Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 2-27-23

Episode Date: February 28, 2023

Bill rambles about the 90's, old man guidelines, and girlfriends going to psychics. Policy Genius:  Get you insurance quote at www.policygenius.com Zip Recruiter:  Try for free at www.ZipRecruiter.com/BURR

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday. For Monday, man, February 27th, 2023. What's going on, Hawaii? Oh my God, it's the last fucking Monday of February. What are you going to do with it? Oh, that means I go back into the fucking my 10-day, you know, detox. Oh, Bill, are you going to bring this up every month? All right, I won't, but I'll tell you what, I'm dropping weight. I'm finally losing this fucking COVID shit that I've been walking around with. And according to studies, even if you walk around with just an extra five pounds on your belly, just that extra five pounds, the amount of extra stress it puts on your heart will stop you from getting to

be bitched at by your wife for another eight years. You know, you'll miss all of that. You'll miss your shuffling ears. I like how people think if they're hastening their deaths, they're going to miss their shuffling ears. It's like only if you drop dead, only if you're lucky enough to drop dead, underrated, dropping dead, no suffering for you just for everyone around you. All right. And then I guess the nicer death to fucking go through a disease and then everybody gets to say goodbye. Is dropping dead the Irish goodbye of the ultimate Irish goodbye? Sorry, I am in a fucking, I don't know, it's been raining the last couple of days. And then last night I was down the comedy store doing the great Josh Adam Myers

show, the goddamn comedy jam. And I told him like a month ago, I told him I would do the show and I forgot I said that. And then he's like, it's me up. He's like, he's like, yeah, what song do you want to do? And I was like, I don't know. I don't want to do anymore from my fucking metal 80s days. Let's get into the 90s. I go, you want to play a Nirvana song? And he goes, all right, smells like teen spirit. Yeah, that always kills. And then like three four days before the jam, he goes, dude, if we did black hole sun right before smells like teen spirit, that would fucking kill. And I'm thinking like, yeah, absolutely would, but that's not an easy song. I'm a father or two. I'm a I'm a fucking guitar centered

dad drummer. I can't put that shit together. Right? I got all into my feels. I got all the skin. I started catastrophize and I was just like, I fuck it up. I'll, I'll figure it out. We winged it. Bit of a train wreck in the end, but the part in the middle that's in nine bananail, bananail, sick. No, seven, eight, nine, bananail, seven, eight, nine, but a do in my life. Whatever the words are in dispose. I'm always like so locked into listening to whatever the band is doing. I never really listened to the lyrics until it gets to the chorus, you know, except for row, row, row your boat. I mean, it's kind of hard to miss those, but all the other songs. So we did that song and, uh, and then we

did smell like teen spirit. It was so much fun. I must have made like fucking 20 mistakes in both songs. Um, smells like teen spirit. Of course, Dave Grohl, not an easy fucking song. You think it's easy. He just does all this weird shit. And he goes, good, go, good, go. He does like a flam on his snare and on the floor, Tom, but in between both he goes over and hits the hi-hat, you know, cause why make it easy? Um, you know what it is? He's repeating a theme that he, that he created in the beginning of the song. Huh? Who's watched a couple of drum videos I have. Do I know what creating a theme means? Uh, no. Means I remember you did something like that earlier. That's what a theme is. And then it makes

people in the crowd like me go, yay. Right. And then you buy the single. I'll tell you, I had mixed emotions doing, um, not sound garden, more nirvana. I had mixed emotions because that band, I've always had like a love hate thing where obviously it's fantastic music, but I hated that band cause they, I've said this a million, they, they, and that band ended my youth. All right. I turned 23. There's no more fun birthdays after that. All right. You got to wait until you, oh, somebody said last night you get to rent a car at like 25. Um, but come on. I mean, that doesn't compare to, you know, getting able to vote now, um, being able to drink legally, going to a titty bar and participate in human

trafficking. Right. Well, now I'm supposed to get excited cause I can rent a fucking Ford festiva. Um, did they call it the festiva because they moved their plant to Mexico is festiva a Latin word? Is it a Mediterranean? Is it a love language word? Is it just something some guy in a suit came up with in Pontiac, Michigan? I don't know. Um, anyway, yeah, I was 23 years old. So basically my youth was over. Like the next exciting thing that happens to you on a birthday is when you turn 50 and you get an AAP card and you walk into the movies and they go, that'll be 92 50. And you were like, ah, ah, ah, not so fast, youngster. And they go, we're sorry. It'll be 89 95. You know, I've never used that fucking thing.

