Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 4-10-17

Episode Date: April 11, 2017

Bill rambles about steroid mist, Mexican food and red flags.

In the mountain, in the kitchen, even in the living, they are really everywhere to ride the empty boat. But now we are going to the finish, bring them to a Bebath collection point quickly. You will always find one in your neighborhood on Bebath.be Bebath! Together, better for nature and for all of us. Campaign in cooperation with the OVAM. How's it going everybody? Are you doing good? I apologize that the podcast is late.

I apologize that it's late. I was flying back from San Antonio. I meant to do it yesterday, but I was doing a tour of San Antonio. And the day got away from me. You know, I was going all around San Antonio. I went out to Jeff Reines drum shop. I got some Mexican food around the corner that was fucking delicious. I forget the name of that place, but it's going to be on the video.

Then I went down to the river walk and over to the stupid fucking Alamo. Jesus Christ, just crawling with fucking tourists, reenactors. All kinds of magnets and shit. And I just was like, you know, every time I go to San Antonio, I'm like, I'm going to fucking go in there and I'm going to read up on all these guys who fought to the last guy. I'm going to read up on every time I get there. There's like 9,000 people in jean shorts. There's a fucking gift shop and I just say, forget it.

I felt bad about it. Like, hey, what are you not? What are you not patriotic? They have built, you know, but then I ran to somebody from San Antonio. Do you ever go into this thing? They go, no, we live here. And I was like, oh, I get it. No, I get it.

The Alamo is your time square. Like nobody in New York goes to Times Square. Okay. Nobody in LA goes to fucking Disneyland or fucking universal. Unless you have kids, but I mean, just as an adult, you're not going to, you're not just going to fucking go there. You know, you don't stand in line in your own fucking town. Okay.

One of the advantages of it being your own fucking town is you don't have to stand in line with everybody else because you know all the spots, you know where to go, you know where not to go. And when you're in San Antonio, where not to go is the fucking Alamo unless you're a god damn tourist. Then you go in there and then you're going to go over to the river walk, which is actually for a touristy thing was very nice. That man made river. I got to tell you something. That's the first time I walked down and I liked it. I really enjoyed it.

There was a bunch of people standing outside getting a little hustle going on, trying to get you to go in and drink a margarita. Right. All kinds of wacky people wearing hats, people driving by on the little gondolas. You know, it was like you were in Venice, but it was Texas. Right. They're a little slice of fucking Italy. You know, and then right around the corner was the majestic theater. Very ornate.

The word only used to describe a theater. Very ornate. Hey, my buddy redid his garage. Oh, it's beautiful. It's so ornate. Nobody ever says that. Right. They call it a fucking man cave.

Okay. So the man caves for fucking, you know, the twinkle toes there, the Broadway stars of these theaters. And this thing had like, I mean, had like fucking houses and she looks on Peter Pan stuff was amazing. And evidently while I was on stage, there was a bat flying around that went past me. And aside the fact that it was a bat, like nobody even reacted. They're so used to bats down there. Evidently they, they kill all the fucking mosquitoes or enough of them. You know what I mean?

So people in San Antonio evidently cool with bats. I don't know, but I had two great shows. The first show went awesome and the second show was just fucking next level. And I actually text my agent. I was like, the hour's ready. And he was like, really? And I'm like, yes. So let's fill up the calendar.

They have fuck. Oh, no. That's not how I talked to my agent. I go, let's fill up the, you know, let's fill up the fucking calendars. So his mission should he chooses to accept it. He's going to fill up my calendar and then, and I gave him the list of the eight teams that I have left that I need to go see. All right. So if you're on this list, I'll be doing a show at some point within the next fucking year because I'm knocking these out in the next year.

Before my daughter starts walking and talking and doing all that stuff. I got to knock this out. So I need the Toronto Raptors, the Ottawa Senators who are playing my Boston Bruins in the first round of the playoffs. Congratulations to both teams making the playoffs. That's a big deal. Playoffs. Oh, wait, no, no, no. Wait, are we playing them?

I think we are playing them, which makes no fucking sense to me. Fucking hockey. If we like the eighth seed, shouldn't we play the capitals? Shouldn't the capitals be rewarded that they won their fucking division? Rather than having to play the fucking penguins and then they knock one another out. And all we got to do is try to get past the Senators. No disrespect, but disrespect intended. I'm just being honest.

All right, let's check this shit out right now. Okay. You know this isn't going to work. You know it's not, you know, I'm going to be on the wrong fucking one. The Boston Celtics are a second seed. They're a fucking second seed there. All right. Hang on a second.

NHL playoff. Bracket. All right. Here we go. And it failed. NHL fucking playoff bracket. All right. Yes.

This is what the fuck I want. You're going to make me click on it again. I typed what I wanted and then you're like, is this what you want? Yes, this is. This is what I want. All right. The Rangers are versus Canadians. The Bruins get the Senators.

I don't get it. Capitals get the Maple Leafs. Okay. All right. All right. All right. I thought. That was a good one.

Nashville Predators made a playoff. Playing the Blackhawks. Minnesota Wild versus St. Louis Blues. Anaheim Ducks versus the Calgary Flames and the San Jose Shacks versus Edmonton Oilers. Here we go. Brad Marchand is back and all of that shit. So anyways, yeah, I got to get the Toronto Raptors, Ottawa Senators. I got to get the Brooklyn Nets.

I've already seen the New Jersey Nets, but my rule is if you get a new stadium, I don't give a fuck. I don't actually see it, but if you move to a new city, especially a state, you know, then yeah, I got to go fucking see again. All right. I need the Carolina Hurricanes, Orlando Magic, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Memphis Grizzlies and the New Orleans Pelicans. So there you go.

