Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 5-10-21

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

Bill rambles about an episode of Dateline, governments, and performative justice warriors.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast from Monday May 10th 2021. What's going on? How are you? How are you everybody? I hope you're doing good. I'm doing fucking great I'm feeling great man. I'm fucking I'm flying on this simulator every day Doing ILS approaches Having a great I can't believe I fucking know how to do it. You know, I'm getting better at it. I'm holding my altitude I'm tracking and intercepting courses Um I'm having a great fucking time

I'm actually kind of also get it learning how to fly a plane because they don't you have the helicopter one so I just been doing the plane one And uh, I'm starting to get it. It's kind of me like, you know, these things are pretty fucking cool and they also haul ash Compared to a helicopter Even the little ones they fucking, you know, they're fucking hauling ass Um, seems like a lot of fun, but I sat in a plane, uh, a little Cessna the other day and god damn it. You can't see shit Can't see a fucking thing. I mean compared to a helicopter. It's just you know

Helicopter it's like you're on a ferris wheel one of those little buckets just Class bucket you can see everything just something I enjoy that fucking I used to think they couldn't see because of the the the hood You know, but I got in I was like, no, there's all these fucking gauges and all of this trying to see overall Is I don't I don't know how they do it. I don't have to I'm gonna stick with helicopters But I've been having a great time with that getting ready for my exam whenever the hell I take that whenever my Instructor signs me off, but I've been looking at my flashcards for an hour in the morning

Before everybody gets up and then you know yesterday was uh mother's day Shout out to all the ladies out there You know who are moms, you know only them. Okay, and I only want to hear from moms I don't need fucking women who don't have kids telling me all of this You have these fucking broads out there who aren't even moms and they start wagging their finger. It's like I know what she did I was there Fucking you're talking about you haven't done anything What have you done with your vagina, huh?

Said we have it peeking out under that skirts could maybe get a goddamn drink for free. Is that what you're doing You're gonna come over here and talk to me an old bald orange man. I don't think so sorry, um Oh, I'll invent an argument I will I'll do it in a second so anyway, um My I think my wife had a great mother's day, you know, I was watching the kids all day I went out. I got her uh, I went down I tried to get her uh what she asked for for breakfast and we showed up because it was mother's day

There was a fucking line like two hours long Two hours, I asked the guy at the front. How long you wait here the guys that took me two hours That's like Jesus Christ. So I text my wife. I'm like, there's a two hour wait. She goes. Yeah, fuck that You know because my wife's cool. So I went somewhere else just got our breakfast burrito um Put my son down for a nap Played with my daughter did all of that stuff and uh, then my son woke up And I was just back and forth just running around

having an awesome time And my wife just wanted you know, she wanted to sleep She wanted to chill out. She wanted to watch the office And I did all that for the better part of the day right up until like five that she gave my son a bath Put him to bed because she's awesome um, so We'll see we'll see what happens for father's day You know because now I'm thinking like oh shit. Do I get to like fucking

Sleep and uh do all of that shit? Uh, you know because that'd be pretty fucking cool um Already know what I want to do There's a town out here. There's a town. I know where the hipsters go called bedrock twist twist, um There's a town out here in la and they have this fucking little area that I call the triangle of death That I want to go to on father's day There's a barbecue joint and right across the street. There's an old school ice cream parlor

And then when you come back across the street, there's a fucking cigar bar And I want to go bang bang boom Little barbecue fucking root beer float And then smoke a little fucking shorty, right? Or maybe a fucking fat stick whatever i'm feeling and then just my first one since february Which i'm kind of afraid to do because I don't know if I want to start that but up again

Um, that's what I want to do. I want to go bang bang boom You know I just want a fucking all I need is about three hours to make that happen You know To basically Live a life like you know, I actually have envy sometimes When I look at like people when they they just you know, like how jackie gleason lived his life I was talking to somebody about that

where you just like You know the doctor's like, hey, you know, you better ease off on the red meat. You know like nah I like steaks I'm here. I'm eating steaks and then one day when the steaks catch up with me and I fucking croak. That's it There is something to be said about that. I respect that as much as I respect you know calorie count and staying in shape And eating fucking at a mommy

You know when you're 90 Hey, that's what I always did. I don't lived all of them You know Yes, you did So you got to respect both those ways of living but uh, there is something every once in a while I'm not gonna lie to you. I'll watch my 600 pound life for something like that and I go, you know The last 300 pounds was sad, but those first 300 was a good fucking time You were having a fucking

Grand old time I'll tell you I ate like my 600 pound life this fucking weekend Took my wife out to dinner out by the way. I gotta I gotta promote something really quickly here. I keep forgetting to do this People do you know paul versey? I'm telling you right now. He is one of the best fucking comedians out there right now that guy Fucking murders Murders and he's I've been uh, I've been friends with him for about oh jesus christ since 2005 16 years all right

Love the kid to death and we've been doing a podcast called anything better that's available on youtube apple podcast Spotify and wherever else podcasts are available. Please listen and subscribe to it Um those you unfamiliar with paul versey you can go back. He was a guest on my podcast I think the first time my good lord I don't know how many years ago We were doing this run through canada I asked him what he'd do with the time machine and he said he'd go back to the revolutionary war and he'd bring an Uzi with him and single-handedly

Defeat the british and then turn to george washington and say you're welcome All right, that's the kind of person i'm dealing with uh, no he actually he's he's uh He's actually a very smart guy who understands How to live life You know, he was talking on the podcast the other day about how he loves eating lunch by himself And just chilling out and watching the breeze like moving the trees You know, and I just was thinking like god, I wish I could do that

I wish I could shut my brain off And do that you know what I mean It's everybody's running around Trying to go from one fucking social media platform to the next one Like a bunch of club kids back in the day in the meatpacking district You know, they just would they just go from club to club to club and it's all the same people But just with a different background and oh, this is the place this is this is the cool place This is where i'm gonna find happiness

You know, or you could just sit there eating a sandwich Enjoying nature and that's pretty uh It's pretty fucking deep, you know So, um, that's how we got the name of the podcast. He would say shit. Like is there anything better than chips with the sandwich? You know We still fucking laugh like you do you anything? Yeah, there's a lot things been and now I get it Paul Versey is here to remind us how to be happy And he's doing a podcast with one of the most miserable cunts ever myself. Oh, don't say that about yourself bill

um, so anyway, I went out to um We went out to dinner in uh, this italian restaurant called felix trattoria. I hope I said that right Um, and a long time ago. It seems like everything seems like a long time ago anything before There's a chef out there. Ethan funk And uh, there was this really cool documentary on him called funk f u n k e Um, he's a master chef and it was about him. He was going he went to italy And he was hanging out with all these Old women over there that have been making pasta by hand their whole life

