Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 3-15-22

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Bill rambles about food poisoning, self-driving cars, and cologne. Indochino: Get $50 off any purchase of $399 or more by using promo code BURR at Indochino.com Truebill: Don’t fall for subscription scams.  Truebill is the new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions you don’t need, want, or simply forgot about.  On average, people save up to $720/ year with Truebill.  Start canceling today at Truebill.com/burr.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burns time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday March 14th, I'm doing it on the 15th. I'm buried in this movie. I apologize and this thing's only gonna be a half hour Along just ride with me for the next three weeks, and then I'll be wrapped on the movie We'll be doing podcast sliders Guys are gonna drop some pounds here the next few weeks Yeah, I just been busting my ass and I was gonna try to do the podcast Sunday night and Or maybe Monday, I don't even know what happened Monday. I

Ate a salad You know because I'm trying to be an actor shape and I fucking and then I had a slice of Domino's pizza And I got all the sudden I felt bad. I was just like Was that the Domino's pizza and everybody's you know and sets going well, dude, you've been eating so clean You probably got a lactose intolerance You know from the pizza whatever I'm like Well, you know you kind of have to be like at least a 12 pack in for Domino's to taste good or at least have an edible You know so I was kind of blaming the pizza and I gotta tell you something

I got to apologize to Domino's pizza. It wasn't the pizza was the salad and I ended up getting like some low level of food poisoning Dude, I gotta tell you something I went to bed that night and had to get up like three times an hour at the whole night And it was the ex the exorcist and the sequel at the same time if you know what I mean, let's just say The salad utilized every exit But what was amazing Was I got this great night's sleep despite getting up I but felt like two to three times an hour

Because I was so exhausted my body was so worn out from fighting this thing That my big head would hit the pillow and I would immediately just hit REM sleep and I woke up I was weak as hell and my lower back was killing me from convulsing over the fucking toilet. I mean Like this shit would not stop coming out until it was just bile Um, but I gotta tell you something. I don't mind puking. Well, I know there's a lot of people. They hate puking I actually I think the noises you make are fucking hilarious when you go You know when you get really towards whatever is left

You know just laugh. I was kind of cracking up and then uh, and then after you puke you feel so much better You feel so much better like uh underrated Underrated the feeling right after puking And I'm not talking about the embarrassment or shame, you know, if you're like a fucking parking lot You know before a game tailgating. I mean that's that's kind of that's not a good feeling but like, you know This's just something in your body and your body wants it out of you Puking's also underrated because it's getting it out way quicker than on the other end because the other end it got into you It went through the whole thing, you know, it kind of got past that first line of security

And then it got into your intestines and that's when people start whispering. What the fuck is this and then All right, buddy It's time for you to go right and that's it, right That actually my Jim brewer used to have this great fucking bit About your stomach puking something with the stomach was like the bouncer and it got everybody out of the club Wow I just went back almost 30 years in the fucking comedy brain there um

anyway, so um So you know what you do after you have a night of that shit and puke it and everything You know, if you're a big hollywood phony the first thing you do when you wake up. What do you do? Do you get some electric electrolytes? Do you drink some gatorade? No, you jump on the scale and you're like, whoo drop two and a half pounds, baby I know it's sad. It's pathetic, but it is what it is I'm recording this on my phone because I can't find my other thing

because my life is a mess right now, but um I will tell you this the the movie is going It's going amazing It's really going amazing and I got a very nice letter from the people that gave us the money Saying how much they're enjoying the daily. So I don't know. I'm getting a little excited here Getting a little excited. What's going on out in the world? Only thing I know is the gas prices are high Which this is yet another time where I thought I would just wish regular people were organized

you know It's like we told we made we made The gas prices go down to like two bucks a gallon a dollar 90 a gallon in 2020 By all staying home and not driving Granted the government told us to stay home. I ain't fucking staying home. I don't trust the government Um They're bombing iraq. That's great support the troops Um

