Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 3-27-23

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

Bill rambles about Otters, a truck he should buy, and movies. Fum:  Head to www.TryFum.com and use code BURR to save 10% off when you get the Journey pack today. The Journey pack comes with three un...ique flavors and the new Version 2 Füm to help kick start your positive habits. SimpliSafe: Claim a free indoor security camera plus 20% off your order with Interactive Monitoring at www.SIMPLISAFE.com/BURR

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, March 27th, 2023. What do you say to that? Oh, it's March 27th. Oh, freckles little break here ends on March 31st. A glorious, unprecedented for the first time in 31 years. He takes three months off from the road. Did a bunch of the shit, but took three months off. You know, no pandemic needed. Oh, freckles was fucking wheezing like an old lady. Oh, Billy Babushka, as they call me in Poland, when I bring my shit jokes through, Billy Babushka playing live at the former Brezhnev Memorial Arena that they then changed, right? When that fucking walrus mustachioed guy said, Hey, you got to pay us the fuck out of here, right? Isn't that what
Starting point is 00:01:08 happened? Isn't that the Eastern block? Remember on the cover of Time Magazine, whatever that guy's name was a hero, right? A man with helmet hair and a big mustache just said, you know, we've had enough of this shit. All right, we've had enough of the jokes. We got a great coastline. We have great beachfront property. It's time, you guys, with your shit cars, pack up your nuclear weapons, get the fuck out of here. Isn't that how it went down? I don't know. I was too young to remember. Too young to understand is what I should say, but I only got four days left of my vacation. What do you think I'm going to do? Huh? Come on. I'm in Hollywood. You know, I'm going to wine about it. Maybe I'll make myself a hero. You know, this, this vacation was for all of you people out there
Starting point is 00:01:52 in the flyover states, you know, just reminding you to try to take care of yourselves and take three months off. Take three months off from talking into a microphone. See, I understand. I'm just like you, you people out there in the real world, all you civilians with your hard hats ducking at the last second as a fucking steel beam almost takes your fucking head off. I can totally relate leaning on a plastic mic stand. I got to take three months off. It's not so much physical with my job. It's the mental aspects of it. No, I'm going to let I'm enjoy my last four days. I'm going to drink coffee like a fucking fiend because then I got to take 10 days off from it. I got all the cigars out of my house. Those Cubans that somebody got me. I want
Starting point is 00:02:48 to say thank you so much for them, but they once again, they were not real. They weren't real. None of them are real. Nobody gets the real fucking. So you know, it gets the real cigars, the guys that bring the corporations, the wars that they need to keep this country afloat. Those are the guys that get the real Cubans. You think some shit, Joe can fucking jackass like me is going to get a real Cuban cigar. Maybe if I'm in Jaffa outside of Tel Aviv and I come stumbling in, those are the last two real Cubans I got. I've had about 40 people go, I got a Cuban. It's a Montecrisco. And I like the thing. I'm like, this isn't real. It's not real, man. It ain't real, man. It ain't real. Unless when you light it, you spontaneously say, Oh my God. And the last time
Starting point is 00:03:44 that's happened was when I was in Jaffa with the great Joe Bartnick. All right, the mustachioed motherfucker from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. We both just sat there smiling as we smoked and watching all these beautiful women, Israeli and Palestinian, you know, was so wonderful to come there as an outsider and just look at all those beautiful women and just the great weather and the Mediterranean sea, you know, and just be like, what in the fuck? How did we fuck this up? Oh, that's right. We're human beings. Wouldn't it be fantastic? Can you imagine that? Oh my God, am I going John Lennon here? Imagine all the beachfront available for everyone. The math doesn't work out. Only a few can enjoy it. Or what's the fucking point? How can you feel better than everyone
Starting point is 00:04:59 if they can all afford to live in your neighborhood? I want to be in one of them there, gated community so I can feel special. See, what happens where you live is you just drive down a road, buddy, not me. I have to stop at a little guardhouse. They got to look me in the eye and I got to sit there trying to hold my eyes open after 12 paps blue ribbons so they can recognize my drunk face and realize he is in fact one of the special ones that gets to pass through this gate. I like, I like doing that. You don't be weird as to be an ex president, right? And just walking around. You're not doing shit and you got these fucking idiots standing around you, still protecting you. Just want to be like, guys, it's over. They'd be like a former quarterback
Starting point is 00:05:53 and you're walking out to brunch and they'd be like five 300 pound guys standing in front of you, just in case somebody goes for the last piece of bacon. It's like, guys, it's over. The game's over. I'm retired. I love how they act like former presidents are still in danger. I mean, where are they? You don't even see them. What was the last time he just walked down the street and saw a former president? You know, walking up the street, he's got a, you know, he's got some Ziploc bag in his mouth because he's trying to zipper up his fucking ex president windbreaker. He's got a couple cigars in there. You know, they're real, right? Oh man, that's, I guess that's when you know you're not president anymore is when you catch the secret service
Starting point is 00:06:44 yawning and somebody gives you a Cuban and it's not real. I quit smoking, but I still have my after pneumonia cough. I fucked up my back. Jesus Christ. Is it weird that I watched a YouTube video of a Jaguar attacking an otter and the otter fought him off? It fucking annoyed me because one time I watched an otter eat a turtle and ever since then I've been like, fuck those things. But it's kind of funny when they fight to make this weird noise almost like, you know, like a Tesla and when a Tesla backs up, you know what makes that? Does that like a fucking like a big hound dog begging for some food? Sorry, I accidentally hit stop while I was imitating a Tesla backing up.
