Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 5-16-22

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

Bill rambles about Northern California, fasting, and home remedies....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey what's going on it's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday May 16th 2022. How's it going man? How are you? I am Taylor two cities. Taylor Red Teddy's over here for Old Freckles. Two game sevens this weekend for the Boston sports fan because you know what the deal is we're always in it man. Oh sorry. Bad news first the Boston Bruins lose to the Carolina Hurricanes formally known as the Hotfoot Wailas. I know it was a great series it went seven games and they were games where we look like the better team and then games where they look like the better team and it was a pretty
Starting point is 00:01:00 hard fought series I thought you know at the end of the day I did think Carolina was you know faster more skilled better team or whatever but the fact that we took them seven games and scared the shit out of them right to the very end you know Bruins team showed a lot of hat so maybe you know they had a couple of pieces and next year who knows so I was happy I still have a Bruins hoodie on today and then the good news your Boston Celtics win another playoff series win another game seven and advance past the defending champion Milwaukee Bucks. Yeah you know what I got to be honest with you I usually get
Starting point is 00:01:47 nervous on a game seven but I saw the look on Jason Tatum's face after they went around the garden they showed all the legends that were there I remember the last one they showed we had Danny Ainge there but he still works for the team but Cedric Maxwell cornbread Maxwell was there from the famous 1981 team get on my back I'll carry you he was there did I see ML Carr I don't know I had kids running around me trying to get the game on but I just saw the look on Tatum's face and I was just like this guy is not gonna let us lose and I got to be honest with you how about Grant Williams the guy I'm always talking about
Starting point is 00:02:30 who can't get a fucking call to go his way first time ever in his Celtic career he was the high scorer and the man does it in a game seven to close out the defending champion Milwaukee Bucks Peyton Pritchard was big down the stretch with a bunch of threes Al Horford played out of his mind this series Jalen Brown Jalen Brown is always and I don't know man I think you know we got as good as shot as the heat do I know the heat always have a good team so I don't know anything about those guys but I'm really excited you know what it sucks to be all the way out here in LA when the Celtics and Bruins have a game seven the
Starting point is 00:03:12 atmosphere in Boston must have been great but I will tell you one of the best things about the Celtics winning another playoff series out here is right after they win they go to the local you know sports show that has former Laker great Michael Cooper on it and he hates the Celtics like no one I've ever seen and it was so awesome he just would not give it up to the Celtics he's like oh if they had Middleton they had Middleton you know Bucks win this series and all this stuff and all he was talking about was how the Bucks blew it he didn't talk about the incredible game that the Celtics played or the incredible series
Starting point is 00:03:53 that they played you know I mean if you want to talk about blowing something we blew that was that the game four we blew that one was it game four it was a game three we had him one of those games we let it slip away in the fourth quarter so I mean I don't know what he was talking about I just makes me so happy that he hates the Celtics and knowing that the Celtics one is really bothering him made it even though he didn't say he didn't say one thing he's just like oh you know if you're gonna leave him open like that I mean look he's wide oh you can knock that down all day oh yeah oh yeah is that how it is
Starting point is 00:04:35 Michael we'll see all right so who knows Michael Cooper's not happy which means the Celtics fans are which is awesome we are advancing to the Eastern Conference finals very excited about that and the Red Sox actually won a series I think we took two out of three from the Rangers I missed all the games because I was on the road but I was keeping track of them and I saw that the Yankees finally lost and so I text Verzi yesterday I'm like dude yank last time Yankees played they played they're playing the Orioles today you got a fucking barium you got to put a bet and he goes they already won today I was like fuck that was the game that was
Starting point is 00:05:23 the layup so anyways congratulations the Boston Celtics and great great year for the for the Bruins I definitely think we're moving in the the right direction we're always in there and I know we lost in the first round but I'm still you know optimistic about the direction that we're going in and also the fact that Tuka Rusk retired so we had all new blood in goal I think we're doing all right all right plowing ahead here I am still doing the intermittent fasting it and intermittent fasting I haven't stepped on the scale I was a buck 82 and a half last time I got on the scale I'd like to be 10 pounds lighter so I've
Starting point is 00:06:10 been doing that and I gotta be honest with you after like two days you just sort of settle into it it's not that big a deal eight hours eating 16 hours are not eating so like right now I haven't eaten yet geez my kids are louder than hell today let's see here I have yeah 13 hours 29 minutes oh I have to go 16 hours so I still have two and a half hours to go what oh yeah it's eight in the morning that's right I can eat around 10 oh Jesus but you know it's been good for like no late night eating which is huge especially when you're on the road you're depressed you know I miss my wife I miss my kids let's see here I
