Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 3-18-19

Episode Date: March 18, 2019

Bill rambles about F1, not wearing a shirt, and gets on his freckled soap box about taxes.

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Podcasts for Monday, March 18, 2019. What's going on? Oh, yeah! What's up with you? What do you say? I am, you know, I realized this morning when I was washing the dishes, I had just come from the gym, ba-do-ba-do-do, and I did my upper body. I actually ran into somebody this past weekend and said,

dude, I always see you at the gym. He's like, you're always doing legs. That made me feel good. You know, being a child of the 80s, you never did your legs. It was just all about the upper body, right? Just building yourself up from the waist up like a house of fucking cunts. And all it took was one leg sweep. One foot dota, putting up fucking 315, four times, dude.

One leg sleep. What doesh? Land on your side, separate your shoulder, right? Just covering up your skinny little legs, trying to fucking kick the guy off you in some fucking parking lot that they put a tent over. So they could sell some Bud Lights with lime in it. Remember those days? You remember?

Remember that, right? We'd get fucking hammered, and then the fucking red line would shut down, and we'd have to fucking steal a cat. Sorry, I'm pitching the sequel to Good Will Hunting. How soon before they reboot that, right? I would say Good Will, this is the leather chair, I'm not farting profusely here. What was I going to say? Yeah, the sequel to fucking Good Will Hunting.

All right, Will married the chick there. He driver, he marries her. They have four kids, now they're divorced, because, you know, just hugging Robin Williams doesn't erase a childhood. So eventually his demons, because he is who he is, came out, the fucking marriage ends. Now they got foe, kids, and the one that's most like Will doesn't get along with them, you know, because they're so alike, right? And then, I don't know, I don't know where, somehow there's Iron Man in there, so they'll

actually promote the movie, or fucking, one of those fucking goddamn, when is that shit going to end? There's like no end in sight to those fucking movies, right? It's like becoming incestuous now, now they're like doing like the Ocean's Eleven of like superhero movies. These fucking poor actors, man, you know, back in the day, he used to dream of getting a role of playing this, of playing that, now everybody's just, everybody's selling this.

Dude, I just, if I could just be, if I could just be a lightning man, I could get a bungalow in fucking Oxnard. But who knows? Congratulations to Liverpool, they won, I missed the game yesterday, they won two to one. I was hoping they won two nothing, so I could say two nil, it sound like I know what I'm talking about. But I know there's still one point behind the fucking Man City cunts, with all that

Middle Eastern money. You want your money clean from a pure nation, a pure part of the world, like the United States of America. That's right, because we're always on the right side of the ball. If there's any comedian out there listening right now, if you want to get laughs when you go overseas, just start reciting our propaganda. They don't even need a set up or anything, and people just start laughing. Beacons of freedom, people just, they just laugh.

All right, the standings, what do we got here? Oh fuck, they're at first place by two points. Oh my God. You gotta be shitting, wait, wait, wait, before I get excited, is this the latest one? It is. Are you fucking kidding me? What happened? What happened to Man City with their never-ending oil money?

What happened? Ah, the old breakfast buffet, gotcha? The Yanks came in with their big bellies and their big bag of cash. Woo! All right, I love it. I love money against money, because I'm a capitalist. I want to see how this is going down. Is there anything better than watching these giant hardware stores just putting each other

on a business? I can't get enough of it. It's fucking throwing down like blood sport. Aren't we going to be the ones that sell all the hammers? No one will sell a hammer in this part of the region, this part of the world, unless we say so. Oh, what's that? You want to build something?

You won't come to a hardware store, we've ruined all the others. Sorry. Anyways, plowing ahead here. This morning, after I went to the gym, did my legs yesterday, my pasty spindly legs that just never seem to want to get any bigger. But I have to do them, to keep my sciatic nerve issue at bay, because what happened after years and years, that driving myself to gigs, right, playing every shit hole from here to fucking chill-coot Charlies, I did them all.

I hate when white people, because they actually had to work for what they wanted in life, think that they're not privileged. My dad didn't have a yacht, therefore. You need to look it up. Doesn't mean you don't have to work, it just means that no point was your skin color a detriment. If anything, it was a positive. That's not true.

I was one of the people that had to get out of college. I like when white people talk about affirmative action, too, when like nine black kids get in and they say that's why they weren't able to join the other 30,000 white kids at the university. Oh, that's why. That's what it was. That's what held you back. You know?

You couldn't get into the upper fucking 92% of white people. You were in the lower 8% and now I'm supposed to feel bad for you. Snowflake, snowflake, little snowflake. Sorry. Anyway, so I was doing the dishes and I wore a long sleeve shirt because it gets a little cool out here in the desert in the morning. So I wore a long sleeve workout shirt. So I didn't want to get any water on my sleeves.

Fucking grosses me out. The same way when I put lotion on, I take my wedding ring off because I don't like what it gets underneath the ring. It fucking grosses me out. So I take off my shirt and I'm standing there shirtless watching relax ladies. I'm standing there shirtless washing dishes the way I wish my wife would. And it was reminded me of every joke that I heard a bunch of comics do back in the day when they were talking about cops going like, is there a rule that when you get arrested,

you have to not be wearing a shirt than never wearing a shirt. And it was fucking true. And they finally thought of me today. Probably that was because a lot of them couldn't afford air conditioning. You know, and God knows, you know, they want to get a lot of seasons when they first did cops. They're like, well, how many, how can you get five seasons out of this? It's like, well, we're mainly going to shoot in Florida and down south.

