Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 4-20-15

Episode Date: April 21, 2015

Bill rambles about threesomes, dictators and getting left behind.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's the Monday Morning Podcast from Monday, April 20th. April 20th. How you doing? What's going on? Talking to you from the road? Don't you know? Sorry. I'm in the middle of nowhere, man. I'm in fucking Chattanooga, Tennessee. I haven't seen shit. I haven't seen shit here yet. I ain't seen shit here yet. I'm in the middle of the Southern tour here, traveling on the bus, fueling up next to truckers. It's a whole other world, man. Whole other world, those truck drivers, you know? But you know what? I only saw one real fat one. I saw one fatty. You know, one big guy was just like, dude, you need to, you need to start jogging some laps around your truck, man. That's got

to be the hardest fucking job to stay in shape. Holy shit. So one guy is fucking sitting there. He's got a dog in there. You know, how the fuck do you make any time when you got a dog? I mean, you got to fucking pull over every couple hours, right? I guess you got to get gas anyways. Think you got to take a shit, you know? It's like you can just fucking pull it over. It's a goddamn 18 wheeler. Oh, an 18 wheeler. Anyways, this is the Monday Morning Podcast. This is going to be a fucked up one because I'm in a silly ass mood and I have no idea what's going on in the world right now. I know that there was some refugees that floated over on some little boat, not a little boat like 700 people. Oh, God, I fucking hate

those stories. They always skip the part two where they go. There's some bodies being seen. They never talk about all that quint from Josh shit, the amount that we're treading water and got eaten by sharks. Dude, you know, bad a country has to be for you to fucking make your chances doing that. This you wouldn't get me out on a fucking lake. I don't I do not fuck with I go into pools. I'll be in a pool all goddamn day. Fuck that. I wouldn't go in a pond. Fuck that. It's goddamn people trying to cross the Mediterranean Sea. I don't even know where they were coming from. Jesus Christ. Now, how do you as a dictator at that point? How do you not know at that point like, Hey, maybe I maybe I should ease up a little

bit on the people here. They're fucking they're trying to cross the Mediterranean on a goddamn hoopty. People fucking boogie boards and shit. At that point, you got to know, you know, even if you didn't give a shit about him, you'd have to be thinking like, I think there's going to be an attempt made on my life pretty soon. You know, considering 700 people just died, you figure they got to have a bunch of people that loved him, right? Say three people loved all those people. There's 2100 people that want to fucking kill me extra today as a dictator. You know, probably help if actually look to see which one it was. The only dictator I knew in that got beaten to death by shit from auto zone. Remember that guy, Gaddafi?

He got beaten to death with like fucking car batteries and antennas. Walk around with half his fucking uniform on. That was a travesty. You know what I mean? That was like worse than seeing Emmett Smith playing for the Arizona Cardinals. You know that, you know, like when you just see like me and Verzi talk about that Patrick new Patrick Ewing when he played for like Orlando, just seeing him in that uniform, seeing Gaddafi walking around with half his Boy Scout uniform on begging for his life. Not like I was a fan, but you know, it's like, you got to, you know, you got to know when to get out of show business and that that includes being a dictator. You got to know you got to be able to feel it.

You got to be sitting there going, all right, people are leaving this country in shit boats just to get away from me. How much longer are they going to put up with me? How much longer can I, can I keep the facade going that I can beat everybody's ass one on one here in this country? You know what I mean? I don't know, man. Hang on a second. Let me find, let me at least have the decency for the victims to know where that went, where it went. You know, that's terrible. That's terrible that that happened to them. But I got to tell you, it's good for the baby seals. You know what I mean? Cause that's 700 less people eating fish now and they actually fed fish. What they did was tremendous. You

know, have you guys seen that story? Like there's like baby seals washing up on the ocean. I'm on the ocean washing up on the beach just cause they're starving to death cause the oceans are so fished out. This is probably a bad thing to bring up, you know, when you're sitting there reading this thing. All right, London rescuers grab scrambled. Why won't this fucking thing? Let me select it. There we go. All right, where did this happen? It's being reported from London, Mediterranean, crossing Europe to Europe from Africa. Okay. All right. More than 17 vessels were searching for the survivors. Oh my God. 70 miles off the coast to Libya. Now Libyan, isn't that where Gaddafi used to fucking cut

all his hits and he used to record out there? Oh, the, you know, the fucking teen idol sensation out there. I got to look this up here, Libya, Libya, dictator, dictator, dictator. Who do you got? Who do you got on more Sadat? What do you want? Momar Gaddafi. How the fuck do you take shit from a guy named Momar? You have to do it. Momar said now fuck him. He never looked like he was a badass. Did he? He just always looked like he just that was just bad casting. I'm going to vote that guy worst, like most unintimidating, like fucking dictator ever. He just looked at his face. I don't know what he looks. He just looks like, uh, you know, he looked like to me was, uh, what's his face? Uh, oh Christ, what's

his name? Bobby, uh, fuck, I'm the worst. I got to get off the road. The fuck is his name? Oh Jesus, it's the perfect fucking analogy to it's going to tour. I'll remember it. I'll remember it by the end of this. Um, anyways, I'm just saying the guy's face. He looks, you know what it is? He looks like this guy that I know that I can't remember his fucking name. This is going off the rails over here. Um, all right. Anyway, so we're on the, we're on the Southern tour here. We did, uh, we did Savannah the first night and, uh, just a great crowd, beautiful city. And, um, you know, the usual shit we go up, meaning in a fucking lawhead, we flew out on the 17th because we're coming from the West Coast and

we show up, you know, we don't have a V. We don't have a vehicle. We're staying out by the airport. So we're nowhere near downtown Savannah. I didn't see anything in Savannah. I didn't see old town. I didn't see shit. I always wanted to go there. I never even got to it because we were staying away out by the airport and the bus hadn't shown up yet. Right? So we say to the lady downstairs, right? First of all, they fucking check in. She takes my driver's license and as always, just starts typing shit in. I go, what are you doing? She goes, I'm typing in your home address and it's just like, for what? Well, just in case you leave something. Well, if I leave something of value, I'll call you guys. I'll notice and then I'll call you guys. And then you guys, of course,

