Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 4-30-18

Episode Date: May 2, 2018

Bill rambles about Talladega, First Class, and coyotes.

Hey what's going on it's Bill Byrnes time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday. Fuck in April 30th 2018 what's going on how are you I'm still sick I just I've just every time I start to get healthy I travel again so I actually had to reschedule a gig something I've never I don't can't remember the last time I did that so because I just need to fucking stay home and I'm just having coffin fits I'm having an absolute fucking fit at night like my throat sounds like this I still got the sniffles and maybe I got a bola you know but I'm kind of alright I cough a little bit during the day but the second

I lay down at night I told some my throat gets all dry and I just have this fit now I'm saying this to you guys because all of you now without medical degrees are now leaping to your feet and you know exactly what's wrong with me and what the cure is and that's my favorite thing about being sick I like to not go to doctors I like to talk to people who have talked to doctors or went on Web MD and then they fucking diagnosed me so I just think I need to shut it down for a couple of fucking days and not do anything is what I need to do but I'm here for you I'm doing the fucking podcast I want to thank

everybody that came out to in hot Lana to the show at the Fox Theater I know I sounded like shit but I think I had a good show and then the next day like an asshole rather than just being like Bill you're sick you know don't do the planned fun event and just go home and sleep it off I couldn't lay off man I went to the Talladega Super fucking Speedway and I went to that NASCAR race out there man and just had a great great time legendary legendary track that's where they always have the big one the big one's coming you don't know when it's coming all you know all you really know is that it's coming the big one is

just they can drive so goddamn fast there that eventually you know and they're right on each other's bumpers eventually all it takes is somebody to do a little shimmy little shimmy sham shimmy shimmy shake whatever the fucking is shaking bake choking on my own spit I do a little Ricky Bobby shit little Brewster Baker little stroke a race trying to think of all the star-carb movies I saw sorry breathing too many fumes and then they just have like a giant fucking crash there so you know the deal you know as Tony Stewart said we came we come there for the accidents I don't see anybody died but I want to see shit fly through

the fucking air so we were in this suite then we watched like the first couple legs of the race and then I was just like dude I want to go outside and I want to fucking you know I want to hear the cars and all that shit so we went the upper deck which is the shit because you can see the whole goddamn track and then we were like let's go down low because it was more seats and we went down there and it's that whole thing it's like 40 fucking cars go by at like you know 180 190 200 miles an hour and all you're thinking is if if they got if they have the big one right not right in front of me because by the time everything you

know settles it's gonna be fucking two miles down I'm a quarter mile down the fucking track it's like if it happens right before me there is a chance I could take a lug lug nut to the side of my head and I'll be fucking dead you know but it is amazing I gotta tell you and the people down there were fucking great I've always been a fan of fucking Alabama it's a beautiful goddamn state but I will tell you this not to get negative and shit just in general there is a level of fucking poverty that you just cannot fucking but like some of the people some I just I remember a long time ago Patrice O'Neill told me this

thing was fucking hilarious he said you know something Bill he goes black people we are good at being broke and I go we talking about he goes look at us he goes we had we are the cleanest motherfuckers on the earth you wouldn't know that we're broke even if we are broke but I'm gonna tell you something about white people when a white person is broke you fucking know it and that's what I was thinking about as I always do I always think of shit that he said and I just was looking at these fucking people man something not all of them but just I was there's been a few when I've been traveling there's been a few times

where I've seen little kids and I've had the urge to rescue them you know but time you looking at the adults you like it's too late for you know I've seen that in inner cities I saw it in India and I saw it in Alabama Talladega not everybody I'm not saying everybody but there was definitely some fucking people I was like that kid if you get him out of this environment he has he's got fucking hope Jesus Christ I owe you know something when you hear that shit white privilege and stuff you can say that to me but I always like after going to that race I was wondering what those people think you know because the bus

definitely skipped their stop and I'm not talking down on these people because I fucking ate out people up north and people on the coast and everything they got this fucking attitude like you know if you're white and you're broke it's cuz you're dumb and that's just ignorant cuz you haven't fucking traveled but having said that there was a disturbing amount of Confederate flags that I saw but like I don't know I don't I don't I don't I don't get that aspect of it but the other shit I'm just talking about feet coming out of the side of your fucking sneakers I don't know it was it was it was it was it was interesting

it definitely as a fellow American I was like you know we really should be doing something about this can we try to help these fucking people out now I know Trump said he was gonna do it he was gonna make it great again I could tell you right now that I didn't see a lot of greatness there oh shit why do why do I talk about things why do I see things and then talk about things you know what cuz that's what I do I didn't talk to you know I actually talked to a lot of people when I was there I had a you know a good time but there was definitely a few people that just had to take pictures of you