Starting point is 00:07:50 Yeah, otters do the same thing. They make the same except they got like a raspy sound in their voice almost like a Tesla like post pneumonia. They go like I kind of grew on that and the fucking Jaguar was like hung in there. But you got to give it up to those otters, man, those fucking things, they don't they don't mess around. The Jaguar had to be thinking like, dude, how am I not killing this thing? Right? I mean Jaguars literally they kill like up to like medium sized alligators and they go in the water. They don't catch them sunbathing like the dirty reptiles they are. Oh, I'll tell you right now, if there was if there was a hate group on reptiles, I would join it. I don't like hate groups with people. I wouldn't I like animals,
Starting point is 00:08:47 but like reptiles, man. Jesus Christ. Here's the reason why they call people cold blooded, you know, referring to like reptiles. They just they just don't give a fuck, man. They don't care about suffering. They did they kill everything just so damn slow. Anyway, there's no emotion behind it. They're just killing machines. But anyway, the Jaguar's got to be thinking like I literally beat these fucking things in the water. You know, he goes into all the hostile environment goes into the alligators. Dude, I swear to fucking God, this fucking what am I doing here? I can't even do a podcast without accidentally shutting the fucking thing off.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Anyway, whatever the fucking riff was that he went into the alligators hostile fucking environment, right? That's what I was trying to talk about. That's what I was trying to say, you know, goes in there and makes all the little alligators cry and go home with their alligator pennants going Daddy, why did the Jaguar do that? The dad alligator has got to put his stupid fucking reptile head down and just yeah. I don't know, son. I don't know, maybe because it's a better predator than we are. You know, and those alligators got to take that fucking loss. So then you got to think that Jaguar goes into March madness is a number one seat and then all
Starting point is 00:10:18 of a sudden right comes up against an otter. The Miami Hurricanes like that. This is they're not a fucking football school. These things can't fight off a Jaguar. And all of a sudden they go Tesla pneumonia mode on its fucking back. All right, like somebody out of the the Gracie family. The fathers of jujitsu. This fucking thing got on its back and fought this Jaguar off and the Jaguar was just, I mean, he was basically on its back, giving up its neck. Go ahead, go for it. Go for it, Mr. I fucking kill alligators in their own environment. You know, if I ran like a Louis Vuitton, I would have a pet fucking Jaguar. And I bring and I just have it killing alligators, go get it, go get it.
Starting point is 00:11:21 You have them just save the skin for me. I don't understand why alligators shoes and all of that shit is so goddamn expensive. You ever been to Florida, they're everywhere like alligators. I swear to God, they're like the avocados of fucking animals. Why are we acting like they're rare? They're all over the fucking place. You know, there's fucking people on my street have avocado trees in their yard. I could I could plant one the thing would live out here. I mean, then I go to get a burrito. Yeah, can I get some can I get some guaco avocados extra? Like significantly extra. Like that's the gold bar of of shit you can put on a burrito or on
Starting point is 00:12:08 a taco or some shit. It doesn't make any sense. Well, actually, but what it is is because the amount of water that it requires. Well, maybe if you built something to catch all that water coming out of the LA River, maybe avocado wouldn't be extra. Okay. And then Mr. And Mrs. Joe six pack, you know, who eat apple pie and say racist things could actually get a fucking a burrito with guacamole on it. That didn't break the bank. You know. All right, sorry. Anyways, anyways, I am. That's my deal. I'm going to enjoy this week. I went I flew this weekend. I had a great time and I the hell did I go I just I just flew around the basin, the LA basin. I had a good time. You know, it's windy. I knew it was going to be windy on a
Starting point is 00:13:04 count as I went to windy.com. And it was also, you know, I could sky was all clear. The wind was whipping around. And, you know, it's funny was I we were taken off in the opposite direction, the usual direction that we take off. And I'm sitting there and I'm running the helicopter up and there's like fucking 30 people standing there staring at me because they were giving rides and Cessna's fucking filming it and shit. You're like, Oh God, please don't let me fuck this up. So I did what you always do. You just fucking ignore them. You stare at the horizon and you do slow inputs. And right as it gets light on the skid, you make a little adjustment. You know, so at the last second, right when you lift up, you fucking straight up and down
Starting point is 00:13:59 and you lift up like a champ, you don't go left, you don't go right, you just fucking go straight up, eased it out. I was in between two helicopters, right? I fucking eased it out. No, no, it was nothing behind me, which is always nice. Took off in the opposite direction towards Bakersfield. And I got up there and everything was going fine. And then I kind of got into the mountains a little bit, got a little bumpy. And then you got to be, is this because this is a Venturi or is it because I am sort of at mountain level and I'm catching that coming off the hill? You know, I made all my adjustments. Everything was fine. I checked my wins and everything was all right, 20 knots. I've flown in that before. This is fine. I felt like a little grizzled vet. I can handle this.