will say you couldn't find it because it was a, it was a value. The housekeeper that you're not paying shit is going to keep it. There's no reason for you to fucking take my home address. You're just going to sell it to somebody else to make a little bit of money. So today I went to go check in the hotel and she takes my fucking driver's license. She goes, type in. I said, what are you doing? She goes, I'm typing in your home address and I go, I don't want you to do that. She goes, you don't want me to do that? I said, yes, I don't want you to do that. She goes, okay, how about just a zip code? And I said, no. And she said, okay, so that's what I learned today. It's fucking optional. Fucking assholes. Just fucking take your ID, just telling

these people to just start fucking typing your goddamn address in there. What the fuck are you doing? I'm writing a room. Here's my credit card. Here's my ID saying that's my credit card. Now fuck off and give me a room. You got to know where I live. Huh? You fucking weirdos. I'm telling you people, don't do that. Don't do that because they upload it onto their shit and then it's just out there. The next thing you know, I don't know what, if you're lucky, you're just getting spammed by a red roof in getting shit sent to you directly. If you're really unlucky, I don't know what happens. Somehow they fucking steal your identity. Somebody shows up at your fucking either way, it's rude. And it's completely fucking unnecessary. And I'll tell you right now, I'll tell you right

now, this this this freckled face cunt is is against it 100%. 100%. So anyways, so we say to the lady downstairs at the at the hotel, we're like, so, you know, we walk in, right? I see lawhead, lawhead sees me, we obviously know we're going to start drinking immediately. And I ask, you know, we walk in his hotel bar still open. She's like, now, now it isn't just closed. I'm sorry. You want me to go make you some? You're down south. We're really flat. And I was like, no, that's all right, you don't have to make it some is there a bar nearby? And she goes, yeah, there's one on her hair straight. And I'm like, all right. Can you walk there from there? She's like, Oh, no, no, yeah, y'all y'all can't walk there from Hey, you can't walk. Oh,

that's too far. I can't why you gonna get attacked by a wild cat or something. And I was just like, all right, let me look this fucking thing up. And I looked it up. It was like, it was like a fucking barely a mile away. You know, like we can't fucking walk. So we fucking walk over there. We literally walk half the half a mile of the walk was getting out of the goddamn fucking hotel area. And then we just look down the streets, we see lights, we see civilization. You can't walk down. I mean, you could do it. But I mean, I don't know what would happen to you. So we go all the way down. She didn't even talk like that. I just like the southern accent and fucking annoying people from where I'm touring. So we fucking had all the way down there. We

end up walking to this bar is this little band in there, guy on guitar and a guy playing drums, they're both killing it, singing all this shit from the 90s fucking tremendous. We're fucking drinking, right? The only thing that sucked was they were given the shots of Jameson and glasses that they had just taken out of the dishwasher. So the glass was was between warm and kind of hot was gross. It was making me sick to my stomach, but I kept drinking. And I don't know what happened. We just sat there laughing our asses off. We were watching some sort of some some game. I don't even know what the fuck we were watching. The next thing you know, I really looked up and we were the only two people left in the place. And we were too drunk to

fucking walk back. We didn't want to. So this the dude at the bar, this gay dude who was wearing a kilt for whatever fucking reason, I think because it was an Irish bar, he gave us a ride home. So that's how it started. He was a great guy. He came walking over and he just took our fucking beers, put them in paper cups, and he just let us drink it that last little mile on the way home. And then I walked in to the hotel and I said to the lady, you know, hey, can you still order room service? Is there any way we can order some service up to the room? Some some service room, room service stuff? She's like, oh, no, no, can't you close this kitchen's already closed. I'm sorry y'all you want me want me to go outside and go kill a feather for y'all cook it up, I'll bread it,

I'll deep fry it, make you some dumplings. We're like, no, no, that's cool. That's cool. And I went over and I bought a bag of fucking potato chips. I went upstairs and laid in bed drunk in a bag of chips and fell asleep. That's how the tour started. Remember I told you guys I was gonna try to not put on any weight? That's how it started. That's what set the fucking tone, right? Then the next day the goddamn bus pulls up. Right. The bus pulls up and we see that thing and it's just I don't know, we've been actually been doing pretty good though. As far as you know, I went out and I got I got some cereal. I got cornchecks. Right. I got some bananas. That's my breakfast. And then I got some turkey did all of this in Walmart. So God knows what level of quality this shit actually is. Oh my

God, dude, you go into a Walmart. Holy shit. You cannot believe the loss of hope in those fucking people's eyes. This fucking lady, this fucking lady, when I went up to the deli. I mean, I was just like, Hey, how you doing? I'm fucking turning on the charm. Hey, what's going on? How are you? And she just fucking looking at me. She's like, what do you want? Just like, can I get a pound of that smoked turkey, please? She's like, is that it? I was like, you know, come in your real high. Hey, how you doing? And somebody just fucking hit you with your attitude and you immediately got to adjust all the way down to them. You know, it's like the way I lost out on the negotiations last week on the rug, you know. And

it's why I go from, Hey, how's it going, deli? Yeah, I'll have some, I'll have some turkey. She's like, that it, that it. That's what she said. That it. And I was like, I can't get like, you know, 15 slices of cheese, you know, white cheddar, white American, whatever you got. She's like, yep. She fucking goes over and just cuts it up. And like, I can't even tell you the way she like handed it to me. Well, just sort of looking off into the distance down the aisles, you know, and, uh, it's just, you know, so now, you know, I'm, I'm shaking it off, right? I'm getting some fucking condiments for the sandwich. I got pickles. I got my mustard and I get, I get down to the booze. I realized I don't have any hard stuff. So I throw in a six of fucking

blue moon, whatever. That's the best they got here. And these fucking assholes have the nerve on a Sunday to not let me buy a six pack of beer. The lady took it away from me. I had it on the little conveyor belt and she's fucking, you know, corn checks, right? Half gallon of 2% milk, everything's going fine. And then she goes, all right. She goes, I can't let you have this and took it away from me and set it on the other side of the register like I was going to lunge after it or something. I can't let you have this. It's before 1230 on a Sunday. And I was just, I, it's like, are we fucking adults here? I'll do it. The way they fucking treat their employees there, how bad, how poorly Walmart treats

their fucking employees, they're going to have the nerve to not let people drink before noon. They should be letting those people drink on the job. How fucking miserable they treat those damn people. How do I know they treat them miserably? I don't know. I've just heard they have. They won't give me my beer. So now I'm trashing them. That's what I'm doing. I'll tell you, they got some fucking clothes in there though. They got some decent clothes. You know, if you just adjust your ego down a little bit, they got some decent clothes in Walmart, like you could make it work. You know, if you give you, maybe if you just fucking spend a little more money on your pants, no, no, no, you know what you got to, this is what you

got to do. If you're going to fucking go cheap on something, you can't do anything near eye level. You can't, you can't get away with a cheap shirt. You know what I mean? You just got to buy a real nice shirt. Then the rest of it can look like shit, but you have to be charismatic to keep people looking you in the eye. Because the second you start losing their intention, their attention, you know, and they start looking down at the guy, like, ah, why am I looking at this motherfucker? Why am I talking to him? Right? They're going to see your shoes and it's going to be over. And they're going to be like, this motherfucker shops at Walmart. He goes down to Wally World. Shit, we all do. We all go down there to buy fucking an eight pound box of fucking weedies.

