Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 3-26-12

Episode Date: March 26, 2012

Posted in PodcastPlay AudioBill rambles about Crows, Cheesecake, and Alternative comedy.

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For Monday, Monday, March 26th, I just had the breakfast of champions people. I had a fucking, I had an egg over easy. Easy. Hey lady, when you make that egg, take it easy. I had a fucking egg over easy. I had a weak English muffin sliced in half so it's only one but it counts as two and then I finished it off with a slice of cheesecake. So I got salt and sugar pumping through my fucking veins.

In other words, I am going to go like a madman for about eight minutes and then I'm going to crash man. I don't feel like doing it anymore man. Um, let's talk about, let's talk about, what else are we going to talk about? Bill, let's talk about your fucking life. I got a goddamn crow. It's three weeks in a row with the fucking animals. First the squirrels.

Last week it was a moth. This week we got it. We got it. I got a crow. I don't know if it built a fucking nest. As far as I know crows don't have nests. Am I wrong here? As far as my, my observance of birds to crows are the drifters.

They just showed us like show up like Clint Eastwood used to in those cowboy movies and then all the other birds fucking scatter and they sit there with that little fucking hand rolled cigar. A little bandana around their fucking bird neck. Anyways, I guess the same way nobody knew that there was a mafia until Robert Kennedy told everybody that there was a mob. Um, I finally discovered that crows actually have nests. I thought they just floated around having one night stands with sparrows, but evidently

they have a fucking nest or this crow loves the tree right outside my window because every morning at like 6 30 now is fucking crow. I don't know what it's doing. I'm sound asleep. Right. I'm getting my beauty sleep. I'm a fucking ginger. Right.

My face is going to crack up unless, unless I make sure I get eight hours dunk my face in lotion every day. If I don't do that, I look like I was fishing for lobsters. Um, so every morning is fucking crow is outside my window just going. Like for fucking 10 minutes and I want to throw, I want to get up and just fucking throw my iPhone at it. That's what I want to do, but I'm so fucking tired. I can't move.

So I just lay there and I dream that I'm doing it, that I walk up to the window and I lift it up in my dream. I'm wearing a wife beater, you know, because anytime you're mad and you want to yell out your window, you have to, you have to have on a fucking wife beater. And I just fucking, I don't know how I stand back from the window so I can get some velocity and I just sidearm that thing right out and I hit that fucking thing, right? It's goddamn beak. You know, not a headshot.

It can still walk away from it every fucking morning, although this morning it didn't, it had some company and they were getting up at fucking 430 in the fucking morning because they had an early flight and you know, it was funny. So they got up and they said goodbye. So we said goodbye. All right. Thanks. Thanks for visiting.

We'll see you later. Right. So they leave and right as they start to go back to sleep again, right? Right around when this fucking crow is going to start doing its goddamn like it's tied to something and it's slowly being beaten with a fucking rubber hose, right? Fucking bird makes no noise. So Billy boy is just sleeping away and what happens? My fucking phone makes a goddamn noise and it was the people who stayed with us texting

me to let me know that they had missed their flight, you know, and I'm like, wow, that sucks. LAX is horrible. Send trying to go back to sleep and then right as I fall asleep again, they send another text to be like, oh, we made it. You know, that couldn't have waited till 9am. You couldn't tell me about your exciting little trip to the fucking airport. They'll text to me every five seconds. Oh my God, you see the line down here send and then I'm asleep and it goes right in my

fucking ear. What does it do bill? It goes. I can't do the fucking noise one of my Michael Winslow go rent one of the police academy movies and just just fantasize how he would have fucking done it. So oh, I knew it. See the sugars fucking hit me the salt I'm starting to crash haven't you guys just felt my energy my energy started going down.

It's kind of like back in the day when before iTunes when you actually bought albums and you heard a song on the radio and you fucking loved it and you're about three tracks in right now and you realize the song you heard on the radio was the only good one. That's what this podcast is going to be. This podcast is going to be like a Cinderella album, you know, speaking of that, I have to download Shake Me. I heard that the other day when I went to the fucking Kings Bruins, the Kings, oh, God, this sugar's killing me.

The Kings fucking Bruins. And that song came out. Shake me. Oh, yeah. I think that's all he says for five minutes. Shake me, which I don't even understand what that meant. I think it's somehow it has to be some sort of sexual innuendo, but I don't know what that means is he liked her to walk up and rather than shake his hand, just grab his

dick. Hello. How are you? I'll be the woman fucking you this evening. I don't know. But you know what? I'm going to download it. I've been downloading a lot of weird shit lately weird.

I downloaded that Bob Dylan song tangled up in blue where he sings about every woman he ever banged. She was working in a fucking diner and I walked in with my hat. She said something is and I said can I fucking say and I went down in the fucking world. Tangled up in blue right? Every time you think it's fucking over that I met a fucking girl named Susan, but on the side of the road, she bent down, tied my shoes and I blew up fucking loads. She wiped it off and looked at me and why did you fucking do that 20 fucking minutes

on? You know, tangled and you sit there trying to sing along you just you just chime in the end every time tangled up in blue back at it back to do. All right. I'm sorry. That that last little steady was brought to you by cheesecake cheesecake the breakfast of champions. That's what I'm going for in 2012.

Mantis. That's what I want. That's what the ladies are looking for, you know, and when I wear my wife's beater and yell at that curl when they'll be cupping them ever so shapely, you know, hey, if you get mantis, do you have a higher chance of getting breast cancer as a male? Just out of curiosity, because I don't think you can get breast cancer as a male if you don't have mantis. That's like getting cancer of the air.

You know, they don't exist. Right there. Right. Okay. Who has no medical background? All right. Moving on. So I went to the fucking Bruins game, right?

Man, this guy, you know, got me tickets. Right. One of the guys I play pickup hockey with. Oh, by the way, Bill, when you play pickup hockey, do you wear anything to protect your feet? As a matter of fact, I do. I've been wearing skate fenders one for the first time last week in an actual fucking game.

Public rink with them, you know, and, uh, as opposed to my private rink that I have out back fucking idiot, I'm a fucking idiot. So I used them in a game and I took one off the foot. I didn't even feel it and I was able to continue skating out there at the mediocre level that I played that wonderful game. Skate fenders.com. Everybody go there and get yourself a pair. Stop being a fucking pussy.

Stop being the person who doesn't want to go down on the ring can be the first guy wearing them. All right. I went to the blues Kings game and the Bruins, uh, Kings game this week. And I could have just said, I went to the Kings game with the back to back where they play the blues and the Bruins. I could have edited that together a little better, don't you think? Um, and I saw a lot of guys out there wearing them, you know, and if it's good enough for

them, why can't you wear them? You don't want to get made fun of. How old are you? All right. You're an accountant. You're not making it into the NHL. Okay. So go to skate fender.com.

