Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 3-15-21

Episode Date: March 15, 2021

Bill rambles about CEO's, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and vibe music.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, uh, March 15th. What's going on? How are you? How's it going? Oh, Billy Freckles jamming too much into one friggin' day, knocking out the podcast here, and then I'm going to go run out and do a spot, because I got that, um, I got that tour coming up, that one-shot tour of, uh, I'm doing from somebody's fucking garage out here in California. That's going to be broadcasted to New Zealand and Australia. I'm very excited about that, but I'm also very excited to not bomb on it. So I have to make sure I do a bunch of spots and get ready for the thing. And overall, it's been a positive response that this is

what I'm doing, but still, there's always like negative people like, girl, why don't you make it available for fucking everybody? It's just like, do you really mean, that's, isn't that, why don't you, that's not what you're saying. What you're really saying is why don't you make it available for me, because you wouldn't give a fuck if somebody in Sri Lanka, it's one of my favorite fucking, just countries to pull out of nowhere, um, you don't give a shit whether they can see the show or not, do you? It's always somebody who's got a fucking complaint and coming from someone who complains for a living, you know, I probably got a lot of nerve, whatever, I'm getting ready to do this. So I'm going

to do a spot tonight and I got some shit that I want to work out. Um, I'm fucking tired because they did the stupid, um, was the time change thing fucking moves forward. It's just the worst. I already woke up early cause I had a bunch of shit I had to do today, but I knocked everything out. Everything's on the other side. I'm very happy about that. The Celtics, um, did their thing against Houston, beat the shit out of them the way they should have like 130 to fucking, I don't know, 108 or something like that. Dropped 130 points on them. I missed the game. I'm very happy about that. Uh, went out on a date with my lovely wife on Saturday night. Say, don't why don't you come over on say, um, we went

out and got some dinner, dinner and, uh, you know, that's a big thing now. You can eat outside. If you need outside is more and more people are getting vaccinated. I just, I love all the fucking misinformation out there, man. Jesus Christ. Everybody just flying around. You know, I'm all over the map right now. Sorry people. I had a long fucking day. Um, I gotta make sure I don't forget to say this, but, uh, Marvin Hagler, marvelous Marvin Hagler, Hagler unfortunately passed away and, um, he, he was my favorite boxer when I was growing up. And I absolutely loved that middleweight division. Um, Hagler, Hearns, Durand and Leonard. I mean, you just, you had to be there. And then they had Alexis are way out. They had

all of these other divisions just with all these champs. You know what I mean? It was pre Tyson. So Larry Holmes was the heavyweight champ. And you know, as much as he was knocking dudes out, like people came in, you're like, what's going to happen here? Is he going to win? Is he going to lose? It wasn't like when Tyson came in, Tyson's going to fucking kill him. But that middleweight division and they all fought each other, you know, a lot of them multiple times. I know, uh, uh, Leonard fought Durand twice, Leonard fought fucking Hearns twice, um, fought Hagler once and Hagler retired after that. But like Marvin Hagler was just, he was just my favorite. You know, he was out of Brockton, Massachusetts.

And, uh, I loved the shaved head. I just thought he was a badass, you know, and, um, I was so upset that he passed away only 66 years old. And, um, the greatest fight that I saw in the 80s was him versus, uh, Tommy Hearns. I'll never forget that. And I believe there was a kid I went to high school with that went to that fight. Um, and it was just people were just standing up for us at two and a half rounds, got into round three and then that was it. And, uh, what I loved about Tommy Hearns was he wanted to mix it up. He was this incredible fighter where he was so much taller. So he really could have stayed on the outside if he wanted to. And one of the most brutal knockouts I ever fucking saw was when

Hearns knocked out Durand. Jesus Christ. I thought he fucking killed, he hit him and Durand just went straight down. Um, but you could kind of draw him into a fight. And I felt like, uh, that's what Hagler did in that. I know I did just, I just talked about this and maybe I talked about it on the Tyson podcast or whatever, but, um, rest in peace to him, man. Um, an absolute, just a champ, total class act. And, um, I also thought the way that he left, he never, he never came back, you know, came back years later and you had to watch some, you know, you know, when somebody, when fighters come back and they're too fucking old and you just like, oh man, you know, nobody likes seeing that. And you don't want to see

somebody you love come back and take a beating. His last fight was an epic fight. Um, I loved him too much to be, uh, not biased on it. I mean, I thought he wanted, um, but it was a super, super close fight. And, um, I don't know. I really think in a lot of ways that the judges maybe were like, well, if we give it to Leonard Hagler is going to want to rematch and we can all get fucking paid again. The filthy game of boxing. Who knows. But, um, so anyways, he, he passed away and I was reading all these great comments about him. And then some fucking idiots like, oh, he took the vaccine. That's why he died. Like literally everything is about that shit now. And somebody told me, you know, I'm going to try to get the shot tomorrow, the first one,