We all do that shit. But this guy actually goes down there and buys the shirts. And I know what you're saying right now. Bill, why are you making fun of people who can't afford to shop any place else other than Walmart? And there's a simple answer to that. They're not in the room with me right now. Okay. They can't do me any harm. And I am unbelievably tough on my podcast. I'll fucking trash anybody. You know, my dream is, is that people who wear Walmart clothes climb over the walls of gated community someday and they just start murdering bankers and heads of corporations. Okay. And then in the fight, everybody dies. So then you weed out your mouth, breathe in racists. Okay. And they're spawned. And then you get rid of the guys up

top. And then what you got in the middle is bunch of regular fucking people don't want to get fucked with them. They're willing to get up, go down the street, you know, sell some apples, come home, right? That's what I do in my dream world. I have no idea what I'm talking about. How much bullshit that I just throw at you. So that was good 18 minutes of your life. You're never getting that back. How do you feel you're getting through the traffic? When you listen to this, I'm open, I'm open the volumes fine. I know the last couple of weeks, every once in a while, the volume gets bad. It sounds fine to me. Did I just spell Libya, L Y B I a I think I did. Libya. Who's that guy from Libya? I don't know who he is. He ain't from here. I think we should bomb him.

Um, all right, let's get this a little bit of advertising for this week. Oh, by the way, I got to talk to you guys about Blake Griffin. I like Blake Griffin. I enjoy watching the guy play basketball, but it is impossible for me to do that when I'm sitting next to fucking Paul Versey or Jason Lawhead. They fucking trashed it no matter what the guy does, no matter what he does, fucking dunks on somebody. Ah, you know, the guy got there late. That was more of the pass. I did it on some second string guy. Chris Paul does something. They're fucking jerking off. I'm not saying Blake Griffin is as good as Chris Paul, but I mean, you know, the man is wildly entertaining. He is electrifying. He fucking is dunked on everybody in the goddamn

league. Get off his back. They're acting like he's Joe Barry Carroll out there. Like they wasted a bunch of fucking money. That guy, he's helping to put the clippers on the map. You could fucking walk up to a clippers game before that guy came. I didn't give a shit about that Darius Miles guy doing the fucking antenna thing. That's the closest they ever came to anybody given a fuck about him, right? Billy Crystal deserves a goddamn sports medal of honor for the amount of games that he has sat through that guy said, fuck the Lakers and everybody else who goes now I'm going with the clippers guys going, he's contrarian. You know, by the way, did I mention I did you guys, we've, you guys been watching the comedian jet fucking great show

and the pilot episode, that pilot episode where they're trying to get that show off the ground, the way they did that, that's pretty much almost exactly just the, the, the conversations putting two guys together that don't want to be together, but they, where their careers are at, they kind of have to be a half big fucking concept, a bad fucking meeting, you're talking to your manager, you got saying don't do it, you end up fucking doing it. I mean, the way they executed that in the pilot was just, it was off the charts 10, 10 out of 10, as far as old freckles is concerned. But anyways, Billy Crystal has been going to these clippers games. I remember I went, I went to a clippers games at the old LA sports arena. He was there, the black dude from a different

world, remember the guy who wore the glasses, probably had some weird name for his character that fucking killed his career, like cockroach, you know, anytime you get one of those names, you're fucking done, right? Doogie, not doogie, he actually got out of it. Jesus Christ, how the fuck do you pull out of the mud doogie? Urkel, you're fucked. Cockroach, you're fucked. It's another one. Screech, you're done. If anybody is getting into the acting game, I will tell you this right now, if you're fucking, do turn it down. If your character just has a nickname, you're fucked. You're fucked unless you have the talent to start writing your own shit and producing your own shit,

then you can get out of it. You can get out of it, but your whole fucking life, you're done, right? Am I out of my mind? Oh, go fuck yourself. I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying here anyway. So anyway, so I go to the LA sports arena. It was Allen Iverson's rookie year, and I went down there to watch a game and Biggie Smalls was in the crowd. And that was the trip within like five days. He was dead on that trip and I fucking walked right by him. And he sort of had like these security guys around, but he's just sort of standing there hanging out. And I remember that thinking like, wow, I guess that whole East Coast West thing is, West Coast thing is over. But anyways, Billy Crystal was there. The fuck am I talking about? I'm getting back so last night

we're at the bar and I'm sitting there trying to enjoy the game. And we got into this fucking, we got into like three of the loudest sports arguments. I just remember seeing the bartenders in Knoxville just sitting there laughing at us as we're screaming at each other about shit that they didn't even care about. I remember one point this guy came up, he had a Red Sox shirt on and Versey just goes, he goes, how are you a Red Sox fan down here? And the guy goes, I'm from Boston. And then, you know, fuck the Yankees. And then they get in this big fight. And then in the end, Versey's going, Hey, what the fuck are you guys yelling at me for? It's like, Versey, you started with the guy and he goes, No, I didn't. He walked up to me and said, Hey, fuck the Yankees.