And they actually have shapes That are dying off like almost like a language And he went over there to learn from them Because I guess a lot of the younger italians because you just go buy pasta and You know, I mean, I'm not I'm not shitting on younger italian people. Let me we used to churn butter out here We don't do it anymore, right? There's a lot of stuff we used to do That we don't do anymore. We used to pump. Oh, no, somebody used to pump your gas for you. What am I talking about? Um, anyway um

So this whole documentary is about the art of making pasta by hand hand rolled pasta and then the different shapes and actually why they are the shapes that they are and um My wife and I watched that documentary absolutely mesmerized And I think it was right before the pandemic and we was like, oh my god, we have to fucking go to that restaurant I have to taste what that pasta tastes like I mean if you're into food

I'm telling you you got to watch that documentary. So um Anyway We went there I took her out there on saturday night and had one of the great meals of my of my life First of all this bread, I don't want to ruin the experience if you're gonna go there and stuff So I don't want to say too much details, but this bread that came out Was like from another fucking world

And we got these flourette things. I don't know what the heck some I'm not the best remembering the names as thanks But it was just the appetizers were incredible. The pizza was fucking Unbelievable one of the best pizzas I've ever had and we just got the mark. Do we get a margarita? We get I think we had some some sort of pepperoni on it or something um And then we both got pasta dishes And the pasta dish that I got was a sausage dish And the pasta that came with it almost looked like those little

You know when Reese's peanut butter cups are like the minis it almost looked like that But they didn't have the ridges around the side And I remember the documentary like every pasta has a shape for a reason And as I was mixing this thing up That thing was scooping up all the flavors and a little bit of of the sausage and then as you as you Getting like I'm hungry right now as you put the fork in and everything you'd get all the other stuff that he had It these fucking tomatoes. I don't even know where you got these little tomatoes that were in there that it was just

heaven and I ate like a pig. I just I fucking ordered everything. I ordered a pork shoulder Once I saw pasta it said a second dairy or whatever. I'm like, well, I got to go full Italian and order the whole thing This pork shoulder was just out of this world and then like by the time By the time dessert came I was so stuffed Like I was just like we can't we're gonna have to do it next time and um They're like you got it you got it and then I don't know what happened all of a sudden the kitchen just set out

Come on. You got a like classic Italian. Right. Fuck you. You're still eating. Okay. I don't care how full you are They had this dessert It was like a pudding a butterscotch pudding with this cream on top And a little bit of salt in it and I have not had butterscotch pudding since when I was a kid And my mother used to buy those swiss mists They had the chocolate and they had the butterscotch and first I was all about the chocolate. I was like, wait a minute Wait a minute. This butterscotch is the shit And this was the gourmet version

of that And uh, I will tell you this I would come back to that restaurant just for that So it's called felix trattoria f-e-l-i-x-t-r-a-t-o-r-r-i-a. I'm sure I'm pronouncing it wrong But um, oh my god Was that an amazing meal and my wife ordered another pasta that was It was a uh, I think it was just lemon and pepper and it was just I just kept saying I I can't eat anymore and then another plate would come out and I was just like I have to try that

and then I would eat it and then I would just finish it off and um I'm recording on sundae that was last night I was so full I didn't eat till noon today And I wasn't feeling like I was fasting or anything. I was just so Full and satisfied When I left there that I didn't even give a fuck That we got stuck in this brutal traffic. There was some sort of accident, you know people always looking at their phones. Hopefully everybody was all right

um And I I basically I spent the whole weekend with my wife And uh, I only snapped One time and was I only thought it was a little bit, but she said no no that's still registered on the Richter scale um Like I actually gave two drivers shit, but I was funny about it

We pulled in and we were trying to go to some store. We had to get something from my mother-in-law for mother's day And as we pulled in this person, you know, I was waiting clearly waiting for the spot and somebody went around came around the other way And took my spot just a total fucking little dirtbag move And as she was sitting there, you know waiting to pull in I went by her and both our windows were down And as I went by I just went but I wanted it Right And the second I made the b sound of butt she jumped and I felt bad But I committed to it. I was like, oh man, I actually stood she goes you can have it

It's like no good So we pull up and now you know It's one of those parking garages that for whatever reason it has those numbers like there's 117 spots this way And you get there and you're still fighting for a fucking spot. I don't know where all those spots are But you're still fighting for a spot. So i'm pulling in And I see a spot opening up and there's this fucking jerk off trying to get into a parking spot And he's waiting and he can't do it. He can't do it Then he sees another one opening up and then he decides to wait for that one while blocking the one

Right And then and I had my window down and it was perfect because it echoed the second I could tell he was making that decision I just had the window down. I just went like Oh my god And I saw his head turned back and look at me and he took his foot off to break any fucking inch forward so I could get So I could get into the spot So now i'm thinking like oh fuck now this guy's gonna get out of the car. What the fuck's gonna happen

But he actually stayed in the car. He think he thought I think he thought I was a fucking lunatic which I am But i'm not like a violent person or whatever but Um, it worked. I didn't current and my wife laughed both times when I did it. She Like laughed almost like embarrassed. So, um And I just had a really great weekend with my wife. She didn't see me snap. I really had my temper Uh, it is just like downgraded. I think it's downgraded finally after all these years of being hurricane bill I am now tropical storm You know

And I want to get all the way down to like, you know, you could fly a kite in my anger Like you're on the beach just enjoying yourself Oh, he just gets fussy sometimes Um And then I'll really let out all the frustration. Don't worry guys. I'll keep the anger in my act But in my daily life I I can't have it like I actually found humor It's something the other day where uh, you know, we got a little splash about pool in our backyard

You know do a cannonball in it. You'd break your tailbone not bragging But we we do have a pool. All right, and um So like, you know, it's it's still like costs like a fucking zillion dollars To heat the fucking thing, right? So, uh, I never heat it and I always just go in Fuck it, you know, but like You know, I got kids and shit. I don't want to I don't want to stick my kids in an ice cold fucking pool, right? So I got this solar tap for the pool which works

Un fucking believable Last summer it was like it was working so well. I was getting like sick to my stomach like this is too hot This is like jacuzzi hot. I'm trying to swim in this fucking thing, right? but um I noticed, you know, I had it on this year and it's not working And I'm like, what the fuck and I went on I went on the internet. I'm like, do I have it like? Wrong side down and it's like no bubble side down. This is what you want to do

So I was doing it and it's just not working and then I I read somewhere as I was washing it off trying to clean the thing It says keep it out of direct sunlight when you're not using it Because it will damage it and I'm just like It's a fucking solar panel. It's a solar pool cover like it lives in the sun You know what I mean? Evidently you can't have it out the whole fucking time Or else it damages it