I tried using it at the movies one time. I mean, I think it's so great that when you get old, they give you a discount on stuff. They know it's like, all right, we got to, this guy needs, you know, this guy needs to be cut a break. He's old. He knows he's going to fucking, you know, kick the bucket soon. Let's, let's hook them up with that, you know, little discount on the new George Clooney, Julia Roberts, romcom, anti romcom. They're divorced. They don't like each other. Right. And I could go in there and rather than pay whatever a movie ticket costs now, I get that out of touch bill. No, I just use my credit card and I don't even pay attention. I literally just give the thing to them and then they

give me what I wanted to buy back. And then, you know, they're like, do you want a receipt? And I always say, no, I don't. They go, okay. And then I walk away and I have no idea how much things cost. Like, you remember when George Herbert Walker was running for president and they asked him how much a dozen eggs cost and he didn't know and they got all over him. What he should have said is, oh yeah, what's the bank angle you want to be at when you're trying to get a Jap zero off your fucking tail so you don't fucking die when you're 18? Let me tell you something, lady. You can buy those eggs because of what I did. Do you know, Chino Airport out here has an aviation museum and they have the only, I think, only in captivity.

Japanese zero, like all, you know, not shot up or anything like that over here. And the only one that we have, I got to go check that out. I mean, that's legendary. I was reading about those dog fights and the Japanese zero was way lighter and way faster. Ours was heavier and slower, but you were much more protected where I feel like the Japanese pilots were in like a race car where I don't know if you ever got an opportunity to walk up to a race car. It looks like the biggest piece of shit you've ever seen in your life. It's literally an engine, a roll cage, and a seat. That's it. Steering wheel. And then they just put like, it's like kind of particle board for the body of the car. Anyway, what the fuck am I talking about? I was trying to talk about Nevada. I'm

talking about World War II aviation, which I know nothing about. I read Flyboys. That's it. It told the stories of pilots. It didn't talk about the aircraft. So anyway, yeah, that, I would turn 23 and that album came out and fucking overnight, overnight, MTV and everybody was just like, this is the new fucking sound. And I can't, I don't, I've never seen anything like that in my life. As far as just overnight, it was like, this shit's over and this shit is in now. Because I even feel like once Grunge died down, well Grunge didn't really have a long run at all. It was kind of like from fucking 91 to about 95, 96 maybe, then Eminem and all those guys came in, right? And then the, I want it that way. Tell me why I know fucking

something's heartache, whatever the boy bands came in. And overlap and all of that was Wu Tang, Biggie, Tupac, right? Coolio. I remember some stuff. I was doing so many stand-up spots that whole decade is a blur. But I never seen such an abrupt, like literally just fucking cut the head off the snake. Heavy metal is done. This shit is in. Overnight, overnight, people that were going to the MTV Music Awards for 10 years in a row did not get an invite. Then there was that one sort of like caught in the middle thing, which would be the Skid Row, great album, The Slave to the Grind album, the follow-up to their debut album. Am I hosting a show on fucking Sirius XM right now? I feel like I am.

That is a great album. And I feel like it got lost in the fucking shuffle of all that music coming out. So it took me a good four years to finally admit that Nirvana was a really fucking great band, and that I love their music. So anyway, last night, I had to go out damn comedy jam. We did both of those songs. And, you know, like I said, I fucked up a bunch of times, but I had a good time. I finally got over the whole like, I have to play this exactly the way that other person, I got to go get the, I got to go watch people do drum covers and I don't know. It's just like, you know, fuck this. All right, let me just do my version of it, and I'll just have a good time. And it was fun. I wasn't nervous at all.

I don't get nervous playing drums in front of people anymore, which is pretty cool. I remember back in the day, I would get so nervous, I felt like I couldn't even feel my legs. Then I was just trying to get through it. And I'd be thinking like towards, oh my god, it's almost over. Okay, it's over. All right, it's over. I did it. But I forgot to enjoy it. Anyway, and then I was sort of fighting off a depression when I was down the comedy store, which has happened to me lately, because just you want to talk about like a fucking a change. Oh my god, look at this. Look at this. A fucking a segue here. Like from hair metal to grunge, I would say pre-pandemic comedy store to post-pandemic comedy store. The amount of people

that were there and are now not moved away, you know, got canceled or whatever the fuck happened. And I'm down there. And now I think I'm the oldest guy down there now. Like, oh my god. What happened? Just out of curiosity, where is everybody? It's kind of what I thought. And then a buddy of mine came in and I was like, oh god, thank god, a familiar face. And he told me he just closed on a house, you know, like 10 states away and, you know, because he can't afford a house out here, which I totally understand. And I'm just like, fuck. So, so that's happening. I just sort of, I don't know, sort of fucking addressed it in my head. And I was like, all right, how do you do this? I, you know, I just started thinking of, I just