know but I'm not gonna post them just because you know I don't I don't want to further any sort of fucking stereotypes and the people in NASCAR treated me great but there's definitely I saw this fucking guy he had on overall shorts is the only way to describe it and Larry Bird short shorts and the whole thing was the American flag and cowboy boots with no shirt underneath it shaved head and sunglasses you know he looked like Rob Halford on the 4th of July is the only way to describe it and he was standing next to a guy and just fucking looking like he walked out of a coal mine and it was fucking just some old

school shit and people just smoking like chimneys like a lot of people smoking down there and it reminded me of when I was a kid like the level that people were smoking but having said that there was also a bunch of other people that look fine I'm just saying but there was definitely some people you're just like god damn that guy is fucking broke you know how are you Hawaii and you're that broke what they're saying out there is that's not supposed to happen you're supposed to just fucking wake up you know then every all the doors are supposed to swing open for you with your Hawaii privilege well that happened for me

people it did not happen for those people you know I you know what I think a lot of it goes back to I think it goes back to the Civil War when you lose a fucking war like that they're the repercussions of that you deal with that for a long fucking time and you know I knew some people that relocated from the north down to the south back in the 80s some friends of mine their parents moved to whatever and I just remember them call me up and they're going dude I'm learning shit in school right now that I learned fucking two years ago up north this is fucking ridiculous no fucking reason for that there is no

reason for that so I don't know did I mention the race was fucking awesome I was just a little taken aback by shit like that you know you like to see that you don't like to see that anyway right I don't like seeing people struggling you know not having the answers walking around in jean shorts but anyways great fucking food at the track Jesus Christ it was delicious food had this barbecued fucking something or other the coleslaw on it and everything was absolutely delicious and and I love the track legendary track and then I love the fucking the bleachers it was just no frills no bullshit you know look like an

old football stadium well it's just like we're just building fucking seats that's it no fucking sushi stands and under that crap it's definitely a good time I hope that didn't come off like some elitist Yankee thing anyways plowing ahead now now we're going to get into my elitist attitude for the week now this is something that everybody's gonna be like first world problem and all that I have I have a fucking problem with Delta Airlines all right these fucking assholes for whatever reason they board first-class and their premium select whatever they call them their fucking medallion members at the same fucking

time you know all these widget salesmen that fly every fucking weekend it's like I spent 20 years in the back of the fucking plane with the stress of the back of the plane like fuck I need to line up an hour before the flight so I get on early enough so there's going to be a place for my fucking bag and was this a DC 9 am I is the engine right outside my window and a parts gonna fly off into my fucking head am I next to the bathroom I'm gonna smell the piss and shit of the fucking working class I spent 20 years in the back of that fucking plane and they kept us back there and we didn't get on until first class got on

and we were not allowed past that fucking curtain that was their fucking bathroom I did every goddamn hell gig I had shit thrown at me I got booed I got fucked out of money and I moved up the rose I got up to the exit row I got all the way up there now I can finally afford to sit up front right I don't give a fuck that they're like anybody with a limp or a yeast infection anybody active military even if you never saw action even if all you do is counter grenades rather than fucking throw them you can get on first I don't give a you got a stroller and a kid you're old in a wheelchair and a fucking problem with

that these fucking assholes they take all their frequent flyers and then these fucking fucking cunts all right they line up like a half hour before so I'm like where's the first class line they go it's right here I look back I'm like 40th and fucking line and now I got the anxiety again that's not that is not first class first class is you walk on without a fucking care in the world that's what I paid for I walk on without a care in the world and you pretend that I'm better than the people behind me that is what I'm paying for and that is not the experience you get on Delta Airlines all of these fucking people

just fucking why can't you just board first class in two seconds later have those fucking premium cunts they line up like a half hour before now I got to stand up I don't even use frequent flyers I pay full price for the fucking ticket because I can't figure out how to do the fucking I don't even want to figure out you know how many fucking miles I have with you assholes what is the ticket price here you go the way a guy shops I'm not waiting for the sale I need pants those are pants what are they here this is give them to me so I fucking get on the plane and I get on the plane and all the first class fucking

bins are taken I see one one that's like fucking two rows behind me and I feel that that fucking anxiety that fucking anxiety that gave me the drive to get up to the front of the fucking plane and then I'm sitting there right I finally fucking sit out on all of this shit right and I know you guys are like Bill quit your fucking wine and fuck you is what I say I'll say it again fuck you alright don't call it fucking first class and don't charge me for first I want a first-class experience you know some of you people sit in the back of the plane let's say you went on Wheel of Fortune and you solved the fucking

puzzle all right and they said that they were gonna give you first-class accommodations in Laughlin Nevada all right well if you came walking into the hotel and you didn't get to go to VIP check-in you still just stand in line with all these flip-flop wearing fucking overeating jackasses is that the first-class experience you know what I mean they treated me like a $3 whore you get a $3 whore you're expecting a certain level of attitude but when you get a $1,200 to $2,000 fucking call girl she's supposed to pretend you're interesting and your stories are fascinating that you're paying for the

experience I'm just letting you know that experience does not exist on Delta Airlines you're gonna get on the fucking plane with the first-class seat that you fucking paid for with 40 other fucking people in front of you with their neck braces and their fucking and got all this the accoutrements they need because those poor bastards are still sitting in the back of the plane well I paid good money I paid good goddamn money for the fantasy that I am above those people and I did not get that and I hope Mr. and Mrs. Delta Airlines hear this fucking thing and I hope I hope they try to come at me with some sort of

voucher some sort of gift certificate for a brownie Sunday the next time I go back to the Atlanta Jackson fucking airport this is the thing all this fucking waving in my arms they're not gonna fucking change it they're not gonna change it and I'm still gonna fly their fucking airline when I have to because I don't have it I don't have any low I'm basically an American Airlines guy you know an American Airlines when you fly first-class you just you get on with the first-class people you sit down you fucking fine and you know what you are you're an inspiration you're an inspiration to the rest of those

passions there's passengers that walk past you on American Airlines they're looking at you going look at that sickly bald looking redheaded guy if I work hard enough someday I'll be him getting on the plane without a care in the fucking world you fly Delta Airlines you're getting on with those same fucking people you know those people that are so fat they got the crease in the back like a toddler you know toddlers have those cute rolls of fat you know what I mean there's a certain level of fat that you get to you should literally have your arms up you know the way a little baby walks why am I attacking fat people you

know that I just I've traveled I didn't know how many fucking miles I traveled but let's put it this way when I saw that George Clooney movie where he was trying to get a million miles I wasn't impressed all right what that man was doing was pedestrian oh and then you met the woman you found out later she was married welcome to the fucking road buddy am I supposed to feel bad for you with your full head of beautiful salt and pepper fucking hair hang on a sec your villain in the in fucking Italy am I stalking him all right I want his life anyways I just don't like that Delta has put me in the position to expose

myself for the elitist cunt that I am all right I'm not saying that I'm better than the people in the back of the plane what I'm saying is is I got paid to be treated better than them and I don't want to be lumped in with all these fucking contest winners all these fucking widget salesman that fly your goddamn airline every fucking fucking weekend so that now this down they they bored what the fuck did they pay for that ticket 300 bucks you getting on with me how dare you put me in that position Delta misses and misses Delta Airlines they should I should have got a fucking discount on my time I just wish there was a fucking

phone number that you could call and actually talk to a person and I could just be like the biggest asshole ever when I get on your airline I do not even want to see people beyond the other side occurred during the fucking flight like people just waltzing right up just using the fucking bat everybody gets a fucking ribbon now everybody's in first place the fuck out of here get out of here with your economy economy seating shits you take those in the back buddy you take that in the back I don't want to listen to your fucking Cinnabon farts up here okay this is first-class we have silverware

no I don't give a shit if used about I don't give a fuck about any of it the only thing I fucking want is what I'm paying for is you go first-class and I just mosey under the fucking plane and stick my bag right above my chair and I sit in a chair that's actually fit to be used by a human being that's all I'm fucking paid for I don't give a fuck about your meals and all of that other bullshit and that you call me mr. Burr and ask in fact you can take my fucking hoodie and go hang it up I don't give a fuck about all of that I'm paying for no anxiety like it is it's the bin gonna be there all of that is supposed to be

gone you know it's like when in the lottery that's what flying first-class is you fly this is the thing about for you fly first-class you don't want the flight to end that's how great first-class is supposed to be Delta has somehow lost they forgot what the fuck it was you know what I mean you know what I blame all of this on you know what I blame all of this shit on fucking dressed casual Fridays casual Fridays fucking ended it it fucking ended it in this goddamn country I'm old enough to remember when all of a sudden casual Fridays it's how old I am I remember when that shit came out and somebody I was

working in the warehouse and somebody from the carpeted area just started working there you know what I mean that was during this is the 80s this is like the Michael J. Fox era so you know what I mean you got yourself a skinny tie and a fucking cubicle you bought a Ford probe you know whatever the fuck they used to call those fucking cars you got like a Subaru you know and this fucking little Michael J. Fox guy goes what's what's what's casual Fridays and I made the joke I go oh that's when everybody dresses like us basically like you're unloading a truck I remember my boss got upset by that try to have some big

fucking meeting about it and Mr. Burr said that that's when everybody drives dresses like us and that's stuck with me and I feel like we should have more pride out here in the warehouse and fucking bubba and you just he had a bunch of fucking hungover musicians and class clowns working out there we're just staring at this guy going dude we're showing up like we always show up okay if you think we're gonna fucking show up like it's the 1950s and we work in an ice cream parlor to go unload trucks that's not happening so that failed but yeah everything has just become like everybody's just fucking

down to earth now sort of as the middle-class shrinks I don't understand it okay do you know back in the day when you flew first this is how far we fucking come when you flew first class on Pan Am and you flew into JFK international airport back before every airport said they were international you know what I mean that's like every fucking podcast out there claims they have like a million fucking downloads or the number one in something you know what I mean every fucking airport now says they're international well you know you connect from our airport to an actual international airport next thing

you know you're in Europe so I think we're international that's like the second assistant hockey the fuck out of his second assist you knew that fucking guy was gonna pass it to the other guy you get a point to fuck my train of thought what was my point oh back in the day the MetLife building in New York right above Grand Central Station used to be the Pan Am building well back in the day when you flew first class in Pan Am you landed at JFK you got off that fucking plane from up top where there was a guy playing a goddamn piano okay you're up there the summer wind came blowing in won't you sock my dick right

this is nothing to people go well what happened all the good-looking stewardess and all that because there's no money they deregulated the whole fucking thing and then every fucking jerk off with flip-flops could use the first-class bathroom and then all those good-looking women are like well there's nobody to gold dig on this thing I'm fucking out of here that's what happened okay you take the money the money goes out the window so does all the beautiful women it's like a vacuum they get sucked right the fuck out now everybody on the flight looks like fucking Alice from the Brady bunch oh god oh drinking this fucking cold and

flew herbal shot oh god it's got to be the dandelions or some shit oh my god that's better anyways I'm sorting on the finish this fucking story when you flew first-class on Pan Am to JFK International Airport when you got off that fucking plane you didn't go into the airport with those animals you didn't you got off that fucking thing and they walked you over to a fucking helicopter okay and you're like Ron Burgundy you know with a scarf around your neck and you have glass of scotch you fucking walked over to that thing you got on that they flew you from Brooklyn right up and over all the traffic landed you on top

of the Pan Am building and you know what was up there there was a bar beautiful women rich people and all this shit you got off into that world and you had another scotch you talked to some women or whatever right well you made a fucking business connection and then when you were ready to go somebody took your bags you went down in the elevator right into a fucking cab over to your goddamn hotel and probably somebody to put a little fucking eight ball in your breastcoat pocket we've gone from that to what I experienced in Atlanta on Mr. and Mrs. Delta Airlines okay I missed it I missed my window of when

first-class was first-class that you sometimes you just got to admit that you missed it like I feel bad for Millennials like when I look at all this shit that they're going through and all these climate change and all this crap that they got to have to fucking deal with the ramifications of I look back you know as I'm dealing with turn in 50 I'm like you know what it's kind of cool that I got to live through the 70s 80s and 90s you know and I think you know now when I look at people in their 60s 70s and 80s and I'm thinking like you know what that guy right there that guy probably got his dick sucked on a

helicopter ride from JFK over to the top of the Pan Am building that guy knows what first-class is all right I don't want to hear it I don't want to hear it from you people in the back of the plane what a spoiled brat I am I don't give a fuck I am so beyond you that I won't even read your emails I can tell by the font that you sit in the back of the plane where you belong no kidding I'm just saying you don't know me what the fuck can I just get on the fucking plane all I'm asking for I don't need a helicopter ride I don't need a fucking handjob can I just get on the fucking plane in a relaxed manner just put my

bag up there that's the fuck I paid for okay and then you can come to me and be like do you you want the eggs or the oatmeal can I get the eggs I'm sorry we're all out of eggs that happens in first-class what do you mean you're out of eggs it's first-class sorry my voice is cracking it's first fucking class you should still have them hang on a second let me take another shot of fucking dandelion root oh I'm starting to like that reminds me when I did the landscape before fucking one summer all right Indochino talk about how every man looks better in a suit oh yeah every man

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giant line of blow I like it nothing summed up to 70s in the 80s like that quick little joke all right hockey playoffs the Bruits jumped all over Tampa Bay in game one to go up one nothing once again our top line was absolutely killing it Tuka Ross was playing fucking great Nebraska whatever I don't know half the guys fucking names were like when I'm in the other room and somebody scores a lot of the time I have to poke my head to see who it is because we changed so many players this this season with the kid I probably watch five full games and anyways and then game two Tampa was

just a better team they just came out like they were ready to play and we just I don't know every time we had the puck it was like it was on edge and so whatever it's one to one but we did what we had to do we won one down there and now we're coming back and I hope we get up a more competent officiating crew because those guys were just it was like they were off and whatever they made some fucking bad calls but that happens sometimes the calls go your way sometimes they don't you know whine about it you pick up and move on but you know when the fucking net is off the goddamn moorings whatever the fuck they

call it and the goalies like dude dude hey buddy buddy ref over here for like half a fucking minute they just don't see it like they that was not ready for prime time officiating you know I just hope it I just don't want it to come down to that because I think the Tampa's a great team and I want I want to see Tampa beat us or the Bruins beat them I just you know that is a pet peeve of mine that you know you start calling tiki-tack shit and you start like you know dictating the tone of the game and then all of a sudden you stop calling tiki-tack shit it's just weird you know what I mean and then you're letting shit

go and then all of a sudden you're calling stuff I mean that's the type of shit you know back in the day when I used to watch the NBA was like what the fuck you know the shit is fixed speaking of the NBA I was working Saturday night and missed everything about that Celtics game 7 against Milwaukee I have not even seen a highlight I am very happy that we won I heard we kind of wanted you know wire-to-wire and and then last night the weirdest thing ever like this Boston Celtics had a fucking playoff game while the Bruins had a playoff game and we beat the the formidable Philadelphia 76ers when is that next

game and I can't right last time I think we played each other in the playoffs I have to go back to like 82 81 82 83 way back in the day alright game 2 is when Thursday well I hope that's not gonna overlap with the Bruins the fuck am I supposed to do I want to see this the overachieving Celtics with all the goddamn injuries this is tremendous and my picks in the NBA finals before it started and you can check with the great and always lovely Darmira that's what I've always loved about his act it's not the top shelf joke writing it's the elegance of his performance I asked me what I thought and I picked Toronto in

the East in Golden State because I figured Golden State of Cleveland what gonna one of them is gonna make it back and I don't know I'm just impressed with Toronto it's got a lot of weapons and shit and blah blah blah blah and like LeBron is played like the equivalent of 60 years with all the fucking playoffs that that guy's been involved in so anyways those are those are my goddamn picks and as far as hockey goes I don't know it's hard to go against the penguins getting back there again but I think the most interesting series right now is obviously the Predators in Winnipeg Jets I would not want to have to play either

one of them and I'm psyched one of them is gonna knock the other one off all right there's my limited fucking view of what the fucks going on all right punk suggestions the fuck did you call me all right I was listening to your podcast and you asked someone for suggestions on hardcore punk music I thought I'd try and email you from here I would start with bands like minor threat I've heard of them fugazi I've heard of them the X never heard of them bad brains of course I've heard of them he wrote of course negative approach parentheses pretty aggressive death from Detroit these are a few good starters I hope this message reaches you

and you enjoy all right I'll check those out I'm still trying to get into fish everybody damn it quite grab me all right bullshit guy needing ar-15 to defend against coyotes oh my god he's in the middle of fucking nowhere he's making you cheese hey sir billiam cunt I'm calling bullshit on the guy who wrote and claiming he needs an ar-15 to protect his goats from coyotes all right all right okay well I hope you're a gun owner and a fucking rancher I grew up in a rural town in New Mexico all right I wasn't a parmesan cheese rancher but we had two sheep dogs in a den of coyotes living directly behind our house to this day every night you could hear the coyotes howling the guy doesn't need a machine gun he needs more than one

dog oh shit shots fire seems like common sense honestly there are breeds of dogs that have been bred for centuries to protect sheep from wolves well that is true and they didn't have machine guns back then well how does like uh one sheep are two sheep dogs fend off a herd of coyotes you know what that sounds like that sounds like the sheep dogs are playing basketball and the coyotes are doing some and one shit they need to have a fucking team game and they got to feed that big man under the fucking rack and quit putting up threes with no one nobody underneath all right wait a second uh there are breeds of dogs that have been bred for centuries to protect sheep from wolves coyotes are pussies compared to wolves a few times when I was a kid I was less

than 15 feet from an adult coyote and it just ran away coyotes are also a lot smaller than wolves claiming coyotes hunt impacts of 7 to 12 seems like an exaggeration I don't like that word seems that seems to me like you don't know but it just sounds like bullshit to you anyways the most bad as thing I've ever seen a dog do was when my neighbor's psycho dog chased away a coyote that came near his turf my neighbor had this crazy ugly mutt named butch butch was the kind of dog where if the football or baseball went over the fence into butcher's yard the ball was gone one day when I was a teenager and I was walking up the road and there was a coyote walking near me I wasn't scared because the coyote was just mining his own business any fucking wild wild

animals have a different look on their face okay they're killers you know it's like hookers you know there's a different look at when a hooker looks at you it's real all right they're not fucking just trying to get a drink out of you then I see butch jump over this five foot wall and land in a dead sprint quote oh Jesus this is going to be good I thought he be lined straight for the coyote and without any hesitation or fear hit the coyote like Walter Peyton on cocaine it definitely would have been on sports centers top 10 or some youtube video hardest hits in the NFL I love that you went with Walter Peyton he was one of the most aggressive offensive players Larry Zonko was the first offensive player to get an unnecessary

roughness call he was on his way out of bounds and someone went to hit him and he just gave the guy a forearm shiver to the face then butch and the coyote got into a scrappy ghetto street fight and eventually the coyote ran away this all happened within 10 yards of where I was standing well that was just one and it sounds like the coyote fucking threw some hands too though dogs are badass they can recognize threats to step up with no fear they also used to be wolves they're like wolf wolf light right um I'm not saying it's a good light beard it's more like bush light surely this guy can find some large dogs who have instincts to protect some goats rather than resort to a military machine gun shooting coyotes for sport is douchey my uncle has an

what Anatolian shepherd okay and it was apparently bred for guarding livestock massive dog have a good summer and go fuck yourself well what's the overhead what's the overhead on the dog Jesus fucking christ look at that goddamn thing the males weigh from 50 to 65 kilograms which is 110 to 143 pounds females are 40 to 55 kilograms that's 88 to 121 pounds uh they're like 32 inches 29 to 32 inches high 28 to 31 inches high Jesus Christ that's a big ass goddamn dog let's look at the coyotes the tail of the tape here coyote stats this is going to take me to the phoenix coyotes coyote animal wikipedia let's see what you got here

actual coyote or a man no coyote attacks on humans attacks generally identify the animal in question as simply coyote uh what the eastern coyote eastern coyote here we go let's see what they they don't even have their stats i don't like that that's like when a movie goes to the theaters without being reviewed the eastern coyotes is a wild north american canine of mixed coyote wolf and dog parentage parentage that is present in new england new york new jersey pennsylvania hi all those fucking places um so they're basically like stray dogs that then got fucked by wolves is that what happened that didn't get killed all right okay i don't care anymore

all right well you know some people you got 150 pound fucking dog i mean what do you got to feed that thing every day how much of bullets i mean i don't know if it's like uh i don't know hey the guy who wrote in with the parmesan cheese farm and feta cheese uh let me know what do you think about what this guy's saying i mean as far as i'm concerned what the fuck he just said you got swiss cheese on your farm now buddy you got a bunch of holes in your argument please write back all right cops use dna to i can't say this word genealogy website genealogy genealogy all right let's look this up g-e-n-e-a-l-o-g-y pronunciation i love this this is just for dumb fucking people how to pronounce genealogy does it here we go genealogy

genealogy a lot what do you say genealogy one more time hey i love how they say it like five times genealogy genealogy genealogy like like why didn't you just pick a man or a woman you know like i can't hear it oh now that that lady said it now i now i know how to say it oh what if a woman's listening well i i can't understand it unless a woman says it genealogy cops use dna to genealogy website to website what that does okay hey oh billy bald con i just read the police caught the golden state killer using dna obtained from genealogy genealogy genealogy website one of those

dna slash genealogy genealogy genealogy websites that's going to make our robot replacements the dna website responded by saying while in the while in while the database was created for genealogical research it is important that g-e-d match well people who didn't fucking graduate high school participants understand the possible use of their dna including identification of relatives that may have committed crimes or were victims of crimes i know you're no legal analyst but i wanted to get your thoughts on this by the way loved you on crashing also come do a show in main for fox sex yeah i'm due to go up there have a nice day and go fuck yourself um i don't think you can get mad at uh the fact that they caught a serial

killer if that's if they got the right guy um and you know what it was was it actually wasn't that guy from what i heard was it was a relative and it was close enough and then they just narrowed it down into that gene pool and they judged that guy by his age they staked out his fucking house and then they got like a soda can out of his garbage and got his fucking dna and they nailed him um yeah it's one of those things where this could be a great thing and you could get rid of it's it's all how it's applied and um human beings do not have a great track record of doing the right thing we are all susceptible to the seven deadly sins we are horribly flawed organisms and then when you combine racism sexism homophobia uh greed ego and all of that shit uh yeah like i

don't know what could happen but i mean i mean i'm all for this this fucking guy and he's like 71 i still feel like he kind of got away with it but um you know just for the victims that are still alive or family members knowing that they got this guy and he's gonna fucking rot in jail for the rest of his fucking piece of shit life i think is a good thing um oh my god it just came up with an idea for a movie a serial killer kills all his relatives before they go on to fucking a genealogy website genealogy website genealogy website it's a comedy you know they're going to find out that he's the fucking jet ski killer or some shit i don't know and then he's he's got to be like you know and he never goes to social events within the family he's always

been a loner all of a sudden he starts showing up to all the christmas parties and he's asking questions in every party somebody dies so he's got like 10 family members and you know the first one he kills at thanksgiving maybe halloween then thanksgiving then christmas then there's like a fucking graduation i don't know he just flag day he takes out his fucking uncle um and then the local cops you know they've never seen anything like that they they're in a quiet town to use that trope and all of a sudden there's his family members they're all dying you know and then everybody feels bad for the fucking loner because he's losing all his family members and then finally one day the fucking you know upstart you know you got the fucking old sheriff you know he's

eating everything god i'm too old for this shit and then you got the upstart i don't fucking you finish the fucking movie you finish the fucking movie i don't have time for that shit all right black republicans everybody dear mr burr i very much enjoyed your show at the fox in alana i went with my wife parents and in-laws thank you for your laughs and perspectives well thank you would you mind sharing your thoughts on kanye's recent comments and the backlash from hollywood and democratic elites uh why do they always say elites there's republican elites too i myself am a black republican who changed parties after the first clinton administration for a great many reasons it's a bit unnerving hearing people cringe over the idea of a black republican and it is disrespectful to

marginalize my opinions and articulations because of my affiliations it's very telling that people defend who defended kanye and championed him when he attacked george bush are now casting him aside because he does not agree with their group thing thank you for your service and go fuck yourself um yeah i mean i there's this whole thing with liberals that they feel like all racists are republicans and then they also aren't aware of their own fucking racist thoughts prejudice thoughts and fucked up if you really pay attention to your thoughts the information your brain is going to give you during the course of a fucking day you're going to think sexist shit homophobic shit racist you're just going to think shit that if you said it out loud i've always

said that if everybody's thoughts were made public could anybody go to work on monday would you have a fucking job and you wouldn't so um on the other side the fact that trump didn't tweet once during black history month said nothing as far as i'm aware of on the 50th anniversary of martin luther king the fact that he fucking uh could kind of see both sides with neo nazis and people who didn't like neo nazis said you know both sides are violent um i uh i can i understand that level of backlash i don't understand people that just feel that their party is just completely unflod i don't understand that um having said that i think kanya just has an album coming out and mtv doesn't exist anymore and um that people at his level they create controversies as a way to

get free promotion that's what i think i don't i don't take it seriously and nor do i give a shit what his political affiliation is i don't i don't care and i don't care that you're good for i get it you know a lot of people become republican when they make money and then they realize how much money you have to fucking give away and fucking taxes um if you actually have the audacity to become successful and then all of a sudden you have to fucking you know you have to pay for everybody else which i'm all for helping people out but my thing is if you're sitting around not doing shit you know i told you a long time ago i you know this person in my life was kept hitting me up for money and i finally had to say the guy just be like listen to if you're in a hole

and you're reaching up i will pull you out of it but if you're faced down in it digging it deeper every fucking day i mean what am i supposed to do i'm throwing money into that you know you want to keep doing fucking drugs and i'm also supposed to give you money get get your fucking life together and help yourself out and i'll help you out you know so i i see you know i see all sides of the shit you know and sometimes i land you know it's funny out here in hollywood people think you know someone was telling me said people think you voted for trump which i i didn't um i i kind of see like uh i don't know i think it's it's really a situation to situation decision you know i mean sometimes you punt sometimes you go for it on fourth down you know that

which depends on where you are in the field like you got you have to look at it that way you can't just a hundred percent we're going for it every fucking time or we're kicking it away every fucking time um so i i you know i'm old school where i respect the i'm just happy sir that you're voting that you're politically active in your fucking paying attention that's a lot more than i can say for myself so god bless you um but as far as khanye all of a sudden becoming republican i don't buy it because i'm in show business and that looks like a big fucking that looks like wrestling when all of a sudden the hulk became the bad guy and then eventually he's gonna be shaking the blonde hair wearing the fucking orange and yellow panties again you know all right girlfriend

wants to have sex before marriage trunks i should say uh dear mr burr i'm 16 years old still going through high school i have a little problem with my relationship i'm having with this girl i met but here's a little backstory about a okay about a year ago one of my friends got a girl pregnant and let's just say during that time my friend went through some hard time knowing he was going to be a father to the point he tried to kill himself but failed you know jesus christ this guy can't get anything right he can't put a condom on right he can't fucking off himself two days after his attempt he found out that the baby didn't make it uh ending up in a miscarriage wow after seeing what my friend went through i decided i was going to wait till at least 18 to have sex because i don't

want to be like my idiot friend well dude you don't want to become a dad at 18 either uh wear a fucking condom all right but here's the story about me it's a story about me and the girl i'm at our work and we've been dating for about six months now and i know what you're going to hear me say next like i really like her and all that bullshit but get to the point all right anyways the screen goes black anyway she wants to have sex even though i told her i'm planning to wait after i told her that she gave me that look three days later she tried to pressure me into it i kept saying no well you're learning one of the great fucking secrets about women is uh you whatever the fuck you want them to do say you want to do the exact opposite you know what

i mean and then they will fucking it's it's unbelievable it's like a fucking cat who used to do the gallery used to do that fucking bit you know you call a cat it just for fucking doesn't come at you you blow it off and it's fucking walking towards you um anyways then she went so far as to cry and sob about me not wanting to have sex with her also i like the idea of casual sex but i want to experience love sex also i think this girl lied to me to try to get down my pants what do you think a lie to you about what burr balls uh and stick your dick up your asshole aka go fuck yourself um you're kind of all over your the map here and you also left out a lot of sentences she lied to you like i don't know i just do what the fuck you want to do if what happened to your

friend had such a psychological effect on you that you don't want to have sex don't have sex with this person that's it and women cry and sob all the fucking time to try to get their fucking way it's bullshit okay unless you slugged them in the arm i don't know what the fuck they're crying about you know what i mean you're crying crying i could see if you're upset if you're depressed but you're crying here's the thing don't do this but this is what i do because i've said that to women like you're crying over this how old are you watch how quickly the tears stop and they immediately switch to fucking anger you know i mean their ability how fast they can stop crying and then fucking start yelling at you like going back to whenever i cried when i was a kid i mean

i couldn't just stop that you know i'd be like fuck you and i would still be crying they immediately just stop fucking crying bam so here's the deal to you're actually what you're doing to this woman is you're actually you know like when you play a video game one of those fighting video games you don't know what you're doing you just push a button bunch of buttons and all of a sudden you your guy does something special and you but you don't know how the fuck you did it that's what you're doing with this you know this is completely role reversed she's crying like because you're not going to fuck her like you're something like you're in a boy band like you through acting the complete opposite way as of every other guy has so mind fucked her that she's acting you're getting treated

like you're fucking justin beaver or some shit um yeah she's making this all about herself she feels fucking rejected because this is the thing women know the power that they have over us and the fact that you at the height of how you're at the height of where you should not be able to walk away from it or walking away from it is fucking with her in her level of uh i don't know power you know i would think this is also i'm really fucking stupid and don't know shit about women but sometimes i do you know remember that mel Gibson movie where he was a conspiracy theorist he threw out all these crazy ones but every once in a while he was right that's how i am with women every once in a while i'm fucking right so what i will tell you this though what i do know is you should do

what the fuck you want to do all right and um yeah i believe hoody and the blowfish said it best when they said let her cry remember that song later cry and when the sun comes out tomorrow let it rain whatever the fuck you said how smart was darious rucker when he got out of that fucking band that was like when the fucking road runner just steps off the rock before it fucking crashes to the ground and somehow he doesn't take the impact you know now he does the country thing right uh anyways that's the podcast everybody um i i have some work to do today and then i am just shutting this fucking down i'm not gonna fucking do anything for like three four days i have to get past this goddamn cough um i'm coming up on two weeks with this and i i don't want to

i don't want to you know i've never had pneumonia and i don't want to fucking get it you know because then every time you get that's like every time once you get frostbite you know every time you open the refrigerator your fucking toes start tingling i don't want to deal with that for the rest of my life all right that's the podcast i'll check in on you on thursday i apologize that it was late but um you know i was you know i'm fighting this fucking thing off i'm fighting a good fight here everybody all right i'll uh check in on you on thursday go fuck yourself