Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 3-17-14

Episode Date: March 18, 2014

Bill and Paul Virzi ramble about men crying, a gas leak at the hotel and death row last meals.

and watch the second episode on TheWerldInHetKlein.be That's the nice thing about Albert Heijn. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday Morning Podcast from Monday, March 17th, 2014, St. Patrick's Day, falling on a Monday. We're really going to see who the fucking real drinkers are this year when it falls on Monday. Either way, whatever. I'm still touring Canada with the wonderful Paul Verzi, who is once again a special guest here on the podcast. Welcome, Paul Verzi.

What's up, man? How you hanging in there? I'm doing well, you know. What do we got left? How many more days? I told you, I put the blinders on. I didn't think about getting home. You can't. And what do we got? We got tonight. We got, yeah, dude, we're three days away from being home. We got one tonight in Vancouver.

Yeah. Then we're in Victoria. Then we go back to Calgary. Back to those animals. Animals. Fucking animals in Calgary. Jesus, not the first show, the second show. Wow.

My God. I'm trying to, yeah, we wanted to reach out to people in Calgary before we, we just brand everybody in Calgary animals. Like they, they were fucking pounding. You know what? That first show was great. They, yeah, they were great. That second show, though. Whoa.

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, they, they were like, They were coming in with cases of tall boys. They were allowed to bring those little, those little cardboard pallets. Hammered. Hammered. Fucking hammered.

And then, then they had like, I think part of it had to do with the fact that it was at a college. So I think there was college kids there. I just put myself in that mindset going, dude, I drank like that when I was in college. This isn't how. I don't know though, dude. That wasn't all college people because I asked the crowd.

And like that, that was just, I think that was a lot of just Calgary, man. I think that was late night, you know, I think what was permitted on the premises turned them into fucking animals. Yeah. You know, by the time I went on stage, when I got halfway through my set, it was, most of them had kind of like passed out.

Like it got, was getting quiet and I was standing up there going like, am I bombing up here? And I just kind of was looking at like five different people who were laughing their ass off. And I'm like, I'm just going to say in my head, they're sober. Yeah. Like there's no way if I'm really bombing,

I got somebody laughing that hard. So I was just like, maybe this show is going on too long. I'll say that was a rough one, you know, it was animals in Calgary. What was that? The zoo? Okay.

So fun. So then we, then we were driving out in me and Versey. We're trying to find a place to smoke a stogie inside. Right. Or they had this dead jet. They had on that campus, which was really exciting to me was and they had the speed skating loop from the 1988 Olympics. And they still had ice on it.

We were trying to get on that fucker. Oh dude, that would have been a great YouTube video if they loaned us some speed skates going out there in our standup comedy clothes. With those giant blades on it. I just want to be going fast enough. I want to be going fast enough where I'm turned so to the side. I can put those three fingers down, you know, when you go around the corner.

Oh my God. Yeah. No, I would never. I would have been on YouTube for the wrong reasons. Oh yeah. Both of us would have. I would have wiped out. And I would have, you know,

when they wipe out when the centrifugal force just takes you into the stands. Yeah. That would have been me. That would have been me. So anyways, we're trying to do that. We ended up finding this great place to smoke a cigar. So we're driving out and we're trying to figure out going to do was, you know, we're talking about the show going like,

dude, was it me or that the first show was good, but that second show. Wow. Did you feel the same way? And we're, you know, basically exchanging notes. And as we drive out of the venue, we see this group of fucking hammered people. And this guy, he's got, you know,

those things like when they have a parade go down the street, those giant like metal. The barricades. The barricades. Yeah. Those metal ones that have like, it looks like a fucking, I don't know, whatever, giant metal barricade.

This fucking guy picks it up with one hand and he's got it over his shoulder, turns around, sees us coming and then waves us through like he's some sort of official person for half a second. The way he did it. I thought he was. And then as I drove by, I'm looking at him and I see he's Sam. He's hammered. And then I see on his face it registers that with the two comics

he just saw. So I just pull away from him. And as I'm driving and you're going like, wow, man, that guy just had was carrying that thing with one hand. What the fuck? I turn around and look in the rear view mirror and this guy's running after the. We're doing probably like what 15 miles an hour.

Yeah. And this dude is running. I was saying, he looked like, you know, when they show highlights of Babe Ruth hitting a home run, they show him running and fast legs. Yeah. He was, I think he was mocking running. I don't think he was really going to do anything because I didn't get scared.

But I, when I looked in the rear view mirror and I just saw this guy, just imagine you're driving along after a fucking working or whatever. Right. Kind of halfway out of it. And then you look in the rear view mirror and you see somebody running, but in this exaggerated way where he was like pumping his fucking arms like that. It was like he was mocking it.

I didn't see it. All I saw was you go, what the fuck? And you just stepped on the gas. But I was in the past. On that underpowered fucking rental car. So it goes. And all of a sudden you go, what the fuck? And I go, what?

And you just stepped on the gas. You go, that guy just started running after the car. I was like, holy shit. Cause I saw one of his friends. Right. One of the, just collapse. Like they were so hammered that he didn't hit anything. He fell.

A guy just fell and I just saw his legs go up. Like they were fucked up. But I would be lying if like, like three times yesterday and this morning I woke up and I was picturing that guy running behind the car and I laughed every time. It was fucking nuts. Yeah. Those guys were hammered, man. Yeah.

So we got a tip, tip of the cap to the drinking ability. Yeah. Not encouraging that from when we come back Wednesday, we definitely like to have people try to behave more like the first show where, you know, I don't feel like I'm interrupting drinking with my, with my jokes. Yeah. Yeah. That was stuff.

They were great though. The crowds were great. Yeah. Yeah. They were great. But yeah, man, that was, that was another level. Yeah. There was, there's always a couple.

There's always a couple of hammered people, but that was where it was getting to the tipping point. Like kind of like, you know, right before Hitler took power where it's just like, what side am I going to choose here for my own survival is that's what the drunk versus sober level was by the time I got about 40 minutes into my set. It was kind of like, well, that's the thing you're doing. You're doing an hour plus I'm going out there up front. You know, I could kind of see that they're animals, but you know, it is you going out

there by the time you're halfway through your set, these guys are like six tall boys in. It's a shit show. It's a fucking shit show. It was a shit show. Edmonton. Edmonton was unbelievable. Edmonton at that venue. You remember that one with the orchestra fucking place there?

Oh yeah. That was great. So then we have a great time there and then the, we ended up, what the fuck did we go on? We kept leaving the hotel. We kept, we drove around. Oh, but you had, you had to get socks. Bursey's fucking hilarious.

Bursey has not done laundry. I bought new shit, you know, dude, we're like 20 with what 17, we were 16 days in. Yeah. You got 16 days with the fucking socks and drawers. Yeah. I got them in a plastic bag and then I went to the store and I bought new ones. You know, it would have cost me the same fucking thing. We got to take a picture of your bag at some point.

How big is it? Get it? Yeah. You have him. He has them on the outside pouch. Well, you're checking the bag. So I guess it doesn't matter, but I just did mine for the second time. I fucking hate having dirty laundry.

So you go back past a certain amount of days, like I'm doing three, four days in a row, plastic bags, stuff them in the front or whatever. But I didn't do laundry at home. Is it, do you do it? Or does your wife do it? My wife does it. Yeah. Yeah.

Me too. Hey, I got her in line. You know? Okay. So anyways, last week, oh wait, I got to finish the Edmonton thing. So Verzi is completely addicted to skating now and he wants to get better at it. And so we're fucking in Edmonton the next morning. We got to drive down to Calgary and Verzi's going like, there's got to be a place here

to skate. So we find out they have, they have a skating rink at the mall and not only is it a mall, it's one of the most giant malls in North America. North America, yeah. West Edmonton Mall. Yeah. What's that one in Minnesota? Mall of America.

Mall of America. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, which I've been to that one too. So we go to that one. We're walking through there with our fucking skates.

Two middle-aged guys walking through this thing with fucking skates. And we walk in, there's like this giant pirate ship. I mean, like you could sail the fucking ocean with this fucking thing. Yeah. It was a fuck of official. Yeah. And I look on the other side, it was really deep water and it took all this time to make it look like there was a shipwreck and I'm like, Jesus Christ.

I mean, like you could fucking... Yeah, it was monstrous, man. Yeah. Like, Shaq could drown in this water. If he didn't, that's how fucking deep it was. It was huge. And then we look on the other side and I'm like, Paul, I'm like, is that a fucking sea lion?

They had sea lions at this thing and they're like throwing it fishing shit. They're throwing it fishing. It was catching it. A trainer was. It wasn't like people just walking by throwing shit from the food court. It was a trainer throwing it and so we're just walking through the mall, walking through the mall. Endless fucking mall.

They had a water park there. Yeah. I didn't look at any stores. I was too distracted by the shit in the middle and then we finally get all the way to the ice rink. Ice palace. They called it ice palace and we got all excited. And we're the only people with skates just walking through, holding our fucking dumb

skates and we get all the way to the other side. Verzi's all excited. Like, dude, I'm telling you, I'm going to get better at this. You wait. I was ready. By the end of the summer, he's already talking shit. Dude, we're calling it right now. I'm going to be fucking skating backwards.

You're going to be like, what the fuck happened, Verzi? Yeah. Right. And there's a big judo tournament where the ice rink is and they fucking put all this flooring all over it. I was in denial. I'm like, maybe this isn't the rink. You might know this is the rink.

Dude, it says ice palace, Paul. This is it. They covered it up. This is it. I got upset, though, at the mall, man. Remember? Remember that girl, man? That really bothered me.

