Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 2-3-20
Episode Date: February 3, 2020Bill rambles about the Super Bowl, things that should be illegal, and conflicting food facts....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast from Monday,
February 3rd, 2020. What's going on? Oh man. You know, the day after the Super Bowl is always
such a bummer unless you're a team one for the rest of us. It's just like, oh man, football
season is over. Now what do I do? You know what you do? You watch fucking hockey or basketball.
You pick one of the other college or pro, whatever your fucking deal is. Anyways,
congratulations to your Kansas City Chiefs. That's 2019 Super Bowl champions.
Their second championship. They won Super Bowl four in Super Bowl 54.
That has to be a record. In fact, I know it is. As far as like wins between Super Bowls,
I mean, the jets will break it someday, whatever the fuck they want it. But as for right now,
that is your record. So congratulations. You got to be going crazy, folks. You got to be going crazy
in fucking Kansas City, Missouri, or if you're the president, he thinks Kansas City, Kansas.
You know, it's not those things that makes me just not like Trump. It's when he just
openly defends bigots and racists. It's just fucking like the fact that people can still
fucking sit there and be like, yeah, just beyond me. And I don't mind conservative thought. It's
just, you know, how about you let everybody sit down at the fucking table, man? Anyway,
condolences to the 49ers who were right there with 10 minutes left winning 20 to 10.
That close to winning their sixth and joining the Pittsburgh Steelers and your New England
Patriots as the, I don't know, biggest winners of Super Bowls, which for some reason, the
fucking league is 100 years old and you only need six titles to be the fucking Yankees,
which makes no fucking sense. They just, you know, they just blew off their first 50 years.
I don't understand it. We'll never understand it. We'll never, I did that type of shit.
I don't understand politicians in LA with this stupid petition asking the Red Sox to give back
the World Series title from last year. While it's like, okay, well, if you're really about fair play,
then you should, you should also give back the Los Angeles Lakers 2002 NBA title,
considering there was a mobbed up ref that fixed the series against the Sacramento Kings.
So what is it LA? Do you really give a shit or do you just give a shit about yourselves?
Speaking of which, I had so much fun watching that game because I didn't have a dog in the
fight and I thought it was so cool seeing the chiefs in there and the way they did the end zone,
like the way it was way back in the day. It's the exact same end zone. If you like the same color,
you know, 64 toss power trap. That shit was great to see the 49ers back in it.
I don't know. They look cool playing each other. I don't know. I really enjoyed it. And then I was
just at this party watching 49er fans, one in particular, absolutely losing his mind at the
fucking officiating in that game. And I got to tell you, I'm impartial here. He wasn't wrong.
I thought one of the major advantages the 49ers had was their front four. And I got to be honest with
the level of fucking holding that they just didn't call. I mean, we were seeing it in live time. I
would just be going holding. They grabbed that boss a guy, they just right underneath his pads
and just hang on on like major fucking plays. It was such a, you know, just such a weird thing.
Like, you know, I would not call it holding like they barely called it the whole fucking game.
And then something they never call offensive pass interference. All of a sudden they call it,
which I understand why they called it, but I can also understand why you wouldn't call it.
That was kind of a tough call. It's just one of those game every time there's a game like somebody's,
you know, it's just somebody's day and you're not going to get the call. So 49ers was not
their day, but despite that, they were still up 20 to 10 and they couldn't close them out. And
the whole game went exactly the way I thought it was going to go until that final final 10 minutes.
And I think the big moment was when they started blitzing and the 49ers had no answer for it.
Um, the receivers needed to pick it up. They needed to break off their routes. They needed
Kaepernick. They needed to give them something to throw at, which I saw fucking Brady have to deal
with all year. And it's so fucking hilarious. They always blame the guy with the ball. And, um,
you know, I, if, if there's like fucking, you know, eight guys up on the line of scrimmage,
you know, you have to break off your route. I would think, you know, continue to run the
fucking thing with your back to your quarterback. Um, I think that that was the, uh, that was the big,
the big change in the game. And what was so weird was they were, they were shutting down. Um,
what's his face? The whole fucking game. Tyreek Hill was just a complete non-factor.
And then all of a sudden the fourth core, the guy, you know, we're just going to throw them now.
And then all of a sudden they couldn't stop them the whole game. Um,
yeah, it was just, yeah, it was kind of, it was just weird. It was just the Kansas city chiefs,
like three playoff games in a row were beat and then just decided they were going to win the game
and nobody could do anything about it. Um, so as much as the officiating was fucking, uh, you know,
it's always going to be, I guess, one side of the, or maybe you notice more if your team loses, but,
it was just their day. And, um, any question will fucking officiating that you had. I mean,
you still were up 10 points with 10 minutes left and it's, you can't fucking, and then you lose by
like 10, you let up like fucking or 11, you let up like fucking 21 points. Um,
but I, you know, I don't know. It's a, it's a new day, man. I watched a better defense.
Like I was watching that Superbowl and when it was 20 to 10, it was like,
I've seen this game a thousand times. This is the fucking the giant's beating the Broncos in 86.
This is the giant's beating the fucking, um, you're going to hear giants a lot in this.
Okay. Because Bill Belichick is the defensive coordinator on all these teams, by the way.
Um, maybe he wasn't in 86, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't 90, uh,
giants versus the bills, the, uh, Patriots first, the fucking, you know,
greatest show on turf, the giants versus the undefeated Patriots. You just see it time and time
again where this fucking offense comes the fucking saints versus the Colts in 2010.
Oh my God, these guys, this go in a zillion fucking points.
You know, I think the fucking, you know, high powered offense is going to be 42 to
fucking 17 or whatever. Then they come in and then the fucking,
the best defense in the league just shuts them down.
Redskins, Raiders with fucking Lester Hayes, Mike Haynes and all of them.
So the whole thing was going that way. And I don't know what the fuck happened in the last 10 minutes.
Um,
there was a number of plays where they had an opportunity
to sack my homes and I thought they went for the ball and just simply didn't tackle the guy.
It was weird. Um,
and he had a horrible day until the last 10 minutes and the final score is all that matters. So, uh,
congratulations to the chiefs and it's a new era. It's a new era. My old theory does not,
I think does not work anymore where a, a better defense can beat a better offense.