And everybody knows it gets hot down there hotter than Junebug fucking a lamp on a fucking July morning. So that's my theory with the no shirt thing. I also think it's a fuck it's something that's done by people that go in and out of jail. That's just part of the culture is, you know, you don't wear a shirt the same way like, you know, the people that go to like the fucking Ivy League schools, you got to wear like the fucking that douche outfit, whatever the fuck you call that the khaki pants with the fucking loafers.

That fucking thing that, you know, it's actually one of my favorite looks when the white person steers into being white, rather than being ashamed of it, you know what I mean, or trying to put on a blue color jacket, you know, because every once every two days you go out, walk down to the fucking mailbox to get your fucking mail, you know, I like people that fucking steer into it, you know, what does that look called? It's like, I can't, I have like a vague that that thing on Instagram that don't be a bread. I love the way those kids dress, you know, the parents had money and now they know they're getting it and they're not ashamed of it.

They don't have one ounce of guilt and they're just like, listen, my daddy polluted all the rivers and when I take over, I'm going after the oceans. You know, you got to respect, it's my goal in that there'll be no more polar bears by the time I'm done running my daddy's company. I enjoy that. I like that. Just a little bit of honesty. That's all.

You know, just be who the fuck you are. All right. I watched the F1 yesterday. Did anybody see the first race of the year down in Australia? Australia, Grand Prix, the local favorite, Daniel Ricardo. Where is he from? Perth, resting place of the great Bond Scott. And he's with the Renault team this year, who by the way, I love the look of their cars,

the yellow and the black. That looks cool as hell. Granted, I'm a Bruins fan, so I don't know. Maybe that's what it is, but I think those cars are cool as shit. This poor bastard, Daniel Ricardo, the fucking, the race just starts. He barely goes on the grass in the front end of his car, fucking blows up. His front wing hit something in the whole front of the car. Look at that.

It fucking exploded. So here's my question. Why do they have bumpy grass like that? They hit a tree stump or something, especially right there near the start. Somebody always goes off the grass a little bit, fucked up his car. And then he was like, go in and change the nose up to the front, the first lap. And then he's down a lap and then his car just shit the bed. It's just like he left Red Bull for this.

I don't know. Anyways, I'm basically, I root for Daniel Ricardo. For some reason I root for Ferrari, knowing that they're just not going to get it done. I root for the Haas team, because that's the American team. We did all right yesterday, if you think one out of two people finishing is good. But we did come in, what's his face, Magnuson came in sixth place, eight big points, right? What's his face? Who's the other driver we got there?

What the hell's his name? Roman Grosjean. Yeah. He didn't finish. Where the fuck were the Ferraris? The Ferraris were in fourth and fifth, Max Verstappen, who's basically, I think, going to be the next Lewis Hamilton if he could get a better ride, because for whatever fucking reason, those Red Bull cars, you know, they've taken fuck with the Ferraris, but not with

the Mercedes. So one and two is Valtteri Bottas and Lewis Hamilton. I'm trying, you know, I love greatness, but I just can't get into the fact how Lewis Hamilton thinks Valtteri Bottas should basically be his gimp, right? Bottas had this amazing start. Lewis had the pole. He fucking blows by him in the first turn, and then he just pulled away for the rest of the goddamn race.

Lewis was having his issues, and whenever that happens, he always acts like a baby. He started bitching that Valtteri was too far in front of him, wasn't helping him out. It's like, when the fuck do you ever do that for him? Just a fucking, you know what he just, he reminds me of a couple of comedians and actors that I've worked with, like with a whole fucking scene, the whole show, it's about them, alright? If overall, what happened was good, but their part of it wasn't as good as they like, they have a little fucking hissy fit. Maybe that's why he's fucking great, because he is great, and I would never say that he

wasn't, but Jesus, he always had, like I've seen like, you know, I've seen Vettel not win in last year, and Kimi Rake and him was going to win something, or he was out in front, never heard him fucking bitching about it. He just rear ends people in front of him. Just bugging, you know, Mercedes has went in, you're a team, you took first and second, you're fine. I know, I know the whole deal is the way he's wired, that's why he's so great, but it's just like, it's such a fucking, it's such a chick move.

You know what I mean? Like if you have some shit you have to do that day as a guy, you go out and do it. If your wife's got a bunch of shit, she'd just be like, I thought maybe you could come with me, we could maybe have like a lunch today, drag it into it. You wouldn't know it, but I still love the guy, you know, I can never hate on fucking greatness. The guy is fucking great, but that part of him, you know, I guess we all have that part of ourselves that maybe we could all work on.

Anyways, I'm very excited that it's, it's back, F1 is back, you know, it was cool. They were like, it's been 112 days since the last race. And I was thinking like, well, I haven't drank in 113 days, old freckles. I took a day off right before the last race of last year. I'm almost a third of the way in to breaking my record of 367 days since I started drinking. Man, I went the first 15 years of my life, never had a drop. I don't see myself beating that streak anytime soon. So I think I'm going to try to go until June of next year.