We were walking through the food court and, you know, we had a gyro. Great gyro at this place. Did you do? Yeah. Yeah. Great gyro at this place called Jimmy the Greek. The one complaint and you agreed. It wasn't too much white sauce and it was pasty.

Yeah, it was a little pasty. Yeah, it was a little pasty. He should have gone one scoop he went to. One scoop less and a little hot sauce and it would have been fucking. He got excited. He got excited. It would have been epic. Yeah.

He got excited. So then I said to Bill, you know, I like a little dessert after I eat. You know, I like a little candy bar. I like a little, you know, so I know. You like a little sugar in your tank. Like, like, like. So, so I go, Bill, man, it was a frozen yogurt place. I go, yeah, a pink barrier.

So I'm going to say, let's go frozen yogurt. See, all right. So we're walking by. I don't like how you keep saying I'm middle age. You are middle age. I'm 30. I just turned 35. 35 times two is 70.

Most guys fucking drop. Well, I call, I call like, I call middle late. Yeah. All right. What would you call it? No, I guess you're right. I guess, you know, I always just, when I thought of it as a kid, I always felt, you know, it was.

No, I don't know. I just remember it. Dude, it's, I don't know. What would you say? Forty forties, but I, you know, forties. Forty people, dude, people live long. Yeah. Dude, I'm fucking be 46.

Forty six times two is 92. You're going to really, I can't really sit there and say I'm middle age. I'll tell you the way I'm eating and smoking, you know. No, so, so we walked through and we're like, where is that? Where was that frozen yoga place? Let's go to that frozen yoga place. So we two, we see two young women walk by and we figure, hey, I looked at them and I'm like, these, these, these ladies, they're going to know where they're going to know

where a pink fairy is. So we walk up and you go first. You say to the friend, you go, hey, you guys know, oh, they're good looking too, by the way. Yeah. Good looking girls. And you go up first. You go, hey, you guys know where the frozen yoga places and like, she did like a double

take. Like she did a double take. So fucking rude. Right. And she just was like, what? And then I looked at the other one and I go, yeah, like a pink berry. And she kind of just like gives a shake off like, how would I know? Like why you, and she fucking did.

This is what she did. She did the classic pretty girl. You're clearly just asking me this because you want to talk to me thing. And I'm like, no bitch, I want some fucking yogurt. Okay. I want fucking, I want to fucking treat. You know, I just had lunch and it really bothered me, dude. And we were walking around and I wanted to find her.

I wanted to walk past this again. They did the loop on the food court. I didn't know that, but I said to Bill and we got to the car. I go, I wanted to find her cause I would have just went up to her and go, you know something. I found it. And you're a mean jerk. And then you go, why would you do that? You're a mean jerk.

That's terrible. What am I going to call her? A cunt? Well, don't call her anything. If you're going to go with mean jerk. I mean, you know, I hate that girl mentality. That pretty girl. Say you're mean or you're a jerk if you want to stay clean, but if you go, you're a mean

jerk. No, you're not. You're not, you're not pretty inside. You're not pretty inside. She doesn't give a fuck. She's the hot girl at the mall. Paul, put yourself in her fucking pumps. All right.

With two fucking fuck her, Jack asked to stand in there with ice skates when there's a judo tournament down the way, asking if they know where the ice cream store is. They looked at us the way they were supposed to. You know what, dude? I like a sweetheart. I don't care how you look. I would love to hear them tell the story. And they come and then this just creepy guy comes up like, you know what they are.

Hey, you guys know. Yeah, but that's the way they're going to hear it, Paul. Paul, you ever watched those fucking prison shows? Which ones? Like the Scared Straight? No, not those ones. They talk about the worst prisons in the country and that type of shit. Oh yeah, I've seen a couple of them.

Yeah. And you just sit there watching it going, how the fuck would I go in there and not get raped? What would my game plan? He gets scared watching it in your bedroom. Women have to walk out of the house worried about that. That somebody's going to, you know, dude, just imagine if, if, uh... Dude, I had a winter hat on with a puffy ball on top of it holding ice skates, asking for

yogurt. If anything, she probably thought I was fucking gay. No. You don't look gay, Paul. I know, but we would just ask a question. Your beard's too terroristy. You need to get a little more metrosexual if you're going to do that. It was sweet.

Sweatpants on. Dude, we were a mess. Everybody on the fucking ground. Yeah, that's what you look like. My beard actually fucking says, everybody on the fucking ground. No, but dude, I don't like the pretty girl who can't be approached with a question because, oh, this guy's hitting on me. It's awful.

And you know something? The guy, especially the blonde one who went like shook her head like, what? She's going to be a nightmare. She's a fucking nightmare for some future guy. I'm telling you, she's a nightmare. She's already selfish. It's over. What if she just knows what she wants and we're not it?

Well, this is the thing, dude. You actually allowed, like, how old do you think they were? Probably 21, 22. Yeah. You let a 21, 22-year-old, that's a girl at my age. Not even a woman. The way she shook it off. You let her ruin, like, dude, we're driving down to Calgary.

Yeah, she ruined like a half hour. We got the Rocky Mountains on the right-hand side of the car and you're just still calling, you're calling her a cunt the whole way down. It bothered the shit out of me. It was like, why would you ask me? How would I know? Dude, do you realize how funny that is that they did that to us? Like what?

Like, yeah, they really made us feel like shit. That's fucking hilarious. If you look at it. It bothered me. And the whole time is because you wanted to get frozen yogurt? Dude, how funny would it be if we chased them down? Dude, you got frozen yogurt with sugar-free gummy bears on it. It was all natural.

No, organic gummy bears. How great would it be if we chased them down and I just walked up to her and I go, you know something? You hurt my feelings. And I just fucking broke down. You know, you hurt my feelings. I just wanted yogurt. By the way, the people listening here, this is last week, you know, just trying to make

jokes, do not go out of your mind being on tour this fucking long, is we were doing the danger field. I'll tell you, I got a friend of mine who loves yogurt, you know? So we were doing that. And once that went away, that got old somewhere along the line. You started doing it. You started saying really sentimental shit to me and then pretending like you were crying. And then that just became like the running joke.

And then you started laughing and then you were just like, you got to do that on stage. Do that crying thing. So now we'll just go up and like, if we'll be like, hey man, I'm tired, but dude, you know what, hanging what you on the road has been great. You're the only one I could have done it with and then Bill would come and tag it. I would just be like, I was hoping you were going to say that, but it's been, it's been fucking wonderful for my anger. I'm going to try to do that when I get home and just pretend like I'm crying, man.

It's fucking hilarious. So two stories. We go into eat and we have this Filipino waiter, right? By the way, I like to play the games where I said, what the hell were we? Was that Edmonton? Was that Calgary? I was Edmonton. Yeah, it was Edmonton.

So I like to do this thing where sometimes I like to fuck with people. I'll just get on a phone and I'll be like, Bill, go along with it and we'll be in an elevator and I'll go, what? No, that's horseshit. And like Bill just like, what happened? So like I said, like he had a parole officer called and he said, and Bill goes, oh, they worked it up. And then instantly Bergo's, yeah, but what about that videotape?

I go, no, no, they said it's insubmissible. And like, and like the guy, there's just a stranger there, right? Sometimes I break out laughing. So Bill calls it, he gets a little emotional guy. So we turn this crying thing we do into like, this has been great, right? We turn that into doing it in public. So we have this Filipino waiter, right? And the whole guy guy was great.

He was talking to us. And at the end I just go, he goes, here's your bill. And I go, I just want to say so. And I kept the dead straight face and I go, you've been a great waiter, man. And I put my hand on his fucking arm and I, you know, you bring in the waters. He just and Bill just looks at him goes, he gets a little, he gets a little emotional, you know, I mean, no, but it's been, it means a lot. Guy didn't know what to do.

Guy had no because he was so fucking polite. And he was actually from the Philippines. So you jumped right in perfectly. My friend, he gets a little emotional. I go, no, but Billy, he'd bring the waters. Oh, dude, he was freaked out though. No, that's the new game on the road. But you had the best one.

I got to say the best one was at the airport yesterday. We go to the airport yesterday and Bill starts busting my balls about my laundry. And he goes, Versey, fucking 16 days and you're carrying, you know, dirty socks and underwear. And I go, dude, I go, I bought new ones. You know, the dirty ones are tied up tight in a, in a plastic bag. And Bill just goes, just look at your emotions. And dude, I fucking could not walk. I couldn't walk and I had to stop pulling my fucking, my bag.

I checked because we were laughing so hard. And it works though. It makes it, it makes it's fucking great. It's driving our tour manager nuts. Oh yeah. That's the one thing we got. Well, because women don't want to see a guy getting emotional like that. It's just, well, no, because once somebody cries, it's over.

Yeah. Like when I go out afterwards and I'm taking pictures with people and stuff, I always come back and I was just saying, I gotta tell you, you know, I've seen a lot of people do that, you know, doing the picture thing, but you gotta be one of the best. She's going, would you stop fucking doing that? Our wives are going to go nuts because, you know, the first thing I want when I see stays and you see your wife, we're just going to go, it's been so long.

I missed you so much. No, you got to, you got to set it up with talking. Like you got to start off normal like that. You're going to say something really sentimental to them. So they're almost crying and then you cry, which ruins their crying. And I swear to God, you get slugged in the shoulder, which is all you really want. How many minutes in here? I think it's time to do a little advertising here.

