Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 4-3-17

Episode Date: April 3, 2017

Bill rambles about kissing in public, psychos and listening to your gut.

In the mountains, in the kitchen, even in the living, they are really everywhere to ride the empty baths. But now we go to the finish, bring them to a Bebath collection point quickly. You will always find one in your neighborhood on Bebath.be Bebath! Together, better for nature and for all of us. Campaign in cooperation with the OVAM. I was like, oh, a little white guy, Def Jam voice. Little white guy, Def Jam voice.

Taking you back through a little comedy history. Remember that? The height of black guys do this, white guys do that. It was always that fucking voice. You ever see a white guy standing in a chair or sitting in a chair? Oh, I mean, a black guy, when he sits in a chair, he sits in the motherfucking chair. A white guy said, oh, jeez, I have to sit out here. Should I do my taxes?

Every fucking joke. Crushed. Fucking crushed. That was the black comic version of white guys going, talking about flying on airplanes. Or comparing dogs to cats. That's more like it, you know. Dog, you're friend or cat. It doesn't even fucking, you know.

That's actually still not a complimentary voice for a white guy. But I don't think that was a complimentary voice for a black guy. So I think I'm in the clear when it comes to political correctness. What a fucking weekend I had, man. I had a great time. You know, I had a great time. I watched the fucking Bruins pick up four points this weekend. All right.

And put themselves back into the driver's seat, at least of their own destiny. All right. By beating the Florida fucking Panthers. And thank God the Chicago Blackhawks had the decency to rest most of the good guys on their team. We really pick up another two points. So thank you to the city of Chicago. Next deep dishes on me. If I run into you, not the whole fucking city.

Just one of you fatties. One of you mustachioed fatties from that SNL sketch. I don't think I've ever seen a guy with a mustache in Chicago. You know. Anyways, I never heard one say deaf bears. Never heard that. Never heard it. Although I don't talk to a lot of them.

I just kind of go there and stand in front of their performing. And I leave. That's basically what I do, which is one of my favorite things to fucking do. By the way, there's nothing. There's nothing better than when you do your show. The second you do it, you get in a car and you get the fuck out of there. That's my favorite thing to do. You know, either that or go to a dive bar and hang out like with three people.

That's the way I'm fucking wired. That's perfect. Be honest with you. There's certain people they like to hang out. You know what I mean? Go wade into the crowd. You know, continue. Continue to say how awesome I am.

I don't do that. I got it for that hour. Perfect. Then you get in the car and it's nice and quiet. It's quiet. You just fucking ride home. You know, and you go into your fucking hotel room. Right.

Sit down. You avoid the fucking snack bar. Right. And then that's it. And you just sit there in the loneliness of your room. That's most reason why I drink on the road to be honest with you. That's all you do. It is you're just trying to stay out as long as you can.

So you're so fucking tired that when you get back to your room, you just immediately fall asleep rather than dealing with the fucking loneliness of it. But I don't know. I had such a great weekend, man. I played a little bit of drums, hung out with my beautiful daughter. You know, she's a riot. She's bossy as hell. Oh my God.

She's already telling us what to do with just like the noises that she knows how to make. Um, yeah, she's going to be a little smarty just like my wife. And she's fucking adorable as hell. Obviously, you know, I'm a little biased, but that's kind of, you know, you know, when people are lying, you know, if what you kid. Oh, hey, what a cutie. I feel like we're getting like legit compliments. So when it was, can anybody out there in the hockey world explain to me like how this,

like what seed you are works in the playoff bracket? Like I don't get it because it used to be like the Adams division and the Patrick division and one played four. And then they sort of jumbled them all up. It seems like when they list them as far as like, I don't get when you go to the winnings thing, because I would have thought is as a sixth or a seventh C, whatever the fuck we're going to be, we'd either play the capitals or the blue jackets, you know, the top of that one, but they kind of do it like a March madness thing where it's like

we're in like a different thing. So for some reason we get off easy or I should say, and have to play the Maple Leafs rather than getting the old right there Fred from the capitals of the blue jackets. Not saying that we're going to be Toronto. I have no idea what's going to happen. But according to the Stanley Cup playoff here on on NHL.com as of today, the Montreal Canadians with Claude Julien Julien would play fucking the New York Rangers. So then number one seed and then they would get the wildcard New York Rangers and then

the Bruins would play the Maple Leafs little original six action there for you on those both of those. Huh? Then the capitals would play Ottawa in Pittsburgh plays Columbus like Pittsburgh gets punished. Shouldn't they be playing an easier fucking team with the points they have? I would think. What am the bottom feed is. So that's great.

I love that Pittsburgh or the Columbus will knock each other out will knock one of the other out. I should say. And I don't know. I don't know what's going to. Is the capitals finally going to push through this year? Is it finally going to happen? You know, you know, it'd be the fucking Armageddon finals would be the Washington capitals versus

the San Jose sharks. You know, can one of them has to win, right? Like the Cubs versus the Indians. Somebody's got to fucking win. And I bet it would go down the exact same way. One would go up three to one. You know, they just got to add that last bit of misery. And then someone would come back and win it.

I don't know. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. All I know is I really enjoyed. Obviously this weekend. And if we can play the Tampa Bay Lightning on Tuesday and fucking put them out of their goddamn misery. I think we would avoid three years in a row of, you know, eating a dick at the end of March. In the beginning of April, we've done it two years in a row. So that's it.

That's it for the fucking hockey talk. Oh, by the way, I don't know what his name is, but that kid on Calgary. I keep to Chuck his kid out there. That kid's a fucking riot, man. He's an old school hockey player. I was watching what do they have there with the fucking Don Cherry hockey night in Canada. We actually get that down here and he was showing a highlight of that kid, you know, picking on that dude from the fucking Kings. And Don Cherry's breaking his fucking balls and it's just like they're trying to make the playoffs.

He's not going to get involved in some stupid fucking fight, right? They drew Doughty and they need him on the ice. I would think anyways, Drew Doughty, the Dave Grohl of fucking hockey. To me, they're the exact same fucking person. When Dave Grohl is not making amazing music, he's playing defense for the Los Angeles Kings. I challenge you to find Dave Grohl ever at a fucking game where Drew Doughty is not a healthy scratch. All right, enough of that bullshit. I can't even tell you about my fucking weekend.

Some of this other bullshit. Oh my God. Hang on. Hang on. It's just like a complete fucking psychopath. It's one of those social events you're like, oh no. There he is. And then it's over.