Type in bill Burr, all one word, all lowercase. You get $5 off, protect your feet, you know, how are you going to stand up when you're 80 on your porch and be, right? If you've been taken pucks to your foot, no fucking kids are going to take you seriously if you can't get up off your chair in the porch. All right. So go to skate fender.com. Get yourself a pair.

If you don't even play hockey, just put them on your loafers, shuffle around, shuffle around your kitchen, and then say everything you always wanted to say to your wife. And when she goes to stomp on your foot, you're not going to feel it. She's going to get bone spurs. Okay. So anyway, so I went to the Kings Bruins game. That was a commercial, by the way, I went to the Bruins Kings game and so one of the guys I play hockey with, he woke me up with these tickets and they have like a club.

This is how fucking LA LA is. It was a club and in between periods, like you sit down and immediately everybody who sits down, you have to, you walk in, they take your credit card and your license, just fucking walk with that shit. All right. And they got all these, these, uh, almost hot waitresses walking around. You know what I mean? You know what almost hot is?

That means your body is slamming and so is your face except into a wall. It wasn't even that she wasn't good looking. She just was a cunt. You know, the way all beautiful women are a cunt. Why? Cause they're beautiful. Not all of them, but most of them. They got that fucking, I'm beautiful.

Everybody wants to bang me. I don't even have to fucking try attitude. Right? This fucking won't, this woman, she comes by once in the first period. Okay. So I walk by. I'm trying to understand. I'm showing a little empathy.

I said, Hey, sweetheart, I had to go find her sweetheart with your midriff showing. You know, listen, I know you're busy, but if you get a chance, can you, can you swing by again? And she gives me this fucking look like I just asked her, I don't know, to help me move or something. Hey, can you help me hang this picture? Like I said that I didn't. I just said, Hey, if you don't mind, could you do your fucking job more than once in

the first pair and the next period? But what's funny was in between periods, though, it turns into like a dance club, like they just start playing like all this fucking techno music. All right. I know whatever the fuck that they're playing all that all that crap. So they basically take every song and then they put that beat underneath it. And sitting behind me was what do you call a group of gay guys? Like I know like a like a bunch of cows is a herd.

Any gay listeners out there? Any twinkle toes can tell me what do you call just a pack of gay guys that look like a fucking J crew at just sitting behind us. And one of them was Lance Bass. Lance Bass was at the gate looking younger than he did when he was in in sync. So this is my question. When is somebody in the television or whatever in the beauty products thing? You know, they have like now they have like the UFC workout.

They got the fucking the grapefruit 45 diet. They always got some fucking thing. What is somebody going to figure out what gay guys do so they don't age? You know, Dick Clark somehow figured it out. You know, this guy he like because I was looking at him going, that's not Lance Bass. I go, no, it isn't. He still looks like he's fucking 22. That kid's got to be like 50 by now.

He wasn't. He was just sitting there. I still don't think it was him. I thought it was like Wayne Gretzky's son. That's what it looked like. You know, Jesus Christ. Wayne Gretzky looks like a straight Lance Bass. I never realized that.

See that. That's why I do this podcast people. I do it. So I learned something. Um, oh God, what do I got left here? I just, I, you know, something I haven't been on stage in like three fucking weeks and it's really affecting me. Look at me.

I'm running out of, I don't have any comedy cardio anymore. I'm 13 minutes, 25 seconds in and I'm ready for this thing to be done. It's like I came out and I got fucking shelled in the first two innings, you know, and the manager's walking out of the dugout and I'm walking towards him. You know that? That's when you know you suck. You don't even wait till the manager gets there. You start walking off the mound.

You meet him at the first baseline hand in the ball. Yeah. I ain't got it today. All right. I'm going to get my shoulder rubbed down and I don't know what I'm going to rub one out because there's no way I'm getting pussy after that performance. Um, you guys have the MLB channel. That's one of the great things.

They actually have the, the NC 17 MLB late night and then when they mic up all the players and you get to hear everything. I actually heard a guy in the twins say what I just said, I just don't want to get busted for plagiarism. You know, that's one of my ideas. That's why I can never get a TV, a TV show is my ideas never seem to fit into the room. Oh, Bill, you're just such a fucking rebel, aren't you? I think I am.

I think I'm patting myself on the back here. Now, you know what it is? I have great ideas, but they all are not conducive to a mass audience and children. I think that that's what the problem is. So if anybody can help me with this one, I had an, I have an idea. For a new level of watching sports, it's NFL, NC 17 MLB, NC 17 NBA, NC 17 and you guessed it, uh, worldwide tennis, no, NHL, NC 17 and basically you just mic up everybody. Okay.

It's for adults only. And rather than hearing the people commentate the game, you actually just people, you just hear them cursing each other out. Does it go down the fucking court, skate down the ice, you fucking cocksucker, right? That's what I want to hear. I want to hear that shit. Like when the manager goes out and just be like, you know, do you realize you're supposed to be throwing strikes here?

Well, this is like the third fucking start in a row. You tub his shit out, but you do some sit ups. I know CC's fat, but it works for him. It's not working for you. Get the fuck out of here. Ah, Jesus Christ, do we got any more Dominicans left these fucking white guys can't pitch anymore? Wouldn't that be great?

Oh, like with two players in the same team, really fucking get into it. That would be great. But you know, it would suck would be the, uh, the reporters because then the reporters would hear all of it and they'd have even more bullshit soap opera crap to write about, you know, because I don't want to, you know, I just want to listen to them shooting the shit and trash in each other. And then afterwards, I don't need them to be like, why did you call Tom Brady a fucking underwear and douche?