So then I would do a calendar year, January to December. And then I would also do an entire birthday, like my entire time of being 51. I didn't have a drop. I think that would be cool. Then I would go on for like a fucking year and seven months. Right. And at that point, I have all the alcohol out of my house. And then I think what I do is I don't drink in LA.

I don't drink at home. And when I go on the road, um, one day out of the, I go on the road two weekends a month and one day out of those things. So I'd be drinking two times a month, 24 times a year. Okay. Whatever the fuck you're going to do. I think that'd be all right. You know, I got to figure out who the fuck's going to open for me.

All my openers are fucking, they're crushing it now. Paul Verzi, check out the tour dates. Joe Bartnick, you got to check out Puck off. He's got a fuck that he just have on there. And McCarty, he's doing the, uh, the fucking NHL awards, writing on that, uh, just say, what the fuck am I going to have now? You know, fucking law heads down to San Diego, crushing it on the sports radio. See this is what happens when you don't bring cupcakes on the road.

They move up into the business. So I'm just putting it out there. Are you the funny guy at the office? Do you think that you'd like to be a standup comedian? Well, why don't you submit your tape to billbird.com? Maybe you can play some chuckle hut, do 15 minutes in front of a bunch of animals before you bring up the freckled prick who's closing out the show. Oh, by the way, how about those Bruins?

Huh? Conor McGregor showed up, right? I missed the whole game. That's why of course it was fucking exciting. I missed the whole goddamn game. I came in right at the end of the streak. I watched two games where they continued it and then they lost two in a row and then I missed the next game and they went in overtime.

Brad Marchand fucking in overtime and then he does the Conor McGregor celebration and I missed the whole goddamn thing. But you know what I did see? I did see the Maple Leafs game. Who the fuck were they playing? Somebody who had like a big, big time lead, like a five to two lead and they came back and won it. I don't know.

They were in the St. Patrick's Day jerseys. What has happened to my short-term memory? It's out the window. I got to start playing brain games again. Who the fuck were they playing? Anyways, Toronto is my team. If the Bruins don't win it this year, Toronto is my team. That's who the fuck I root for.

And in the West, I always root for the St. Louis Blues. Those are the two teams that have gone the longest without winning the fucking thing. And I don't know how much longer do you want their fans to suffer, which is why I think it's bullshit when that was an Antonio Brown, whatever his fucking name is, that wide receiver from the Steelers has a fallen out with his team. The Bills make a deal. They're like, all right, you're coming in. He's just like, yeah, no, I'm not going there.

You guys suck. Then he goes to the fucking Raiders. It's just like, so what are Bills fans supposed to do? I've never understood that. John L. Way. I'm not playing for the Colts. Well, then you're not playing the NFL. Go to CFL.

You cunt, right? Kobe Bryant. I'm not playing for the Charlotte Hornets. Well, enjoy Europe. It's not how it works. I want to go where I'm going to have a chance to win immediately. Bunch of fucking babies. You know what I mean?

I mean, I guess I understand maybe the quarterback position just because if you don't have an offensive line that you're just going to get run. But you're playing fucking basketball. Jesus Christ. You can't even touch anybody anymore, right? And I can say this, having not played organized sports for 40 years, I know what it takes. You know what it is? This is just me bitching as a fan.

I was excited to see the Bills get an offensive weapon there. You know, if you want to see a bunch of grown men cry. You wait to the day the fucking Bills win when the goddamn Super Bowl, all right? Everyone in the Red Sox finally won it. Everybody was fucking freaked. You wait to when the Bills win. These people are going to run outside crying. Their tears are going to freeze on their face because they live in Buffalo and they're

just going to hug their neighbor, right? And then they're going to fall down and land on that little heating thing that heats up their fucking engine in the morning. It's going to unplug in the next morning, it's not going to fucking start and they're not going to give a shit. They're going to get mad for half a second and then they go, wait a minute, wait a minute, they fucking, they won the Super Bowl. Now I don't give a shit anymore.

Anyway. What else am I going to do today? I'm going to go get, I'm getting three MRIs. I'm finally going to finally see what's going on with my shoulders and then my left knee. That's what I'm doing today and we'll fix my, both my shoulders and my knee and then I'll probably have some sort of cancer from all that radiation. See that's how it works everybody. You know, it's one of the reasons why I love breaking bad is every time they've made a

step forward, there was always a price to pay and at best they were even but they never really were. They always sank down a little bit lower. You know, doesn't make any fucking sense. I'll tell you everybody, this world, this world doesn't make any fucking sense to me. You know, this whole fucking food thing and booze thing, here's something I finally had an epiphany about being an adult in addiction and being fat and fucking all of this shit that you try to avoid is no one ever really tells you like the level of responsibility

of when you go out on your own, just for yourself to not fuck the whole thing up. I was sitting there, right? I'm on the Instagram and one of the people I follow, he's in his twenties, right? And he's filming like the night out, all right? It's drummer, okay? And everybody's drinking, everybody's dancing, hey, hey, hey, it just keeps going and going and going and going and going until like fucking four in the morning. And I understand that you do that when you're at that age but there is a part of me thinking