It's like, Paul, you're not wearing anything that says Yankees on it. You started with him. This guy's wearing a Red Sox T-shirt. And he's going, No, I didn't, you know, that level drunk you are, where you just fucking, you ignore everything, all types of logic. So all I'm trying to do is enjoy it. And these fucking assholes, they won't get off Blake Griffin's back. I mean, man, I'm out of my mind. They go, No, we're not saying, we're not saying he's not a perennial All-Star. We're not saying that, you know, he, he's not, he's not a good player. We're just saying that he should be doing more. It's like, I don't know. Well, you just listed was pretty fucking impressive. Wasn't it? I don't fucking know. All right. Let's, let's, let's do a little bit of,

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So get started at trunkclub.com slash burr today. That's trunkclub.com slash burr. Jesus Christ. Could I be, could I be making your lives any easier? Run for your lives. Anyways, let's get back to the shit. I'll tell you this right now, man. I, one of the most depressing places I've ever been to is the US airway terminal connecting out of Charlotte, North Carolina. I was taking the red IN. Oh my God, the fucking humanity that I saw. Oh my God, people just sitting there. You know, guy comes in with the, I've been smoking fucking cigarettes my whole life, you know, with the tubes up his nose, carrying an oxygen tank, somebody else sitting there,

you know, with a plate of nachos, right? And right? No lap. Beautiful girl. Just sitting there killing herself, just eating poison. Everybody just poisoning themselves. It was like a fight. It was like this, like this mass suicide that was going on as I sat there in the terminal, not nobody making a fucking quality choice. Everybody just choosing misery in the future. Ah, don't even get me started with the fucking shoes. I was really, that was like going, wow, man, this is flying to Savannah. Then I realized like, nah, you know, some of them are going to other places. It was really depressing. You know, that's how that day, you know, was coming to a close. But then, you know, the wonders of the

road. Next thing you know, I walked to a bar and I'm with Jay and I'm getting a ride home from a gay guy in a kilt. I mean, you know, you always hold out hope that it's going to turn around. If he's listening, thank you for the ride and thank you for putting the beer in the fucking paper cups. It was, it was tremendous. What a night, right? Oh, so we ended up going, we ended up going out to this speak easy, right? You know, which is, you know, it's just a theme thing, right? Head of the key. We met these two fucking women. They worked for like the Savannah PD or whatever. So yeah, we'll get you in, right? So we all fucking head over there. And we're sitting in this bar, they're making some good drinks and everything.

And I wish I had these two ladies on the podcast because I was just grilling them. I was like, what is, what is the fucking weirdest? I go, don't tell me any of the sad ones when people are calling the cops. Give me the weird ones. The weirdest one, this one woman told me was somebody said that their neighbor was jerking off and they could smell the semen. And she goes, you know, okay, so what do you mean? Like, is he standing in the window? Can you see him? She goes, no, I can't see him, but I can smell it. I can smell it through the walls. And they had to send somebody over there. So when he goes, oh, all right, you can smell it, I gotta tell you, ma'am, I don't want to start an argument here, but I cannot smell any jizz.

You know, I think you have a wonderful home here and maybe ought to get some medication. But anyways, so thank you to everybody who came out to Savannah, by the way, and everybody who came out to Knoxville, the fucking theater I played in Knoxville. I think I said Ralphie May did a special there and I could see why it's one of the most beautiful theaters I've ever been to. It was the Tennessee Theater built 1927 or 28, you know, just this unbelievably gorgeous place where you used to go down to watch movies, you know, I swear to God, if I could be alive back in the day, like, I think I would go back to when they first built a lot of these theaters that I played in, just to watch movies,

knowing everybody gets dressed up. It's like a real big fucking deal. They had this giant warlitzer organ, I forgot to look for the thing and find out where it was, they got it refurbished, sent it out to some maniac and Reno that redid the whole goddamn thing. He's like, he's like the guy, I guess, if you're going to have your fucking giant warlitzer organ redone. And the crowd was was phenomenal. You know, it was hilarious was we were fucking on the way there. Law had such a big basketball fan, he wanted to fucking, he wanted to do, he wanted to go see like the Tennessee Volunteers trophy case, see Pat summits, you know, trophies like women's basketball, that's like how psycho into fucking

basketball he is. And he ended up, he ended up doing this Pat summit joke on the bus that had us dying laughing. But like, Verzi goes, dude, you got to do that on stage. And I said, Jay, don't do that on stage. Don't do that on stage. This is like their fucking, this is like their female Jesus. You don't do that. Don't do a dementia joke on there. And then what's this Verzi goes he should do it. So I said, all right, do it tonight. Okay. And I go and if it fucking bombs, all you got to do to save it is just it was basically, you know, she's got dementia. It's like, well, if you saw that much women's basketball over the years, you know, you'd want to forget about it too, right? A silly joke, a silly joke. But if you say it in Knoxville,

it's going to be a problem. Or if there's some cunt who blogs, they'll they'll fucking flip out about it. And where my grandfather has dementia, and you made me sad Monday morning podcast t-shirt, right? And then all of a sudden, there'll be a controversy, right? Fucking baby seals starving to death washing up on the fucking sand. They're gonna fucking give a shit about a joke. Somebody told Knoxville. So anyways, so he was supposed to go out, he was supposed to go out there and just do the fucking joke. And if it bombed, I go just say, Hey, I got to be honest with you. You know, Verzi said, don't do it. Verzi said, do it. Burr said, don't do it. I learned something here next time. Listen to the headline or something cute like that. So he gets to go doing it. And

he does that shit first. Going, I don't know. I said this joke on the bus and I don't know. I don't know if I should say, and the crowd's like, come on, say it. Like he totally got him into it. Bug me. Because then it ended up working. And then he said, Verzi's right. It's like, no, well, once you did the fucking UNICEF speech before the joke, you know, you're almost questioning their goddamn comedy manhood about whether they're going to laugh about it or not. But anyways, I'm just breaking the balls. We're having a good time out here. So hey, Chattanooga people, if you listen to this today, let us know what there is to do out here. I never been here. This is fucking cool. This tour because I've only ever come

been in Nashville and we actually drove up from Savannah on the bus. It was so beautiful. One point going through some of these national parks. I was actually sitting up front. I felt like John Madden on my way to Green Bay for a game or something. I was sitting up there. Absolutely. Eastern Tennessee, southeast of Knoxville, fucking God's country. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, if you can just deal with them fucking hillbillies out there, and you know, every once in a while, somebody's going to, they're going to be coming for you. You know, I don't know what goes on out there. I could never get needed to live out there. She's a city girl. You know what I mean? The way I get nervous on a subway,

she gets nervous when she sees the woods. So, you know, the deal, you know, who's going to make who more miserable? She's going to make me more miserable. She wins. So we stay in the fucking city, stay in a city in a state where we're going to be out of water in a year. How funny is it that I just put in an immaculate bathroom at my house? Spent all my fucking money on it. Didn't spare any expense. Well, was already probably not going to make my money back, because they're just going to look at it as square footage anyways, and I added no square footage to my fucking house. But at least I had this great fucking shower, you know, and now we're going to be out of water.