And then it's the next day. And you're like, oh great. Well, God willing, I'll never have to see that person again. Hey, how the fuck are the Celtics? They're number one seed. I didn't watch them the last two weeks. I kind of got, you know, with fucking hockey and basketball, you kind of got like pick a sport, you know? I mean, you know, I've been trying to watch both of them, but the Bruins were just in a more, you know,

I don't know, precarious position. So it was more of an exciting thing to watch. Are they going to fuck this up? Are they going to somehow pull themselves out of it? And somehow the Celtics are a number one seed, although I don't think they're a better team than the Cavaliers. But I like what LeBron did the other night, last night when he got into it on the court and that made that other dude on his tone team flipping out yelling at him and shit. He immediately tried to diffuse it. And then he was just saying, yeah, I showed him up.

I should have said that blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, that's a fucking leader right there, even though a lot of people don't like him. I fucking like LeBron. So anyways, dude, I've just been having like, I don't know, I got to get back into fucking meditating. I don't know. I just keep running into these situations. Like, I feel like I'm attracting that to me like somebody is this New York number has been calling me for like the last fucking three days. And then I'm like, I don't know who this number is.

So I don't answer. And then they finally leave a message and just say, yeah, this is so and so. You know, I'm looking for so and so, but it keeps saying, you know, this is Bill on the thing. But my phone is saying, you know, it's my daughter. So I'm like, all right, well, this guy's going to figure this shit out, right? And he does it. So he filed right before the podcast. He fucking calls again.

So I finally picked up. I go, hello. The guy's like, yeah, who is this that I'm talking to? I'm like, well, it's not who you think it is. Yeah, you got the wrong number. And he goes, yeah, well, fuck you too. And he hangs up on me like, like it was my fault. So I just laugh and I'm just like, what the fuck?

Why does this shit keep happening to me? So then he calls back and I'm like, well, I got to hear what this guy's going to say next, right? I need a new hour of material. I got to put myself in the line of fire here. So I picked up and he goes, yeah, man, I'm sorry, man. I just, I lost my phone and I keep trying to call my daughter and you know, my name's Bill and it keeps saying your name's Bill. And it's, you got to see the humor in that, right? I'm like, yeah, man, it's a, it's a funny situation.

Good luck to you with your phone. I don't know what to tell you. It sounded like a nice enough person. I love that he said, yeah, well, fuck you too. And he still had the fucking nerve to call me back and then just say act like it didn't even. He didn't say that. Maybe he was just joking when he said it. I was just like, I don't fucking know.

So anyways, this past week, so I'm at this social event. I'm trying to avoid this psycho and he ends up sitting right next to me and I'm talking to this guy and for fucking 10 minutes, all of a sudden I can't find my cell phone. And I'm looking for it and I'm looking for it and I'm not bringing it up to anybody because I'm thinking like maybe I left it in the car. I don't know what. And I realized that this psycho has placed his cell phone exactly right on top of mine on the table. Like completely lined up and mine has a black case and was kind of dark so I couldn't see it. And then I had to sit there playing this fucking mind game. Like, did this guy do this on purpose?

Am I over analyzing this thing? Am I out of my fucking mind? And I don't know. Then it the whole thing just struck me as funny thinking of how my life used to be because I used to have people like that in my fucking life. You know those people that mind fuck you and then like an hour later, hey, I'm sorry. That fucking wife beater relationship you got to get into him. Yeah, which is of course how the evening ends with that bullshit. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Hey, it's all right. Everything's cool. And I just walked out of there and just felt like this fucking weight lift off me. Just be like, I'm never going to see that person again. I have no fucking desire. That is it. That is a fucking wrap.

If I have learned anything from hanging out with fucking a cup, I have two good friends of mine that are both half Sicilian. And when applied correctly, the Sicilian you're dead to me when applied correctly is the greatest fucking. It just streamlines your life. Why would you waste another second of your life playing that mental tennis? Like you obviously don't connect with this person over and you just walk away. And then that's it. And like today I just woke up. I was in the greatest fucking mood knowing I'm never going to see that person again.

It's fucking tremendous. And you know what? I think then I created a void. I created a vacuum in my life because I just let go of all of that shit. And now I got this random guy calling me up on my cell phone looking for his daughter and then telling me to go fuck myself. You know, I'll take that. I mean, that's an easy one. That guy actually sounded like a better fucking person.

So anyways, oh, you know what? Easter's coming up fucking Easter. Here comes Peter, caught in tail, hopping down the bloody trail, yippity-yippity, Easter's on its way. I get this week we're going to actually, at some point, we're going to go back to the mall. I've become a fucking mall person. I imagine eventually it's going to drive me nuts. But we're going there and we're taking our daughter over to get a picture with the Easter Bunny. How fucking cute is that?

It's going to be absolutely adorable. I can't wait to do it. So we just have to cab out some time. And I'm already nervous that she's going to get totally fucking freaked out. You know what I mean? The older you get, the more you look at that. You just realize, what is that bizarre ritual? You know, why would you do that to you?

Sorry, my stomach's grumbling here. I'm fucking on a massive diet here. Massive diet. Massive diet. Cutting out the booze except the last night. Cutting out the booze. Been eating basically perfectly. And I'm actually down to a buck 79.

I fight weights between like 168, 172. And I'm just going to try to lose two to three pounds for that. I figure something by mid-May. I ought to be in fighting shape. And I'm going to try to actually stay in that and continue. Because you know what I do? Is I get down to the weight I wanted to get down to. And then that's like the end of the movie.

Roll credits and I go back to eating fucking pizza and beer and all of that shit. And then I slowly get back up again. And next thing you know, I'm standing shirtless in a mirror, just calling myself every horrible name that I can think of. You know? Top of fuck. Something I've never even heard anybody say. I actually called myself that before I started this diet.

I actually have suits that I can't fit into anymore. Like I've hit that point in my life. And it's just like, I can't be the guy that goes to the fucking dry cleaner to have his suits let out. You go to the tailor and you're just basically saying, listen, the food one, I quit. I quit. I don't want to fucking do this anymore. So anyways, I did.