like what if I didn't do that? Not like I danced in the street but you know what I mean, I puked in the street until like four in the fucking morning. What if I didn't do that? Like how many more miles on this engine would I have? You know? Because like right now, I'll tell you, my drug is eight hours sleep, honey. I don't know, just as far as like, I was really sitting there like trying to think how I'm

going to explain that to my daughter one day. It's like, all right, you're going off to college. Now you're going to have this ridiculous level of freedom. I remember the first time when I finally fucking moved out, I remember I was in New York City. It was my first night hanging out. I was hanging out at the comic strip and it hit me of like, I don't have to fucking go home until I want to go home. I don't have to answer to fucking anybody and this big grin just broke out of my face

like Jesus Christ. This is fucking amazing because of course I was down there like, Jesus Christ, I moved like two states away. I don't fucking know anybody. I'm in a railroad apartment. You know, I just talked to Lucian breasted soul and he's like, I already have enough white guys. I have no need for you.

Good luck with your dream. I remember just sitting there at that bar and then, but then the epiphany was like, Jesus Christ, I could fucking do whatever I want. I could fucking meet a chick, take her home. This is fucking unbelievable. And fortunately, during that time, everybody that I was hanging out with was either they didn't drink or they were already in AA and I've always just been, you know, I just did what people around nobody around me is drinking.

They want to go out and go to a diner instead. I would just fucking do that. So I didn't drink a lot in my twenties, but somewhere in my thirties, it kind of went off the fucking rails and I wish I could go back and if I could tell you guys anything yet, don't bring the booze into the house. It's like, literally, why would you bring cookies and cake and potato chip into your house? You're going to become a fat fuck.

You bring booze into your house, you're going to become a drunk. Not saying an Alki, but it'll just be something that you just fucking do. If you like smoking a cigar, don't buy a humidor. Keep it. Don't bring the devil into your house. Keep them down the fucking street. You're getting out the dealers because you'll sit there for 10 minutes being like, ah, fuck man, I'd love a goddamn cigar or I'd love to go get a drink and then you're sitting there

and I got to fucking get dressed. I got to get in the car. You know, fuck this. I'll just, you know, I'll just sit here and hang out. But the one thing I have, this really fascinates me is now that I don't, I'm really not doing anything is, uh, getting used to just being sober. And I don't just mean, you know, booze. I mean, then also combining that with trying to eat right because it's like at the end

of the night, like I'm just used to being ramped up, having a couple of pops. And then when you quit boozing, then that becomes like food, like eat something sugary or eat something salty and you know, you know, just fucking get the RPMs going in your body. And the reality is your body doesn't want to do that. It just wants to be fucking idling, chilling out, saving it stuff for when you got to run from an earthquake of fire or some guy with an axe, essentially. And, uh, I don't know. I feel like I need to take, uh, you know, that shit that you put in your gas tank to

clean out your engine, but then you get nervous. Am I going to move the clots around? I feel like I got to fucking do that, man. So now my big thing is like I've been cooking at home. And last night I asked for the first time in forever, I made like a full meal, like two sides and, uh, and I had a little steak. So I made this little steak, I had some steamed broccoli, and then, uh, I had the potatoes, right?

Garlic was a little bit of rosemary, a little bit of salt and pepper and some butter. Oh my God, they were fucking delicious. That was basically, that was the highlight of my night was those mashed potatoes, um, but I'm going to fucking, I'm trying to revamp my whole lifestyle here. So when I return to drinking, which I will at some point, I just want to make sure that I do it in a, uh, like the way I drink soda or pop a few people in the Midwest, like a cage. Like if I have, like if I'm out, it's usually back East, if I'm having a pizza, then I would

always get a Coke. And even then I could never really fuck, I could never really finish it. If I'm just having a bad meal, I'll have like a Coke or something like that. If I could just do that with booze, you know, there's fucking people that can just have an A glass of wine. Ooh, that was delicious. That complimented my meal. Right.

They don't sit there like a pirate and fucking bite the cork off it. Um, anyway, I did a, uh, I did a gig at the American Legion. I got to open for Ron White. I worked with Joda Rosa and, um, this other guy, Alex, I didn't get his last name. He's fucking hilarious. And, uh, and John Scythe's, we had a fucking great time and, um, afterwards, you know, we smoked some cigars and stuff and there was a couple of buddies of mine and they showed up and one of them showed up.

He bought a fucking one of those new Indian motorcycles, the one that looks like the Harley Road King. Ah, fuck dude. I would love one of those two tone. He had black with the green man. The thing was fucking sick and, uh, and all those guys on those big bikes, they always go, it's like riding a Cadillac, you know, it's, and it's got the three lights. People can see, um, oh man, that's, that's one of those fucking, that don't remain the

dad fantasy. It's like, if I didn't have a kid, if I didn't, if I wasn't living for somebody else, though, my God, I would fucking get one of those. I would take it out Sunday mornings, right? Just drive down the fucking street. I freckled arms out, you know, feeling like I'm in a motorcycle gang when I really never killed anybody and pay my taxes quarterly. I'd block that part out, right?

Drive down the street. Um, I would fucking love one of those. I love those. As the bikes, I love, I love those big ones with the, uh, the white wall tires and shit like that. Like I love a Harley road king without the bags on it. I just think that that's just one of the fucking coolest looking bikes ever. Um, who knows?