You know, OK, what have we got? Did I just shut it off? No, I didn't. Oh, shit, 20 minutes in. I'll tell you, Paul, you know, time really flies with you on the podcast. It's been so fun. This is probably only funny to us, but I don't give a shit. Try it with your friends. Oh, fuck that if people want to laugh at you.

The game is called, he gets emotional and just walk into a bar, just have one of your friends start hitting on a woman and then and then the other friends got to go along. Yeah. And then just starts well enough. And then the other guy goes, I'm sorry, he just gets emotional. And he just got to let the other person deal with it. Dude, you're one at the fucking airport when you walked up to that lady at the car, the little fucking I sell gum,

whatever the hell it is. And she said, excuse me, do you have the one of the biggest? No, I broke out. I go, hey, man, what are the biggest condoms you got? Yeah, what's the biggest size condoms you have? I turn around and walk the way and you turned around and walked away. And I'm just staring at her and I'm biting my tongue as hard as I can to not laugh.

And then I just burst out laughing and she said, what? And then when you went to repeat it, you just started to try to point to it. And I lost it. You lost it and it had to walk away. Paul, we're punch drunk out here. All right, I got to do a little. Got to do some advertising here. OK, Hulu Plus, everybody, you've probably tried Hulu dot com. This is new. This is Hulu Plus.

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Back to the podcast. Then we go back to the podcast. All right. I'll tell you what. I haven't enjoyed up here. Oh, let me tell you. Dude, they show fucking hockey highlights. You can't believe I'm not watching any games because I'm traveling and I'm totally staying up on it like, you know, like that

Sunday night when they show all the football highlights, it's incredible. Everywhere we've gone down to sit. There's been a TV within our right there. Staying right up on it. I'm watching the Bruins win. I'm watching Tyler Sagan having a great year, but they got smoked by the Savers. I watched the Flyers highlights have a big win over over. The Penguins.

I know Vancouver just beat Luongo down in Florida. I know that fucking old flashy toes. There is back between the pipes in Montreal. Price. Yeah. Hey, look at me now. Vanneke got his first goal as a Canadian. I'm sitting there watching this, Paul, as I'm having a beer with you and an Irish coffee and a pub around the corner. And my listeners know that I never drink on St. Patrick's Day.

It's fucking amateur night to use Jackie Gleason's famous phrase. Not if you do it early enough, though. I think it's amateur hour tonight. Listen, not if, but we'll be there. Not if you're in your hotel and all of a sudden they say there's a gas leak and you can fucking smell it. Oh, how about that? You have to run down the stairs. Then what are you supposed to do? How about that? You left half your shit in the room

and you walk up the street and there's a guy with bagpipes playing. The green alligator, the lonely goose, you're not going to go in there. You know, I'm glad you were had to look at the band. I'm glad that you're you're my vantage point with my back to them and you had to look because when she went into that like Irish hip hop beat and I just turned for a second, so her like jumping up and down. I just I probably would have lost. Oh, yeah. He's going like it.

You said where you go, dude, I hope this is good, because if it's not, I'm just going to have to stare at my beer. Yeah, because she she intruded and it was good. I just had a brutal version of it, but it was more saying that was OK. They were actually very saying this is like Scottish beatboxing. And I just looked at Paul and I go, Paul, she's about to do Scottish beatboxing from the old country. And I go, this is either going to be amazing

or I'm going to have to sit here staring at my beer. Vancouver is awesome. Praying for it to be over. Well, let's go to the gas leak. So we're sitting here in the hotel. Oh, yeah. And, you know, I know Versey is not a morning person. I have not called you one. I haven't woken you up other than before going to the airport just to make sure you're coming.

So if we have a day off, I don't fuck with you. I let you wake up. Yeah, yes, it's a great. It's great. I don't poke the bear. So I know that we're going to do the podcast. We were going to try to do it around 12 noon here. And I'm trying to sleep off this little cold that I've caught. But all of a sudden you you call me.

I'm like, oh, great, Versey's up. And then you're like, do you hear what's going on? There's a gas leak in the building. They told us to get out of here. And I'm just sitting there like. No, I was walking out to go get lunch. And all of a sudden I see a construction worker come in footing and he just runs in. He goes, hey, yeah, running.

We got running like it scared me as I'm walking out. He just goes, hey, we got a gas and I just smell and there's a hundred construction workers outside and just warning people to run down the street. It was like a fucking scene. So I'm going, oh, shit, Bill's up there. So let me call Bill. It's a friend I am.

They say shit that you thought about me. So so I call Bill and I go, dude, you got to I go, there's a gas leak and it smells. You got they're going to probably evacuate. You go, you cut me off. You heard gas leak and they're probably going to evacuate. You go, dude, I'm on my way down. Yeah, you got the fuck.

You got the fuck out of there. I don't mind getting blown up. I'm worried about burning to death. So I had to get the fuck out of this. So I'm grabbing everything and I'm sitting and going, I got to get out. I got to get out of here and I grab my watch. I'm like, that's going to be the move right there

that fucking kills me. So I go outside, you know, try to find the exit. I'm running down the thing. When I got to the right to right where I go, I'm on the fifth floor. OK, these construction guys were working on some sort of line in the street and somebody fucked up and hit something. Yeah.

So I got right to the fire escape doors, dude, and it smelled like when you go to light a grill and you think you have some juice left in your automatic lighter and there isn't. And you just take that extra three seconds to find some matches and then you light it and it goes, you know, whoa, what the fuck? That's what it smelled like a little more intense.

And I'm thinking, I'm on the fifth floor, this fucking place. So I ran down those stairs and went out the side. And then I got out the side of the building thinking, OK, I'm safe and I still smelled it almost worse. And I was standing right outside the hotel trying to find you and I could still smell it. I'm like, if this whole fucking thing's going up, I'm going to get knocked on my ass here because at the least

because I can still smell this shit. I got a hat on with the pom-pom, Paul. I'm going to go up like a fucking bowling alley. So then they finally told all of us to get the hell out of the way. And we backed up, we went down the street, we got some breakfast and I thought it was a really nice moment. It's never not funny. The nice thing is you got the out here.

You wouldn't have burned, right with the balcony? Because I have a balcony on the fifth floor and then there's like a patio right on the other side of it. I don't know, Paul, when you're on fire. I don't mind blowing up. I just don't want to burn to death. Well, I have to change. No, that's fucking awful.

Yeah, if there's an explosion, I want to die. I don't want to be coming out, you know, running down the street like that naked girl in the Vietnam picture. That girl, like, she got burned by fucking Agent Orange. That's what she's running down the street because skin is hanging off her fucking backside. Horrible. It's fucking horrible, Paul.

Yeah, but how great is Vancouver? Yeah, now that we got the image of a naked girl running down the street on fire. Yeah, that's all. But that's what I was thinking of. Yeah, now that's. Sorry, that image touched me when I saw it. Nobody should die like that.

I swear to God, I hope they're finding this funny. This is going to be the most annoying podcast ever. Whatever, fuck you. You go to Canada for 20 days, dancing like a monkey. You'd have to come up with some shit, too. We get emotional. Vancouver, yeah, Vancouver's great. Love it.

I loved Edmonton. Calgary, unfortunately, I didn't get a chance. Like, that's street right outside our hotel man and all these bars and all these great places to eat. Really, really fucking fun towns. And when I was in Winnipeg. Oh, Winnipeg was rough, you know? No, let me tell you, those people are tough, OK?

Well, I saw it got the other day. I don't have to finish it. No, dude, Winnipeg was like, you know me, I don't like to fly. After Winnipeg, I was like, let's go to the airport. And the people were great. And the food was great. But there's no way, that part of the world

to live there in the wintertime, you have to be a special kind of tough, or you're out the second you turn 18. Like, fuck you, parents. You're out. Yeah, no, the people were great. The food was great. We had great food.

Food was outstanding. Was that that tortilla I had, which is a French-Canadian meat pie with a flaky crust? They had the crust underneath. They didn't skimp on that. Sometimes you're ordered a shepherd pie or a meat pie, and they just fucking cook up the meat, stick it in a bowl, and then they put just the dough on the top.

Yeah, and I had that. I want this thing. You know, I want both parents to be there, right? The one on top and on the bottom, right? Just nestling that fucking thing. And you gave me a piece of it. It was unreal. Dude, I had chicken salad to make you cry.

You know, it was great. We had great food over there. Did you get emotional, Paul? I've tasted a lot of things, but that was. No, I, yeah, but my, you know, I loved the room last night. I loved that. Like, it's kind of like a beacon theater right up front. That's what I loved.

Edmonton was like long. Edmonton room almost was like Carnegie. It was just deep and layers. I was on that night, dude. I went out there and the fucking ADD was working to my, sometimes it fucks me up. It was working great. Dude, Edmonton fucking just shuffled the deck of all my jokes.

And then that made me say other shit. And I was just like one of those things where I felt like I was on stage for five minutes on that one. No, dude, you, Edmonton was, that was fucking all the Edmonton. Actually, I had a showstopper where like, I mean, we're in vaudeville. I had a fucking, this guy's a showstopper. No, I had a real triple threat.

No, I had a bad showstopper. I'm saying that in a bad way. You fucking, that was my fault. I shouldn't have told you to do that. I did that joke where I was just like, you know, women, you know, you guys get personal trainers and you, you know, you go all out for your wedding picture and your wedding day and you look great, you look like an Olympian.