Starting point is 00:14:47 What? Right? And then I was, I was all right. It was fun. And I flew over the Rose Bowl, came in the back way, which is nice. Right along the golf course and all that type of shit over Dodger Stadium, right out over Hollywood. I did that. I did like the little touristy, little touristy loop there. Fucking what's her face? The vice president, whatever her name is. God, I really don't follow Paul. What the fuck is her name? Some reason I was thinking Gwyneth Paltrow. I know that's not it. She's an actress, former actress. Who now just tells everybody how to eat. Oh no, she has a wellness brand. I mean, that's what you got to do. You know what happens? I
Starting point is 00:15:42 think in this business is you're like, I want to get in the movies. I want to get in the movies. I want to get in the movies. I just want to get in the movies. Then you get in the movies. You're like, Oh my God, this is so much more work than I thought it was. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this, but I like my house, but I like my house, but I like my house. How the fuck can I make movie money and not have to make a movie? I know. I know how to do it. I'm going to teach Mr. and Mrs. America how to lay off a Cinnabon. And fucking, I don't know, have a cup of coffee with some butter fat in it, whatever the fuck, then you become an influencer. That's where it's at. This is why, this is why I respect this young
Starting point is 00:16:27 generation, this young generation of comedians coming up. Man, I respect all comedians. All right, but what I like what they're doing is they're figuring it out really early, that it's like, if I just make myself my own little fucking business, then I work for myself. You know, but they're young, so then then nobody can steal from me. You know, no, what you're doing is you're limiting the amount of people that this there's always going to be somebody in your pockets. All right, and after they go through your pockets and you're like, Well, all right, that sucked. At least I have this left. The government grabs you by your ankles, tips you upside down and shakes it out before they get tipped upside down by the Federal
Starting point is 00:17:11 Reserve. And then they shake them out. That's how it works. There's always somebody shaking somebody out until you get to the Federal Reserve. And once you get to the Federal Reserve, and once you get to the Federal Reserve, then I think that's it. And those people are the ultimate people. All right, they don't even have a gated community. I think they live under a mountain. Nobody, nobody tips them upside down. They're like, Hey, hey, hey, I do the fucking. There's got to be the last person, right? There's got to be the last person. At some point, you have to run out of powerful people, and then there's got to be the last person. But then that has to be a group. My fucking back. It'll be all right, though. I just walk around and yeah,
Starting point is 00:18:08 I'm fucking neck like I'm raising my hand in class. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like Arnold Horschach back in the day, and then I work it out. Hey, work it out. Okay, baby. All right. There's got to be that last group of fucking people, the last group of people, you know, with no dick in their ass, with all the money in their pockets, and then they just sit there silently, you know, having quail. Isn't that what fucking Illuminati Pete, they always have like some sort of weird bird that nobody really eats, or if you eat it every once in a while. Fuck you talking about, man, I eat quail all the goddamn time. Got them all over my proper time. All right, when I ain't eating pussy, you can guarantee yourself I'm eating some fucking quail,
Starting point is 00:18:53 whatever, whatever, eat an albatross, or a condor, some sort of endangered species. You know, because you're just chasing the high, I would think at that point, of exclusivity. No one tells me what to do. No one takes my money. I tell people what to do, and I take their money. I eat whatever I want. My great, great grandfather shot and ate the last dodo bird. I look up to him. I have alligator skin slippers. God, that's got to be fucking wild to just be living like that. The whole time, it must be like amazing to just have nobody telling you what to do,
Starting point is 00:19:49 and then in your back of your head, you got to be thinking like, you know, I hope all this God shit isn't real. That's what I'm banking on, that you die and you're just dead. They have to be banking on that, man. Making money off of fucking wars. Oh, shut up, Bill. Just shut the fuck up and just be a goddamn comedian. What are you talking about all of this stuff for? Huh? What happened? You threw out your back. You woke up a little, a little more grumpier than usual. All right. Guess what started this weekend, everybody? Not my period. You wouldn't know that by this podcast, though. MotoGP. What it up? What it up? Congratulations to Francesco. He won the first fucking
Starting point is 00:20:37 MotoGP race of the year, which was shaping up to be exciting at the front of the pack until I don't know. He bumped into somebody and then T-boned Miguel Oliveira. It was kind of funny though, when he came out of the garage there and he was all right, he was like blowing kisses. The announcers were going like, yeah, he's kind of hearing it from the fans because I guess Miguel Oliveira was from Portugal or whatever. He was, or is that where they raced? I don't know. I got kids crawling all over me and I was trying to watch the race and Mark Marquez broke a little bone in his finger. I don't know how Miguel Oliveira is not hurt. He basically got T-boned. He was in the turn leaning down. Marquez clipped this other
Starting point is 00:21:24 guy and then I don't know, then he just fucking went straight into the guy's back and I was like, oh my God, he probably, I was watching the race with Dean Del Rey because we're going to go to the race number three in Austin, Texas, where all them goddamn liberals is at. In the city, they're liberal. When you get outside, then you get into the rich liberals, which are always fun people. Rich liberals are very fun people to be around. They still think they're good people, right? And then they're as they're going like, can we get these homeless people off of our sidewalks? Wait, I thought you were liberal. Oh, listen, I paid a lot of money to be in this neighborhood. I still care about the little guy.