right? And the, somebody said the, uh, the CEO of Pfizer hasn't fucking taken it yet. And then I look it up going on because now I got nervous and I look it up. It's like, yeah, we don't want to jump the line. All right. Now look, our conspiracy theorist too, but like, um, if you really think that they're going to try to kill all of us with this, just think about that. Just think about that. And then they're going to be alive. And there's going to be what? Six billion dead bodies. Like the fucking disease that that would, who's going to bury all of them? You think these fucking Illuminati rich people know how to drive a bulldozer and start digging fucking holes? All right. As much as they don't like us, they need us alive to do all this

shit that they don't want to do. So I don't think they would just randomly just start killing people. Um, and I, I'm not buying, I don't buy in any of these stupid fucking internet poor shit anymore. Anything on the fucking internet could just, I don't, I don't give a fucking anymore. Right. I don't give a shit. So I'm going to do it. I'll be the guinea pig for you guys. So, um, anyway, I go out with my, my lovely wife on Saturday night. Right. And, uh, you know, we're sitting out on the street, went to this place right off on Ventura Boulevard, um, which really doesn't mean anything in LA because all of the streets just go for fucking nine zillion miles. And, uh, like you can get off, you can get off of your street,

get on the highway, and then drive 20 miles, get off the highway, and all of a sudden cross and be like, Oh, they got, you know, they got a mainstream down here too. And it's the same one. It's fucking long, long ass fucking roads out here. So anyway, we're on off of Ventura Boulevard. And it was, uh, Saturday night. So there was these, these goddamn punk kids out there with their loud cars. Jesus Christ. There is a fucking epidemic epidemic of fucking cars that are not that fast with really loud exhausts. I was on the highway the other night, this fucking guy in like a Dodge Charger or something. The fucking noise this guy was making. And I was driving 61 miles an hour because I kept looking down. He went by me. Fuck. And I'm just, it looked like he was going 68.

And I could hear his car and see his car for like another three minutes. I just kept laughing to my wife going, he's right there. That car making all that noise. The one that went by that sounded like a fucking, you know, an F 18. And I'm supposed to be like, wow, you got a fast car, sir. I can still see you. Um, I don't know what that is about. I, when I was a kid, if a car was like loud, it meant it had horsepower and it would go flying by and it would scare the shit out of you. And then you're like, where the hell is it? Now it's just, I don't know, they, they have these, they make, they make these, I don't know, these exhaust systems make it sound like your car is fast. So we were, um, we were sitting outside to eat and these fucking kids just kept coming by.

It was kind of funny because it was really fucking up the meal. And that really is, you know, it's what you get when you eat outside. So I definitely saw the humor in it, but, uh, I saw the humor, but I did not see the speed. So any of you youngsters out there want to tell me what, what is that about? I'm going to look that shit up right now. There's something going on. All right, let me see here right now. Oh, first of all, here's this, this, the Pfizer, Pfizer CEO, Albert Borla said he hasn't received his company's COVID vaccine shot yet, telling CNBC that he and the other executives will not cut the line. The vaccine, which Pfizer developed in partnership with the German based bio and tech is the first to be authorized for emergency use,

uh, to prevent COVID-19. Um, he hasn't got the vaccine yet. Bill Gates, Pfizer plan, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure if I looked at all the comments, everybody has figured it out from their fucking one bedroom apartment, but I'm not going to read those things. I'm going to, I'm going to get it. Fuck it. All right. Fuck it. Fuck it. Cause if they are trying to kill everybody, uh, I'm going to be the first in line for them to do it. Cause I don't want to be like, I don't want to live in the world after that. And then you got to sit there and act like it didn't happen. And all rights have been taken away. Are you having your own thoughts? Maybe you need the vaccine. You need to be reeducated. Um, all right. Does a loud

exhaust mean it's faster? A lot of exhausts can sometimes increase engine power. Your car may sound nicer. This is subjective by the way, but louder exhaust is don't necessarily translate into more power. Yeah. That's, that's what I'm seeing out there. I mean, I would think that yeah, horsepower does, you know, I've never understood how getting a better exhaust system. I've read up on it. I just still don't get it. I don't understand how it can give you a couple extra horses, but, um, at the end of the day, I always thought it was about the engine and then fucking, you know, power to weight ratio was the big thing. I know that the exhaust system

is like a part of it, but I got to tell you the amount of loud ass fucking cars that are going nowhere, fucking nowhere. Um, I wonder what those, because there is something like, uh, I do find fascinated about that shit. Cause what I've really learned about myself is I am a I'm an introvert. Um, despite my job, I like when I just, you know, fuck off. That's my, you know, not fuck off. It's just sort of like, I like being alone. And when I go in some place, I don't need everybody to know that I'm there. So when I see extroverts, I find them fascinating. And the only thing better than one extrovert is a bunch of them all trying to outdo each other. So they all have these loud cars. So you just sit there looking at it. And I always just wonder

what do they think that everybody else is thinking? Do they think like, wow, man, that guy is cool. Because what always ends up happening is when they, after they go by, is everybody just looks and just laughs like that I'll fucking stupid it is. So anyway, we were sitting there and, um, you know, it's the usual day you go on with the woman. You know, once you're in a relationship, um, oh my God, what's his face? Did a fucking hilarious bit on this bread? Aren't stood a bit on this. And I lived his bit where when you sit down with the woman and they do this thing where they go, you know, I can't decide if between the burger or the fish, it's like, I love both of them. I just can't decide what are you going to get?