So now the thing is just this useless giant piece of fucking plastic and I'm like, what do I do with this? How do I dispose of this because I know this fucking thing if I throw it out It's going to end up in the ocean and it's going to be the size of a little pool floating around I don't I just don't want that to happen. I you know, I'm actually really excited that there's all of this stuff out there about There really there's a pushback on plastic and everything like those guys liquid death the bottom water that I drink now It's canned a big looks like a giant tall boy like you're drinking booze like a beer or something I'm liking that these younger companies are really taking a look at that and I really think that

The next geniuses You know, then the the the next albert einsteins and whatever from this generation coming up They're going to solve this shit or they're at least going to be working on it And I think we're going to turn it around just in a nick of time. I have to think that because I got kids so frigging young so um And I think that there's going to be a pushback from old people who are used to making money The old way and I think eventually I think I'm hoping eventually that it's going to It's going to stop because what in the fuck do you do with an old

Solar pool cover? What the fuck do I do with this thing? I feel like I just got to stick it in a trash bag and just keep it on my property Is like permanent trash because I'm not going to throw that fucking thing out um Because I wouldn't want that thing just floating around out there It's one thing if they stick it in the ground. That's bad enough I like to think the worms can get around it, but every time it ends up in the fucking oceans. Well, it's way worse. I think anyway So, uh, I have so much shit to talk about. I don't even know what to get where to go here. Um One thing I do have to do is give a shout out to uh

rest in peace tawny cattain um Just an absolute icon from my generation Uh the videos and all of that and I actually had the opportunity I met her one time I didn't even know it was her And I'll tell you this is this is How amazing she was in the two seconds I met her I did the improv down in um

Irvine And I guess she lived down in orange county and she came out to the show Um I didn't know she was at the show and in the end I was selling my dvds This is how long ago that was And as I was standing there like one of the first people to come out Was this woman was with you know two two women came out right a little bit older than I am and uh

She came up and shook my hand Just as she was passed by she said hey great show really funny and kept and just kept walked out You know just kept going right and like she shook my hand. It was like fucking electricity I was just I was you know It's like what the what the fuck was that and she was just gone I've never seen a club when I go I go who the hell was that So like the mayor down here that's like she's got like

Whatever that was has the fucking it factor like I've never seen and he goes. Oh, that's tawny coutain And I remember tawny coutain. He goes all those white snake videos and all that I go. Oh my god. That was her He goes. Yeah, I go. Holy shit I mean that was like, uh, I don't even know where to put that as far as like icons Uh, uh meeting somebody of of like That was like I have a few things like that one time I was on jeff garland had a uh an improv Show called the combo platter

So or something like what's no that was the game he played in the end combo pattern platter There was four chairs one person would stand up start a story And then somebody could stand up and interrupt and then you just fed off of each other was a big improv game It was fun as hell. We did it at ucp and jeff was uh friends with the late great robin williams and he came down that night and he played the game with us and I remember he was sitting next to me And the usual spacing of two chairs next to me and as I was sitting there You know, his arm hair was touching my arm

And I remember he had made so many fucking jokes over the years On uh live aid about how harry was it was like he was wearing like a fucking turtleneck sweater or something and Like one of that arm hair touched my arm. I was like, oh my god. I grew up Not only watching this guy listening to listen to him doing bits about this. I was like goddamn. He is a harry son of a gun Same thing and what is that happened? I remember just thinking like what the like How the hell did I get here with my paths crossed with this person? But like it's the same he had the same

sort of like That just that star power type of thing and uh Anyway, but passing tony cattain passing that is a huge one for my generation As you could see as she was trending so rest in peace um Really sad said way too young 59 years old. Jesus christ. I'll be 59. I'm gonna be 53 in june So that's a scary one not only sad but scary to somebody who's fucking almost 53 um

All right, what else can I talk about here? Um, I saw uh You know, I've been on this mickey work going back watching all the movies that made me love that guy I watched uh pope of gringis village Then I watched angel hot and then uh Over the weekend. I watched year of the dragon Um directed by michael, uh I hope I say his name right

Chimino, I think that's how you say it the way it's spelt and the way you say Chimino, I think it's how you say it. He actually passed away recently in the last couple years. He was the director of um the deer hunter with deniro and uh Christopher walken and all that stuff. So I was like I didn't and I didn't know that he directed this thing but he directed um Interesting backstory on him. I was looking this up. He directed the deer hunter and he won Best director and best picture and then his follow-up heavens gate

um Was this huge box office bomb and according to what I read It stopped the whole director driven movie thing Movies for a minute where like for before the revolution came studios not only

Picked the movies to be made or whatever. I mean, I guess they still do they got a green light of but they had final Final cut they edited the studio edited the movie not the director And then all those badass directors, which I should know more of their names, but I don't the 60s came along And that's when you got all those amazing amazing movies um Stanley Kubrick probably being my favorite of all of them um I guess this movie tanks so bad

That they used it as an excuse to kind of shut that down, which I don't really think so because There was still those big-time directors when I was You know growing up in the 80s um You know and he had Tarantino came around in the early 90s. So they they were like around but whatever. I don't know I don't know enough about it But anyway, and then I heard what years later now people go back and they watch heavens gate and they go

It's actually a good movie Just sometimes when a movie has a big budget and this buzz starts going that's not going to be good I think you fucked before it even comes out back. Then you were There's a lot of movies like that. Were you watching like what are they talking? This movie is actually a good movie I'm not saying it could have made all of its money back, but it's it's not as bad as they're saying it is um, so anyway, um, this guy michael uh, chimino also made this movie year of the dragon with mickey rourke and uh As far as violence goes I give it a 10 great gun sound

Uh great gun fights in it and shit. It's got the classic 80s where a car You know Goes into what they there's one thing this guy gets shot through the back window They cut to his face. It blows his brains out It's driving a late 70s fucking chimero. It goes into a brick wall and just fucking explodes Like did it was this thing modified where he put like Is the engine in the back and they put the gas station a gas station Gas tank in the front. It's it's so ridiculous how much it blows up, but um

Aside from making rourke the two performances that were amazing was uh john lone who played the uh the uh So I guess you would say the uh the anti hero. I don't know how to how do I say all this shit? He was the head of the the triad or whatever He was like a mafioso dude in chinatown and uh, he was fucking amazing in it And his character was badass like the young guy who doesn't want to do it the way the older guys are doing it And he wants to move faster than they're moving

um, and then but the performance of the movie Was this woman, uh caroline kava. I'm hoping i'm saying that right She is fucking Amazing I thought she stole the movie absolutely stole the movie her performance in that thing Uh, basically when her her marriage is on the rocks with mickey rourke that scene At all of her scenes, but that scene. I mean I I I can't believe uh She didn't get some sort of supporting role nomination for that so shout out to her