Starting point is 00:06:57 guess I could talk about the the friggin trip I just had amazing trip I did Sacramento Fresno in Oakland California and I went out with Dean del Rey and he's he's from up there so he was excited to get back up there and we just sort of walked around like every town like the first day I flew up to Sacramento landed day of the show so I kind of sequestered myself in the hotel room right and went out did the shows at the first show my god lunatics lunatics first not lunatics it was just like three or four lunatics I had a debate with the guy about Tom Brady deflate gate this is in Sacramento California and fucking what is it
Starting point is 00:07:50 it's in May of 2022 so I effortlessly shut him the fuck up once I told him the whole fucking details of that goddamn case and then also I asked him what he was and he was a Raiders fan I'm like oh the Raiders what is your what is your motto if you ain't cheating you ain't trying shut the fuck up imagine a Raider fan bringing up cheating just imagine that oh those fucking babies and they talk about the tuck rule and of course oh that that that that fucking roughing the passer in 1970s say no fucking problem with that one that one that helped him go to the Super Bowl that in the fact that Franco Harris and
Starting point is 00:08:33 Rocky Blyre both went down in the same game yeah those all those three down you know that no thanks to the Steelers well that's actually a bad example that's just an injury but literally shit fucking call gave the Raiders the game in 1976 a shit fucking rule at least ours was a rule it's a stupid rule I don't agree with it I think it's a fucking fumble and a Raider fan will then say we'll just pinch that part out there and ignore the roughing the passer rule anyway then I was talking about abortion and some woman brought up you know rape babies you know then got into that debate and then then then that topics on
Starting point is 00:09:18 the table and that's my job now I have to riff about rape babies thanks a lot lady acting like you were at the fucking Senate or wherever the hell it is that they pass laws in this country and then I had somebody else over on the I don't know what they were I don't know I'm putting together a new hour whenever I put together a new hour I'm like heavily trashing women I don't know why this happens I think because I don't have any material I go into a defensive mode so the old index fingers point at everybody else and not myself so you know it is what it is eventually by the time I shoot my special I'm pointing more at
Starting point is 00:09:53 myself it becomes a more balanced hour and 15 minutes but right now I'm gonna tell you we're a little fucking top-heavy and this weekend when I go to Florida yes you can look forward to that although I don't think it's I don't think I'm considered misogynistic in Florida I think I'm considered wholesome and have hemp family values I don't know how it works down there I don't pretend to understand Florida I mean when you're a state that actually confuses people it even you confuse the rest of the South when the rest of the South is going hey you might want to dial it back a little there I mean you
Starting point is 00:10:31 know you're getting after it and you know I don't fault the people of Florida okay if every time I walked out to my mailbox I have to like look for a body of water where literally a dinosaur could come out of it chomp on my leg and start doing death rolls as he spins my leg out of my fucking hip socket you know I'll also fuck it up a brand-new pair of wranglers you know I don't need that shit I don't need that shit I'm at that's just that's insanity by the way condolences you got to do this every year to Toronto Maple Leaf fans somebody sent me the funniest fucking picture and I just I couldn't post it just because
Starting point is 00:11:18 it's just like Maple Leaf fans go through enough you know those two guys that carry out the cup every year wearing white gloves somebody Photoshop the Stanley Cup out of the photo and put a golf bag that was in the Toronto Maple Leafs colors with the Maple Leaf insignia oh my god brutal by the way very quietly because it is you know hockey and no one really pays attention to it very quietly the Tampa Bay Lightning are going for a three-peat when was the last time somebody won three Stanley Cups in a row well boy boy howdy I'll tell you that was when that was the 80 81 82 83 82 83 any 182 83 yeah that was
Starting point is 00:12:17 the last time someone won three in a row and that team actually won four in a row from 1980 to 1983 the New York Islanders with the late great Mike bossy one four in a row one four in a row but no one has won three in a row since then there's been people winning back-to-back like Edmonton went back to back in 84 85 87 88 who else the penguins won 91 92 Detroit won like 97 98 then it gets foggy for me brain gets older and I don't remember I want to say the penguins did they go back to back in the 2000s or 2000 teens I can't remember I don't know but it's been a while it's been a long fucking time since since
Starting point is 00:13:12 old freckles was 15 years old since the last time somebody won three Stanley Cups in a row and I got to tell you now that the Maple Leafs are because it wants to Bruins lose I root for the fucking Maple Leafs you know what I mean you got to do it they're the greatest fans in sports and I don't think you can argue it considering I'm gonna be 54 years old next month and the fucking Maple Leafs have not won it in my lifetime and these guys are like still selling out every single game and it's the hardest ticket to get you have to literally go up there and go scalp tickets I know somebody you know that
Starting point is 00:13:53 was working for the NHL network and I said hey I'm in Toronto can you get me tickets he goes dude I have it I have a hookup with every single city except that one you can't get it even the NHL can't get him you got to stand outside and scalp tickets I mean you would think that they would they were winning a cup every other year out there 54 years and this is what fascinates me is the Rangers their drought was from 1940 to 1994 that was 54 years and people were chanting 1940 at them and making t-shirt Islander fans and all of them were doing that just torturing them and I'll show you how this is why Canada has the