Well, obviously I'm going to order one of those two things, whatever you don't get. And, you know, and then afterwards she's like, how'd you like the fish? I was like, I didn't, you know, I just didn't, I wasn't into it. The burger was all right. And she was just like, I was like, but you know, I, you know, I know you want to both those say orders, just you didn't have to do that. It's like, I know I don't, I know I don't, but happy wife, happy life. So I do it. I just fucking do, I know I don't have to, but I do enough other shit that causes fucking bumps in the road, right? Like I had this fucking gig that I had to do

this weekend. And I just had a lot of anxiety about, I ended up having fun on the gig, but it's just like, you know, it's just, it's one of those things that not necessarily I ever thought I would be doing. I didn't think that that was a part of show business that I would be in. And I just always find that when I do gigs like that, those are the gigs where I end up nowadays you end up, you know, you know, it's just, I don't know, it's just stupid. It's just, I don't understand it. I don't understand. I guess I get it. I just don't understand why everybody fucking tolerates it. I don't want to get into it. I don't want to get into it, but I just knew, I knew what the fuck I was walking into. So I was just going, oh, Jesus Christ, what, what, what, what the fuck is going

to happen on this one? Just one of those gigs, right? So I was kind of half there. So I figured if I ordered both things that she wanted, my weird mood would sort of save the dinner, which it didn't. And then to add to it, you had this fucking cars driving by. I saw one of them was fucking hilarious. This fucking weak ass car. And it actually had a dent in the rear quarter panel. So more of the exhaust was showing and where the noise was was right where the dent was, which was funny too, because I was picturing him making all this noise and then some old guy going, right, fucking car and kicking it right there. Speaking of which, I had my truck worked on. I've been having this power steering leak and we thought we fixed it.

I can't say we the guy did did a fucking great job. I got new shocks on it, man. It was running great. And I looked under it. I was all excited to see it bone dry under my truck. And then there was just one little leak. So you might have to replace something else. But it was kind of cool, though, there was some sort of bearings or something like that in the steering column. I don't know. It's like part of the steering. What do they call it? The assembly. And it was just cool. He was holding them showing me that they were worn out. And all I could just think is like, because my truck is 53 years old this month, because I looked at the VIN number was put together in Toronto, Ontario in March of 1968. Right. So I was like, I was just looking at him the same way I was looking

at that sewer pipe from the front of my house that was put in, you know, 100 fucking years ago, almost. And just I love seeing that shit. Like somebody put that together. You know, a month before Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy, when somebody put that in, that was right at the end of that's how fucking long ago that was. And there it is. He's holding it in his hand like it's like a time capsule. I really think that that shit's cool. I was also bummed out that I didn't end up fucking manning up and changing the shocks myself because I don't even I have such an old truck like it doesn't have any struts or anything like that. And so it was just literally a, you know, a bolt on top and on the bottom, but I don't have jack stands and shit

or the fucking time to do all of that stuff. But I've, that was one of those ones where I was just like, never worked on a suspension. I kind of psyched myself out. I'm like, I wonder what that spring doesn't the spring come flying off? If you take off the shock, or does it not? There's a whole trick to that thing. And if that thing comes flying out, it could take your fucking head off or something. I was just like, all right, you know what, I think I'm just going to stick to being a goddamn comedian here. So, but I've been having that leak for a while. So it was fun for a moment before I realized the leak was still going, but we're going to take care of it this week, or this guy's going to take care of fun, a great mechanic out here. So I'm very

excited about that. So anyway, what do you think those loud car kids are going to do someday when just like electric cars, they just get sick of losing to beta people. All the loud alphas are sick of losing to beta people in their fucking like as loud as those cars are, that little fucking ice cube book and car that BMW makes. Do you know that's the fastest they car? Last I checked, the fastest car they have zero to 60 is that car. Then after that, it becomes the sixth series. But it's just fucking hilarious to me that all those cars make all of that fucking noise and there's this little ice cube, like a picnic basket in the back. It really is. If you're looking for fucking speed, I mean, that really is where it's at. Now, I don't know about top end, they always

talk about, well, once past a certain, there's always some ridiculous number two. Well, you know, once past 85, fucking blah, blah, blah, it's like, you're on the road. I mean, I guess if you go out to a track, that makes sense. But I don't know, I find all that shit fascinating. And I do know that F1 and MotoGP are starting soon. So I am getting excited about that, but I'm going down the fucking rabbit hole right now. I've kind of let my French studies slide. I'm letting, you know, haven't been playing too much drums. And I'm just locking in to being able to get this instrument stuff. And I've been on the simulator. I've been doing holding patterns and the, you know, yesterday I did my first approach, which is I'm not going to bore you with everything,