And then I go, and then it just kind of falls apart. But like, and the place just fucking stopped. Yeah, someone in the crowd went, wow. Somebody, no, somebody goes, oh my God. And like, I had the bit I did before it killed. And then I did that and I go, no, no. And I kind of saved it when I go, no, what I'm saying is like, you should just come down the aisle

the way you're going to be. Like what I'm going to be looking at for the next 40 or 50 years. And like half of them laugh, but I was just like somebody was like, well, so then I told you afterwards and the look on your face, you were just like, wow. Yeah, but I was the idiot. You said it to me in the restaurant, it was funny to me.

So I said, dude, you got to do that on stage. And then somehow the way you said that you said it, I was just like, I mean, that's fucking, let me that the other dude. I mean, you can't, women have to, they have to give birth. Can you imagine that? No, that's what I mean. No matter what the fuck you do,

you stay in shape, you do all that. And then if you're going to have another kid, you're basically going to have to go through that. And what that they ain't. No, what I'm saying is, how could you? No, what I'm saying is, and this is what I'm saying. I know women do, and my wife, it looks great. She had two kids and everything.

And I know women go through a lot of shit and have kids. I'm saying, don't put on that show for everybody else. Be who the fuck you're going to be. It's the same way people clean up for company. Like what, the regular family's not good. And Betty, who we don't see ever, who's coming over once a fucking year, is what you got to get on your hands and knees

with a toothpick or a toothbrush. You know what, I'll go with this. It does suck when it's somebody that you don't give a shit about, and your wife's saying, we got to clean this fucking place up. And they're going all, it isn't just like, okay, let me, let's just pick a room

that we throw all the shit in and close the door. Like you, they actually want you to clean up that. They're coming in from Maryland. I don't give a fuck. I'm not going to see him again. Right. You know? Right, but as far as I'm looking good on the wind, I want them to look as good as they can.

I want to look good. I know, I was trying to do a joke and a fucking backfire. Paul, I wasn't there for you as a friend, you know? And I'll tell you, that's going to haunt me forever. Yeah, but what was the name of that theater that we played in Winnipeg, man? Burton Cummings?

Yeah, that play, it was, it was, it was, I got a little, some of the history of that. That place was made in 1908. Yeah. And they had these fucking stairs in the back. Now everybody, Charlie Chaplin, who's the guy there? Fatty Arbuckle?

Harry Houdini, all these, it was a vaudeville theater for like the first 30 years before the talkies took over, see? And they still had like the original stairs in the back when you walked up to the green room. And these are like slabs. I don't know what kind of stone it is, but from years of people walking up in it,

where you basically you put your feet, there was like these indentations from people scuffing up as they were walking up or coming down. How high did it go, remember? Yeah, and then outside the upper deck of it, I guess the mezzanine in the upper deck, they used to have pews all the way through them, and then they put seats in at some point,

but in the upper deck, they still had these wooden pews. And during my set, because the acoustics are incredible, if he's talking 1908, I mean, I don't think they could really amplify voice at that point, could they? I don't know. Yeah, we don't know, we're idiots, but I don't think they could.

So it was acoustically perfect building. So when people were way up in that upper deck, we're talking like an old hockey barn, for hockey fans there, or basketball fans, where you felt like if you leaned too far forward, you'd fall right on the emblem at center ice or center court, and these people would walk down, and it's making that sound like,

you know, almost like an old chair, makes all that rickety shit, and it sounded like it was right above me, and I was sitting there going, are these fucking union guys walking around, making noise during my show, and I kept making jokes, like that they were already changing the marquee,

and they were over me, and what it was, was people in that upper deck were walking down, just to go to the bathroom and get a drink, but the acoustics were so unbelievable, and it was so fucking steep, it sounded like it was right above my head. Yeah.

It was amazing, that was one of my, That place was old school, man. Yeah, I like old shit, dude. So I actually walked up there at the end of my show. I wish you did it, dude. It was, it reminded me, there's one in Seattle that we did the Moor Theater, where I think they shot the video for,

Even Floor, When I hold it, Hey, hey, hey, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Boom, bucket jacket, boom, that one, right? When he's fucking hanging, and he's looking like he's bleary eyed, you know? Like he's crazy, but he isn't,

he knows exactly what he's doing, he already knows he wants to fire his drummer. We played that one, and that one was really interesting, where just like this one that we played in Winnipeg, they have separate entrances for the upper deck, I don't know if they had segregation up here, but in Seattle, that was what that was for.

That upper deck, you had a completely separate entrance, no fucking elevator, and you just walked up flight after flight after flight, and these were serious flights, like 14 groupings. You know, two groups are like 14 to get to one floor, all the way, all the way, all the way up, and I was joking with the guy going, this is why African-Americans

kick the shit out of white people in sports, because we just strolled into the theater, and just have a seat, got to do like the fucking Stairmaster, all the way up and come back down, just to see a fucking show. And that's like insanely high, man, like that was scary high.

But when you say steep, it's like you don't want to lean forward, like steep, like you'll fucking, it was scary. Yeah, like I would not want to be like hammered, up there, up there, and then, you know, smoke a little joint or something, something or smoke a cigar that made me fucking lightheaded. I would just be like, I mean, if I had to leave,

I would go hands and knees backwards, down like a little toddler goes downstairs. That's how I would exit with the fear. You like the Burton Cummings one? I think the Vogue last night was one of my favorites, man. Oh, dude, those are two great crowds, too. Yeah, yeah. And we're not shitting on Calgary, by the way,

it was just that second show, dude. It's been a while since I've been in front of people that drunk, but we had another amazing week. Now, when do we play hockey? Oh, wait, we went to the Bruins-Canadians game. Yeah. What is the name of that place, Molson Center? They changed it.

They changed it. Whatever the fuck it is now, you know, I don't know, some sort of cellular company, but it's just an amazing place to go to when you see all those retired numbers, all those Stanley Cup banners, and just how into it people are. There was some people leaving early down below.

That kind of disappointed me. Well, I mean, but it was a beatdown. It was a beatdown. Bruins fucking killed it. You downed three goals in the third period. Hey, and I wasn't obnoxious either. I didn't like the guy who brought me to it. He was a Canadians fan.

He said, hey, we're going to go into this, you know, the famous, I don't know, one of the levels there, the mezzanine level, they have this pub. And the guy hooked us up with the ticket, said, listen, I know he's a big Bruins fan, but I respect kids. You just not wear stuff.

It gets weird when you go in there. I was just like, yeah, absolutely. I'm not going to fucking do that. Yeah. You know, I'm going to stand up and cheer when we score, but I'm not going to be that asshole going, yeah. Yeah. In the face.

You know, giving them shit or whatever. I'm not going to do that. No, no. Yeah, yeah. So I just sat there and I thoroughly fucking enjoyed it. But earlier that day, we actually, some of the guys from Just For Laugh, Bruce Hill, hooked us up with some ice time.

And I got the shit kicked out of me. Yeah. And Verzi played hockey for the first time. We played at this, you know, they got a zillion rinks out there. And there was a old Canadian, Stephon Cantel, who played, you know, back when I was first going to games and shit like that, or maybe five years into when I started

going to games and he somehow, I forget how it was, but his jersey was framed there. So anyways, we played on this little sort of mini rink where you had the floating blue line, you bring it to the zone, then the red line becomes the blue line. And I gotta tell you, Verzi, fucking animal. He's out there with just gloves, a stick and a helmet.

Dude, you had like three shots on net on, I mean, I don't know if you try to like try to tap rebounds in his shots on that. I don't know how that fucking works, but dude, you had like three and one shift. And I was sitting there laughing on the bench, go this fucking guy's got more shots on net and one shift. Well, one of the guys was like, dude,

I said like, we were talking like maybe throughout the whole game, I might have had like 12 shots on, but I didn't know how to stop. I got the shit kicked out of me. I'm falling down and everyone's got pads, but me. So I'm the most novice in this thing. All right. And the only thing I had was gloves and a helmet.

I'm falling on my knees and elbow getting, and like, it was so legit that there were two locker rooms. You had your own jerseys. There was a timer. These guys had shifts and I'm getting thrown into this thing. Okay, I haven't been on the ice. Now you know why I've been dragging all my stuff up here because it's like, if we're gonna play,

I want to make sure I'm protected and I'm not gonna wear somebody else's smelly stuff. That's fucking, that's gross, dude. That's like the pad version of using your buddy's toothbrush. It's gross. And typical me, I'm like, I don't know how to play, but I just know scoring position from floor hockey.

So I just would go down, get into scoring position, not know how to stop and just fucking get the shit kicked out of me. I'll tell you this, one thing a coach would never have to tell you is go to the net. That's all you did. The second your team, the second your team got the puck. I just went to the net.

You didn't understand off sides though. You were off sides a couple of times, what the fuck? Dude, you would just put your head down and just start skating and you had your stick on the ice. The wrong way, because every time I shot, I would have needed a lefty stick. So I had the righty stick, which had an opposite. And I kept doing backhands with the wrong stick,

but I didn't get the post on that one. Your backhand was lethal because you had a right-handed stick. Everybody thought you were right-handed. He's going down and going, look at this fucking guy. He's got all these shots in the neck. And he's playing left-handed with a right-handed stick. Was that all right?

Yeah, yeah, no, no. You're good, man. You're good at it. I was talking to him. Oh, thank you. I was hoping you were going to say something, because I'm a little self-conscious about it. I definitely recognized it.

I skate all right until I get the puck. I swear to God, dude, it all falls apart. You know what's the funniest thing when I play with guys? It's two passes to me before my. Before my whole team figures it out. And then it's just like, then I have to be literally going across the blue line screaming, believe in me.

