Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 4-13-20

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

Bill rambles about clutter, air rage, and vaccines.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast from Monday, April 13th. What's going on? How are you? You did it. I want to congratulate you. Did you ever know that you're my hero? You made it past peak week of COVID-19. The most people were gonna get it and whatever was gonna happen was gonna happen and you got through it and you didn't get it. Huh? How about that? You wore your mask. You kept on your gloves. You took your vitamin C. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't breathe on me. Six feet, motherfucker. Right? Everybody thought you were the asshole. And now look at you. You're on the other side of

it. Huh? Their regular season is over and you've gone into the playoff rounds. Look at that. You had a great fucking combine. You're a blue chip pick now. Asymptomatic motherfucker. Well, how many people could say that? Yeah, really, mathematically speaking, over 99% of the world's population could say that. All right? But still, a lot of people got that shit and you didn't. You didn't. And I'll tell you, if world history and the causes of war that I have learned throughout, we fucking either come in or go out. God damn thing. Bing, bing, bing, bing. Boom, boom, boom, my fucking house. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Anytime anybody fucking

walks in and out. Anyway, if anything is told me what that means. Okay, that you are asymptomatic after peak week. What I've learned through my reading of history, that means only one thing and one thing only. God loves you better. Okay, God, God, don't get me wrong. God loves everybody. Okay, but certain people, he loves more. Okay, and depend. Oh my God, and depending on what book you got, you guys hearing that, bing, bing, bing, bing, every fucking five seconds. I don't understand it. Do not understand it. Bing, bing, bing, bing. Like a criminal is going to stop. Oh, they, they, they fucking bing, bing, bing, bing, bing me. If that's just coming upstairs

to me, then all he's got to do is snuff me out, right? Yeah, that's what I've learned throughout history. They're, they're depending on what book you read. All right, if you read the Quran, God loves Muslims the most. If you read the Bible, he loves the Christians. If you read, what did Jewish people read? The Torah? Or is that a kind of sushi? The fuck is their Bible? They know they have the Bible. They just, they just stopped. They stopped at the first one, right? They stopped at the Old Testament, and then the Gentiles kept going and went on and made fucking God Father three. We should have stopped at the classic. We got greedy. We kept going. We

kept fucking going. Yeah, just know that. I know it's a rough time. I know it's a strange time. I know you're trying to figure out what this new world means. But if you're still asymptomatic, just know that the invisible guy that only talks to you through your thingy thing in the middle of your chest there, he loves you more than he loved other people evidently. I learned that by going to church almost every week. Jesus loves us best, even though he made everybody. Well, Jesus didn't make everybody. Jesus is like the Donald Trump of the God family. You know what I mean? God comes down, he fucking, he, he, he builds the empire, the universe.

All that is said, the fucking the black and the white, the up and the down, the odds and the even numbers, the alpha and the may whatever the fuck that fucking mumbo jumbo shit is. And then he comes in, right? Albeit with a better head of hair than Donald Trump, right? But still, he was definitely doing something wild with his hair. You know, trying to look like the fucking lead singer of the black crows, you know, Jesus Robinson. And then he came along. And what did he do? He starts fucking showing off, walking on water. Hey, look at this little basket of bread. I got enough for everybody. You got a little bread behind you here. Oh,

right? Walking around, no shirt on like JFK Jr. Just doing anything he can to fucking add to his legacy. And what happened? What happened? He ran his yap too much. He drew too much attention to himself. And just like in any respectable respectable mob family, he got himself whacked. That's what happened. Jesus became more trouble than he was worth. Okay, if he kept his fucking shirt on, you know, the little fucking miracle here or there without anybody seeing it, you know, stop calling attention to himself. But that wasn't his thing. You know, he saw what his dad did in six days. You know, six days guy put his feet up

on Sunday after having created the whole fucking universe. Right now you're Jesus. Okay. You know, you already have some sort of weird family dynamic, you know, Joseph giving you the side eye, having to sit there and be all right. That his wife got the God dick, you know, and he somehow has to follow that. It didn't mean anything. No, wait, no, wait, he didn't bang her. He I don't know what he just looked at. He just looked at her. Right. And then she was pregnant. It's so fucking hard to keep track of those goddamn stories because there's not like a fucking grounded point that you can start at. Well,

I guess you can. There was this couple, Jesus and Mary from that band, Jesus and Mary chain. They're the ones that say, I got everything to do with you. Who? Who? I'm alive. Let me see. Jesus and Mary chain. What was their song? What was their song? Don't know a color. You ride that baby. Well, the ones are saying that. All right. What do we got here? Jesus and Mary chain. Oh my God. Oh, the masked meet your a new instructor. Let's fucking master classes. Go fuck yourself. Would you be out master doing whatever the fucking is your good at? Where is it? Come on. Let's hear a little volume here.

Jesus. These guys look a little depressed for me being in a music video. Oh, is this the guy from the cure? Wait a minute. Is this one of these depressing people? Just like, honey. I love when chicks love bands like that with those sad brooding guys, you know, why do they like that? Because they feel less threatened. I don't want to listen to that guy screaming. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I get that. But then in the back of your head, you're thinking when you see that guy with that fucking tumbleweed haircut, you know, looking down at the ground like, Oh, I don't really

want to do this to record labels making me make the video. Are they thinking in their head? This is the kind of rock star I could be with because I think I could control him. You know, he's not getting any puss puss with that fucking look on his face, right? Staring at the ground, drawing fucking half moons with one foot in the dirt. He's fucking hands in his pockets. Hey, reverse Jim Morrison. Fuck, do you think you're doing it? You got the vibe of somebody who worked at Kinko's back in the day. Oh my God. Remember the Kinko cunts? Oh, they were the worst.

Or were we the worst? I'd come in. I had a fuck do I use this thing? Well, you place it down, face down, and you hit start or print. Um, all right. Old freckles, old freckles is down 11 pounds. He's sticking with his diet. And I, I'm, I'm here to tell you that over 50, you can get your abs back. If you're willing to put in the fucking time and just not eat anything that's remotely fucking, I don't know, you get used to it.

You get used to it, but, um, I've decided I'm going to get my abs back and I'm going to be able to play good times, bad times. I have done neither yet, but I've come closer. All right. I did fuck up yesterday because we had a little Easter dinner and there's a little bit of chocolate cake there. Bill is great. Eight little chocolate cake. Um, one of my favorite bits of all time. Um, yeah, so I did a little bad yesterday, but you know, I'm going to be good for the rest of the fuck in a week. And, um, then I just been doing my fucking little abby ab workout every day.