I just been doing I just been doing cardio. My fucking shoulders getting better. I can't really lift weights or anything. So I've just been kind of just stretching doing cardio and in and trying to eat right. I try to eat like from nine to five and then just stop. But the other night I was doing that April foolishness for Kevin and Bean, who I want to thank for having me on that. We did it down at the Shrine Auditorium,

which is a famous theater out here. What the fuck's going on? Hey, brain, I came and think here. I actually went on Wikipedia. That's what happens. I was trying to look at some of this other shit, some of this advertising. I have to read. I literally get like anxiety as I look at it like, oh God,

look how long this fucking copy is. I don't want to read all that as I'm trying to talk to you guys. My apologies. I was distracted there. So I played the Shrine Auditorium for Kevin and Bean show, April foolishness every year that raises money for, I think it's premature babies. I believe that's what it is.

I never know what it is. I always ask right before I go on, what is this cause for so I can steer clear of going out there like, what's up with premature babies? Should we just let them die or something? You know, just not walking into that. So we were at the Shrine Auditorium and I went up on Wikipedia, went up, I went to it on, on the internet there.

And I found out that that is the place, the most legendary thing that I saw that happened at that place, aside from like the Grateful Dead and all these guys doing shows, was that was the place where Michael Jackson shot the Pepsi commercial and had his hair lit on fire, his Jerry curl. You know, when he was slowly at the beginning, was the beginnings of transforming into a white guy. You know, I don't know if it was the product he had,

if it was a Jerry curl, if it was a conch, I don't know what he had going on. Okay, I don't know how that mixes with Pepsi and flammable shit, but all I know is his head lit on fire. And he got second degree burns. That was it. And all these fucking people were like crying. They were terrified, you know,

that this tremendous artist, his head caught on fire, his fucking head caught on fire doing a Pepsi commercial. That was another groundbreaking thing that he did. Like, because back in the day, if you were a, any sort of a famous person, and if you did a commercial, you would just consider a complete sell out, at least in the white world. I don't know how it worked,

but he kind of was a hybrid though, right? He's sort of the first Caitlyn Jenner, but he did it like in a raceway, you know? Like the way he walked out the door a dude and came back a woman, he walked out the door a black guy and came back a white guy. I mean, I can't imagine being friends with that guy. Every time he would leave, and he'd just come back, he was like a shopaholic, but like for his face,

you know what I mean? You know, his chicks are always coming back with a new bag, you know what I mean? Or some fucking, I don't know what shoes or some shit. He would do the same thing, but with his face. Yeah, Bill, he was one of the most famous people ever. We know what he did. Anyways, plowing ahead.

So I got to do that show down at the Shrine Auditorium, and I cannot even begin to tell you what a fucking great time I had. Unbelievable crowd. Like I had to do a half hour at the end of all these other monsters going out there fucking killing it the entire night, and Steve Oh did a hilarious fucking stunt. Fucking hilarious. And I got to go on like at the end of all this shit

and do a half hour, and it was fucking effortless. That's how great the crowd was. So I want to thank everybody who came out for that wonderful cause that I believe was for premature kids. You guys like the birds chirping in the background? Somebody mentioned to me that's fucking hilarious. Listen to me going off on shit with birds chirping. I usually don't do my fucking podcast in this room.

I just do it because it's the furthest one away from my daughter sleeping. You know, I don't want to hear me dropping all the F-bombs. So anyways, the end of the show comes, right? Everybody's shaking hands. Oh, you were great. No, you were great. No, I like how your mind works. No, I like how your mind works better. You know, we're all doing the Hollywood thing, right?

Everybody had a good set. And once again, I ran into one of these crazy fucking parents, right? This is fucking hilarious. This is what this person did. They said, oh, congratulations on your daughter. I said, oh, you brought it up. You brought it up. Now I got to show you a picture, right? So her and her husband are standing there, right?

They're young, young people, right? They look like they're single. They don't even look like they have kids. And I just show them the picture and she just goes, oh, yeah, it's so easy. You see, it's so easy. It's so easy. She started pointing at my kid going, it's so easy. I'm like, what the fuck is she talking about? I've heard she's adorable. She's cute.

Oh my God, look at those cheeks. She's like, oh, yeah, it's so, it's so, yeah. See, you see, it's so easy. I'm like, what do you mean it's so easy? She goes, she goes, we have three. We have three. It's so hard. You have no idea. And so it just, she used my daughter's picture as a way to launch

into how fucking difficult her life was. First one, it's like, how fucking difficult is your life? The two of you look like you've been P90X'ing. You guys don't have an ounce of fat on you. You don't have bags under your eyes. It's Saturday night. You're out at a show. Neither one of you yawning. And they were going, yeah, we had one.

And then, and then we got pregnant again. And we had, we had, and I was going like, oh, and I'm sitting there trying to be empathetic. Oh yeah, you know, I hear, I hear two is like a game changer. And then three, it's like, you're out. And she goes, oh no, we went from one right to three. We had, we had, we had twins next. And so two kids, I don't even know what that feels like.

We don't even know what that feels like. It's just like, you know what you don't know what it's, you don't know what it's like to be in a fucking log cabin with no fucking heat. Like they had 20 years ago. It's fucking hard to the fuck out of here. I swear to God, like people like that, it's just, I just feel bad for their kids.

It's like, you have to be, you got to be a fucking terrible parent. What kind of person has a kid, right? And all I do when I see other people's kids is I just think of how much that person must love that kid. They have to feel the same way that I do about my kid. And then I'm happy for him. Who the fuck looks at somebody else's kid and just,

and compares like, oh, it's so, it's so easy. Yeah, see, it's easy. And then I go, yeah, you know, well, we're thinking of having another one. And then, then the guy goes, yeah, just have one. Don't have two more. First of all, like, you can control it. Oh, they drive me up the fucking wall.

I fucking, I'm going to say it, I fucking hate parents, generally speaking. I cannot stand them. They're like, they're like fucking martyrs. They're like these fucking, it's like, you put yourself in this situation. Shut the fuck up. You have three people that are going to be sad when you die.

They're actually going to give a shit. And they're going to show up and say how great you are. It were, isn't that enough? Oh, it's so hard. You have no, really with iPads and fucking 200 channels of cable. You can put them in front of a fucking plasma TV. It's like looking into a tropical fish tank all day for them. Yeah, this soft.

You know what I mean? I don't know. I guess. Oh God, there's so many times in my life, like I wish I could just go back like that. Believe it or not, I'm great in the moment on stage. I'm so bad at it when I'm off stage. You know what I mean?