Something to get the fucking puck back. But they know. No, but you had some good passes shot on goal. I like playing D. There was a 13-year-old kid there. There was a 14-year-old kid there. And I just was like, but I almost hurt myself. Remember I slammed my head, dude?

Yeah, that was bad. I was like, no, I knew you were going to be so everyone's saying, hey, go take some Advil. And you're like, no, I do. I feel fine. I feel fine. And when you fall, like the way you were falling, those are those deep fucking bruises.

And they don't show up for at least 24 hours. The best thing Bruce did, he goes, dude, you don't want a concussion. And he brings me a helmet. And I slip back. Oh, dude, if you, if the way you fell. On my head, dude, that would, I would have been over. Oh yeah, that would have had that awful.

That fucking sound of a head hitting the, back of a head hitting the ice. Oh my God. I fell so bad one time, somebody's skating by. I thought it was you. Somebody just goes, you got air on that one. Like I was getting the shit kicked out of me. But this is the thing though, you were doing it to yourself.

Just let people know. It's not like people were knocking them down. This was a non-contact game. Paul would just go, head of fucking steam. Like you were going to run the goalie or something. I never, the best compliment I got was when I, somebody goes, I go, I never played ice hockey before. And it was like, wow, you got good balance.

And I was like, have you been watching? Yeah, I know, right? Hey, let me do, let me do a advertising. We got some, we got some great questions this week. All right, stamps.com everybody. I know it's tough deciding where to focus your resources to grow your business. But one thing I can tell you,

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Legal zoom, promo code Burr. There you go, I'm up two games to one. All right, back to the podcast here. Oh, before I go any further, everybody, one of my favorite comics that's on his way up the comedy ladder, Tom Segura from your mom's house podcast right here on the All Things Comedy Network

that he does with his lovely and absolutely fucking hilarious wife, Christina Pazitzky. I'm the worst trying to read. Tom has a new special out called Completely Normal that you can download as of March 15th on iTunes. I love this guy because he's just one of those, he doesn't give a shit in a good way.

Like he goes out, he's not afraid of silence. He has something to say. Dude, him and his wife, arguably, okay? I know Burns and Allen, fuck them, okay? You wanna go with these two, they crush it. Like we have like those All Things Comedy shows, sometimes we were doing them down at Luna and Christina came down one night

and absolutely just fucking destroyed. I'm trying to think we had Tom down there too. I've watched Tom at The Improv Forever, but he's the real deal and he's on his way to making his mark and he has a new comedy special out. Like I said, Completely Normal, so check it out. All right, first question of the week and Paul, I know you're gonna love this one

because you've been absolutely obsessed with this. This says, the name of the question is Where's the Plain? Oh yeah, let's go. He says, Bill, using whatever knowledge you have of the situation, whether it be a lot or a little, please break down what happened on that plane. This is right up my alley.

First of all, I've been annoying you. And you hate flying. I'll tell you, we know what's annoying is I have to blow my nose because I'm coming on with the cold. So why don't you start? As I walk over here to blow my nose off, Mike, because I'm a professional.

What do you think, Paul? You're the guest, I'll let you go first. Here, would you like a glass? Go ahead, what do you think? I think that, I think obviously the plane was hijacked. I think that's why the, you know, it's hard to... Sorry. You can hear that on the mic.

Yeah, a little bit. I think the plane was hijacked. Of course, I think that's why there was, the communication was cut out and then they have proof that it kind of diverted and changed its course and then nobody heard anything. I think the fact that the fucking thing is not in the water, there's 230 people on a 777.

I flew that, I've flown in a 777 to Italy. Oh yeah, that's your nickname, Paul, 777. Yeah, I mean, that's what I fly in. No, and there was... I won't go unless it's a 777. If it's not a 7, yeah, it's glass, it's glass, the whole way. It's a lucky number, you know.

You think I'm in that 737, you nuts? No, so there was no debris, nothing. So I don't think that the, I think that the plane, they said that the plane could have flown for six hours after they lost contact. That fucking thing could be anywhere right now. There's gonna be a movie about this. I think, I hope they didn't off everybody, you know,

God forbid, but I think the plane landed somewhere and was hidden and then I think the people that did it, I think, I don't know what they did with the people, but you know, I don't think it's in the ocean, so. All right, let's, you know, come on, you gotta put some money on. Well listen, what country are you picking? Kazakhstan?

They said it could have gone as far as Kazakhstan. Tezikistan, all of those stans? Let's have Borat Kazakhstan. I think, yeah dude, I think that it landed somewhere and it's fucking, it's just an awful situation, but. I, this is what I think. It's the aliens, Bill. You think so?

I don't know. I think with each day that passes, that there's no sort of demand or anything like that, I'm thinking more, unfortunately, and I don't know, sadistically or whatever, they flew it way off course and I don't know, I mean, how, unless you dump a plane in like the shipping lanes, what is the odds?

The planes have a beacon, planes have a beacon. But it was turned off. I mean, I don't know, there's something that, where they can track it was fucking turned off and the people knew how to do it. So I think with every passing day, like it's not a good, like there's no demands, it's just really weird that if, you know, there's always some crazy reason

to draw attention to something that someone does something like this, the fact, the only hope that I have is the fact that they haven't asked for any demands yet, is, I don't know, I mean, what, you wanted the plane? I mean, what the fuck, you know? How fucked up is your country? You can't get a 777, Christ, they're laying

all over the place. But what's the motive of the hijackers? I don't know, but I really felt for the family members because they're sitting there and they're talking about the airline. Now the airline is handling this like a business rather than, you know, what is going on? And they go, we can't comment on anything right now

because basically, you know, it's a corporation. They're like, we're gonna get the shit suit out of us. Let's try to limit how much we're gonna get the shit suit. Like they go into that fucking mode. Yeah. But it's one of those awful things where, you know, also, you know, the victims are gonna go into, we're gonna sue the shit out of you mode.

So it's just like, if people could just, in this moment, if the airline could be allowed to just say, we're fucking devastated. I mean, we had employees on that plane too, you know, and they could, everybody could just share information. And there wouldn't be that stupid, you know, lawyers licking their chops on both sides or one cowering and the other guy,

other side licking their chops. Maybe they could at least make it a little more comforting for those people. But it's, you know, I guess there's no comedy here, dude. It's fucking awful. I just feel bad for, you know, there's kids on there and shit, man. It's fucked up, man.

It's awful. And it's one of the most unprecedented mysteries. Like a 777 with fucking 230 people has disappeared and nobody knows where it is and the airlines don't have answers. And 10 countries had their navies fucking just scowled by the fucking ocean and nobody could find it. Right.

It's crazy, man. Well, I mean, there's a kind of good thing there that maybe they're still alive and there's something you can do to negotiate. But the thing about trying to land a plane like that, it's not like you could just go to some bootleg fucking airstrip. I mean, you need a lot of fucking runway

to land something that big. It's not like you could go to fucking, you know, some little ass, you know. Unless they had it planned. Unless they had it planned in a hangar. Yeah, but then what the fuck? So what are you doing? Okay, you got us.

You took the fucking plane. You took the people. What do you want? Where are the people? It's annoying. I mean, they think, I mean, I wonder if they had a plan and then something shut everything off and then something else went wrong.

How I mean, because they gotta be looking at satellite footage, like say even like remote areas, jungles and shit, looking for pictures of smoke and fire, something to try and find the fucking thing. I mean, look, the biggest mystery still on the planet is the ocean. So I think that that's where it is. It's at the bottom of the fucking ocean

in some place where we can't find it. I hope it isn't, but that's what I would guess. Just for the simple fact that it's just weird that nobody claimed responsibility. There's no ransom demands. I mean, how do you sneak a fucking 777 into something? With the amount of fuel they had, they know the distance it could go.

There had to be something, dude. There had to be something. The fact that it's not, it should be on every fucking, I don't think that there's enough coverage of it. They got a picture of Justin. You know what, they, what the fuck? They probably would be a lot. Well, at some point when there's no new information,

it becomes like this fucking 250, 270 person cold case file that they're trying to find. It's insane. It's fucking insane. It is, it is. And that's why I kept asking you every day, we'd go hang out and Bill would go, Paul, I can't fucking, you keep talking about it.

And I'm like, I can't get it. I don't get it. Because you got this obsession with fucking planes and safety, you know, cause you're afraid to fly it. I don't fucking think about shit like that. And now your fear is starting to rub off me. I'm getting scared when I go to the airport. I didn't mean to project my fears on you.

It's okay. You're only human. All right. Whatever. I really hope that that ends, you know, I hope there's some sort of Chuck Norris Delta Force thing that ends it fucking happily. But that is a rough, oh my God,

fucking poor people. They got to just sit there wondering when, when, what's going on? Are they suffering now? What's going on? It's terrible. All right, great question, buddy. All right, what's your beef?

Dear farmer Bill, if you could only eat one type of meat and one type of vegetable for the rest of your life, what would they be? Got to figure some choices are more versatile in the kitchen. All right. I wouldn't go fish because I would worry that I'd get the mercury thing. Um, I couldn't go red meat because I end up like John Wayne.

Chicken is all slimy in your fucking entrails. I would have to go, uh, what else is there? Turkey? I go Turkey. I'd go chicken because if you cook it, if you cook it enough, like you'll get any kind of, but yeah, you're right. The mercury in the fish, red meat, your bow,

your fucking mercury in the fish. And God knows what that meltdown in Japan has done to the fucking sushi. Jesus. I had sushi yesterday, man. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I love fucking sushi.