So I'm going to try to get, you know, probably do the Canadian ones at the same trip. And I'll try to do the fucking Orlando, Tampa at the same time. Then I think I'm going to do a bus trip to knock out those fucking three Carolina fucking Memphis and New Orleans. I think that that's what I'm going to do. And then I'll be done. And then what will you do, Bill? Well, you know what I'll do?

I'll move on to fucking college. All right. Because the day I go out on the road and I don't have something to fucking look forward to, and I just sit in a goddamn hotel waiting for the show. That's it. I'm going to dry up. You hear me? Dry up.

So anyways, I got Boise coming up and I just got an email from the theater via my agent saying, Hey, we've been watching these videos seeing Bill likes to play the drums. What if we rented a drum kit and put it in the theater during the day? And if Bill wants to play during the day, he can come in and play for like an hour. How fucking great is that? It's the coolest thing ever. I might put that on my fucking writer. I don't give a shit how much it costs because this is the thing they always say, Hey, we'll

do that for you. And then they just, you know, they pay me less money. That's how it works. Now God damn it. This isn't in fucking stereo. I just realized it. Wait a sec. Wait a second.

She, let me see something. There we go. Oh, you fucking son of a bitch. That's not it. How do I get this thing in stereo? You know, this is just one of these fucking days, isn't it? Isn't this just one of these days? Now I'm just going to push buttons.

What's going on? There it is. Now it's in stereo. Oh Jesus Christ. I thought there was something wrong with the wire. My fault. Well, you had to suffer for 753. I'll let you, I'll just say that it isn't, you know, this, you know, something, you know,

it's great about it. It'll give you something to complain about, you know, unless the great Andrew Thamelis fixes the fucking thing. I don't know. Anyways, plowing ahead here. So what else? Okay. So I went down there and I saw, I saw a lot of San Antonio this time.

Like I said, I had great fucking shows. You know what? Who's kidding who? I lost, I completely lost my train of thought because now I'm fucking mad at myself. Why didn't I think to just fucking push that button? I really thought it was the wire. I troubleshoot it. I never knowingly lied about the wire.

All right. So now I know what you guys are thinking. Hey, Bill, you know, you said that you were going to watch some alternative sports this weekend. You said you were going to watch the Masters, the MotoGP and fucking Formula One. Well, old fucking Billy freckled face. The fat titted no glued heaven fucking cunt. I did two out of three.

I watched the MotoGP. You know what's hilarious? I didn't realize that there was two undercard motorcycle races. And I'm sitting there going like this fucking race is only 20 laps. What's going on here? Right? The first one was the GP three or some of the Moto three, then the Moto two, and then then there was the last one.

So I kind of fast forwarded through the first two and then I watched the whole, I watched the whole MotoGP, the real fucking one. And congratulations to, I don't know how to say this guy's name, Maverick Vinales. You know, I saw that Mark Markenburg, whatever his fucking name is, he was cruising around and all of a sudden he just didn't make this turn. And he was very upset with himself. That's his name, Mark Menendez. That's not who it is.

That's the guy who killed his fucking, when he killed his parents. I don't know what happened. And then Valentino Rossi came in second. And both of them, they seemed very excited about that. You know what I mean? They got some points. They felt good about themselves. And I got to tell you something, man.

Those fucking guys, and you got to check out the MotoGP. It's unfucking, the amount of crashes that I saw in all three of those races. There was one guy who was going through the turn. He started to accelerate and the back end kind of kicked a little bit. So he got off it. Then he got back on it and the fucking, the goddamn bike had a, had a seizure. Fucking did a couple of little S's and then just like started flipping over. And then the guy, of course, he flies off the damn thing.

It hits him in the back of the head. It amazes me that they get back up again. Those suits they have are incredible. They got little airbags in them and shit. But still, they always end up fucking up their hands or their ankles or something like that. But this guy kind of high-sided on it, which is basically, you know, if you're a novice like me, when they just sort of lay it down and the bike starts sliding and you just kind of, you just touch the ground and slide with the fucking thing.

High-siding is when it hits the ground and you fucking catapult over the top of it, the high side of it. And that's when you get, seems to me, that's when you get fucking hurt. It's ridiculous. They're going like 200 miles an hour in something that you can just fall off of. But I enjoyed the race immensely. I enjoyed that race as much as you guys probably didn't enjoy the first seven minutes, 53 seconds of fucking no stereo on this. And then I watched the Masters too.

And I could not be happier for Sergio Garcia. Garcia, I mean, I just, you know, it's one of the things about being at his level when you go that long without winning is that gives you every, it gives every mouth-breathing Haggadahs eating fucking douchebag who never achieved anything. The right to walk up to you and start telling you about how you can't get it done. You know what I mean? Sitting there wearing a wife beater with your flabby grandmother fucking arms. You know, just giving this guy shit. And when he missed that one on 18, I was like, Oh God.

Oh boy, here we go. Here we go. Shades of Kenny Perry. Is this what we're going to see again? And actually every year when I watch the Masters, you know, I don't watch it every year. I shouldn't say that, but every time I watch it, somebody always folds in the back nine and I actually get mad at the tournament. I always end up, you know, I was actually texting my, I was texting a court who did the live final day of the Masters. And I was just like, dude, can somebody just win this fucking event?

Does anybody ever just win the Masters? No one ever wins the Masters. Somebody fucking loses it every year and you just have to watch somebody like a buddy of mine tested me, texted me, texted me and said, if Sergio doesn't win this playoff, he said that punt will haunt him. It's like, no, it won't. It will, but you know what's going to haunt him is every cheesecake factory and douchebag walking up to him. Hey, you remember that time you missed that putt? You know, giving him shit, right?