Like I don't need to know why. I don't care. I just want to hear it. You know, how many more fucking times cause I listened to these commentaries, I'll tell you if I paid manning, I got to be thinking, is that air going to be too thin for my big fucking head? Will my head move faster in the thin atmosphere? Um, speaking of which, is Herm Edwards doing a parody of an ESPN analysts or is he really,

you know, are they putting something in his drink? I don't understand that guy. That's a guy who played the game for over 20 years. He coached it for like fucking 10, 15. Doesn't he have anything to say? Is he somehow related to flavor flave? I don't understand what that guy is doing on that channel. He starts like really slow and then out of nowhere, he just yells and then looks at the

other guy. Hey, the Patriots are playing the Colts today. What do you think, Herm Edwards? Well, I tell you, you got two guys on either side of the ball that really know how to throw it. I'm trying to be a fucking barber. And he fucking looks like what the fuck just happened. It's almost like he's going to, he's about ready to have some sort of epileptic fit and

he's trying to get his fucking sentence out before his eyes roll back and he falls off that chair that, you know, they got its staples, even if it is ESPN, those corporate cons are always trying to cut, they're always trying to cut corners. You know, all right, Bill, that went nowhere and it just came to a fucking screeching halt. I brought my car over to get it fixed today because I was parked at a meter and somebody somehow, I don't know, they didn't side swipe it. They didn't T bone it. It's almost like they just came in at a 45 degree angle and said, I hate that front quarter

panel. They just slammed into it right at the last second when they thought they were going to drive it into my poor excuse for an engine block on that car. They just cut the wheel. I don't know if it was a three point turn gone wrong. I don't know if somebody should have done a three point turn and try to do a one point U.I. I have no idea how the fuck it could have happened, but I brought it, I just brought

it over there to some guy named Rusty, who's fucking breath smelt like cigarettes he smoked in 1972. And then I walked over to fucking rental car place, went over to Avis, I wore a red fucking blazer hoping that would get me a discount. And I come walking out to the parking lot, they go, okay, Mr. Brewer, you chose a midsize car. We have a fucking whatever the fuck it was, an allante. I don't know what cars they're even called anymore, right?

Did that be to your liking? And I'm looking at this blue spaceship. And I'm like, what else do you got? Actually sure that's all we have in the midsize. Then why did you just say is that to my liking? You were hoping I'd be like, well, yeah, yeah, it is. And then you could just continue. I just called your bluff their world series of cunts.

What else you got? Well, at that point here, you'd have to upgrade to an SUV. So I'm looking at this fucking car. Red lights and brake lights wrap all the way around. Like those Lance Armstrong glasses, you know, this blue cube. And I'm looking on the back and I'm like, is it a Honda? Is that what that H is? It's sort of a fucked up looking H. Turned out it was a Hyundai.

I'm driving a Hyundai people. I went from Prius to a Hyundai, you know, and my balls have completely pulled up inside my body. You know, Hyundai really ripped off Honda's H, you know, they kind of turn it to the side a little bit to fool old guys like me. You know, I don't fucking know the fucking girls like get one that I can drive. Let's let's let's let's go into the the letters for this week, people. I really felt like this podcast was going to be great and I had all this shit to talk

about. Just feeling like I've run out of things to say and it's scaring me. Antique car. Hey, Bill, what are the drawbacks of having an antique car? I've always wanted a 55 Chevy Bel Air and hearing you talk about your truck has made me realize I should do it while I'm still young. Apps are fucking loopy. I gotta tell you right now, there is no drawback to having an antique car.

All right. If you just mentally accept a few things, A, it's fucking old B, you're going to have to do some things to it and C, you're going to feel like a million bucks when you drive down the street. Okay. There's a trade off. Trade off for everything. All right.

And you definitely want to do it while you're still young because you know, you're going to get married, you're going to have kids and you know, your wife's going to be thinking about the kids going, is that safe? I don't think it's safe. You know, that you're going to hear it, you know, through your male ears. All you're going to hear is, are you having fun? I don't want you to have fun. I want your life to be miserable.

Then you're going to call her some horrific name in front of your fucking kids and then that's going to be it. You know, and then you'll have your car, you'll be fucking living in it. Look, there's, you know what the drawback is on? It depends on what you buy. If you buy something really like, I don't know, like rare that a lot of people don't have the drawback is trying to get parts. If you buy like a Mustang or a Camaro, there's evidently there's parts for days on those

kinds of cars. And I also would think a Chevy Bel Air. That's like you're buying a classic, like a classic of the classics. So, you know, I mean, I even think like a Bel Air is one of those cars that you can actually, if you have like 300 grand, they'll just make you a brand new one, you know, because I know you can do that with like a, like a fucking 68 Camaro somewhere online. I saw that they'll just build you one, a brand new one. It costs like $170,000 for some stupid fucking reason.

It cost all that money, you know, which I kind of look at that. It's like CDs when they came out and they were $17 and eventually it didn't come down. They don't do my laptop is fucked. I have to buy a new one. It's like all it's filled up. Why I'm getting that little pinwheel. Why is it still doing that enough already? So no, there is no drawback to have an anti car unless you just buy a complete hunk of

shit that had a major accident and the guy's not honest about it and then you got yourself a fucking lemon. That would be the drawback. So what I would do is find a friend of yours who's a fucking gearhead and they'll help you out, you know, like I that's what I did with mine. And once I got the a okay from the dude and he said it was a solid vehicle, then I went ahead and I got it, you know, I was just thinking the other day, I was actually took it out on the highway man.

And whoever the fuck had it before me really baby dick. I'm the fourth owner, but the first two owners had it from 68 to 2009. So I think that was a father son and somebody else bought it and the recession hit and they had to get rid of it. But it drives like they changed the oil every 3000 miles, which is a is a huge thing. So I don't know what the fuck was this the speed channel. Hey Bill baseball. Are you in for a good baseball season?

I have no idea. It seems as if somebody says it seems as if the past few years have been terrible seasons with the expectation with the exception of a few good playoff series, though I'm sure they wouldn't have been as exciting without the exaggerated rivalries. Since when is a Cubs Padres series been monumental? Maybe it's just me. I think the last time a Cubs Padres season was us series was monumental might have been the early 80s.

Tony Gwyn Leon Durham, Bill Buckner. Do you know somebody said they brought up Bill Buckner to me the other day and they would just say, Oh yeah, I saw this whole thing. We had to move. You had to leave Boston after that and just like, I just don't understand the shock of that. Yeah. Yeah, you have to leave yet.

You fucked up a world series that people at that point have been waiting 70 something years and you let it roll through your legs. Gee, did you have a difficult time? Yeah, but they were yelling at his kids too. Yeah. Yeah, I would assume that I would assume that that what that's what would happen. You've been to a game. You hear the shit that people yell you hear the stuff that people say.

What do you think you're special? I don't fucking I don't you know, I'm not saying it's right, but I just I don't understand the shock. That's like after 9 11 when Arabs were complaining that they were getting harassed at the airport. Yeah. Yeah, that's gonna I would think that that would happen. The same way is if fucking 20 red heads went out and did some fucked up shit. I would expect to be getting some looks the next day.