You know, you have to pull, you know, you're not going to have sushi. But, uh, no, I'd go chicken and vegetable. I hate vegetables. So I, man, it's maybe spinach, a little garlic. You know, I love vegetables. Oh, that would actually make me fucking sad. If I could, this is like fucking sad.

So I guess I would have Turkey every day with, uh, I almost want to pick a vegetable that I don't love because I don't want to end up hating it because I have to eat it every day. Cauliflower. Every day for the rest of your fucking, I'm already hate that shit. No, cauliflower is,

unless they make the cauliflower mashed potatoes, that's not, that's not bad. But the only reason why it's not bad is cause you got all the butter and salt and pepper in there. Yeah, but he didn't, yeah. I mean, I would go Turkey cause I could make a turkey sandwich. I could make Turkey sausage.

I could make shrimp, this, shrimp, that. I, we saw that guy in Montreal. I know. On that actor. We were in the elevator with Bubba. Bubba Gump. I only saw that movie once. Yeah, I walked in there and I was like, oh shit.

And then we walked out. I was like, you know who that was, dude? I was like, yeah, he was in heat. He was, that was fucking. And he was funny and really friendly too. He was funny and insanely friendly. And, uh, and then I wanted to go up and say something or invite him to a show.

And I was just like, let me fucking leave this guy alone. You said you saw another, there was a bunch of people, they were filming a movie in a hotel. Turkey bacon? I think all the different fucking ways I could do it. Well, you wouldn't go Turkey. Turkey would be a nightmare. After your fifth turkey sandwich,

you'd be like, I fucked up. You have to chicken every fucking day. Chicken, chicken parmesan, chicken scampi. You're doing what I just did. Chicken, chicken, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey. You're going turkey sandwich, turkey sausage. I'm talking, you can put marinara with melted mozzarella.

That's fucking, that's good for a month. You know, then you switch it up. Every fucking day, you'd be a tub of shit. You'd be a tub of shit, dude. Do you need chicken, palm every other day? You wouldn't be a tub of shit if you eat chicken every day. You know, you gotta mix it up. Chicken, palm with all the pasta and all that shit.

No, no, I gotta mix. You're mixing bread, you're red wine, discussing crimes, whatever you Sicilians do. I guess I would go Turkey. I love a turkey sandwich and I think chicken's overrated. And then just the shit that, you know, chickens, you know, you got the salmonella, you got all that fucking shit with that, you know?

Oh, there's a problem with everything. We don't pull, maybe I have a problem with you. You ever think that? No. I'd go chicken spinach. I would go turkey. Yeah, but turkey really doesn't go, go with a vegetable. Chicken spinach is a good one.

Ah, Christ, Paul, you're better at this than I am. All right, dude, you're a fucking, you committed some crazy fucking murder. Yeah. You're on death row, you got your final meal. What are you gonna have? Oh, oh shit, man. No, let me tell you, that's a rough one, you know?

That was so funny, you asked me that. I had to actually lean back in the chair for that one. That's tough, man. This is assuming you could eat. Okay. You weren't so nauseous that they're gonna fucking kill me here. Yeah, I never understood that. They showed a list of what all the serial killers got,

and like one guy, well, like one guy, like Bundy, or one of those guys just got an apple, but another guy got fucking like he wanted a whole pie with like pepperoni, he wanted sandwiches, and like he got the whole thing, like he just like everything. That's a true fucking life. Crazy man. Yeah.

To be able to sit, you know. He's at a food court. Like the guy eating an apple, he's probably just like, let me just taste one last thing. So Ted Bundy was a fucking angel. I don't know if it was Bundy. It might have been that McVeigh guy that blew up. No, Timothy McVeigh, and I remember this,

he got a pint of mint chocolate chip, and that stuck with me because I was like, I love mint chocolate chip, and I eat a pint all the time. And that actually seemed like if someone was gonna fucking kill me, and I don't have any sympathy for these fucking people either, but I'm just saying, if someone's gonna kill me,

you know, I know we're fucking gonna kill you at this time, and it's coming up. I want something that's gonna be a little easy on my stomach, and for some reason, I just think ice cream would be nice. I just be comforting. I'm just comforting. I'm just comforting.

I'm just comforting. I'm just comforting. Dude, I love chicken cutlets, man. Like I know, like my mind, right when you ask a question, I'm thinking Italian or sushi, because I love it, but I love chicken cutlets with lemon squeezed on them, so I might do like a shitload of chicken cutlets. You just said chicken, and I just thought chicken and dumplings,

which I haven't had long. Is anything better than dumplings? Dumplings are great. Chicken and dumplings, but then the mint chocolate chip, they wouldn't go good with the debt. Dude, did I let you drink? Did I let you drink? On what?

Like on your last meal, if you ordered a bottle of red. Because that would be funny if you were hammered. All right, what do you got? Let's do this. Fuck you. Fuck you. You guys are looking who. You're gonna kill the killer, you fucking pussy.

Yeah. Yeah, you got enough guys? All my murders were one-on-one. Look at you guys. Five-on-one. What are the odds? Now you feel good about yourself? I don't think they like you.

You feel successful? Hang your head on this one. I don't think they let them drink. That'd be fucking great. Well, you guys all have the same clothes on. Would you all call each other? Making the other psychos laughing as you're leaving? Show me the way to go home.

That judge was a fucking fag. That's what you would do. You would just start talking shit. Oh, the DA, he did good. It only took his eight years. You go into the death chamber and all the fucking family members are looking. You guys do stuff too. All he did to me and you was I got caught.

That's all I'm saying. How you doing, sweetheart? That'd be fucking amazing. Oh, dude. That'd be hilarious. Just walking out. Hey, buddy, buddy, before you do it, buddy, you know the way they keep asking the question, buddy, buddy,

it only took you five years. I had those hookers in the attic forever. This is so bad. There's been a couple of guys, some of the last words. One of the guys, his last name was French, and he yelled over the reporters. He goes, hey, and he was going to the electric chair. He goes, hey, I got your headline for tomorrow.

He goes, French fries. He's like laughs, and then they electrocuted him. Dude, did you see the one guy that they did it to? And he fucking, they thought he was frightened. He fucking, he popped up and he was like fucking, he popped up like in a fucking horror movie. He was like a big guy and he didn't, it didn't take. They electrocuted him and they're all sitting there.

Was that that Tom Hanks movie? That really happened? No, no, a guy, they showed it on, they showed it on one of those shows where they jolted him and like normally like the normal person's out. What show? And he just went, it was like one of those death row, or like it was like a, you know, people protesting outside.

I thought you were dead on Discovery Channel. No, no. And he like popped up for a second. They popped up part two. No, I'm telling you. Scared the shit out of the fucking. You gotta make sure they're dead, you know. Got a friend of mine, you can electrocute them.

You can take a beating. Oh, this guy's rough. Okay. Why they put him in the electric chair? You got right back up, okay. Boy, I got a friend, he's tough. Sometimes I wish I was tougher. We all do, Bill.

We're not high people. We're not drunk. This is what we've done. Dude, if I was, if I was higher now, I'd be fucking losing my mind. All right. Sad music. Oh, this is right up our alley.

Why'd you bring it up? All right. Sad music. Dear Bill, from what you talk about on the, from what you talk about on the podcast, it seems like you're mostly into classic rock and music that involves really talented musicians. Do you ever listen to emotional music?

I mean, like a sad acoustic track or just anything depressing. Versi's already losing it. If so, do you put it on when you're sad or when you're happy? No, I don't know. I listen to that stuff. Sometimes I'll have to get emotional when I'm in the car. What song are we singing in the car? Just once.

I'm going to try to make it last forever. Just one night. Try to do something else and something, something, something. We were doing that. Oh, we were saying we'd say that to our wives one time when they were like bitching at us. How come you blah, blah, blah, blah? It's in the middle of them yelling.

Just go. You just stare at them and just go, just once. I wish you'd shut the fuck up pot. Take a shower. Why does there always have to be something to do? Can't we just lie around the house just once? You know, Paul, you keep procrastinating and you're sleeping late and the kids are up.

Just once. I wish you'd let me sleep in and keep sleeping. Shut your mouth. You fucking talk all the time and you have nothing to say, lady. All right. Sorry. Sad music.

Do I listen to sad music? Yeah. Probably the first sad songs I listened to other than Elton John where he was a little too on the head. What do you consider sad though? Like that's what I want to know. AC DC ride on. Lonely guy on the road.

That was probably my first one. Dude, every fucking heavy metal band had those home sweet homes. I'll tell you what's sad. Do you want to know what's a sad one? We never did. We're halfway there. We've been on a trip. What's a sad song?

I don't know. Cats in the cradle. You're going rock though. I'm thinking more of like the just once. We can't go hip-hop. Hip-hop, you can't do a sad song. They try to do emotional rap. Remember that?

Yeah. And some people still try. Yeah. Like that guy Drake, man. I just like, I mean, I get it. Yeah. You know, good looking guys, got a beard and shit. So women like him.

But like when it just gets to, I don't want to hear like, I don't want to hear a rapper open it up. No, rappers try to open up when one of their rapper friends dies. But it's never really sad. You're more just like, you know, they'll just be like, you know, they just rapping. You know, they're pouring out a 40 for him. That's like the most they'll do. Yeah.

I like that. Keep it like that. Nobody was better than you. Like it's like that. You can't get, you know. One of my favorite things in this business was Opie from the Opie and Anthony show was he had this thing that he would do when guys would start crying, when they would play audio. Yeah.