Not realizing that that miss putt is a fucking metaphor for the other person's entire goddamn existence. This guy's played in over 70 something major. So anyways, just like watching Phil Mickelson win it way back in the day and like, oh, for it was so great to watch him get the monkey off his back. So congratulations to him winning the most difficult activity known to man playing the non sport that is golf. You know, I still had to give it shit, right? It's such a, I know it's such a dude. It's so hard. It's such a fucking mind fuck.

I get it. I get it, but I would rather have to do that than face a fucking roided up. Uh, well, he never got convicted. So card your lemons, right? Roger lemons, right? I wouldn't want that guy throwing half a fucking bat at me. You know, just muttering explicatives as I walk up to the plate. Like I would much rather have to try to sink a fucking three footer than some fucking roided up maniac on the goddamn mound.

Who can't admit that his fucking career is over. So he's got to go out and take some fucking horse tranquilizers, not saying that he did it. And you know what? If he did God bless him, God bless him that he did. I am, I am so fucking, I told you I'm pro steroids dude. I'm fucking pretty everybody should get on him. You know, I want every fucking athlete on steroids. Okay.

And then the doctors can look at you and see what the side effects are and they can gradually make them better and better and better and better and better. Until it's like vaporized weed. You know, you just have like a steroid mist in me with my fucked up shoulder. You know what I mean? I'll just come in and just walk into the doctor's office. You know, they'll put a fucking hot towel over my head like I have hay fever and then they'll just have me breathe in steroids. I'll walk out. I'll have glutes again.

After 20 years of sitting on my ass and planes and rental cars, my fucking glutes will come back. They're just like non existent. I don't know what happened. I just fucking like, you know, like when you're going to make something and you got to pound out like a fucking chicken breast. Yeah. That's what my fucking ass is like after years of being on a plane. So I actually made my way across to the gym when I was in San Antonio to their sister property sister property. You mean the other hotel fucking weirdos.

Anyways, and I went in there. I did the elliptical for about 40 minutes and then I just did a fucking for me for me. I did a savage fucking leg workout. And now I, you know, I know you guys will think it. Well, what did you do, Bill? All right. This is what I did. I had the exercise ball.

I put it on the fucking wall between me and my back and then I would just roll down with that, you know, so I could keep my back nice and straight and my weight on my heels, pushing through my heels to engage. My, my veal fucking buttocks. Then what did I do? I did hip thrusts after that, you know, then I did some calf raises. Then I did the classic, you know, the things you sit down where you do the front parts of your quads and then the other one you stick them in your fucking go the other way you do the back part of your legs. And then I got on the squat machine. I don't like the one that you stand up on. I like the one that you sit down on.

I feel like you can go deeper. You don't have to worry about your fucking back. And, and I did that. I did fucking three sets of all of that shit. And this morning my legs were definitely killing me. So that's a new part of my workout. Okay. That's what I'm doing, but I don't have all those leg machines when I'm here, you know what I mean?

And my shoulders fucked up. So I'm not putting a barbell on my back with a bunch of fucking weight. Okay. I will just, I will choose to do more squats without any weight. Because I am an old man, but I swear to God, I swear to God, man, those fucking athletes, man, they got to keep taking steroids. You know, just like the singers, you know, a singer can't sing a song. What do they do? Give her a little bit of fucking steroids, right in her throat.

Give her throat the old right there. Fred, what happens? She fucking, she goes out there and starts singing a song. She makes it simple. And you know what? And in the last, the whole night long, sorry. And then lastly, for alternative sports, I thought I'd take the fucking Formula One race in Shanghai, China, and I didn't fucking pisses me off. So all I did was I just watched the highlights.

So congratulations to Lewis Hamilton, him and the guy won the Australia. They came in one and two and now they just flipped. So they're tied with 43 points. The fuck's his name? I should know his name. He only won a goddamn race, right? That's all right. Sebastian Vettel for the Ferrari team.

They're tied at 43. And Max Verstappen is 25th, 25 points. I'm sorry. In third place. And fucking Ricky Rocket is in fifth place. Kimmy Reckinen. Now he's not the guy I called. Who's the guy called fucking Ricky Rocket?

Nico Rosberg. Is that it? No, Nico Rosberg fucking retired. I don't fucking know. There's too many goddamn sports going around my head now. Anyways, the playoffs in NHL stat. We're playing Ottawa. I like her goddamn chances.

I heard that defense is a little banged up, according to Joe Bartnick on the puck off podcast. I'll be watching all of those. I'll be tweeting. I'll be fucking Facebook. And I won't be doing any of that shit, but maybe I will. So anyways, I ate pretty good when I was on the road.

Now it's the way kind of bad. You know, I had that Mexican food and it was just fucking, you know, I used to, you know, I used to always make fun. And the tour, I was making fun of like Mexican food as far as like, you know, the refried beans and the rice that they put on the plate. And I was just like, you know what this shit is? This is Mexico's version of coleslaw. You know what coleslaw, like most people don't take it seriously.

It's basically, it's a plate filler. You know, you got your piece of meat. You got your vegetable. And then they just throw that shit there just so the plate doesn't look naked. You know what I mean? Oh, wow. Look at this big plate of food I got. No, no, no.

That's like more than 60% rice and beans. I didn't get it. All right. Then once I understand, no, you mix all that shit in together. You grab one of those little fucking round pieces of bread, whatever the fuck you call it. You put it on there, you know, a little bit of hot sauce. It's delicious. You got a little bean and rice fucking fucking thing there.

Think I'm a jig. Sorry. I'm white. I don't know. I'll learn it. I've only been out in LA for 10 years at some point. I'll learn it. Was that a tostada?

I know what an enchilada is. I know what a crispy taco is. She said crispy or puffy? I've never heard puffy before. I always go crispy. You know what I mean? But the crispy tacos, it's only good on the first bite because then the whole fucking thing falls apart.