Starting point is 00:14:36 reputation for being for the perception of being nice is nobody is chanting 1967 at him is it because it's all 1967 if it was 1970 but that that 1955 but they didn't even chant that to the fucking the Red Wings and the Red Wings went 65 they went like 42 years or whatever what I'm saying right now what you guys think is is is like a like you're cursed how many years at this point I think you got it you got to go half a cent when there's 30 fucking teams well like say like the NFL there's 32 fucking teams so if you win one once every three decades you can't your average that's average once every three
Starting point is 00:15:30 decades so you'd have to go at least 50 years before anybody could say you're fucking cursed nobody even says the Browns are cursed there's no story there's no Billy goat there's no fucking you know they they sold Jim Brown to go fucking you know make a musical down there in Toledo nothing nothing it's just they have not won they won an NFL title in 1965 I want to say 64 65 and I got to be honest with you I count that fucking thing this whole thing where you don't count championships until Super Bowls is the stupidest fucking thing ever so you're telling me Jim Brown auto Grammy telling me these guys weren't
Starting point is 00:16:14 champions yeah the fuck out of you you know but the fucking you know Yankees and and fucking Canadians can count titles all the way back to a hundred years ago with the Canadians doesn't make any sense to me I always just found it weird well Bill we realize that because you brought it up 9,000 times all right well until people start walking around saying the Green Bay Packers are the fucking Yankees Canadians Celtics and fucking Patriots no I can't say Patriots dealers that's the same fucking sport yeah that they Packers are yeah they're the greatest they won like four Super Bowls in like
Starting point is 00:16:56 11 NFL titles I mean they've won in every fucking era all right sorry I've got my get my period here let me just let's talk about some fun shit so the next day after we after I do my rape baby early show and then the second show they were just it was fucking butterman it was amazing both shows were awesome but the second show was incredible so I'm walking around Sacramento a city that really gets a bad reputation you know I'm not gonna lie to you I went by two bail bonds you know offices and a Scientology building in like fucking three blocks it's just like wow you can get into all kinds of shit all kinds of
Starting point is 00:17:35 shit out here by the way Scientology doesn't does I don't know my out of my mind I feel like it gets more shit than it deserves you know what you guys do if I see find out I secretly joined no I think it gets more shit than it deserves you know first fucked up as they say it is for as culty as it is I got one question where are the bodies where are they I mean I'm just saying it's like a sports fan I need to see the hardware as a former Catholic I mean we got bodies stacked up we got pedophilia we got we got torture we have crusades well what do they got little mind control couple of fucking
Starting point is 00:18:23 disgruntled sitcom stars I just don't see I don't see it it's like people trash in Russia can you believe they invaded that country yeah that's what powerful countries do you haven't noticed that don't you see a similarity in what they're doing and possibly maybe another country that you might know a little better might have done not condoning not condoning any of that by the way so we ended up the next day we were driving down to Fresno so I had a nice morning and I found this pipe and tobacco store that was right next to the original tower records in the tower section which I had never been to in
Starting point is 00:19:14 Sacramento so we went down there I got a coffee I became a coffee drinker somehow when make while making this movie every once in a while I'll tell you know when you're old when you find one pistachio in the pocket of your sweatpants I mean tell me that's not some old man shit I'll save this for later I mean I know my kids don't eat pistachios because I can't blame them like they dropped it on the floor and I picked it up anyway yeah kind of became a coffee drinker and actually really like it now what do I go with I go with the cappuccino I get excited if they do the little design and my goal as a new coffee drinkers I'm
Starting point is 00:20:01 never gonna have a cup of Starbucks just not I think it was a good idea it just fucking got out of control I just look at them like they have to be like the Burger King of like coffee you know I mean not knocking up you know a burger Burger King but you know if there's a better one a mom and pop one around the corner like I went to who's it I went to Fulton Street coffee in Fresno and at an absolutely delicious cup of coffee I forget what the name of the place where I got the coffee was in Sacramento but actually I went to Sacramento me and Dean I got bought a little cigar and I had the fucking the cappuccino so you
Starting point is 00:20:46 know I was flying right fucking caffeine and tobacco I'm walking down like one of those little side streets in the tower section had all these great houses great neighborhood a couple of classic cars Dean posted a bottom was under see there was a stew to Baker there was a first-generation F-100 the front end before the Sanford and Sun front end so a late 40s Ford and there was one other one I can't remember what it was it was a dodge I think it was a dodge or something like that but we walked up just incredibly peaceful street houses perfect little size like original ones you could tell like mid-century ones I think no a