Anyway, uh You know, we made it go down. So why don't we just all just like drive less If you're working somewhere and somebody lives kind of near you. Why don't you commute? Fuck these gas companies Okay, they keep doing this shit where it was like they didn't know the pandemic was coming So they had all of this fuel and then we didn't use it So the supply and demand thing so then we we we start buying it again And then what do they do? They stop producing it and then they're like, oh, we don't have as much They do it on purpose. They're greedy cunts. They pay all the politicians the republicans

The blue ties the obamas the trumps the bindings the clintons they pay all of them They pay all of them You know and so they don't do anything about it, but we have we have the power man But you get the power then you don't drive your car Then you get the girl Right, we have the power to just make it go back down again. Just don't fucking drive if you can or whatever commute with somebody else all right Do your part this week to fuck over the fucking oil companies

And drive less or commute or stay home one day when you were going to go out or ride your bike do something like that Fuck these fucking greedy cunts Who create a shortage on purpose so they can try to make up all the money they lost in 2020 It's fucking disgusting I saw a thing the other day, you know, they're trying to all these fucking trumpsters are trying to say that Donald Trump was right about the fucking oil And all of that shit. It's fucking hilarious He was right about the oil. Yeah, well, so is Jimmy Carter, but he wore the wrong color fucking tie, right? Jimmy Carter made that same fucking speech in the late 70s

He said this country is addicted to oil. He put solar panels on the fucking white house Then he was viewed as weak And then 40 fucking years later a guy with a red tie says the same goddamn thing minus the solar panels And he's considered a fucking god by the same people that thought the other guy was a fucking weak person All right, now I'm not just going after conservatives here because if the exact same thing happened reverse where a red tie guy said it The blue tie people won't listen to it. What are you saying here, Bill? I don't know what I'm saying I'm just I don't know It's fucking unbelievable. All you got to do is have a fucking

Different colored tie and people get like hypnotized and they won't fucking listen to it. Oh, gee, bill. You're so goddamn smart I know I know, but I think I do make some good points here. All right, everybody. It's indo chino You know from weddings to work functions to weekends out of the town It's always the right time to dress to impress Especially in clothes that fit you perfectly Indo chino makes high quality custom fitted suits shirts and casual wear all at a surprisingly Affordable price. Oh, will you look at that? Um, you can customize everything from suits and shirts to chinos and bomber jackers jackets

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You know, john bonham's a better drummer than ginger baker. He just is for what he's doing. He's playing rock music. He's better all right Ginger baker had more in his vocabulary You know, he could do the jazz drummer thing But as one of my friends said was he one of the greatest jazz drummers of all time? No, he was not all right Tony williams fucking smoked that guy Elvin jones smoked that guy max roach smoked that guy buddy rich smoked that guy

But as far as rock drummers go, john bonham is the greatest of all time All right, that's my opinion dear bill dear bill bonham. Thanks for being such a funny bastard I've managed to get my mom hooked on your specials and she always puts them on whenever I visit Oh, that's really nice. I really dig your discussions on drumming and music in general too Um, and as far as the question. Oh, let me talk about something right now. You know, there's a show out right now called uh, Pam and tommy Well, they really try to make tommy lee out to be this really like sort of dumb guy and um, which is really a shame because if you listen to the guy's drum parts In uh, all of his work

Throughout his career motley crew throughout everything. He's a fucking genius And I know a lot of drummers out there, you know, they get into how difficult something is and the technicality and what time signature it's in Like what that guy does he plays for the fucking song I was listening to that wild side today and just how he um that little Break when the band cuts out before they go into the chorus How each time how he brings up the intensity of what he's doing to to build the momentum of the song

And the originality in the drum parts that fit fucking perfectly with the song Okay, you know, you're not a mouth-breathing moron um I do know it's just a tv show But that's been bugging me because I got to be honest with you whenever I sit down to try and learn a motley crew song I am always blown away by the drum part like what the fuck did he come up with that? You know and there's a lot of cunts out there Young cunts that are on fucking youtube that you know, you're just getting spoon fed all of these fucking licks