My daughter graduates high school, goes off to college. Maybe I'll do it then. I'll be like my late sixties. I'll get one of those. That's right around the time when you get that three wheeler fucking motorcycle, you know, um, which I would think in a lot of ways could be a little bit more dangerous. All of a sudden you kind of had to like, I don't know, like how does that work? If somebody cuts out in front of you and you got to lay it down, you can't lay it down.

What do you do? Um, you just fucking T bone the guy and go flying over the fucking, I don't know, there's got to be some sort of Robo cop type thing that they can put on. Can you buy one of those Moto GP suits with like the fucking airbag in it and shit? They don't have an airbag for your head. That's the problem. Wait a second. Moto GP riding suit for sale, this thing will be like five grand if they do, well, there's

one for $478, so you know that's not it. I should have put airbag in there with airbag and then you got to like, that would, the thing is like, that's like hooked onto the bike. Come on you fucking cunts shop race, shop race suits with airbags. All right, Amazon, there's one for a thousand bucks. There's one for 4500 bucks. All right, this sounds about right. You know the Moto GP ones if you actually got one of those, it's like fucking three grand,

but is the thing you can have one of those and it's not going to help you if someone in an SUV runs you over in another life. I would have had kids younger and then I would have lived in the middle of nowhere and I would have had one. Oh, well, speaking of motorcycles, motorcycle, Japanese and Italian motorcycles. I don't have any advertising this week. All right, Japanese and Italian motorcycles. Hey Bill, on your March 14th podcast, you wondered why Japanese and Italian companies

make better motorcycles. That's not what, all right, had a little glitch there and ran out of batteries, ran out of batteries, getting back to what I was saying. I didn't say that you guys make better motorcycles, you just make the fast ones. Like why don't me, why I was in Honda or India or somebody like that make a fast one. One explanation I've heard, they're probably better, but as an American I can't fucking say that. One explanation I heard is that after World War II, engineers and designers for the Axis

military industrial complex were forced to find civilian non-military work. Some of the brightest, smartest engineers in those countries ended up in automotive motorcycles and electronics. Honda, Yamaha, Sony, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Ducati, or Ducati as they say in England. In particular, or at least the announcer does. In particular, aeronautical engineers who had designed fighter planes found success applying their knowledge to motorcycle chassis design because many of the forces acting on a plane's fuselage is similar to the forces on a motorcycle leaned over going through

a turn. That's fascinating. Also because of rationing in the years following World War II, engineers in former Axis countries had to figure out how to design and manufacture with less raw material like steel or aluminum. You can see how efficiently engineered German, Italian, and Japanese engines are compared to a chunky Harley-Davidson motorcycle. Just post-ride chat I've heard over the years, but I thought you might find it interesting. Thanks for making me laugh and making your podcast.

That is really interesting. Something else is that just the sheer amount of space that we have over here, we're not driving down these little streets that used to ride a fucking horse and buggy around and that everything needs to be really the cars, motorcycles got to be quick and nimble and all of that. You can just fucking, you know, if you look at our cars, it's the same thing. It's all about zero to 60 in a straight line because for the most part, there's not a lot of turns and shit, you know, that we're going to be taking.

So I think part of it is also that, but I really find that interesting that just through, you know, a loss comes a win like that. That's usually what happens. That reminds me, I was watching that Joe Rogan podcast with Mike Tyson and he was alluding to the fact and a lot of boxes have that like, you know, boxing is basically that there's never been like a rich kid that I can think of that just, you know, came from a great background and everything just goes in and does that. Like it's, it's for somebody that just came from nothing.

And you can literally, literally fighting your way out of it. That would be fucking hilarious though. If one of those don't be a Brad kids actually came, you know, you know, one of those kids that accidentally kills his girlfriend while having rough sex, remember those fucking billionaire boy club fucking lunatics from the 80s? If one of him, he came in and if he just steered into it like a great wrestling heel, like when he did his interviews, he had his boat shoes with no socks on and khaki pants and he's just in his whole thing is even though he came up with all that money and shit, he's

just like a complete fucking sociopath and then goes in and like his nickname should just be staring into all of that shit. Like what the fuck would be, be like Brad, the trust fund kid, you know, fucking Van something or other. That's always the fucking rich white people names, right? I missed that. I missed the Robert Barron being famous, you know, right? I missed it the first time, but like J.P. Morgan, Andrew Carnegie, the Vanderbilt's

then just all became a corporation. I think that that's why they did it. They became a corporation so then their names wouldn't be out there. So now it's like, can you believe what a Halliburne and Roddy, can you believe what a Monsanto, you don't have one fucking name. You know, just as far as bar room chatter goes, I'm sure if he actually took the time to care enough to research it, you'd know a name. All right, I think I was kind of shit on myself by the end there.

All right. What else do we got here? Marginal tax rate. Hey, Bill, I'm listening to a recent podcast where you talk about AOC's plan to tax people at a higher rate. The marginal tax rate kicks in after someone earns their first $10 million. After that, the income is taxed at 70% to fuck that fuck that fuck that. That doesn't touch people who create startups yet does when they turn around and sell it

for fucking tens of millions of dollars. Of course it does. Most comedians don't make anything close to that. You don't even know what comedians make. That's not fucking true. Comedians are crushing it right now. And secondly, what I fucking hate about all of this shit is everybody's going to ignore the reason why we're broke.