Starting point is 00:21:32 mid-century is those weird-looking ones the Brady Bunch style house it wasn't like that it was like before that just sat there like you know you know talking about comedy and all of this shit and Dean telling me about living up that way and I just smoking a cigar I had a great time and ubered back it's funny we got the same Uber driver both ways and we cruise down to Fresno Fresno which is one of my favorite fucking cities it's I don't know I just like it it's a great pop level of population downtown areas not like you know it's quiet and I know they go through their struggles I know they got all kinds of shit going on up
Starting point is 00:22:16 there but it's still really good people up there I took a picture this posted on my stories this incredible mural up there which just said Fresno almost looked like a stamp or something like that and then within the letters it had like you know the that classic theater that I always want to call the the Warner theater or something like that I think that's what it was was right next to that Fulton Street coffee but and I played a theater there remember a long time ago I got to find out which one I played but I know Kinnison played that one but I was at a different venue but anyway we went to the CVS right next door to it right
Starting point is 00:22:56 it's a couple of homeless people fucking sleeping out front and some guy standing there right typical one of these fucking cities that is just like America's kind of turn in a blind eye to right but great people right so we fucking go in there and I'll tell you when you get a city that starts struggling financially even when you go into the chain they don't get the bet the same shit I go in the CVS to go buy some some fucking vitamin C gummies they don't have the 500 milligram they don't have the 750 they're only giving them 250 250 milligrams I buy him and I eat him and they taste fucking weird there's
Starting point is 00:23:35 just something about them they were gummies and Dean tried a couple those things taste weird right go yeah I go I go that's Fresno that's Fresno vitamin C there's something going on there feel like they don't want this city to make it so I left it on the table at the coffee place figure some homeless guy could come by and grab it so he doesn't get scurvy then we walked we walked back to the hotel we went to a minor league ballpark where Leonard Skinnerd was playing so they had their whole fucking stage was set up and all that it was fucking awesome and and then we went by a pawn shop and they had an entry level
Starting point is 00:24:19 sonar kit in the window and then they also had a they had one of those Apollo three-speed bikes from when I was a kid with the the slick on the back and the small attire on the front it was a 1968 which was the year I was born guy wanted way too much money for it they're going for like six seven hundred bucks the guy wanted like he's saying two grand which is so funny like two grand for that and then you just go on eBay it's like that's funny this one's six hundred seventy five bucks and it's in better condition but anyway so and once again I got a coffee there had the oh no that was Fresno yeah that was Fresno that was the
Starting point is 00:25:01 next day that was the second day and we just walked all around there looking at the architecture and all of it it just looked like what a city looked like when I was a kid in the early 70s and I mean that in a good way and I'm gonna call my agent at some point I would love to do a run there like the Warner theater go to a minor league game and you know maybe finally go to Yosemite after that maybe bring the kids up and everybody everybody can go over there that could be really cool and then the last day we went to we did the Oracle in Oakland with a Golden State Warriors used to play and all these amazing bands had
Starting point is 00:25:47 performed there and I was thinking of all the basketball players I saw when I was growing up knowing they all played in there you know Dr. J Larry Magic Michael Sidney Moncrief Tree Rollins Moses Malone George Gervin Daryl Dawkins Mocheaks Andrew Tony that great fucking team world be free Jack Sigma Rick Roby Eric Ferdstein I'm going really super obscure here or Orlando Woolrich I haven't named one warrior yet dare I say will Chamberlain maybe back towards the end of his career when he played for the Lakers all of those guys with their short shorts were in there playing above the rim I think the 74 and 76
Starting point is 00:26:49 championship teams were one in that building and then every fucking band every band the speed metal scene started up that way and all of those bands ended up headlining that place and then all freckles was there I tell you what's really cool about that place is they have a hole in the wall Dirk Nowitzki after a playoff loss to Golden State picked up a fucking trash can and I swear to God threw it like 30 feet in the fucking air and put a hole in the wall up there and they put a piece of hard plastic over it and then they put like one of the NBA final t-shirts that the the fans wore right above it to
Starting point is 00:27:31 sort of mark the year that it was I thought that was really cool Dirk Nowitzki a champion himself for the Dallas Mavericks Mark Aguirre played in that building Isaiah Thomas Thomas Thomas Bill Lampier Mark Mohorn Vinny Johnson Scotty Pippen a right bill we get it Dominique Wilkins David Thompson all right I don't know why downtown Freddie Brown Dennis Johnson there's like 52 year old right now going yeah I had that poster and we got to play it but before we went there we actually went to Oakland and all the years I was doing stand-up I always played San Francisco and I never played out in
Starting point is 00:28:35 Oakland Oakland was more the black comedian circuit and white guys went to San Francisco that's how it was it was segregated and I never fucking walked around Oakland and I was there downtown Oakland and I absolutely fucking loved it I went down I got some barbecue fucked up by getting the hot the hottest version of it I was thinking they for some reason they were they were gonna have it on the side and they didn't they just took a paint roll and put it all over all of it but I toughed it out had some delicious brisket ribs and chicken went with the three three meat platter couldn't finish it dropped it off for