Chiefs proved me wrong. I lost 200 bucks to Keith Robinson, but I will tell you, man.
They must be going fucking nuts in, in, uh,
Kansas city. That is, is a fucking great thing. And I was so happy for fucking Andy Reid to finally get one.
All of these fucking assholes who don't know shit about football, myself included,
but I never trashed Andy Reid. Um,
you know, giving him shit. You know, you never won the big one. You know, you never won the big one.
It's just like, you know, so much of it also goes to like, you know, who your fucking
GM is, who your ownership is.
I mean, when you, when you start coaching a fucking team that's just never one, one ever
where he was in Philadelphia.
I mean, put it this way, this is what I have to know about coaching. At one point, the Cleveland Browns
had Bill Belichick and Nick Saban at the same time, and they fired them.
So go figure that one out.
Um, but I had a great time at the, uh, the Super Bowl party. I was at, uh,
where I was at this guy had some amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing cigars. And, um,
I did not smoke one. I kept thinking like, well, maybe I'll be that guy at big events.
I'll smoke a cigar. And I was just thinking, you know what?
I know what's going to happen is I'm going to smoke that thing.
And then I'm going to have to reset the clock as far as how many days I've gone without smoking.
And then it's not going to be a big deal in a couple of days if I smoke another one. So, um,
I'm going to a big sporting event in April. And, uh,
I think maybe I'll have one then. I don't know. Maybe I won't, or my birthday in June.
I came awfully, awfully close. I was looking in the humidor and I was going, oh, oh, oh,
he doesn't have, oh yes, he does have the, oh, but, uh,
you know, I got the green light from my wife because she thinks I'm nuts with this shit.
She goes, you know, I mean, just have a glass of wine because she can do that. I can't.
I keep trying to explain that to her because there's a lot of you guys fucking with these
theories like, oh dude, your wife's making you stop. It's me. I'm doing it. So she's always
going like, have a fucking drink. Jesus Christ. You're fucking wound up. Just don't have 90.
And I keep going to her like, I don't know how to do that.
She's like, all right. Well, go fucking play your drums then go run around the block
something. Um, so anyway, uh, yeah, I was just kind of like with the cigars.
Um, I remember when I first started smoking, like I had won a year. I'd be at the Rose Bowl.
I'd sit on the golf car golf course and I would just smoke a fucking cigar and, um,
and it was great. And then I just, I just didn't for the rest of the year.
And, uh, I told you that was at one time when I was on a movie and I bought a box of cigars for
people and we went on this booze cruise on this little fucking boat. We were shooting something
in Boston and, uh, the boat was just too small and there was too many people who didn't smoke
and it would just be fucking obnoxious. If I started smoking, you know, so, um,
so, so I didn't and, uh, I kept the box and then I fucking went home.
Yeah. So I brought the thing home, the box home or whatever. And, uh,
try to remember this shit here. Yeah. And then I just started, I just, I didn't want to throw
them out and I just fucking smoked them over the course of like fucking, I don't know,
a month and then that was it. So anyway, I'm trying, I'm doing this shit because I'm a fucking
old dad and I'm doing the math going like, you know, I gotta be around here. So anyway,
congratulations to me. Um, and the Kansas city chiefs, uh, anyway, plowing ahead here.
Um, guys, stop asking me fucking questions about that Kobe helicopter crash. I have
230 hours. People just keep fucking sending me emails about it and stuff. And like,
there's going to be a report. It'll come out in a year to 18 months, probably 18 months because of
the level of intention to this thing. It'll tell you everything. They'll fucking, they'll
reassemble the helicopter as much as they'll figure, they, they will figure out what the
fuck happened. Um, it is so fucking ridiculous listening to all of these fucking people who
don't even have a fucking pilot's license saying, uh, special VFR and IFR and the soup
and scud running. It's like, I can barely explain half of that shit. I'm studying it right now
and listen to these fucking idiots who don't even fly. I think, I think Kobe told them to
fuck it. Oh, is that what you think? What is that based on? Cause you don't like the Lakers?
Like I, it's just fucking ridiculous. Just, but I guess that's what people do. I mean,
you know, I am talking about the fucking Super Bowl going, you know, they really weren't calling
holding the fuck do I know? Um, anyway, plowing ahead. So congratulations there. Um, to the
Kansas city chiefs and he read finally getting the monkey off his back. All of these fucking
assholes. Uh, I went on Twitter to check out, you know, all the shit that people would say,
and I saw all these people going after fucking Richard Sherman. You're such fucking pussies.
All of these fucking buffalo, wild wing, man-titted fucking pussies whose balls would
fucking crawl up in them. If they were playing a pre-season game in the NFL, fucking picking on
this guy who came back from one of the worst injuries you can have as far as like, you know,
your speed, you know, an Achilles injury. He's come back. He's still playing shut down
football on the corner. He gets beat on a couple and all of these fucking assholes are giving him
shit. Um, I don't know. I just think that's really, uh, who actually tweets at the player.
You know what I mean? Like what the fuck happened to you and your childhood that you do that?
It's unbelievable. Uh, but then look at me. I looked it up just to see what, what the level
of assholes that people were being. Um, I actually tech, I actually, you know what I did before I
talked about the officiating is I just looked it up to see if there was a lot of talk about it.
And there kind of wasn't only amongst like 49er fans. So that's why I was kind of like, you know,
I don't know what the fuck do I know? Um, I just did find that fucking weird. Uh,
uh, I don't know. So plowing ahead here. Uh, let's see here. What else did I want to talk
about? Oh, so I've been playing a lot of drums now that I don't have any vices left. I mean, I do.
Oh, by the way, some fucking asshole sent me an email about that, that documentary game
changers. And he goes, now you got to watch the, the fucking Joe Rogan podcast because he had those
guys on and then the guy kind of clarifies what he meant. And it's just like, this should be a
fucking law against first of all poisoning food, which I don't understand in this whole fucking
war against terror. Why you can give shit to cows that people then give to their kids that there's
so many fucking hormones that, that little girls are getting their periods at 10 years of age.