but it's fucking wild. Where you're just using all of these VORs, using two VORs, I think it's the same time. And flying the radial in whatever the fucking terminology is, I'm learning all of this stuff. And as you get to each level of air, just going down another 2,000 feet, and then when you come out of the clouds and there's the fucking runway, it's the greatest feeling ever. It's fucking amazing. And it's all starting to make sense. So I'm very excited about that. I've just been having problems with my X-Plane 11 that I've been using. I need to recalibrate the whatever the fuck you call it, the throttle and all of that shit. I gotta have some nerd come over here and help me out because I cannot figure out how to use the HSI. If anybody

knows how to do that or has like a fucking, you know, I'm trying to track VORs and do stuff like that and do holding patterns. If anybody's a pilot knows how to do that on the X-Plane 11 or has a demonstration video, because I can't find one. I would appreciate that. All right. And with that, let's do a little bit of the advertising here. Oh, wait, wait. Before I get into that, I've been watching another Philip Seymour Hoffman movie, which I'm having a hard time getting through because it is just gut wrenching to watch what this character's doing. It's called Owning Mahoney. I don't know if I talked about this yet, but good Lord. I'm like, I've always such a huge Philip Seymour Hoffman fan, but now

that I'm really just sort of, I can't believe how many movies he did. I thought I saw most of his work. I barely saw any of it. He was just so fucking great. And I was so satisfied with what I saw. I felt like I had seen all of his stuff. But the character said he, I can tell you this, if he's starring in a movie, whatever character he's playing, it is going to be a bumpy fucking ride. I'm a half hour into this movie, and I've had to watch it in 10-minute increments because I just watched that Love Liza movie. And it's just like, oh God, I don't know if I can watch him do this, another one of these guys, man, like just watching somebody just so fucking up their life. And the way he plays it, it's just so fucking real. You got to look away. You know,

SNL did that whole bit about women late at night watching True Crime, and my wife sent me that, thought it was the funniest fucking thing because that's what she does the other night. Oh my God, she had me watching this fucking thing with this guy, like he had a side chick, and he convinced the side chick to kill his wife. And then she was so fucking enamored with him. She actually got arrested, and he was still able to maintain control over her that she went to jail, and he kept writing her letters saying that she was going to get out, and blah, blah, blah, blah, and she just kept believing him. Until finally she just woke up 10 years into a sentence, like what in the fuck? And eventually they got this guy, but it was so fucking disturbing

to watch right before you go to bed. It's just like, can we just like watch the sports center like back in the day, and I would sit there. You can always tell, I think, well, not tell, I mean, you know, because you're watching the show, but like, I always love like when, when the husband is involved with the missing woman, when they do that fucking TV interview, just the lack of sadness in their eyes and in their face, going, well, you know, she's been missing since Friday, and we are all very concerned, we just want to get her back. And just looking at it, he's just like, all right, that guy's, this guy's somehow connected. He is not even remotely emotionally attached to what the fuck

he's saying. But then party is like, oh my, you know, going through God forbid going through something like that, like how are you emotionally attached to anything? You must just be fucking stunned. And then the reporter shows up, it's got to be so surreal. I don't know. But I will tell you, there's been a few times I've been on the, watching the local news and they interview somebody, and I've said to my wife, go, I think that person has something to do with it. And I've never been right. So don't listen to me. All right, let's do some reads here for the week. For the week here, starting over again. Oh my God, it's St. Patrick's Day, everybody. My bookie is here and the madness has finally begun. Shoot your shot to score big on the nonstop action with my bookie. Select the

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somebody took me up and let me take the controls for a little bit just to check it out. That's like the one from Magnum PI, the updated version where it has no tail rotor. It actually creates a vacuum. It sucks air into the tail boom that then shoots down. And then there's this thing that moves on the back that controls the amount of air coming out, which controls the amount of thrust. So rather than the tail rotor adjusting the angle of attack, it's more the amount of air that's coming out. So that really fascinates the hell out of me. And I never even asked him if that eliminates... Oh, let me... I can answer it right now. Let's see. This is really a big aviation nerd thing right now. Does Notar eliminate LTE? LTE not working? What the fuck? Notar, wait, Notar

system. It's not answering this for me. Why? Eliminate, I don't have to write in the capitals. Come on, man. Helicopter, come on. Notar, technology, anti-torque system eliminates all of the mechanical problems you could possibly have. The air is expelled through the two slots. Okay, I know how it works, but does that... loss of Notar effectiveness? Well, it doesn't. A subreddit for helicopter industry professionals I guess it doesn't. I guess it doesn't. LTE's loss of tail rotor effectiveness. Sorry. All right, let's get into some questions here for the week, everybody. Best Vibe Music Source. What's up, big old Billy bitch tits? Dude, I'm fucking crushing this diet,