And then you sit down and you learn how to play them and then you connect them all together And you play 90 fucking miles an hour and you think you're fucking better than these guys But like when somebody comes in with a guitar riff and you actually have to come up with the A drum part that not only fits it compliments it and elevates it. That's an entirely different thing um Haven't said that a lot of the young drummers do fucking blow me away But I think that's becoming a lost art Where it's just becoming chops because these kids today that I tell you these goddamn kids the way they play

I mean their chops are fucking unbelievable um All right, here we go as far as the question of baker versus bottom I find that ginger's playing is a little more dialed back Not boring, but his energy is definitely on a shorter leash than bottoms I can see how his fills leave something to be desired that being said his solos are really well spaced No, solos are incredible They have a certain galloping quality that I find hypnotic

I wouldn't argue with that his solo and blind faiths live performance of Do what you like at high park illustrates what I'm getting at. I'd recently watched that. No, I do think he's amazing, but I mean We're talking about the genre of rock. That's you know, I got to give it to Paul John is the man is the man though. I don't think ginger's comments about him not being able to swing a bag of shit Were called for yeah, I thought that was just all jealousy I guess that's just how old jazz dudes looked at other musicians though. We all know how fucking great those triplets are Uh, what about the purdy shuffle he plays on fool in the rain or cashmere? It blew my feeble human mind when I found out he was playing in a different time signature

From the rest of the band in that song Is that true? I didn't even know that I honestly love both players so much, but ginger's overly salty attitude Gives him a deduction in my book. Yeah, that really is a shame because everybody looked at him like he was one of the greatest of all time You know, so he should have just taken the compliments instead of being a cunt and fucking trash and All these other people that were getting compliments Gee, I know a few people like that

I've been like that. Um, I'd like to acknowledge mitch mitchell from the jimmy hendrick's Hendrick's experience as an honorable mention too. Yeah, he was a fucking beast Um, he had those same jazz roots and vibes as ginger, but he definitely had a brighter and more livelier Personality in his playing I could listen to his parts on manic depression over and over Anyways, that's all I really have to say looking forward to your future projects. You know, I Those are all great points. I think I would get more into mitch mitchell. I just feel like the recording of that music It's really muddy and I feel like it exists somewhere between before stereo and after stereo where, um

You know, his drums are really low in the mix I feel Or maybe my ears aren't good enough to pick up I mean, I know the guy's you know, killing it or whatever, but I like when I watch when I want to watch mitch mitchell I try to watch something on youtube where he's playing live because then I feel like everything's at the same level and, um I can really hear what he's doing. All right driverless future

Dear billy good year I'm not sure if you're following this but there's a push by certain agencies in private equity groups People with lots of money Sometimes with lobbyists behind them to ban the use of self-driving cars Granted it would be years till this happened if it did. What are your thoughts on this? My first thought is what are the what's their problem with the way we're doing it? You know, I know there's a lot of bad drivers out there. I know that you know I don't I don't know I feel like there's too many people so we got to have

Certain people get taken out by car accidents. That's too dark. I can't say that and the deer population will be all out over the fucking Over the goddamn horizon Anyway, the learning curve of ai would mean that the first few years Could yield more accidents than manual human drivers. Dude. I am not getting in a car That's like sitting at the front of the train like the conductor and you see that other train Coming at you and you're like Catch you last moment. I want to be in the back

In the dining car going can I get a turkey sub with some laze chips, please? boom lights out I think I'd hate to have to be told what road to drive down to justify to my car system That I need to pull over to send a text make a call or eat a sandwich on a side street Or maybe even some teenage funny stuff What are you talking about? It's self-driving. You could be banging in the car. Do people are going to be fucking in the car texting Shaving