Little girls are getting their periods, 10, 11 fucking years old because of the amount of hormones
that these fucking companies have put into fucking cows that ends up in the milk that
children are drinking. Okay. And they get less shit for that than a fucking stand up comedian
who sends out a fucking tweet. Meanwhile, they're sitting there telling me that they're fighting
fucking terrorism. We're for the last 30 years, I have to drink bottled water because of all
this shit corporations. They basically poisoned our own fucking water supply.
Isn't what doesn't, wouldn't ISIS love to do both of those things? Fuck with their food supply
and our water supply. Why aren't those people considered terrorists?
Why isn't like putting fucking opioids or opiates, whatever the fuck you call them,
like pharmaceutical companies, the amount of deaths that they caused.
Not a fucking problem. Not a fucking problem. Caitlyn Jenner joke raked over the fucking
coals. Figure that one out. It's all about the fucking money. That's what it's about, right?
So if you're going to go conspiracy theory there, that's why I feel like, you know,
sports leagues are finessed now. A lot of them, I think they're finessed
in their effort to go global and serve the stars. Like I was joking during the game when I saw
Mahomes bitching about a call. He was at a respectful distance, but he was sort of closing
the distance to the referee huddle. And I was joking with the buddy of mine. I said, hey,
as a Patriots fan, as he wins more and more rings, the distance is going to close
between him and the officials until he's right in the huddle. Like I saw Tom Brady do.
You just start getting the fucking calls because everybody is making so much fucking
money off of you. So you watch is the great Patrick Mahomes builds his hall of fame career.
All right. When he gets his second ring, you know, God willing for all those long suffering
chief fans, uh, you want, I say he closes the distance between himself and the referee huddle
by 50% after his second ring. And if you get your third ring, which is an automatic, you're in
the fucking hall of fame. Um, no questions asked. You'll get in with two, but three, forget about
it. You're, you're automatically in two. You should be probably, I think you'll get it unless
you're Eli Manning, who for some reason, the New York media just never respected ever. I don't
understand it. The entire, his entire career, they were calling for his fucking head. I'll never
understand that. Um, you watch, he's going to start closing the fucking distance. Um,
so all right, let's talk about some more. Let's talk about some fun shit. Shall we, uh,
old freckles here, old freckles. McGillicuddy is going to be doing four shows. Yes. Four shows
in two nights in the absolutely beautiful, gorgeous city, uh, of Vancouver, Canada,
Vancouver, British Columbia, one of the provinces there in Canada. Um,
I'm really looking forward to that. Uh, and, uh, so old freckles, you know,
now that I'm done playing fucking TJ Hooker, I have to fucking go, uh, I gotta go do a bunch
of spots, which I am going to do and, um, make sure I got this hour up and running also because I'm
in, uh, what is it? Santa Inez. Is that how you say it? I'm at the casino this weekend on, uh, the
seventh and, uh, I can't, I'm just very excited to be back into living my life in real time.
Um, which is one of the greatest things ever about it being a standup comedian and doing a
podcast is all of it exists in real time. Like I don't edit this thing unless I say something
that I think some fucking white college chick, you know, who has no sense of humor about herself
and stop trimming her pubes is listening. Then I'm like, all right, I need to fucking take that
out because I don't need the headache. I don't need the fucking headache. I mean, once in a while,
I'll take something out, but for the most part, I don't, all right. Um, I've maintained this for a
long ass fucking time. Like the people in the writer's room, the, the directors, the fucking crew,
um, who else am I leaving out? How hard that they fucking wore the editors,
how hard they fucking work is just, uh, it's the next level. Every time I've been on like a set
and stuff, I'm like, these people are, they're, they're, they're redefining workaholics. Uh,
and so dedicated to making sure if it's not exactly how they want it, they will stay there all
fucking night. It's unbelievable. Um, because I know if I was in the director's chair, I'd be like,
yeah, fuck it, let's go. Let's get the fuck out of here. Bruins are playing Winnipeg, man. I don't
want to miss the, miss the game. My priorities would be all fucked up. Uh, speaking of which,
I missed that game. Bartnick was telling me from the puck off podcast that there was like three
fights. So I signed up for the NHL.com website. So I can go back and watch that game, which I might
today. Um, I know we ended up winning that game. DeBrus got a late one and then, uh, I caught a
little bit of the Minnesota game. We went forward to nothing. So we're, we're cruising right along
here. Um, we're playing a little tougher, which I like, you know, so we won't get bullied out of
a Stanley cup victory like we did last year by the, uh, the slightly above average St. Louis
Blues. I'll never give it up for that team. Um, I'm usually good about it too. I usually
fucking give it up, but Jesus, I'm not bad at the blues. Hey, you know what? That was your game
and they fucking let you play it for whatever reason. Uh, I should get mad at the officiating,
I guess. Um, but that never sounds right. Right. Everybody's like, ah, now you're just fucking whining
about it. But, uh, anyway, um, yeah, so I got, uh, four shows coming up in Vancouver. So, uh,
I'm going to try to knock out a couple of, uh, special pop-up shows where I run my hour here
in Los Angeles. I'll try to keep you posted as to when that's going to happen. Um, I might have some,
uh, some prizes for people who show up, ie shit that I have around my house, gifts that I've gotten
that I have no room for that somebody else might be into because you're a younger person and you
are at the beginning of your journey of accumulating shit. And, uh, as a special bonus to people
listening to my podcast, because there'll be a lot of people that night there that night on
whatever, whatever night I do the show who don't listen to my podcast. Um,
um, here's, here's some sage advice for you about buying shit. Uh, don't when you're younger,
because, uh, it's just shit you have to pack up when you, when you want to move. And if I could,
if I could just go back in my life to young Billy Burr, when I first moved to New York City,
when I had a box of clothes and I don't know what else, if I could just go back to that fucking dude
and every time I bought a shirt, I took a shirt out of my closet and just walked up to a fucking
homeless person, roughly my size and gave it to him. If I didn't keep all of this fucking memorabilia
that I now have like this emotional attachment to that, you know, what is the worst is like,
you're going, I'm going to die someday. And then some poor fucking family members that I have are
going to have to like, you know, sift through all of my shit. Um, I don't know. I am, I am a, uh,
that I would say, don't accumulate shit and go easy with the partying, you know,
you want it, you want to stretch it out. Well, you can just be that person that, you know,
can smoke a stick or have a glass of wine, you know, every once in a while when the moment calls
for it. That's really a fucking skill, uh, to have to be like, yeah, this, this is such a great meal.