by the way. What is today? March what? Well, I'm recording on the 14th. Today's the 15th. I've been basically going veggie the entire time, and then once a week I have a fucking cheat meal. That's it. So when I went out to that restaurant with my wife, I had a little bit of fish and I had half of a cheeseburger. But other than that, I've just been doing these bowls. I've been making falafels. I've been doing all of this fucking crap. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just learning. I just actually bought some shit for a stir fry tomorrow night. I figure the worst thing that's going to happen out of all of this is I'll just have all of these new meals that I can make, because I still think I'm going to eat meat a little bit. I'm just trying to go the whole

month the best I can, and I haven't had no booze. Obviously, I'm done with that shit. No cigars, no nothing. And this has been a long month. I'm not going to lie to you. All right, but as of tomorrow, I think we're almost halfway through it. All right, best vibe music source. What's up, big, big old Billy bitch tits. I'm 20 years old and have been listening for a little over a year while at work. Oh, thank you very much. I heard you mentioned you wanted to know where to find good vibe music. Good man. I love it. And I have a pretty good one for you. There's a 24 seven live stream called chilled cow. That's such an internet name. You know, it's always like that, right? It's always like the fucking, I'm trying to think of like a fucking internet name.

Velvet air, you know, it's like something that just doesn't exist. chilled cow on YouTube. Where am I on YouTube? And they have different moods and vibes to choose from. They're like airwolf. Remember that podcast network airwolf like that was a perfect internet fucking name chilled cow airwolf. Okay, they're very well known and play good beats to just listen to hope you give them a shot. Thanks for giving me and my dad something to talk and laugh about. We love the podcast. That's awesome. Let's check out chilled cow right now. I'm going to have this in my computer here. chilled cow lo fi hip hop radio. Let's listen.

Let's have a quick little listen. Let's take a sample. Wait, this is the end here. Let's get to the beginning. All right, that part right there, I like All right, Bill, just relax. Everything's going to be okay. Wait, where'd the music go? What the fuck? I was just starting to relax. Ah, Jesus Christ. Now I got to hit rewind. This is not low fine. This is fucking pain in the ass. I just rewind. I see this is usually right now where some fat chicks start singing, but I guess they don't.

Is that low fine music? I don't know. All right, I'll check it out. Thank you though. All right, Greek vegan food. Dear Billy the Greek, Greek food is underrated. I love Greek food. I like Greeks too, man. Cool people. When I started eating plant based man for a short period of times, this is what got me through it. Lots of foods don't feel like they're trying to replace meat. Yeah, I hate that shit. I hate that shit. Just be a fucking vegetable. Stop trying to be something you're not. Here's the link with some of them. Okay, so this one's www.greekboston.com category slash vegan. I love when you click on it. It's like open link. Yeah, well what the... Okay. All right, simple Greek roasted vegetables recipe for vegan Greek stuffed tomatoes. Those

look good. They weren't seasoned. Recipe for dolmaids. I don't want to say that. Stuff grape leaves. You know, there's a great Greek restaurant out here. The recipe for Greek styled fried zucchini. That seems like if you want to be the fat vegan. String beans. Anybody else want to try this shit? Greek style spinach rice. Boiled greens. I got to tell you guys, most of you be like, look, I don't eat that fucking shit. I will tell you this, that my one cheat week, cheat meal for the week, after I eat it, I just sit there like, oh my god. I always feel like I have a boot in my fucking stomach now. All right, HOA information. All right, this is a home, I keep forgetting what it's called, home organization. This is like when your fucking

neighbors all decide. HOA meaning. Why can't I remember this? Home owner association. Yeah, this is like such a douchey fucking thing. I get it. I get it if some degenerate gambler moves in and he had a fucking, you know, he hit on a couple of horses and then he wants to build a McMansion. I get it how you're trying to keep that shit from happening, but it also seems like it's a way to like control people or be fucking racist if you wanted to. I don't know, it just seems like that could go sideways. You know, who comes up with an HOA? I just, I'm so fascinated with controlling people. Like just, you know, just fucking leave people alone. Like, this is our neighborhood and we

shouldn't have to fucking dogey, dogey, dogey, dogey, right? It's always some fucking douche running that fucking yap. Whenever I talk to somebody like that, I don't even hear them, I just sit there looking at their mouth. It's the fucking words are coming out. Just thinking of everything that you've just, you know, grabbing a roll of duct tape. I always picture that just around on their head real quick. All right. Love the show and stand up. Thank you. I just listened to the March 8th podcast 2021 and wanted to give you some HOA info. Homeowner associations can foreclosure on your property for unpaid dues, fines or fees. Who comes up with these? Do you have to own a home in that or is this just some extension

of the bank? That caller needs to play ball with the HOA or move as it's not worth losing your house. So there are a bunch of bullies that can take your house unless everybody has the same group thought. Is that what it is? If they, so you fucking, I own a house and I, and if I don't think the way you fucking can stew. Oh my God. I love how people are worried about big brother. What about this shit? If they were to foreclose, the homeowner has the right in most states to redeem the property from the foreclosure. There are state guidelines that spell out the amount of time a homeowner's have for redemption, if applicable. Best of luck to you and your family and go fuck yourself. Let's see here. Homeowner association, control. I'm trying to find some

bad talk about. All right. Controlling neighbors. Don't fight an HOA alone. HOA responsibility for neighbor to neighbor disputes. Let me see. HOAs. Are HOAs good? Pros, a good HOA is a pleasure to work with and can increase your property value. Yeah, this all seems like code for racist and elitist and all of this shit. And you just know there's some cunt that fucking put it together. You just know it.