started thinking about George Carlin. Because George Carlin, I feel like out of anybody else had the passion in the fire right up until he died. And just always seemed like he was excited about his new hour and all of that type of shit. Yeah, but I'm not gonna lie to you. I literally felt like the guy that stayed back three times in high school. That's, that's what happens. That's, you know, you hang around long enough. Here's another one. If you hang around long enough, you get to hear your generation turn into old people, which I have. And, and fucking bitch about, this is what you do when you get old. You bitch about everything that's happening now, and then you romanticize when you grew up. Like the amount of people that I see when I, you know,

because I'm always looking up videos from the 80s and all of that shit. And people are like, I'm so I thank my, I thank my lucky stars every day that I got to experience the 80s. I just feel so bad for the youth today that they didn't get to experience the 80s. And it's just like the 80s weren't that great. All right, you were just young. That was the deal. You were young, you had no debt, you had no responsibilities, no children, none of that fucking shit. That's why the 80s were awesome for you. Now, while you were enjoying the 80s, there was a bunch of other people, their neighborhoods were getting taken over by crack. That was the crack 80s. New York City had gone bankrupt. The rust belt was rusting out. I mean, it was a bunch of horrible shit. We were in

an unbelievable economic depression, but none of that affected you because you were like 12, 13, 14, and you were watching that. So all of these young kids today who see fucking old people from my generation shitting on them, just know that your generation is going to do the same thing. You guys are going to be bitching when the future being like, this isn't rap. I can understand what the MC is saying. So that's kind of what I found. So the trick is, which I've kind of failed miserably when it comes to sports, the trick is to not, is to maintain that perspective and understand that every generation, whatever decade you're in, that's their 80s. So whatever the 60s, whatever 70s, whatever fucking decade, the 90s is another one. Oh, weren't the 90s the best?

The fucking 90s were the best. Oh, really? Were they the best? When Clinton signed that fucking whatever the fucking sign that finally fully deregulated the banks that caused the 2008 collapse, which causes us now every August to be like, is this the year our economy collapses? I oversimplified that. It also, you know, when you fight a fucking 20-something year of war with no fucking clear goal or end in sight, that'll do it too, right? Oh, look at that, a blue tie and a red tie sent us right into the fucking drink. Well, what are the odds of that? It's almost like they're serving the same master. Holy shit. So anyway, I've been, so I think the ideal way to be an old person is to be old, steer into being an old man, you know, get yourself some sweaters,

some button-up sweaters, you know, some sort of Bob Hope hat for the sun so you don't get old age spots, and get your AARP card, find a good diner, you know, keep reading the newspaper, you know, all that old man shit while simultaneously rooting for young people, giving them advice if they ask for it, and then just enjoying sitting back observing like, look at them right now, they're in their 80s right now, do they realize it? Because if you don't do that, you end up at the back of the comedy store going like, oh my god, where did everybody go? I'm old. Speaking of people going somewhere, the great Joe Rogan, as we all know, relocated to Texas a few years ago, and guess what I, I don't know if I'm supposed to say that he, okay,

I don't know if this has been released yet, but he has a certain something that he was going to open up out there, and he sent me a video, so I'm very excited about that. It rhymes with Romedy Love. I'm sure he did, because somebody else goes, hey, did you see that video? Whatever, he's opening a comedy club out there, and it looks like it's about ready to open the comedy mothership, and I am very excited for him, and stand-up comedy in general. I'll tell you, I wouldn't know it from my fucking melancholy vibes here, is I actually had, the last two nights I went down to the store, I had a fucking killer set, and I got all this new shit that I've been trying out, and it's, and it's sort of the perfect level of saying something, being silly, making

fun of myself, and then also trashing both sides. I'm kind of liking where it's at, and which makes me excited, because I go back out on the road, go back out on the road in April, I'm, oh, Billy's getting back in the saddle, you know, after my three-month retirement from the road, which I'm only two-thirds of the way through, thoroughly fucking enjoyed it. I'll tell you, I'm enjoying it so much, I'm actually thinking of waving at least the coffee portion, the first 10 days of the month, where I just detox, I'm considering waving the coffee thing, just so I can fucking enjoy every day this month, but I'm not going to do that, because then it's like, okay, I can have some coffee on an occasional cigar. I'm not doing that,

so what I do love is when I don't drink coffee, is the old man nap comes back. Now, I know it's considered an old man nap, but you're going to, when you're in your 20s, you're going to feel the need, you're going to start feeling the need to take a nap, don't fight it. It doesn't mean you're getting old, it means you're listening to your body, and your body's saying you're tired, and it's great for your brain, and evidently, new studies have shown, one of my favorite expressions in the English language, new studies have shown, a new study just showed that Jesus was actually left-handed, and it's like, what in the fuck information did you get?