I'm just, you know, cause I immediately just get to this anger level and then I end up looking like a psycho. Like I wish I just said that to him. Like you guys sound like terrible parents. Do you want to put your kids up for adoption? So maybe you can go back to doing blow or whatever the fuck it is that you miss. You know, Baddick, I wish I could go back to last night and just tap that guy on his shoulder

and just point at his cell phone on top of mine and just be like on a psychological level. Would you like to explain this to me? How did this happen? Was this by accident? But I don't. I don't fucking say anything. And then I just fucking write people off

and then they look at me like I'm out of my mind, which I am. I'm definitely out of my mind, but I'll tell you right now, I'm not the only one. I am not the only one and I have learned that. I learned that this weekend. Oh, it's so easy. It's so easy.

It's like, why would you say you don't have any fucking idea? Imagine if I had a special needs kid and you've pointed at saying it's so easy. What the fuck is wrong with you? Oh, that's right. You're completely self-involved. Oh, I felt good to get this out. Oh, Jesus.

I'm glad I didn't say it. I'm glad I saved it for the podcast. But wouldn't the podcast be better if I actually started saying these things to people so then I would have the confrontations and then I could just, maybe I could then do a two hour podcast. Hey, who knows?

Who knows? You know, as I mentioned earlier, or the last podcast, I finally got serious satellite radio in my car so I'm fucking listening to the 80s channel, the 70s channel, NHL. You know, I listened to OPI show, Jim Norton's fucking show and I finally listened to Howard Stern for the first time in fucking forever.

And he had Craig Ferguson on and Craig Ferguson was going on and on about the Chappelle fucking special. I got to check it out. He was going on and on. The greatest one I've ever seen. I'm like, well, fuck, I got to check that out. I got to fucking check that one out.

But half of me does not want to watch it because I know what's going to be. I don't want to feel like, oh my God. Certain people you watch to get inspired, I can't watch this shit because I'd be like, oh God, I suck. Really? The gap is still that large. You know, I don't know.

Every once in a while you think you're fucking Hendrickson and you realize you're just playing a ukulele. Right? Isn't that what happens? Isn't that what life is? In the mountain? In the kitchen? Even in the living room? They're really lying everywhere, riding the empty baths.

But now we're going to the finish. Bring them to a B-Bad collection point quickly. You always find one in your neighborhood on B-Bad.be. B-Bad? Together, better for nature and for all of us. Campaign in cooperation with the OVAM.

I was just like, Jesus Christ. All right, pro flowers, everybody. Have you ever forgotten your anniversary? Yeah, to be honest with you, right now I would, if you asked me, I would be, I'm 80% sure of my anniversary date. But fortunately, I married a person who also, we don't, we can never,

we don't really remember the day that we met. We don't have a day for that and we, like this year, we were just like, what's our wedding date again? See, 11th, right? No, 12th. No, 11th. 11th.

11th? Yeah, it's 11th. But if, I don't know, if you married some, I don't know, accountants, if you married an insecure accountant, they know what the date is, right? Have you ever forgotten your anniversary? If you're nodding, yes, you're lying. Oh, how do you figure that?

You know those people that are just hard to shop for? Wait, what the fuck state? Have you ever forgotten your anniversary? If you're nodding, yes, you're lying. Well, I wasn't nodding, but I have. I've actually booked myself on my anniversary weekend because I forgot, I just don't think that. I just think, oh, every other week,

I go on the road. And if it lands on that week, then I wasn't out and it just, you know, I don't know, evidently, pro flowers. Jesus, are they fucking psychos? Are they going to put this cell phone on top of my cell phone? Anyway, she knows those people that are just hard to shop for, like your wife or your anniversary

or your sister for her birthday. It's just the worst trying to fit, trying to find a gift that, that A, you know they'll like. And B won't cost an arm and a leg. All right, first of all, that's what the fuck they want. They want something that they're going to like, and they also want something that's going to cost an arm and a leg.

Pro flowers, stop acting like this is like a substitute for a gift. All right, you are the fucking appetizer. This is a great appetizer, getting flowers. But if you think you're going to fucking every year, just get your wife flowers. Hey, toots, thanks for hanging in there. Nursing the baby. You shove these in your face and give them a whiff.

I'm going to throw them in a vase. They'll be dead in two days. This costs me 29 bucks. That's how I feel for you. This is what you get as an acutra mall to whatever the fuck else you're going to get, right? A condiment. This is the mustard on top of the hot dog

that costs like fucking, you know, whatever it is you make, like a good 40% of your salary. All right, salary, salary, all right. Well, I'm going to make it easy for you. Pro flowers is my go-to for flowers. It isn't. There's a guy down the street that sells them. He puts them together great. And I like them.

But, you know, if I'm sitting in a cubicle and I don't have time for this shit, I'm going to pro flowers. They're fresh, priced right, and a perfect gift for literally anyone. Yeah, get one for one of your buddies. I'm sure they'll love them. And they get delivered straight to your recipient's door.

How easy is that? And that's what women don't like. He didn't put any fucking thought in this whatsoever. That's why it's an acutra mall. Right now, pro flowers has a special offer for your purchase of $29 or more. Pro flower bouquets or bouquets, police or police,

are guaranteed fresh for seven days or your money back. They have a seven-step quality check, which means the flowers are always awesome. Their website is super easy to use. You can schedule your delivery ahead of time for any date you want. And get back,

get back to your fucking day. Pro flowers is a no-brainer gift for a birthday, which is why you have to also get or something else. Anniversary, every occasion or even for no occasion at all. Anytime when you want her to feel special,

they take care of all the details. Yeah, pro flowers is great for a date. If you're going to add it to a gift or if it's not a special day and you just get it for them. That's a fucking great thing. Like if there's seven days out of the year,

fucking their birthday, your anniversary, Valentine's Day, that fucking bird in the tree, Flag Day, okay? This is when you get them. Get around like fucking, you know, July 18th.

I was just thinking of you. Those fucking birds are crazy, huh? Anyways, I know you have either a birthday or your anniversary coming up. So right now, get $10 off your purchase of $29 or more at pro flowers, but this deal definitely will not last long. So go to proflowers.com

and enter code BIR at checkout to get the special deal. All right? There you go. Oh, look who's... Me on D's, me on D's,

get you brought some fucking flowers. Me on D's, wash your balls in the showers. They'll spell really nice, rub the roses on them. Why did you do that? Why did you squat in the fucking vase? Oh, because I...