And then at night, when I, everybody's to bed, right, I go out to the, the garage and, uh, I just work on the good times, bad times thing. And my wonderful instructor, Dave Elich, helped me out once again. I said, why don't fucking get it? I can sit here and play this lick at 80, 85 BPMs. And then I try to play it with the song and I crap out at 70 or 75. What's going on? And he just said, let me ask you this, how are you practicing it? Are you just sitting there doing it for, for how long? I said like five, 10 minutes. He goes, yeah, you're burning your foot out. I was just like, oh yeah, I didn't notice that. So now I, I changed my approach. So I do it for a few minutes, leave it alone,

play a couple of songs, come back to it. And it's made a world of difference, uh, of difference, made a world of difference. Isn't I saying that right? Made a world of difference. Yeah. Some reason I thought it was differences. Um, so I just keep doing that. And have I fucking told you guys about this kid that I'm following on, uh, Instagram to have I, where the fuck is my phone? I know my phones. I gotta, I gotta give a shout out to this kid. This fucking kid is amazing. I don't know how old he is, but he looks like he's like fucking 17, 18 years old. He's playing all these old school like note for fucking note. This kid is playing all these old school, uh, like Buddy Rich, Max Roach, Roy Haynes. I haven't seen a

mess with Tony Williams yet. You gotta see this kid, uh, uh, um, Papa Joe Jones stuff. All right. He, it's Grayson, G-R-E-Y-S-O-N underscore, I don't know how to say it, necruteman, N-E-K-R-U-T-M-A-N. Just go on his site and just watch it. Just note for note, Buddy Rich, just fucking killing this shit. I know I think I brought this up before, but, um, absolutely incredible. And it's really cool to see somebody that young that is into that shit, because my dad used to listen to all that stuff. So I grew up on that and, um, a lot of that type of stuff, plus the crazy shit that I was listening to, or at least the shit that he thought was crazy. I mean, I used to call all of our music jungle culture because right around that time, uh, uh, what was

that band? Do you really want to hurt me? Didn't they have jungle in the name? Do you really want to make me cry? Who's fucking, who was that? I literally just had the name, but then I said, uh, wait, culture club, culture club, and then he called it jungle culture, because they had some fucking song that had jungle in it. You guys, what are you listening to, that jungle culture? And it didn't make a difference what anything was. Um, that was just, it was all jungle culture. So, um, anyway, yeah, check him out. And then I follow this other one. Uh, let's see if this is what we've gotten to, considering there's just nothing going on

in the world. Let's just, let's look at some of the shit that I thought that I follow on Instagram. Um, I'm not going to be able to find any of it now. I follow, uh, obviously all things comedy. I follow back in the day cars underscore between all of those. That's really fucking cool because you will see some classic cars that are worth a fortune and somebody's driving it in the snow, because it's like old school pictures, like from back in the day taken. I'm just not like the, all the, the, um, you know, me come in, you know, everything is fucking mint on it. Nate Smith drums. Uh, I am Derek Bennett, bass player. Uh,

then there's one I follow. It's like solo Dallas is a great one. What's the one here? There's one Dr. Steve Gad, of course. I follow one that says, uh, truck shit dad would drive. I think is what it is. That 70s perspective. That's just the dumb shit that I fucking, I don't know. There's something about lions too. Of course, now nobody, none of them have posted. I watch a bunch of shit about lions and for whatever fucking reason, I do watch a bunch of shit lately. Animals killing each other. And I also watch a bunch of shit about helicopters. My dream helicopter, which used to be the fucking, uh, used to be the fucking, uh, Huey 500, the one from fucking Magnum PI. And now I kind of, I like the A star 350.

That's the one. If I could have anyone, I think that that's the one that I would have. Only cause I hear the backseat is uncomfortable. And the, what is it? I think it's an MD 500 now. Anyway, that I mentioned, I cleaned out my garage. It is fucking immaculate. My garage is so fucking clean with the epoxy floor that I take my shoes off, my sneakers, my gym shoes. I take them off when I go fucking in there, everything laid out where it needs to be. And I'm loving it. And guess what happens? The second I get it cleaned out, my wife, you know, cause she's fucking going nuts. She's like, Oh, I was thinking of the closet read done. So I'm like, Oh yeah, but blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she goes, you know, make some more space for

And there's this one closet where we have all our luggage is in there. So she was saying her plans for that closet. And I go, so where would the, where would all those big pieces of luggage go? And she goes, Oh, out in the garage. And I go, I fucking knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew it. I finally got everything off the fucking floor. I hate a fuck, you know, Oprah Winfrey loves bread. I hate clutter the way she loves bread. I fucking hate, I hate clutter and I fucking hate the garage is one of the coolest fucking places in the house. If it's neat and I fucking, there's nothing cooler than when you go over a man's house, a fucking man's man. And you go out there. He's got all these tools fucking where they're supposed

to be. The floor is fucking gleaming. There's an old fucking classic car or truck in the fucking things. He's got a set of drums. It my fucking garage is the shit. The Larry to work out to keep the dad bar under fucking control. Okay, you go over a man's house. He fucking says, hello, he shakes your hand. He gives you some roast beef. You're trying to size him up. I'll tell you, you have no idea who the fuck you're sitting across from until you go out and you look at his goddamn garage. All right. If you go out in his garage and it is a fucking mess, you don't want to get in business with that guy. If you go out there and there's a bunch of lady shit out there fucking strollers and old dresses and shit, this guy has his junk tucked between

his legs and he's not going to be able to take the ball over the goal line. Okay. And at that point, you take his dead fish fucking hand, you shake it, you thank him for the fucking roast beef, whatever the fuck sandwich he made you and you walk out and you don't even look back. Because you don't want to see him standing on the top of his front steps. Right? His bottom lip quivering. As he thinks about the man he could have been knowing why that you're leaving, you don't want to see that. You get in your car, right? You put on a little night ranger and you fucking drive away. Sorry. So anyway, she's trying to tell me that no,

the closet people are going on my closet people. It's a fucking epidemic pandemic, whatever the fuck it is. It's a dynamic. They fucking come on. Oh, I'm saying after death. They're going to come over here and they're going to do some shit. My gay Raj. It's usually called a garage, but this is called a gay Raj because I go into it. What are you a little light in the loafers there? Freckles? So we're just going to put a little bit, some cabinets, all right? In the back, right? So my wife goes, you know what, the first thing we're going to be white and I'm like,