I'm not saying it's right. I don't condone it, but I wouldn't sit there dumbfounded going to move to Ireland and get with all the other fucking redheaded cunts, you know, because everyone was staring at me in Connecticut. I just fucking blows my mind every time they bring up shit like that. That fucking kid there in Chicago, they made a whole sad sack story about that fucking kid who reached out and touched a ball that was fucking in play or they had a shot at, you know, the only thing that confuses me about that story is why they didn't hunt down the

other five fucking cunts around them who were also reaching up for the ball. That's the only way I will defend that guy. But other than that, you know, when you when you touch a ball that's playable and one of the athletes points at you like what the fuck you got it, why would you still sit there? You immediately get you got to get the fuck out of there. Now I'm not saying that you should go on the radio and out the guy and say who the fuck he is. What I'm saying is my ex my expectation for human behavior in a in a crowd is very, very

low. You know, come on. How many people fucking have kids and you want to take them to a game and then you think about the last time you went to a game, you're like, Hey, you know what, I'll wait till the kid's a little bit older, let's try to extend his fucking childhood a little bit. Hey, people are assholes, you know, that's why like, I don't know, I've been all over the map politically, but it's why like, you know, certain ways of looking at shit, like when people talk about guns, let's just make them let's just make them illegal and then

nobody will have them. You know, like that sort of like thought process is you're you're acting as though the world is a utopia and that there's not morons and that there's not people who say I don't give a fuck what the rules are, you're totally not even taking into consideration sociopaths, which is why that new fucking thing that Obama signed that whole defense package where now they can just arrest people without a trial, put you in jail forever with without a trial because they just think you're a fucking terrorist, you can't give people that level of power. I'm a fucking moron and I know you can't do that. Historically, no one has ever handled

that level of power well. Anybody here want to go live in China? Well, you're out there practicing your nunchucks wearing your wooden slippers and all of a sudden a van pulls up and you disappear and that's it forever. You want to live there? Of course you don't. You want to live here where they can't fucking do it. Well, they can do it now. You know, they just put in a fucking order for a bunch of black vans. That's what I heard according to holy shit.com. That's what's going down. I don't understand why stuff at that level that affects citizens to that level. Why we don't get to vote on it. Do you think it's because we'd say, Hey, you know what? Fuck that. Do you understand like that is just

a jump off point? Do you think like that's just how it's going to slow as well? You're not a terrorist and you ain't got a fucking problem. You think it's just going to stop with that? That's not how you take away freedom. You don't just fucking do it all in one failed swoop. It's incremental. It's just like when you're dating some fucking woman and you're not paying attention and she just gradually every day takes another foot of real estate. Next thing you know, you're in goal line D going how the fuck did I end up in this situation? You started at the 50 little push little poll, right? Everything was fine next thing you know, you're up against the goal line. You think that they're just going to keep it with the

terrorist thing? You know, you know, the wait for a whole nother generation of babies to be born. And they always grew up with government having that level of power and then they add something else to it. Then they add something else. Then that's it. You can't have it. Okay. If Tiger Woods can't handle the level of free pussy on a golf tour, how the fuck is our government going to handle a new defense package, which basically gave them a mute button? When you love to how would you handle that? If you had that power, do you how long before you just started abusing that if you could just hit mute on anybody who ever disagreed with you? And I just and you could have them whisked away. I mean, that is the sociopath's

wet dream. That's what that is. That is a fucking mute button. Mr. Stalin, don't you think that's it? You get mute, you're done. You're gone. See you. I think I think it's fucking insane. And the only thing that I get out of it is that I feel like I was proven correct. That I don't think it matters at that level, whether you vote Democrat or Republican Obama, the first black president ever, you would think this would be the most liberal politician in the history of this country. Because of his background, you would think that he signed off on that shit. All right, I'm telling you, I don't know what happens when you become president, but I think they let you peek just enough behind the curtain.

And you there is a fucking agenda that we are moving towards because it does. I don't think it fucking matters. I really don't, which is why I always vote for the Ralph Nader, the fucking Ron Paul, all those guys that all those fucking idiots go because you did that, you've ruined the election. Really? Did I? I feel like those guys wouldn't have signed shit like that. I feel like their track record shows that they would not sign shit like that. I don't know. I have no, I imagine I'm going to get a ton of fucking emails. I remember somebody was yelling at me one time saying that because I voted for Ralph Nader in 2000, that's why George W. Bush won. And they were just going on and on and on

about it. And I was like, dude, I live in New York. Al Gore won my state. Okay. Do you understand that? So your whole fucking theory right now is out the window. I voted for Ralph Nader in New York and Al Gore still won the state. So go fuck yourself. What I'm trying to do, uh, uh, Mr fucking red and blue tie here, I'm trying to fucking encourage more people like that to vote. So mission accomplished. That's what I'm trying to fuck not to vote to run. You know, uncorruptible. How far can you get if you're uncorruptible? I would say that you can get to the, uh, whatever level politics is when you decide whether or not they should put a gazebo in the center of town. I think once you get beyond that,

you gotta, you gotta be a little dirty, right? I love talking about this shit because it just stirs people up, you know, um, you know, maybe I'll read a little more before the next time you fucking, um, really? What are you reading? Huh? What are you reading? What they give you? Is that what you're reading? Fuckhead? Why are you acting like you have clearance to the bottom floors of the fucking Pentagon? You're guessing just like I am. All right, Mr. Informed, I read the pamphlet. I don't buy a fucking word of it. You know, you can use Coca-Cola to take rust off of metal. You can use it for that, you know, you understand that yet they're still able to sell it to us like it's refreshing. I don't know what

that point man either. I thought I had a point there. Fuck you. I'm full of sugar and salt. I'm crashing right now. Crashity burning. All right, let's get on to some more shit here. Uh, oh, Bill, we have for a good baseball season. I don't, I have no idea. Um, all I know is I am not what the, come on, man. Don't fucking do this to me. You fucking cunt. I can't scroll down because I'm getting the pinwheel. Christ. It's time for commercial, everybody. Amazon.com. Do you like this podcast? No, well then fucking listen to another one. Who's left? All right, you guys like this podcast? Well, thank you. I appreciate it. If you would like to donate to this podcast, it's very easy. All you got to do is next

time you think about buying something on Amazon.com rather than going directly to Amazon.com, go to billbird.com, click on the podcast page and on the right hand side, you're going to see the Amazon banner, right? Amazon. It was the whalers goal song. The Amazon banner. You click on that and then just go buy something. All right. Doesn't change the price. You don't have to put in any passwords, nothing. Just go to Amazon.com through my website on the podcast page. You click on the banner, you buy something. They'll kick me back a percentage and 10% of that will go to the wounded warriors project. So with you going out and buying yourself a new flowbie, maybe a pen and pencil set, maybe you'll get yourself a mountain

bike because you decided you're finally going to get yourself in shape, right? And rather than just going for a walk, you feel you need to punish your body because you grew up in the era of Ken Pitera, right? Whatever you're going to do. Just know when you buy that thing, a little bit of money goes to Monday morning podcast and 10% of that money goes to help the troops. All right. Killed two birds with one stone and you can walk down the street and say, you know what? I am a good person. So there you go. All right, let's try and find where these fucking come on with the whole of the questions here. Answer my question. All right. Oh, there's a question about Dave Grohl, Bill. I love the podcast. I wanted to see