And once again, nobody seems to be alarmed by it. Nobody seems to be talking about it. Like what exactly is going on? You know, population seals washing up fucking running out of water. Everybody just stay in the course. I think that's the game plan. I think that is the game plan. You just fucking act like everything is fine. And then one day you just take that asteroid to the face and it's over. Maybe that's the way to do it. I'm starting to give into it, you know, fuck it. You know, y'all, you can't do anything about it, but fuck you're gonna do. You know what you're gonna do? You're gonna kill yourself, pig, put it on a spit. You won't dig a hole. We're gonna cook a pig today. I want to go

to a fucking pig picking down here. Oh, by the way, when we go to New Orleans, the pelicans are playing the fucking Warriors. Come out and play. I think we're gonna try to go to the game. We've got a day off down there. How fucking cool is that? But anyways, I absolutely love Knoxville, man. And I have to get back there again. The crowd was awesome. I have got to get back there for a game. And I was asking him what game to go to. And everybody was, oh, you know, go to the Tennessee Georgia game. They play Oklahoma next year. That'll be a good game. And then this fucking old time came up to me and he's like, game you want to go to is the Alabama game. And I was just like, right there. All right, that's the game we're going to go to. Why wouldn't I go to it?

That might be my goal. I'm going to go to every SEC team when they play Alabama and root against Alabama because it's just so much fun to root against those fucking guys and scream the dream ends tonight. You know, why, Bill? Why do you give a shit about it? I really don't. I just like being a cunt. I'm telling you guys, I'm going to retire and I'm going to buy a house in Alabama. That's my game plan. That is my exit strategy. You know, God willing, we still have water when I retire somehow in LA and my house is actually worth something and it hasn't turned to dust. I am then going to go out and going to buy me a spread. Maybe Eastern Tennessee, you know, be far enough inland that those fucking hurricanes will slow down. You know, maybe every once in

a while there's a microburst and the trees lay down, but I'm inside. I'm a nice brick house, brick house. All right, let's get to some of the questions here. For this week. Oh, by the way, for the Thursday, Thursday afternoon, Monday morning, podcast just before Friday. If you would like, you know, stuff that you want me to talk about, articles for me to read, videos, questions, any of that shit, you do it through Twitter and have the hashtag T A M M P tango alpha, Mike, Mike Papa. Sorry. Anyways, just hashtag is that and I'll fucking scroll through it two seconds before I start and you'll get to listen to me read out loud. All right, factory made diamonds. Okay, Bill, this is a follow up from Thursday clip,

where you answered a question about real diamonds versus fake ones and whether or not women should be cool with the factory made ones. Please ask listeners to go back and check it out if they haven't already. All right, well, go back and listen to that. I guess it was last week. I don't even remember talking about this shit. A big Billy dildo. I was listening to your clip. You replayed on the just checking it all from last week. Oh, that's why because it was a throwback clip from last Thursday's just checking in on your Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. He said, I know what this magical stone is. All right, I'll tell you the name, but you can choose to skip over it if you want. If you don't want the secret to get out. It's called a

I can't even say it. Moisanite. M-O-I-S-S-A-N-I-T-E. It's not actually an exact diamond replica, but it looks identical to everyone that isn't trained to know the difference. The good news is that your secret amongst, amongst dudes can be safe. The only way to tell the difference is if you take it to a jeweler to figure it out. If it's a dude, they're not going to fucking rant you out. If it's a chick, well, then you got a wild cut on your hands, but there's nothing you can do at that point. I just know, dude, men who work in jewelry stores are also cunts because they're going to want because they're going to be like, Oh yeah, you bought you a fake one. And because they know that the woman's going to go home and fucking lose her shit. And the guy's going to come

back with his tail between his legs, bringing a goddamn bag of cash to buy a real one. I'm going to say, okay, so I can't, I can't even pronounce it moist, moist sonite. He wrote it all basically in lowercase letters, so I don't know where to accent that word. It's M-O-I-S-S-A-N-I-T-E for guys who need to buy their woman an engagement ring, but you don't want to blow a bunch of money on diamonds. Just get him one of this and they'll never know. That's actually a great thing too. They'll see if you got a gold dig in whore. She actually goes down and checks it out like immediately to see what it's worth. It's like, are you already fucking leaving me? What are you doing here? Right? All right, so I just bought one for my girl last week, actually.

I looked up the exact diamond equivalent and it was between 6,500 to 7 grand just for the diamond. I paid 750 bucks. The best news is that my girl is totally on board with this idea. And her idea was to pocket the extra to go on a badass honeymoon. Yeah, absolutely. And then if somebody fucking goes, you know, give me a fucking diamond ring of your life. You just give it to him. There you go. Just crisis. That's fucking brilliant. You know what? You should have counterfeit cash in your wallet too. Just walk around everything fake. I love this. By the way, you know, made up that thing about spending three months salary on a ring, the fucking diamond companies, of course they did. They had a whole marketing campaign around it. So they're really fucking you over on on top of the

fact that they have a fucking monopoly so they can charge whatever the fuck they want for real diamonds. It's a total sham. Anyways, just wanted to spread the word and let other dudes know that there is an alternative that makes both the girl and your bank account happy. Go fuck yourself. You know what? The more I hear about all of this stuff, the best thing ever has got to be real estate. You know what I mean? You can walk up to it. You can touch it. You can live in it. Obviously, if you got a building on it, that's just got to be the way to go. You know, fucking stock market. I have shares in this. Oh yeah, where are they? You got them in your pocket. You know, I am a firm believer of investing shit that you can just in shit that

you can walk up and touch. But now with the diamonds, I don't know. The whole diamond game, now if you if you buy into the diamond game, now you have to hope that the people at the top, the evil doers actually keep that monopoly because if they don't, and you get free enterprise going on there, then what do you have? You get like sprint starts digging for diamonds, right? Nokia and all these other cunts. And then what happens? You got a you got a shitstorm on your hands. I swear to God, people, I'm going to buy an apartment building. I'm going to become a slumlord. That's what I'm doing. I'm going to buy apartment buildings, fix them up, rent them out to people, and then I'm going to slowly back out of this business. I want to retire

the way Sinatra did the first time. That's my goal. I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but I would love the way he did it. He's singing this song and he just goes, excuse me while I disappear was the final long line of the sign of Jesus Christ, the final line of the song, the final long of the sign, the final line of the song. There we go. And it's for that Pat's so much joke. Look at me. I'm already losing my mind here. And he just stepped out of the spotlight. If he if he fucking left that way, come on, man, that's even better than if Jordan left after he hit that shot against Utah. I know I've already talked about this, but I am obsessed with how to get out of this business. Now, as I've hit the middle part of my career, I feel