I don't want white. It's going to look boring. You know, just a row of white cabinets. And then also a garage is an inherently dirty place. No matter how much you clean it up, right? The fucking landscapers come over, they got the fucking leaf. That always gets underneath the goddamn thing there, right? Oh, my little buddy, the lizard, I think he got eaten by a snake. I haven't seen him in a while. Made me really sad. But now there's some more lizards like the geckos. They fucking hang out. It was kind of hoping the dude was going to be all right because he was, you know, he had a safe haven in my garage. But you know, when you're a lizard, when you're a gecko,

you're basically, you know, you're an appetizer. You just, you're for the, you know, you're like the slider of the lizard family. So I haven't seen any of my buddies lately. They all had names and now they're gone. So now there's this one little one that my daughter loves but is also scared of. She likes it because it's a baby when it tries to run away from us and it's on the epoxy floor and he can't get a grip. It's doing like a million miles an hour with its legs, but it's only going like half a mile an hour and it kind of freaks her out. But anyway, so I was like, I don't know, she goes, how about black? I'm thinking, all right, that could be cool. And then I was like, I kind of have like a

baby blue wall in my garage. I was thinking about what about a little darker blue, but a matte blue with black handles and she's like, and hinges and she's just like, no, no. And then my head, I'm like, we made a deal when we got into this house. The house was yours. The garage was mine. Why are you making decisions on the color of the cabinets? You know, and she just looked at me and laughed. So evidently I'm getting the matte black. Which is a little hacky, I think at this point. But I think it's going to look good up against the blue, maybe, I don't know. But anyway, and then my little podcast area, I'm finally,

I'm getting a bookshelf that's of quality now, unlike the last one. And I'm getting all my shit and everything's going to be fucking ready to go here. So I'm going to come out of this quarantine. All right. With over 50 abs, which means you still want my shirt on. You don't want to see him. You just want to be like, Oh, you know, for an old guy, he looks all right with all of those clothes on. Key part of that sentence is all of those clothes on. Um, anyway, uh, so I gotta tell you guys this, as much as I am enjoying being home and getting all of this shit done, uh, you know, spending time with my family, losing weight, getting eight hours sleep, having some time off. Uh, I really miss going out there and making you guys laugh.

And I, I'm thankful that I get to do this, but I can't hear you laughing. In fact, uh, someone, I went to high school with sent me a text message and he goes, Hey, man, I was listening to your podcast. You made me laugh, blah, blah, blah, whatever the hell I said. And it actually, the text message really made me feel good. You know, because I fuck, I never thought about it. I mean, I did stand up for so fucking long, 28 goddamn years, never took a break. This, this is the longest I've gone without doing stand up since I started and, um, easily. And, uh, I remember saying to my wife numerous times going, you know, cause I kept saying I was going to retire from the shit when I'm around 70.

She goes, you're never going to retire. You're going to die on stage. I go, yeah, yeah, I go, you know, you don't get it. You don't fucking get it. Right. And I think she, after taking a month off here, I think she's right. Um, it's too much goddamn fun. It's too much fun. And I just keep thinking of dumb shit that I want to say or start talking about because that's how the process works with the bullshit that I do. I go, that's kind of a fucked up thing to think. I'm going to start talking about that tonight on stage and see where it goes. Huh? Do you think any, uh, I wonder what, you know, it's going to be weird coming out of all of this. I want, I'm wondering if the

white chicks lost all their momentum, you know, during this whole woke time that was actually supposed to be about people of color until white women took the whole fucking thing over. And that's all anybody decided to listen to was them. I'm just wondering if they have lost any of their momentum. And, um, I have to tell you from the bottom of my heart, if they have, I think it's really funny out of all the complaining that I heard, all of it made sense. There was all valid points, but the ones that made the least amount of sense, but for some reason where the loudest was all these white broads fucking complaining white broads married to white men living their white lives. I couldn't believe

the degree of difficulty they, I couldn't believe their, their lack of perspective. You know, like, all right, so you got it tough. Well, look at your place in society. If you have it tough, imagine what it would be like to be somebody who didn't look like you. And all they could focus on was white males. That's what their shit was about. As much as they acted like they gave a fuck about other people of color, they didn't. All they gave a fuck about was what white, what they perceived that white males have. So I have a question for you white ladies. Do you ever think that white males have so much in life as a reward for having to deal with living with white ladies? Oh man, you know what? Oh, geez. You know what I watched the other

day? I was watching, I was watching some classic baseball and I was watching game four of the 1977 World Series, the New York Yankees versus the Los Angeles Dodgers in Chavez ravine back in early October, 1977. I remember watching that series. It was one of the first, it was the first World Series that I watched. It was fucking hilarious. It came on like during the day. I'd come home after school. The goddamn game was, oh wait, no, it started at like four or five, three or four in the afternoon. So it was still seven o'clock at night. So we were watching the thing and just watching and I was once again trying to memorize all the teams and they came right back to me. Thurman Munson, the late great Thurman Munson at Ketcher. And then he had, I always forget

if it's Greg or Craig Nettles. I just remember that he caught, he has his check swing pop fly out for that one game playoff in 78, Bucky Dent at shortstop, Willie Randolph at second, Chris Shambles at first, and then their outfield was fucking Lou Pinella, Mickey Rivers, and the one and only Reggie Jackson. And then the fucking Dodgers had Steve Yeager, Yeager Meister, Steve Yeager, who just was like, he was the seventies. He had the seventies glasses. He had the fucking permed out fucking curly Q fucking hairdo. He just was the coolest looking dude, right? And then he had Ron say the penguin at third, I think he was there. He might have got there in 78, but I didn't see him. I watched a couple innings. I don't remember him getting up to bat.

And no, wait, I think he did. I think he flew out Lou Pinella, robbed him of a home run. Davey Lopes at short. No, at second Russell, was it Bill Russell? Like the Celtics? Was it short? Steve Garvey, movie star looking dude. At first base, then it was Dusty Baker out in left field, Reggie Smith, and then like Lee Lacey or something. Tommy LaSorta was the manager of the fucking Dodgers and Billy Martin was the manager for the Yankees. They just, they, they don't make them like that anymore. And interestingly enough, pitching for the Dodgers, not in this game on their staff was Tommy John, which everybody knows his name from Tommy John surgery, because he was the first guy where they took the ligament from your fucking leg and stuck

it in your elbow and it actually worked. He was the first guy. So it's called Tommy John surgery. So here's the deal. He, I know I've brought this up before in the podcast, but you know, whatever, but there's nothing going on in the world. I'm talking about a fucking World Series game from 43 years ago. All right, Tommy John played on the Dodgers in 77 and 78. They went to the World Series and they lost to the New York Yankees. In 1981, Tommy John is on the New York Yankees and they played the Los Angeles Dodgers in the World Series and the Yankees lose to the Dodgers. I don't know if anybody has matched that. Mary and Hosa came close where one year he played for the penguins and lost to the Red Wings and the finals. The next year