You know what I mean? It's like an old person's hip. You barely touch it and the whole thing just cracks and it doesn't work anymore. So you kind of got to go soft taco, right? The flaccid taco. All right. I'm sorry. But then if you mix the beans and rice in there.

All I can say is ... It's goddamn delicious. Let me do a little bit of advertising here. A little ads here for the week here. What am I doing here? Come on. Why won't this computer work right for now? Oh, here we go.

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Type in Burr that Stamps.com enter Burr one more time. Stamps.com. Never go to the post office again unless you're one of those weirdos that collect stamps. Okay. Yeah. I flew for the first time. I went up with an instructor and holy shit. Anybody out there who flies helicopters.

I mean, geez, I missed the fucking pad when I was coming in. I mean, I missed it by probably 60 yards just coming in way too fast. I was like, I got, I got settling with power. Fuck this. I continued on past it like you're supposed to came back around the next time. You know, I came up a little short, took me about, I don't know, 26 goes around till I was starting to feel it again. And it was funny.

Like my fourth time, I just flew the traffic pattern down there at Long Beach and my fourth time around, I was turning to go downwind and I just started laughing. And my instructor started laughing too because he knew I was laughing. I was just like, this is fucking awesome. It's just fucking, it's fucking awesome. And it just totally relit the fire in me to go do it. And I'm going to try and fly again before the end of the month. So if I can just kind of fly like once every 10 days or something while I'm getting the

little one going, you know, I would be very happy with that. It's such a, it was such an accomplishment in my life to get my pilot's license. I would hate to just not do it and forget how to do it. It's so much fucking fun. And it's really safe. You know what I mean? If you just do what they say, the way they maintain them. I know everybody always tries to freak out, but you know, they're always freaking me out.

Like, dude, be careful up there. Be careful. Oh yeah, okay. You know, I was going to fly with a blindfold. Yeah. But I get it. I get it. Anyway, so let's, let's plow ahead here.

Oh yeah. So I ended up, you know what? I can't plow ahead here because I was going to start doing the reeds and I'm only at 28 minutes. So I need to run my yap a little bit longer. So, um, yeah, I think we flew the TAV traffic pattern for like just like a little over an hour. I got a 1.1 on the Hobbs meter and didn't do any autos.

It was just all low approach, you know, normal approach, steep approach. That's all I was doing. And, um, it was fun flying the 22, which is my, that's my favorite one. Even though the 44 is cool, you know, it's a nicer one. I just love the 22 is like driving an old sports car with no power windows, no power steering, fucking drum brakes. I always just put that one. It's just like, um, whatever it's doing, I'm actually doing it.

I heard on some of those high end helicopters, if you want to, if you want to hover, you just push a button and it just does it for you. That's the one you get when you get older. You know what I mean? I don't want to sit here drawing on a dime. Um, all right. You know what? I'm just going to start reading these fucking, I'm going to start doing the reads here for

the week. Oh, by the way, what, what's the deal with all the haunted houses in San Antonio? You know, it was the usual stuff as far as, uh, as far as, you know, how Texas goes. Texas is the king of the shiny four door pickup truck that's never seen a construction site or off road in Texas. That's a four door sedan. And I'll tell you, they got some fucking nice ones. I saw a guy pull up in a Ford F 150 four door.

It's got giant tires on this old fucking guy, big white cowboy hat, big fucking belt buckle and white cowboy boots. And I was just like, ah, this is just, you know, as a tourist, it's like, that's what the fuck I wanted to see. Now I can say I went to Texas. You know what I mean? I don't want to see somebody looking at their fucking iPhone. I can do that out here.

All right. So I go from yogurt shop video. All right. Bill turns out that nut job, I don't even remember this who was a costing the couple. Oh, oh, oh, that's right. This goes back to like a couple podcasts to go where there's this woman who was trashing these two people for kissing in public saying that it was sexual harassment and all of that type of stuff.

And, uh, I kind of agreed with her on, on a level is I just, I hate watching people kiss in public, you know what I mean? Give each other a quick peck, you know, going for one real one if you want to, but then just keep it moving. You know what I mean? To literally sit there, take it to the point where her pussy's getting wet and your dick starts standing up. It's like, what are you doing?

Get the fuck out of here. It's gross. All over each other. I fucking can't stand it. I don't like it in movies. You know, it's disgusting. Um, anyways, it's, so here's an update for this lady flipped out and was yelling at them. She was, I don't know, going to call the cops.

I couldn't get through the whole thing because she looked like she was a little, uh, you know, had some mental issues going on. Something was going on. She was extremely lonely or somebody filled her up with Jesus. I don't know what happened. Anyways, Bill turns out that nut job who was accosting the couple at the yogurt shop is an amateur porn actress. Yeah.

And witnesses say that the guy only kissed his girlfriend on the forehead. No lip service. Oh, all right. My fault. And it wasn't the first time she's yelled at people in public. It took the internet like half a day to get to the bottom of it. Oh, that's too bad. Uh, that's too bad.

You know what I mean? You know, it's weird about watching porn. As much as you watch it, you know, nobody wants to do it. No, that was not a fucking job. All right. Let me read this here. Go to the page. Go to the page.

That's what I sage. All right. Here we go. Is it going to come up for me viral video of meltdown over four? How exactly did they figure out who she was? How does the internet get to the bottom of all of this stuff? All right. Here we go.

Recently a viral video video went viral having a meltdown over a forehead kiss. Yeah, that's all happened at a Santa Monica restaurant. It goes so far to believe that the women woman is something, something that seems screaming. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, come on, man. It's not enough. It's not enough. She made an ass of herself.

We got to take it. I don't fucking know about this person. Feel bad for her. Hope she turns her life around. All right. Update great barrier reef. It's time for another update. Sounds like your skepticism of the reports that it ain't all that bad was warranted.