Starting point is 00:22:13 I just don't want to watch him struggling on the sidewalk in front of my house. I want to feel safe when I go out to my Tesla. All right, what am I talking about here? So I guess Mark Marquez is going to take the next race off because he broke a little bone in his hand. But it was exciting. I think he was, he think he got the pole. I kind of miss all the time trials, but it's nice to see him riding aggressive. That's what he used to do. He used to just ride up on people, push him off the track, they would wipe out and then he would turn around do the wave. Oh, sorry about that. You know, and then after the race, he'd be like, I don't know what happened there.
Starting point is 00:22:57 I tried to go to the inside and the did not like it. I am sorry. But you know, that is racing and fuck him. I love Mark Marquez, by the way, and I'm not making fun of his English. The man can speak more than one language, so he is better than me, but it is fun to listen to that. I am sorry to Miguel Oliveira. It was all of my fault and sorry to his fans. That's it. It was my fault. That's how I speak French. Except by I go, I'm Jim Appel Guillaume. You know, everybody does that when they when they're learning another language, right?
Starting point is 00:24:02 Thanks, Bill. Thanks. The guy's fully fluent and you're fucking comparing yourself to him. What is wrong with you this week? So anyway, race number two is in Argentina. Mark Marquez will not be there. All right. Well, that kind of sucks that he does. If the same guy wins again, Francesco, back nine. If he wins again, I know it's just great because I missed all of last season because I was so goddamn busy, but it was great to hear those names again. Brad Binder. The best part of the race was watching Johan Zarco pass Alex Marquez and Brad Binder. He's good for a couple of wins a year. Oh, he's like, that's the closest thing
Starting point is 00:24:49 to an American that we have at the MotoGP level. That's why I've been watching Joe Roberts in MotoGP2, which you can't let. You can't see the GP2 race in fucking on their website. I can't find it. I'm trying to figure out how you can watch the GP3 and GP2 race. I don't know. Whatever. I'll get to see him race in Austin, Texas. Really looking forward to that. There's actually one other American at the MotoGP2 level and I'm hoping that I want to see an American at the top level, you know, but the closest thing I got is Jack Thrillamela. I believe he's English. I have no idea. Anyway, I'm looking forward to it. So the Miami Hurricanes are in the final four as is Yukon. I think everybody's bracket kind of blew
Starting point is 00:25:38 up with who had the Miami Hurricanes, who had Princeton going as far as they did. I mean, who didn't watch a game and still like fucking filled out a bracket and had the nerve to be upset like me as you just picked, you know, longtime storied schools like Kansas and University of Indiana. That's what I did. Anyway, so as I mentioned, I'm going on the road this week. My cigars are gone. I now will smoke a cigar. If it's like an event, all right, but I'm just going to be sitting here out on my back porch smoking a cigar, talking to myself, you know, late at night and my wife going, what are you coming to bed? I don't know. All right, I'm coming. Well, forget it then. Don't
Starting point is 00:26:33 come up. All right, let me do a little bit of, I feel like somebody punched me in my kidney. All right, let's do some reeds here, man. Sorry. Simply safe. For the record, people, I do do these podcasts in the morning. That's why I sound like this. And I smoked cigars for 10 years and I had pneumonia. There's my excuses. All right. Simply safe, everybody. You know, who's planning to do some spring cleaning this year? Dust those hard to reach places. Clean out that closet. You know, the one, here's my advice. Clean your house and then protect every inch of it with simply safe home security. I recommend it to everyone. Simply safe is designed with cutting edge technology and backed by 24 seven professional monitoring in an emergency.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Agents use fast protect technology only from simply safe to capture critical evidence and verify the threat is real. He's got a gun. So you can get priority police dispatch 24 seven professional monitoring services costs just under a dollar a day less than half the price of traditional home security system. You can lock and unlock your doors access your cameras and arm and disarm your system from anywhere. CNET named simply safe editors choice for 2023 customized the perfect system for your home in just a few minutes at simply safe.com slash burr. I like how he went up there in just a few minutes. Didn't that make it sound like it was going to be easy? Go today. Go today and claim a free indoor security camera plus 20% off your order with
Starting point is 00:28:16 interactive monitoring. That's simply safe.com slash burr. S I M P L I S A F E.com slash burr. There's no safe like simply safe. All right. I got some new dates everybody. I got some new dates. On the docket here June 23rd Bridgeport Connecticut at the total mortgage arena. That has got to be the worst name for a fucking arena since jobbing.com total mortgage fucking total mortgage dude. June 7th and 8th Atlantic City New Jersey at the hard rock live at the ETS arena. I love Atlantic City. Pre-sale is Wednesday March 29th 10am local time. Artist code is burr burr. General on sale Friday March 31st 10am local time. I will tell you this people I don't think I've been this excited to go out on the road in a long time.
Starting point is 00:29:18 I got a bunch of new stupid shit. I am going I'm not I'm telling you I'm going to fucking murder when I'm out there. I can feel it. I got my whole new hour. I know the direction that I want to bring it in. I got the name of my special. I'm fucking I'm ready to go. I am locked. I'm not loaded. I got to go on the road and do the work now. Now I got to build it up. I got to build it up. All right because I'm old school. I'm old school. I'm about I'm about the hour and a half to hour and 15 minutes of material. I'm still doing that. I'm still putting out albums during an era when it's all about the kasingel. Right. I was talking about that earlier though like the the level of marketing skills by today's young comedians is fucking astounding the way that they figure it out
Starting point is 00:30:11 and all of that and then all of these fucking shit storms that they can now avoid and go directly to their fans and build an audience is I got to be honest with you. It's pretty goddamn exciting. It's fun to watch CFL football stadiums. Oh here we go. I was talking about this. Hey Billy our balls are bigger. A CFL slogan from the 90s. Oh that's great. I loved your bit about CFL stadiums. I was making fun of how they look like old NFL stadiums from the 1960s. As a Canadian we love making fun of ourselves. Sorry about that. Are you making fun that you apologize or you know I don't know what you're saying. I don't I don't I don't try to understand
Starting point is 00:31:03 Canadians. You all have that weird look on your face. It's like are they going to shake my hand or bury a hatchet into the back of my head. I cannot read a Canadian and they all wear the same winter coat like those fucking kids on South Park. The one with a little fucking bear or something holding a flag. That's like big status that you can afford the really expensive goose down jacket. Anyway you definitely need to attend some CFL games while you're in Canada. You will be surprised to see how modern some of the stadiums in the CFL actually are. Saskatchewan probably has the best stadium in the CFL. I don't want to go to those. I want to go to a fucking old school one that like Warren Moon played in or Doug Flutey. Not to mention the most passionate fans in the
Starting point is 00:31:50 league. Winnipeg Stadium looks like a smaller version of Lumen Field in Seattle. Oh no. Tim Hortons Field in Hamilton. How Canada is that to name your oh how Canadian is that. How Canada is that. How Canadian is that to name your stadium after Tim Hortons. I think it's awesome. Is smaller stadium with great sight lines and atmosphere. All right. Oh Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton is that is it. Is that it. South of Toronto where a lot of people don't know this. That's I played that theater. That's where Bill Cosby did one of the greatest standup specials of all time. Despite his offstage behavior he did Bill Cosby himself. There I believe in my hometown of Vancouver British Columbia B.C. Play Stadium was completely renovated in 2011 and features a retractable roof.
Starting point is 00:32:47 That fucking roof works one time and then it's just busted. Like I remember Montreal the Expos when they had Olympic Stadium and we get a little crane and it's going to take the top off like a little yarmulke. They did that like once they were like all right fuck that shit. Fifty five thousand seats in one of the best video screens in North America. Yeah because that's what I want to do when I fucking go to a game is watch a TV screen. Dude none of this shit is cool to me. I wanted a fucking old school shithole where people are just there to watch the goddamn game and curse at the field and take out their frustrations of their own personal life on the coach. That's my idea of watching a sporting event personally.
Starting point is 00:33:28 All right anyway B.C. Place will be one of the hosts of the 2026 FIFO World Cup. Whatever the fuck that is. Is that the soccer? I know what that is. I'm just fucking with you. CFL football is very exciting version of the game. Okay they only get three downs so it's a past first league on a much bigger field with unlimited pre snap backfield motion. I do like that. CFL. I like how like you're watching and right before they snap the ball the receiver comes running by the screen like some fan ran on the field. We're going streaking. CFL rules also make it really hard to run out the clock which makes for a lot of exciting finishes. I hope you make it to a game of Saskatchewan,
Starting point is 00:34:19 Winnipeg, Hamilton. You will have a great time and come away with a new perspective about the CFL. I've always liked the CFL. I don't have a problem with it. It's football. Love your podcast. Keep making fun of us Canadians and go fuck yourself. All right you got it. All right money. Money. Money to build. Dear Billy boy on your podcast today you read a listener email. You read a listener's email is what it should have said that mentioned the expensive new Federal Reserve building. Oh is it a new building? I thought they were renovating it. The emails seem to be complaining that their tax dollars went toward the construction of this building. The Federal Reserve does not receive taxpayer funding. Holy shit is this a guy from the Federal
Starting point is 00:35:09 Reserve clapping back. Instead it gets most of its money by collecting interests off of government securities it owns. Despite its name the Federal Reserve is not actually part of the federal government. Yes everybody knows this at this point. It's as federal as federal express. We all know this. Maybe this is a good reminder to your listeners and all of us to do a little bit of thinking before wasting our time getting pissed off about shit that isn't even real. Okay but doesn't it bother you that our government doesn't print our money and that a private corporation does and charges us interest and has helped bankrupt this fucking country. Is that what you're trying to say. Oh my god. Jesus Christ this guy was just like
Starting point is 00:36:03 you know what I'm going to call that email defending Hitler's mustache. His mustache wasn't that bad. Charlie Chaplin also had a mustache like that as did Michael Jordan as Charles Barkley pointed out in one of those underwear commercials in the entire time you avoid that he orchestrated the Holocaust. All right. Yeah I think I just coined a new phrase Defending Hitler's mustache. That is when you ignore the 800 pound fucking Nazi in the room and just talk about his grooming. Anyway you should buy this. Oh my god. What can this be a new fucking segment. It's bring a trailer dot com slash listing 1969 Ford F 250. What. Oh my god. Why did you do that to me.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Oh my god. Oh it's sold. Oh thank god it's sold. It's sold for 70 grand. $69,000. Oh my god. Oh my god. Is that fucking gorgeous. Jesus Christ. But what are you looking at. I'm looking at a 1969 Ford Blue F 250 four wheel drive. I don't know if they were called high boards yet. It's got the white grill. Same front end as my 68. They changed them in 70. Oh it's got the big camper fucking mirrors on the side does not have the dual. What's the gas tank on this fucking thing. Oh maybe it's behind the license plate. Maybe they moved around. It's got the eight foot bed. Oh let's read about this. This truck is said to have left the factory equipped with a platform bed and a replacement cab and style side bed were sourced from a two wheel drive
Starting point is 00:38:12 pickup truck of the same model year. Okay so this thing's been fucked with. The front fenders were I don't care. The front fenders were also replaced. Holes were patched and dents were repaired before repaint in blue. This thing still got 70 grand. The front brush guard grill and bumpers were refinished in white and additional details include tow mirrors and Montana themed rear mud flaps. Oh there's the gas cap. They just painted it blue. Okay okay. The seller notes dense in the bed and an area of touch up paint on the front bumper that is shown. Wow man this thing's got a lot of little uh it's got a lot of character. White 16 inch steel wheels are mounted. Okay let's see what we got here. Let's see what we got here. We got a nice
Starting point is 00:39:05 bench seat sun faded. That's always cool. Oh it's a four speed. I like that. What's it got? It's got the 390. It's got to have the 390 right. I can't read if that's the 360 or the 390. Oh the 360 the smaller of the two engines. I'm glad I laid off this. It's still cool though. Well it looks like they did the underneath. It's all brand new. Oh look at that. That is nice. Further work performed during the rebuild included. Oh man I fucking love a truck. I wish my truck would show up. Oh that's what it originally looked like. And what the that was an ugly ass truck. All right I like it. You're getting close. I'm kind of like a chick right now where you feel like you did something really nice to me
Starting point is 00:39:59 and then I just bitch about it. Okay guys whatever you do don't show me a mint condition 1969 Cadillac El Dorado. I want one of those fucking things. I don't need it. Nobody needs it but you do need it you know. You know what I want one of you guys to do. I want you guys to one of you guys to buy the fucking El Dorado the same year as when De Niro's character gets blown up in it when he's playing Ace Rothstein, Sam Rothstein, Ace Rothstein. I guess that thing it just so happened there was something wrong with the balance on the car so they had to put a metal plate underneath the driver's side so it would drive like a Cadillac and it was that piece of metal that saved him from getting blown up. I mean I bet Ace Rothstein went home that night and
Starting point is 00:40:58 when his ears stopped ringing probably did the math to try to figure out what the odds were that somebody tried to blow him up in a car that actually had a don't fucking blow me up plate on it. I wonder what the odds are that. Oh gee Bill aren't you just fucking inquisitive today. All right movie pick. Oh before we get into this guess what I watched I got a little about 40 minutes less than it. I watched Sean Penn, Christopher Walken and one of my favorite actors slash storytellers Rest in Peace, Chris Penn in At Close Range. Christopher Walken is just so fucking crazy and sinister in that movie. Perform I mean it's Christopher Walken he's fucking amazing and Sean Penn you know as always is amazing. Everybody in the movie I just I love the cars
Starting point is 00:42:01 in the movie I like the story. I really thought I don't know why I just like the 80s I'm kind of coming back to it where I was just like I never had nostalgia for it. I was just thinking like this is just always gonna look cheesy. Like the 80s is just always gonna look cheesy with the fucking pastel. It was the worst era ever. Hands down not even close for American cars for just cars in general. I would say maybe like BMWs, Mercedes, Jaguars were terrible. All American cars sucked. Like if you really look at on these these these meekum auctions nothing from the 80s ever comes through and if it does it's always under 100 grand. I would say the only thing that ever seems to make money is like a Buick Grand National and then I think maybe like foreign cars like
Starting point is 00:42:56 occasionally maybe like a Nissan 300 will get fetch a little bit of money but nobody gives a shit about the Camaros and all of that. As far as like they're not like six figures I don't know I should probably shut up because I haven't watched enough of it but like I just don't see stuff you know over the years like all of a sudden more late model cars have come out but a lot of them are like from the 90s. You know the Porsches from the 80s of course are worth a lot of money but everything else is just you know I mean just think of the Chrysler product great the great Dodge Chrysler Hemi all of that they're fucking legend in the 80s the Dodge K cars their attempt at like fucking having a badass car the fucking Chrysler laser
Starting point is 00:43:49 all of those ones and then Chevy with like the Fiero and the Lumina what the Chevy Nova became Chevy Chevette petering out economy cars I mean it was just fucking awful it was awful that was a bad time to be on the prices right you could win this I knew car yes it's the 1983 Chevy Nova four cylinder four speed that was actually my dad had one of those it was a fucking great shifting car I'll tell you that nice smooth shifting I'll tell you what was cool my boss when I worked in the warehouse had one what the fuck was it he had a Toyota Supra in red like an 84 and 85 he let me borrow that car one weekend when he borrowed my truck to move I lost in that fucking that switch although I was a fun car to drive as he put two refrigerators in a fucking L-shaped
Starting point is 00:44:49 couch in the back of my little Ford Ranger two wheel drive eight foot bed four cylinder five speed vinyl seats anyway fire engine red what else nothing else AM radio I was styling yeah so I didn't think that any of that shit would ever come back and but now I'm watching these movies from like the 80s and and I'm looking at a lot of the cars and everything and what's funny too is like it was like cars from the 60s were just to drive around the cars in the 60s now that it was like 20 years old or whatever they were just starting to become classics and starting to be like worth some money like I can't imagine what you could have got some of those muscle cars for like they're in the first you know gas crisis and all of that shit but anyway I'm finally out of the 70s which
Starting point is 00:45:49 I feel has been done to death and the 60s I like but like there's still that leftover like why I ought to kind of acting you know which makes it a little difficult to like people are sort of starting to catch up with the I would say Marlon Brando's and and that type of shit you know coming out of the the Steve McQueen Charles Bronson classic tough guy actors and then you actually get like I don't know like Dennis Hopper and people like that DeNiro and all of them starting to get their first work towards the late 60s and of course you devour the 70s then you go into the 80s and this you know here's some movies I would say I'd say to live and die in LA if you can fucking find it at close range is a great one
Starting point is 00:46:44 Sharky's machine it's a little uneven but I just love that Bert Reynolds did that movie that movie thief with James Kahn blowout John Travolta these are the movies that I've been watching so far and I've loved every single one of them and I've actually there's been a few cars that I saw like is that a Chevy Monza like what the fuck ever happened to those things or my favorite one of all time oh what was that car the Chevy Citation which I always bring up on this podcast like it wasn't a fucking sedan it wasn't a hatchback it was like it was like the hot dog of cars where it's just pig assholes and fucking tow cheese and they just shove it in a fucking Sasha that was that was it was the car version of that and they forgot to design a radio
Starting point is 00:47:36 in it they slapped it together so quickly so they ended up putting the radio in vertically and they didn't even change the numbers you had to like turn you had my buddy had one it was fucking insane it was like a it was like did somebody just build this in their backyard from spare parts they're like nope this came from the GM factories um anyway so um all right what are we doing here I am reading your movie pick for this week guys you're sending me old vintage trucks and movies Jesus Christ I'm ready I'm ready to propose here um movie pick I heard a clip with Bill asking for lesser known flicks that may give a shot in the arm for screenplay ideas only me get to Chris Penn one of the reasons why I love that guy other than that I love his acting