he was on the Red Wings and then lost to the penguins. And then the next year he was on the fucking Blackhawks. And all I'm thinking is if they fucking lose this one, this is going to be the first guy in three consecutive years has to be that lost in the Stanley Cup finals on three different fucking teams. But fortunately, the Blackhawks won and he was spared that embarrassing stat. So I was watching that and I'm hoping you know what my favorite my favorite fucking baseball team of all time other than the 2004 Boston Red Sox would have to be the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates. That we are, we are family. They were my favorite baseball team of all time. Willie Stagill, fucking Dave Parker, Ed Ott, Kent Ticovi, John Candelaria,

with a Foley at second base or something like that. I can't remember Omar Moreno. And then they went up against fucking Earl Weaver with Eddie Murray. Eddie, I'm not smiling Murray. Eddie, 500 something legit fucking home runs, no steroids, no coffee beans, go fuck yourself. His scowl sent that ball over the fucking goddamn fence. They had Frank Tanana. Rick Dempsey. Remember all of those fucking guys also I've been cleaning up also all of my shit. And and I found all of my football cards just going back through those things. I've been watching the highlights from like 1970s football and I found this great quarterback for the fucking

Denver Broncos that was somehow between right before Craig Morton, Craig Morton really interesting career where he took over for Don Meredith with the Cowboys. He was the Cowboys starting quarterback for two years before Roger Starback came in, then he got traded to the Giants. And then after the Giants, he went to the Denver Broncos. And with the Broncos, he ended up facing his old team, the Dallas Cowboys and Super Bowl 12 lost like 27 to 10. All right, Charlie, uh, Denver Broncos QB, what was this guy's name? Charlie Johnson, C-H-A-R-L-E-Y Johnson. And this is great. There's this great clip of him talking about his first start as a QB. This is back when they were

really forgiving of starting quarterbacks, just going, you know, they never win and that they, you know, and Charlie Johnson talks about his first game saying like, man, I thought I had the offense down. I thought I could read defenses and all that. And we played the Green Bay Packers and he goes, I did throw two touchdown passes, but unfortunately they were both to Green Bay defensive backs has like a Southern draw, just like the old school, you know, gunslinger. Um, you know, when I was a kid, they had this week in baseball. Bump, bump, dun, dun, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. And they showed all, all the highlights around the league. This is before they had fucking ESPN. So this is the only way you really could watch all these cool highlights.

And I guess they had this week in football, this week in professional football with Pat Someral and that other guy used to fucking drink with. And, um, literally would be hammered like, well, legally drunk before games. And they'd be like laughing. It was like a joke that they were fucking drunk and nobody cared because being drunk was funny back then. Foster Brooks had a whole fucking act about being an alcoholic was just a funny fucking thing. Um, yeah, back then alcoholism was fucking hilarious unless you were the poor woman married to it or the guy married to it. Then it was really sad. Um, but they had this show and so they had like highlights of the 74 season 75. You can watch all the weeks, the old uniforms,

the old stadiums. And I just been watching, they're like 42, 43 minutes long. They're fucking tremendous. Cannot recommend them enough. And, um, what else have I been watching? Fucking hate when I do that. I was trying to check to see how much time I had done to see if I needed to read the advertising. I hit stop. I got fucking edit the goddamn thing together. Well, God knows I have the time. Um, anyway, my mother-in-law called me up. She was like, Bill, you got to watch this show. So I said, all right, put it on. It was called, it's called flipping Boston. They did like two seasons. It's these two guys who basically in the Lynn area, marble head, Lowell, um, they like flip houses.

Let's see how this poem goes. Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin, you never go out the way you went in. And it's actually, there's a second verse, right? Lynn, Lynn, the city, the city of sin, you never come out the way you went in. Why is my stomach growling so much? Is it because I'm not eating? Uh, you asked for water, but they give you gin. The girls say no, yet always give in. If you're not bad, they won't let you in. It's the damnedest city I ever lived in. Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin, you never come out the way you went in. I'm sure it's all fucking yuppies and shit. But, uh, that's a great, you asked for water, but they give you gin. The girls say no, yet they always give in. If you're not bad, they won't let you in. It's the damnedest city I've

ever been in. I mean, I've ever lived in. Come on, man. And I like how the person who live in there is judging the people there. You know, it's like, well, wait a minute, how the fuck did you end up there? You must be a piece of shit too. Stop trying to separate yourself. So anyways, since he's two fucking guys and one of the guys has the craziest accent ever. He has an English accent and a Boston accent combined, which I'm not even going to try to attempt to do. But what I love about him is he's always talking about his temper. I'll tell you right now, I'm at about a seven and you don't want to see me at an eight. I'll tell you right now, I'm about ready to do some demolition on this house of my fucking fists. Every single fucking house, there is a goddamn

problem. But their best one is when they have this neighbor who I think a lot of people have dealt with when you're doing a job, they just start calling the board of whatever to come over and then you get fined and all of this shit. They just fucking jealous that you're improving your fucking house. I have a friend of mine, she was doing some work on our house and I guess it was semi, you know, I guess it wasn't legal. And this fair fucking neighbor knew it and he waited until the day they were done and then reported them and made him tear it down. And I was like, wow, is that grounds for fucking severely vandalizing that guy's house at some point? You would have to do something. I don't know how I would do it, but you would have to do what could you do

where you wouldn't get caught? Well, I don't think enough people have like, I would just be worried about cameras, you'd have to do something really sophomore dog shit in the mailbox, but like a lot of it, fresh to right from the farmer's market dog shit. No, but if you put it in the mailbox, then it's definitely done by a human. Dogs don't have thumbs so they know that there's no reason the dog mistook this for some sort of horizontal toilet. So what you'd have to do is you just have to keep putting this is what I would do. I would pick up dog shit in the neighborhood and I would drop it.

I would drop it in the same location every fucking day. Oh, then eventually he would film you. All right. So what you need to do is you need to get creative. That just has to be fucking dog shit involved in it. You know, I throw it up on his roof. I would just constantly, because he's a piece of shit, a hood of his car. And this is what you do. You just do it forever and you do it like once every fucking 30 days. Okay. The first day, because he doesn't think it's going to happen.