I want to sit on your face with my me on D's. Sorry, that one was all over the place. Elevate your underwear game to the next level with me on D's. You perfected your wardrobe. But what about the stuff not everybody gets to see?

If you've been settling for store-bought underwear, five packs, I have something that will change your life with me on D's. What's the first thing you put on and the last thing you take off? We all know what you had, but this isn't about that.

It's your underwear. Make your most important piece of clothing the best it can be with me on D's. What is me on D's, you might be asking at your cubicle? Oh, just seriously, soft-feel good on D's delivered right to your fucking door.

Me on D's are designed in Los Angeles and made from sustainably sustainably sourced micro-model. Modal? A fabric three times softer than cotton. And if you're not ready for, that's fucking hilarious, your balls are gonna be so fucking cushioned,

right? Compared to the callous hands. I'm kidding, they're made here by union workers. And if you're not ready for a subscription, that's okay. Hey, no pressure. You can still save. That's because me on D's is offering you 20% off your first pair. Just use our special URL

me on D's.com slash burr and get 20% off your first pair. So go ahead, revamp your underwear drawer. You deserve it. Once again, that's me on D's.com slash burr, me on D's.com slash burr. And we got two more and these are quick reads and I love it. All right, do all this

Shave Club Duke buying a fucking raises like buying a cat to get to get smooth luxury quality. You have to pay a huge price. And that means you're paying mostly for splashing marketing features. You don't

actually need switch to dollarshaveclub.com everybody. It's the smarter choice, luxury quality and an economy price. Dollar Shave Club's raises are amazing quality. They've got the shave tech you need and none of the overpriced gimmicky shit. You don't. All right. Have you seen the they add for the razors monopolies

newest razor thing. It has like 21 blades swivel pivot fucking robot razor with a laser pointer to your chin every year. They make a tiny change to the range and they do that. They change it a little bit and then the new fucking blades don't fit it and then you got to keep up with the

Joneses. It's complete boys bullshit. All right. You want to get out of it. Join dollarshaveclub and be done with all of that shit. There's never been a better time to give them a shot right now. You can get your first month of any of their amazing razors for only

a buck including free shipping and after that it's just a few bucks a month. There's no long term commitment no hidden fees and you can cancel whenever the fuck you want get your first month for just a bucket dollarshaveclub.com that's dollarshaveclub.com

and lastly but not loosely stamps.com you know what I use stamps.com whenever I'm sending out any of my posters when I feel like I'm going to whore myself out at the end of the shows trying to just ring every last dollar out of my fucking fan base. All right. I'm a moron if I can figure out

how to use their fucking scale and stamp machine so can you. Stamps saves you time and money which you can use to grow your business. I can mail any letter any package using my just my computer and printer and the mailman comes and picks it up. Avoid the hassle

man of the post office and mail everything from postcards to stamps to envelop sorry to packages domestics or international stamps.com will even help you decide the best class of mail based on your needs no need to lease an expensive postage meter right now

you can enjoy the stamps service with a special offer that includes a four week trial plus postage and a digital scale without long term commitments go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in burr that stamps.com

enter burr stamps.com never go to the post office again. Alright anyways hey how about the fucking the Patriots might be talking up to Adrian Peterson huh if you're a fucking

I don't know I've been watching the Patriots for a long time doesn't that remind you when we signed Corey Dillon that'd be nice to get that fucking guy wouldn't maybe see Tom Brady get number six alright so he said he said he wanted to play for another five or six years

that's fucking unbelievable um just the fact that he's gonna do that means he's gonna play for at least another three so he has a legitimate shot at getting another ring um unreal unreal good lord I fucking enjoy that

alright because every time every year he plays I always think this could be the last year this could be the last fucking year you know Belichick is almost 70 years old Brady's gonna be 40 you know and you know oh we're gonna fucking what's gonna happen in that franchise when those two people leave

who knows because what's his face Robert Kraft his three coaching hires Bill Parcells, Pete Carroll Bill Belichick he's three for three um alright let's read some of these uh some of these emails for the week um

girl freaks out hey there Billy boy George um you know what's funny I I never liked him when I was in the in the 80s you know homophobic to like that guy but uh his fucking drum is the shit on there do you really

wanna hurt me love the fucking drums on that song um anyways not sure if you saw this yet some girl freaked out at a yogurt shop in Santa Monica because the couple behind her kissed each other she starts saying that she was being

sexually harassed by them doing so it gets out of control the funny thing is that she starts off acting like a hacky liberal but then ends acting like a hacky conservative as she shifted through stages of emotion uh the phoenix video

tour video look great can't wait for San Jose um yeah I actually I watched some of that at first I love this woman because I hate people who fuck I don't hate I hate looking at people making out in public it's fucking gross it's fucking gross your tongues jam down

each other's throats you know it's like I don't want to look at especially when I'm around food I totally get what she's saying but then she took it too far when she started saying that she was uh that she was being sexually harassed what I did love though is I love

how the extreme close up when she's yelling into the camera it reminded me of that movie misery you know with that lady's like you can't wait the cocky do-do whatever the fuck she says was there anything more satisfying in a fucking movie when he finally got

out of the bed and started slamming that bitch's head against the floor just laying there that powerless do you know in the book she actually cuts his feet off rather than breaking his goddamn ankles um I gotta be honest with you I really think I could have sweet-talked

my way out of that bed I really would have I would act like I wanted to fuck her I would have done that right I would have told that I was never gonna leave her I would have built her fucking up until I started to be able to walk around right

and then I would actually and once I could even was how this is how long of a slow play I would go with that woman I would actually I would after I could walk I would stay in a three month relationship with her till she got so fucking comfortable right and then one day I'd be making my famous fucking scrambled eggs

take out a fucking skillet hahaha that would be it man I would I would stay in a relationship with that woman until the fucking snow melted you know

and I could shake off whatever thing I had that fucking or I could shake that off I'm German Irish I could fucking I could put that in a box and never think of it again no pun intended that's what I would have done he fucked up you know what I mean he actually wrote the real fucking book I guess that's cause