if you would go on a rant on my behalf. First, I would like to start up by saying that I am a recording engineer, and you being a drummer should be upset by this too. Okay, he's already dragging me in. During Dave Grohl's Grammy acceptance speech, he said that their new album was special because they recorded it in his garage with a couple of microphones. Most people would hear that and think that's pretty cool. But this really pisses me off. At what point does a $4.5 million recording studio stop being being a garage? I mean, it may say it's a garage on the blueprints, but it's not like that drummer is getting his sticks caught in a fishnet. Also, I attached a photo of the drum set that they used during the recording. I counted 13

microphones. That's a lot more than a couple. If it pisses you off at all, I would love to hear your thoughts about it on the podcast. Well, look, I think what he was really doing was he was going off on autotune. So in a roundabout way, he's helping you out, isn't he? Because he did do it in a studio. I think it was more, I think he was making fun of autotune, wasn't he? And I'm really trying to give you an example. One of those umbrella, that shit, right? Wasn't he just kind of making fun of that? He did do it in his garage, sir. At the end of the day, if they took those drums out, he could put one of his 47 cars in there. So technically, it is still a garage. He should not have said a couple of microphones if you want to get cunty. All right, but you know what?

I bet he had an engineer in there. You know, I bet somebody got some work out of that. I think he's on your team. You know, I'm sorry. You went to the wrong guy in this one being a drummer. Dave Grohl would basically have to be sacrificing babies before I ever gave him any shit because I have a fanboy crush on him. So I can't really trash him because in my twisted fucking narcissistic world, I think I actually have a chance of meeting him and maybe playing drums on one track on his next album. That's the lofty area my ego lives in. You know what I should do? One of these weeks, I should actually play drums for you guys or maybe guitar and you can hear how fucking awful I am. Then you can trash me and feel better about yourselves. Isn't

that fun? Doesn't that make you feel good to watch somebody attempt something and then completely fail? And then you get that warm feeling in your chest where you're like, see, that's what happens when you try. That's what happens when you go after your dreams. I knew I was right by choosing this job that was safe rather than fulfilling. Isn't that what you do? You fucking cunts. First of all, Mr. Engineer, you are in a situation now where you could build your own fucking studio, can't you with like a laptop and a Frisbee? Why don't you start recording all these up and coming bands, get your foot in the fucking door, and then as they rise up, maybe they'll take you with them. I think there's an unbelievable fucking opportunity here right now for artists

to take control of their fucking careers and not have to have these cunts taking all your money. All that fucking behind the music shit, all these things you work hard to record is special. You're getting business with somebody and then, you know, I'm fucking, I'm waiting for money right now. People buy DVDs and I had somehow it doesn't get to me. Oh, we had, we had a hundred grand in whiteout expenses. Sorry, Bill. Sorry, no money for you. We're keeping it all ourselves. Then eventually we go out of business and you're chasing a ghost. We all take a bonus out of the money that we owed you and a bunch of other fucking comedians we take off and then you're suing the corporation, which is not a person and nobody works here anymore. So well, good luck to you.

I understand what you're saying, sir. I understand. Okay, let me give Dave Grove a little bit of shit. He may really did make it sound like, Hey, man, we just got like a bag of weed and cleared out the rakes and the fucking wheelbarrow. We made like an album man. And like, that's all you really need to do, man, because like, it's all about the music and like, if you really believe in it, people can like feel it, man. You know what I'm saying? I know he did do that. It did do that. But at the end of day, he did record it at his house. You know, he should have said I recorded in it in what used to be my garage, but what is now the equivalent to recording at Capitol. And I'll tell you, all you got to be is a monster rock star who's been

selling fucking at millions of albums for 20 years. And you can do it too. So you don't need auto tune boys and girls, despite the fact that you put your right, you know, I read about some fucking this little spazzy looking nerd in Rolling Stone who makes some sort of fucking music with with a Macintosh, which to me, I don't give a fuck is not it is music, but it isn't. You know what I mean? It's just I it's more like you are it's like you're an editor. I would say it's it's more like that. Like I don't I don't think that what you're doing, it's like you are making music, but you're you're taking sounds and all this shit that you don't have to have the ability to make. I guess that one guy that fat gal made all those those loops for Justin Timberlake and

and Jay Z. Who's that guy? Oh, that's hot to death. That that guy. I guess that yeah, that guy is I saw him he can actually play instruments and shit. Oh, you know what? I'm paying with a broad brush here people. I'm just saying I know what I was saying halfway through that I fucking got lost in the sugar of cheesecake at eight in the fucking morning. Was there a point? Oh yeah, I was reading about this fucking nerd, which by the way people can can can nerds go back to being beaten for no fucking reason at all. You know, I really can't wait for the backlash on nerds. I've had it with them. I've had it with them embracing the fact that they're awkward to the point of pretending to be awkward even when you're not and just coming up to you and being awkward and then leaving all the pressure

of the conversation on you. You know, fucking 30 35 years old walking around acting like some 14 year old on his first date. You know what? Somebody has that this week. Where the hell is it? The overrated underrated for the weeks overrated dorks. They're taking over and they haven't even done anything cool to earn it. Fuck the office. Dude, I got to be honest with you. I've been saying that for fucking years. My girl loves that show the office. All right. And I can't fucking watch it. All right. It's like, can somebody on that show be like, be aware of what they're saying when they're saying it instead of like afterwards, immediately afterwards. You know, I did like their cartoons.

Fucking every goddamn one of those fucking shows. I can't I can't get into the shit. I can't get into the shit because I'm gonna start trashing shit and then you can think straight across the board that I don't fucking like anybody in the alt scene. That's not fucking true. But I think I think the alternative comedy scene is like the hair metal scene in late 1989. All right, we're about a year away before neverminds going to come out. And they're all going to be scurried. And I'm gonna I can't fucking wait, because I'm just an old country redhead. No, I was I actually on I do resent the alternative scene for one reason only. And that's because that scene created a situation that it

basically distilled all of the horror out of attempting to be a comedian. That's what I don't like about it. Okay, no heckling, no drugs, no obnoxious behavior, no aggressiveness from the every fucking reason that it takes balls to be a comedian, every fucking reason why people who wanted to be a comic but never fucking did it, you've removed from that situation. And you've just created like this fucking comedy womb. You know, and on the top of that, it's like you're performing to just this this, it's like a radio station. It's not even a crowd. It's like fucking radio station. I only perform to hipsters ages 18 to 24, who wears skinny fucking loose jeans and have black frame glasses. It's like, and then if they have to go down to a fucking comedy

club, when their jokes don't go over, they act like the crowd is dumb. Rather than no, you're like a specialist, you're like that guy who plays in the football team, and only goes out is you're like the long snapper. You know what I mean? You can only can play one fucking position and you turn around and you blame in the fucking crowd. I don't know, dude. I just it's it's and then on top of that, the amount of shots that over the fucking years that they've taken at club comics, like we're all a bunch of hacks over there, you know, talking about airplane food, like they're above us. And then every fucking time I got to talk to Bob, I'm gonna talk to Bobby Kelly about this shit on his podcast, hopefully this week, because we were talking about some of this shit.