Starting point is 00:29:15 the homeless should have left a vitamin water for him but I had a great time there and then we went out we did the Oracle could not have had a better time shout out to Gretchen fellow Masshole treatness right get got me some cigars and afterwards they had a private room in there with a Metallica pinball machine and then you walked into like this speakeas and you could like smoke a cigar in the Oracle it was amazing the crowd was amazing all the crowds throughout that whole tour was just fucking awesome and I already miss it like I want to go back there and I was just telling my wife how I wanted to
Starting point is 00:29:54 maybe go up there and maybe stay in San Francisco I do some punchline gigs then we could go over the bridge into Oakland and check out what's going on over there because I know I don't know all the nerds bought up San Francisco so all the fucking white people on the line had to move into Oakland which pushed the black people you know I always fucking happens it's so stupid I don't understand it I was actually joking on stage that the white people that got pushed out of San Francisco should hire the homeless as hit men to kill the nerds and every day if they they got to bring three heads or three nerd heads over the bridge
Starting point is 00:30:38 and then they get this stipend and once you clear out enough of them or the nerds get the message to stop buying the Silicon Valley then they can move back and then Oakland can be what it was I'm pitching that knowing nothing about that part of the country all right let me read let me read some advertising here for this week all right look who it is everybody it's old policy genius reshopping your home and auto service with policy genius could lead to savings that can put that can put toward that you can put towards your next home Reno I love Reno oh renovation that's what they mean or do it yourself project if your
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Starting point is 00:32:46 went into San Fran even though I know they don't call you see what did it say friend hire a couple homeless if you can to cut their heads off so you can move back and everybody re-settles and drink some coffee and leaves a couple of shit stains all right me undies I love going up to San Francisco and calling it San Fran they're like nobody calls it in they call it Frisco it's either that way or the other way around no one cares what you call it all right Frisco as bad as Frisco is nothing is worse than the land for Cleveland the land the Berg all those Rust Belt cities just struggling still looking for an identity they used
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Starting point is 00:35:45 don't have it in this economy these burglars are getting pretty goddamn bulls you guys know I love the break-in protection that my simply safe home security system gives me but it's not always outside forces that you need simply saves protection from this is Joshua's story this is his story everybody listen believe Joshua a simply safe customer from Indiana a few months ago oh a few months ago he fell asleep with pizza roll still in the oven I you know I've read this like three times what in the fuck is a pizza roll it sounds to me like you're just eaten dough but he has it in the oven
Starting point is 00:36:29 does that mean he like took it out too soon pizza rolls frozen I'm guessing that's what he had oh shit those are like hot pockets with pizza filling wow I'm gonna guess this guy has a lot of sodium in his diet he fell asleep with pizza rolls still in the oven this could have been disastrous yeah he could have burned him thousands of dollars in damage to his kitchen and home or worse luckily Joshua believe Joshua has a comprehensive simply safe system oh my god I mean if you died because you fell asleep and your fucking pizza rolls caught on fire I mean that's one of those funerals you know everybody's
Starting point is 00:37:20 looking at the ground mostly because they're sad but there's a few people trying not to look and make eye contact with somebody else and start laughing anyway equipped with everything to prevent breakings and smoke detectors to sniff out fires that's the thing he got the comprehensive system so he was also protect protected oh I'm getting a note from offstage from the lovely Nia okay beautiful that's great I like how you brought the letter in and then started talking hey your hair looks beautiful by the way whoever did it all right I'll see you all right luckily Joshua has a comprehensive simply safe system equipped
Starting point is 00:38:00 with everything to prevent breakings and smoke detectors to sniff out fires he start he was started awake to the sound of a 95 decibel alarm yeah and those pizza pockets exploding from his simply safe base station seconds later he got a call from simply safe from a simply safe professional monitoring the pizza rolls didn't make it but Joshua did and I'm sure there's a lot of people that love Joshua believe Joshua he believes simply safe probably saved his life that night I also believe he should stop late-night snacking protecting people guard his day you know when you almost die from it maybe that's a time to fucking have a
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Starting point is 00:39:22 somebody hit the fire alarm when I was in Oakland there was a party going on right there in the in the in the in the lobby somebody was getting married and then there was like a whole bunch of guys on motorcycles doing like donuts and revving the engines and everything was pretty fucking cool so all of a sudden you know I'm starting to fall asleep you know I'm like Joshua except I don't have pizza rolls in the oven and all of a sudden it's just this disgusting fucking noise when it's such a place there's been a fire detected within the building please evacuate please use the staircase it did it fucking the whole time it