All right. You go over there with your COVID mask on and you go over at night and you take a nice fresh dog shit and you put it under the driver's side door handle or maybe all the door handles of his fucking car. All right. Just to let him know that he started a fucking war that, you know, he's not going to like the results of. Okay. And he's going to know what you. Okay. And then when you see him, you give him a big smile and how you're doing. And that's it. Right. And then you just wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and then you do something else. Same fucking shit. Right. Nice fucking dog shit right on his front fucking mat. Right. Now there's going to be

a temptation to drop your pants and take a fucking human deuce right there. But I mean, there's DNA. You can't do that. 23 and me, they'll fucking figure out it was your shit. And then you're going to make the national news. You don't want that. All right. Although there was that one guy who took a shit on the fucking serving card and you cannot find that story anyway. He was a person of some sort of a level of wealth. Man shits on cart airplane cart. Worst ever air rage passenger jailed for drunken rampage.

Wait a minute. This isn't the guy. He was on his way to Dubai. All right. Worst ever air rage passenger jailed for drunken rampage. Yeah, see this isn't I bet this is I bet this is a fucking lie to cover the rich dude because there was a rich dude who did this in like the fucking 2000s here in America. All right. They're calling Jasper Zing Barrage the worst ever air rage passenger. He was given 11 months in prison for his drunken tantrum on a flight from Dubai to Birmingham, England. The judge who handed down the sentence spared no harsh words for Mr. Barrage on the Emirates flight. The greatest airline I've ever been on. You drank vodka mixed with wine and then proceeded to abuse cabin staff. You demanded more alcohol and swore repeatedly

even though there were four young children behind you who had to listen to your tirade. He told a female member of the cabin crew that if she were on the ground, you would punch her in the face and in particularly grotesque piece of behavior, you dipped your finger in your glass of wine and rub them on your private parts. The air hostess felt abused and disgusted after seeing you touch yourself in a sexually explicit way. You shouted fucking Muslims, send them back to whatever they came from and fuck fucking ISIS. When you landed, you were abusive to police and bit a PC ingram on the arm. People need to know that if you get drunk on an airplane, set other passengers and cause cabin crew to have a difficult job,

then custodial sentences apply. You have many previous convictions and it seems you will not learn your lesson. Okay, but I don't think he deserves because of the worst. Okay, the honor belongs to Gerard B. Finneran in 1999. Finneran, this is it. The 58 year old head of an investment banking firm was seated in the first class cabin of a United Airlines flight from Buenos Aires to New York, taking advantage of the free liquor being served. Well, isn't that the airline's responsibility in that section of the plane? Finneran, ah, Finneran, proceeded to get very, very drunk. When a concerned flight attendant refused to give him another glass of wine, Finneran took charge of the situation and began serving himself drinks from the beverage cart.

When informed that it was against regulations for passengers to get their own drinks and infuriated Finneran told the flight attendant that he was going to bust his ass. When the threat failed to achieve Finneran's desired results, he resorted to plan B, going berserk, terrifying passengers, knocking over crew members and then grabbing drinks and pouring them over his body. He topped off the show with an educational demonstration of primate dominance by clamoring onto the beverage cart that had been placed off limits to him and evacuating his bowels on it. By the way, that is the coolest thing way ever to say you shit on something, evacuating his bowels. It almost sounds like some post 9-11 thing, right? Using the first class linen napkins and his fingers to

wipe his hind quarters. According to the criminal complaint filed against him, this captain of industry then proceeded to clean his fingers by walking up and down the aisles tracking feces throughout the aircraft. There wasn't a blunt object somebody could have hit him with in the middle of that. Can you imagine the screaming? I bet they were screaming louder than if the fucking engine shut off. In court, Finneran pleaded guilty as charged. I'm going to take full responsibility for evacuating me bowels and rubbing me shit-finger digits down the fucking aisles. Shake fingers. Thank you, Nia. Shake fingers down the aisles. He's American. This is American Irish. Maybe this is why they made him leave Ireland. Wow. Wow. Well, we got to look up now whatever

happened to this guy. What a fucking loot. This is like, you know why I blame for this the other passengers? He just kept taking it further and further. And at some point, the second a man has his pants down, I don't care what sort of UFC shit he knows, you can beat that guy up. All right, you just step on his balls like a fucking, you know, you know, when a birthday party's over, there's that balloon that just lay in there. The kids aren't looking, you just step on it, it's over. That's what they should have done to his fucking ball back. Today, well, 58, he must be, this guy must be dead. He's got to be dead. 58 in 1995. What would that be? 20 years later, 78 in 583. He could still be around.

Passenger accused of defecating pleads guilty. That was 1996. Banker admits guilt on plane. Oh my God. I mean, you need a new plane. All right, whatever happened to whatever happened to Gerard Finneran. Hey, Nia, what are you doing? You are. You don't want to come over here? So you don't want to come over here? Oh, all right. All right, I got to read some advertising here. Hey, Nia, what was that pasta man thing we were documentary watching last night with that fucking guy made that unbelievable pasta? What is it? Funky, F-U-N-K-E. Funky, F-U-N-K-E on Hulu. Did they still have a restaurant out here? Oh my God. Okay, cool. I'll be right there.

No, she can say hi. So the name of the documentary is Funky. F-U-N-K-E on Hulu. This guy making pasta is incredible. Hey, whoops. Huh? My baby tooth grew in. Your baby tooth grew in? Yeah. Did you put your other tooth under the pillow so you get your secret wish? Yeah. What's your secret wish? I always read her this book. Is that you little dance? I read her this book one morning in May. My tooth fell off. That's right. So she plays, she pretends to dig clams like little Sal. Write it in a book like we're Jay in the boat. That's right. And the other day I was reading

Blueberries for Sal and you know the whole book by heart now. Yeah, and we read the house one. The house one? Yeah. What one's that? It was one where the blueberry with her money like Sal made the blueberry and a can for the winter. And they're canning them for what? The long cold winter and they're canning them for the house. Yeah, can them for the house. That's right. All right. Can you say happy Easter everybody? Happy Easter everybody. All right, buddy. Let me do the rest of this. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah, so I was reading Blueberry. Blueberries for Sal, a Robert McCloskey book. And one morning in

Maine make way for ducklings. A time for something or other. I've gotten them all at this point. I got to get that lentil one. And now she wants to go to Bucks Harbor at some point, which is way up in Maine. And there's actually Mr. Condon's where he kept store actually still exist or no, the auto body place where he fixes the guy's outboard motor. If you've read the books, you know what I'm talking about. If not, you like what the fuck's this guy talking about? All right. All right. Simply safe everybody. You know, with all the uncertainty in the world, feeling safe at home has never been more important. It's why I want to talk to you about simply safe home security. They're longtime friends of show's name, the Monday morning podcast.