23 years ago is 23 and 20, almost 24, 23 years from now, I'm going to be 70 just like that. Boom, fucking over. What am I going to be doing? Huh? 70 years old. You're either a legend at that point and they put you out to pasture and fucking Vegas or you're on cruise ships. But either way, either way, they're like, let you, you just stay right here there grandpa and we'll bring the people to you. Fuck that. Fuck that. I'm going to buy a bunch. I'm going to become a slumlord. I'm going to buy a bunch of fucking apartment buildings in the middle of nowhere. And I'm going to buy a white on white suit, put on some weight and just look like boss hog, right? A redheaded fucking boss hog. And I'm going to walk around a white hat,

you know, and a big cigar that I never liked. That's what I'm going to do. There's actually some people that, you know, who had a great fucking retirement out of this business, the Smothers Brothers. And what they told me at the Orleans casino, both of those guys, they started their own winery and they have their own vineyard and all that type of stuff. And they got that thing going up where it was making enough money to, you know, it's so cool about them. When they retired, they didn't even tell people they were retiring. They just did their last show and they just left total fucking class act, no begging, no hat in the hand, no fucking crying, no being broke. They had their money. They had a good fucking time.

They were done with it. They left and now they're sitting on a fucking vineyard. Jesus Christ. You fucking tell somebody, let me ask you this. What's your guys game plan? If you, what's your fantasy? My fantasy is that I somehow fucking, I don't know, have enough money in real estate, rental properties or something. I don't, I'm just spitballing here, right? That you're actually making as much in rent as you were doing your job. So then you can quit your job and just seamlessly walk over to that. You can just be like, yeah, I'm not working anymore. You know, you got all your buildings paid for. You got all your things rented. Everybody's cool. I know this isn't going to happen. This is a fantasy. And then the check just comes in, right?

You fucking, you go live the middle of fucking nowhere where it's cheap as hell. No property tax, no nothing. Get a giant ass fucking TV, all the sports packages, right? Get yourself a fucking book on how to eat vegan or some shit. So you stay in shape. I'm telling you, then every night you just get shit faced. Be fucking tremendous, tremendous. It's what I want to do. I got to do it like that. I can't be like these athletes that I see that go around fucking acting like jerk offs their whole career. And then they're like, oh, fuck him in my final contract. What am I going to do? And then they just keep playing and playing and playing, fucking try on half the fucking jerseys in the league.

That ain't going to be me. You know, just like Paulie and Goodfellas. That guy's going to die in jail. Okay, that ain't going to me. That ain't going to be me. Hey, smart enough, right? I hope that didn't hurt your ears like I just did mine. All right, let me get on to the next thing here. All right, ditched by a lady. All right, dear old Billy Freckles, I had a date tonight with a lady and the plan was to go get dinner and then see a concert. She was really cool and we went out to a good restaurant near my apartment. Dinner went well. I was making her laugh, et cetera. And after I paid the check, I told her I had to use the bathroom. She said she would, she'd wait right outside the restaurant. So I went in and did my thing. But when I came out, I couldn't find her.

I had only taken a piss. So it's not like I was taking a long time in the bathroom. I called her and it went straight to voicemail. Then I waited around and texted her and she said that she had to leave because her friend's boyfriend had just broken up with her and that she needed to go back to the apartment right away. Oh, Jesus Christ, really? She couldn't wait to say goodbye to you. I asked her if she couldn't have at least told me before she left and she said she was sorry. We both have tickets to go see a concert next week, which we had planned before we planned tonight. But I think it's just going to be really awkward and I don't want to, and I don't know what to do because I'm pretty sure she just ditched me. I would love to hear your Boston accent,

give me some advice. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Yeah, you either got ditched or she's unbelievably fucking rude, but you know, you can't hit your wagon to this. There's no way, there's no way you're putting a baby in that the fuck you have a baby, you know, when all of a sudden, you know, she squirts it out and you're like, Oh my God, look at it, honey. Honey. Honey. All right, she fucking takes off again. Yeah, you can't have that. She's she I don't know, I don't know what her fucking deal is, but what what I all I need to do right now right now, okay, you and this woman, it's fucking over. Okay. And your your best hope if you still want to banger is to stick by your guns that you that you don't put up with this shit that it's fucking over. And just be a matter of fact,

just say no, that was really rude. And it was also very immature. If you weren't having a good time, you should have just said something. And then no, no, no, my girlfriend bowing and then on top of that, you lied to me. I mean, I'm actually glad that all of this happened because I was able to see, you know, that you're not the kind of person that I would want to be in a relationship with. You know, that fucks with them. Wait a minute. He's not mesmerized by my pussy anymore. Right. Next thing you know, she's riding you. These are all just fantasies people. I don't know if this any of this shit's true. All right, so wait, does she have one ticket and you have one ticket? I don't know what I don't know what the math is on the ticket. You said we both have tickets to

go to the show. Well, here's the deal. If you have both the tickets, then you just take somebody else. Yeah. And I don't even think you know, I don't think you're over a phone call either, do you? Or maybe you do. Yeah, maybe you do. I would just call up just say, yeah, listen, I'm taking somebody and I don't do that. If she has the tickets, tell her to keep them. Keep them. Yeah, I don't know. This thing is over, dude. You don't need me. You know what the deal is? It's fucking over. I gotta be honest. It's fucking hilarious that she just left. I've done that. I did that when I was young and immature. I did that one time. I met this woman and she wanted to go out and go see this band. And so we went out there and next thing you know, she was up on

the stage dancing while the band was playing, pointing at the crowd as if she was in the band. And I didn't have the emotional maturity to wait till she got off the stage to be like, yeah, I don't know what that was. It seemed like you weren't enjoying it, but you know, I'm gonna go. And you know, I just left and I'll tell you this, I regret doing that because I think it was really mean of me to do that to her. If that's how she likes having a good time and likes going up there and dancing in front of a band that she's in, you know, in front of a group that she's not in pointing at the crowd is if she wrote the song. If that's what the fuck she likes to do, then you know, I guess, you know, I should have let her do that.