And anytime, then what happens is right, then you go to do some benefit, or you go to do some sort of fucking comedy festival, and then they put club comics and all comics together. And what happens? All those fucking all comics go on early. You know, one in particular is always fucking trading up. He can't go on early enough. Despite the fact his face is all over the fucking posters. And then who's got a mop up in the end, two hours into the fucking show, a club comic, you know, those fucking all comics, and they're all fucking nice to you on those shows. Hey, why are you a real big fan? You fucking really are you? Are you there nervous? Go on second, go on third, and then fucking run out with your book bag, your cunt. Oh, the floodgates have opened.

I've had it. I've had it with fucking nerds. I've I've I've fucking I get it. I get it. All right, you're into comic con. I get it. And if you're not into comic con, then you're fucking stupid. Is that basically what it is? Cheesecake, baby. It's the cheesecake. Just for the record, the old scene was started by Club Comics. All those guys, David Cross, Bob Odenkirk, Dana Gould, Mark Maron, beasts, all of them, all of them, they could perform in in in fucking an off track bedding, and they could have a great set. But inadvertently, I think you know what they did? They're almost like rich people who have kids, you know, and they they they struggled up through all this shit, right? And then they

just have these kids in their first car is like a Maserati, and they wrap it around a pole and there's like no ramification. That's that that is my my overall generalization of my problem that I have with the old scene is it's like it's like stand up comedy while wearing like training wheels and you never take them off. Okay, Bill, we got it. You've you've made you've you've made your your fucking one sided argument. All right, there we go. That ought to get some fucking emails. That ought to do it. I'm trying to be controversial this week. Another overrated. Chasing your dreams. Stay home. Jesus Christ. How many hugs did you not get, sir? Although that's funny. Underrated, watching a whole series on Netflix in three weeks. Is there anything is there

anything better than being able to skip commercials and weeks of waiting for shit to happen? Who cares about spoilers? From what I understand diehard fans of lost can't even explain the last episode. No spoilers there. JR is dead. And I'll never go back and watch Dallas. I think it's good. It's good and bad. Because when when you the anticipation of it coming out, you know, like when people had to wait for the next Beatles album, what are they going to do? How are they going to top their next one? And then you go out, you fucking stand in line to get it, you sit down away, it becomes like an event. It's like having a slice of cake rather than eat the whole fucking cake. You know what I mean? So but I do I do know what you're saying.

And the whole fast forwarding through commercials and that type of thing. I actually I do enjoy doing that. I do enjoy doing that, even though I have commercials on my I'm such a fucking hypocrite. It's ridiculous. And speaking of that, how about another commercial right now? What are we going to go with people? What are we going to go with? What what what haven't you heard me say? Stamps.com everybody. Hey, there's this there's something that we've all been going to our entire lives something called the post office. Okay, and we go down there with those crabby people who you know, who they can't get fired unless the union boss says it's okay, right? And they're down there leaning on shovels. You're asking for stamps am on break. They sit there with their fucking chewing

tobacco spitting into a spittoon. Right. Would it be great if you could just have your own little post office in your apartment in the garage like Dave grow right next to your drum set with the 52 microphones on it? Would it be great if you could just totally just you know, it'd be like if you could somehow have the DMV in your apartment and just take your own picture make your own damn ID. Wouldn't that be great? They're not going to let you do it because it's all part of the new world order man. But you can have the post office in your house. Wouldn't that be fantastic? Wouldn't it be great to just be able to print out stamps that you could put on an envelope using your computer and a little piece of paper? Wouldn't it be phenomenal to have your own damn scale where

you could weigh things and be that's how much it weighs and here's the zip code. How much does that cost? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to do that completely naked at two in the morning while eating a pop tart? Well with stamps.com you can do it. You can buy and print us postage official us postage as opposed to that bootleg stuff that's been out there. All right. What's going on with my computer? I got to get a new one. This one's full. You can buy and print official us postage using your own computer and printer. Stance.com will give you a digital scale just plug it into your computer, weigh your letter of package. The exact amount of the postage will automatically appear on the screen and I got to tell you they're not lying there because I've done it. I've shipped

DVDs to the four corners of this country and I am here to say ask not what your scale could do for you. Endorsements. Stamps.com is like having a postal expert right at my desk. Expert? I don't know about that. It's like having a postal guy right at your desk except he doesn't have an attitude. How about that? There's never any guess work and you never have to go to the post office. I haven't been there since other than to drop off the stamps that I put it on because I live in a city and they won't pick up the mail. But if you live in the middle of nowhere, you know when you got a deer in the front lawn, you know, taking a dump that's going to poison your food somehow, you can, you know, you can, if you live out there in Mayberry, you print out your stamps,

you stick it in the box, you bring your little red flag up as if to say I have mail in here that needs to be delivered. Right now, stamps.com has a special offer for my listeners, my listeners, that I can arrest you and detain you indefinitely without a trial. If I even suspect that you're listening to another podcast, use my last name Burr capital B U R R for a no risk trial. Plus, because you're my listeners, I own you. All right, you get $110 bonus offer that includes a digital scale and $55 in free postage. How funny was it listening to me try to say scale a digital scale and $55 in free postage call to action verbatim. They want me to read this word for word. Here we go. Don't wait index finger in the air. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else.