I'm not against progress, but I see the death Of romance coming Uh, there's something romantic about being able to travel freely wanted to get your big brain take I know that was fucking sarcastic. Congrats on your beautiful family. Thank you. Um Yeah, I don't know what that is about Um, the only thing that I could see about that is the people that are are behind it have a lot of money in self-driving cars And there's some sort of thing in there and and it will all be done out of concern for our own safety You know what I mean, and then it'll take it, you know, they'll say like well when you get on a plane

You don't fly the plane. There's a pilot You know when you get on a boat you have a you have a captain and you get on a train you have a fucking Conduct and on a conductor. What do you call an engineer? Right They'll say that shit. Um I have to tell you driving my old Ford truck You know on like a sunday

the window down And it's manual and it shifts on the column. It's just one of the great joys I have in life And uh, I'm going to teach my son and daughter how to drive that truck Which I think is a really cool thing. Um, it is one of the cool things about Being an old dad is uh You know you were around for a lot of cool shit And your kids are going to know all the new shit. They can teach you the new shit and then you got all this cool old shit um

I mean, I don't know how many kids And my daughter and son's generation are going to know how to drive a stick shift and let alone one on the column That's pretty fucking cool. I think um In fact, I think my daughter's first car. I'll probably get her an old car That has uh, that's a stick shift You know Just so her kids or her friends can see uh, I don't know. I'm a weirdo like that

Like, you know, there's a Mustang out right now I went I saw it with dean del rey that had looked like a her shifter Uh, it was battleship gray and it was a six speed Um, I was talking to dean. We saw that thing like fucking six months ago. He goes dude. I think of that car every day Um Yeah, I don't know what I I I do think that, um What basically happens as far as like control goes over people the bigger that the

The flock gets the more control they need to have over people I feel Like back in the day, you know, when there was only a couple hundred million people you could you know You could roam around and do basically whatever the fuck you wanted Even bad shit too So, I mean, it was a much more dangerous place Um And then somewhere there was a tipping point where I think now they're taking like too much control I don't know. That's just I mean, they're gonna have like self-flying planes self-flying helicopters

They're moving towards that Um You know, and they're they'll probably just blame pilot error and and you know bad drivers and shit like that Um, but when it really comes down to is it's always about money. That's what I would guess. All right Plowing ahead here a new segment Something you knew was too bad Too bad ass for you. Oh, yeah, I was saying like I own I own like a fucking couple of Les Paul guitars an SG or two

Of three I have some really good guitars that I you know bought and I love playing the Malcolm young parts of acdc But I have no business owning those fucking guitars. I have an old rick and bock of left-handed bass I play guitar left-handed. So and then I got uh, I got a The gratch drums. I feel like I deserve those because I play them all the time But uh, the the segment is what's what's something bad ass that you own that you know is too bad ass for you But you still bought it. Hey, yo, billy red white and bald head This last Thursday you were rambling on about Wanting a big ass truck. Yeah, I want to get an f-250 regular cab with the diesel engine

In all of that shit, and I don't know how to fucking I change a light bulb. That's it. I just fucking love them Uh, you asked about owning something super bad ass, but deep down knowing Yeah, it's just not for you. You're you weren't bad bad ass enough to to uh To own it. I immediately knew I had a story you'd appreciate when I was about 12 years old 2002 my dad bought himself a 1966 Ford Mustang Powder blue with a white hard top mint condition. The kind of car Seinfeld would have picked your goofy ass up in before he invited you Uh interviewed you about killing flies Um, this car was immaculate

My dad took it to every car show he could find and got first place every time completely original The leather seats matched the paint job Dude send a picture that sounds beautiful still plays eight tracks perfectly Not one single scratch on this fucking thing. You get it. The car was sexy as hell and everyone knew it I turned 16 and get my driver's license Oh, no at first i'm driving an old maroon beat-up mazda on its dying days nothing special about it represented me well unassuming Uh never stands out in a crowd gets the job done, but no bells or whistles one day out of the fucking blue