Starting point is 00:40:24 wouldn't stop so I call club soda Kenny I'm like is this legit he's like I call downstairs they said there's a fire on the second floor and I'm like alright and we fucking go out in the stairs you can't you please this is not a fucking drill you're gonna use this death so we go there and there's like I don't know everybody in the hotel is walking down the same staircase and there's like old people and we keep having to stop on the stairs there's like a traffic jam of people going down the stairs and I just kept looking down the stairway stairwell looking for smoke because I'm like if this fire is getting out of control how
Starting point is 00:41:04 slowly we're going down here at some point we're gonna have to make a decision to trample the elderly to get out of here I always thought back in the day all this staircase right there I will say this if you're high enough up there's gonna be traffic because people who are physically compromised Bill why couldn't you pick up an elderly person and run with them that's what I would like to think that I would do it all depends on how close the flames are right that would be the deal anyway we get like we walk from the 10th floor it's one of these places where you got to watch two flights to get down to the next floor so we
Starting point is 00:41:41 went from the 10th floor all the way down to the fourth floor and then they just go attention please the emergency is over you can go back to your room and then everybody on the stairs is just like oh what the fuck it's just like hey we didn't burn to death I was kind of thinking because the sprinklers weren't on that we were gonna be okay and that's my fire story you know what thank God that hotel had simply safe S I M P L I S A F E calm all right solo stove everybody solo stove you know there's nothing quite like the feeling of gathering around a warm fire on a cool evening and a smokeless fire pit from
Starting point is 00:42:25 solo stove make sure outdoor moments even more memorable because instead of having to constantly dodge those goddamn campfire fumes you can sit back relax and actually enjoy the fire is anything better than a than a fire outside sitting out there feeling it's warmth the only thing that sucks is when the wind changes and now it's like you're behind a city bus a fleet of city buses well no more of that with the solo stove and right now you can get a great deal on a solo stove fire pit upgrade your backyard with solo with the solo stove fire pit and the greatest thing too is this thing is is you can you can
Starting point is 00:43:02 you can take it with you whatever they call it compact or some shit right you can bring it to a tailgate it's the perfect catalyst for getting outside and spending more time with family and friends you can bring it camping no more trying to fucking get a piece of flint can you start a fire out in the wild yes I can with my solo stove fire pit that I mentioned they're brilliantly engineered made from premium grade 304 stainless steel not that 303 shit that they've been shoving down your throat and a 360 degree air flow system that maximizes efficiency while minimizing smoke easy to light with a few bits of
Starting point is 00:43:41 static your fire is blazing a minute perfectly portable that's what the word is not compactable portable take solo stove with you on camping trips and more hey do you got season tickets to the fucking Green Bay Packers and you're sick of freezing your ass off up there get a solo stove shop now and get up to 30% off fire pits all month long and use promo code burr at checkout to get an extra ten dollars off plus a lifetime warranty and free 30 day returns just go to solo stove comm and remember you get ten dollars off when you use promo code burr all right who do we got here the last plea but not leastly before we go
Starting point is 00:44:23 into questions the first one being about intermittent fasting all birds everybody you know all birds create shoes and clothing that are better for you and better for the planet using a revolutionary roster of premium natural materials materials like their popular tree runner sneaker why is it called the tree runner you ask because it's made from eucalyptus tree fiber a lightweight breathable and silky soft material making the tree runner the perfect everyday shoe for getting the most out of sunny days I'm gonna get a pair of these and let you guys know how they are made with premium natural materials
Starting point is 00:45:02 like eucalyptus fiber designed with a breathable knit that keeps your feet cool when you're soaking up the sun and they're super lightweight making them the perfect pair to take along on any adventure minimal and versatile for effortless everyday style thoughtfully designed without any unnecessary frills or logos and they go out to go with every outfit find your new favorite shoes for sunny days and upcoming travel at all birds comm a l l b i r d s dot com sorry alright what do we got here somebody wants to talk about intermittent fasting something that I've been doing let me see how many days I've been doing
Starting point is 00:45:46 this shit I'll let you guys know I should go step on the scale see if I've lost any weight here I must have I've been doing it I did it one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve since since May 6th well May 5th is when I started I've done at least 16 hours occasionally a little over 17 every single day except Sunday night the 8th but I've done it one two three four five six seven days in a row had a day off and then one two three days in a row this looks like a fucking baseball spec schedule and yeah my stomach is going down I'm hitting the gym after this and then I'm gonna have I have a little bit