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So I've been getting crazy back into cooking, even though I'm just cooking kind of like not fun, healthy shit. I have been cooking for my ladies, my lovely ladies here at the house. And so I've decided that I'm going to learn how to make my own bread and whatnot. I just, you know, not even because of this fucking bullshit that's going on. It's just something that looks like a lot of fun. It takes me back to being a little boy and playing in the fucking mud. It's what I like about baked baking. There's something just fucking sloppy about it. Yeast. Hey, Billy sourdough tits. I'm in fucking great shape. I don't know why I get all these, these tits this and tits that. All

right. I've, you know, I've had problems with the booze that I put on the way, but I'm, I'm fucking, I'm tipping the scales here at a buck 69, 170. All right. 32 fucking years out of high 33, 34. If I didn't stay back, you know, uh, making yeast is easy. I can do what you do. Easy. Just two ingredients. No need to pay high prices for it to, uh, for some lunatic who's hoarding it. Here's the recipe ingredients. One and one quarter, uh, see, I'm assuming that's a cup of unbleached all-purpose flour or milled wheat slash wheat berries, one cup of clean warm water, sterile jar with cheesecloth or lid instructions, mix the flour and warm water and keep it room temperature. After several days, the mixture will start to bubble and we'll begin to rise.

Whenever I see that word, I remember that Louis C. Kate bit where he was arrested and they made him strip down naked and he had his hands out to the sides and the cop goes, all right, I need you to lift my testicles. And he was standing there. It goes, well, can I use my hands or do you just want me to be like rice testicles? Some jokes just stay with you. That one always stayed with me. Uh, keep you in the refrigerator when not in use use as you would any sourdough starter. Um, that's all there is to it. And then I just do the sourdough thing. Yeah, isn't that called the mother? All right, vaccine. Yo, Bill, back in high school, four years ago, you turned me on to a healthy way of thinking about the news and the things they

intentionally get us mad about. Oh, good. Glad you bought into my way of looking at the world. I hope I'm right. I was wondering if you were skeptical about the idea of getting a COVID vaccine or possibly just where weary of being part of the first wave. A very comprehensive article about the company behind the vaccine we be getting was put out this week. Here's the gist of it since Billy no news won't read it. Yeah, I also don't look at anything until I do the podcast. So let's see. Bio port is about to go bankrupt. I think was about to go bankrupt in 2001 because they couldn't account for millions. The government gave them for research and development. Uh, they're about to go bankrupt, but 9 11 happens and their anti anthrax vaccine is needed. So instead of being

happy, they still had a business. Now, so instead of being happy, they still had a business. They doubled down and lobbied for enormous amounts of stockpiled vaccines to be sold to the government. It was later proven that they had for knowledge of the anthrax attacks. They rebrand as emergent and cornered the market on the anti drug of treating opioid overdoses and quickly made it too expensive for mass distribution while suing competitors making anything as close as effective. A man on the board of this company was in charge of bio defense under Bush and pushed to vaccinate troops with bio tracks, a drug not approved by the FDA huge shocker. It wasn't safe, killed 20 active servicemen and over 4000 became ill. So when it comes to COVID,

I'm sure they're on the case. All right, I'll send you guys this link and you guys can make up your own mind. But you know, we've heard one cell, we've heard the prosecution's case. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know guys. I'm just I'm fucking I'm living I live a little life. All right, that I mean, that sounds like the plot line of the next Marvel fucking eight movie octrilogy, however you say eight part series. Is that a mini series? I don't fucking know. All right, the name. Bill comma, I thought the whole story was ridiculous. I work in radiation and my wife works in the ER. This has to be a voice text who starts a fucking email. I thought the whole story was ridiculous. It's like I just walked in on a conversation.

I work in radiation with my wife and my wife works in the ER. Since January, all medical professions called it that. What the name I'm Chinese born in China. My wife is Korean born in Korea. Calling it that doesn't make it racist. Just because someone you don't like calls it that everyone called the Wuhan virus and the China virus interchangeably interchangeably for months. No one called it to Corona because there are lots of Corona viruses. So why would you call it just that all the energy and time wasted on every news outlet and Twitter people with nothing to do all day could have gone towards deploying better information. Well, you're also making the assumption that everybody who jumped on Twitter and got up

in arms on that was actually working on some sort of vaccine or making people safe. It's just mouth breathers talking and I don't necessarily think that what he was like at face value, it's not racist, but his background where he sees both sides of a story involving neo Nazis and a dead protester of neo Nazis. He's like, well, there's two sides to each story. That type of shit among other things is why yet you're not going to convince me that the guy is not a full on fucking just overtly fucking racist dude because I don't have a problem with conservative politics. I have a problem with sanity and somebody being fit for the job and I felt that when he called it the China virus,

it wasn't like necessarily my first thought was that's racist is that I looked at it like this guy is shitting himself and he's the quarterback of the team and he's coming back to the huddle pointing fingers and yelling at the rafts and doing all of this shit. And what we need is Joe Montana right now to come to the huddle and be like, Hey, isn't that John candy in the fucking crowd? And everybody's like, wow, look how fucking relaxed he is. We're going to be fine rather than shitting yourself. So I know other people said that it was fucking racist, but like, you're not going to convince me otherwise that the guy isn't racist. I think how you are possibly in the way you view saying this.

I don't think in your heart the way you're writing this that you are, you know what I mean? So I would say that but let's let's continue on here. Anyway, I canceled a trip to visit family in February because Trump talked about travel ban in January, and I didn't want to get stuck there. My white friends tried to play it to me like it sucks that the racist is keeping you from your family. Now I believe that too, because I also believe that people fucking hate Trump to a point that they're not even like rational. Um, but I don't blame them for that. I think that if you watch CNN and you watch Fox news every day, um, you have an extreme hatred for half of your fellow countrymen, which is just an absolutely

reprehensible slash treasonous thing that the 24 hour news networks, both on the left and the right have done to each other. We should be, I should be able like I lean left. I should be able to sit down with somebody on the right and listen to their points of view and we should be able to fucking talk and hang and be Americans. And also back in the day, you didn't bring up religion or politics because you didn't want to fucking argue with people. And I have this weird hybrid thing where I was raised conservative, sort of became liberal and then kind of veered back a little bit conservative, but like I kind of stay in the, uh, the meat of it. You know what I mean? Like my, my conservative stuff, I think has to do with like raising kids and, and I think I'm really