That somehow everybody else missed over the last 2,000 fucking, what's 32 minus, 23 minus 32, 23, 7, 8, 9, over the last fucking 1,991 years. What the fuck information you just found? New studies show that if you take naps and stuff like that, get 8 hours sleep and all that, it's a good way to help stave off dementia, and what's the other one you get? Not amnesia, dementia, and Alzheimer's. I don't know what the difference the 2 is, but I'm not going to Google search that, because my health insurance will go up just by doing the search, they're just going to be like, oh, this guy thinks he's forgetting things.

So anyway, what the fuck else did I want to talk about? Did I write anything down here? I usually have like a little set list of shit that I want to talk about. I am really excited that MotoGP is coming back, and it's looking like I'm going to be going to that race, which I am fucking beyond excited about. Boston Bruins still winning. They're having the greatest season in the franchise history, and I've probably seen five games. I am paying attention to them looking at the block scores. I saw our goalie, I don't even know his fucking name, in a 2-1 game with Vancouver pulling the goalie. Everybody in his end, he gets collects the puck

and shoots a fucking, I don't know, 120-foot rister, however long the fucking ice is. Too ice the game, and Jack Edwards predictably lost his fucking mind. I got to start watching that shit, because I'm going to go in the road. You know something, when your team plays this well in the regular season, and you're excited to a point, and then you're kind of like, all right guys, the playoffs are coming. There's like this pressure, because then everybody else is jealous that your team's playing so well, and they're like, yeah, but what if they don't win all of it? Then what? And then you start getting, you literally start getting like fucking anxious,

like oh fuck, what if they don't win at all? What's going to happen? The reality is nothing. But I'm trying to think of some of the teams that won a couple of those Indianapolis Colts teams in the 2000s, going like fucking 15-1, 13-3, 14-2, and then losing like back-to-back years to the 9-7 Chargers at home. The Seattle Mariners, that year they won over 120 games. The 1983 Boston Bruins, when the president's trophy, the first year I went to a game, and I went to the playoffs, and the first round was best three out of five, and I went to game one of this series, we played the Canadians, and we lost game one, and they fucking swept us. Pete Peters had won

the Vesna Trophy, I mean, that year was such a sh... But then you know something though, we fucking, we would go up against those Islander teams, and they were in the middle of their run, it's not like we were going to beat them. You had to have a team as good as the fucking Edmonton Oilers, and it took Edmonton two tries, they lost in 84, and then came back, no I'm sorry, they lost in in 83, and then came back in 84. Yeah, you know what, I don't think we would have got past the Islanders, even having that, they were just such a fucking machine, they were a fucking machine, but it would have been nice to not get swept by the Canadians. However though, that made finally beating them in the playoffs way better, and we pretty much, I don't know, they're not a

factor anymore. There's no more curse or anything, and like when we play them in the playoffs, I expect to beat them, because I feel like we usually do now, which is something I never thought I would say. Now there's a bunch of French fries there, getting all fucking upset up there in Montréal. Let me do some of the advertising reads here for the week. Jesus Christ, where the hell is everything? Confirm MacBook Passwords, what is all this shit? All right, here we go. Oh, look who it is everybody, it's all Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter, how can you break through the clutter and attract the most qualified candidates for your business? Oh, well, that's Zip Recruiter, and right now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com

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you know, be there for your kids. Put down the meth. I said put it down. Hang on a second. I got a fucking Zoom meeting. No, I wasn't cursing at you. I was cursing at my son. Well, I'd rather not get into it. No, I won't turn my laptop around. That's a violation of, yes, I would like to still work here, but not really ever come into the office. Okay, here's the layout of my house. Oh, man, I got into it with my... I didn't want to talk about this fucking. I'm not going to talk about it. I went to a fucking event and they had this COVID thing and he had to sign a release and all of this fucking shit because they were filming some stuff. So I do what I always do whenever I sign a release. I just write Rich Voss and wrote

all of this shit, but these motherfuckers made me hold the paper up and take a picture with it like I was going into some sort of fucking work camp. Let's just say I did not handle that well. And you know, I had a little bit of Tourette's in that moment, you know, muttering under my breath and all of that shit. And I don't know why I just said, I'm not, listen, I signed it. I'm not taking it a picture. I should have just said that and then I could have walked away, but I didn't. I'll know to do that again in the future. Then it was funny was I walked into the event and nobody checked to see if you had gotten your COVID test. Other than that, it was a well-run event. All right. Policy genius. If you have a family like I do, you know how much your loved ones depend