Starting point is 00:46:42 of lunch here I'll let you know how it's going intermittent fasting hello mr. Burr oh by the way I'm now that I'm into the wonderful world of coffee I want you guys all these cities I go to you tell me the fucking best cup of coffee and I'm gonna fucking swing by and check it out I'm going to Florida I'm in Tampa so you know I got to go down to Ebor city to get me a cigar or something let me know what the place is out there all right intermittent fasting hello mr. Burr just writing to tell you that intermittent intermittent fasting actually works well good fantastic he goes I became a fat fuck during the early days
Starting point is 00:47:25 of the pandemic I'm six feet and was a little over 225 pounds driving down the road one day I hit a pothole and felt my titty jiggle oh no and that was the motivation I needed to get my to get to work on myself well that's good man at some point you got to be ashamed of yourself to turn it around and there's nothing wrong with being ashamed of yourself if you're ashamed of yourself that no that means that you know you can do better which means you got some pride buried underneath all that bacon fat started running until gyms open and then got into cardio and weights no matter what I couldn't get under 208
Starting point is 00:48:06 pounds then I tried intermittent fasting and from August to my birthday in late November the pounds melted off me my goal was to be under 190 pounds by my birthday on November 25th and I hit my goal weighing in at 189.4 pounds that's fucking awesome he goes I did 17 hours no eating and 7 hours eating during the 17 hours with no calories it was all water or tea I was determined and got her done at 42 years old I'm healthier than ever I've ever been and never going back to being jiggly tits yeah and you drive a truck too man so I mean that's obviously a lot of sitting down and not you know eating well I remember when I
Starting point is 00:48:57 was living the life of a trucker when I was doing college cakes and all that my my my go-to place was fucking subway I told you all that shit I get a large stack of pancakes and try to go the whole fucking day and then I get a six in subway sandwich at the end of the day hopefully this college paid me anyway can't wait to see your shows in Toronto in August and Windsor in October and really hope my leafs don't crap out yet again my heart can't take much more of their shenanigans that's awesome man I'm hoping this intermittent fasting is gonna get me down to my goal of a buck 72 in and around my birthday I think I
Starting point is 00:49:34 waited too long I don't know we'll see we'll see where I'm at I'll keep you guys posted tell me where are you from Billy boy Billy boy tell me where are you from charming Billy what size that da da da da da da da da da da da da da he's a young boy that wants to go with scouting like a scout all right where are you from Bill hey Billy boy OD OD that's OD EE not sure if you saw saw it floating around Twitter but there was an article written by a guy who said it's racist when people ask where he's from and why I ask people where they're from all the time if they have an accent because the rest of the world interests
Starting point is 00:50:27 me anyways he says I'm a Pakistani born American and I drive uber slash lift and anything else they'll let me I love it when people ask me where I'm from because it makes me in my country more human to them how many Pakistani people do you know one and then there's a couple others that I might know but I'm not going to ask them what they are because then they'll be you know if they're Indian or they're not Pakistani you know you guys are like fucking you know Michigan and Ohio State I don't want to start that shit up and you're in a fairly diverse city exactly Bill probably only a few if any so that's why I
Starting point is 00:51:12 love it I don't like how you just fucking assume that shit even though you were right sometimes I just say one of those countries that gets bombed a lot some laughs some apologize on behalf of their army so I we're not bombing you guys I thought that was India I don't want to start it up I know you guys are problem is is people in Pakistan in India they just there they've led Zeppelin fans alright and then Zeppelin wrote that song cashmere and then that just started the whole shit up again as far as I know that's what's going on up there so I ask so I say ask me where I'm from and don't worry about the occasional
Starting point is 00:51:49 insecure guy who doesn't like to hear it thank you for all the laughter well yeah I mean it's kind of like it's probably because they got treated like shit I mean it's a difference between like hey man where you from that's a cool accent as like you know as being like dude where the fuck are you from I mean that's not a good one all right remedies I hey Billy drum solo king someone wrote in about home remedies I married a black woman who's a bit older than me but her mom is from the generation of home remedies earaches take a bottle of sweet oil warm it up under running water and what do you do with it do you drink it
Starting point is 00:52:35 or pour it in your ear I wouldn't think you want to pour in your ear when warm oh here we go when warm not hot pour a cap full in your ear what sore throat gargle with peroxide and water there are countless others but these are a few enjoy this summer with the family in the playoffs peroxide and water I think Donald Trump thought that cured COVID all right I would say I do I have any fucking home remedies no I was I was the Vicks vapor rub generation when you had a cold you took that shit and you just rubbed it on your chest yeah and you smelled like a fucking stick of wintergreen gum didn't work it was
Starting point is 00:53:26 another one you put a towel over your head in your status you sat above steaming water to try to clear out your nasal passages but I just know other ones like if you're in the shower if you're taking a shower the end of a hot shower if you turn on turn it on cold it sucks but once you get used to it you I can't even tell you how fucking alive you feel I know a hot shower is great but I'm telling you when you go the other way at the end of it there's something about it it just it fucking gives you a jolt of adrenaline I feel way more awake when I do it but please keep the home remedies coming here here's I would love