conservative when it comes to that shit. I'm conservative about what you expose kids to. Um, as far as what they watch on TV and that type of stuff. And as I think a lot of liberals are, they just don't realize those are conservative fucking viewpoints where I've really fucking draw the line politically is, uh, all like, you know, the extreme religious right, rapture, Jesus, lunatics, and then the extreme left where, you know, toys shouldn't have genders and you shouldn't be allowed to fucking blah, blah, blah, blah. And you know, why are we giving little boys football? I don't know. Cause little boys like football, you fucking idiots. You know, like I don't, you know, or if they don't, you don't force them to

play football, but I'm just saying there's no reason to fucking, you know, to prove whatever point you're trying to prove that if I have a son, he has to run around with a pink football, you know, to make everybody feel like, Hey man, like, yeah, man, like I don't fucking get any of that. It's just stupid of me. It's fucking stupid because I have to be honest with you. The shit that I've heard the extreme left say, um, some of the craziness of it and the way that they've gone about aggressively forcing their agenda down people's fucking throats, um, is, is right there with what the fuck I see on the, on the extreme right. All right. But like, I don't think there's anything wrong with owning a fucking gun,

but I think there's a tremendous responsibility. If you get a gun, you don't just buy the fucking gun and go, there you go. Somebody comes through that door and fucking taking this thing out. Like you should know how to fucking take that thing apart, put it back together, blindfolded, and you should know how to fucking use it. You know, and you should be constantly going to a gun range and practicing and respecting that you have that fucking thing in the house. And then of course, have it in a gun safe and all of that, which I don't get how that fucking works. Where somebody comes in your house and they're running up the stairs and you're like 36 to the

right, 22 to the left for, I guess I am nervous, you know, um, I think this is what you do. Your wife goes to the fucking safe and then you have a giant spear. Like a harpoon. So when that guy comes through the door in the fucking dark, you lunge and you stick them and then hopefully she gets the gun out, right? But then what I always worry about is tonight is my ears is shot from playing drums and going to concerts and not having earplugs back in the day. And I've also shot a five shot 38 without earplugs and like, um, I don't know. So anyway, so I open you guys listen to this shit. I know you guys know that I'm a fucking lefty, but like I don't have problems with people on the right as long as you're sane. And I don't have problems with people on the left

as long as you're sane, but I do have a problem with people who, um, once you take your belief and then I have to buy into it. And if I don't, you're going to try and cancel me. Like what the left is doing. Like I don't get how that's any different than like that McCarthyism shit back in the day, trying to take people's careers away. And then they did this thing, it went beyond the person they were upset with. If you said, well, hey man, that guy was always cool to me. Then they tried to get rid of you too, even though you didn't do anything other than express support for the person that they were upset with. That's when it's just like, you guys have kind of become what the fuck you're allegedly against. So anyway, let's, let's continue here. My white

friends tried to play it to me like it sucks that the racist is keeping you from your family. I don't doubt that. All right. I don't care. I don't doubt that that happened. All right. I don't care about politics. I care about facts and numbers and records. I agree with you. When the World Health Organization reported on it in January, they said the virus might not be transmitted human to human. They knew it was, but they downplayed it by saying might. My colleagues and I knew this was bullshit. My wife treated someone in January and knew it was severe. I think everyone will with common sense thought this as well, thought this as well, but I can only speak from people in my community. Now it's April. And when I mentioned the travel ban to my white hero

friends, they have nothing to say. When I talked to my Asian friends here in America, we laugh about how much China lies about everything and how so many people are dead. We probably don't know about. See, this is really interesting here. This shit here. Notice how I said we laugh about how much China lies. Not that people are dying. Yeah, I got that. He said, Bill Maher made a video about the name this week. I don't think he's very funny and I don't watch his show, but I can agree with what he says on this. And just like the stupid conversation about the stupid name, I added to the waste of time. Right. And just like the stupid conversation about the stupid name, I added to the waste of time. Health to your family. P.S. I saw Iron Maiden in South

Korea in 2011. How cool is that? I took my then 62 year old Korean father-in-law. He still refers to it as the loud opera. Oh man, that's fucking, that's a great fucking name for an Iron Maiden album. Maybe not. I don't know. That's a great description though. You know what, that was really eye opening. A lot of that I was guilty of some of the shit that you said there. Um, I think in defense of everybody, we haven't had an outbreak like this in a long, long fucking time, a global thing like this. So I just don't think that we were prepared for it. I think we will be in the future. This is a great dry run. Um, and that's that. But I mean, the new fly in the ointment is fucking air travel.

Where in a 24 hour period, you can go from New York city to Sydney, Australia, um, and bring whatever the fuck you have all the way over there. And then you sneeze on somebody and then gets on a flight to Singapore. And there it goes. Um, so that's good. So what that person just wrote is the kind of shit that I love to read because it cuts through all of that hysteria that all my CNN Fox news friends, because I have both of those, you know, I have friends who on the right can watch Donald Trump talk about banging models, make references to that in the middle of a pandemic and see nothing wrong with it. And it's just like, dude, he's the fucking president of the United States. He shouldn't

be talking about the pussy he's gotten. Okay. I know JFK banged Marilyn Monroe. We know the pussy they're getting. You don't talk about it. Can you guys do me a favor? If you ever bang a fucking model, you know what's cool? The only thing cooler than banging a model is not telling anybody you did it and then sitting there where everybody's telling their fucking pussy stories. Right? I did this and I did that. And they said, Hey, bitch, get over here and fucking and you just sit there nodding your head smiling. Hey, man, I can't follow that. That right there. That's the real fucking deal. All right, puppy dog, everybody. Hey, Bill, I suggest you get a puppy. It's the perfect time for you to get one. It'll put a smile on your grumpy face.

And that joy will spill over to your lovely daughter who's tired of telling you to fucking relax. Well, gee, you made a lot of assumptions there. What do you mean? She's tired. She's not tired of telling me to relax. Stop fucking super imposing your relationship with your dad on me. Me and my daughter get along fucking great. It's safe to assume you live behind a fence. Uh, so you shant worry about the little one getting out. I hope you think this idea is a good one because if you do, my wife will give her blessings for me to get one. Don't worry. I'm not a cuck and I'm getting one anyways. I don't, I think you're, I don't, I hate that expression. Cuck. That's one of those stupid internet things that one person used it and now everybody

uses it. It's kind of like now everybody's saying tone deaf is the latest way to say somebody isn't woke. They're a little tone dish. Shut the fuck up. You're fucking all white world. Yeah, buddy. I'll get a fucking dog when my life settles down. Okay. I'm planning on getting one right now and uh, my dream dog has always been a bulldog. My wife is against it. We've negotiated to French bulldog and the next round of negotiations was one bulldog, one French bulldog. That's it. All right. And uh, and that's it. That's, and it's going to fucking happen. Okay. It's not going to happen right fucking now when I have a three year old. Okay. Who has more goddamn energy. It's like, it just keeps going up at the end of the day. Like when we're putting her to bed,

she's literally running around like a crazy person. Yeah. I'm not going to add a puppy to that situation. Uh, when my life settles down a little bit, I will. And then also, you know, you also got a time when you're going to get a dog. Okay. Cause you know how long they're going to live and you got the kid has to be of a certain age. I don't want that to get a fucking bulldog when my kids three and the thing dies when she's nine or 10. However, those things live like eight years, like 11. I don't need that. I don't need that. Um, all right. Single mom advice on teen, but I appreciate your advice. Single mom advice on teenage boys. Hey Bill, my boys and I are super huge fans. I've been a fan for many years.