All right. The great barrier reef. Yeah, this is more shit. I don't want to read about fucking people have gone crazy doing porn and I don't read about the fucking great barrier reef diet. What are you guys doing to me? I got another fucking 27 minutes to go. Oh my God.

It's just a holy shit. Okay. Great barrier reef at terminal stage. Scientists despair at latest coral bleaching data. Australia's politicians has betrayed the reef and only the people can save it. I should read this because maybe I don't know. Maybe they can turn it around because there are uplifting stories about nature out there, you know, where certain species are making a big comeback.

You know what I mean? All right. Back to back. Severe bleaching events have affected two thirds of Australia's great barrier reef. A new aerial survey have found. The findings have caused alarm among scientists to say the proximity of the 2016 and 2017 bleaching event is unprecedented for the reef and will give damaged coral little chance to recover.

All right. What site is this? This is called the Guardian. Now, what is their agenda? Yeah. I mean, you never know what the fucking believe here. Scientists with the Australian Research Council Center of Excellence. Jesus Christ.

Take it down a little bit, huh? Fucking arrogant bastards. For coral reef studies last week, compiled aerial surveys of the world's largest living structures, scoring bleaching at 800 individual coral reefs across 8,000 kilometers. The results show the two consecutive mass bleaching events have affected 1,500 kilometers stretch, leaving only the reef's southern third unscathed. Oh boy. Oh, there you go.

You know what the deal is? We have to go. A significant portion of us have to go. You know, maybe it's good that the robots come. Are they going to be electric robots? Are they going to require oil also? But you know, something, all these fucking electric cars, you know, when you go to just like when that Tesla, that giant Tesla battery.

Now, what do they do with that when you're done with the car? What happens to that battery? I know that car constantly has updates. Does that also include the battery? Can you make the battery better? Let's look that up. I bet there's a bunch of fucking oil companies putting some shit out, true or otherwise about this. Tesla car footprint.

Okay, let's see. The carbon footprint of Tesla manufacturing. Tesla's electric cars aren't as green as you might think. The electric cars aren't green. Yeah, nothing is green. Nothing is green. Then Doug Stamino had a great joke. He said, the greenest thing you can do is kill yourself.

And I would go further if he didn't just say and then have yourself buried in the top soil. So you fucking give it some nutrients. Actually, we're also full of fucking God knows what McDonald's and shit. You'd probably cause the tree next to your body to die. Does the Tesla Model S electric car pollute more than an SUV? This is the green car report. All right, let's see. Let's see.

Who's kidding who? The Tesla is not about being green. That's about going zero to 60 in 2.3 seconds. Does the supposedly clean green Tesla Model S really pollute more than a gas guzzling Jeep grand Cherokee sports utility vehicle? That's what one analyst has claimed. Now, what I love about this is everybody has a dog in the fight. Obviously, the oil guys don't want you to switch over to the fucking electrical shit. And all the electric people, they are so convinced that batteries, you know,

didn't Michael Jordan do a commercial a long time ago about recycling your batteries? Didn't he do that? You know, that's how I know about it, right? Because an athlete told me not to do it. But what about that giant battery at the bottom of the Tesla? What do you do with that thing? What do you do with that when it's done? All right.

In an exhaustive 6,500 word article on the financial website seeking alpha, analyst Nathan Weiss lays out a case model S that the case model S actually. Okay. Okay. We know what he said. He said it was worse as an S owner. I was shocked for me. I just felt this is crazy.

Although the carbon emissions were not a big factor in my decision. Okay. Weiss has been advising his clients to short the stock of Tesla. All right. Not so fast power plant emissions count. All right. I'm not reading all this fucking shit. You know what this is?

This is just a media war right now going on. And I don't know where the fuck to get the facts. And I'm not going to just look at the first goddamn thing and read it. I have no idea. You know, but I can tell you this. All right. I know that guy that had a Tesla has like ridiculous security around him. Because remember that guy who came up with the car that could drive across the country

just on water. And then he went around and told people about it. His last words when he walked out of the diner was they poisoned me and then he died and then his car disappeared. I know that sounds crazy, but that's a true fucking story. It's a true story according to the internet. All right. Follow up girl who gave weed up to made him.

I love the follow ups everybody. This is like our own little mini series here on the podcast. This is tremendous. I'll give you that guy's name too. You guys can look it up. You guys let me know if you think this is fucking real or not. All right. Water power.

Car. Inventor vanishes. What is his name? What's his name? What's the name of the fucking water guy? Yes. Stanley Myers. Water fuel cell.

There you go. Look that guy up. Go down that fucking rabbit hole. M-E-Y-E-R. I think it's how you spell it, right? Stanley. Stanley's are always fucking honest, aren't they? One of my favorite promoters around the country.

That's his first name, Stanley. Right. It's fucking rain. All right. Follow up to the girl who gave me the weed ultimate him. All right. For those of you missed the podcast a couple of times ago, there was this woman. This guy was dating.

You know, he's always smoking weed around her. She had problems with alcohol and shit. And then one day, I don't know, she cleaned up and she just lashed out at him and said, he needs to just totally quit smoking weed or, you know, it's either her or the weed. All right. So here we go. It says, yo, brother Bill, on four three, you responded to my email about the ultimate and my girlfriend gave me her versus weed.

My fucking computer's going to die. Hang on. I got to hit pause. I can't keep fucking yammering. Expect you guys to listen to this shit. All right. I'm back. I'm back.

I'm powered here. I'm powered up here. All right. On four three, you responded to my email about the ultimate. And my girlfriend gave me her versus weed. Either choose her or the weed man. She has since admitted that she was being a cunt by giving me the ultimate him and no longer cares if I smoke.