My dad straight up hands me the keys to his Mustang. He says it's mine. I'm 16 Oh my god He goes I absolutely fucking love that car, but for some reason I never felt comfortable in it All of my friends wanted to ride in it. I turned heads everywhere. I went everyone was jealous of me But deep down I was a stupid kid with half a mustache It made me incredibly insecure and I told my dad I didn't want it anymore Oh my god, I get it. No, dude. I get that I get that where I was when I was 16 I fucking didn't like myself. I didn't like who I was

So the last thing I wanted was people looking at me dude. I can't tell you how much that's what I got out of that um You know when you think about the guys that had the cool cars In uh in high school aside from being rich or whatever They also felt good about themselves and they wanted people to look at them and they felt good So they look good in the car You know, if I got in the same car, I'm like, uh, do I look cool? I don't do I? No, I don't and I have that insecurity And I would have looked like an asshole

Bill my dad sold it immediately after I gave it to him a guy in france bought it I'm from texas. This french fucker literally had an 18-wheeler pick it up from my house Drive it all the way to california from texas. Put it on a boat. Why wouldn't he drive it to the east coast and shipped it To himself in france. That's how valuable this car was and I simply gave it up I'm guaranteed to never see it again. I will never forgive myself for that young and dumb, right? no No, no, you weren't young and dumb. You were just You just were an insecure kid. It was too much of a car for where you were at

um, your dad was obviously done with it when he gave it to you And uh, yeah, that's fine Listen, I fucking look I would have looked like a jerk off in that car at 16 I look great in my truck now because I love it. I don't feel like an asshole And I'm happy as hell when I'm driving it and I don't care when people look at me Because you know, I'm just an old bald ginger. I don't give a fuck. It's one of the great things about getting older You don't care what people think anymore Um, anyways, you're the man bill flew to colorado to see you film your special red rocks diehard fam

For a damn near a decade. I appreciate your wisdom But more so I appreciate your ability to make me feel better about my own level of intellect That's one of the coolest ways that anybody ever said i'm dumb Take it easy and my best to the family back east Go fuck yourself you bitch All right, that was a great story man. That's a great car story Um, I hope that guy in france is listening man. Send us a picture of the car Um, you know that guy's the coolest. I didn't see you. I've been over to france like two or three times

I've never seen a Mustang over there Uh cologne. Hey bill. I'm a 33 year old young man I say I say young because I don't own a home or have kids and while that doesn't make A man I certainly it certainly makes me a young boy man Yeah, I know you're sort of extending your adolescence. I I did that for a good 40 something years I recently ran into my ex's friend and we started talking about everything that happened Uh, she had questions about why we broke up after a few minutes. She asked me about the cologne fight we got into I barely remembered it. We once had a conversation where I said I'm not into it anymore

And I don't want to smell like other dudes who bought the same shit I didn't think much of it But apparently she thought it was a red flag that I didn't want to ever wear cologne. She told her friends I was immature in that way Why is it a red flag to not wear cologne? I told her cologne was for college kids and dads with office jobs and that cologne Was immature for people wearing it her friends laughed and agreed. She said that my ex Has brought it up more than once I said, oh, yeah three years together and that's all she has to say

That sounds immature Her friends laughed I even said shit. There's better ways she could There there's better Wait shit. There's way better Things she could have complained about her friends laughed even more. I need your opinion on cologne in general I also need you to tell me it's okay That I asked the friend out for coffee to laugh some more. We're hanging out next week Um, I don't know it sounds like you hit it off with her

That's funny. She said that my ex brought it up more than once I said, oh, yeah three years together And that's all she has to say that sounds immature her friend laughed I even said shit. There's way better things she could have complained about her friend laughed even more. I need your opinion My opinion is you're going to start banging her and she's going to end her friendship with her ex That's what's going to happen. Uh, my feelings on cologne Um, cologne to me is an old guy thing and I love old guys that wear cologne There's something funny about them. They're still dying their hair. They got fucking a gold bracelet Uh, the guy that has the hanger next to me