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flip dumbass. Oh, he calls me a dumbass. He doesn't even use a period. No punctuation. I just wanted to say millennials did not come up with the water bottle flip dumbass. It was the generation after. All right. Oh, that makes sense. God knows millennials were too afraid to leave the house. Oh, shit. I saw this awful thing where this fucking old broad was going like, yeah, I'm a Gen Xer, man. Like, if you wonder why we're loners, we do this and we're so fucking bad it's because we didn't have parents. It's like, will you shut the fuck up? Why are you trying to make us out like we want? We didn't win a war. We didn't do anything. What are you talking about? Well, maybe the Gulf War.

Was that really a war? It was more like a mini series. The first one. The Star Wars before the empire strikes back. And now I think we're into the return of the Jedi portion of this exercise over there. Yeah. Like, I remember just, I just started cringing when I was watching this, just going like, like, who are you making this for? For other morons in your generation that are going to be like, yeah, our music was the best, our stuff was like, what are you doing? And once again, for all you young people, if you don't think that there's going to be someone from your generation talking about the 20s or whatever the twizzles, whatever the fucking little fucking slangy way you're going to say you're fucking decade, there's going to be somebody

doing it. I got to find that video. I saw it as a Gen Xer. I don't condone this message. Get out of your ego. You're fucking old. Let young people have a good time. Stop fucking bitching about them and then exaggerating what the fuck we did. Okay. What did we do? We had mullets and we drank beers in the woods. Okay. And we watched guys dress like women sing about the devil. That's what we were doing. All right. I think it's time to take it down a big fucking notch. All right. Valentine's Day fun fact. Hey, Billy boy. Long time fan and podcast listener from Germany here. Hey, the motherland for most of my jeans. Just writing in to give you a fun fact about Valentine's Day. I heard you bitch about the made up bullshit fucking holiday where a man has to celebrate his

woman and she doesn't have to do shit. Okay. Well, I thought you might be delighted to know that that that ain't the case everywhere. Oh, here we go in South Korea. I'd love to go there. In South Korea, for example, it is actually the women that are expected to buy the guys flowers and especially chocolate and don't get anything in return. That is until a month later on the 14th of March, it's called White Day. And then it's the men's turn to give gifts. I wonder why it's called White Day. You got to give them lilies. In the end of the day, it's all corporate bullshit anyways, but hey, at least this way, you know that your girl got you so you can think twice about what you want to get her. Take care. Freckles love your stuff. Yeah. You know, it's great too,

which is really smart is that they have the women celebrate the guys first. Okay. Cause God knows if we celebrated them first, their selfish asses wouldn't get us fucking anything. So they are basically their incentive is to treat you like a king. So you don't fuck them over a month later. That's fantastic. Hey, shout out to South Korea. Hey, you know what? Shout out to North Korea too, if you're listening. I don't give a fuck about any of that shit. I look at leaders as like independence and then I look at the people as something else, you know? I mean, look at who we got right now. We literally have a guy who fucking out of, he can't even ride a bicycle. It is a lying, like such a lying sack of shit. It's like fucking, it goes into like,

he like lies so much. You're almost like, it's this guy. This guy has to believe these lies. These are so fucking crazy. If you've seen that clip of him, he's like, I have you know, I graduated the top of my class. I fucking saved a bunch of people from a burning bill. He fucking just went off about himself and it was all lies. And if you watch the confidence that he delivered this fucking message, I mean, unless he did some massive change of heart, because he was well until like his fifties when he was doing that. So you're kind of who you are, right? I don't know. I like to think I'm still changing, you know, trying to peel off another layer of the onion. Remember when Madonna kept, she used to always say that, justify, you know,

why her titties were out, whatever the fuck it was she was doing. I actually am a big fan of Madonna, you know? I like that song. I think we're alone now. Doesn't seem to be anyone around. And of course her biggest hit. Oh, Mickey, you're so fine. You're so fine. You blow my mind. Hey, Mickey. Hey, Mickey. Borderline. That was my favorite one. Feels like I'm going to lose my mind. The 80s, man. It was the greatest decade ever. You fucking kids today, you know, with your fucking youth and your whole life's ahead of you fucking assholes. I have to find that Gen X video and I got a fucking, I got it. I got it. Do you build at 54? Do you really have to go find an Instagram post and comment on it? You fucking loser. You're right. I don't. I need to get a life.

One of the greatest underrated sitcoms of all time. Get a life with Chris Elliott. Back in the nineties, man. You guys missed it, man. We went from ABC, NBC, CBS to Fox and WB. They added two new networks. You have no idea what a big deal that was. All right, Ohio. For the record, I downloaded the new Yachty album. Little Yachty as opposed to Big Yachty. Little Yachty. You know, he's being smart with this money. I was kind of with the album until the woman goes, hey, why don't you come over and bust this pussy wide open? I will tell you, I got to be old here. What is funny is listening to young people talk

about sex. It always reminds me of my drummer, Frank Xu Shan, my drum teacher, right? Frank Xu Shan, the last of the great Armenian trap drummers. He used to tell me he was in his seventies and I was in my twenties and he was telling me these stories of stuff he did back in the day and my jaw was on the ground and he just laughed and he goes, let me tell you something, kid. Every generation thinks they're the first generation to fuck, which is why when I listen to like that overtly like sexual fucking lyrics and stuff, I don't know. You're just sitting there going like, all right. So this is like, I guess this is, I guess this was considered shocking in my generation too.

We thought we were shocking older people and now I realize that older people are listening to the song going like, yeah, I've done all of that and then some. Except for the religious prudes. Um, yeah, you guys missed it, man. You missed the eighties. Yeah. Yeah. Go read up on the PMRC, man. When they tried to take our fucking music away and the great D. Snyder went up in front of the fucking, I don't know what it was. It was a bunch of old guys in suits and he made a point and then he flipped his fucking hair to let him know generation X was in the fucking house. You mumble rep sons of bitches. You don't know what it was like. All right. I will tell you what was better than nineties baseball. Oh my God. The fucking steroids nineties. I mean, it was fire was something

this, I mean, you guys can have your Marvel movies. I'll take the 1998 baseball season. All right. Ohio. Hey, Bill, haven't you heard, haven't heard you mentioned the high, the Ohio train derailment? Oh, that's cause I don't watch the news. I saw a little bit of that. Yeah, there was chemicals and stuff, right? The effects have been catastrophic to the environment. The railway needs upgrading and the deregulation deregulation from the current and former administration has made it impossible for money and attention to fix our infrastructure problems. Well, that's weird because that would create jobs and would make whoever was in office look good, right? Anyway, there was a railway strike happened a few months ago,

but grandpa Joe crushed the strike because no one gives a fun nationally. I think a fuck nationally about overworked railroad workers. It seemed cliche, but a hundred billion in blank checks to fight a proxy war in the Ukraine, but they didn't bother to send any help for cleanup to our own citizens. Sir, just out of curiosity, are you noticing a theme yet? When they send that money over there to the Ukraine and all of that, like the Ukraine has to pay us back. We don't just fucking give them the money. We're getting them in debt to us. And then they have to pay us back and the corporations get paid and all of that shit. It's that confessions of an economic hitman bullshit. But if you notice here,

you know, Hurricane Katrina, they just let those people fucking drown. They didn't give a fuck. There was no fresh water down in Mississippi. No fresh water. Go fuck yourself. You guys out there with your, you know, dealing with chemicals, you know, go fuck yourselves and fuck all your, your future health problems. They don't give a shit. And all they do is act like, you know, Democrats don't give a fuck about you because we're Republicans and we give a shit about you. And then Democrats go, no, no, no, we give a fuck about you. The Republicans don't give a fuck about you. And meanwhile, neither one of them gives a fuck about you. They don't get paid enough money. It's not

financially in their best interest to give a fuck about you. It's financially in their best interest to serve super, super fucking rich people. And that's what they do. All right, on both sides. So anyway, the water is unsafe to drink, but officials are saying it's fine. There was a mushroom cloud of black smoke over the wreck after they intentionally detonated the chemicals to expedite the clear clearing of the railway to allow trains to keep running. It was a stupid and careless decision to top it all off. There are bitches on TV saying that because Ohio, saying that because Ohio had leaned, as you would say, a con hair towards Trump, that we deserve what was coming. Please tell me nobody said that politicizing an issue

that has the children of a town exposed to known carcinogens is inexcusable. Absolutely it is. Dude, out here in the valley, they had a fucking a nuclear test site that they never cleaned up. And to this day, people are still getting sick. They just don't. We are all expendable to them. All right, there would be a flame under their ass to save. Let's just say it's affecting 10,000 people. If those were the last 10,000 people in this country, there would be a fire under their ass to save them because they don't want to dig their own ditches or fight their fucking wars that they start. All right, but what this is going to affect is an expendable amount of people in their fucking world. That's how cold and inhuman they are, regardless of the color of

tie that they wear. And Fox News and CNN doesn't give a fuck other than blaming one side or the other for the problem, but they don't give a fuck about you. They don't give a fuck about they all they give a shit about is ratings because that's their money. So that's why I don't watch the news. That's why I don't pay attention to politics. I don't do any of that stuff because it was bad enough when I was a kid, but to now watch people on the internet buying into it and losing their minds and actually saying something horrible like that, well, you voted for Trump. So basically you should die of carcinogens, including your children is beyond fucked up. And equally beyond fucked up is watching individuals on social media become their own

version of CNN and Fox News where they edit, you know, where they start telling the story and how they're spinning shit to fit with their political ideology is just insane to me. Anyway, this person says with all the environmental pushes these days, it's clear that they don't care about not for profit action, only when they can tax us do they give a fuck about the trees. Yeah, that's true. Well, I'm sorry you're going through all of that. And I think once again, it's going to be up to fucking individuals, citizens to help out fellow citizens, because neither the Democrats or the Republicans will ever help us out. And they work for the corporations and corporations don't give a fuck about us.

All they give a fuck about is making more money. So that would be up to us. So I don't know. I'm sure there'll be some stand up benefit or something. Or maybe I can start something, figure something out. Maybe I should fucking read up on it. I just saw it look devastating. I was like, I don't want to look at that, which doesn't make it go away. All right, this is getting gloomy. All right, girlfriend dumped me after seeing psychic. Listen, there's got to be some sort of go fund me to help people. Is there a go fund me to actually clean it up correctly? Isn't that hilarious? We pay all these taxes and then we still have to fucking raise more money instead of them using them.

And it's so fucking brilliant to just get people yelling at each other and blaming different colored ties. So then nothing gets done. Girlfriend dumped me after seeing psychic. Oh my God, that's fucking amazing. That is fucking amazing. What a fucking awesome story and talk about dodging a bullet. Good Lord, dude. If I was dating somebody and they dumped me after seeing a psychic, well, it'd be hard because I'd have feelings. But standing on the outside of that, you should literally be skipping down the street in a fucking speedo with a goddamn party hat on.

The happiest guy, most happiest uninhibited human being in the fucking world. Jesus Christ. Do you know who was into that bullshit Adolf Hitler? He was into astrology and all of that shit. The fucking Germans for as smart as they are with, you know, space travel and the automobile physics. They ended up being under the control of a private that was into fucking astrology. All right, girlfriend dumped me after seeing a psychic. Hey, Bill, it's all in the title. Yes, it is. My girlfriend and her friends went to a psychic on a bachelorette party and the message that the spirits, okay, already, already I'm seeing red flags. You've seen, been seeing this chick for a while. You haven't popped the question. She's

out on a bachelorette party. She's happy for a friend and sort of low key jealous. That's what I'm guessing the backstory is. All right, they're on a bachelorette party. And the message that the spirits decided to commune to the mystical woman working out of a strip mall was that I would eventually break up with my girlfriend for another girl. She was supposedly right about a few other things like my girlfriend's close relationship with her grandmother and her cats. She okay, so this is I was wrong about this. All right. She also was aware that my girlfriend was not married. I told her that maybe she guessed it because my girlfriend wasn't wearing a wedding ring. She replies. How does that explain the cats? I guess I dodged a bullet in a way 100

percent. It just really sucks having the fate of your relationship decided by someone who doesn't know either of you. I know, but dude, the fact that she would listen to her, that that woman's not going to have your back in any situation. It's whatever somebody else, what somebody else says about you is the truth. If that's how the person you're, you're, you're with feels like not how you behave, not your actions, not the reality of your relationship. If it's the perception of somebody else, forget about some fucking asshole who doesn't even know anything about you, who's, who's, who's a grifter. A word a buddy of mine used the other day. I like that word. Yeah, dude, you definitely dodged a bullet. Anyways, the person goes on to say, here's the

kicker. A few weeks later, after not talking to her and being pretty bum, she calls me and says she might have been wrong. I really liked her, but this puts things into perspective about her ability to make radical decisions based on bullshit. A hundred percent, buddy. She said she might be wrong because one of her other girlfriends was predicted to meet a future husband on a work trip that the next week, her trip got canceled due to weather, which negated the psychic's prediction. Well, she'll have the yacht. Well, that's because it got canceled and it's like, well, how come you didn't predict that? I'm sorry. The session is over. Anyway, can't be mad at her because the weather probably fucked it up too. Wait, her trip got canceled due to weather,

which negated the psychic's prediction. Can't be mad at her because the weather probably probably fucked it up too. Either way, I walked away from the table with the chips I had left in my hand. I thought about what you said while making my decision, and it seemed like a layup decision. A hundred percent, dude, and I'm proud of you. I'm fucking proud of you. That's like, you know, she doesn't have your back or, I don't know. I don't want to say this. Maybe she's not the smartest person in the world. Maybe she's anywhere from gullible to a fucking idiot, which I don't know. You don't sound like a fucking idiot, so maybe she isn't, but I don't know. To actually go through with that and break up with you,

yeah, you 100% made the right decision, and, you know, I would go send that psychic flowers and just say, hey, man, listen, I know you're completely full of shit, but well, you know something, you kind of got to respect that psychic that you predicted something so negative. Usually they say positive shit, don't they? Well, I guess they got to throw some negatives in there to make it seem like they're telling the truth. Hey, any guilt-ridden psychics out there want to fucking confess anything on this podcast? Let me do this is the last thing. Psychic comes clean. No internet. Oh, the psychics are there all over me here. All right, well, you guys,

that's your homework. You guys Google that and then send me some articles. Has there ever been, you know, because there's been magicians that have actually, you know, broken the code of silence and told how they put the fucking they got the rabbit in the hat or whatnot? Maybe there's some psychics out there to be like, all right, this is how I'm not saying we all do it this way, but this is how I used to bullshit people. Don't you feel like the longer you live that you can kind of like, you can, what the fuck is that on? You can kind of, you get those Hannibal Lecter skills. You know what I mean? You're looking like a, like how a woman's dressed or something like that.

And you know, you start, you can tell, you know, things about her, right? You look at how a guy, you know, and women want to be like, nah, ladies, you're not that deep. You're not that deep. All right. And then guys, I mean, Jesus Christ, speaking and not that deep. Yeah, I saw a guy walking across the street the other day and I could tell he had a bad relationship with his father. And he had gotten into a lot of fights and that he was kind of on the other side of that. And he was trying to settle down and not be that guy. And all he did was walk in front of my car. All right. Now I'm not saying I'm right on any of that, but I could fucking sit there and have a veil and a little head wrap on and I could fucking do some

shit. I can grow some facial hair. You need weird facial hair, right? Like that guy back in the day that was into Satan in the 1960s. Remember that fucking weird Lucifer guy and these celebrities would hang out with him? Which by the way, it's one of the things I learned a long time ago in the uninformed, the late great uninformed show was that Satanists don't believe in Satan. They don't believe in a devil, heaven or hell or anything like that. They just, what they believe in is just living for yourself. So you just do things that you want to do that makes you feel good, you know, bang whoever you want to bang, do drugs, fucking not do that shit if that makes you feel good. Don't have kids because they take up too much of your time.

That's what it is. It's not like they're sitting there, you know, sacrificing whatever the fuck you sack. What do you sacrifice in a satanic ritual? Is it a goat? Is it a virgin? I have no idea. Anyway, that's the podcast, everybody. MotoGP is coming up next month as is formula one. Racing season starts, baseball season starts, March madness, NHL and NBA playoffs are right around the corner. And if that isn't exciting enough, old freckles, old Billy Redface, old Billy fucking dropping pounds over here, fucking eating protein and fucking greens, baby. I'm coming back out on the road. I'm starting off with a gig in Ottawa. And then I go to New York city to do the 10th annual

Patrice O'Neill comedy benefit at the New York city center. We just added a surprise guest, meaning somebody famous is going to come down there and do 15 minutes for you. Very excited about that. I stayed out a little bit late, but other than that, I feel pretty rested. I like where my act is. And I think I'm going to do this more often. I think once a year, I'm going to take three months off on the road while still working on my act, still pitching shows, still doing acting stuff, but I just won't be traveling. I can do that, right? I mean, if you guys can fill out an application with one click and work remotely, why can't I take a couple of months off from the road while keeping my act sharp down at the comedy store?

Bill, no one's saying you can't do that. I got to get a fucking a humidifier. It's what the fuck I got to get. Every morning, I wake up with a fucking scratchy throat over here. Anyways, that's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves. And I will, I'll check in on you on Thursday.