I was the very least, I should have been a man enough to fucking walk away. So trying to think, yeah, I've had a woman do that to me too. I had a woman one time was totally into me. It was over. It was a layup. She was going to bang me and I went up and I had a bad set and I got off and she was gone. I bombed so bad that a woman who was willing to have sex with me thought better of it. And this is the best part. It was a festival and it was only a 15 minutes set in 15 minutes 15. I have to think that halfway through my set because I got off stage, she was gone. So about seven minutes in, she did a 180 and just fucking walked out. So it came back to me. It always comes back to you. All right, crime that pays. Bill, if you could get away with any,

with a major crime, which would, which would you be more proud of a bank heist and art robbery and assassination of an evil world leader assassination all day long? That was the first thing I thought of. That was the first thing I thought of that if you went to like the last supper of every douche making people's lives miserable, you know, pretending like, you know, they don't have they know those people who buy up patents so we can't get energy, you know, electricity and gas and all that shit easier people who just fucking get in the way of that progress, rape the environment, fuck over, poor people, all of those, they all go to the same meal. All right, and you just fucking, I don't know, you're behind like some photo or some shit

with one of those guns that they have on like a fucking, I don't know, you ever see that one, they knew an Argo when they went down the runway and they had that machine gun on that fucking Jeep, whatever an M 60 Southern people are tearing their fucking hair out right now because they know exactly where the M 68 made an M 16 years, it's an M 68 at this point, buddy. And you just fucking mow them down. You just mow them down and that's over and then all of a sudden and then what Bill then who's going to run us because I know it's not going to be me then somehow decent people all take those jobs and make the right decisions and everybody's fucking chill and there's enough for everybody and everybody can relax. Right. That's what I would do.

I would never do an art robbery because I don't have an appreciation for a lot of it, especially if it's just a bunch of scribbles, you know, if it looks like a sleeve tattoo or yeah, somebody kind of colored in your arm there, buddy, I can kind of see a bird, spider web, I don't know what else is there. A bank heist, I don't want to do that because that fucks with regular people's money. You know, art robbery, then you know, next thing you know, a butler's out of a job. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said that I assassinated an evil world leader. Probably put me on some fucking list, you know, just added to the fucking audio that they have in the fucking basement of the Pentagon. Um, yeah, it all ends up,

you all end up, you know, you just end up in a worker camp. I think that's how it goes from here on out. All right, roll the dice, dear Bill, my wife has a friend who we've known for a long time and happens to be very attractive. Let me read this again. My wife's, my wife's, you have more than one wife here, buddy. My wife has a friend who we've known for a long time and happens to be very attractive. Okay, so you've already rubbed one out to her, possibly thought about her while you're banging your wife. Okay, the other day, over a couple of drinks with my wife, she admits that she wants to experience a threesome and she wants it to be with us. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh my God, here we go. Here we go. Jesus, we should have closed with

this question. This is a closing bid right here. When my wife first tells me this, you can imagine my excitement, but then she adds the kicker. Her friend, while confessing her desire for a threesome adds that she has gentle little herpes. Wow. I did not see that left turn coming. But she swears that it is dormant and we're not at risk. Well, how do you think she got it? Oh, that's such a stupid thing to say. Maybe she fucked some guy, you know, you always have to fucking, you know, look out for the women in these. Maybe she fucked some douchebag scumbag guy. Have you seen that fucking, you got a billboard out in LA? It says, do you trust him? And there's a guy laying there with this shifty look on his face with this woman looking at him. HIV positive,

you know, type of thing. They would never have a billboard. Do you trust her? It's unfucking believable. Like, you know, I saw one time one of these magazines, right? Where it says, you know, reasons women cheat, top 10 reasons women cheat. And the top eight out of 10 was because it got was something the guy was doing. It's fucking unbelievable. Anyways, plowing ahead, I am close to your age. So I ask you, do you roll the dice and go for it, knowing that this may be your last shot of the threesome? Or do you play it safe and politely decline the offer? Thanks and go fuck yourself in parentheses with protection. No, dude, you can't, you can't do that. You cannot do that. Because right now you're going to have

a fucking threesome. All right, even if you did that, it's going to make it weird between you and your wife. It just is as much as you're going to try to be cool. It's, it's, you know, you'll be cool with it. She won't be on some level. She won't be you fucking moaned a little too much with the other one. It's going to be a fucking shit show. All right. And then on top of that, you're going to be reminded once a goddamn month that you did it. Fuck that. Fuck all of that. All right. This is the deal. All right. If your wife is willing to fucking do it, why don't you do it with somebody who's, you know what I mean? Who doesn't have any prior convictions here. All right, get somebody with a clean slate. And, but I don't know,

I'm sort of a firm believer that you can't do that with your wife. You do that with somebody that you're not going to be married to. I just think, you know, I don't know. You ever see that shit when people like fucking drink too much water and they die because like the walls of their cells like burst open, like that's what I think happens when you have a threesome with your wife and somebody else. And it's basically the lining to your relationship. It's fucking, it's split. It's done. It's over. Right. And then it becomes then her next thing's going to be like, well, let's do it again. This time can we do it with a guy? And now I want to do it a fucking guy because there's nothing in it for me. You know what I mean?

What the fuck? Well, there was nothing to fuck you. You enjoy it. Women can enjoy other women. You know, then you get into that. Well, that's a double fucking standard. Ah, go suck a dick already. Leave me out of it. I'll be downstairs. You know, you just, you just walking into that whole fucking world. Jesus Christ. But you know, you got to give it up to this woman for just being totally upfront. Gee, I mean, that look, there's something going on. The fact that you're excited by this and not shocked and that your wife is willing to do it. All right. You guys all seem like this is all pretty loosey goosey here. I don't know, dude, even with protection, they say you can still get it. Dude, fuck that. I don't know. I wouldn't do it. I would politely

decline and then ask for references. If she hasn't anybody, she knows that doesn't have her pieces wants to do it. I don't, I don't know what to tell you, buddy. I would say don't listen to your dick. What would you tell a friend of yours if they were in that position? Oh my God. I guess the question I haven't asked is how hot is this woman? Is it worth the risk? I don't know. You know what it is? I just, I can't get beyond like, what is the conversation afterwards? Okay. You guys bang. First of all, do not bang in your own fucking house. Okay. You want to walk away from that crime scene. You understand? All right. But then you got to be thinking like, okay, then you get in the car. No, fuck that. You got to have that, you know,

that awkward goodbye. Like, oh yeah, that was, that was fun. Hopefully it went well. Hopefully you don't get so excited, sir, that you fucking, you know, you get a false start there, right? Let's just hope the whole fucking thing goes well. And then you got, you got that ride home in the car. You know, you both get in there. You're both trying to make, you don't want to, you don't know what to say. So you're just making noises like sitting down like, put it on the radio. Hey, look, they got a new Costco down here, huh? You know, God knows where the fuck her head's at. I'll tell you this right now, there's no fucking way she's not going to ask some questions.