Cons, a bad HOA can make your life miserable. In other words, if you don't fit into what's going to increase their property value or what they decided, can make your life miserable and cost you time and money. A well-run homeowner association can be a blessing, a port and can be a nightmare. Are HOAs racist? Homeowner's associations are still keeping black Americans out. Well, that didn't take long. All right. Fucking assholes. I hate people. I fucking really just, I just don't like them. And I'm not singling out white people here. Okay. There's the same HOA cunts in every fucking race. They just don't have the opportunity to do it yet and then be exposed for the cunts that they are.

All right. Buddha bulls. Hey, Billy, bald Buddha bod. The bulls are called that, called Buddha bulls, because that's going to be deemed offensive at some point. The bulls are called that because often in Asia, Buddhists are the vegetarians in society. If you're ordering food, you wouldn't say you are a vegetarian. You say you are Buddhist to indicate you don't eat meat. Oh, love the show. Well, I would think at some point because the alliteration, it's so much fun to say. Buddha bull, it would come off as like flipping. But Buddhists, they seem like the least offended. Let me see this. Have Buddhists. I don't know how to spell it. I know there's an H in there. I just fucking saw it. Wait.

B U D D. Buddhists ever started a war. Every other religion. Buddhism and violence. But Buddhism, like the other great faiths, has not always lived up to its principles. Oh, Jesus, there are numerous examples of Buddhists engaging in violence and even war. In the 12th century, Jesus Christ, what have they done? What have you who have you fucking killed lately? Boo boo boo boo boo boo. Boo hoo hoo. Dis. All right. I'll look that shit up later. Am I a dick weird neighbor issue? What does that say? Billy Buddha. Love the podcast. It helped me stay sane when I was still working in the warehouse. Hope you're doing well. I am doing it. I think I'm doing all

right. So I kind of feel like a dick and need some advice here. Am I a dick or reasonable? I bought my first house a year ago and it turns out my neighbor is very annoying. You know, in New York City, by the way, speaking of HOAs, they have like co-ops and like the co-op can decide whether or not you move into the building. I understand it, you know, because if you're going to because you bought there, you're going to live there. And if there's some loud douche, that's going to be a nightmare. But that's, I don't know, it really opens the door to all that other shit. Anyway, since day one, I already forgot what this guy said. I bought my first house a year ago and it turns out my

neighbor is very annoying. Since day one, anytime he sees me or the old lady outside or in the garage, he would come over with nothing to say or ask really. There were times when he walked up the long driver's driveway so silently, I wouldn't hear him until he was standing in the garage door. Weird. Yeah, you can't have that. You cannot have that. And he walked over as my girl was sitting in her car waiting for it to warm up one day and scared the shit out of her. I like my alone time in my garage doing my thing. So right before winter, I had to tell him to stay off my property unless I invite him over. Exactly. Good man. He's friendly, but seems kind of off mentally. Yeah, this guy's fucking weird, dude. The second time I met him, he asked me to write a resume

for him because he found out I'm a teacher. Then he tried inviting himself inside saying he always lived next door and wondered what the inside of our house looked like. Dude, you have a fucking stage four creep. Five being the highest number. This guy's like Goomer on fucking all F is for family. Also, when we were moving in, he walked over and asked if there was an upstairs to the house. Very awkward. He's in his 20s and I feel bad because his parents brought over some vegetables over the summer, but I am a dick. But am I a dick for telling him to stay on his side of the fence? Thanks. Can't wait to come to a show when they start back up. No, not at all. Not at all. You did the fucking right thing. The last thing you want to be is a nice person

in that situation. You need to establish boundaries. I hope that that guy is abiding by those things. I hope everybody in your house understands that that guy is off. It sucks that you live there, but there's no fucking way I would ever walk out of my house without having my head on a fucking swivel, whatever the fuck they call. Keep your head on a swivel. No, you are not a dick at all. You are not a dick at all. All right, girlfriend has other boyfriend according to her grandpa. Hey, Oily Bill Morrison. Hey, you know what? You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to cancel my fucking show right now. I'm starting to feel fucking sick. I did too much. I did too much today. Look at this shit. This is Oily Bill

taking care of himself now. I'm going to go right to fucking bed and I'll be fine in the goddamn morning. But if I go out tonight, it ain't going to be a good thing, right? This is what you do. You don't feel good. You fucking cancel your shows. You got a weird ass fucking neighbor. Not going to be able to make it tonight. Suddenly feeling like I'm getting sick. Period. Not COVID sick. Period. Just cold sick. All right. And then that's it. I'm out. And I only said I was going to do the show today, so nobody was expecting to see me anyway. Okay. All right. Fucking great. Okay. Now I can just finish this podcast and go to bed. Be a smart fucking person for once. Look at this, Bill.