She has since been smoking more weed than me. And two days after she gave me the ultimate him, the following happened. Yeah, dude, I don't need to read this. See, this woman is unstable. She needs to get help. And if I was you, I'd get out of this relationship. But I'll read it for the entertainment value here. She stumbled into our apartment so drunk that she couldn't stand.

She was accompanied by another man. Oh, bonus. Here we go. The guy she was with happened to be the one guy that she swore she'd never talked to again, because a couple months ago he sent her a 10 page email professing his love for her and trying to convince her that I'm an asshole and she should be with them up until that point. They were friends that hung out on occasion, which I was okay with Jesus.

But after he sent the love letter, which she read to me, she told me she would never speak to him again. Why did she read this to you? You didn't need to hear all of that. Okay. Anyways, back to the cup a couple of days ago, we got in a fight and I said I was going to leave because of the bullshit weed ultimate him. But instead she left.

What? Anyways, back to a couple days ago. So wait, when did she stumble in? This is like a fucking Tarantino movie. Two days after she gave me. All right. So I guess before this bullshit happened, you said you were going to leave due to the fucking weed ultimate him.

Is that what you're telling me? But instead she left claiming she was spending the night at her sister's and said she went straight to this dude's place, got shit-faced drunk, went to a bar with him, then came back to the apartment, both of them. She did not expect me to be home. When she saw that I was there, he immediately walked out. Oh, Jesus. She was so drunk.

She was unresponsive. So the fight didn't come until the next morning when she claimed that the only reason he walked in was probably because he was just making sure she got home safely. Oh boy. I told her that I'm done and that I'm moving back to my home state seeing as she is the only reason I no longer live in my home state. Good move. Good move, sir.

Since this incident, she's been crying and begging for me to stay and wants to get married, et cetera. Get the fuck out of here. She claims that she has no interest in him and she was just mad at me and was under the impression that I had already packed my things and left and she just needed a friend at the moment. Those are all lies. And this is the tip of the fucking iceberg, sir, that goes all the way down to the fucking

ocean floor. Personally, I don't think I can forgive her or trust her, but I need to make a decision and fast. Get the fuck out of there, sir, because I'm either going to tough this out and stay here. Oh, Jesus, hoping this shit doesn't happen again, or I'm going to get the fuck out of dodge and move back home and start over. Help me out, brother. Should I stay or should I go?

Your thoughts. Thanks. And go fuck my life. No, not fuck your life. If you stay, you're fucking your life, too. Get out of there. Now that you just heard what you wrote out loud back by me reading it out loud, which probably made no sense.

You realize how insane that is, how insane it would be for you to do that. I'm almost thinking, you know, as much as she needs to get her life together, you need to look at yourself as to why you would stay with a person like this. Yeah, you need to get the fuck out of there, dude. All right. You still get your whole life ahead of you. All right. And as far as like marrying somebody, you basically get one draft pick.

All right. Because when you get divorced, your franchise gets cut in half and then you start drafting in later rounds, you know, you're getting older and shit. This is your number one draft pick. This is what you're going to pick. This person with all the fucking problems they're having at the college level. I'm telling you, get the fuck out of it. Right.

Dude, I mean, Jesus Christ. If you don't believe me, go ask. Tell 20 strangers that fucking story. I swear to God, they're all going to say the same thing. Get the fuck out of there. Go on, Dr. Phil. You need to get the fuck out of Dodge. He'd say the same thing.

Actually, he probably wouldn't because she's a woman. His audience is female. Probably going, well, maybe if you smoked a little less weed and she tried to fuck a little less other people, maybe y'all could find a middle ground. Now the women would be like, I inserted myself into that situation. All right. Men going their own way. You can't go away.

All right. This is a fucking amazing. Okay. Hey, yo, Billy boy. I was wondering if you were secretly behind this movement. This is fucking crazy. This right here is there's some movement evidently down in Australia, down in all Z, down in all is whatever the fuck they say.

I don't know if the fuck they say. I've only been there a couple of times. Oh, the plug came undone. Was there a reason why they turned the plug into a magnet? You know, back when it plugged in, it did much better. I guess it's easier to find. You know, it's got navigation kind of and you can find the fucking hole, but it won't stay in there.

All right. There's a growing movement of men in Australia called men going their own way. I just paused for all the guys listening to this with their girls so she could have time to roll the rise and be like, Oh God. All right. MGTOW. It's an offshoot of the men's rights movement. But rather than getting stuck in and tack stuck in and tackling issues.

No, rather than getting stuck tackling issues. These guys have vowed to stay away from women, stop dating and not have children. Jesus. Essentially MGTOW is a statement about living your life rather than trying to make a woman happy. Sorry. Happy. Sorry.

I don't know if that's what you're saying or being a slave to cultural expectations. One SW member says, This isn't about a specific rule book, more a mindset. Although there are purists in the movement who are the most extreme and avoid women entirely. There's a growing number of men who've had enough, enough of the feminism and enough of being told they have to work for a greater good, which doesn't actually exist. Manosphere and it's like going down a rabbit hole. This person says happiness here is supposedly freedom and shunning relationships is now sweeping through the younger generations.

Is it? Or is this just a very interesting article? Okay. Tom 15 from NSW North Southwest, whatever the fuck that is, is what you call is what you would call the growing number of teens going their own way. Jesus. This kid never even got off the ground. He goes, it's probably not true of all women, but I got the feeling that women are actually

dangerous. Maybe the men around me have just had bad experiences. He tells the news woman. He said it's scary being a teenage boy. I'm not sure how it all, it's all meant to fit together in the future, says Tom. Last year, my uncle lost everything because his wife of 40 years decided she didn't love him anymore. Just like that, she randomly got up and left.