Oh my God. It was fun. And his timing was perfect every time. Someone would be talking like retiring from a sport, like when Mike Schmidt retired, which is, you know, it's very difficult to watch. He was like, you know, you know, he just was ending is like 38 years ago. A little boy began a journey to play the wonderful game of baseball. Opie would always go, Oh boy.

What am I favorite? Oh boy. It always may. Oh God. That's great. Nobody wants to see a man just completely. You know what it is? I can watch a guy cry if something terrible is happening.

Just don't try to talk while you're crying. No, that's the thing. The talking and then bursting out into crying. Just let your shoulders go. Yeah. You should fucking cry, but don't for the love of God. A man needs to cry in private. A man needs to cry in private.

Yeah. You do that in the shower. You do it in the shower. Like when my son was born, everyone's like, did you cry yet? And I'm like, no, what are you talking about? And then when my son was born, it all hit me later and I went home to go get stuff from my wife in the hospital. And I sat on the couch and I didn't like weep.

But I just got, I didn't weep, but I got emotional. But I'm just fixing you sit on the couch by yourself and just go. That stupid face. It's just completely unacceptable to use your thing from your podcast. It's unacceptable. The burzi effect. It's unacceptable, dude. Completely unacceptable.

No, you're right. The talk into it, right? Yeah. The talk into it. That's that's what the funny thing about crying is, you know? Yeah. You know, you always do this to me. You know, you always do this to me and I'm trying my best and it's over.

Yeah. It's fucking over. Whenever my friends die, I've had so many fucking died. I just cry in the shower. Yeah. That's what I do. I asked a girl. We asked a girl, right?

Because you don't feel like you're crying because there's all that water on your face anyway. No, we asked a girl. We go, what would you do if your dude started crying? Like if it wasn't, if nobody died, if a dude and you were just arguing. He just had a bad day and he just had a bad day and you got into it and he broke down and cry and she goes, yeah, no, over. Over.

Over. Get the fucking away from me. Yeah. You know what's funny? There's some women they think that they want to see that part of you. They don't. What's funny to them is that's their total conquest. Yeah.

Like, you know, when you bang a girl in the ass, you're just like, yeah, I got this shit. I'm fucking with you. Their version of that. I was just like, Jesus, Bill. No, I'm fucking with you. Their version of that is, is if they can get you to be so vulnerable around them that you cry. And then it's one of those things.

It's always like when the crowd screams out a joke they already heard, they think they want to hear it again. And then you tell it's like, yeah, that wasn't as good. No. It's the same thing as that. And you said something. You said something about like, if a burglar comes in, if you cry in front of a woman, all in her mind is like, what if the burglar comes in?

This fucking guy? Yeah. No, it's over. You can't cry. You strip a woman of security if you cry in front of her, I think. I don't think I've cried in front. I think my wife's. Yeah.

That's what it is. Yeah. You strip her of her security because now she's like, well, I got this fucking. Yeah. This fucking crisis. I got this baby sleeping next to her every night. You know, yeah, it's, it's over. You know what I mean?

Oh yeah. You just, you might as well just have a pull of her sweater on, you know, walking around. And then she mocks you. What are you going to cry, bitch? You're so mean. Yeah, it's fucking over, dude. You can't have that. So sad music cats in the cradle with classic one.

No, I actually listened to a lot of, believe it or not, like, I mean, you always have like your core shit that you listen to. I like some Phil Collins when it's sad. What is he? Oh, I wish it would rain down. Down me. Oh, yeah. Well, I hated that annoying one when he was sitting there like ruining my day by bringing

up homeless people. Like I don't look at them and feel bad for them. Yeah. No, it's another day for you and me. Oh, think twice because just another day for you and me. You and me in paradise. Yeah, that fucking stupid song. Yeah, no, I hate when people do that's all the money to that went to homeless people.

That's one of that's just pandering to the crowd. Have you ever cried? Have you ever cried alone, listening to a song or like not cried, but have you ever been like, Oh, no, I've completely broken down and I've totaled three cars just weeping uncontrollably. Have I? Yeah. Have I totally cried? No, no, I've definitely teared up.

Listen, as an as an artist at some point, you're going to have to go to those emotions. You need you need to be you need to be in tune with your instrument. No, I have. I what was the ones like I had this weird thing where I stopped crying at some point. I don't know when I stopped crying and got mad more when when I got hurt and my brother beat the shit out of me. You know, most of the crying I'd be just like, fuck you at the end of it. But I wasn't but I wasn't crying.

And then I didn't cry. I remember one time. I remember one time my brother's bigger than me. My little brother's bigger than me, right? Big though, like, and I remember he I said, I said, if you fucking take my clothes again, if you take my clothes again, he did it every day. He would go into my room, we take my belt, you take my clothes and I'd come home and the boy band and I need to go I need to go out.

Right. And I go, mom, if he does it again, I'm fucking hitting him. If my mom be like, oh, you know, he did. And he and one time I need really needed a shirt and I'm fucking throwing shit through the house and he gets out of his friend's car and he starts walking up and he's got it on. And I fucking snapped and my grandmother was there and I jumped on him and I started punching him and he stood up and he just goes, fuck you.

What, you made your older brother cry? No, no, my younger brother. Oh. He was bigger than me. But he didn't know what to do. He got so upset that he just, and he looked around. He just, he was so angry that something needed to come out and he just goes, fuck you. What, did you feel bad?

Did you start laughing? No, no, I kind of just walked away and, you know, we left about it afterwards, but now, now he's a fuck, he's a big kid. But, you know, my mom had the opposite. Yeah, I got a little brother, he's an animal, you know. No, my mom said she went to a funeral once and everybody was there and everybody was crying and she was overwhelmed with emotion that they had to fucking drag her out. She said she had one of the most embarrassing things happen to her where she said she

uncontrollably laughed because they said that that could happen sometimes. So she's sitting there. She's sitting there and everybody's crying and like she went up and she could not stop laughing. And like she, and I said, why? Like, and she was like, Paul, I just don't know. She goes, I could not stop laughing and I had to walk me out. And like, and she just.

Is this your mom? Yeah, she said because the emotions were so much that they said that that could happen sometimes where it just, you just like, she didn't know what to do. So instead of just breaking down, she went the other way and just couldn't, couldn't control herself. Yeah, no, like humans like will protect you in a really like this. But they don't get sometimes when comics make fucking horrific jokes about some bad event, make good jokes.

Yeah, it's about a horrific event. So they go, that's so fucking me. It's a defense mechanism. It's also my mom is my mom is a sweetheart who felt bad and her emotions just went the other way. And she goes, Paul, I felt so bad. I couldn't control myself. I couldn't control myself.

I hate to say this because somebody lost somebody. But there was, if there was video of that. Oh my God. Oh, so I was saying, so I somewhere around, I don't know, 10 or 11, I didn't cry for years, years and years and years. And I didn't, I didn't cry until a friend of mine killed himself. And even then I was sad and then just, I went, I was in the bathroom once again. Yeah.

And it was in there. And I remember I started to cry and then I started thinking like, wow, I'm crying. I haven't cried in a long time. And then I stopped because I was out of it because I stopped thinking about the dude kill himself. Wow. Yeah. I went 10 years without a cry.

And then I had one. What was it over? Yogurt. They didn't have gummy bears. No, I think, yeah, I might have been one of my, I might have been one of my son was born. You know, I might have been one of my son. That's acceptable.

I guess it's acceptable. The day you just stood out in the waiting room, right? Smoked a cigar. No, you Irish dudes don't cry. I said today, I even just tweeted something. Irish dudes, I swear to God, I've never seen a funnier group of people who A, take pain and just take a beating. Some of the funniest people to talk to.

It's the acceptance. It's the acceptance of the beating and you don't try to change it. You just keep running into the brick wall. There's something so comical about just accepting the beating, not trying to remedy it at all. I don't have that 100% anymore because of getting into this business and traveling and yeah, seeing other types of ways of dealing with shit. But like, dude, I was actually thinking the other day, like my bloodline German, Irish, Scottish, English, right there.

I mean, that would make a therapist do a spit take. Like you fucked emotionally when you have that blood running through you. I don't know what it is. And then I see you when we get hung over and we had a night out the night before and then I see you in the lobby and you just see the look on my face and I'm miserable and I'm looking at him and I'm going, this guy did what I did. How is he just taking it? Like you don't even show.

You just fucking put your head down and go. Me. That's how I got sick. Yeah. Because we found that cigar private place. We smoked the cigars in Calgary. We drank. We got like three hours sleep and we woke up, came here.

Yeah. Took a fucking steam and then I came back and like an asshole. I'm going to go work out. On three hours sleep and then I fucking jumped on the treadmill and then worked out and I came back and then right when I got to the theater and my head I was going like, this is dumb bill. Yeah. Don't go down to the treadmill because you just got all taught in the steam thing and

then you're going to run down this sweating and you only got three hours. You go, Verzi, what'd you do? I go, I took a nap. I laid down. It was great. I go, what'd you do? I go, would you get some sleep? He goes, no, no.

I went to the gym. It's a fucking animal. Give yourself a break. I go until I get sick and then I give myself a break. Whatever Paul. Hey, what do you want from me? Okay, I'm who I am. Hey, I got a friend.

He doesn't quit, you know. Hey, sometimes I want you. I'm just afraid. You're sabotaging yourself. It's obnoxious at this point people that I don't care. Fuck you. You do 20 days on the road. All right.

