Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 5-11-20

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

Bill rambles about 'More Than Words', Plato, and the Queen's business.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, May 11th, 2020. What's going on? How are you? How's it going? Oh, it's the pandemic. It's never going to end.

It's the pandemic. Look at your friend. Is he wearing a mask? If he's not, kick him in the ass. He's stupid. It's fucking unbelievable. Every day not. Now there's like traffic out here in LA.

There's more and more people being just like, well, fuck this shit, and everybody's just going out. It's this whole fucking thing should have been over in a month. If everybody did what the fuck they told them to do, but nope. Everybody has to get in their ego. Masks don't apply to me. This is all a big fucking scam to bring down Trump. I don't understand it.

They had out in Pasadena a bunch of young, stupid fucking kids had a big party out there. And some fucking party goer was coughing, going, what if I have it? And the douche did. So now they got a new bunch of breakouts out there, just fucking idiots. And I don't know how come they don't go to jail? How come they don't get arrested? How come they don't get fucking sent? We need to create Corona Island, COVID-19 Island.

And if you get this shit past a certain fucking day, then you're just a douche walking around without a mask. Take you out of the fucking pub. There's no solution. There's no solution. I don't know what the fuck to do here. God bless the fucking people working on a cure. I yelled at my first person.

He completely ignored me. I was walking around the block with my daughter. We both had masks on or whatever. And I just hear this person walking quickly behind me. I turn around and says, it's a fucking older guy. No mask on. And I'm thinking, all right, well, he's going to take a wide berth. Right?

He goes to walk right by. I said, I walked up a driveway. And I was like, hey, buddy, where's your mask? Ignores me. Where's your mask? Hey, old man, you want to dance a few rounds? This quarantine has me yelling at old people. I don't know.

Do you guys have any solutions? Does anybody have any theories as to why people would want? There must be way more trust fund kids out there than I thought. I would think on some level, even as a young person, you would be concerned. You know what happened is kids became friends with their parents. That's what happened. We went from fucking, go upstairs and get my belt over corrected to, you know, now like parents are smoking weed with their kids.

That fucking generation, that dumb ass generation. Hey, you know, you guys want to do some fucking, what do they call those? Bob Itchewits? What are they? What's the shit that just took everybody out? You want to do some oxy? I'd rather have my kid do oxy with me than with others. I don't know.

I don't get these fucking parents just letting their kids just running all over the place doing whatever the fuck. I don't even know if that's even fucking true. I don't even, I don't know. I'm just making up shit, you know. I'm just making up shit, playing drums, podcasting, zooming, losing my mind like everybody else and watching a bunch of shit on old football. So let's talk about old football as, as, as the selfish cunts, maybe even some selfish

cunts listening to this podcast who are like, yo, create a buddy, got me for a fucking police gig, whatever the fuck they're saying, oh, gives a fuck. I'm actually starting to hope that this thing morphs into a deadly virus and all these fucking douches walking out there who think they're too fucking good to follow the fucking rules who won't be team players all get fucking taken out. That's what I would love. One of those like a fucking Australian snake, the old 12 step drop thing. Yeah, that's, that's what it is.

See, I was all with this. We're all into this together. Yada, yada, yada. Now I'm just like, you know what? I hope these fucking cunts die. Every fucking one of you cunts out there sunbathing, you know, having birthday parties and all of that shit. I hope you all fucking die.

How about that? There you go. What? Somebody else is going to have to lose their fucking home in the next fucking couple of months because you want to go out and do fucking jazzer size in a park. It's ridiculous. And that fucking dope Donald Trump, why doesn't he bring that up? He's so fucking stupid.

He's so busy saying what a great fucking job he did. There's nothing to apologize for. It caught everybody. Everybody's fucking country was fucked. All right. So fuck all the liberals coming at you, saying all that shit. You got to go after these cunts not wearing their fucking masks, bunch of fucking babies. I don't know.

My opinion on fucking humanity. I really need to fix it here because I try to act like most people are cool, which I still think they are. But I'm telling you, the amount of dopes when we've somehow come out of this fucking thing, the amount of fucking dopes who are living week to week. And I'm not talking about broke people, poor people, racism, sexism and all that shit that prevents people from moving ahead and not talking about that shit. I'm talking about perfectly good white people, okay, who can walk into any office has fucking

directions to where the fucking job interview is at least be heard, okay? You fucking dopes who are making enough money where you can actually save some. So the next time some shit like this happens, you're not sitting there with your pockets turned inside out after eight fucking days. The amount of you who are going to continue to buy the next flat screen TV, fucking iPad and all of that shit. I really hope you don't. I really hope you don't.

Well, Bill, what am I going to look at during the pandemic? Great point. I don't have any answers, people. I just stay inside for a fucking month. Jesus, this is like watching an attic trying to get sober. It starts tomorrow. It starts tomorrow. You know, whole fucking life goes by.

Anyway, so I've been reading a bunch of shit on old school football, right? And what the hell am I here? So I was watching, is this the wrong one? That is the wrong one. I got all of this fucking shit that I looked up. There it is. There it is. Okay.

I was looking, I was watching some old Floyd little number 44 in your program from the Denver Broncos. I always loved his name. When I first got into football, I used to, I used to, I used to check out books on football from the library. My parents would be like, only go get a book, smart enough, right? And then I would come out with a book about the fucking 1971 Washington Redskins. That Christ, that isn't a book.

Right? So I used to always see all this stuff on Floyd little and I was fascinated with these guys that played before the people I was now watching. So I'm watching Floyd little highlights, which I highly recommend. And in the middle of it, a couple of times I see him catching passes from a black quarterback and they showed him quickly. I was like, was that a black quarterback? Those arms did not look white, right?

Number 15. Look the guy up, Marlon Briscoe, aka the magician. Number 15 for the Broncos. Listen to this fucking story. All right, here we go, Marlon, Oliver Briscoe, nickname the magician is a former American league football quarterback and wide receiver in October, 1968, after being drafted by the Denver Broncos of the AFL, he in the 14th round, by the way, he became the first starting black quarterback and professional American football and established a Denver rookie record

of 14 touchdown passes that season. He played professionally for nine years. He's from Omaha, Nebraska, which is amazing that he didn't become an offensive lineman the way they feed those kids that fucking corn out there. He went to the University of Nebraska at Omaha. Okay. Now check this shit out. Okay.

So his rookie, he set a record of 14 touchdown passes that season and he played professionally for nine years. Well, how come you don't know about him, Bill? This is why Briscoe was a five foot 10 and 177 pounds when the AFL Broncos drafted him in the 14th round of the 1968 drafted 22 years of age. The Broncos intended to convert Briscoe to cornerback, but Briscoe had negotiated for a chance to compete for the quarterback position. Tell me this isn't a Denzel movie.

Let me tell you something, Marlon, and I know you're a quarterback, but you know the guy would have to have a Southern accent because he's racist. That's how white people handle white racism, which would just make it act like it's all down south. Marlon, I don't think, ah, I'm thinking you play on the other side of throwing a ball. Maybe you try to knock it down with your jumping ability. On September 29th, 1968, after starter Steve Tensey suffered a broken collarbone, he must have been on a dirt bike, and backup Joe DeVito was spotty head coach, Lou Saban summoned

Briscoe from the sideline in the fourth quarter against the Boston Patriots to give him a try. Briscoe's first play was a 22 yard completion on his second series. He orchestrated an 80 yard touchdown drive. He completed a 21 yard pass and ran for 38 more himself, carrying it the last 12 yards for the score. I mean, tell me that right there wasn't a glimpse into the future of the quarterback position.

A week later, on October 6th, he became the first starting African-American quarterback in the AFL. Briscoe threw 14 touchdown passes that year in just five starts, including four on November 29th against Buffalo. Both are still Bronco rookie records. He threw for 335 fucking yards in that game, a rookie record that stood until John Elway broke it in 1983. I bet they didn't try to make him a cornerback.

You can knock it down with your teeth, Johnny. And one of only three 300 plus yard rookie games in franchise history. He completed 41 and a half percent of his passes and average 7.1 yards per attempt. And his 17.1 yards per completion led the American football league and ranks 18th all time. He also ran for 308 yards and three touchdowns. Okay. So you would think that this would at least get him an opportunity to compete the next

year for the quarterback job. Now here comes page in the page 20 of the script before the 1969 season started. Briscoe still determined to play quarterback like he hasn't proved that he should be in consideration, discovered that head coach Saban instead intended to use Pete Liskey or Liske LISKE as the starter. So he asked to be released. He went to the AFL's Buffalo bills where he was turned into a receiver since the bills already had superstar Jack Kemp, former pro bowler Tom Flores and Superbowl head coach

of the Oakland Raiders later on and LA Raiders and James Harris, another black quarterback with a more prototypical six foot four, 210 pound frame, Briscoe never played quarterback again as he's like the black Doug Flutey. This is ridiculous. The guy's a winner, but he enjoyed a splendid career. He led Buffalo and touchdown catches each of his three seasons there and in receptions twice in 1970. He was in the top two in receptions and receiving yards and became an all pro.

Isn't that amazing? Then retirement legacy was a successful businessman got involved in, you know, the Koch 80s became addicted, but recovered. I mean, it's a fucking movie. A biopic film titled The Magician based on Briscoe's life has been under development for several years. Canadian actor Lyric Bent has been approached to portray Briscoe in the film and 2016 the university of Nebraska, Omaha, Briscoe's Omaha, Briscoe's alma mater honored him by unveiling

a statue. Unreal. Isn't that interesting? Here's something else that I found interesting when I bought some old football cards from 1969 and I was going through them and low and behold, the first fucking 20, the first is number card number one is Leroy Kelly, number 44 and yet program. He's the guy who had to take over after Jim Brown. He was drafted with Jim Brown had two years left.

I guess people probably didn't know he had two years left and this guy just took over like a fucking champ running for a thousand yards almost every damn year, three years in a row. But I guess the Browns made a couple of bad trades that fucked or was it the Giants that fucked up their defense, both the Browns and the Giants made some bad trades that led to the 1970s where they both stunk. Giants turned it around because they had parcels with Bill Belichick and the Browns did not but then the Browns got Bill Belichick as a head coach with Nick Saban on that coaching

staff and they decided to fire both of them. So there you go. Anyways, next guy, Jim Cadiall. I'm all I can say about that guy is he blocked for Gale Sayers, Eric Barnes, one of the great cornerbacks. I didn't know anything about him. Willie Richardson, poor guy, played for the Coltas whole career. He lost to the Jets in the Super Bowl.

The year he leaves and goes to the Dolphins, the Colts beat the Cowboys in Super Bowl five and then he was with the Dolphins and then he came back to the Colts and the fucking Dolphins won at the year he left. Bullet Bob Hayes, Bob Jeter. I was like, is that Derek Jeter's dad? I'm like, no, he's too fucking old. Turns out he was one half of the greatest cornerbacks for the Green Bay Packers that won an unprecedented three titles in a row, 65, 66 and 67 NFL titles.

Bob Jeter on one side, Herb Adderley on the other side. Then the first Patriot I see, Jim Calclo. Never heard of the guy. He was part of the Patriots' all decade team of the 1960s, led them in receiving. Also was part owner of Bachelors III in New York City with the Boston Bruins, Derek Sanderson and the New York Jets, Broadway Joe. It was on the Upper East Side. It was a fucking bye.

It attracted athletes, celebrities and mobsters. So Pete Rosell had to step in and tell them to shut it down because they couldn't be rubbing elbows with the mobsters because they thought they'd start throwing some games. Now, if you're into conspiracy theory, they say that the fucking mobsters were already in bed with the Colts or some shit and they threw Super Bowl III or it was fixed so the NFL could merge with the AFL who knew. I'm just going to do the first 10 cards. All right.

Then one of the toughest guys to ever play and courted to Hank Stram. I swear to God, his first name is Cheryl with an S. Cheryl Hedrick. Guy refused to wear hip pads. There's all kinds of stories of like bones sticking out and Jim just fucking popping his fingers back in. Never missed a snap. One of the toughest guys ever. His name is Cheryl, which then brings me to Jim Dunaway at the Buffalo Bills.

Now, these next two cards are kind of tragic. Jim Dunaway. Now, this is what I find amazing is that in the AFC East, you have two football teams that had two players that allegedly committed murder, two on the Patriots, two on the Buffalo Bills. And this is the interesting thing. Both the players on the Patriots got convicted. Aaron Hernandez that everybody knows.

And then there's another guy, Eric Naposky, who was an imposing force on the football field playing for the New England Patriots. He wasn't. He came up for a cup of coffee. He was there in 88 and 89 when I had season tickets. Eric Naposky had a successful career. He played two years in the NFL and he was gone on May 21st, but that's more than most people do.

2009 Eric's life changed for the worst when he was charged with a murder that took place in December of 1994. Naposky was charged with killing Nanette Johnson's boyfriend, Bill McLaughlin, so that Johnson could collect McLaughlin's life insurance policy. Naposky was convicted of the crime and sentenced to life in prison without parole and is a crazy twist. So was the girlfriend. Usually doesn't happen.

Now, the Buffalo Bills. Now, if you're an NFL player and you feel like committing murder, but you don't want to go to jail, you want to play for the Buffalo Bills. I don't know what kind of lawyers they have. I don't know what the deal is here, but O.J. Simpson, we all know, got away with it. And then there's Jim Dunaway, Jim Dunaway. Once again, another guy who everybody thinks did it, was acquitted and then his own children sued him in a civil suit, which he lost.

It's amazing. So ladies, you know what I mean? You don't want to marry a Buffalo Bill, okay, because they're going to kill you and they're going to get away with it. They might lose some money, though, if that makes you feel better. So look up that story. His wife was found in a pool. She drowned, but they could tell that her, that was, she had bought, I'm going to spare

the details. There were a lot of the injuries that they determined happened before she was placed in the pool and then drowned. And then right after that, because I look up to see if these people are still alive, there's this guy, Bill Munson, who played quarterback forever in the NFL. He just kept getting relegated to, he backed up like Roman Gabriel with the Rams or something like that. And he got to the Lions, who the hell was that quarterback, Landry, I think.

He was behind him. Anyways, he played for a long time, they played like 14, 15 years, and unfortunately, he went out, had a couple of drinks, came home, fell into his pool, and that was it. All right, so there you go. That's what I learned. And I just watched a whole bunch of the football highlights and I got myself a bunch of football cards from 1969 and I'm going through them. And I just looked the guys up, I do it on Wikipedia and on the football reference.

Just because these football cards, I really like them, but what I don't like is they don't have their career stats, which is what I used to love when I was a kid. And this is what I used to look at instead of doing my multiplication tables and learning how to spell and all of that shit. I had great study habits. I just was not studying anything I was supposed to be learning. Yeah, and I remember I was convinced I was going to be a sports announcer because I had that, you know, that little electric game, the vibrating game.

This is before video games. They had this little thing and you just put these guys, it was so weird. And then they had this one was supposed to be the quarterback where it threw like a magnetic football that was supposed to the whole fucking thing didn't work. And you just would set the players up and they would vibrate and move and it just didn't work. And after a while he did was you just never plugged it in again. It was like I got like a griddle, except it vibrated, right?

So what you just end up doing is not using it and you just play with the players like you would army guys and event games. So I would always have the Patriots win. And it was all the Patriots from when I was a kid. There was like Matt Caron and Jim Plunkett and they had all those numbers on there, John Hannah and I imagine, you know, Daryl Stingley and some of those other guys we had from back then. Daryl Stingley, rest in peace.

And then the other team, I don't know if it was the, I don't know what team they were supposed to be because it was weird with the licensing back then. I want to say it was the Giants. How funny is that? Our big nemesis during the Brady years, which I can't believe is now in the past tense. It looked like them. Maybe it was them or it was the Bears. I don't know.

But I had names for all of them that I just made up. I remember one guy was Billy Jackson. He was the toughest guy to get down and he would always go ahead and then I would have the Patriots win. I mean, it's what the fuck you did. You had nothing, you know? And at that, my parents thought I was spoiled because they grew up, they had like fucking slingshots and fucking Tom Sawyer shit.

Anyway, so I had like two days, let's talk some drums here, shall we? I actually had two days where I only had like 45 minutes to play. I can't believe how busy I've been during all of this, but got to keep the plate spinning. I had two days of the most focused and I don't even know what the word is, practiced the most focused and moving forward. God, I'm stupid. What's the fucking word? Most effective.

Jesus Christ, practices. I had back to back days and then in the last couple of days, it wasn't as good because I think I was doing the same thing I do when I have a good set as a comic is like usually the next night I have a bad set or not as good as set because I'm thinking about what I did the night before rather than just being in the moment. So I love the results of those two. So then I started comparing the third day to this is going to happen again. Is it going to happen again?

So of course it doesn't, but I just really slowed everything down and I've just been working on one or two things. I just been doing everything that Davey Litch told me. I'm finally applying it like it took me forever to get it. And then, you know, get a little burned out, then you play a few songs, have a good time, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then you maybe come back to it. And I was actually playing good times, bad times at 84 BPMs, right? The songs at 95.

I was like, Oh my God, I'm getting there. I'm getting there. It's finally happening. And then I was in such a rush to see if that wasn't just a fluke. I don't think I warmed up enough or whatever. And then the next day I could barely play it at 78. But I was just like, all right, don't get frustrated, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I'm looking forward to getting out there in the garage again today.

What I'm really looking forward to is getting back on stage and doing stand up. But until then, I'm just going to learn about 1960s football and play a lot of drums and guitar. I've been playing a little guitar, busted that out. My wife, this is the funny, my wife, my funniest thing ever. Like I was sitting there, you know, and I'm playing all the 80s shit that I grew up with and playing some Cinderella, Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive, you know, little rolling stones. And yeah, right.

I like that shit. It's acoustic guitar, you know, seasons of weather, Aerosmith, you know, just having a good time. And then she just keeps coming and requesting songs. She goes like, she goes, why don't you learn more than words from extreme? So it's like, well, this girl, I don't, all right. So I learned that song and my brother told me that I needed an intervention if I learned that fucking song on guitar.

And you know what I'm going to do now? And it's actually, you know, I'm not shitting on that group because both was it Gary Chiron and Nino Bentoncourt, I can't remember their names, but very talented people every once in a while. You know, you got to have a fucking hit. You got to have one for the chicks. All right, I got to look up more than words. I got to look up these lyrics because as far as I remember, it was basically a guy who

didn't want to say, I love you. So now he's trying to fucking say, oh, saying I love you is not the words I want to hear from you. It's not that I want you not to say, but if you only knew how easy it would be to show me how you feel, more than words is all you have to do to make it real, then you wouldn't have to say that you love me because I'd already know. Well, yeah, because you know what do, because you don't want to say it to her. Listen, I'm not, don't say you love me, you know, you can show it to me and that'll mean

more and I'll do the same to you. And I love that the chicks bought it. What would you do if my heart was torn in two more than words to show you feel that your love for me is real? What would you say if I took those words away, then you couldn't make things new just by saying, I love you either way, this, and maybe he's totally fucking insecure more than words la, dee, da, da, dee, da, dee, da, da. I'm going to tell you something about more than words.

There's more than that bullshit going on in that fucking song. The fuck out of here. Or maybe he realizes that he's in love with the douche and then she does ridiculous things anything from just being selfish to fucking around on him and then, but honey, I love you. Love you. Sorry. Love you. Then he should be writing this song.

You should be getting the fuck out of the relationship either way, either way. There's so many songs that like you just, you listen to like for fucking decades and then just one day you finally really listen to the lyrics. You're like, wait a minute, what the fuck is this guy talking about? Or maybe you're having these experiences in life and you're super imposing them onto the lyrics that these two people wrote and you're 100% wrong. That also could be a thing. All right.

Okay. It's time to do more than words, boop, boop, boop, is all that you can boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. All right. Legal zoom, everybody. Sorry. Now you guys are all going to have that in your heads, but I'm telling you. Just fucking look up the lyrics or whatever.

What would you rather have? Would you rather have, what the fuck is that song? I was listening to, I also like Cinderella, shake me. She said, shake me. Why did she say, shake me? Give her fucking whiplash, right? I said, Chris Rockman, right? Never hit a woman, but I'll shake the shit out of him.

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Oh, by the way, the season four trailer for F is for family. I posted that on my Instagram, gram, gram, gram. I also posted that on my Twitter. And also this week, I also posted the trailer for the king of Staten Island, the Pete Davidson, Marissa Tome, Steve Buscemi, directed by Judd Apatow, movie, talk myself into a corner there. That is going to be coming out on June 12th. Guess what?

They both come out June 12th. You can have an overdose of freckles on June 12th. And it is the deal. I need you guys to watch this shit. All right. I hope that you like them. I think they're both fucking hilarious. The Pete Davidson movie is getting ridiculously positive feedback.

I'm very happy about that because I loved working with all of those guys and watch out for Ricky Velez too. He fucking crushes it in that movie. Standup comedian, who I got to meet on that thing, it's a great time. There's like a lifetime ago with all this fucking shit we're dealing with. So June 12th, it's going to be streaming. All of this shit is streaming. App is for family on Netflix.

And then I'll have all the information where you can watch the king of Staten Island. I saw an early cut of it. It's a really, really good movie. All right. I'm putting that out there. It has my stamp of approval. I wouldn't bullshit you. All right.

If it was just a piece of shit, I would be like, hey, it comes out on June 12th. What's up with the weather? How would you... It would change the subject, but this is a really good movie. And that is for family season four with the great Jonathan Banks playing the part of Frank Murphy's father. And they don't have the best relationships. So there's another one.

So it's kind of cool. They're both coming out on the same day. Overdose of old freckles. All right. I got a promo of a Wondery show, Wondery, who does all the advertising here on this podcast. So there's a podcast that's on the Wondery website here, Business Wars. All right. I'm going to actually listen to this, Amazon vs. Walmart.

Please use your own voice. These points are to guide you. Don't read verbatim. Don't rush. Jesus Christ. I feel like that was only put on my copy. All right. I'm reading all of this.

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that drove their companies to new heights or into the ground. I think me and my lovely wife would enjoy that. In their newest season, they cover Amazon vs. Walmart. Business Wars follows these two enormous retails as they duke it out for retail dominance. I love how they just can't be satisfied with being multi-billionaires. Chances are you have ordered something from these two companies while you've been stuck at home for the last month. More Americans than ever are buying things online.

96% of Americans shop online and almost half of those purchases take place on just one website, Amazon. Yeah. Maybe they started this COVID shit, huh? Who stood the gain as all these fucking businesses are going to go out of fucking business here? 90% of Americans live within 10 miles of a Walmart store. So they've got the distribution network to go toe-to-toe with Amazon when it comes to getting you what you want delivered to your door fast.

This is like when they do make those phony YouTube videos, Alligator vs. Great White Shark or fucking Bear vs. Gorilla. Who would win? This is kind of cool, man. Walmart and Amazon are two of the biggest companies out there, but how big is big? Did you know before Amazon became Amazon, they only sold books? They were originally called Cadabra? That sounds like a brazier for somebody with three nipples.

The Walton family owns Walmart. That owns Walmart are some of the wealthiest people in the country with a combined personal fortune of over $200 billion. Workers inside both companies are rising up, arguing that the retail giants are failing to protect them from the coronavirus, prioritizing the bottom line over workers' health. Business wars looks at how they are both more powerful than ever, but also more vulnerable. It's amazing how this is like the shit that why union started because the bottom line was more important than workers' health.

Business wars takes you behind the scenes as these companies grow from small town startups to global powerhouses. I never understood why businesses like this didn't let their employees share more in the wealth. I can't imagine how much fun it would be to be that successful with your business and you're making billions and billions of dollars and then just like you just share the wealth with your fucking employees. What do you think is going to happen?

Everybody is just going to fucking quit? If I was running one of those fucking things, I would say like, all right, here's the deal. This is like whatever amount of money works. This amount of million, I'm going to give to each one of you employees or whatever, this 100,000, whatever you can afford to fucking do, all right? But before I give it to you, we have a free course on how to manage money that's required and you have to take these tests along the way and pass them, okay, because it's going to break my heart if I'm going to give you this fucking money and you're going to piss

through it at a goddamn casino or whatever the fuck it is you're doing, all right? Now, once I give it to you, it is your money and you get, who is it? Hey! Christopher! What's going on? Good. I want to be goofy. You want me to be goofy?

That's a new thing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, yuck! Doing that all day. You want to go play table? Wait, I need to do dance class and music class. You need to do dance class and music class, okay. All right, beautiful. We just came in to say hi.

Oh, look at you two angels. Did you guys enjoy your breakfast this morning? Like I'm getting that in there that I made your breakfast? Yes. Yeah. You say what a dad. What a dad. You say what a husband.

What a husband. See that, everybody? I am a good guy. I'm a good guy. What do you want to do today? I want to play t-ball and swimming. T-ball and swimming. You want to ride on your tricycle?

Are you getting too big for it? No, I want to keep that for me. Oh, okay. Well, we were wondering when we were going to announce that we were expecting a son. You just let the whole cat out of the bag. You know, I taught my kid everything other than how to keep her mouth shut. You got breakfast. Well, everybody, there you go.

Surprise. Surprise. If I seemed a little on edge, it's because my wife is like eight and a half months pregnant. All right. All right. Well, there you go. That's about as organic an announcement as you could have. Way to go, kid.

Way to steal our thunder. All right. Well, with that. With that. All right. Go enjoy your dance class. Dance class. All right.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. The town cry. Bye. Bye. All right.

Business wars take you, takes you behind the scenes as the companies grow from small town startups to global powerhouses. Oh, what I would say was I would send everybody into, what do you call it? You're like a business class or whatever. And then I would, I would have a clear conscience afterwards. You passed the test. You learned about money. You know how to handle it.

Fuck up your money. That's on you. I don't understand why they, they do what they do to people like, you know, I just don't get, I just don't get treating employees like shit and having them drive all night long and they're slamming into people like, I mean, wasn't that, that's what happened to Tracy Morgan and all of those guys. So driver from one of those companies fucking driving all fucking night long trying to make a deadline or some shit.

Right. Isn't that what happened? Allegedly. I don't know. And I want to get sued here. Anyways, business wars is hosted by David Brown who brought you, we crashed. The outcome of these battles shape what we buy and how we live. Subscribe to business wars on Apple podcasts, Spotify or listen, add free on Wondry Plus.

All right. Oh, no. Wow. Wow. I just, the first fucking, the first fucking, the first fucking question of the week order. Right. Somebody wrote wrong one. Wrong.

Tara Reid, you dope. Biden wasn't hanging around the set of American pie. Tara Reid, R-E-A-D-E was one of his aides. Love you. Love the podcast. Oh, I thought it was the other Tara Reid. I was wondering why, what the fuck he was, no, actually I wasn't. They'd made sense to me.

He's a powerful guy. All right. 2000 years ago, Plato burned comedians and painters alike. Dear Bill Burristol. I just finished listening to the Monday morning podcasts of you and a couple of painters going at each other's throats. After listening to the podcast, I took my 20 minute work break and continued my reading of the Republic of by Plato.

Oh, oh, is that what you, is that what you do during your fucking break? You see what he, oh, oh, oh, we got a scholar here. There was no reason to let me know that this is what you were doing. Okay, let's give you the praise. Wow. You know, with everybody glued to their laptops and their iPads and the flat screens, it's really great to see that somebody is using their 20 minute break to not only read a book, to be reading on the Republic of Plato.

And that's PLATO. Not the shit that you fucking, you know, if you leave the cap off, it dries out and the game's over. It was so, it just so happens that one of the first paragraph I read was Plato essentially shitting on both comedians and painters at the same time. Now that right there sounds like a funny fucking dude, albeit in the context of this page, he is talking about poets and painters of art. If you pretend he's injecting in this argument, it's absolutely, but if you pretend he's

interjecting in this argument, it's absolutely hilarious. What are the chances I'd be listening to your podcast and be reading the passages of a 2,000 year old book at the same time? Anyway, here is the passage in the question and question. I tried to switch the words of poet to comedian so you can get where I'm coming from. All right. Now that I made fun of this guy, this is actually really interesting. And now we may fairly take the comedian and place him by the side of the painter, for he

is like him in two ways. First, in as much as the comedians' creations have an inferior degree of truth. Oh yeah, guilty is charged. In this, I say he is like the painter and he is also like the painter in being concerned with an inferior part of the soul. And therefore we shall be right and refusing to admit him into a well-ordered state because he awakens and nourishes and strengthens the feelings and impairs the reasons. The reason, yeah, this is why they never used to let actors and entertainers or whatever become

politicians because they thought they could fool you. I didn't realize that that's just a public speaking trick. Make you feel your feels rather than be like, well, this guy is the host of a reality show and has had a bunch of failed businesses. Why would we want this running the country? You fucking liberal. Smash cut. One of the good ways to beat the coronavirus is to take household cleaner and inject it into your body.

There's still people arguing for Trump. It's my favorite fuck it. Well, one of the number one reasons I wish this pandemic wasn't going aside from fucking people living week to week, small businesses and all that good shit is I just would be on the road and talk to Trump supporters and be like, please explain to me how you're still behind a guy who said that shit. Please. Anyways, let me continue. As in a city when the evil are permitted to have authority and the good are put out of the way so in the

soul of a man as we maintain the initiative. The iterative poet a.k.a. comedian implants an evil constitution for indulges the irrational nature which has no discernment of greater of greater and less but thinks the same thing at one time great and at another small. This guy was a fucking idiot. This guy sounds like a conservative moron trying to shut down the arts. He is a man. I just called play to a moron. I did.

He is a manufacturer of images and is very far removed from the truth. Wow, but politicians are if you pick like I don't know what background he wanted more of a business background. He goes if that shit doesn't burn, I don't know what does much love and stay safe. No, I didn't take that personally. That kind of just sounds like modern day rhetoric. You know what? I understood what you were saying, but I got more fascinated with this halfway through as this guy. I think maybe because he thought so logically that he just thought art was like frivolous.

He wasn't in the metaphors or shit like that. I don't know. I don't know anything about this guy, but that just kind of came off like a conservative pamphlet from like a week ago. But I got to tell you, I mean, he's not wrong. He's not wrong. We had Jimmy Carter in there putting solar panels on the White House saying we were addicted to oil keeping us out of the fucking Middle East. And then what happened? Then we got an actor in there next.

He fucking took them down fucking suck the fucking dick of the oil companies. And now here we are. Lazy Jay Cutler. I'm not saying it's just him because everybody else was doing that. Jimmy Carter was what? When are they going to do the biopic on Jimmy? Jimmy Carter, when are they going to do that? There's no way to do it because they'll just say it's just Hollywood liberalism.

But that guy was seriously is seriously a, you know, if every politician was like him. I don't know. It's why I like Bernie Sanders. I like that guy. I like guys like that, whether they lean right or left. I just like people that give a full, because there's some Republicans out there that are actually talking about the little guy. And you know what? It seems anyways that it's coming from the heart, not just telling people what they want to hear.

Lazy Jay Cutler. Hey, Billy Bolshevik. Since you're a lefty and I love it. Bolshevik, Bolshevik. I don't know what that means. Is that fucking Slovakian for left-handed? Wanted to take, wanted to get your take on Jay Cutler's now ex-wife calling him lazy for not wanting to get a job. The man played in the NFL for 11 years and led the league in sacks taken in 2010 with 52.

Meanwhile, his privileged wife has been nothing but a reality show star her whole life and you use that to start a shitty fashion line probably with his money. Well, that's a pretty good guess considering they don't pay those reality TV stars shit unless they're able to spin it into other stuff. Like I know Pauly D is making bank as a DJ, which makes me really happy because I fucking root for all of these people, man. I don't want to see you fucking get on one of these shows, become this person and then they make all the money. You don't make any money. So I was very happy like when I would back when you used to do live shows when I would go to Vegas or go to Atlantic City and I'd see a billboard for Pauly D. I'd be like, that's fucking cool. Good for him.

Good for him. Go go make a bunch of fucking money. Cutler made over 100 million when he was a player. He needs to work like you need to like you do with your Netflix millions. Okay, that last part was just fucking with you since I know you have a soft spot for that. You earn that dough. That's right. And I don't begrudge anybody that earned their money.

You know, that's a fucking people who do that to people are losers who never went after a fucking dream. That's their thing. So then what happens is, is when you're going after your dream early on, they shit on it. And then when you make a don't go forgetting it. And then when they get into financial straights, they try to make you feel guilty because you worked your ass off. Yeah, you got money for gifts to around Christmas must be nice. Must all that bullshit. It's all it's all that that's that blue collar guilt that you can fucking turn it up sideways and shove it straight up your candy ass.

I have no guilt. Cheers and go fuck yourself. Your daughter has the cutest voice I've ever heard and you're lucky to have such a beautiful family. Yes, I am a growing family. All right, let's look this in Jay Cutler. Open the link. Good. Good.

Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Good. Good. Tomorrow he's going to be Jim Cutler because he was unmotivated. Oh, boy. Kristen Cavallari is divorcing Jay Cutler apart because she's sick of the former NFL star lying around the house. Page six is told the hill star married cutler in two thousand thirty 13. And we're told she thought he was lined up for a demanding career as us. And we're told she thought he was lined up for a demanding career as a sports broadcaster after he hung up his cleats.

But sources say that after his broadcasting career faltered, the ever ambitious Cavallari, who announced in late April the pair were splitting, found him unmotivated and even lazy while he found that he had a penchant for hanging out with their three kids and menagerie of animals on their Tennessee farm. She was growing increasingly impatient with him. He was supposed to take this big job at Fox Sports and have a life after football that would get him up off the couch and do something, said an insider. Instead, he backed out. This is three years ago and joined the Miami Dolphins that didn't pan out well. And he was left with no TV gig until she got the show for them. 2017 after eight seasons with the bear cutley retired to pursue a broadcasting career, then came out of retirement and spent one injury March season with the dolphins.

The couple moved on to star in the e-reality series, very Cavallari. Oh boy. It's her last name. Oh brother. Oh brother. Well, he picked the, he picked her, which follows her jewelry business and their family and has so far aired for three seasons. The source added the Cavallari views herself as a very polished and put together and cutler as this lazy, unmotivated guy. Cutler has lately been mulling another attempt at a broadcasting career and according to their reality show has had offers from CBS and ESPN.

When she announced the breakup, Cavallari wrote an Instagram with great sadness. After 10 years together, we have come to a loving conclusion to get a divorce. She said, it's just the situation of two people growing apart reps didn't get back to us. Well, I mean, if that's what she says, she's not saying lazy. I don't, I don't know what the fuck she said. I have no fucking idea. It's not like she's laying around doing nothing though. She has a jewelry line.

She's been a reality show star. She's going, going, going. And maybe it worked when they were both at work. I don't fucking know. I have no idea. But either way, that sucks when that happens, especially when there's kids involved. I mean, you know, I don't, I don't know what I don't know. I'm not going to fuck it.

I don't know her from Adam. I don't know him. It's a sad thing. I hope the kids are all right. There you go. Sorry. You want me to do the old gold digging whore thing? I've done that a million fucking times.

All right. Advice quarantine breakup. I mean, there's a lot of football fans out there that would say that Jay Cutler is lazy. So I don't fucking know. I don't, and I wouldn't, I wouldn't. All right. God bless them both. I hope they come to an amicable fucking thing and they think about the kids first.

All right. Advice quarantine breakup. Oh boy. Hey, hey there. Billy beef curtains. I have decided it's time to break up my girlfriend at two years. The only reason I haven't already are that my parents love her and I don't want to send her into a downward spiral of depression.

See what happens when you choose what other people want rather than what you want. Anyways, what she has a history of. I am well versed in your podcast breakup advice. So I know that those are not valid reasons to stay in our relationship. Things were already bad before quarantine. So I know that the COVID isn't the issue here. However, how does your advice translate translate to these capital letters? Uncertain times.

We do not live together. Nice. We are both staying with our families. Beautiful. We go to the same college with the same major, which is how we met. How do you advise executing the breakup in the quarantine? Do I still go for the in-person delivery or can I get away with the FaceTime call? And how do you advise dealing with being around each other at college whenever we go back?

You're the best build. Thanks for all you do. Well, usually I would say do it face to face. Can you break up with her from six feet away? Well, wait a minute. Have you guys seen each other at all during the quarantine? Because if you have been, then I would try to do it face to face. I would just have a mask on to hide your smile when you break up with her, kidding.

Yeah, dude, just fucking do it. Just do it. Her issues are not your issues because somebody's fucking going to take it hard and take it bad or they're depressed. That's not your fucking problem. All right. If you really were in love and this was the right fucking person, none of this shit would be issues. But if you're not in love with them, you're just wasting their fucking time, which is the most depressing fucking thing you can do to somebody. All right.

And then how do I advise dealing with being around each other at college when you go back? I would just be friendly, be pleasant. Don't get drawn back into it. If she just, if she goes the, you know, women do that thing where they do the vengeance. I got to get him back. I got to start fucking his friend. I got to spread rumors, whatever the fuck she's going to do. Just, you know, if she does do any of that shit, just, you know, and your friends, oh, she said this, this and this about just shrug your shoulders to be like, I mean, she misses my dick.

I mean, I don't know what to tell you, you know, no, I don't just. My thing is whenever I broke up with somebody, I always tried to stay away from them to give them a chance to just do whatever. And then also to just try to avoid as much as that, that, you know, the shit that women can do. But you definitely should break up with her if that's what you want to do. You should definitely fucking do it. And her being depressed and all of that shit is not your fucking problem. It just isn't. All right.

Her Majesty blowjob question. Hey, Billy burnt tits. I didn't even know what that means. My buddy has been taking, been asking this same question at parties before Corona. The answer always seems to be pretty evenly split and causes some lively debate. So here it is. Do you think the Queen of England? Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth has given 50 blowjobs in her life.

It can be the same dick. Just 50 blowjobs total. I said no way. Isn't it illegal to touch the Queen? Yeah, I doubt she's out there looking for a dick to gag on. Please keep ripping on painters. They're always in the fucking way on the job sites. Sure.

They feel the same about you know, whatever your vocation is. Let's see here. 50 blowjobs. Yeah, you know, those fucking rich white people are all freaks. She's probably sucked a dick wearing a goat head. I don't know. Why wouldn't she 50? She's like 130.

She gave one blowjob every nine years. She'd still be above. No, that wouldn't work. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah, I think she did. I absolutely think she did. I can't even believe you're debating that.

Unless her first husband died really quickly and she never got over it, never dated again. I don't know. That's a weird question. I can't believe that sparked lively debate. I'm trying to remember who the fuck she is. Is she still alive? I don't know. Who gives a fuck?

All right. Overrated, underrated. Overrated. From a lady. She absolutely did. She's the mom of Charles. Right? Aren't they all fucking around and then they fucking get a mistress and then they fucking leave and then they get excommunicated out of the thing and then they get a beg their way back.

Then they go to fucking Canada. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You're in a fucking bubble. Everybody looking at you. You're sitting there sweating it every day. At what point is this whole thing going to go away with this royalty bullshit? They're going to take this house and never had a job in my life.

It makes you nervous. Stress, you know, sex gets rid of stress. Yeah. North of 500 blow jobs. All right. Overrated, underrated. From a lady. Hey, Billy, ballad banging baldy locks.