It got nasty and he lost everything. His house, cars, and loads of money. There's no way I'm ever getting married. Well, I mean, shit, you saw a very traumatic thing. Of course, teenage boys look at other males in their life to gather some perspective. I'm just going to read quotes because I'm not going to read all this. My older brother was 20, was dating a girl for a few months. She turned real nasty in the breakup and made a string of allegations to the police.

That made me suspicious of women too. My brother's a good guy. Okay. Why should she be able to just say what she wants, accuse him of anything, and then get on with her life like that? It doesn't seem fair to me. I'm not sure what rights I have. Maybe none.

Okay. Both sexes. Okay. It's crucial that we encourage our children, find a mentor, a teacher, or some blah, blah, blah. Someone who supports, communicate. Yeah. About skills, getting a healthy relationship. That's exactly what I was going to say.

What are you just going to walk away from women? You know, you're never going to bang another one. Maybe just go on Tinder. Look, you can get a lot done not being in a relationship, male or female, just focus it on your fucking career. But if you want to be alone, that's fucking cool. But to do it because of fear reasons is wrong. What you need to learn how to do is set up your relationship.

And how you set up a relationship is you have to, don't pretend to be something you're not and just tell them what the fuck you want. From day one when she's going like, do you watch sports all the time? Be like, yeah, I love them. Love them. You know, I like doing most when I do that. I like drinking a beer and then going out smoking a cigar. That's what I do.

Hey, sweetheart, what do you do? Don't lie to me. Just tell me what you do. And let's see if what you do mixes what, what, what I do. Cause if we both start pretending that we don't do what we do, we're going to go back to doing what we're doing. Oh my God, you changed. No, I didn't change.

I just, I just started being myself for the first time around you. I didn't mention that I was into dog sleds. Yeah. Well, I just figured during the first three months, I'd make you fall in love with me and then I would bring my 18 Huskies into the fucking house. All right. You're talking about a guy who's made every fucking possible mistake that you can make in a relationship.

I fucked up more goddamn relationships with great women. I gotta tell you something. Okay. You know, I dated some great women and I fucked them all up. All right. And it wasn't till I met my now wife, not saying I didn't make a bunch of fucking mistakes after that, but I just met somebody that, I don't know, I was in that part of my life where I could just be like, all right, this is what I do.

Is that what you do yet? I never, you know, that's the one thing I am. You're one of the few things I am proud of with all the relationships I've had with women is I've never like, I never judged them as far as like whatever the fuck they were into, I didn't give a shit, you know, whatever you want to do, just, just fucking do it. Cause I just looked at it like if I give you that sort of freedom, then you'll give it back to me. And if you don't, then I'm fucking out of here.

And what are you going to say? What are you going to say? That's the thing. That's my, you know, my friends come over here. It's Christ. You're always fucking cleaning up the kitchen. You're fucking doing all this type of shit around the house. It's like, exactly.

It's the genius. I earn a great living and then I come home and I fucking crush it. So then when I'm going to go out and go see my buddy play drums tonight, what's my wife going to say? No. Why? Cause you have a daughter. Ah, shit.

You're right. Okay. She's got the daughter car now. So what am I going to do? I fucking love my daughter. It's so great coming home to her now. That's the best. It's the greatest thing ever.

Greatest thing ever. She's not, she slept through the night for the first time. Of course, the day I had to get up early, you know, and fly out. So I missed the last three hours. She, she, I think she slept. She slept from like 10 to like seven in the morning. It was fucking unbelievable. And she's such a cute, happy, chill kid.

I'm so happy about that. You know, cause I am a fucking lunatic and I, she's not home right now. That's why I'm doing the podcast a little late too. So she's out with her mother and that is my goal. You know, I don't know if we'll have another one. I have no idea, but whatever kid or kids that I end up having, I want them to be happy. Relaxed. I want them to feel like they can approach me.

They can ask questions. I am by no means going to be a pushover. I'm not going to buy him a bunch of shit. I'm already against that. Buying kids fucking toys before they're like three years old or two and a half is stupid. They don't even know what toys are. Okay. They want to go out in the kitchen.

They want to play with pots and pans. You know, they want to play with your shoes. They want to play with everything but toys. Toys actually bore them. Okay. You get them some pots and pans. It's over. They love them.

They like the noise. They like the handles. They like making a fucking mess. It's great. But, you know, I'm not going to be that fucking person buying 78 fucking iPads. It'd be funny if my daughter's pissed at me in the future and she goes back and listens to this episode and is now playing it to me sometime in the future. You know, Jesus. Oh, that'd be a rough one.

Anyways, let's plow ahead. Let's get. Yeah. So I would say like that whole like men going their own way. I don't know. That's silly. Why would you do that? You're 15 years old.

You're in the prime of your life. You don't want to be in a relationship. Just be that guy with finger bangs chicks on the weekends. You know, and then on Monday when you go to school and they're like, Hey, you know, like, are we going to do that again? I know if you want to hang out. I mean, I'm kind of doing. And then when they fucking go like, so what's your deal? You're just going to finger me.

And it's just like what you didn't enjoy it. Like I did something bad. You know, just I just don't want to be in a relationship right now. I'm young. You know, and they called it finger banging. Do, do, do, do, do. All right. Girlfriend spiked my drink.

Jesus Christ. You know what's funny? If I said that in front of a crowd, everyone would laugh. It's the other way around. Everybody gasps. What you do spike your drink and fucking take your wallet. That's how a woman rapes a man. All right.

Hey, Bill, a couple of months ago, I went to a party went to a garden party. To reminisce with my old friends a couple of months ago. I was Ricky Nelson, everybody. If you didn't recognize it a couple of months ago, I went to a party with a few friends. Among them was the girl that would become my current girlfriend. I had a few drinks, but was shocked to see just how drunk they got me. I don't remember the entire night because I was so drunk. You know, some of these are so fucking over the top.