Where I where I got the helicopter is uh, he's a cologne guy. He's a fucking badass dude. He used to fly in the israel Israeli military You know, he's got a really fast plane and he has a fucking robinson r44 And he has this little helipad that he toes it on and when I tell you that helipad is just Got one inch on either side You know, or you're going to fall off that fucking thing and he lands it on there like a champ every time And he wears cologne and I think it's great as a young person. I don't know I'll forgive you if you're young, but if you're somewhere in between

college age And some old guy that used to fly for the military of a country Uh, yeah, it's pretty cheesy Um, I would say if you want to smell good just go with a really good smelling lotion You know, it's good for your skin. It keeps your wrinkled free. You look good. You smell good You got a little glow going but it smells more like, uh It doesn't smell like you have a van and you're going to try to fuck around a water bed I think cologne turns a lot of chicks off. I would think unless their dad had it

Um, then you get into all that weirdness whether he paid attention to or not. They're going to be, you know I've just been chasing that cologne smell my whole life. We're like, I'm a daddy's girl All right, wife bitching about nudity nudity on tv Dear billy bitch bastard motherfucker burr. Jesus You just went with the cursing me out version here. Hang on when I drink some water. I'm still dehydrated Linda billy blare over here Uh, my wife, you know what food poisoning is really the poor man's colonic. I'll leave it at that Uh, my wife recently threw a fit at me watching the HBO series ballers

Because of the amount of female nude scenes. She asked me to stop watching it in front of her Uh, did not respond to my asking if she preferred I watch it in private I did not respond to my asking if she preferred I watched it in private and went on to on a whole tirade About society objectifying women and told me I just watched the show because I want to feel what it's like To be built Like a shit brick house like the rock and be able to get any chick I wanted like him Well, yeah, I mean, that's why you watch tv and movies and when I was growing up. That's the whole fucking reason you watched it

Bert Reynolds all of those guys They're all good-looking guys They had mustaches and cool cars and all the women wanted to bang them And I know all of that is gone by the fucking wayside But I guarantee you to this day if there's a good-looking guy and he's pulling off a mustache and he's in a cool car And he feels good about himself And he's not really paying attention to the hot chicks. They're fucking drawn to him like a magnet It's just it's just is it is what it is and don't let these feminist

Fours and fives these mediocre looking chicks try to mind fuck you and tell you something different It is what it is hot chicks will always like a cool guy in a cool car Who's not really paying attention to him? All right. I told you I wasn't in charge of casting I told her I wasn't in charge of casting unfortunately not able to choose actresses. She found unattractive Slash non-threatening. Oh I mean you went you went right forward I happened to fall out of interest with the show anyway Since it's basically just entourage which I love not saying anything bad about fucking entourage

With athletes instead of actors Also, it's basically entourage with athletes instead of actors Um, is there a way guys can win this argument though? It seems the only way to win it is by having it Is by not having it all and changing the topic ASAP when it comes up But wanted to seek your wisdom for better methods that allow men to feel like they still have balls Socks and Bruins suck. Go fuck yourself. Well, the lovely Nia just came in First of all, bill has no wisdom. So I don't know why you're asking him for any kind of advice

Oh, look at you coming in hot coming in hot. Come here gorgeous Coming in hot um All right, so what's happening this guy was trying to watch ballers With the rock the rock. Yeah, and I guess there's a bunch of nudity in there Yeah, and his girlfriend got all upset bunch of naked bitches. Yep Yeah, she got all upset saying this objectifies Women and you just you just want to watch the show because you want to see what it would be like if you were built like a brick shithouse

Or a shit brick house So whatever the fuck you're supposed to say and got to bang any chick you wanted and I was like, well, yeah I mean, isn't that yeah, isn't that why he's watching the show? Isn't that why everybody watches the show? That's why my whole time growing up watching movies would be like What if I I was watching it like what if I was good looking and knew how to fight? Yeah, what if I knew how to make super models laugh and throw their head back as they kick their foot up Right. Yeah. Yeah, but I didn't I mean, that's probably why he's watching it. So what's the problem? Oh, he's just like trying to figure out how to watch his show in peace