I've been married for 14 years and my husband and I are in our late 40s. Hands down, overrated is sleeping in the same goddamn bed with your spouse every night. After time and aging, my husband started to snore. He probably put on weight. I'm a lighter sleeper, so I begin to crawl into the guest room for a few uninterrupted hours of sleep. This didn't go over well at first, but the nose strips, taping his leg with my foot or poking him didn't help with the snoring either. One night, a huge heated argument erupted in the guest room. He stormed.

We have made up, we've since made up, however, we are still sleeping in separate rooms. That's great. And it's the best goddamn sleep we've both had in a long time. That's perfect. Who made this rule that spouses have to sleep side by side every night? I don't think it's in the Bible, is it? There are so many other ways to connect with your partner. Totally overrated.

Enjoy every moment of quarantine with your baby girl. It goes by so fast. Thanks for listening and go fuck yourself. I 100% agree with that. 100%. Back in my booze in days, I'd come to bed hammered and I would snore and my wife would go in the guest room. And I never had a problem with it. And you know, my wife isn't a snorer, but if I get overly tired, I can or if I way more,

if I'm in the buck 80s instead of the 170s of the buck 60s, I can snore a little bit or if I'm overly tired. And that's a terrible thing to do to somebody. It ruins the next day of their life. And that could be the last day, everybody. Okay. There we go. That is the podcast, everybody. God bless you.

Thanks for listening. June 12th. F is for family. June 12th, the king of Staten Island. Double shot of old freckles. All right. Don't sleep on your old NFL knowledge there. Your history.

All right. I'm going to read some Play-Doh. This guy is very interesting to me. I bet he was liberal as fuck back then. Maybe that wasn't considered conservative. I have no idea. I don't even know where it was. Was he was he in green?

I got to look up Play-Doh. I'm not going to start reading Play-Doh. There's no way to bring up that you read Play-Doh without somebody be like outright. All right. We get it. We get it. I don't like reading that old shit because it's like in English, but it's written weird, like Shakespeare.

It's just like, I don't even know what the fuck they're talking about. It must be the amazing day when finally you get all of that shit and you can actually sit down and read those stories. But it's like Romeo and Juliet. It's like a fucking chick flick, isn't it? I don't know. That's probably not. That's not fair.

Is it because nothing else was done? Oh, I didn't talk about Little Richard. Little Richard. A couple of things here. Rest in peace, Little Richard. Without a doubt, one of the greatest who ever did it. And just, I mean, what would you do? The first rock star?

I'd say Little Richard and Elvis were the first, they were like the blueprint and I don't do that shit. Oh, you took from this guy and he took from everybody. Everybody takes from everybody. It's so fucking. Oh, I'm so sick of that argument that all music comes from the blues and jazz. It's just like, and what were they listening to? There wasn't any music before them.

Like the ignorance of that and not giving credit to shit morphing into other stuff. I just don't understand that. Like that would be like me as a white person taking credit for low riders because Henry Ford is the Delta blues of fucking making cars. Get the fuck out of here. That's some Latino shit. They came up with it. It's fucking amazing.

White people never would have done that. You know, I saw somebody was, oh, the Jerry Lee Lewis stole everything. But it's like, you don't think he was also listening to Hank Williams? I'm supposed to sit here and think Jerry Lee Lewis was playing chopsticks. And then fucking what's his face comes along and then immediately he fucking Little Richard comes along and then all of a sudden in one year he learns how to play piano like that. I mean, everybody listens to fucking everybody. And it's such, it's so fun.

I saw that on Twitter. Can't somebody just die? And you can just say he was one of the greatest of all time without shitting on somebody else. It's fucking horrific. They all, they all serve a fucking purpose. They're all fucking amazing and they're all way more talented than me. So I'm not going to criticize any of them. All right.

God bless anybody who comes up with something fucking creative. Having said that, though, I mean, I mean, that guy's at the, he's at the top. I'd have to say that guy is at the fucking top as far as the performance, the voice, the screaming, all of that. I mean, just, and I know that his drummer, I forget who his drummer was. I forget what song I used to know all of this shit when I was psycho into music. There's a beginning of one of the Little Richard songs and it's the drumming thing. That's the beginning of the Led Zeppelin rock and roll.

And Bonham was playing it because he was a fan. And I guess Jimmy Page came in and said, Hey, what's that? And he goes, Oh, it's this little Richard's thing, little Richard thing. And I don't know why Led Zeppelin did that. They go, Oh, let's just, let's just take that. And then they didn't give anybody credit. That's why they got into so much fucking trouble because what they did with all the blue songs is that they made him completely fucking different. But like, you have to still say that this is a cover of that song.

They eventually fucking did it, but I don't know. I don't know why they chose to do that. But anyway, plowing ahead here, everybody fucking takes from everybody. You know, am I nuts? Am I nuts here? Why did I get involved in this fucking argument? It's just when everybody takes from everybody, but one is in control of the fucking historical narration. That's when it becomes bad.

That's what I don't agree with. I don't agree with people not getting fucking credit, but I also don't agree with saying that like just one over correcting. And then just saying, okay, this side just did everything and then this side didn't do shit. It's just like I said, it's the fucking lowrider analogy. You either agree with it or you don't. I don't give a fuck. I don't know why I brought this up. It was a great podcast and I probably fucked it up here in the end.

All right, go fuck yourselves. This is pandemic bill signing off, telling you to, if you have, I can't say what I want to say. If I can't say what I want to say here, I know there's a lot of people out there that have weapons that are not lethal. And I was going to suggest using them on a certain maskless group of the population, but I don't condone that. All right, go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday. Do not do what I just suggested comedically. Okay. I'm not advocating that.

01:12:37,580 --> 01:12:38,580 Okay. Thank you for watching. Please subscribe and like. Thank you. Thanks for watching. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.