All right. I don't care if your grandmother's wheezing. You go right to stamps.com. Click on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage. You type in Burr capital B U R R that stamps.com enter Burr, get yourself a scale, get yourself some stamps, and you don't have to go down to the post office ever again. You can just cut that out of your life like a cancer that you discovered early. How do you like that? Huh? I think I'm gonna eat cheesecake before I read the next one. Um, anyway, that just totally took me off track. What the hell was I talking about? What are we 53 minutes in 53 minutes into this podcast that I'm going to try to upload and I'm not going to be able to because my stupid thing is full despite the fact that I've removed all pictures

and put them on to an external hard drive. All right. Where are we? Mail dance. Let's read this. Bill, bit of a bit of a dilemma here for you. Oh, before I do this, why don't I give you guys emails because a lot of you guys are like, Bill, I have things that I would like to be read in a bad way in a second grade manner on the podcast. Where do I email? You decide you can email me. You can email me at bill at the mmpodcast.com. Don't forget the D. All right. Bill at the mmpodcast.com and MMP is all capitalized. All right. Bill at the mmpodcast.com and you can tell me to go fuck myself. You can ask me questions. You can ask advice. You can do whatever you want. Um, and that is it. Bill, bit of a dilemma here for you. Uh, I'm an 18 year old

male who's about to graduate from high school. Congratulations. Um, over the past few years, I've been told I'm a really good dancer, uh, not ballet or artsy stuff, but just good dance floor dancing. Oh my God, I'm going to take over the dance floor. Hey, Angie, watch me. You're John Travolta. This is great. Do you go out to the, uh, Staten Island bridge and do head stands with your, with your buddy Bobby? Huh? You know, if he didn't have an Afro, he never would have fell off that bridge. If you had it high and tight, like all these Armenians out here, all every Armenian looks like they know, uh, they know, um, um, MMA moves. The last time you saw an arm Armenian dude in his twenties or thirties and he did not look like he could put you in an arm bar within two

seconds. If you wanted to, uh, if I was, if I was a Dana white and I was running the UFC at one point, at this point, what are they're up to? Like what? Like UFC 2006, you know, they're like running, they've run out of adjectives. This time it's really, really personal, right? Not saying I'm not a fan, a huge fucking fan. I'm just saying, you know, the way they, they, they have those things like every other week and there's only so many, like, you know, redemption. I mean, you're running out of words. Um, such a fucking idiot. This is what I would do if I was Dana white at some point, I would have, you know, you know what, I would, this is what I would branch off. Remember they had those tough man competitions and they would have just people coming in, throwing haymakers,

which is some of the best boxing ever is when you watch people who just aren't trained whatsoever and they just start, you know, cause somebody's going to connect, right? I think that they should have one week, they should have the Armenians versus the Russians, tough man competition, because I really think that that needs, it needs to be decided who is the tougher of the two. Uh, cause when it comes to white people, that's, that's who I got my money on. All right. Those, those are the crypts and the bloods of white people is the Armenians and the Russians. All of them, they just have that vibe. There's something you just like, yeah, I'm not fucking with that guy. Just really, I'm really not doing it. Anyways,

not a ballet or artsy stuff, but just ballroom dance and a fucking dance and over here. I kind of think of think dancing is gay from an outside point of view. It isn't, it really isn't. That's just how white people look at it. It's considered gay because it involves like letting yourself go and actually admitting that you have emotions as a man, as a white male. Yeah, it's, yeah, it is. It's considered gay as is crying, as is showing any sort of emotion as is not dying for no good goddamn reason before you 56. Um, or not dying, I should say. If you live to be 60, I believe amongst white men, that's also considered gay because that means at some point you cried something out of your chest and you didn't have a heart attack.

Anyways, he says, I think dancing is gay from an outside point of view, but I'll be the first one to admit that I'm actually a pretty good dancer. If I didn't think so, I wouldn't be out there doing it. Yeah, but dude, you got to be getting some, I'll fucking women love a guy who can dance. Dude, if you can dance and you're wearing like a silk scarf, it's fucking over. It's gonna be raining pussy. As far as my outside view, my freckled view from over in the bar, trying to stand out from underneath those hot lights so I don't get burned. You know, redheads, we're the closest thing to vampires. You know, we have, we have none of the powers of vampires, but the sun affects us the same way. A friend of mine who is a female dancer keeps telling me I could make money doing

it on commercials or music videos, parentheses, clothes on, or you could go to fucking Broadway and be like one of the five straight men who dances on Broadway and just tag every fucking lonely chick out there who's all stretched out. Just make sure you keep their shoes on. Dancers feet are always fucked up. Here's where it gets complicated. I plan on becoming a policeman. Oh, dude, this is, this is a no brainer. You need to dance at bachelorette parties dressed as a cup. All you need, dude, is that a fake uniform and a boombox and you're on your way to making money. Dude, you should fucking do that in a second. And then you write a book about it. I was a gyraton cop for bachelorette parties and you write a tell all book about how many

fucking broads who bought ready to get married, get married, sucked your dick. You really need help on this one? I mean, I'm going to read the rest of it, but I think I've already come with the solution. Anyways, how is anyone supposed to take me seriously on the force if there's a video going with me pop and locking next to little Wayne at the same time? Oh, dude, you should fucking pull people over. You should pull people over and fucking moonwalk up to their car and just freak them out. Even if they were reaching for a gun, they'd be laughing too hard and they wouldn't shoot you. Then you could rest them and then you move up next thing. You know, you're a commissioner, right? Nothing. Anyways, at the same time, I'm getting laid a lot because

of it. Of course you are. I'm a seven on a scale of 10. I like this guy. He's honest. And I'm, and like having a jump shot, it's put me up to an eight five. I'm banging tense. I've always wanted to be a cop at the parks here, seemed better if I was able to make money doing it. Oh, in the dancing thing, I wouldn't just be getting hummers for letting gross moms off on speeding tickets. I could be banging JLo. She's into dancers, right? Thanks. Yeah, dude, apps are fucking loopy. Dude, you're basically saying, what should I do here? Should I bang JLo's beat down at the club and make all this fucking money? Or should I take a job where I'm going to get shot at and not be appreciated? You know, I'll tell you, every cop out there would dance if they could,

as opposed to being a cop. I don't care if they're like seven generations in. Dude, this is what I think of as far as like dancing. I think if I if I like compare it to being a comedian, the open mics would be getting a piece of cardboard and being on a subway platform, making money that way. And then when you move up to hosting a show, that would be your dresses, a cop and your fucking dance at bachelorette parties. That's what you do on the side. That's like your fucking day job, that bullshit. And then during the day, I yeah, I would try out for those fuck. I don't do they make music videos anymore? Or fucking? I don't know. Believe it or not, I don't know how to climb the ladder as a dancer. But dude, apps are fucking loopy. If you

can make money doing that shit. And then what the great thing is, is once you get to a certain level to to make more money, you know, once you got some credibility, you can you always have the fallback where you can teach your class. You can you can be like, I danced for nine years and chitty, chitty bang bang and fucking banged every fucking broad on there. And then if you'd like to not have fucked the women in your cast while still not losing your job, come on down to Frankie's fucking dance studio, whatever, just you'll figure it out as you go in there. And yeah, absolutely. Apps are fucking lily. I would definitely do it. You want to do it. You wouldn't take in the time. To write in. So your big fear should be whatever. But everybody's big fear is like,