Bill in March taking care of himself. All right, girlfriend has other boyfriend according to her grandpa. By the way, what I just did there is a really important thing to do for quality of life. It's something that I just used to plow through and would get sick all the fucking time. All right. Hey, old Billy Morrison. Did you see riders on the storm in the desert? I've been wanting to take shrooms for the longest, but I've been too much of a pussy every time I have the opportunity. Anyway, anyways, he says, I'm a 22 year old college senior from Orange County. I've been doing what a guy should be doing in his college years as far as the ladies go, spotting red flags right away and getting out. That's good. Not getting too emotionally involved and having fun

while also being upfront with these girls. That's the key. If you're just out there having fun, let them know because according to Sidney Loper, girls just want to have fun. Like they, you know, they can be down for something like that too, but you just got to make sure there's big gaps of time between seeing them so nobody gets attached and not trying to fuck them over. Good for you. I recently met a girl and we've been dating for seven months now. She's awesome and I've never connected with someone like I do with her. Well, that's right. That's good because you didn't get bogged down to your relationship. You wait until somebody special came along. That's what you should do. She's smart, funny. She's independent and makes money and her relaxed vibe matches mine.

It's been great and I think I'm finally starting to grow up. As I found someone I can see myself with for the long haul, that's great. She's a promo model and obviously gets a lot of attention from guys, but I trust her and it doesn't bug me. That's good. She has a guy, best friend who used to date one of her girlfriends. Kind of strange. She has a guy, best friend who used to date one of her girlfriends. Kind of strange, but I didn't think much of it. They're really close and have been since high school. Oh, fuck. This is the guy she's going to marry, dude. I have a bad feeling. He's in the Marine Reserves and lives right by her. They've hung out once or twice while we've been dating and she's always been upfront about it and nothing ever seems sketchy. However, I want to go

meet a grandfather a couple of weeks ago, masked up obviously, and when she introduced me to him, he said, ah, so this is the Marine guy, right? She said, no, that's Aaron, my longtime friend. This is Zach, my boyfriend. He then laughed and said, damn me, huh? How many boyfriends do you have then? Right away she laughed and told him her and that guy never dated like that. It's always just been friendly. When we left, I asked her what the fuck was up with that. She told me that a grandpa was in the Marines and he got excited when she told him that her friend was too. Apparently, they had never met before. The guy's over 90 years old, so obviously he's not all there, but he's definitely sharp for his age after talking to him. I tried to brush it off and

give it time, but it's been two weeks now and I got to be honest, that shit is still bugging me. Well, dude, I got to tell you something. If you were fucking cool with her being hot and guys looking at her and it didn't bug you, but this bugs you, this is legit. You got to listen to your gut here. Her dog just passed away and I was with her all day and night when it happened, but as soon as I went back home, she said the guy was going to come over because he was close with the dog too. Dude, get the fuck out of this relationship. Get out of this relationship. I don't know, man, I want to believe her because I've been cheated on before in high school and this doesn't feel like she's trying to hide anything. But at the same time, that shit with the grandpa

is tripping me out. What do you think, Bill? Am I being paranoid or should I just brush it off, brush off what happened as an old guy messing around? Or do you think this could be a red flag? It's, well, dude, if he feels like a red flag, I would address it. Thank you. And I got to say your podcast kept me from jumping out of my 12th story cubicle window when I had my shitty office job. LOL. Go fuck yourself. Yeah, dude. I don't know, man. I don't like the lay of the land there at all. I'll be honest with you. I don't like the lay of the land. And so I would just, you got to sit down and talk to her about it. Just say it bothers you. Well, what do you want me to do about it? Is this like, well, I mean, you know,

I don't even, you're seeing this guy all the fucking, I just, I don't know. I just think that's fucking weird. There's something fucking weird going on there. There's something that that whole fucking thing is really weird. She's the ex-boyfriend of one of her girlfriends. Now, what I don't understand is why didn't she just get with, if she, if he was single, why the, this is something on your side here. Why wouldn't she just get with the guy? I mean, is he in the Marines Marines or does he do that weekend shit? You know, like how the, if he's in the fucking Marines, why is he around? Wouldn't he be deployed somewhere? I don't like it. You know what? You know what? I'm going to fucking, I'm going to phone a friend here. Any Marines out there? What is, what is your gut

telling you about this? They're all laughing right now in some fucking God forsaken place. They're listening. Get the fuck out. That's what you're saying, right? Over in Afghanistan, you're listening, right? I bet they're saying get the fuck up. Dude, you need to address this. You definitely need to address this. I don't like it. I'm not saying she's guilty, but there is definitely, if this was the cops, they would get a warrant at this point. There's enough here that that for a warrant, you might not find anything. The alibi might check out, but this is definitely, this is something that Perkin the Holy is up there. Anyway, so what else? I played with my daughter today, man, and my son was awesome. As always, my daughter's

still, she's getting, she's got the bike down as far as like, I just don't have a big enough driveway where she can like, you know, ride around. So I got to take her to the park, something I want to do, and just do that for like two, three days in a row. Just let her get it down, or I got to find some place where we can both go. You know, I just don't like doing it after she went to school. She comes out of school and she's just like, all right, I don't need to learn anything else. I just want to come home, have something to eat, watch Bugs Bunny or some shit. So I try to respect that, because I love that when I was a kid, you know, walking home. Sometimes I used to take the bus, most times I used to walk and just joking around with my friends, you know, and then getting home.