I know that she was out of her mind but I swear to God I would have fucking I would have told her that I love what she did with her hair all of that thing the hardest thing would have been was not laughing the noises that she would have made during intersex intersex intercourse

intersex anyways I don't know what that says about me but you know that's that's how I would have got out of it I would have just gone totally like oh yeah you're beautiful oh my god this soup is fucking delicious and I would have just talked to her and just find out what the exact fucking

book she wanted me to write and that's exactly what I would have written maybe I hit it with a typewriter like some sort of symbolism I don't know but at the end of the day you know fucking some pig versus getting both of your fucking ankles broken I mean I don't think there's

there's really no trade off right um you probably wouldn't she's such a fucking lunatic she's probably like asexual you probably don't have to do that you know just laugh at her jokes I think you would have been alright um

anyways I just went on a tangent there sorry about that uh here we go so anyways getting back to that yeah I don't like when uh I don't like watching people make out it's fucking gross to me I hate it and the two things I hate most in movies is when people are fucking making out

and people when they're eating in the scene and they're fucking making those fucking noises there's nothing worse than watching an actor eat in a scene because most times they're not eating so they have to overact eating and everybody I don't know what happens they turn into fucking animals

they start eating with their mouths open they start pointing at people with the bread um that and I hate love scenes in movies you know what I mean like when they take it to the point where literally one actor is sucking on the other actors titties

it's just like I get it they're gonna have sex like why are you gonna take it to this level are you making a porno now I wanna watch a porno I'll just watch a fucking porno why can't you just have walk in the bedroom and then they close the door I get it they fucked like who is that for

take my breath away they're always up against the wall and it's fucking raining out or some shit you know what I mean rather than getting used to each other hahaha figuring out which lip to go for do you go for the top lip

or the bottom lip you know what I mean what position do you like do you like to have your ass slapped and all that shit's out of the way they just automatically start acting like they've been banging each other the whole summer whatever fucking songs they play what are some of the stupe in the 80s they always played that stupid saxophone

the saxophone got ruined in the 80s it went from this like it went literally from this instrument that when it was in the hands of a black person it actually scared the CIA to the 80s where it just meant that Tom Cruise was gonna fuck somebody

hahaha you know half of those jazz guys from the 40s 50s and 60s they had their fucking phones bugged by the goddamn jazz gohoover in the FBI and then it just somehow it just all went to shit in the 70s

it all went to shit in the fucking 70s you know they whacked everybody that they needed to whack in the 60s they figured out how not to lose public support of a war after the debacle of Vietnam right so now they got everybody everybody's like I support troops

I support troops I support troops who doesn't support the troops they're on our team but the brilliance is they've now morphed that into you cannot criticize the war if you do or anything that the Pentagon is doing because

now you're criticizing some 18 year old who's over there fighting for your freedom it's fucking brilliant we should have seen this coming with what happened to the saxophone in the 80s alright girlfriend says I'm stagnant oh Jesus oh dude

that's a major red flag hey Bill you tiny Tim looking red nose peckerhead okay who is tiny Tim again oh tiny Tim's that ugly motherfucker with the ukulele Jesus Christ

wow he looks like if somebody beat the shit out of George Washington thank you wow that one really hurt anyways maybe I'll pull a Michael Jackson get a cleft in my chin love you love your podcast but you wrote you

love your podcast even though I never get any advice will you give me some I have this is somebody who's not going to use any punctuation this is all one sentence loved you maybe this person's foreign loved you podcast even though I never

get any advice will you give me some advice will you give me some I have this girlfriend I really like that's all one sentence we work together at the local restaurant I was fine until I got fired then I got into a fight with my girlfriend's

sister's boyfriend got that no I don't all right I mean let me try to break this down here all right you have this girlfriend you really like we work together at the local restaurant

I guess everything was cool and then you got fired and then you got into a fight with her with hers sister her sister's boyfriend okay so you girlfriend at work you got into a fight with her sister's boyfriend and then you got fired

from the TGI Fridays whatever the fuck you did all right I'm back on board then I got a DW AI driving while alcohol influenced I don't know what the fuck's going on here and I feel like a complete loser and sometimes it gets me depressed

also I still give her rides to work which she tells me means nothing and also says she loves me but has been getting meaner every day I don't get a job all right well okay well in defense of her you have to understand with the woman that if you're not

bringing in money you just literally have you're like a 40 year old teenager at that point you're just like a big kid she has to deal with you know and women they're all feminists until they have to start paying for everything you know what I mean

like what's fucked up with sexism and all that and that guys have better paying jobs evidently I have no idea I've never asked people what the fuck they make but let's just say what they're saying is true what's fucked up is it now created

this thing where women can date and like you're always for the most part dating up you know if you're if you have reasonable fucking looks okay and you had a reasonably good childhood and for whatever you're not migrating towards fucking losers

alright you can actually always be in a situation where getting married is a good thing because the other person makes more money than you so you have the whole fucking thing falls apart you're gonna get the house you're gonna get the child support you're gonna get the alimony right only lately

are we finally starting to see women having to do that and it's fucking like they freak the fuck out like what right a woman paid alimony was if like I all of a sudden got my period and like wait I got to do this now what the fuck right

um anyway so anyways let me get back to the fucking thing here I keep I keep going on tangents here I need to stay focused um so okay so you got a DUI right and she still gives me a shit okay so now you're not making any money so you know and you're all depressed and you don't

have a car so I'm guessing you're not really looking for a fucking job or maybe she's just mean as shit I don't know anyways he said I've never had trouble getting work when I needed it but now I feel like a lazy piece of shit my girlfriend called me stagnant stagnant and told me she's

worried she said tonight she would see me later then changed it to or talk to you later and trailed off muttering some inaudible bullshit I need to pay my rent tomorrow uh and I basically broke his fuck I gave her a key to my place and she agreed

to pay half the rent but I feel like I'm twisting her arm to do it yeah dude what are you doing I feel stagnant too and depressed and she makes it hard to think sometimes so I secretly bought a train ticket to California from New York

that leaves in two weeks I'm debating whether to stay here keep looking for a job in a debt economy try and work things out with my girl I'm sorry guys like this is not me here this is how this is written

and face the music by paying thousands of fines and traffic tickets while I'm broke his fuck or go with a couple of hippie friends hike through through like he threw a ball the state of California while stopping to work on

woofing farms in between is this like Jack Kerouac shit I don't know I'm starting to think this isn't real to stay or to go I don't know but if she calls me stagnant again I'll be out and over the horizon I feel bad and I don't know what the fuck

to do so any advice is appreciated thanks and go fuck yourself yeah first of all alright let's just eliminate the woman from all of this okay you need to pay your traffic tickets dude if you think you're just gonna walk away from that

you're gonna end up doing jail time a buddy of mine did that and they put him in county which you don't want to be in because that's all different levels of fucking people at least in LA that's like rapist lunatics like their own kid on fire

right down to yeah I had a bunch of traffic tickets he had a DUI and he didn't show up to court maybe he won't go to jail I don't know but it's gonna be a fucking nightmare and that's gonna be hanging over your head and then you're gonna have to try to work under the table which is gonna cause you not to fucking pay taxes

it's gonna be a nightmare so I don't know I would I would reach out for help is what I would do and it doesn't sound like my girlfriend wants to do it anymore

you haven't told me how long you've been unemployed but it sounds like she's at the brink of being fed up with you but you did get into a fight you did get fired you did drink and drive so you're making a bunch of bad moves and it's not her fault

that she's trying to envision a future with you and all she's seeing is that she's gonna work while you're boozing it up and she has to support you and I'm gonna go out on a limb here I don't like speaking for the ladies but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say