Problem with ex-girlfriend. Bill, I have a question regarding how to handle a situation with my ex-girlfriend. I used to really hug, kiss and squeeze her all the time. After we broke up, I talked to a pretty 20 year old in a coffee shop about squeezing and making out in the blue water in Thailand. She really got into it and asked me to show her how I would pleasure her in the ladies room. Dude, this guy's got some game. He's sitting there, painting a picture to the point.

What? There you go. He goes, I have always been a romantic. So I said, yes, that's hilarious. I'm a romantic. I'll take it to the ladies room. Oh my God. That's a fucking movie.

He goes, I kind of got into eating around. I don't get this graphic. He goes, I added some dirty talk and I think somebody might have listened in. I saw my ex-girlfriend leave the coffee. Wait, she was in there later, but she did not say hello. Wait a minute. I got with the graphicness of this. Wait, wait, wait.

I talked to her in a coffee shop. She was really into it. So wait, wait, wait, wait. So I saw my ex-girlfriend leave the coffee shop. So she was there as you did all of this, but she didn't say hello. I met up with this girl a couple of times and she always wanted to play, meet a pleasure her in public places like the movies, et cetera. She got a fetish here.

Then she suddenly proposed that I would pleasure her friend who I had met a couple of times. Dude, fuck you. What? This is awesome. Dude, you don't have to achieve shit after this. It was that coffee shop. All right. I know from experience that this would be a red flag, but I said yes because I am 42.

Oh no, he's a creep. 42. What are you doing? He's still out there. The longer this question goes, the more it sounds like a lie. Yeah, I know, right? And I really love to pleasure women. After having pleasure this woman in a changing room in a department store, I again saw my

ex-girlfriend leaving without saying hello. Dude, this is fucking bullshit. You keep pleasureing this woman and your girlfriend keeps showing up. Stopping up? I don't buy it. But I got a really, this is such a great story. I'm going to finish it though. Later, my ex-girlfriend called me and was a bit upset.

She asked me, am I not a woman you would have sex in a public place with? Now, the correct grammar would be a woman with whom you would have sex in a public place. Do you think I should correct your grammar? This is all a bullshit one. Or would you think that correcting her is a sign of not being over her? I don't buy that, man. That's just too fucking crazy. I mean, that was, that's like, I've never heard of anything.

Yeah. And he's 42. That was very well written phony question. And I liked all the fucking left turns. It was wonderful. I enjoyed it. There's no way that could be real, right? No.

Not, not. I mean, you're sitting in a fucking coffee shop when your ex-girlfriend's sitting there not saying hi. And another girl- And she doesn't work at the coffee shop? And another girl's like, hey, man, why don't you come in the bathroom and eat me out? I mean, that's like- Listen, that alone, that could happen.

But to then have it happen again, it's silent. You know what I mean? Not silent. I heard a lucky- I mean, in the department store. I heard a lucky. Played a lot, oh, buddy. Jesus.

All right. This is the last one. And then we got it. We got to run here. Am I a whore? Hey there, Billy, fat face. Fuck you. I bet on the treadmill.

I am a senior in high school and might be a whore. I know you're the lean, mean, red-edged machine when it comes to calling out whores. So I'll let you be the judge. Listen, I don't fucking judge you here. All right. My ex-boyfriend, who was a year older than me, left for college at the end of last year. He goes to University of Washington, a decent leap from Arizona, where we went to high school. We broke up after dating just over a year because we ultimately agreed that a long-distance

relationship would suck for both of us. Plus, I eventually knew I'd be plagued with the thought of him balls deep in some artsy whore, and it would get to me. This girl's hilarious. However, when we visited this for his winter break about six months later, I came on to him again. He initially didn't want to get back together because he knew he was leaving and thought I'd be hurt in the long run, but quickly gave in.

We were basically dating again for the entire three-week break he was here, holding hands in public and going on dates where one of us would pay or the other. What do we got here? Finally, we left without any incident, but it felt like we kind of flashed back to our heavily involved relationship. Here's what things start to get sleazy on my part. His friend Devin was always around when we were dating, trying to insert himself into things when my ex and I would hang out.

My ex thought it was creepy and shut him down, but ever since he left, I've been hanging out with Devin a lot. How did you do this? How did you do this? All the dicks in the world, you're going to jump on this one, which wouldn't make you a whore. It just kind of makes you like you could have had a better selection here. Here we go.

I spent Valentine's Day with him, and then she writes, but nothing happened, and I sent my ex a picture to see what his reaction would be. See, that's what she's doing. It upset him, and he told me that it really pissed him off and was comparable to cheating. Later this month, I went to a formal event with him and posted a picture on Twitter. I texted my ex later that week, and he told me it was really pissing him off, how I dragged him back into having feelings for me, and then rubbed my proverbial dick in his face. I apologize, but ever since then, he seemed kind of pissed at me and not interested in

talking to me. What do you think there, Billy Boy? Am I a dirty whore? Is his anger justified, or is he just being a jealous cunt? Love the podcast. You're not a whore, you're not a dirty whore. What you are is you're being a really mean person because you don't know how to express the fact that you still have feelings for him.

So you dragged him back into it, and maybe you didn't want to break up with him, or maybe you thought you did, and now you're having second thoughts about it, and rather than just saying that to him, the pain you have that you're not together, you're now sort of for some reason taking it out on him by doing everything that you know is going to tear his heart out of his chest. So you need to stop doing that. That's what I would say. Yeah, that's exactly like, it's like, just nobody, how come nobody just picks up the

phone and says, hey, like, keep sending the poor guy pictures and fucking doing that to him? They're young, they're young. You don't know, you don't know how to do stuff like that. And sometimes you're doing shit, and you don't know why you're doing shit because you don't know who you are yet. So I'm not judging this person, I'm just saying what you're doing is really, it's really unnecessarily mean.

But one thing that's not brought up, what about Devin's feelings? I know he must really seem to be careful. No, but like, there's two guys getting fucked, she's sending pictures, I don't know. Just, I mean, without a doubt, Devin, Devin's not a good dude. Because it's his friend. It's his friend. Yeah. And he was trying to move in on it when, when, when they were still together.

So that guy, you know, it's weird, you know, who's going to lose in all of this is going to be you because you're with this creep. This guy's a fucking creep. Or maybe he's just, you don't know, you don't know he's a creep. No, maybe, maybe he always had feelings for and the other guy didn't treat. We don't know. I just went with creep. She said that her ex-boyfriend said it was creepy.

I don't fucking know, Paul. What am I going to solve? Solve the problems of 18 and 19 year olds. I can't do this. All right. Look, yeah, stop doing that to him. Stop posting. I mean, yeah.

And you're acting like you don't know what you're doing, at least as far as like hurting the person. You're hurting them and you should stop. And if you don't, then you're a mean person. But you're not a whore. She's not a whore. No, that's not a whore. That's not a whore.

What is a whore to you, Paul? If she sent pictures while she was blowing Devon, I mean, that'd be a little fucking much. You know? But even then, as you get older, when you start to think of the psychological reasons as to why a woman would do that, you know, and it always goes back to some sort of family issue that they would do that, some sort of insecurity and, you know, having no boundaries about it.

A lot of times when something like that happens, you got touched as a kid. I'm kind of paraphrasing some of the shit that I've heard some experts talk about. No, I just think a whore, when I think of whore, I think of you using sex, you know, doing sexual things or using sex in order to gain and do stuff like that, you know, to get yourself ahead through sex. Right. And I would actually say that that's more of a sociopath who just happens to be using, you know, sex rather than using a gun or a knife or something like that.

They're just going up. They're using the weapon that they got. Are all whore sociopaths? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would say, I would say, no, not at all. I would say that, you know, men and women who have a bunch of fucking partner, different partners or something like that, the older I get, they're not like dogs and whores and

stuff like that. Like they have, there's something wrong with them beyond, look, there's something wrong with fucking being married and this is the only person you're ever going to have sex with again. I mean, that's just, there's something not fucking natural about that. But the other side of that is to just walk around fucking everybody, just fucking everybody. Then there's something, there's something wrong about that. But what I'm doing is also, you know, my opinion is, is I'm coming out, I'm looking at my own

head here, how I would feel. I remember, you know, I was out dogging around, I would always feel like a piece of shit on some level past a certain age. Your twenties, you're like psyched, like, yeah, I got another one, right? In your thirties, it starts to get, it starts to get sad, starts to get pathetic. So I wouldn't say you're a whore, but unfortunately we have to wrap up here. Paul, another effortless podcast. Great time.

Always always a great time. The Verzi Effect podcast. Yes. The Verzi Effect podcast. And also we kick off March 31st at Largo. The All In Tour. Yes. All In Tour with myself, Joe Bartnick, Jason Lawhead.

These three animals are going on tour and I'm going to host the kickoff one. It's not, I don't know. Yeah, that one's, yeah, that one's going to be at Largo. I don't know where the other ones are. Dates are coming in. Dates are coming in. You've got West Coast dates. Yeah.

San Francisco punchline is on the website now. So you could go to that. We're going to Portland. We're going to Seattle. We're going to San Diego. East Coast will be in Jersey. We will be in Cleveland. Cleveland, yeah.

So check out, yeah, we're going to be in Pittsburgh. So check out all those dates are coming in, but that's the All In Tour with, oh, sponsored by the Monday morning podcast. The first tour that I'm putting, putting the Monday morning podcast name behind. And we appreciate it. You know, I just love your talents. Yeah. So, and then you could go to my Twitter at Paul Verzi.

That's VIRZI and please download the Verzi Effect podcast. Bill was the last guest on it and the podcast is doing better. So that's it, man. Thanks for having me. All right. All right, guys. That's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves.

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