Um, I looked her up. She's still doing it. She's teaching people how to act if you get an opportunity to get taught by her Man, my god if she was that good that long ago. I can't imagine all the knowledge. She's had since then so Um, really enjoyed that movie and then I watched a date line with my wife who really has to come on here and start talking about these things She's going to she's making me go to bed watching these movies about these fucking horrible people most of them are guys and um I went to bed last night and I had I had a dream that a friend of mine got murdered so I had to call the person today To make sure they were all right, but I didn't tell them that that's why I called Because I didn't want them to think a piano was going to fall in their fucking head. So anyways, I was watching this one

Where? Once again, it's it's a married couple. They look happy as hell. They got the sweaters on the family photos They got three beautiful kids Everything's going great And then I don't know what happened all of a sudden the marriage starts going south And it kind of sounded like he was a bit of a bum right like he didn't want to work Like he had a part-time job And his wife had three jobs

Okay, he was a mr. Mom. He worked part-time He talked her into buying some huge You know them but really her buying in a hugely expensive house And I'm sitting there watching this scenario going gee that's that scenario sounds really familiar It's just flipped this time. It's usually the woman's working part-time in these I'm not saying all women everybody fucking relax In this scenario like women do that all the fucking time, you know, you know, they work their little 15 hours a week We need a bigger house. I need more space And then they get you to buy the fucking thing you're working three fucking jobs

Blah blah blah and then they drop the fucking divorce papers on you, right? And then, you know, they're working they're not making nearly as much money as you are so you're gonna pay child support Well this fucking dirty bastard He tried to make the court system work for him This motherfucker he worked part-time his wife's slave in a way three fucking jobs. She buys an expensive fucking house Okay And then he slaps her with divorce papers while she's at work teaching in front of the kids for maximum pain really sadistic, right? and uh

Then he goes to court and he tries to pull the chick move like 15 hours a week and i'm used to a certain lifestyle and I want the kids and I want her to pay for this big expensive house You know what the judge said He said hey, fuck you buddy get a job you bum Not only do you have to go out and get a job. She's staying in the house She's getting the kids and you're gonna fucking pay for it So he was living All right, and I gotta tell you something as much as the piece of shit as this guy was

I gotta be honest with you. He had a case He had a case Because the law stated that they would go back three years and they would look at the income of both people And determine We know whoever was making more had to pay the other one child support, right? Or uh, not child support. Uh, what do they call it? Uh, alimony went child support, right? So this guy Said always that how the games played and he set himself up and this judge

Circum navigated as far as I can tell without a law degree and even knowing what fucking state they were in Circum navigated the fucking laws and said no because you're a man. This ain't gonna work that way ain't going out that way okay And This guy got so fucking mad I mean, he was obviously already a Psycho he snapped And he fucking killed his wife and a brutal

Brute he stabbed her like over 50 fucking times. I mean just one of the most horrific fucking things ever, right? Um, but he said he was sleeping on his mother's couch All right, and she made a statement that she heard the sound of the door opening and closing at around three in the morning But then when they were gonna finger him for the murder Uh, because I couldn't find a weapon or anything. He he She recanted that statement. I was like, you know, I don't I don't remember. I can't fucking think right now, right? So she covered for him

And this motherfucker Didn't go to jail for like 14 years, right? But his hell was not over Okay, because he painted himself out. She nags and blah blah blah. I love that shit. She nags. Well, then fucking divorce her Fucking idiot, right? So All of her friends Were like these bible belt people and they were like sending him scripture Saying that he was gonna go to hell and the truth is the way to repent just doing this shit. So he had to move away

And he essentially got away with it But then the guy The fuckhead that he is goes out hunting with his brother and he has a couple of they said he had a couple of beers Right. I don't know if these were bud towels or what he had two beers And then he confesses the whole thing to his brother They're sitting on a bridge. He's like, uh, you know, remember your sister-in-law And the guy's like, uh, yeah, and he's like, yeah He goes he opened the bag and showed the murder weapon

He goes, this is how I finalized the divorce And then takes the fucking knife and throws it in a creek not even in a river I don't know how deep a fucking creek is, but it's definitely not a really throws it in the fucking river He tells his brother throws it in the fucking river So then his brother goes home and he goes Maaah Hey maaah, y'all She's like, I'm upstairs

And he comes up he goes, hey maaah, you remember, uh You know so-and-so's first wife She was like, yeah He's like, yeah, well You know fucking Mikey said he killed her And she goes, oh Jesus Christ, could you do me a favor Could you not tell anybody until I'm dead? I swear to God, this is a true story I'm just sitting there watching this shit going. This is what my wife watches

Before you go to bed and I am just sitting there Thinking of oh by the way The wife That the guy murdered was laying in bed weak because she donated a kidney to somebody she worked with And he waited until she was fucking weak and and and And he just came and she knew that he was gonna fucking do it and he I just can't imagine I'm sitting there thinking about the horror that she went through

I'm thinking about that mother finding out that her son when she kind of knew it Anyway, finally realizing that she raised a fucking murderer And that she on her deathbed has to sit there You know, she's got that love for her son that she can't fucking turn them in But no one she should have and then it's like now do I go to like half hell because I didn't do And I'm sitting there going through the emotion of all this right before I go to bed I don't know why my wife and I'm literally looking at my wife It's like

Is she trying to fucking figure out how to do the perfect murder? I mean, I know I'm difficult to work with but this is making me fucking nervous, right? So anyway These cops Fucking amazing they go and and the scuba divers they drag this river three fucking times They're about ready to give up and all of a sudden it snags on something and they pulled up that knife I mean, what are the I mean this is years later They found this fucking thing

um And then they went down and they fucking arrested the guy and the cop took a picture And sent it to like the woman's best friend the deceased woman's best friend said look who I got in the back of my cruiser So, I mean, it's like all right. So it has like a happy ending, but I still went and then they've like, you know They got one of the kids on there who has to find out that her dad murdered her mom. It was just fucking brutal And I'm watching this whole fucking thing right before I go to bed And then the comedian me is also like the brain's going like, you know, what's fucked up about that is like

If they did that if they did in court To a woman what they did to that guy She in some way would have been able to use that as part of like, you know I wouldn't have snapped if he treated me equally and would have somehow figured out only getting 15 years So, what is the thing I have learned that a lot of my anger comes from the fact That I don't feel like anybody's going to listen to me because I came from the sit down and shut the fuck up Generation here's a key let yourself in and out you know, so, um