I don't think a lot of women are looking for that in the future so I would man up you need to man the fuck up and realize that you are stagnant you need to get your shit together I don't know what you have to do to find a fucking job that's a difficult thing but I don't know

can you ask your parents for some help maybe you fucking leave your apartment move back in with your parents over up you start working out with the old weights you left in your parents garage you find a fucking job alright get on a payment plan with your fucking tickets and all of that shit

get all of that off the table maybe even break up with your girlfriend get your shit together create a whole new fucking you and maybe you get a new girlfriend that's beyond the level of this one here that was working at the fucking restaurant or whatever the hell you were at

but just know this you sound like you're still young you're ahead of you and you know what you're doing is you're giving into your situation rather than fucking picking yourself up off the mat so get up off the floor stop feeling sorry for yourself alright

you have all the power in the world to turn that thing around alright and that's it get a job pay off your tickets and you know see what happens with that woman maybe she's not the one maybe she is who knows who gives a fuck work on yourself

there you go alright girlfriend's ultimatum now Jesus Christ here we go again hey Billy Bond my girlfriend parenthesis of over one year recently gave me an ultimatum weed or her I chose weed

alright there's a person who knows what he likes did you say that did you say that in the moment did you wait a few days did you mull it over for at least a few minutes sick of your pot smoking okay and I know that

you know I said earlier that I was okay with it but the truth is I'm not you're high all the time I think it's affecting you and it's just I'm to the point I can't do this anymore so you need to make a choice

either you choose me or you choose marijuana where's he going to be I'm going to choose the weed sweetheart see she's going to slowly walk her head down out the fucking door

it couldn't have gone down like that anyways however as I perceived it it was a choice of reason versus absurdity not her verse weed allow me to defend myself absolutely sir you have the floor or man

you know this might be a lesbian relationship my girl and I started smoking together about two months ago she was never big on it but I was a self admitted pot head in the past we started smoking a couple months ago at her request we would smoke

one or two hits per night before bed well last night she decided that she didn't like smoking weed anymore because she doesn't like the feeling of being high apparently in that same moment she became morally opposed to the idea of marijuana and she proceeded to call me

an addict that has a serious problem in a grand dramatic gesture she flushed my remaining weed down the toilet and made me choose her or weed wow that escalated as they say in anchorman

she kept pointing at me and yelling look at yourself you're so high right now keep in mind I took one hit out of a one hitter I called bullshit on all of her arguments because as long as I've known her

she has never had a problem with weed and would often encourage me to use it because it does reduce my anxiety and temper she often brags about her ex-boyfriend selling weed and her ex-husband smoking every day

and it not being an issue alright I was kind of hearing her argument until those last fucking two sentences wow this person this is a fucking retread you're with huh Jesus you got her out of the recycle bin there

so I assume this wasn't about weed but something else I assume it's the result of me telling her months ago uh oh here we go that I wouldn't be with her if she continued to drink because she had a serious seriously unhealthy relationship with alcohol

so I imagine she's trying to use this her chance to play holier than thou card for the record I don't want to smoke weed all day slash every day it's the principle of the thing but now my relationship is riding on this thing and I don't want

to do what is riding on this thing and I don't want to do I think it's writing on this thing that you don't want to do is think what you're trying to say what are your thoughts help a brother out do I want to deal with this crazy level of hypocrisy forever thanks go fuck yourself

I don't think so no I don't think so in the detached way that you're able to talk about her and you never once said that you know I really love her though you never said that so um sounds like she had a rough childhood that led into alcohol abuse

and to her uh picking some really fucking some real winners here drug dealers and fucking uh I don't know I don't know what her ex-husband did but he smoked every day um yeah I think uh

the way you tell it it doesn't sound like a rational person so um on the other side I will tell you there are a lot of people that get high every day and don't think that they have a problem whereas if you get drunk every day people call you drunk and say you know

you have a problem um I have a couple friends of mine that did that for a good 30 fucking years and they paid the price um smoking weed every single fucking day it's like everything you wouldn't want to eat ice cream every day you'd be a fat fuck

you drink booze every day you're gonna have a bad liver gallbladder, gin, blossom I mean fucking alcohol is brutal and I actually you know now that I've finally been educated a little bit on weed I really do believe it's way way worse it definitely ages

you way way way more um then weed does but I don't think like you know wake and bake people and people who need weed to fall asleep I know it helps with anxiety and shit like that and obviously you know pain of chemotherapy

it's got a lot of great things but I when it really comes down to is if it's not if you feel it's not affecting your life then I would just continue to do what you're doing but it's something that as an adult you know when you move out and your parents aren't there to question your behavior you really have to

I feel be extra tough on yourself like I drank way too much last year way too fucking much so I'm glad that I kind of have it back under control and even now I probably drink way too much um so I'm trying to look at that type of shit and you know what's funny when I

when I don't drink you know I'm more apt to take a hit of weed because I'm just used to having a little bit of a buzz every couple of days so then I whenever I quit drinking then there'll be like a two week period that if somebody has weed

hey you want to hit I'll actually take a hit and I never smoke weed but then after that then I just you know I just don't like weed I'm just not into it and um then after like two weeks then I just kind of just don't do anything and then that's when I

start getting into shape again so whatever I think you know you sound pretty level headed and you never said you loved her so I would get out of that that sounds like a fucking you'd really have to like the amount of baggage she sounds like she has you know