The problem is he thinks that she's just you know She doesn't like him looking at those girls on the on a tv show. That's what it is because they're better looking Than she let's not go there But you know, I'm sure she feels some kind of way about him, you know watching that. Yeah, sure Okay, so what do you think about what should he be allowed to watch? He can watch whatever he wants to watch exactly Yeah, I don't think she should Try to stop him from watching it. I think he needs to find a different time to watch the show That's probably a better idea. Just watch it when she's not around

So you don't have these arguments Do you live together though? Is there no way that you can watch you can't watch it on your phone? Just she goes to bed Rolled over on the other side so she can't see the light glowing from your phone three in the morning watching ballers In secret I actually I think that's a great point to bring up to her It's like, am I really gonna have to watch ballers at three in the morning on my phone while you're sleeping? Yeah, just let me watch but I mean, yeah and her I think she's yeah

Probably it doesn't like the fact that I never watched that show But I'm sure yeah, because it's about athletes and that whole lifestyle. It's athletes That's what I said. You said athletes I said it's athletes and wait. Well, what is it athletes athletes? Yeah, not athletes It's not athlete. It's not athletes foot athletes athlete No athlete at the Leeds

I think it's athletes now. I don't know you said it's so many athletes foot athletes It's not athletes. It's athletes. It's not athlete. He's an incredible athlete. Oh, you're right. It's not It's not athlete My wife is dumb athlete All right. Yeah, that makes sense. Um So it's about athletes You say an athlete. No, I said it's about athletes. Yeah, now you said that doesn't sound right

All right, well, that's the podcast I have some stuff wait, wait, wait So what is what's on this show that's so offensive? It was just like naked women or just scantily clad went like the groupie whores. Yeah. Yeah, the groupie is That's part of that athlete. Oh, that's what he should say life It's realistic. This is what he should say No, you're I'm watching a cautionary tale I plan on being successful and watching this show makes me love you even more and this is why I'm going to stay with you

Appreciate you more now that I've seen all these. Well, you know, I listen. Yeah He just he can watch whatever you as long as he's not Running around trying to have that lifestyle in real life. It really shouldn't be a problem You know, it's funny is if she was watching magic mic and he had a problem with it Like the others that same woman would be like Well, eh, you know, it's your own insecurity and I'm just watching look I've always liked music and I've always enjoyed dancing. That's just what I'm watching There's no nudity in that unfortunately some sensual dancing, but you know, not yeah, they never show dicks

Not enough Yeah, because a dick is a weird thing. Yeah, because when a dick is just chilling It's you know, it depending on the temperature can just pull all the way up and no one wants to go on camera It's got to be in like an art It's got to be like a tasteful way to see a dick because we're not like you backlit Would you backlight the guys are just like boobs? But I feel like if it's a dick like a woman wants to see a dick and like the proper context and like essentially what what's sort of Lighting do you want flat lighting or do you want like you want shadows?

I don't know fucking Martin Scorsese. Why don't you tell me like what is the best way to light a dick? I don't know. I was just trying to make a joke You were sitting there going like there's gotta be a proper way to show a dick What was the best dick you saw in a movie as far as like you thought it was presented? Well, it had a you know, it's something you'd want to ride. I mean the whole No, I'm thinking um, I don't think I've ever seen a dick That appealing in a movie because it's usually either played for laughs or it's just like really quick Well, dicks are funny

Like maybe can you give me that? Dicks are funny. Dicks are funny. Yeah, I mean they're funny. I mean if it when it's asleep, it's a dick is funny when it's asleep It's funny. Yeah when they're waking up there. It becomes a completely different thing. It's like a bad drunk Yeah, obviously I would prefer an awake dick to a sleeping dick No, I was just saying a sleeping dick is funny. Yeah, I guess so. It's fine. I don't really you know, it's whatever All right, I don't think about dicks like that. You know what I mean? I've been with the same dick for a month I don't want to talk about dicks anymore. All right. Why don't why don't you want to talk about all the nudity on that athlete show? athlete