I I have since learned that all like most of the times if I just say hey, you know what I think I'm going to tell Although I don't know I kind of like it I can't even say that I've actually gotten into the real housewives I finally just sat and watched it with her and I kind of got into the soap opera of it So now I actually watched the shit, but I think I'm going to tell her uh It just be like listen Not for nothing. I had a dream last night that one of my good friends got murdered

And I woke up feeling like I had to call them because all of a sudden I felt like that short lady in poltergeist Like I knew something was going to happen Uh, can we tone down the fucking uh And plus I don't like going to bed watching a married couple With their beautiful family photo and then seeing one killed another and this is what we're watching and then we're going to go to bed And I gotta fucking go to sleep with one eye open being like why the fuck does she like watching this shit so much? I actually asked her because I was like snl did a whole sketch on this. I guess that I mean, I I guess maybe predominantly the viewers are women. I have no idea but

My wife actually broke it down really in a cool way. She goes. Well, you know As a woman you got to worry that something violent is going to happen to you So I watched those things because I try and think what I would have done To prevent it And I was like, you know what? Uh, that's a fucking great reason to watch this shit Um, having said that I I don't want to watch it So, um, anyway, that was my fucking weekend. Uh, let's let's let's read a little advertising here for the uh, oh, I got a couple here Uh, roman

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You're out there, you know, she thinks you're slaving away. What'd you do, huh? Did a little porn star action sprayed all over it. You walked in the house sat down and watched the end of the nicks game Fucking nicks are not losing Watched my Celtics. I watched the third quarter The heat beaten up on us, but I guess we came back. I'll tell you how fucking amazing The talent is in the nba for some reason they want to stick it on two teams, but like that kid dunkin robinson The level of that how good a shooter that guy is like

There's so many guys that are like borderline larry bird good and they're like I know that guy's known, but I mean He he if he was that good in the fucking 80s Like he'd be on the cover of a cereal box He'd be the best guy on the fucking team basically And he is it they got jimmy butler. All right gen z is fucked says somebody I was actually complimenting that generation after the millennials. I thought that uh the millennials You know, they got a lot of shit dumped on them and I I don't know that they even got to enjoy uh Being young with all these fucking older people after they went around and did all the shit that they did

I don't know what they did they over if they babied them. I have no idea. Uh, gen z is fucked Or maybe it's because the uh the way Baby boomers were raised did baby boomers have millennials. I think they did as did my generation I just waited so fucking long gen z is fucked. Hello, billy The bar bag burr Um, I was listening to your most recent podcast and the guy that I was talking About gen z what? Okay, I was listening to your most recent podcast and the guy that was talking about gen z being a bunch of pussies

Um I don't know they seem pretty cool to me. I'm also a gen z cunt and I'm beginning to see this Molly coddling of stupid You spelt stupid wrong And oversensitive cunts more often. Maybe you spelt it wrong On purpose. I am from scotland. So our cultures are a bit different However, I see my fellow gen z compadres on twitter all snowballing onto this bandwagon of being dimwitted pussies And expressing ridiculous opinions

Well, I just that that's that's a symptom of social media. I see you see older people You want to see older people do it? Go on facebook. They're doing the same thing That's just I don't know what it is. I I'm sure the scientists are doing a study on the effect of um Social media on your your own mental health your ego and all of that shit So I wouldn't put that all in just gen z people. But anyways, uh What's becoming popular among these cunts in the past two three years is being a cool hipster

Anti-capitalist commie with no good pattern whatsoever Uh, I am in no way saying that the capitalist countries we live in are a utopia However, I'd have to say after just knowing the history of communism It's probably not the best idea to start a fucking revolution anytime soon. Well, do you really think they're going to? They're not they're just taking on a personality, you know, I was the fucking uh Well, not until I got older, but I was like the conspiracy theory guy Reading Behold the Pale Horse and all that shit Uh, these fucking spastics are now also oh spastics. Ooh coming from uh, scotland. That's an edgy word

Not supposed to say that over there. I thought are now also doing what they proclaim The big dad capitalist oppressor has been doing to the people For the past century by shouting down any opposing opinion and labeling them as racist sexist and the rest of it in the name of free speech and freedom Uh, I nice one you bunch of fanies. I wish I could say that a scottish accent Um, I hate to tell you this dude. You're putting this on a generation. There's liberals my age that are doing the same thing um they are

unbelievable liberal they are unbelievably liberal as long as you you See the world exactly the way they do and if you don't they try to figure out a way to take away your career Um, anyway, I'm not what you would call right wing or left wing in any way because politicians are a bunch of arseholes And I'd rather not side with any of the cunts. Anyways, sorry if this was a bit long I just wanted to give my two cents of the matter. I hope you're going well. You're doing well and can come to scotland glas glas go for some stand-up as soon as this lockdown bullshit's over Kind regards and go fuck yourself. Yeah, um, listen I I know that that that cunt that you're talking about is a new breed of cunt

But I want you to know that that transcends generations that that person is uh Is in the park, you know, where the parents are watching their kids. There's that person They're kind of everywhere the social justice warrior um Who I really believe most of what they do Is not actually for people of color It's so they can talk about it amongst their liberal white friends later to say

the amazingly brave thing that they did the tweet that they put out or The thing that they said that they didn't tolerate like that that's how deep they go into actually solving I guess all the racism and the power structure is they um They take a firm stand On things on social media and then they get back to their white lives. Um, all right I don't know how to say this word kombucha

A nice alternative to boozing. Hey, bill Uh put you through that fucking space wall burr. Oh nice a little efforts for family and Mandalorian reference Now greetings from a fellow fucking I love when a fellow redhead writes in uh nice work with the sobriety I wanted to share something that helped me cut down on the booze. It's called kombucha Hope you haven't heard of this. I've heard it in a writer's room used as a reference But I thought it was a coffee or something

If you if you have feel free to toss this email in the trash. It's fermented tea and it's super healthy It has Living bacteria in it. So it's great for your gut health. Think yogurt. It's a solid alternative to beer I'm old enough that I would try this. I drink it when I'm gambling I'm gaming. Sorry with my buddies and don't want to drink alcohol It's got the right fizz and gaseousness. So it makes me feel like I'm drinking something with some substance Oh, by the way at that restaurant, too. I ordered an orange soda that they made like homemade. It was fucking unbelievable Um, anyway, it does have super low alcohol

0.25 or minus 5% as a As a byproduct of the bacteria but you don't feel it at all. All right You don't have to you'd have to drink 10 to to equate One miller light There's a ton of flavors. I like the honey if you get some swirl it don't shake it Uh, the thing will erupt like a freshman on prom night Hey

Nice ran. That's a that's a decent joke. I figure it might be uh of some use to you Cheers and congrats on the wonderful family. Thanks for all the laughs and insight hearing you acknowledge and work on your anger Has been a big help for me to do the same. Cheers. Well, that's nice. I hope everybody does that That's why I'm not into cancel culture. I've made every fucking mistake He could make and I think that like as long as you're trying to be As long as you look back on yourself five years ago and be like, what the fuck was I thinking? Why did I say that? Why did I do that? If you have some sort of shame looking back at yourself five years, I feel like you're growing as a person

But this whole fucking thing going back into somebody's past and being like, uh-huh What is this about? It's about being a human being and being wrong in that moment Is that one moment what I am because I've done some good things. Why can't you just look at the one good thing? I did seven years ago and then uh-huh. That's that's who he is Give him a Nobel Peace Prize I'm all of it Good the bad the ugly

socialism I bill you redheaded fuck I really appreciate the bluntness of that. How are you? Um last week you mentioned Uh, you don't know why people demonize socialism Um, I was really taken aback at that statement. Oh, Jesus Christ Every country that has tried socialism has failed And it's responsible for tens of millions of deaths. All right, so would you say capitalism is working?

And it is it is not uh, you know when like what is it like 99% of the wealth isn't like fucking 2% of the people's hands All of these tense cities you're telling me this is working. You don't think capitalism is responsible for tens of millions of deaths um Anyway, russia, germany, china, cuba and most recently venezuela have tried or right now Are socialist countries as far as I know whatever cuba was trying to do We prevented them from doing with a fucking embargo or whatever the hell we did. We've been fucking with them for 60 years So I think you're looking at like, you know Like what a lot of people do is you look at your own country

Through rose colored glasses the same way you look at your own sports team like oh my team doesn't cheat But your team does Um, I'll be honest with you. I don't think any form of government Works Because there's human beings running it and there is inherently going to be backdoor deals and people You know just with Are just going to have the in and they're going to pay off politicians and all of that. Okay, um I do what I do like about this here is that you have the opportunity to move up

You're not stuck with where you're at but I mean You're you're really You're really sort of looking the other way with what capitalism has done to other countries um All the sweatshop labor All the wars we've fought in over air quote freedom where most of it is about you know natural resources all of these fucking countries where we've gone in and you know stuck in

Heads of the government that are going to do what we want to do so we can fucking take advantage of them They I mean to sit there and look at capitalism like that kids, you know I don't know dude, but once again, I don't even think you can blame capitalism on that I think you just can blame sociopathic people that Both crave and ascend to positions of power Um, all right, I took off my bergen stocks. I'm going to read read the rest of this here Okay, socialism all starts the same way create a boogeyman like corporations The rich or a race

Oh, yeah, we've never done that in this country. We've never created a boogeyman We yeah, there's never I mean Jesus Christ buddy blame them for all your problems. Yeah, we never did that The leaders then promise to fix all the problems Oh boy slowly the government starts to control every aspect of your life Why does this sound so familiar promise that every I don't think like recording all our phone conversations now We're slowly on our way to getting microchipped Promise that everybody will have the same Equity and outcome this creates mediocrity loss of the middle class

Loss of the middle class. Where have I seen that before? Uh of innovation uh punisher, you know corporations are buying houses now They're just buying them up so they can fucking airbeam like the literally the american dream buying a house They're gonna take that away in this country. Uh, that reduces the tax money coming on into the government buddy I can't fucking read all of this horseshit. This is everything that we're doing too Capitalism, okay, I'll get to the end here capitalism. No, you know what? Let's just read all of this because it's fucking hilarious that he's acting like none of this is happening in this country Um

And you know what's funny about people you don't like to get the fuck out of here This is my favorite thing ever Yet you can look at your sports team And be like what the fuck is this coach doing and then nobody goes like you don't go fucking through for somebody else No, i'm criticizing it because I love it and I want it to win. Uh, anyways, this creates mediocrity Uh loss of the middle class loss of innovation Punish the rich which eventually leads to them leaving the country. Oh, yeah, that hasn't happened That hasn't yeah, the rich haven't like, you know, their money leaves the country and then comes back in the form of an interest-free loan

That is then forgiven Jesus buddy, come on That reduces tax money coming into the government and loss of jobs because the richest people usually employ the most of the population Oh boy disarm the citizens so that they can't cannot revolt Control the media like promoting the government control the media There's two guys that own the media ted turner and fucking that other guy there the guy for fox news Um, that's why we're hat fields and mccoys right now Disarm the citizens so they cannot revolt control the media like promoting the government agenda with propaganda then censorship of all their other ideas

Yeah, creating areas where you can only protest which are down and around the corner Away from the uh, the fucking media. Yeah, okay Eventually all rights are taken away the centers journalists and politicians Oppositions are jailed or executed Eventually the leaders will be uh become exactly what they originally campaigned against Jesus christ buddy I I've I've forgotten what's your He goes this much more to it on the economic level, but as a fellow moron, it's too complicated for me to understand All right, I am also a fellow moron, but dude all of that shit has happened

If you look at all the rights and everything that you have lost In the last fucking 20 years um I don't even know I don't even begin in creating a boogeyman and racism genocide every we all of that shit. We've done all of that We've done all of that You know When I was a kid there was rules on media ownership. No one person could own any seven It was rules of seven. No one person can own seven radio stations newspapers tv stations

Blah blah blah blah blah in in one market because they knew if you control if you Owned all of that if you control the media you control thought and yet they've let ted turner in that fucking uh I want to say ralph naven rupert murdoch Do exactly that And present cnn and fox news have the fucking balls To present the people that are on tv as journalists and then also acting as though you're watching news. You're not you're watching propaganda Okay So there you go. All right

Okay transgender fan. Hey, all right. Look at me crossing over here. Hey, billy. I've been listening to uh The podcast since I was 16. I'm 22 now and I've enjoyed every episode especially during quarantine I'm a violinist Sculptor and a trans man. Look at you Uh definition in the next paragraph. Thank you and have been wanting to write in for a while after hearing you read the letter a fan sent in about His trans friends attending his wedding. I thought now would be the time. Oh beautiful. All right. Let me do the recap so this guy was um Getting married

And not one but two of his friends that he was going to have be groomsmen Either had transitioned or were in the process of transitioning And he was like am I an asshole if I don't want him to wear a dress Okay, that was the question So me knowing nothing about the subject that didn't stop me from answering it That's in the I believe the previous are two episodes ago. Um, all right. So now we're gonna actually hear from somebody Live in the life here first off. I do want to clear clarify that by trans man

I mean I transitioned from female to male Oh Fuck okay. I didn't get that I thought trans man Bet you went the other way. Okay And in instrument rating that would be reverse sensing Uh on a vor for all you pilots out there in short I'm a he and your response to the fan that wrote and you said that transitioning seems like a massive emotional process

And you were exactly right. Hey, look at me. Look at me not bad for a sith white male When I described the experience which I do openly to create a dialogue for people who are generally curious I often say that transitioning is not an option But more so the only option from for most people like me Let me ask you this before you totally committed. Was there any doubt like I hope because I mean I hope I'm doing the right. I hope I'm getting this right Because I can't tell you how many times I've misread my feelings. I mean, but the the stakes were not that high That's like fucking

You're going all in with the chips so to speak Uh, anyway, he goes imagine you wake up one day with boobs and are and are expected to wear heels after the novelty of having of having 24 seven access To tits wears off It fucking sucks. Let me read this again. Imagine you wake up one day with boobs and are expected to wear heels All right. Now, wait a minute. I thought you transitioned From a woman to a man

I mean, I transitioned from female to male. Okay Says imagine you wait. Oh, maybe she's He's putting me in this. I don't know Imagine you wake up one day with boobs and are have and are expected to wear heels after the novelty of Having 24 seven access to tits wears off. It fucking sucks Nobody chooses to go through all of that trouble of being a lot Alienated from friends and family members on a whim Well, there you go. You just answered my question for me. If I wanted to have a future post high school

I had to make this step and I have avoided a lot of further mental dissonance Thanks to the scientists and surgeons who advocated for trans medicine And yes, I will always trust the opinions of a scientist over a politician Fair enough As the wedding scenario goes I can guarantee his trans grooms Were just as conflicted as him I also came out right before a relative's wedding and was given an ultimatum of

You either lie about your identity If you want to remain a part of this family or you won't be welcomed back into our lives Eh, it's just fucking can you imagine your family saying that to you? I ended up playing violin at their ceremony for free and never getting invited to another family reunion Wow That is really fucking sad. I'm sorry that happened to you Uh, hopefully uh, Jesus in the near future that doesn't happen. How do you disown a fucking your own kid? I don't I don't get that

I don't get that. I mean I draw the line of you know hearing my kid leave and then get in charge with them at night In covering for a murder I mean there are lines Um Yeah, you do some dateline shit, you know I mean you're kind of out on your own But I'd still visit you when you went to jail and I would be like where did I fuck up that made you do something like that um

Anyway, personally if I were asked to be a bridesmaid before coming out as a guy I would I would have stepped down because I don't want to be the one guy in a traditional Traditionally female role I'm betting this guy's trans grooms People felt similar. I have to fucking do the math on that. I wouldn't have stepped down because I don't want to be the one guy in a traditionally female role Uh, I don't know what that means. I'm betting this guy's trans grooms people felt the sim similar

I'll hope you guys understood what that meant. I didn't get that one sentence. Okay, and here's where the rant opens up. All right Here we go Taking the gloves off there. All right. A lot of trans people are are really pissed by the false and performative ally ship The far left has dumped on us With little work to back their claims up Yeah, it's a fucking show. That's what I think so much of that liberal social justice fucking horseshit is It's just for you to put on a little performance on your social media page

And people can be like, oh, wow, you're an ally. Here's your little rainbow fucking emoji And then you can just go back to live in your life and you're not getting your hands dirty um It's like those white people that marched with black lives mattered as they were live instagramming themselves Like look at me. I have a bandana on i'm a fucking revolutionary And then after that they just went back to their life Got crossfit in the morning We are identifying more as independence because we've experienced hate from the right and tokenism from the left

Oh, yeah, you get used I mean Which is worse at least I mean, I know the hate if it escalates the violence is bad But at least if somebody's just straight up it says how they feel about you as opposed to just using you um Anyway, I think a lot of your jokes about trans people are actually more about performative cis people I don't know what cis means who are using trans issues for votes because they know

We are a very vulnerable group Yeah, well They kind of do that with everybody. I guess that's the only positive way politicians always do that They're always fucking looking for some fucking angle For themselves anyway But not all they're not all bad. There's got to be some good ones in there Trans people just want to live a normal life start a family and not be claimed as a political pawn I was at my lowest depression before I started hormones and got my chest

masculine Masculinization procedure What chest did you go with are they good enough that you can pick one out? Because personally speaking, you know, I would I would go fucking Matthew McConaughey um But here's the thing, you know, what's funny is if they actually get it down someday where you could do that all of these fucking People who are like anti trans and all of that shit if they find out that you can actually get

A Matthew McConaughey chest and they're looking at their fucking mantits. They might do it You know, I got the McConaughey You know, you know right before they fucking put the fucking gas on your face. You have headphones And the last thing you hear is Matthew McConaughey going all right. All right. All right And you wake up with a chiseled tan chest um That'd be fucking hilarious if I did that as a redhead and my chest didn't match my the whiteness of my head Then I have to go reverse Michael Jackson

You know do a reverse bleaching Um, anyway, let's not make this about you bill. Anyway, he says uh, he says, uh, I haven't left the house in weeks I hadn't left the house in weeks and nearly dropped out of school since transitioning I'm happy back on stage volunteering writing music That's great teaching violin students running my small business. There you go. Don't work for somebody else And I have have met someone special Look at you. I know I'm from an outside perspective being trans I know from an outside perspective being trans seems crazy

If you knew the thunder and lightning between my fucking ears, I don't think anybody's crazy. I think it's fucking crazy to uh go through life And not think that you're kind of fucking nuts yourself You know walking around thinking you have it all figured out. I think that that's fucking crazy. I'm not gonna lie to you like you know Like shit freaks me out

Without a doubt. I'm not saying this shit, but I will tell you when when Bruce became Caitlyn. There was definitely, you know, a what the fuck moment now i'm used to it But what was weird about that Was if you were like me, you weren't for some reason allowed to have that what the fuck moment um Which is one of those things that the left is like Psychotic with it's like you you got a little You got to let everybody kind of go through their emotions as long as they're not hurting anybody

They're you're processing it. That's all right. So anyway This person says I felt the same way until I realized I would always be Be an angry sad person if I had stayed in the closet I started listening to your podcast the same month I came out back in 2017 has not been offended by the jokes about trans people Contrary to what the far left or right want you to think trans folk have a pretty thick skin And we're no strangers to having having to advocate for our rights I've been doing a lot of work on undoing the anger I built up over my teenage years and listening to your show has given me laughs