We're broke because we're fighting this never ending fucking war that is lining the pockets of about fucking a half a dozen to a dozen corporations and is completely bankrupted this fucking country. So rather than take those people to task who pay all the fucking politicians, now you're going to go after regular fucking citizens and we're going to have to pay the tab. Go fuck yourself. Dude 70% tax on anything is fucking criminal, criminal. To take more than half, somebody is doing that work.

You don't get more than half of that. Go fuck yourself. Those politicians need to grow a fucking dick and some fucking balls and stand up to those corporations that they're fucking blowing. That's the solution. Fucking goddamn fucking people who sit there and they demonize anybody, any individual that went out and went after a dream and made it. And then they have to turn around and subsidize your fucking life.

Go fuck yourself. You really want to take down the rich. Go after these fucking corporations that have all their money and offshore fucking accounts. Kick them out of the fucking country and stop buying their shit. They'll fucking punish some person because they started Dollar Shave Club and they're fucking dormitory. And now all of a sudden they got to give 70% of it away. You know what you sound like?

You sound like somebody who's never going to make $10 million in their life. Oh my God, that drives me up the fucking wall. And that's the genius once again of corporations is there's no name, there's no face to it, but you can do it with individuals. So now they're going to get punished. Anyways, let me finish this. In the income, it's tax 70%. That doesn't touch people who created startups.

That's just a statement that you pulled out of your ass. Most comedians don't make anything close to that. That's pulled out of your ass. That's pulled out of your ass. I've seen like the top fucking earning comedians that Forbes fucking lists. They're all over 10 million. Some of them are making $20 million. They're supposed to give 70% of over 10 million away.

Anyways, the most skilled brain surgeons don't make that much. The people making more than 10 million a year are close with extremely high concentrations of wealth. No, they're not. This is what this is what you're doing, dude. What you're doing is you're creating this cartoon character of a rich person. The same way female comics created a cartoon character of a white male comedian where he just goes down to the club and the club owner goes, what are your dreams?

How many doors can I open for you? Nobody wants to see that it's fucking work. I can't even, I can't even read the fucking rest of this. That's like that person going, somebody who makes $10 million a year doesn't work any harder than someone who makes $20,000 a year. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? If you work for yourself, I don't care what the fuck you make a year, it never ends. Seven days a week, 365, you're working your fucking ass off.

Anyways, collecting it at a rate that is unnecessary for any human on earth. Being able to start from nothing is what makes America great. Yeah, and you're going to yank all these people back down again. Those people also will make that they create a bunch of fucking jobs. There's a way to run your country, your company right. Anyways, listen, being able to start from nothing is what makes America great. And if anything, a higher tax rate enables more Americans to follow their dreams. That is complete bullshit, because what you're going to do is just yank your fellow fucking

countrymen down to the ground. None of this shit, you're not going to get to go after these fucking corporations and all these super rich people, their money's already out of the country. They got it running through fucking 20 different islands. And that's 20 different fucking mountains of red tape that the IRS is not going to take their time to go through. And that's why they're going to go after just regular fucking people, because we're standing here with that fucking pants down, allowing people to hoard massive amounts of wealth

only shrinks the middle class, creating larger conglomerates and pushes us further towards a horrible dystopia where everything is commercialized. Well, first of all, dude, you're about 40 fucking years too late at that party. All right, in all your, all your, all these fucking tax things are going to do, they're not going to fuck with any corporation. They fucking brush the IRS off their shoulder like it's a fucking net. All you're going to do is you're going to go after new money. Somebody who went out and started something, who the fuck are you to say how much money

anybody can fucking make? Because you don't have an idea that will enable you to make $10 million. Everybody has to fucking subsidize your life and you're going to ignore the fucking elephant in the room and you're just going to go after the fucking individual. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. I didn't want to fucking hear this. This is this fucking bullshit that that fucking chick is talking about there that everybody's

all high and mighty on. She's talking about individuals. She's not going to go out after the corporations that are going to pan her fucking bank account that she's going to go out and give speeches to after she's done with her political career to the tune of 300 fucking grand a night. Just like the fucking Obamas, but everybody's going to sit there and act like it's only the bushes in the trumps. The fucking fucking Obamas, just like the Clintons are lining their pockets with that

same fucking corporate money that is never going to be fucked with. And they're just going to go after stand up comics, people that start apps, people who start Dollar Shave Club. That who the that's who the fuck is going to get yanked down. And you sat there and you've never we've all sat back, support the troops, support the troops. You can't fucking speak out against the war and you literally watch them bankrupt this fucking country.

And every year in August, we're like, we don't have any more money. We don't have any money. What's the solution? Do we go after the fucking banks? Do we go after the corporations? No, we just raised the level of debt that this country is going to accept. And now we're going to turn around and we're going to make sure that no individual who doesn't fucking pour water in the fucking rivers and pour water, pour fucking their chemicals

in the goddamn rivers and all that shit. Just let all of those fucking people, all of those cunts who fucking polluted your fucking goddamn food supply to the point you got girls getting their fucking periods at nine years old and a kid can grow a fucking full beard by the time he's 10. After all of that shit and just sit there and be like, I don't think you need to make 10 million dollars. Go fuck yourself. You know what, buddy?