We enjoy watching your specials and listening to your podcast. I'm a single mom with the son who's 14 and another that is 11. I'm going through this teen segment of parenting all on my own. And I am curious on what advice you may have for my boys. What are some things you are, you think are essential for a boy to grasp at this age, any wisdom you could share with them would be awesome. Uh, we would really appreciate your thoughts. Thank you for all the love. Oh, sorry. Thank you for all the laughter you bring. And please tell Nia I love her and hearing your daughter always makes me smile. All right. Well, you know, something, this is something I was talking to somebody the other day about what they should teach people in school. I'm at that

age. Oh, by the way, everybody. Hey, that's me from somebody else. Um, all right. I, uh, this is the advice I would give. All right. If you have a crush, they have a crush on a girl, right? Just walk up and say hello. Tell her that you like her and see if she'll go out with you. Simple as that. Get over that fear. All right. Cause here's the thing. It's always embarrassing the first time you do it, if they're not doing it yet, it's always fucking embarrassing. But once you do it, it's like doing that first open mic. The first time you bomb, you survive it. And then somewhere along the line, you learn to find the humor and bombing. And if you can do that,

you'll never be afraid to ask for what you want in life. So right now the chicks you want to bomb with are the ones when you're 11 and 14 cause that's just puppy love. But someday when the girl of your dream comes along, you want to have the confidence to walk up and say hello so you get what you want in life. The most important thing ever finding the person you're supposed to spend your life with so you can be happy. All right. Secondly, you got to teach somebody how to break up with somebody. Very simple, but they never teach you. You just tell the person just say, hey, listen, we need to talk. They sit down. What's up? Just say, listen, I think you're a great person, but you know, I'm just, I'm not happy. You know, and as much as I like you and everything,

I just, there isn't that thing that's making me feel like this is a lifetime love. I have love for you, but I don't have life full lifetime love for you, something like that. And there's nothing anybody can say to that shit. And then just don't get fucking wrote back into it. And then they're going to cry and they're going to go through all of that shit. And there's no reason to be mean or anything like that. And just sit there, hug them, be nice about it. And you can just say, listen, I don't want to waste any more of your time or my time. We should both go out and find the people that we're supposed to be with. And as much as this hurts you right now, someday you're going to find that guy that wants to love you for the rest of your life. Okay. And you'll be very thankful

that I set you free to go find him something like that. That last line might have been a little corny, but that's, you got to teach him that. All right, next, teach him about money. All right, they're going to be getting to the point soon where they're going to be going off to college, believe it or not, in the next five years for that kid who's 14. And then they're going to give him a fucking credit card. And they're going to get in all of this and the fucking bankers, what they want to do is get you fucking in so much goddamn debt before you even realize what the fuck happens. You're running on the wheel for the rest of your life and maybe in your 60s, you come out of it. All right. I would show them the good fellas seen after they knock off that

fucking the Lithuanza heist when Robert De Niro, don't buy anything, don't buy anything. If I can give you any fucking advice now that I'm cleaning out my garage and looking at all the fucking shit I saved over the years, don't buy anything. Don't collect anything. Don't get involved in that shit. Live a very sparse, sparsely furnished fucking life. Do not give into fucking consumerism. All right. Live well within your means. Okay. Always have enough money that if you're not liking a job, you have the time to be like, fuck you. I'm out of here and find something else. If you suddenly get laid off, if there's a fucking pandemic, you can survive. All right. Do not get involved in the living week to fucking week.

Less is more, less is more, less is more. And then as far as all the kids that you go to school with, whatever they think about you, none of it matters because in the next five years, you're going to graduate and you're never going to see 99% of them ever again. Even with fucking social media, you're never going to see him again. So you have to listen to your voice and what the fuck you want to do in life and you follow that. Okay. And know that when you set off to make a dream happen, that when you tell people that that's what you're doing, the bigger the dream, the more negative feedback you're going to get. And you have to understand as Tom Papa told me that whenever he made a big decision in life, he realized that, you know, so much of people's

reactions to what he was doing had nothing to do with him. It was them working out their own bullshit. All right. And then just be, be a good shit. Don't fuck people over. Try not to hurt anybody. You're a human being. You'll make mistakes. You will just try to own up to them and try not to repeat your mistakes. And other than that, you know, be forgiving yourself and try not to be a cunt. There you go. All right. Notice none of that involved your grades or having two years of a fucking language and all that other horseshit they try to get you to fucking buy into. All right. Overrated underrated, underrated buying ladies potted plants. All right, everyone buys chicks flowers. But what the hell are they going to do with the bouquet of flowers that were just recently

murdered by her a plant in a pot, especially a cactus. Potted cacti will never die. They have spikes all over them. And it's way better than getting a girl a rose. But for what a reason, they, they respond more to the rose than the potted cacti. But I guess you give them the body potted cacti. This represents my love, which like the potted cacti will never die. I like where you're going with this. This is also a nice test to see how fucking much your wife or girlfriend watches the Kardashians because if you don't get him a rose and you get him a potted cacti and that's maybe a good lock the door test. I kind of like that. I gotta be honest with you. All right, that's it, everybody. That's all I got for you.

That's it. Yeah, I'm hanging in there. I'll fucking hang in and in and in there. I'll check in on you on Thursday. Let me know what music you guys are listening to. God knows I got the fucking time over. All right, I'll talk to you guys later. All right, hang in there, stay positive. And it's okay if somebody has a different opinion than you do. We're all fucking fellow Americans. And in a bigger picture, we're all human beings. All right, so no matter what the fucking leader tells you, red tie or blue tie, if it doesn't make sense, if it seems divisive, don't listen to that shit. All right, I like the red states. I like the blue states. I like Canada. I like Mexico. I like people. All right. And all it takes is a couple of cunts to ruin the whole fucking thing.

And once you see that, everybody can hang out and have a good time. All right, go fuck yourselves. I'll see you soon.