I would like a great, you know, well, let's, let's share a bottle of wine with this incredible meal.
I wish I had done that as opposed to just like, you know,
just having my foot to the floor and not checking the oil.
And then you use up, you basically, you have a finite number of fun days is what I'm trying
to tell you as a young person. And if you use them all up, you're going to end up like me
at a Superbowl where you're looking at some of the finest fucking cigars man has ever made
and you cannot partake because you fucking smoked like 20 a month for fucking, you know,
four months in a row. You just can't fucking, I just cannot stress. Like I really admired
that about my wife. She can just fucking do something and then just stop. I mean, I can
stop too, but I know if I start doing it again, it's going to fucking go off the rails.
It's just going to, uh, I don't know. So if I could, if I could just go back again and read and
redo that, I would not have bought so much of the shit. Like now what it is, I have a conscious
thing now that when I go to a major sporting event, like, um, I went to the, uh, the NCAA
college football Superbowl this year. And the only thing I just, my ticket stub is my, uh,
is my souvenir and unfortunately, and when I walked in club soda, Kenny gave it to me via
his phone, he like air dropped it to me and I was like, ah, man. And I didn't even print it out
because I'm not just going to have a ticket on a fucking piece of Xerox paper. So, um,
I actually have no souvenir of that other than like a picture on my camera. And I'm like, you
know, that's kind of, that's the way to do it. So I'm kind of, I'm trying to get away from that.
You know, but I also have, you know, a lovely lady in my life and you know how they are with
the fucking Amazon. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus with the fucking Amazon. Like every fucking week,
just more and more boxes are showing up and it's just like, and like we get into it. I'm like,
what is this? Like, oh, you know, I just saw this thing. I'm like, just like, you know,
get off my case, man. They get like all upset.
Yeah. And it's just like, we just, there's three people in this lovely house that we finally
finished redoing. And you know, that's another thing too, when you have enough fucking bedrooms
for people and everybody, you know, has their own fucking bedroom and everybody's fucking chill and
all that shit. And one of you says, you know what, we need, we need more space. We need to move.
It's like, no, you need a fucking yard sale. That fucking disease of consumption where you just
keep buying more and more and more and more shit. Because I think back in the day, you know,
when I was a younger fella and Nia first moved in with me,
we were living together in a New York city, one bedroom apartment, and it was fine.
You know, it wasn't the biggest thing, but you know,
it was hilarious. Like we would get into fights and there was nowhere to go. You kind of had to
work it out. You go into the bedroom and close the door. I'll tell you what's tough on a fucking
relationship, a studio apartment, you know, because you got to have that fucking thing where
you just, I have to go into another fucking walled in space where you can't see me and just
fucking chill out. And that just does not exist. You know, in New York, you know, I mean, you can go
for a fucking walk, but you know, if it's too cold or too humid out, I don't know. And then you go to
like an air conditioned bar or a heated bar and you just start fucking drinking.
Yeah, but I will tell you that if I can go, you know, I definitely drew a line in the sand where
my garage, like you can, you can still put a vehicle in there. And I really fight that thing
when like shit starts piling up and my wife starts suggesting that we put it in the garage. I just
say, no, we're not putting it in the garage. We're getting rid of it. Or we're getting rid of
something else and whatever that something else is this thing here that you want to put in the
garage is going to go there because we are not going to have a bunch of shit. And as I look
around this fucking room, you know what I see? I see a bunch of shit. I see a bunch of shit we
don't even need. So I saw Jeff Garland do this a long time ago, he would go to his standup shows
and he would just he would give shit away to people. And it was always funny, but like somebody
would it was it was also perfect because people would be psyched. Both ends were psyched. He was
psyched because he was getting rid of it. And then the person was psyched because it was something
that they wanted and obviously could use. So you know, I think one of the greatest things you can
do for people is that for your relatives when you die is number one to have your affairs in order.
All right. And then number two is to not have an entire house of shit
that they then have to go fucking put into a fucking landfill somewhere or try to get rid of it.
Jesus Christ, am I this fucking old? I'm this old now that I don't I have no fucking vices,
and I'm talking about wrapping it up. Jesus Christ, Bill, you're on the 12th hole. Okay.
You're trying to break 80 here. All right, let's let's read some of the
let's read some of the the fucking
advertising. Oh, by the way, have you seen this fucking Bloomberg might join the fucking race
here? I got to tell you for the first time in a long time, that actually made me excited about
politics just as far as the matchup. A billionaire versus a billionaire. You know, they're claiming
they're using their own money, which is fucking hilarious. Because I don't think you became a
billionaire by spending hundreds of millions of dollars to go going for a job that pays for 500
grand a year. All right, unless unless the reason why these lunatic billionaires Donald Trump and
fucking Michael Bloomberg is that his first name? Bloomberg, those two fucking guys.
I think that they want that job because of all of their other businesses and the fucking red
tape that they can get rid of for their businesses, businesses that they can get rid of by being in that
500 grand a year fucking job. That's my only other theory. Because other than that, why would you want
that job? We have never ending wars, we're consistently dropping bombs that fucking innocent
people end up dying. You have to make the decision, do we go in here? Do we go in there? Is that a
group of terrorists? And then it turns out to be a wedding or whatever the fuck happened over there.
And you got to fucking live with that, and you're going to age in fucking dog years, and you're
going to make 500 grand a year, and you're a fucking billionaire. Let me ask you this. Okay,
let's all let's all play armchair fucking detectives here. What is the motivation?
All right. And don't even tell me that you're fucking patriotic, because the way billionaires
run their business has nothing to do with America has to do all with the fucking money.
And then blaming the shareholders. Well, you know, we do live with the shareholders fucking
all right. Oh, this is the thought I had before the Super Bowl really quickly.
Then I was saying to all my buddies, I was like, you know what this fucking game is?