I hope you make 10 million dollars and I hope you get to keep more than goddamn fucking 30% of it because you earned it. You should have to pay because you fucking because of what? Because you earned too much fucking money. Listen, I'm going to tell you something right now. If these corporations were paying their fair fucking share, I wouldn't have a problem with this. You get a cap at a 10 million dollars fine, but that's not what the fuck you're going

to do. All right, I got heated there. Fucking goddamn stupid ass fucking morons out there with your fear. Why don't you read up on what the fuck it takes? Why don't you read up on what it takes to fucking go from not having anything to fucking get in there? Why don't you actually figure out how hard you have to fucking work to even get anywhere close to half of that fucking money?

How fucking strong you have to be mentally? How much bullshit you have to get put through as you fucking watching other people around you that you started out with, watching them slowly go crazy, watching them kill themselves and all of this other fucking shit. And then turn a complete blind eye to fucking banks and corporations and all of these fucking assholes. Yeah, let's go after people making money. Yeah, yeah, fucking nationwide drug epidemic.

Let's just completely ignore all the fucking pharmaceutical companies. That's fine. Let's just go after Joe Blow, who fucking worked his fucking balls off. You know, who the fuck are you to say what the fuck? Just a certain segment of people are going to fucking make and you're going to ignore all those goddamn corporations and don't even fucking tell me that go after them too. How? They run all of these fucking politicians.

Every one of them is on their fucking knees blowing them. And occasionally when you've got a guy like Bernie Sanders, who actually wants to stand up to those cunts, what do they do? They fucking box them out and they give them no coverage whatsoever. And then what do they do? They go with the fucking maid man, the Hillary Clinton, right? And then she loses to this orange-headed cunt. And now we're dealing with this shit.

Jesus fucking Christ. All right, mother-in-law with some messed up passive-aggressive behavior. All right, I have to end this podcast soon because I got to go fucking. Oh my God. Nobody who's making, who's not making $10 million should fucking be telling somebody what they should be. Am I saying what the fuck you should be paying? I want to hear what your fucking ideas that I'm going to, that if I ever get over 10 million,

I'm going to be fucking subsidizing. Once you can sit on your fucking ass and not do anything and have a fucking nine to five job and it'll be over, right at fucking five o'clock on Friday and you can do whatever the fuck you want for the rest of your fucking weekend. Well, people who fucking are running companies got to figure out through the weekend how to keep that thing afloat so you still have your fucking job. And on top of that, they're supposed to give 70% of their money over 10 million to you. So you can get another fucking beanbag chair, go fuck yourself.

Unbelievable. I mean, haven't we shown that just giving people fucking money doesn't do anything? There really is that fantasy that, you know, if you give people fucking opportunity, you know, they're going to make something to themselves. Not true. That's only half the recipe. That's like if you get a bag of sugar, you can make a pie. No, you can't.

You need fucking eggs. You need all kinds of other fucking shit. Somebody has to have the drive. They have the vision and they got to be strong enough that when they keep getting a dick knocking the dirt to keep fucking getting up and staying positive and not letting this fucking business eat you up. I had a fucking text from a buddy of mine last night. I couldn't believe I haven't talked to him about how fucking negative he got and I'm

trying to find a nice way to say, dude, don't let this business get to you. Don't let him put the fucking pilot light out because when they do, you're fucking done. All right. I never had to have that fucking talk when I was unloading trucks, working in a warehouse. I don't know. Listen, I am all for fucking paying taxes and all of that shit. If they would actually spend it on fucking the public schools, if they would, if they

would actually spend it on trying to give people tax breaks to fucking keep industry in this goddamn country and they haven't. Everybody who's thought about themselves and they've sent the thing out the fucking window. So now what's going to happen is you're going to start going after the individual and somehow demonize somebody that actually went after dreaming as corrupt as this country is actually got somewhere. You're now going to fucking yank his fucking pants down the fuck out of here. Fucking bullshit.

I think for you to make a statement like that at some point in your life, you should, you should actually have made over $10 million a fucking year. So maybe you'd have a little bit of empathy and you could actually speak with some sort of fucking knowledge instead of sitting there playing the goddamn victim. All right. If you want to start a fucking revolution and go off to banks and corporations, I'm fucking all for it. If you want to start yanking other fucking your own fellow countrymen who've done nothing

wrong down by their fucking ankles, because they had the balls to go after something and fucking actually become successful. And then you're going to decide how successful they need to be because these people are fucking honest enough to actually report their goddamn income. They mean while you got the fucking cunt who owns the goddamn corporation after it's gone through 20 fucking goddamn islands is now getting a loan from the last fucking island, a interest free tax free fucking loan. His money comes back to him in the form of a fucking loan and then that phantom fucking

corporation forgives the loan and the guys pay in zero percent taxes. How about that buddy? How about that? Yeah, let's ignore corporations that keep us in wars that bleed this country dry and let's go after the dollar shave club guy. There you go. There you go. Let's go after the guys who started barstool sports.