I mean marrying a fucking alcoholic I mean that just that's that really takes a fucking saint to if you're sober sort of I don't know I don't know why you'd want to put yourself through that alright that's their issue to fucking deal with and you

got to be selfish when you want to find the right person so there you go alright older lady wants to bang oh gg here's to you Mrs. Robinson alright hey bell I am a 22 year old senior at college

just outside of Baltimore and I'm a big fan of your stand up and podcast well thank you I caught your show and you came to Baltimore and you absolutely killed it thank you again anyways I wanted to I wanted your advice as it relates to an older fucking lady

so just to give you a little background last summer I decided to get in shape I developed a nice workout routine and subsequently lost 40 pounds and really built up some muscle as a result women have been showing me a lot more showing a lot more interest in me there you

go turned it around good feel I'm happy for you and I have definitely had more confidence with talking to women alright well keep good keep going keep going keep shooting for the moon talk to those chicks you think are out of the out of your league see what happens anyways now I have been using some

dating apps and have met and hooked up with more women than I have ever have before not bragging it's just the facts alright well I hope you're using a condom there fucking studly so recently and this may sound weird I ran across this incredibly

attractive 50 year old woman on one of the dating apps and liked her profile just kind of as a joke no you didn't you were attracted to her who gives a shit she's a classic example of a cougar she's like Mrs. Robinson from the graduate or that

horny bitch from sex in the city who just fucks everybody oh my god yeah the most one dimensional character ever Kim Cattrell's character it's just fucking every fucking line it's like I get it you fuck a lot of guys

does anybody ever just there has to be a YouTube video where everybody just put all those lines from the entire fucking series it's like my Nia used to watch the thing all the way back when it was on when we were still living in New York

we were living together in this apartment I would just be in the other side of the apartment she would be watching it and anytime Kim Cattrell's character would say something I would always be in the background I would just go it's a whore anyways he says much to my surprise

I matched with her I don't know what that means she hit you back basically she's surprisingly sexually aggressive now it isn't women fucking by their mid 30's they know what the fuck they want they don't give a shit anymore and clearly wants to fuck me

she sends me messages all the time of course she does, she doesn't want to bank some fucking old bastard like me she followed me on Snapchat recently and started sending me nude pictures and shit now at least in my experience young guys always joke about the prospects of fucking a cougar

all my friends are saying I should just fuck her but I can't shake the feeling that there's something fucked up about it is it weird that she's over twice my age what are your thoughts on this bill should I fuck her or is it a bad idea well thanks to go fuck yourself oh sir this is going to be a great lesson for you

how old did you say you were 22 I will tell you this and it took me into my early 40's to learn this there is no way to ever overemphasize the importance of listening to your gut

listening to your gut will, will, I'm telling you when your gut just tells you man this doesn't feel right fucking walk away walk away every fucking time okay unless it's like

it's some sort of stage fright thing some sort of anxiety thing that you have to get over you're not afraid of fucking women okay now all of a sudden this woman's coming and this is fucking feeling that you're feeling this ain't right just fucking walk walk

walk away okay what kind of a fucking 50 year old is sending naked pictures to somebody half their fucking age alright now I know this day of hyper feminism they'll say that that's actually brave it's this it's that it's empowering it's fucking pathetic

cause all you have to do is slide it over if a guy was sending dick pics to a 22 year old chick see what I'm saying you know what I mean this is like whatever anyways yeah dude fucking walk away

that's a you know that's a fucking train wreck and your gut is telling you that and you need to just listen to your gut alright when you go into a job interview and you're fucking sitting across the person they're talking to you I'm telling you beyond just interviewing you're gonna get a sense

I swear to god I took a meeting one time with somebody and the second I met this person I just didn't like him and there was something about him they felt sleazy and I got this joke thief vibe and I immediately stopped telling stories and all that shit and I ended up going and I just was like wow I thought I really

wanted to meet that person then I met him and they weren't what I thought they were gonna be and then I talked to like two or three people about him they're like yeah that guy's got a fucking rep for stealing shit I'm telling you you gotta listen to your gut that's how you how you end up not in the trunk of a serial killer's car

is your gut's gonna tell you I don't give a fuck if this person has a flat keep driving you're gonna feel it you're gonna feel that weird thing so good for you don't do it alright here we go alright let's read the last thing here overrated underrated

hey you Bruin lovin fuck Boston Bruin lovin fuck make sure you get it right the original Bruins not like the UCLA Bruins who came later overrated Sydney Crosby is the most overrated cunt I can think of

oh give me a fucking break dude alright so he scored a lot of goals against your team is what I'm guessing anyways he said I wish this cocksucker would be held accountable for just one of the ridiculous fucking antics he pulls this bag of shit most recently

jams his stick into Ryan O'Reilly's nuts from behind you can see in the replay he waits for the ref to be screened and assassinate O'Reilly's future kids he won't even get a fine fuck him in every cunt that roots for him

um I understand that I understand that but you know Lucci choose to play for us and he was the king of spear and people in the taint and the nuts um I don't know I would just you know he also makes the league a lot of money and superstars

have different rules that's just how it is but I will tell you this that guy's backhander is fucking has more power and speed to it than a lot of guys wrist is in the league best backhand I've ever seen and um you know I have to give it up

to greatness but you know he yeah he used to whine a lot when he was younger I think half of it was his pouty lips so it made it look even worse but uh I don't know that guy's a stud man but I understand not liking him anyways underrated bowling I recently found out I have

a spine problem I've spine problem so I had to quit softball and flag football the good thing I was at high school um the I was good at I guess the sport I was good at a lot of people fucking up this week the sport the sports I was good at

high school in high school but not that good starter kid you left out a couple of words in that thing buddy anyways my brother turned me on to bowling leagues and it's way better than I ever gave it credit for it's competitive you win a little money and if you suck ass you can walk

ten feet to the bar and get lit slash win-win thanks go fuck yourself absolutely bowling's the shit um but I will tell you I would definitely go to a chiropractor and I would get a great masseuse

and maybe they can work out a lot of your back stuff because uh you know if you're gonna go from active shit to something inactive like that and add alcohol you're gonna put on weight which is not gonna be good for you certainly your lower back you can be walking around like you're in your third trimester and you never given birth you know what I mean

terminal pregnancy a fucking booze and pizza alright everybody that is the um that is the podcast for this week alright always listen to your gut go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday go Bruins

go Celtics go fuck yourselves this is from now for recipes that are delicious, easy and cheap for those of you who like something different or like classics oh yeah that was a spaghetti bolognese with a lot of meat download the mythe leise app and cook with yeah great

the leise, along with the bread