And I grabbed like any to make a stake them when I was older, when I was younger, I'd have like a powdered donut, some sort of shitty fucking food, we always had like Twinkies, it's the 70s, right, just fucking shit like that. You know, it was so fucking overrated back then with devil dogs, you know, and every time I'd eat one, they would the driest, you had to drink like half a gallon of fucking milk to get those fucking things down. And I remember I would come home. And the shows I used to watch was like, there was there's an a pretty obscure cartoon was on all the time and just it hasn't gotten any love over the years was a show called deputy dog. Hello, Sheriff, the dog and the deputy dog, it was a fucking dog. And it was a deputy. And then the

and then the sheriff was an actual person. And then he was always having problems with was it Morocco mole? No, what the fuck was it? There was Vince. And you know, yeah, I don't go away musky, musky muskrat. That's what it was. Don't go away mad musky. Just go away. Let me see deputy dog. I got to look this up here before I end the podcast deputy dog. Deputy dog. All right. Number of episodes. Oh, there was only 34 episodes. They used to show them all the fucking time. It aired from 1960 to 1963. Deputy dog first ran weekly September 8, 1962, to May 25, 1963, with a brief hiatus in December. Each episode has deputy dog as a deputy dog cartoon followed by dingback and then silly Sydney. I don't remember that.

The British television debut debut on BBC was in 1963. I just remember deputy dog. Deputy dog is a deputy sheriff in Florida, a Florida dog. And the episode progressed, the location changed to Mississippi and later to Tennessee. The other they were like, all right, we're not south enough. Then we went to Mississippi. This is this is too far south. Let's go in the middle. What's the middle ground of Mississippi in Florida, Tennessee. That just sounds fun name Tennessee just sounds happy. I love that state. One of the most beautiful fucking states I've ever been in. I fucking love Tennessee. The other man, the other main characters are the varmints musky muskrat and moly mole, possibly possum tycoon, Vincent van gofer. That's

the one I remember not moly moly. Remember Vincent van gofer, pig Newton and dogs boss sheriff. I don't remember any of those guys. I just remember deputy dog. I'm sinking in the creek mud. That's all I remember. A late addition to the cast was astronaut, a mischievous alien visitor. Oh God, that was the end of every cartoon. That's like when the Flintstones had that stupid little green guy fucking over, fucking over. Much of the comedy is a site gag. Deputy dog later appeared in episodes of the 1987 series mighty mouse, the new adventures. Yeah. There's only 34 episodes. Well, I definitely saw all of those. I would come home and eat nothing but fucking junk food. And I did not want to do any homework or any fucking thinking.

Then I would go outside and play. And then the stress of my homework would start hitting me like around five. Like, ah, fuck, I got to do my homework. I remember there was a couple friends I had that just had the discipline. They'd get off the bus. I'd be like, let's go out and play. Let's play football, baseball. I mean, ride bikes to do some shit. I got to do my homework. I'd be like, fuck that. All right. And then they'd come out around four o'clock and they'd be done with their homework. And I'd be like, ah, shit, I wish I was them. I wish I was them. And that's why I wasn't successful because back then I put shit off. But not now, not today. I think of a shit joke. I go right over and I ride it. They call it sick to work. All right. Anyway, that's

the podcast, everybody. I'll let you know how the the vaccine goes this week. We'll see. We'll see if I get it. They opened it up to entertainers. It'd be funny if they watch my act yet. You're not an entertainer. You're just a fucking angry orange man. Angry orange men are not qualified until August. All right. Okay, that's it. That's the podcast. Sorry, don't we need you on to make you guys tired? Thank you to everybody that's been listening. Thank you to everybody that always listens and writes in and all of that stuff. I love hearing from you guys. And I don't know. I'm feeling you can feel it, man. You can feel it. We're turning the corner. All right. Everybody's going to get this vaccine for the most part, right? And then

it's just going to be, uh, we'll get to go back outside again. You know, that'll be it. That'll be it. And I've been saying this for a long time. All right. There's a lot of people you're going to look back fondly on all the time you had off from not going into work. You know, I can tell you, I don't think it's going to be my first trip back to LAX. It might be, but my second trip to LAX, I might start crying. Okay. So if you guys see me there crying, just pretend you don't see me. Um, all right. That's it. All right. Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday.