Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 3-29-22

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

Bill rambles about filming, the Bill Burr museum, and collecting things. SimpliSafe: Go today and claim a free indoor security camera plus 20% off with Interactive Monitoring. Go to www.SIMPLISAFE.com/BURR Zip Recruiter: Hire smart with Zip Recruiter. Try it FOR FREE at this exclusive web address — ZipRecruiter.com/BURR

Hey, what's going on is Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, March 28th, 2022. Yeah, I'm doing this on Tuesday, March 29th. Got a little, I didn't even get busy. I did the fucking podcast. It's just, I don't know what's going on. My computer is not recognizing my interface.

I don't know if I need a new cord or what. It's fucking charging the thing. I have no idea, but geez Louise, what a day to not have your podcast uploaded possibly, quite possibly one of the most shocking moments in pop culture, slash art history. I don't, you know, very few things leave me absolutely speechless,

but I don't know if you guys saw the clip from the Oscars in 2022. I didn't think I would ever see this, but a drummer turned director, won an Oscar for an incredible documentary called Summer as Soul when the revolution could not be televised or wasn't, yeah, could not be televised.

I don't know if you saw Quest Speech. It was amazing. I don't know if you saw that documentary. That was incredible. And I just want to say I'm so freaking happy for that guy because if you don't follow him on social media or anything like that, you really got to do it. Like, because I gotta be honest with you,

the amount of musical rabbit holes that that guy has set me down and they've never been bad. And I've always discovered all of this music, air quote discovered, all of this music that I had never heard before, you know, genres and subsets of genres and, you know, people that like almost made it, but didn't quite, you know, break mainstream or something.

It's been an amazing, he's an amazing person to follow on Instagram or Twitter and he gave an incredible speech. And what I also liked about it was nice and quick too. Got like right to the point. So just so freaking happy for him. That was a great thing to see. So check it out if you haven't seen it.

The summer of soul. Yeah, I think that's it. That's all I have to say about the Oscars. Other than when Chris Rock comes and does a show in LA, I'm definitely not missing that show. All right, well, as always, we got the, you know, this is going to be one of these podcasts sliders because, you know, I got to go do this shit.

And I'm six days away from rapping on this thing. And we had one of the biggest scenes, one of the most intricate scenes to write and make sure I got the tone of it correctly. And, you know, the actors absolutely fucking smashed it yesterday and, you know, I felt like a thousand pounds was taking off my chest. And I just felt like I got the movie.

I got the movie. You know, you know, we still got a bunch of work to do. You know, it's like, you know, you're jumping across rocks across the river. I feel like I got all the pieces now. So then we'll see. Then I go into editing and all of that type of stuff. Oh, fuck it now.

Billy, big steps here. Getting outside his comfort zone. Yeah, other than that, I don't even know what's going on. Other than the Bruins had two big victories last week from what I heard from my buddies back east. We beat the Montreal Canadians in overtime. Brad Marchand scored a shot out to the Canadians. They sucked this year,

but they still always play, they always get up to play the Bruins, man. So, you know, my respect to them. And then we also beat the always fucking ridiculously difficult team, the Tampa Bay Lightning. So that's good stuff. And I heard we picked up a defenseman. I don't know his name,

but all my buddies are saying it's what we needed. And I'm like, it's just the guy that's going to fucking beat somebody's roof in if they run our goal tender and they're like, well, no, you know, he's physical, but I don't know. I still think we need one of those guys, you know, ever since Lucic and Sean Thornton left, I just feel like, you know,

you know, we have not had that person I don't know. I think it's always good to have just that one person to keep you honest. Oh, speaking of which, I did watch a little bit of a hockey game the other night. Was it last night? I watched the Capitals versus the Hurricanes.

And I love watching the Capitals because they have a great announcer. And then also like total fucking like Homer announcers, which is always great to listen to a Homer announcer. When you have a guy like Wilson on your team, it's the funniest shit ever. Cause that hit last night against the Carolina Hurricanes.

That was a totally clean hit. So they always go, oh, it's clean hit. You know, his shoulder went right into his chest. He's not targeting the head or whatever. But then like, whenever he like fucking takes three strides and boards somebody and tries to end their career, they'll be like, they was just like, you know, it was a marginal hit, you know,

as he started, you know, it's just, just like a bad luck thing where, you know, if you see when he starts to skate at him, his body is turned sideways. And at the last second he turns his back, you know, it's just one of those bang, bang plays, you know, you see at the last second his jaw came down to his sternum level.

And, you know, I mean, Wilson skating full speed. I mean, there's nothing he can do. I mean, he has to protect himself, you know, not saying that Bruins announcers don't do the same thing. It's just fun to hear other people do it. Plus, is it, is it, how do you say his name? I've only listened to him a thousand fucking times. Is it Joe Beninante?

Beninante? Is that how you say whatever the guy's name? The guy's incredible. He's got a, has a great voice. And they're a fun team to watch. Then I watched a little bit of the, I watched the end of the St. Louis Blues game. Congratulations to Tarasenko becoming like the fourth,

I think, St. Louis Blues to score 500 points with that team. Joining, I was at Brett Hall. Who the fuck else played for him? Al McGinnis, I can't remember. I just remember Brett Hall. I miss Brett Hall. How fun was that guy? I mean, you know, I wish more athletes were like him

and just didn't give a fuck about endorsements and just said exactly what the hell they were thinking. I remember one time he got hurt. This was during the height of the clutch and grab era in hockey and he came back and he was like, you know, we need to fix this game. I was out for like 10 days and I was watching hockey. It is so goddamn boring.

It's ridiculous. We need to fix the game. And he got in trouble for it, you know? I mean, I guess, you know, he's biting the hand that feeds, but still he was 100% right. That was during that time too. And I like, Mariel Lemieux was just like,

listen, I'm going to fucking retire. Dude, there was like guys like one, had one eighth the talent of Lemieux and they would just grab his jerseys. He went by and like basically water ski behind him, trying to slow him down or whatever. So anyway, I'm babbling here. Let's get on to baseballs coming.

I'm so psyched that they got through that, whatever bullshit, whatever fucking problem there was. You know, it's kind of amazing to me because I don't realize like how much money is left in baseball. I feel like they're the number three sport now where, you know, football and basketball are clearly getting better or more views than they are.

And there's those ball parks that are looking pretty empty. So as baseball fans, we need to get out there, to show us one of the great fucking games to go to. You know, the only thing missing, and I think it's just ridiculous, you can't smoke a cigar in a section. You can't stick us in the upper deck. Dude, if I could smoke a cigar at a ball game,

we'll keep and score, you know, when they had root beer on fucking tap, you know? I mean, that would be it. That would be fucking it for me. I'd have seasoned tickets to the goddamn Dodgers if I could do that. No, you can't smoke, you can't smoke. You can fucking gamble, you know?

They basically turned all these fucking sports arenas into the goddamn dog track right now. That's fine, that's fine. People coming down there and fucking blowing their kids' college education fund. That's totally fine, but oh, God forbid, you light up a fucking Chesterfield. People even smoke those anymore.

All right, let's get on and we'll read some of these. We'll read some of these notes. I am so fucking excited that that scene went the way it went yesterday. Oh, Billy, don't fuck this up. Edit it together correctly. All right, we got two reads here. What do we got here?

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Burr. The smartest way to hire. All right, great emails. Thanks Bill. Just wanted to say a big thank you for Bill still doing the podcast despite his busy filming special schedule. I really appreciate it.

Wishing the best on his project. Well, thank you. He says, thanks Bill from the UK. Look at that, getting love from England. Here's one. Your Bill Burr Museum. Dear Bill, in your podcast, you talk about the souvenir t-shirts

that you cannot throw away for sentimental reasons. I totally understand. Stand. Totally understands. Objects like photos help us to remember the nice and important things in life. They trigger a memory or maybe you tell a lovely story

about that particular event that you suddenly remember again. Here's my fucking thing. As I'm taking all pictures of my kids on my cell phones, but then like a couple years later, they look like all pixelated. So, you know, one of the actors

on the film had one of those instant cameras, whatever you call them, not disposable, the ones we take the picture in the little square comes out the bottom. And she was just like, yeah, I use it for like photo albums and stuff like that. I think I'm gonna get one of those. Anyway, you can tell such a story to your kids,

I guess with all of that stuff later, of course. You are a good dad, so your children would like to know more about their dad once they're adults. I'm sure of that. I know I would love it. Love that if I were your daughter. And maybe some documentary filmer

will wish to talk to them long after you're gone. This person is wrapping up my life. Come on, man, I like to think I got a couple, two, three left in me here. And then they'll have some great stories to tell and some wonderful objects to show. So please don't throw away your T-shirts and don't throw away your CDs either.

Too late for that. Don't you want to tell them about your favorite music? I brought them down to some hipster store, gave them to them cassette tapes and all that shit a long time ago. And please keep the DVDs and the VHS tapes. Those I do have. Just build a mini Bill Burr museum

in your own house or your garage. Who the fuck wants to see my DVDs and VHS tapes? A small hidden corner. You don't want to look too much of a narcissistic star. A cupboard with boxes and containers full of trigger objects to evoke memories and good stories for later, for your kids, for us fans, for the eventual documentary maker.

Don't think only about yourself. Think about us, the other people. Hey, hey, just kidding. Hope this makes sense. Thanks for sharing so much of your life with us. Enjoy your weeks off, air quote, and go fuck yourself regardless of the Netherlands. Look at all this love I'm getting from Europe.

You know, there's an outside chance I might be going to a wedding over in Europe. And my wife's going to kill me. I'm already thinking about doing a couple of shows over there. And I'll be like, what? It pays for the trip. You know? What do you want from me?

The hatch just blew. Look, there was a whole box of those things. I only took a couple of them. I was going to bring them back. Where'd you get lost? Collector items. Or collector's items. Is it collector?

Wouldn't it be collector's apostrophe items? Athlete? Dear Billy Good Stuff, acetate. I've been collecting comic books and unopened trading card boxes for 25 years, since I was 10. I like boxes of cards with plastics still on them, despite what the cards are for.

I.e. I don't like Pokemon, but I have a few boxes based on their value. See, this is why I stopped collecting cards because it became like adult stewin' shit like that. I mean, I just wish they would go back to the regular football cards, a two-dimensional fucking picture, with all the stats on the back,

and then some fun fact. You know, I still remember Louis Keltcher had a size 16 quadruple E sneaker, or cleat. I still remember that. From the back of his card. And they'd have a college pennant, and in there they'd say what college the person went to. They'd have their height, they'd have their weight,

they'd have all their stats. It was everything you needed. It was amazing. Anyways, it says, I was told for years that they would be worth nothing, and that my comics would be devalued by the overprinting of variants. God, now there's a popular word in variant.

The Delta variant of Captain America. Imagine 15 different cards for the same player in the same series. And anyways, and loss of interest in the markets. The truth is that there have been ups and downs, but overall, everything is up significantly. When kids would rush to open 50 packs to find a certain card,

I would just buy a box and hold onto it. Lots of times, boxes are guaranteed to have a certain card. For example, I have boxes that surely have expensive rookie cards, but I have never opened the box. That's like these fucking jerk offs who buy a Ferrari. You know?

Oh, that fuck, what's that Ford car? The mid-engine one, that one Le Mans, whatever the fuck that thing is. They'll buy the thing, and then like, they'll sell it at Meekum auction 15 years later, and it's got like fucking, you know, 600 original miles. It's like, you're a jerk off.

That thing should have fucking 300,000 miles on it. You bought it as an investment? You don't buy a Ferrari as an investment, you buy it to drive the fucking thing. They have like 1600 miles on them, and they'd better all be at the track. Anyway, so this person didn't open. He said, I was wondering if you regret

getting rid of anything that you're in, you're getting rid of anything phase. I don't, and I'll be honest with you, I can't even remember what I got rid of. I mean, I get rid of my football cards because they mean so much to me. But you know, other things, just knick-knacks and shit like that, I don't.

Anyways, he said, he or she said, I should mention that I sold five boxes of unopened cards in 2020, and I made over $250,000 from them. It barely affected my collection, and I was able to buy a house. Well, there you go, man. I mean, you're doing it right.

I mean, if that's good for you, good for you. Are there even jobs anymore? Like, I don't even know what people do. It's kind of like a fucking, I guess we don't make anything in this country anymore. Thank God for fucking people growing weed. We still grow food, we grow weed, you know? And you got the Shinola Company

that makes watches, bicycles, and all types of shit like that. Out of Detroit, there's a few out there. Hey, if you're an American company and you make some shit, right into the podcast, I'll give you a shout out here. Help your business.

You got to get things going here again. All right, badass thing, I shouldn't own, but I do. I really like this topic. This is that thing, you know, where you make a little bit of money, and there's something you always wanted, and you go out and get it, and then you get it. And as much as you're excited that you have it,

there's a part of you that says in the back of your head, you know, this isn't really made for me. This is made, you know, you know, for some badass guy that got into a bunch of bar fights, you know, and banged the hottest chicks in town, you know what I mean? That type of shit.

It's like, you know, I have a Gibson Les Paul guitar, and I absolutely fucking love it. But there is this part of me, whenever I put it on, and I see myself in the mirror with it, I'm just like, you know, I don't, you know, you think you're going to look like Slash or Jimmy Page, and you don't, you just look like a dad.

You know, who went to some fucking, I don't know, a guitar center. Anyway, badass thing, I shouldn't own, but I do. Dear Baron von Burgundy Balls, I like that. You gave me a little nobility there. About six months ago, my brother and I inherited an old Kawasaki motorcycle from our uncle. That's fucking awesome.

That's something that I own that I knew. I owned a Triumph Bonneville for about six weeks, and I was just like, yeah, this isn't me. Although I think a Ducati might be me, you know? This thing is beautiful. It's been living under a tarp in his garage, literally since the 1970s. It looks like it just rolled out of the showroom.

I'll tell you right now, if you want to sell it, Dean Delray will buy that in a second. The two of us decided that we'd learn to ride and would share custody of the bike. This is such a great story so far. My brother has fulfilled his side of the bargain, but being the bitch that I am, I've been dragging my heels on actually taking the plunge

and learning to ride the bike. To be honest, the prospect of having an accident scares the living shit out of me. Then you shouldn't ride, because that's what I was like. And I can't decide if it's worth the risk. If I ever ended up in a wheelchair or worse, I'd honestly rather be dead.

Yeah, man. I mean, with the amount that people are texting out there, it's like everybody out there has a couple, two, three drinks in them. And yeah, I just don't feel like losing a leg in shit, you know? Not only could I not fucking, I'd lose a leg. I couldn't play drums anymore, you know?

Fuck that. Anyway, it's still not the, or at least I'd have to adjust how I play it. Anyway, it's not the motorcycle that I'm writing to you about. It's a badass leather biker jacket that I bought when I was still entertaining the idea of riding the bike. I bought the jacket secondhand,

and it's literally the toughest piece of clothing I've ever seen. It's made in Melbourne, Australia, where I live in the 1960s. And at some point thereafter, had an eagle painted on the back. Think more Hell's Angels than Ed Hardy. It's also got those metal studs on the shoulders.

Oh, there's the picture. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's a badass jacket. When I wear this thing, I feel like the toughest man alive, which I'm clearly not, given that I'm too scared to actually ride a motorcycle. But I also wondered where the jacket came from

and worried that I'm unwittingly representing a biker gang. I keep waiting for an irate bikey in a matching jacket to approach me and ask, where the fuck did you get that? Anyway, I have no intention of getting rid of the jacket, even though I am a pussy and a total poser. I've attached a photo for your enjoyment. Keep up the good work and go fuck yourself, you bald-headed motherfucker.

First of all, I don't think you are a pussy. You know, it takes a strong man to admit that they're too afraid to do something. And the amount of guys that were like, I don't wanna look like a pussy and then died, you don't wanna be that guy. You know, and I'll tell you something, that's one of the great things about getting older

is you don't give a fuck. People ask you something and you feel fear and you just, you validate it. You're like, I'm not doing that shit. And then you know what happens, nine times out of 10, the other guys just laugh. I bet that would still happen when you learn. What are you, chicken?

No, I'm smart. Go ahead, I wanna see you do it. Go get yourself all fucked up. I'll be over here with my intact skeletal system. Underrated, advice going into 40, slash advice going into 40. All right, underrated, you're 30s. Bill, I am the happiest I've ever been

and I think it's because I'm in my 30s. Look at that, people, everybody in your 20s who don't wanna be in your 30s, here's something positive. I don't care what people say. I'm 100% into my own shit these days. I wish I focused more in my 20s and wasn't such a dummy. Nah, nah, that's what your 20s are all about.

Your 20s are all about making mistakes. Your 30s, you look back, you figure it out, and guess what, your 40s are even better. You just keep fine-tuning it, you know, until you're like 70. And then that's why everybody loves a fucking cool old man, because if you did the work throughout your life and you keep trying to be a better version of yourself. Oh wait, didn't somebody say that

the other night at an award show? I wasn't even that much of a dummy and I still say that. I wasted a few years at a job that I knew I didn't care about. Well, who doesn't do that? I had a girlfriend and we loved each other, but it doesn't matter, because when you're going in one direction,

trying to pursue a dream and she's going in the other, it eventually snaps. Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that. Because if you didn't go after the dream, there's a very high percentage that you would eventually resent her, you know? And then you take it out on her and then it dies. Or you don't resent her,

you put it on yourself where it belongs and then you're just depressed and then she leaves you because you're just a fucking, you know, wet blanket to hang out with, I don't know. You got to go after the dream. Anyway, I think if I can hold onto this through my 40s, 50s and so on,

then I'll be really happy. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. You do that and then you're not afraid of dying. I don't mean you have like a death wish, but you really just look at death, that it's going to be this peaceful thing and it's going to be this great release and be thankful that you were alive

and got to live and did the things that you wanted to do, successes and failures. Like fuck all this religious shit that makes you afraid of dying and, you know, putting all this fucking crap on you because it's not right. It's a terrible thing to do to people and it comes from other human beings

and it comes from human beings from a long time ago. So it's, you know, I mean, a long time ago, you know, you had some sort of fucking sickness and they'd stick a bunch of leeches on you thinking they would suck it out of you. I mean, those are the same people that have been telling you what's going to happen after you're dead.

Fuck all of that. I think death is an amazing, amazing experience and should be enjoyed, you know, unless somebody else is fucking killing you, then yeah, obviously no. But, you know, if you're lucky enough to live until you're fucking old age, I think that you handle it with grace.

That's, I mean, the very least, I mean, that's the fucking attitude to go into it with because it's going to happen, right? I don't know. That'd be a funny fucking masterclass. How to die. Anyway, as a guy who had an amazing run in his 30s, how did you keep it going?

Oh, me? I had an amazing running as my 30s, dude. My 30s were tough. Oh, those are rough ones. But I think I was a sort of unique case of, my case was special. I was really, really, really shut down in my 20s and into my 30s.

So my 30s is when I became my angriest because what I wanted, what I really wanted was to be married and have a big family. That's what I always wanted. And I didn't know how to do it. So I thought going on a stage and acting like an idiot and getting people to like me, that the girl in my dreams was just automatically

going to walk up to me like, wow, I saw your show. You're really funny. Do you want to get married? And I'd be like, okay. Like that's literally, I mean, that's a simplistic version of how I was going to be in my life. But what I was really doing was I was not working on how antisocial and how much of a loner

and what a fucking walled off protected place. I put myself in. So, you know, how did I keep, how did I get out of that? It's more the question is, I don't know. I just started going to therapy and I started working on myself. And I also kind of like, when I looked at shit

that I wasn't happy with in my life rather than blame other people, I was trying to see how I was contributing to it. And then I don't know, once I started thinking positive, I really think that I started to go back to who I was before all the bullshit that happened to me, happened to me. And I don't know, it's like you see that light

and then you're like, oh, fuck. And you just start running towards it. And now like, I don't know, after being super negative and depressed and all that, now I'm on this other place where it's just like, if I feel that shit, I'm hypersensitive to it. And I just know when I go play drums, go to the gym, go play with my kids,

take the family out to a restaurant, go do some fun shit that I can look forward to and I immediately can get myself out of it. And I also got rid of a lot of fucking, other damaged people who weren't working on themselves. That's the big thing. If you're a damaged person, I mean, I'll forgive you for that shit.

But if you're not working on yourself and you're fucking taking your childhood out of me, I'm out. So, that's another good thing. When you get older, you're able to fast forward through relationships because you met that type of a person before and you're just kind of like, oh, I know what this is. And I know how this ride goes.

And guess what? I'm getting off before the ride even fucking starts. That's the best. That's the best. All right, everybody, that is the podcast. Thank you so much for your patience. Thank you to everybody that's buying tickets for Birmingham, Alabama and Macon, Georgia.

Those are two days after I wrap on this movie. I cannot fucking wait to get all of these jokes that I got building up in me out there in the Bible Belt. All right, you guys know I love Alabama. You know, I'm going to Saas, barbecue. I haven't been to Macon, Georgia. I don't know if I've ever been there. I don't think I've ever been there.

But I believe the theater that I'm playing in is an incredibly historic theater. I believe it's the same one. They actually had Martin Luther King's funeral there. So this is an epic place, humbling place to be able to perform at. And that's it. That's the podcast, Go Bruins.

And one more time, people. You know, one more time, congratulations to Questlove winning the Oscar. And everybody who won an Oscar. It's an incredible achievement. I hope at some point you go back and you watch and remember who won this year. All right.

Okay, we shall see you guys. Go fuck yourselves and I'll talk to you. I'll check in on you on Thursday.