I just can't believe it. Don't even tell me then you ended up with this person. I'm supposed to believe this. I went to the bathroom twice because I felt I was going to throw up today. My girlfriend confessed to me that she and her friends had spiked my beer with shots of vodka. All right. That's not so bad. That's some college shit.

You didn't taste it. She thought it was a funny prank until I clearly expressed how fucked up that I was. She apologized and all that saying she never wanted to hurt me. But I'm thinking this is breakup worthy. Most of my friends and family agree I should leave. This isn't the only issue in our relationship. And I'm thinking red flags of this caliber are too large to ignore. Should I walk away?

Well, dude, you only gave me one piece of the puzzle there. You know, if she was drunk and she was in a silly mood with her friends and they fucking did that. I don't know. But like it seems like there's a bunch of other shit that she's doing. And you already seem convinced that you should fucking walk. So I don't know what the other stuff is. So I can't give you advice on that one, sir. I don't have any.

I'm a hung jury on this one. I need more information. I don't want to tell you. So I don't know if that's the only one that you were going to tell me. And that's not a great way to start a relationship. It is kind of funny, though. I don't know. I'm kind of an Elkie.

So in a way, that's my dream girl. You know, at some point you also got to admit that, you know, she did buy a couple of shots that night. Didn't she? You just didn't know it. All right. I'm taping a lot of shit on me TV for me TV. I'm taping a couple of episodes of what the fuck's the name of that show? What's the name of the show?

Valerie Bertinelli was in with the redheaded lady. And then the other chick and then Schneider next door. The fuck was the name of that show? Not the apartment, not the odd couple, not three chicks and a janitor. What the fuck was the name of that shot? S C H Schneider. Sit calm. Let's see what we got.

What do we got? One day at a time. One day at a time. I taped a couple episodes of that and then an episode of Alice. I didn't remember how those fucking theme songs went. Do you guys remember those ones? Day at a time theme. It's called This Is It.

The fuck out of here. What happened to my memory? Let's see if I remember this. This is it. This is it. Oh yeah. Like what it did. This is it.

This is it. I used to have such a crush on Valerie Bertinelli, but they were so fucking broke. That's what all these fucking 70s sitcoms were about. They were just fucking broke ass people. I guess it was reflecting the economy at the time. You know? Like Alice was like, you know, divorced, driving this piece of shit to Phoenix. Remember that?

Ford LTD station wagon. What is that? That cannot be the real fucking song. That was fucking horrible singing. That's what happens when we let the star of the show sing it. Did she sing that fucking thing? You know what? I can actually block out the singing to listen to the old studio musicians.

That's what I miss because now it's just some asshole with the fucking laptop and the keyboard. Those are all individual people playing all those instruments. There's a new bitch in town and she's feeling good. Got divorced, got the station wagon and I'm in a new neighborhood. Remember that kid who played Tommy? He was fucking adorable. And then in between like season five and season six, he grew like three feet and that includes his teeth. All of a sudden he had these fucking horse teeth.

He was fucking gigantic. He looked like he went from fucking being her kid to being a walk on for the Phoenix sons. Anyways, that's the podcast for this for this Monday. I want to thank everybody that came out two shows at the Majestic Theater on a Sunday night. I know all you guys had to go to work the next day. I had such a great time. San Antonio is great. Oh, I didn't talk about it.

I went to the Spurs game. Went to the Spurs fucking against the LA Clippers. Great game. Fucking amazing fans. Very, very knowledgeable of the game. I got to see their five championship trophies. They got them right out there where you can see them, took a picture and all that shit was great. But I got to tell you something.

If you want to win some free shit, go to a Spurs game. I've never seen so much free shit given out in my life. First of all, they had this coyote in a guy in a coyote mascot costume. And like 19 times during the game, he stole the vendor's cotton candy. And they would play the Benny Hill song. And the vendor would sort of mock chase him around as the thing was fucking throwing free cotton candy all over the place. They did that like 10 fucking times, which made me immediately think like they ordered too much cotton candy this month. It's going bad.

Let's just get rid of this shit so we don't have to throw it out. It will also look like, you know, like we're good guys for giving it away. They had cookies coming down from the ceiling in parachutes. You know, they would just float down. People jumping up for fucking cookies. They dragged some guy out of the fucking crowd and put a couch that you could recline in and they put it at the file line. They're like, if you can sit down and you can fucking sink this file shop, we're going to give you this couch. The next thing you know, like you forget about the game.

There's so much shit going on. I'm rooting for this fucking couch potato to win a new fucking couch to slowly die on. You know, shoots the first one. Oh, the next one rims out. Oh, and then he hits it and everybody's like freaking out. He's jumping up and down. His man tits flopping all over the place. And then they just dragged this leather porn couch off guy.

You fucking want it. You want it. All right. And then you're looking up at the scoreboard like, oh, wait a minute. I'm watching the fucking spurs. They're playing the clippers. That's what's happening here. This is a critical part of the game.

There's a time out. Now I'm watching awkward dads dancing. Who's the best awkward dad dancing? Other than that, it was fucking great. I really enjoyed it. And that was franchise number 118 that I've seen. I'm getting like the rain man with this. I got eight left and until the next season, you know, when the L.A.

Chargers in the Vegas night start, but I plan on knocking those guys out early. Early. I might even go to that first charges game just for them having the audacity to fucking move on me. You know, as of right now in this moment, I've seen every team fucking west of the Mississippi from fucking as far south as San Antonio is far north as Edmonton. And these two cunts are going to come along and fuck the whole thing up for me. I will not tolerate that.

I will avoid my family. I will take a trip and I will go see both of these fuck. Why don't take a trip for San Diego? I sound like a crazy person. Go fuck yourselves. Thank you for listening and I'll check in on you on Thursday. Thursday.