what if I fucking go out for the stream, and I'm 30, and I'm sleeping on a fucking futon, and it hasn't happened yet. Well, I got to tell you something, sir, I've been there. I was there at fucking 34. I was still sleeping on a futon in a fucking studio apartment that they called the one bedroom because they slammed a fucking wall in there and put a door on it. And then one day I was trying to bang the girl upstairs who had the fucking apartment right above me. And it was the exact same unit and hers was a studio, but she had been there longer. So they never slammed a wall in there. And I realized, Hey, wait a minute, I'm getting fucked. You know, I should go down there and try to get some money taken off this. I should go down to the they're fucking me over

rental board, but I didn't. I said, fuck it. Just keep writing jokes. Right. So whatever. All you got to do, you just got to commit to this shit. And and then realize that, you know, sleeping on futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. It isn't you don't see you know, it's worse than sleeping on futon at 30 sleeping in a king bed next to a fucking woman you're not really in love with, but for some reason married. And you got a couple of kids and you got a job that you fucking hate. Okay, you'll be laying there fantasizing about fucking sleeping on a on a on a futon. There there's no risk when you go after a dream. It's all fucking reward. It's all going to lead to something good. It always does. There's a tremendous amount of risk

to playing it safe. And that leads to unbelievable levels of regret, which is something else I've also experienced because I'm an old motherfucker. So that's it. That's the podcast for this week. Okay, if you want to dance, if you want to get stamps, I think I fucking covered everything. If you want to know what somebody sounds like after having eggs and then a big slice of cheesecake. That's what I gave you this week. Okay, so this week, my little vacation has ended. All right, and I am now on my way to doing some more gigs here. Oh, wait, I felt I forgot game fly. I forgot to hype game fly this this one has been a monster on this podcast. So don't be the only one who doesn't get on game fly. And I know what you're thinking, but Bill, I don't like video games.

You know what I'm thinking, you're a fucking communist get out of this country, you pinko bastard. All right, the lovely Nia just walks in on you, pinko bastard. Look at you and your pajamas. Nia bought the cutest pair of pajamas. They're absolutely adorable. They make her look like a little kid who needs somebody to make her a breakfast. Yet she wears them every day. So the lust is wearing off and you got to get yourself another couple of pairs. All right. Okay, she's not in the mood. Game fly.com everybody. Hey, do you like video games? Sure, we all do. You know, it'd be awesome. What if you could have 8000 video video games at your fingertips? What if they brought them right to your door? What if they could send

them right to your PC? What if you got a 15 day free offer where you could just use all your vacation time and just sit there growing a beard trying every video game possibly known to man? Why don't you go to gamefly.com? Why are you still sitting at your cubicle pretending to work? This is what you need to do. You need to wait till I find the email that has all the information on it. That's what you need to do. But right now what you want to repeat over and over in your head is game fly. Jesus Christ. Do I like game fly? What the hell is it? Gamefly.com over 8000 console game. No late fees. No late fees. You can cancel anytime. So it's not that bronx tail where they put the thing down. Now you can't leave. You can leave whenever you want to.

Now they're introducing unlimited PC play. Monday morning podcast listeners get a 15 day free tar free trial. This is what you do. You go to www.gamefly.com slash burr to activate this special offer. You see that? Who's looking out for you? Now you know what you guys could do for me? You could look out for me. You want to watch me struggle through a new hour of material? It's not going to be a new hour. It's going to be a new 10 minutes. And that's how I put together the new hour. I dump 10 minutes at a last hour. I do 50 minutes of the old hour and 10 minutes of the new hour. I don't know what you're saying right now, Bill. Why don't you shut the fuck up and tell me where you're going to be? Well, I'm going to tell you.

I'm going to be at the DuPont Theater. White people say DuPont. Black people say DuPont, like police. The DuPont Theater. Oh snap. I'm going to be there with the Teen Idol sensation from the Opian Anthony program. Joe DeRosa, the triumphant return to Wilmington, Delaware by Joe DeRosa. He has not been there since he dropped his last hit album, Born to Dance. That was a bad one. I could have come with a better one. Stranger in this town. Was that a Bon Jovi one? Who gives a fuck? I'll be at the DuPont Theater. DuPont Theater, March 30th with the Teen Idol sensation. Joe Smokin, Joe DeRosa. Go to billbird.com, click on shows. The next one, I will be at the Music Hall in Troy, New York on March 31st with New Jersey's

own Paul Verzi. Loves the Jets and the Giants. Whoever's doing better, he will root for them. And then the Music Hall in Tarrytown, New York on April 1st. This is not an April Fools joke people. I'm really going to be there. Are you going to be there? And I will also be there once again with the wonderfully talented, the freshly bearded Paul Verzi. You know, Paul Verzi took my personal trainer beard that I stole from Bob on The Biggest Loser. Paul Verzi took it. He took it from me. You know, as long as he doesn't steal my material, I don't mind if he takes my facial hair. Oh, you're going to go to your little workout class? All right, I'm almost done here. All right, I'll be done in a second. If you just let me do it. Oh, here's one for you.

You know, something I was telling you, what really bothered me was when Davey Jones died. Just really fucking bothered me. Just really made me feel old. I love the monkeys. I thought they were hilarious. And I love their music. And you know, what's funny is I was reading all this shit, the amount of crap that they got, because they were a prefab, they called them the prefab four, because it was just a TV show. And they were basically, it was basically the Beatles meets meets the the Marx Brothers and all this shit that they went through. But I always find it funny when you go on YouTube. And every music thing, you know, if you if you go when you look up something and some sort of music that people respect, they're like, what happened to music

and people always trashing Justin Bieber? Going, what happened to music? I wish I was born back in the fucking day. Well, here's something that I read. Do you know what the height of the monkeys fame they sold more albums than the Beatles and the Rolling Stones combined? All right, so it's always been that way. There's always been some fucking hearty going, oops, I did it again. I played with your heart, right? Shaking her fucking hips. There's always going to be that Barry Manilow. That song Mandy, you blind and you bleed and you blue and I want to fuck you now, Mandy, right? When Zeppelin was doing what the fuck they were doing when when fucking black Sabbath was at the height of their powers. When they brought the devil to their fucking knees, right?

Or to his knees or whatever the fuck it is. There was people making fucking arm Henry the eighth I am it's it's always been like that. So please, if you go on YouTube, can you please stop writing what happened to music? Nothing has happened to it. All right, what's the matter? Does it take work to find the good music your lazy cunts? Go out and go find it. All right, that's the podcast for this week. Go fuck yourselves. Don't take any shit. I'll talk to you next week. And please keep please keep emailing the the podcast because I can't I can't do this thing with just me and cheesecake alone. All right, and I think that that's one to grow on. Kiezt u in tweede handixen opp instinct of met u verstand?

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