Yeah, they're the they're the fucking problem motivated fucking people who started from nothing and hit the mother load. I don't know. Jesus Christ. That was fucking 10 minutes of my life. I'll never get back. All right. Mother-in-law was some messed up passive aggressive behavior.

Dear Bill. His mother is probably the most passive aggressive piece of shit you ever met in your life. By the way, I still have to talk about this. The fucking level of money that I'm making, I'm lucky if I get to keep a third of it. And on paper, I'm not paying 70% tag. You wait till that fucking thing kicks in. And if you think they're going to stop at 10 million and then it's going to be, well, at 5 million, shouldn't they pay this at 1 million?

Shouldn't they pay this? Any check that I get any fucking check that I get. I just, I just, I take 70% already and throw it out the fucking window with commissions, expenses, and then the taxes that I pay. That's why people fucking go broke. They go out and they get a million dollars and they think they have a million dollars. It's like you don't. You have about 375 grand if you're lucky.

That's what a million dollars is before you're going to implement this bullshit. Kind of a fucking American to fucking is for pulling down another regular guy who was you. Yeah. Why not get inspired by that person? No, you should give some of your money that you made back to me. You fucking go fuck yourself. Oh my God. Why doesn't everybody get to play it down of NFL football?

Maybe their NFL dream didn't make it, right? Why don't you just let them do that? Dear Bill, my boyfriend's mother is probably the most passive aggressive piece of shit you ever met in your life. She's still relatively young in her early fifties and acts like a college kid around her friends. Oh boy. That's probably more annoying than the last 12 minutes of this podcast. You just know that she was a sorority bully when she was younger and now she treats her family very passive aggressively. Oh wow.

For example, when she came over for dinner to our house recently, we asked if she could remove her shoes as we don't appreciate the filth from the street infecting our floors. This slighted her from the get go and then she went to the bathroom and deliberately left skid marks on the toilet and came out announcing to the room that we should clean it regularly to prevent that from happening. Oh my God. I know that sounds crazy, but this is the same person who also made a big deal about how somebody should get tested for an STD because my... Oh, saying how I should get tested for an STD because my last boyfriend had an uncircumcised penis. Please let me know what you would do to put her in her place once and for all.

Oh, this is a tough one. This is family. Hey, family. The family beckies. Mother-in-law with messed up passive aggressive behavior, but you're calling it your boyfriend. Yeah, you got to nip this in the bud before you even fuck or the bud, whatever the fuck you say, nip it in the bud before this goes any fucking further. You don't want to marry into that. And if you do marry into it, you got to set up boundaries. Here's the deal. I would just say something to your boyfriend and what I would do, that's probably not going to work. You know what I would do? I would just say, I don't appreciate that comment. And if you have to have a fight with her, have a fight with her and just say, listen, you're coming over my house and these are my rules.

If you don't like it, don't come over here. And if she has a fucking problem with that and your boyfriend has a problem with that, fuck the both of them. Fuck the both of them. All right. There's no reason for you to be walking around on eggshells where you live. Fuck this fucking person and you'll basically show your future mother-in-law who you are and your boyfriend who you are. And, you know, whoever has a problem with it can go fuck themselves. You can come over and leave skid marks in my toilet and say somebody should clean that. You should have grabbed her by the back of her fucking neck in the seat of her pants and thrown her out bouncer style. Right out of your fucking house. The fuck out of my house.

Clean up my shit. Get the fuck out of my house. That's an easy one. That's as easy as the $10 million a year thing there. I'm open to, it's hilarious to say, I'm open to more debate on that. I'll talk to somebody who will actually talk about corporations and banks. If you want to talk about that first and what you plan to do with them, then I will listen to your fucking over $10 million. And I don't make anywhere near that, but like I plan to. I'm building a company. I plan on that and I don't plan on fucking working my ass off so then I can just go give it to a bunch of corrupt cunts who aren't going to give it to you. They're not going to give it to you. They're going to give it in the form of contracts to people at big construction companies to build more luxury high-rise apartments.

They're going to give them the kickback fucking money and they're going to charge way more money for the fucking materials. All of that fucking shit, government fucking jobs, building roads and all of that, that's where it's going to go. It's not going to go back to the kids. It's not going to go back to the schools and it's not going to go to you. It isn't. It never does because they're all fucking corrupt. So if you want to talk about how to somehow pay politicians more money so they don't, so they have fuck you money. So they don't have to fucking sit there and suck the dicks of these corporations and these banks. Then maybe we can try to fucking have as honest a company as you, a country as you could possibly have, which is impossible because people shit on socialism. They shit on communism. They shit on capitalism. None of them work. None of them work because human beings are inherently flood.

All right. So there you go. That's my uninformed bullshit for the fucking day. God bless all of you. I got some shit to do. I know the podcast was a little bit short, but you're probably sick of me after I was on my tree stump there for fucking 12 minutes. All right. God bless all of you. I hope your dreams come true and I hope when you go out and you make the money that you earned, some cut doesn't come in and take 70% of it. All right. See you Thursday. Above all, you now enjoy four-year warranty on your certified second-hand car. BMW Premium Selection. Trust your instinct, follow your fate. Information and information at bmw.be