When I needed them the most thanks and go fuck yourself. Wasn't that great Look at me, huh? I'm gonna make that whole fucking thing about me. You know the appeal of me It's just really amazing and you guys I just want to say as a podcast justice warrior All right, so if anybody is listening to this And your kid is gay and they came out and you disowned them. Can you can you not do that to him? That's such a fucking horrible horrible thing to do to somebody

It really is it really is it's like, you know Just try to be uh, you know Just fucking work your way through it You know what I mean, it's I don't I don't I don't get it. I don't fucking get it That happens to me with one of my kids. I mean it's you just be who the fuck you are and don't be a fucking asshole to other people That's all I ask. Can you just do that? Great All right, you're cool with me. Okay sign stealing equals joke stealing All right. Hey, hey, billy velocity blue balls

Oh velocity blue balls. Oh, that's the ford velocity blue, which they're discontinuing in the f-250 in 2022 Just wanted to reach out and see if I could change your perspective on the astros sign stealing scandal Because honestly every time you talk about it. I want to punch you in the face. I'll do you I don't give a fuck Uh, so that being said, let's have some friendly discourse. Oh, you let me off the hook The way I see it the astros using electronic video equipment to steal signs is very similar to comedian stealing each other's jokes Oh my god, this is almost like you took something that wasn't in my world and put it in my world By golly, I think it's going to take two more sentences and I'll come around to your opinion All right

You really think I'm dumb, don't you? Uh more specifically if you apply the arguments Defending the astros to defending joke thieves It's easy to see the hypocrisy Oh, is it? You sound like gwyneth paltrow like i'm reading a cookbook. It's all easy. Okay, imagine me someone who doesn't know jack Shit about comedy saying everyone is stealing jokes But people only hate that comedian because they got caught That is just like you saying someone who doesn't know jack shit about baseball saying everyone is stealing signs

But people only hate on the astros because they got caught um Yeah, but for this theory to work every joke every comedian would have to be stealing jokes They're not Okay, that's the difference Everyone is stealing signs in baseball. That's why they have signs That's why they fucking switch up signs That's why in football they hold up the card with the fucking picture of the eiffel tower a donut and and fucking uh

michael douglas because people on the other side are stealing signs Okay Contrary to your analogy Is I can do my act In front of 99 percent of fucking comedians and not have to worry about getting my jokes stolen because 99 percent of comedians do not steal jokes But I will continue with your analogy Um

And I like how you're ignoring the fact that the red sox and yankees had 200 million dollar Royted up free agent teams and won a whole bunch of world series But evidently that was okay um And you're gonna get these guys on sign stealing, uh, well that'd be like me saying Well that comedian was funny enough to sell out msg anyways, so it doesn't matter it doesn't this analogy doesn't work But I'll continue I don't understand how you can be so outspoken against joke stealing yet still defend cheaters From a different profession. I'm not defending cheating

I'm not defending cheating what I'm saying, sir, which which I think is Hypocritical to use your word and when I use this analogy, I think it's just going to be really easy for you to see Okay, is that for people to not look At teams that field 180 200 million dollar teams that had like Future hall of famers on it that they got from other teams that were doing steroids And not question those champions those those those world series rings But then be like all these fucking dirty astros is a joke. So here's my thing

If you're gonna call them cheaters you got to call all of them cheaters That's my shit right there because my thing is I believe that The same way I feel barry bonds was a victim of the steroid error Where he was the best guy He was the guy He was the guy that if anybody was going to break the home run record He was the guy that was going to do it and then these other guys took steroids and became better than him And then next so you know the president bill clinton is calling them congratulations

It's amazing. He must be getting a lot of pussy, right? He's calling them So then barry bonds and no one did anything about it. So barry bonds is like, all right If that's how the game's played Fuck it. Here's me on roids and then everybody's like, oh barry bonds. You fucking piece of shit I think that's ridiculous. So I think it's ridiculous To fucking ignore What some of those bigger teams red socks and Yankees and all of those guys did what those fucking super ridiculous budgeted fucking teams

And the fact that not only that like not that was so fucking unfair Forget about that. They had the money that they could do that and then just pay a fucking luxury tax And and then fucking Nobody gives them shit nobody says they were cheating and then the astros come along they get busted for stealing signs And they're they like this secondary market team Who can't hold on to their fucking stars because these other behemoths are vacuuming them up So they go, all right, fuck it. We got to steal signs to compete with you And then they do and then I'm supposed to feel bad for the fucking Yankees

Or if they beat the red socks, I'm supposed to feel bad for us. I don't I don't I would say that what the astros did Is when you go to jail, you're not supposed to make a shank, but everybody's got one So in order to survive you got to make one Okay, so going back to your your analogy there is your analogy is acting like every comedian steals jokes They don't your analogy is acting like everybody in baseball and professional sports isn't cheating and that's not the truth it isn't People get busted all the fucking time pumping crowd noise in

Owners sitting on competition committees changing the rule of the games To fucking make it work for them the nfl the whole fucking nfl Whatever the latest most high-powered offenses that's working everybody steals it They break it down figure out how it works and then they incorporate it. They don't come up with their own Original offense they do the same things with defenses. I mean I could go fucking on and on about it. So Nice try with the joke stealing thing, but no pun intended swinging a miss. All right Diamonds from cremation What the fuck dear billy better oneself my girlfriend recently shared something with me that immediately made me think of you

Apparently there are companies that will take the ashes of your loved ones and convert them into diamonds I was wondering what your thoughts would be on this Would be as some women appear to be turning their dead husbands into jewelry I Immediately thought of my kids. It's like if you can find value in my fucking burned up carcass And it makes your life easy He he goes does it ever end bill? Is it ever enough? That's so fucking funny That's a fucking killer stand-up bit. You should go do that somewhere

Anyway, oh wait, we all steal jokes now. I'm gonna do it Um, I'm a longtime listener and hearing you make efforts to better yourself over the years has been great Big fan and keep up the great work. All right. Well, you know, I hope I'm inspiring you guys to do the same um Because it is I can't I gotta tell you I feel the best I've felt Since um, I don't know in my adult life that I actually finally For the first time I'm starting to have control over this thing that was really embarrassing to me and really hurt people around me, which is my anger and

Um It's funny if you go to therapy and you really get to the root and you're really just fucking Let it all go and figure out why you're angry All of a sudden you look back on I don't know. I've ever long you've been angry being like that's why I did this This is why I did that. Oh, I did this. What a fucking asshole That's why I drank the way I drank all of this shit. It's like the end of a fucking movie Uh more like a streaming series. Well, if you find out who fucking did what right? So, um It's been a great thing for me and it's been an even better thing for the people around me. So, uh

Yeah, that's it. All right people and with that go fuck yourselves and I will check in on you on thursday