So, you know, like, what are you thinking right now? Oh, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking, fuck you. Don't even start this shit. Listen to the thing, I think you have to have that conversation beforehand. If you're going to do it, you got to say to your wife, all right, here's the deal, we're going to do this shit, but no being fucking weird afterwards. All right. None of this. Did you like it? Did you enjoy here more than me? None of that. That's all off the table. All right. Then what are you then? Then she's sitting on it. And then, you know what she'd do? Then she'll start crying.

I know, I know that doesn't say anything, but you know, you have feelings. I'm just presenting the worst case scenario. Or even worse, she fucking loves it, and wants to do it all the time. And then that just leads to, just, ah, this is going to lead to other shit. It's going to lead to other shit. I don't know. I don't know. Who knows, it could be fun. It could be fun. I just presented all the hazards that could possibly happen. Who knows, man, you could fucking go do it. Bang, bang, boom. You guys never fucking talk about it again. You get to check that off the list. You know, you stare at your dick for a good 30 to 60 days, nothing looks funny down there. And you know what? You got away with it.

Just like Woody Allen and crime and punishment, right? You just sort of get away with it. Who knows? Maybe it happens. I don't know. All right. And with that, stamps.com, everybody. A lot of small businesses get stuck doing this, doing things the old way, just out of habit, including vital operations like mailing and shipping that can be so time consuming. If you're still making trips to the post office, you need stamps.com. With stamps.com, you can do all your mailing and shipping right from your desk. Never go to the post office again. With stamps.com, print postage for any letter or package using your own computer or printer.

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with the final question. I know you guys have been watching hockey. Yes, I have. Yes, I have. I've been watching the Ottawa Montreal series, of course, rooting against Montreal. Ottawa giving them a way tougher series than I thought they were going to. They played great. Montreal is just fucking relentless. I can't even talk. I'm so fucking out of it. God damn late nights. They've just been so fucking relentless. And I don't know, man, they had to win. Obviously, they had to win the last game, 3-0. I don't see Montreal losing four straight, although if they do, what can I do next week on the podcast if they somehow lose four games in a row? I don't know what I'd do. It would just be the greatest thing ever. I would truly enjoy it,

but then I would get nervous because we did that. We blew a three games to non-lead against the Flyers and then the very next year, we won the Stanley Cup. So I hope that doesn't happen. I hope they don't lose four in a row. Do I? I don't fucking know. What am I talking about? Mother Herb, Dear Billy Bong, RIP. Monday is 4.20 and I know the Thursday podcast is now designated towards Good Vibes, man, while the Monday morning remains your bleak outlook on humanity. It really does. However, in the spirit of the holiday, can you please tell us something crunchy about yourself? I don't even know what that means. Perhaps a time when you connected with nature or saw the human race as one or in the least tell about a song or movie you saw

high that was awesome. Love you. Love Nia. This guy wrote this when he was high. Love both you guys, man. I always seen the human race as one. I've always seen it. That's why it's so fucking depressing to watch the cons at the top do what they're doing. That's why my fantasies to take all of them out and then people who are actually responsible going and do the job and they fix the world and I don't have to do anything after I'm done pulling the trigger and my life is totally easy. Maybe that's selfish. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm an idealist. You want me to tell you something crunchy about myself? It's not enough that you know that I make pies? Huh? From scratch? All right. You know what? I have a lemon and lime tree in my front yard.

All right. And I get excited when I walk out there and I get to pick them off the tree, you know, and then I bring them in the house and I go, you know what? I'm going to make a key lime pie out of this. And then I come back later and I realized that I forgot to tell my wife and she's fucking used the limes that I needed. Say it's still going to go back to something bleak, you know, because that's what life is. It's there's the balance, man. You know what I mean? Man, it's like, you know, when life gives you lemons, your wife's going to eat them, man. And it's just, you just got to be all right with that, man. He's got to look down at your toes, wiggle them in your sandals and just kind of wait for the rather ones to grow, man, you know.

How was that? Was that fine? Was that okay? Even something crunchy about me? How about the fact that I'm going out to all these tertiary cities? Yes, I just did use that word. Did I pronounce it correctly? I don't think so. How about that? How about I like going out and fucking hanging out with the people afterwards? I actually enjoy people on a one-to-one basis if they're not cunts, right? You know what? You got me, sir. I think you stumped me. I don't know that I have anything crunchy. No, sorry. I tried. What do you want from me? Baby seals washing up on the fucking beaches killed me this week. Is that crunchy enough for

you? It's made me not eat fish the whole fucking week. I think I might be done with fish. I'm done eating animals that we can't grow, you know, breed or whatever. Even then, I think it's, I don't know, I go back and forth with, if it makes me a piece of shit, if I eat fucking animals, or if, you know, they would have gotten eaten anyway. I mean, what the fuck would a cow be doing if we didn't have a fence around it? It would be walking around like a big slow dope. And it would get, you know, there'd be a fucking mountain lying around his neck within two seconds. Just hanging there, slowly suffocating the thing. Well, we got the decency to have that ceiling gun hover over its head and knock them out. So you can get yourself a prime goddamn rib.

I don't know. There's a lot of questions. I like that angle, man. Try to draw out the crunchy side of me. That made me really uncomfortable. That was a nice feeling. Everyone said, wow, you got to get out of your comfort zone. All right, that's the podcast for this week. Go fuck yourselves. I'll check in on you on Thursday. And you know what? I'm rooting for the Tampa Bay Lightning because they have been hab killers. God knows the Bruins weren't. So that is my adoptive team. I haven't watched a second of the fucking capitals Islanders series. That seems like it's going to be a great one. And I'm loving that the Islanders in that last year in that building are going out like champs here, you know, going down swinging. If I got the time,

the games keep coming on the East Coast ones when I have shows. So I'm in central time now. Maybe I can watch the first period of what is I guess it's game four. All right, that's it. That's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you next week.