Starting point is 00:48:25 he's one of the great storytellers of all time if you can somehow watch the DVD extras of reservoir dogs and him telling the story of um that the old actor on it so you like to tell jokes giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls sitting in a ball here is a joke for you a bunch of guys sitting around a bullpen what and how we got there what did we do what should we have done I used to know that whole thing and then they realized the whole time we were planning this caper we were telling jokes that was it so you like to tell jokes giggling like a bunch of Lawrence Tierney or something like that Lewis Tierney whatever Chris Penn tells this amazing story of that guy taking like 12 buses to come over and meet with him before they work on the movie
Starting point is 00:49:13 and bringing like luggage to then stay at his house when Chris never said you could stay at my house it was just like just effortless effortless storytelling and he just um what a fucking loss man um it's incredible incredible those those those you know I find a lot of great actors because I used to watch that inside the actor's studio which was always sort of funny with that guy just drooling drooling over like whatever actor you I hope people realize the the prejudice like he was like foaming at the mouth and how great these fucking you know actors were anyway like I always put like um like Chris Penn as far as like I always liked actors like that are like Tom Seismore just
Starting point is 00:50:09 recently passed away rest his soul where like I always just felt like they they had like this thing where they they they could they were just so fucking grounded and whatever they were doing I don't know Tom Seismore I literally felt like that guy could just any line you gave him if he just said it you believed it um another great loss anyways um here's the movie pick I heard a clip with Bill asking for lesser known flicks that may give a shot in the arm for screenplay ideas night and the city a 1979 remake of the 1950 noir classic well now I gotta watch both of those great cast Robert De Niro Alan King Jack Ward and Alan King did two movies with De Niro Jessica Lange at the height of her hotness now wait a second guys I can't be a part of this
Starting point is 00:51:06 okay how come you didn't say Robert De Niro at the height of his handsomeness how come you didn't say Alan King at the height of his whatever the fuck he was doing um Jessica Lange I mean that that name is hot you just know she's gonna be beautiful um anyway also has a two-scene cameo from Regis Philbin to be a not to be uh enjoyed De Niro's last line kills me all right well there you go I'm all over that night and not night in the city people night and the city 1979 remake go and check that one out all right well I'm a happy man baseball starting match madness is wrapping up NHL NBA playoffs um are starting and MotoGP all you F1 fans I think you guys are three four races in
Starting point is 00:52:07 what is that what is this mumbling shit what is that oh is that mine oh that's my phone who the hell was that guy oh future wait a second it just said March Madness is my phone listening to me I just let me said March Madness and then a song by
Starting point is 00:52:46 future came on called March Madness all right I'm gonna act like that wasn't creepy as hell you know it was as I was fucking talking about the Federal Reserve that's what it was man you know they're worried this podcast is gonna bring it all down man anyway have I been I told you guys my my uh my my little drum calisthenics that I've been working on all right here's for the drummers out there all right right left kick kick 16th notes all right quarter note hi hat you play a bar of that and then you go into right left kick still playing 16th notes so it becomes three against four when you get to the one you're
Starting point is 00:53:39 gonna land on the left hand and then it's left kick kick right left left kick right left kick right left kick right left kick kick and then you're gonna start with the one left kick right left kick right left kick right leg kick you'll come out leading with the bass drum foot and then it's kick kick right leg kick right leg kick right leg kick right leg kick right leg kick right left kick right left kick right left kick right three against four and then you come out with kick one double kick there then it's kick one left out kick one right left kick kick kick kick that there kick kick right left kick right left kick kick right left kick kick right left kick uh you land on the base drum then kick right left kick right
Starting point is 00:54:28 left kick right leg and then you come back around again to right left kick kick I hope that made sense you're basically just moving around the quad and in between those you're doing a right left kick thing a three against four thing that I learned from JP Bouvet off of his website combining shit here people then you mix it all up and every once in a while you throw in a grouping of four four strokes sixteenths with your right left right left switches everything up and you just keep the quarter note pulse and you just blaze around the kit and everybody thinks like holy fuck what is this it's nothing it's literally fucking moving the quad around with the three against four thing going in and out of it and then throwing in just to fuck with people's ears
Starting point is 00:55:20 four single strokes to turn it around and then everybody just thinks uh you know it's kind of like this podcast you you listen to it you think I'm saying something and by the time you realize that I'm not it's over and it is over people that's the podcast for this week one hour one minute and 38 seconds how do you like that all right that's it go fuck yourselves uh I have a great couple of days and I will check in on you on Thursday

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