That's what I said. You're saying athlete athlete Thank you You fix me. I used to say uh, palo, you know, uh, no, I used to say palo and you and you said it's palo Not palo And then you go palo. I never said palo. I said palo say roof Roof. Okay, you don't say rough Rough like a dog

Some people say rough Like some some white people say rough Go up there on the rough No, oh, yeah up there in the roof. Yeah, but you say roof. You don't say rough Then I say saturday. I don't say satay. Say Come on satay. We'll get up on the roof. Well, I will take care of it. What did I hear you talking about? Don't let these phabotas these four or fives tell you about what were you blabbering on about? What were you saying? Why am I blabbering because you just don't make any sense

You just open your mouth and loud noises come out and that's like your career for the last 30 years I Was just gonna say that's one of that's one of the most accurate descriptions of me ever Bill, how would you describe your comedy? I open my mouth and loud noises come up. I can't argue with any of that um, no, I was just saying, you know, they try to say like You know, like Women who aren't pretty try to say that the reason why I don't think they're pretty is because society told me what beauty is Okay, you know, like I look at Beyonce and I wouldn't think she was pretty

Unless society told me that she's fucking gorgeous, right? I love how you reacted like I was gonna say something bad about her I was gonna because we were about to get into a fight if you were so what? Oh, yeah, what if I was gonna pick on some beautiful white lady, huh? reversed sexy lady person Um, no, and it's just what were you saying my point is don't let ugly people tell you My point is is like they should be attracted to what that ballers thing Well, they're just sitting there, you know, they act like, you know, whatever they get all fucking upset by this thing

It's like that's how the world is. Yes If there's a jacked guy with a bunch of fucking money Who every time he takes a picture he holds his cuff link and looks the other way And he's not really paying attention to the hot women and he has a cool car. They're coming his way Yes, it's just thank you. It just is what is they act like the reason they're doing that is because of society Who thinks that feminists, you know They think that people are attracted to guys that do that because of society. Yes. What does that even mean because I don't know what it means Yeah, you don't sound like you know what it means. No, no, no, no. No. Yeah, this is like a real thing

They're saying like an advertising These impossible standards for beauty and blah blah blah blah impossible for you and possible for me. We're not beautiful I don't know. I mean speak for yourself. I mean, you're beautiful. I'm not Nia Nia Yeah, I'm a ball. You're a little cutie That's my point. That's my point I think you're very handsome and I get people in my fucking comments being like does your husband have a girlfriend?

You know, so obviously somebody you know what that means me wants to blow you I can tell you exactly I can tell you what that means What does that mean? That means that she had a bald orange dad that didn't pay attention to her I didn't have a bald orange dad that didn't pay attention to me I feel like you're kind of insulting me because you're making it seem like I'm with somebody ugly And are you making my ugliness about you? You're not ugly. You just have low self-esteem All right. Yeah, let's play let's play a little game Let's play a little game. This is so fucking stupid. You want to talk about somebody who will just argue anything

All right, Nia, let's play a little game. You have to leave soon. So let's wrap it up brad pit. Yes, bill burr Which one? Well bill burr, obviously Nia. Well Okay, there we go There we go but like Bill shut up. I don't want to hear the other one I don't want to hear the other one

Bill burr, mr. Hooper from sesame street. Go fuck yourself. All right, that's the podcast That's the podcast everybody enjoy yourselves um athlete Did I say it right athlete? Yeah, you said it right athlete pillow pillow Pillow pillow. There you go. All right athlete pillow We're going crazy here

Hey, send me in the words that you said the wrong way for the longest time until you started dating somebody that loved you enough to Correct you and I'll let you walk around like a moron going. Hey, I want to buy a couple of pillows. All right He's a really good athlete. All right. Bye