The chiefs versus the fucking 49ers. This is the New England Patriots versus the New York Jets 10
years ago, when Tom Brady, a fucking world leader would come in with an unbelievable offense in a
decent defense, right? And then he would go up against Mark Sanchez, a game manager with the
fucking great defense. Now, I think Roppolo is better than Sanchez. But that's kind of what it was.
So I was just, you know, when I did that thing on Instagram, when I posted,
I was making fun of the sports talk and myself. But like, I really did believe that
yet the 49ers were going to win that they had to they had to be playing with the lead because
you didn't want Roppolo to have to be playing fucking catch up. Although he made some fucking sick
ass throws. It really was they started blitzing them and the 49ers did not adjust. And then that
was it. That was it. That was it. And then I don't know what the fuck what happened with Tyree
kill. He wasn't doing fucking anything the whole game. And then all of a sudden, you know,
that guy bit on the inside move and then fucking my homes through a past that looked like a fucking
punt. I mean, Tyree kill was underneath that I was waiting for him to start waving his arm for a
fair catch. And then all of a sudden they just couldn't stop him. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
I got to stop putting money on the game. Why do you, you know what it is about all of this
whole fucking Super Bowl thing was I predicted the 49ers were going to win. And I was so loving it
like going, I see things. I know what happens. And then I watched it all go away in 10 minutes.
This is just all my fucking ego. I should just shut the fuck up and congratulate the Kansas City
Chiefs, the old AFL chiefs. Plus I have a lot of fucking friends that are huge fucking
Kansas City Chiefs fans. One of the best fucking guys I've met in this business.
All right. The voice of Bob Pogo on efforts for family David Kector.
He's, I gotta, I gotta give him a fucking call, congratulate him, put my prediction and my $200
aside and be a goddamn man about it. You know, that's what this whole fucking thing is about.
It's not about the holding that they let go. It's about the fact that I wanted to be right.
I said something that I wanted to have happened so I can act like I knew things that others didn't.
All right. See that right there? That is age. That is, that is wisdom. It took me fucking a
half an hour and I apologize to chief fans that you had to suffer through all of that.
That's what it was. I said the 49ers were going to win and I bet $200 on it and I predicted
how the game was going to go. And it went that way for 50 minutes. And I thought I was going to
get all these Acolytes, Acolytes, Hemorrhoids. I don't know how to say it. And I thought I was
going to get all of that shit and the chiefs took it away from me. It wasn't about Andy Reed.
That wasn't about the city of Kansas City, Missouri, or maybe it isn't Kansas. It's actually
in both, but that's not where the chiefs play. They play in Missouri. Maybe it wasn't about them.
Maybe it was just about me. Hey, how about this? How about what were the fucking odds in Vegas?
I bet you could bet on this that in five years, the Kansas City Royals would win a world series and
the Kansas City chiefs were going to win a fucking Super Bowl. They got to get that out there. Let's
find another fucking sad sack fucking sports town. All right, what are the odds? Let's pick a good one
here. Man, there's a lot of cities where there's this one sad sack team, but the Pittsburgh Pirate
and the who? I mean, the Steelers are tied for the most Super Bowl wins of all time.
The fucking Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh penguins have won four Stanley cups in the last fucking 30 years.
Can't can't can't jump on them. That doesn't work. What's a fucking sad sack fucking town?
I would have said Houston, but then they went ahead and won it.
I think that that's what they should do with the fucking Houston Astros.
Instead of an asterisk, you play like Morse code after the after their fucking World Series.
I feel bad for fucking Astros fans going nuts, thinking that you want it. And then it comes
along that that fucking happened. Unbelievable. But I will say this is a Patriots fan. At least
you fucking did it. You know, so you don't have to fucking worry about it.
As opposed to being accused of something that goes to a court of law that gets laughed out of
the fucking courtroom, the judge actually gets mad and says, why are you wasting my time with
this fucking horseshit? And then you still get suspended for it. Alright, sorry. Although the
Red Sox, you know, I wouldn't argue on any of them, any of the last four, you know, unless
you're just going to say everybody was doing steroids. I wouldn't argue with you on any of
those shit. I don't give a fuck. All right, zipper crooner, everybody zip.
Hiring is a challenge is challenging. Oh, hang in there millennials. But there's one
place you can go where hiring I love blaming millennials to the point that they now say,
okay, boomer, I just love it because you know what, I'm a Gen Xer and I just fucking I just
sit there just getting both sides fucking yelling at each other. I don't give a fuck. I'm an instigator.
But there's one place you can go where hiring is simple, fast and smart and growing businesses,
businesses, businesses, connect, connect to qualified can and a growing businesses is
connect to qualified candidates. Cafe Alturas, CEO, my favorite name of all time, Dylan,
miskowitz. I love that. Somebody tells you their first name is Dylan. There's no fucking way you
think their last name is miskowitz. Dylan, that's like a cowboy name. One of them, one of them people
out there making it great in the middle of the country. Got themselves a ranch is my son Dylan.
That's his stepbrother Dakota experienced how challenging hiring
can be after unsuccessfully searching for a director of coffee for his organic coffee company.
But then he switched to zip
that was falling to your death saying that that company's name and saw an immediate difference.
And you too can't and you too by signing up for free at ziprecruiter.com slash birds zip recruiter
doesn't spend doesn't depend on candidates finding you it finds them for you and its technology
identifies people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job. So you get
qualified candidates faster. In fact, after posting his job on zip
Dylan Dylan Dakota and ravine
get your your your goddamn red necks back in this this this
what do they call what do they call their what does a redneck call his house
Dylan said he was amazed by how quickly great candidates were applying
and found his new director of coffee in just a few days with results like that. No wonder this
guy's successful. A guy named was Dylan miskowitz the amount of humanity that he's covering right
there. Huh? People in New York City all the way out there in the prairies they like coffee
with results like that it's no wonder four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter
get a quality candidate within the first day zip
the smartest way to hire see why zip recruiter is affected for businesses of all sizes try zip
recruiter for free at our website zip recruiter dot com slash bur that zip recruiter dot com slash
b u r r okay oh i love this company brave all right brave everybody you know
when i think brave i don't think of a soldier or a firefighter i think of a white young a young
white woman who has called herself this overdoing nothing particularly brave
all right brave everybody brave is the web browser reimagine keep your personal information
private as you surf the web you're living in the surveillance economy uh what is that you
might ask every time you download a web page you are not just downloading the content text and
images you are also downloading privacy invading trackers many popular media sites have over 100
trackers on every page you're being profiled and tracked across the web so what you might say
i mean that is a zen way to look at it i don't know i'm not running for anything uh your digital
profile includes information about you such as your search and watch history your personal beliefs
or even your location everywhere you've been and even your current gps coordinates i don't get
with all the fucking women out there with legit stalkers how that this information is like
like readily available for someone to hack into and find out where somebody is it's just
fucking beyond me thank god there's somebody trying to do something about these digital
profiles allow companies you have never heard of to maintain intimate profiles about you and
everyone you know brave stops data grabbing trackers and creepy ads from following you
across the web which allows you to browse up to six times faster than with other browsers
here's an apparent important fact about us brave isn't anti ads brave is anti tracking brave users
can choose to opt in to brave ads a privacy respecting ad network run by brave brave never
sees your personal data or behavior let alone sells that information for profit and you'll
never see an ad from brave unless you explicitly choose to participate participate uh the with
brave ads you can earn rewards for any ad you choose to view that's right out of the box brave
will block ads and trackers but you can choose whether you want to see the ads how often they
appear and get rewarded for your attention if you click on one wait a minute you get rewarded
for attention if you click on one okay so this is basically a vip relationship with you and ad
companies now i thought you were in business to stop these guys you're now in bed with them
i don't get what's going on here how does brave make money all right there we go if you
choose to opt in to brave ads brave takes a cut of the advertising spend whatever you choose to
view an ad that's how brave earns money and keeps the browser free all right well there you go
it's better than what you got right now i guess it takes less than 60 seconds to switch to brave
important import your bookmarks with one click and start enjoying a better internet listeners
of the mm podcast can easily switch to brave today or go to brave.com slash burr and download brave
today that's brave.com slash burr and switch today today today today today all right policy genius
all right policy genius everybody you know the year 2020 shows up a lot in science fiction
a lot of people predicted that by now we'd be teleporting to work or living on mars
some people predicted that the 49ers are going to win and a lot of those
predictions were wrong the truth is we will always get the future wrong which is why we
need to get life insurance right that's where policy genius can help policy genius makes finding
the right life insurance a breeze in minutes you can compare quotes from the top insurers to find
that your best price you could save $1,500 a year by using policy genius to compare life
insurance policy policies once you apply the policy genius team will handle all the paperwork
and red tape and policy genius doesn't just make life insurance easy they can also help you find
the right home in auto insurance or disability insurance so if your science fiction dreams
for 2020 still haven't become science-backed don't get discouraged get life insurance it takes get
life insurance it takes just a few minutes to find your best price and apply at policygenius.com
policy genius will always get the future wrong but get life insurance right
um all right but i'm gonna die in the future
i'm such a cunt don't listen to me all right let's get to some of the uh some of the uh
some of the uh the questions here for the this is the one that i wanted to avoid
because i've been having a great time for breakfast i've been sauteing spinach with garlic
and uh i will tell you this eating way more vegetables and way less meat um i afterwards
i definitely feel a lot lighter i just what i just don't understand is why the united states
government does not get involved well i know i because they're all grossly underpaid and they
get paid off by these cunts in the food industry why is it so fucking hard
and they're all in bed i think they're all in fucking bed with people who put out medicines
and they want you to fucking they want they don't want you to be dead because they can
they stop making money off you they want it they want you to be sick and need their medicine to
stay alive and i think that there's a two-handed thing going on with the food industry and the
fucking pharmaceutical companies i just don't know because explain to me with all of this
fucking technology why it is so fucking difficult to find out whether an egg is good for me or bad
for me all right game changers doc now for those of you who missed the last couple of episodes
i watched this fucking documentary on netflix all right and it was showing all these amazing
things about that if you just stopped eating meat and all of this stuff and you know the usual
horseshit you know we don't have fucking carnivore teeth and this guy ate fucking spinach all week
and this guy had fucking red meat and look at his fucking uh cholesterol and look at this
and it always goes out to the fucking you know the non-meat eaters right so hey here's somebody
gonna say so dear billy raddish face i bet you're getting lots of love or hate about being interested
in a more of a plant-based diet i am i don't know what to believe the impossible burger i am not
eating that anymore i'm i'm fucking i'm not fucking with that thing i i am a guinea pig i'm gonna let
other people be a guinea pig and they're gonna start getting if they start lactating then i know i
made the right decision if i die and they don't then i know that they were right uh anyway i was
urged to watch that documentary too and after all these years i think i'm settling on the fact
that eggs are in fact healthy once they said eating an egg once they said eating an egg is
like smoking a cigarette i knew something was fishy ah look at you with your little pun there
i felt more like a catholic priest painting an image of hell to scare parishioners than a doctor
with facts um a few months later i saw the guy behind the documentary james wilk and a gentleman
by the name of chris krestner on joe rogan's podcast and this is why joe rogan's podcast
is the best fucking podcast in the world if you just want unfiltered information for you to then
digest and process and make up your own fucking mind yourself uh because everything else is so
fucking perverted and skewed um i'm gonna watch this episode uh krestner was at one point of vegan
but now follows a diet based on more up-to-date research that has nuances as opposed to dogmatic
views the debate is excellent wilks does a great job defending some of his points but in the end
fails to show any proof that vegans are healthier i appreciate krestner and rogan's breaking down
the differences between someone who eats quality meats and vegetables and someone who eats any
meats and fried foods i.e. your body digests meats differently if it's being combined with a plate of
french fries as opposed to spinach yeah i've always heard that like a starch with meat is is bad
red meat particularly uh but most research in the past did you read a pill or did somebody say
that to you and you took it for law because you don't want to read up on it my problem is when
you try to try to get the information um like trying to get to the truth it's because there's
so many just fucking lies and people just fucking just trying to sell you on whatever the fuck
there's there's something like food is literally it's like it's like pop music
and every year there's a new boy band that they're shoving down your fucking throat
you know kale right kale for a couple years oh oh oh oh oh oh right there we're out there
baby right then all the girls were screaming oh you got to eat kale
and now the new one who knocked them off the charts the impossible burger right
now all of a sudden they're out there the big pouty fucking lips in their leather jacket so you
know that they're tough too right anyway um i appreciate crester and rogan breaking down
the difference but bubba bubba um i.e your body digests meet differently if it's combined with
the plate of french fries as opposed to spinach but most research in the past 40 some odd years
does not take these things into consideration next it's like politics they do the same thing
they leave out shit uh next time you're taking a bath and need some some small talk with a friend
call joe for more details on this or just watch it yourself now i'm not going to bug him i'll
watch it and then you know he'll get another hit it'll make it'll make some more fucking money
that's what you do you know burden a friend he was nice enough to interview these fucking people
and post a video on it instead i'm gonna call him up and make him relive what he already did why the
fuck would i do that um because bubble baths can get lonely maybe that's why
um all right dnc did not communicate what is that democratic national committee
what is that what is that what i thought i thought i always took that as a democratic party
democratic national convention that's what it is hey bill you saw that the dnc is changing
its rules to make it so bloomberg can get into the debates uh months after changing them to
make it impossible for tulsi or yang to get in uh how do you i don't i really i'm kind of glad i
don't know what any of this means because if i knew what this means then i would just be frustrated
and angry like you as opposed to just ignorant over here trying to figure out if brussel sprouts
is the way for me to live an extra six months or not uh how do you have to be how dumb do you have
to be to not realize the fixes in they keep moving the goalposts i have friends who are still following
this impeachment bullshit i know i just don't understand people wasting their time with that
like he's actually going to get impeached um can you bet on that in vegas how much money do i have
to make to earn a dollar that he isn't a billion to make a dollar um while the democrats smother
bernie was shit talk hillary trashes him for no reason i know hell hath no fury like a fucking
woman who thought she was going to be president scorned uh like hillary trashes him for no reason
like a shitty aunt who stirs up problems in the family for no reason the establishment would
rather trump stay in even if they hate him god forbid the country vote in two back-to-back
presidents that weren't handpicked by the heads of the established parties uh if you bring up all
this fuckery with anyone who calls themselves a democrat they start telling you that you're
stumping for trump is there a proper way to explain to someone they're being had hey i think i
represent a lot of voters out there in that i only vote when it's for the president which is
really a horrible thing to do um i just find it also overwhelmingly depressing you know i used
to hang in there and i would always vote for the bernie sanders and the uh who is that guy there
that fucking everybody blamed for fucking bush getting in um rather than the fact that algor was
completely outside his own body the entire time he was running um i don't know i would always vote
for those guys and ross peros and these guys who were actually saying what the fuck was going on
and that was corrupt and all that and people always say it's a waste of a vote it's like you
gotta vote for the corrupt guy of your party that's playing the game i would love to hear the argument
for that um and i would also love to hear the argument for no holds barred capitalism and the
direction that it's led us in and how everybody's up so many people are upside down in their houses
and i don't know who they're building all these luxury high rise apartments for i don't understand
who has these fucking money and that how you then sell them to people in from china and russia who
were trying to wash their money like i don't i don't understand any of it um that's why i just
sort of tapped out and i'm trying to just sort of be a you know on a local level trying to just
shop at local businesses you know going to skid row and dropping off shit rather than taking it to
fucking goodwill i mean i don't know what else to do if anybody has a suggestion uh i'm up for it not
saying i'm going to do it but i could read it on the podcast and then communicate it to people
in money to try and raise money for public schools in your area so people still have a chance
the same chance my parents had when they had a bunch of kids to send them to school for free well
it's their tax dollars grades one through twelve um i don't know all right advice cash job problems
hey billy bad ass actor copper uh copper i get it nice i'm a carpenter from newfoundland and work
and work 50 plus hours a week for cash on the weekends 50 plus hours a week
for a cash on the weekends occasionally with one of my old employers what happened to the last
half of that sentence i'll never know i've been working for cash with this company for about
two years now and haven't had an issue with payment up to this point work is slow right now
and he informed me the other day that he could not pay me the money he owes me seven hundred dollars
he said he could pay me in gas cards or he could buy tools from home depot and pay me with those
because he can include that in the company expense the problem with this is that my girlfriend of
four years is now pissed off that i'm not getting paid i couldn't care less as long as i get something
for my work and i love two tools so should i stand up to my old employer and tell him he has to pay
me in cash or should i tell my girlfriend to back off and mind her own business uh thanks
thanks love the podcast and as always go fuck yourself
ps you should really consider coming to newfoundland to do a show i think i did him a number of years
ago maybe i went to halifax gaffigan was scheduled to come down here but we had a record snowfall and
he couldn't make it 95 centimeters in one day not bad haha i don't even know what how much that is
but let's let's look that up so i can actually answer this question even though this has nothing
to do with it i am now intrigued 95 centimeters two inches uh 37 inches you had three feet one
inch plus of snow all right um well let me ask you this dude how the fuck are you gonna pay your rent
if you don't have legal tender it's not like the old days where you can just trade come into town
with some eggs and a yak and trade that for your fuck to your landlord um you must have enough
cash to pay your rent if you have enough cash to pay your rent um i kind of like a man that's still
around to tell that it will actually tell the woman in his life to back off and mind her own
business although if she lives with you it is kind of her business so i don't know where to go on
that i'm just it's just great to hear a guy standing up to a woman at some point by the way
i i just want to commend all the feminist groups that fucking were shitting all over
johnny depp for now admitting that you maybe jumped the gun and just supported somebody
with little to no evidence just because like you they also had a vagina i want to thank all of you
guys for then writing your wrongs and being big enough people to to admit that you were wrong now
i've done it on this podcast well i realized that my petty shit about the officiating in the super
bowl really came down to me and my ego and wanting to be right about my prediction now when you're a
feminist your super bowl is arguments between men and women and you know what you got this one wrong
it looks like you know where's all the retraction ladies that'll never happen all right screen time
dear billy guardian i agree with your stance with you stance on screen time for kids i'm not naive
enough to think that having some idea how to work technology is good for a kid just like video games
weren't as bad as parents in the 80s thought they'd be i i don't know what the fuck i just read i'm
going to read this word for it i agree with you stance on screen time for kids i'm not naive enough
to think that having some idea how to work technology is good for a kid just like video games weren't
as bad as parents in the 80s thought they'd be all right this is what happens when you have too
much screen time this is how you put together sentences the problem i am having is with my wife
she doesn't seem interested in playing with our child one-on-one as much as i do and it's disheartening
she's always turning to netflix to babysit while she sits there on her phone
yeah you're dealing with a fucking screen addict i think that that's a new thing that they haven't
diagnosed yet our marriage is a bit strained for this and other reasons i'm fairly convinced
she's cheating on me oh left turn but i'm compartmentalizing this from the parenting
from parenting to try and be fair if we get divorced i won't be there to see what's going on
and that bothers me in the meantime i wish there was some way to make her understand that the
stimulant stimulation our kid gets from staring at screens while sitting five feet in front of
her mother on the floor is not the same as sitting across my child and talking and teaching
any advice on how to get the message across yeah there's studies out there that you know
on the internet that somebody gave me um i would just google that and then show the
adverse effects of it especially with the developing mind um i am i am huge huge huge on on like we
barely let our kid watch tv now um we we never really let it get too out of hand and the more
i read about it we just sort of stopped doing it and she had her favorite shows that she watches
and she you know she whined about it for like a week and a half and then you know they're so young
they forget about it and now we um you know she draws she colors you know she uh takes french
classes she actually understands french when the lady talks to her it's fucking amazing
um we do puzzles we ride bikes you know she knows how to she's learned almost totally knows
how to swim now uh i think all of that stuff you know as much as you're worried that they're
going to get behind and computers of the future and all of that shit with the skills that they're
learning not being involved in this stuff they're gonna be fine um and there has to be you know
people who are aware of this stuff and they also know that computers is here to stay
there also has to be some sort of um quality ways to have screen time um that involves teaching
and not like because i wasn't just noticing like when my kid would be watching tv and i'd be calling
her and calling her and calling her and calling i have to say it like five times they just get
like fucking zoned out um it's not good and i watched a ton of tv and i think i have you know
some sort of side effect from that i mean lack of ability to focus or whatever i don't know
i feel bad for you dude you're in a real tough position because um if you were a woman you could
go to court and present all of that and you would you would win custody but they do not treat guys
fairly in those cases whatsoever so um i would uh yeah that's a that's a fucking tough one man
it's time to open that dialogue that when you're in a relationship with a woman and the woman is
doing shit that's detrimental to your kid like there has to be avenues for a man to
fucking turn to and there just really isn't and the uh blind support that women have for other
women for the most part straight across the board is really detrimental to the kid um
you know that that whole fucking philosophy that believe women is is like so horrendously flawed
because if to to say that you're just saying that then that men are flawed and women aren't if
you're just straight across the board gonna do that and then in bully and intimidate people
by threatening to take away their careers unless they agree with you it's just fucking
it's just not a good thing it's not an adult thing it's not a mature way to go about solving
a fucking problem and i feel like emotions have come down enough where you know you can actually
maybe start talking about that shit but i feel really bad for you dude because i've had disagreements
with my wife about that stuff and people are flawed as am i and like we we had this amazing
breakthrough with my anger now like my my kid is like my fucking life coach now she literally
sits there be like dad dad dad dad uh don't yell it's gotta be okay she literally says that to me
and i crack up laughing and i go you're right it is i'm sorry and then she laughs and i've made
this major breakthrough in my family tree of dysfunction where now my anger that i learned
or whatever is open for discussion and we can laugh about it my kid is not even remotely
afraid of me or anything all the shit that i had growing up
you know with the adults in my life has completely imploded and it's all on the table now i still
have the anger issues that i have to work through but like the fact that right as i get going
she says you know dad dad don't yell don't yell and i just i just stop now
you know i just you know i can't there's no i there's just no way i can't continue when i hear
that voice say that so it's this weird thing where i still now instead of snapping i start to snap
and if i really feel that i have to get it out of me i just leave the house
and i just go out into the garage and i just go play drums or or something i almost need to have
like the frank murphy heavy bag to hit it sometimes but um you know it's been this amazing
you know of all the the gifts that becoming a dad has been for me the fact that she's actually
helping the part of myself that i hate the most uh has has just been this this ridiculous cherry
on top so um anyway now you know where the fuck i'm going with those uh all right sober activity
all right captain billy how about making one of those ships in a bottle
if i ever taken the time to thank you guys for making me laugh too because you really do all
right i know i try to do it with you but the fact that i get it back is fucking great all right
imagine you with a monocle on carefully lining up the mass sales or whatever you call them
wife calls you from the house dinner is ready you rest your tools eagerly awaiting the next time
you're one on one with tranquility really relaxing right yeah what is with that shit don't you fucking
i feel like the you just put the bottle together right you know after you build the
fucking ship but what do you have to do you got to have like tweezers and all of that type of thing
it really is like you know the super bowl of patience if they actually take little pieces
but it doesn't make any sense how would you get the mast in there without it being creased i think
it's like the bottom of the bottle fucking twists off um i don't know you know it's hilarious is that
back in the day that probably got a guy laid oh my god he will be a such a patient partner
all right that's the podcast congratulations to the kansas city chiefs sorry about the fucking
whining about the officiating a little bit there um that really came down to the fact that i had
money on the fucking 49ers and i wanted to be right that's all it was because in reality as a
patriot's fan i should be excited that they didn't join us um in the family of six oh that would have
been 666 and all the jesus freaks would have come out and said that the nfl is fucking evil you know
because it's 666 rather than the fact that they look the other way and all the fucking brain damage
their employees have gotten over the years it's not that it's the number six six six the number of
the beast all right that's it that's the podcast go fuck yourselves uh i have fun there in kansas
city eat all the barbecue you want god damn it you guys deserved it uh it was just a hell of a game
and an undeniable championship by the kansas city chiefs they went down in every fucking playoff game
they played and they just came roaring back so uh enjoy the hockey enjoy the fucking hoop enjoy the
college basketball and all the other shit as we wait for baseball season to start everybody uh
i'll check in on you on thursday