Starting point is 00:54:11 one when you get a sore throat from screaming shit jokes Mexican hiccup remedies hey there Billy burrito recently a listener emailed you talking about old family remedies and reminded me of one that I still hold true to this day it was passed down to me by my mother and to her mother and so on first of all I was born and raised in Mexico and I now live in Miami you know what's funny there's a a farmer that I that I'm following growing his own food on Instagram I'll tweet it out you guys to check it out it's inspiring me to I always wanted to have like a home garden I mean I've had like you know tomato
Starting point is 00:54:57 plants out here stuff like that but have it like you know like lettuce and all of that type of stuff because they're saying once again they're changing the laws so they they don't have to write GMOs when they're in your food or whatever if you give a fuck about something like that it's interesting anyway first of all I was born and raised in Mexico and I now live in Miami my mom's side of the family is completely Mexican and as I'm sure you know us Mexican loves love limes and we also love drinking I mean what's the hate about that so the remedy is for the for the hiccups it works a hundred percent of the time if you help
Starting point is 00:55:34 it a bit what what do you mean help it okay when you have the hiccups get a lime slice it in half grab one half and pour some in Worcestershire Worcestershire sauce on it had to Google how to spell that in Mexico we call it salsa in Glacier English sauce oh all right and then just bite into the half lime with the Worcestershire sauce on it it's going to be super sour and intense but all that flavor sort of shocks your body and we'll sort of forget about the hiccups so you scare yourself with flavor just bite into the lime and swallow all the lime juice with the Worcestershire sauce on it you might
Starting point is 00:56:24 get the need to hiccup again but just fight it a bit and your hiccups will be gone I do this whenever I have the hiccups and it's never failed me that's fucking wild I want to keep exploring this because I know somebody's gonna have like some fucking cures that work who knows like conspiracy theory then who knows maybe you don't have to go to the CVS and Fresno where they have the funny taste in fucking you know the funny taste in fucking vitamin C gummies anyway love everything you do I've been a fan since I was 15 I'm 28 now wow I saw you in Hollywood Florida Florida when you came down in 2021 and absolutely killed
Starting point is 00:57:03 it hope to see again soon well that's awesome man thank you so much that's always cool when somebody who's not white likes me you know you look all right my shit jokes are crossing lot racial lines I love it all right underrated working with people who know the next step you don't have to ask for the hammer or reach for the next piece of plywood it doesn't matter what you're doing if the person you're working with can handle doing what they're doing and also seeing the project as a whole I'm writing this because I'm currently experiencing that unlike the last Dumbo who slowed me down so much that I missed
Starting point is 00:57:47 my own anniversary dinner to meet a contractual deadline now wait a minute you're blaming the person who hands you the shit I don't know you should have been cracking the whip a little fucking hard is that politically incorrect as a white person to use that fucking expression let's see let's look that up we'll end the podcast on that is it pass a I do know as a white person you wouldn't want to say that to a black person I can pretty much guess that all right you guys don't start stepping it up you're gonna make me have to start cracking the whip excuse me all right cracking the whip I mean I don't you
Starting point is 00:58:30 know need to be origin or maybe it's a horse racing thing we'll see origin come on oh I have the slowest internet crack the whip an expression for using one's authority to urge subordinates to work harder or behave better crack the whip traces its origins to the 17th century horse-drawn wagon drivers according to the American heritage dictionary of idioms cracking the whip racism claim fails cracking the whip is not a racial term I love them white people do that shit actually it's not a racial term even reminds you of slavery so I'm gonna continue saying it while I do the Tomahawk job just because that's what
Starting point is 00:59:18 human beings do you can't tell me what to do I'm gonna take it to a to that level anyway that is the podcast ladies and gentlemen the Celtics move on the Red Sox win a fucking series for the first time since April I believe the Yankees I feel like lost a game for the first time since April they're absolutely killing it and the fucking shit talking blue jays are just sitting in the middle of the pack this is the movie huh this looks like one of those three star movies that you can wait until it goes to home video till it goes to blockbuster we'll see though anyway the Bruins the Bruins go home for this for the goddamn
Starting point is 01:00:07 summer oh well whatever you can't have everything all right that's it I'm gonna say you can't have your cake and eat it I was like wait was that a reference to slavery you know that was a cakewalk I mean you how do you even keep up to it it's so funny like how many fucking sayings came out of slavery that stuck around you know there weren't any slaves up north we didn't come around with we didn't come up with any sayings oh dude this is gonna be like a tea party that's when you I came from throwing people's lawn furniture over the fucking the back railing of a porch or something and so reference to it I don't fucking know
Starting point is 01:00:48 what it is all right that's it go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday

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