Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 5-18-20

Episode Date: May 19, 2020

Bill rambles about psychic abilities, small businesses, and the other hits.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast from Monday, May 18th, 2020. What's going on? How are you? How are you doing? How are you doing? How are you doing? All right, do you guys believe in like ghosts? Do you believe in like paranormal shit? Do you believe in Jesus? No, do you believe in, um, I don't know, once in a while, you know, like I remember one time I got up when I was still living back in fucking Massachusetts. I almost said Beantown. That's the funniest shit ever to me, Beantown. I lived there for 27 fucking years. I never found the place where they made Boston baked beans. I never saw it on a menu. You know, Beantown. Oh yeah, the fucking beans,

they're all over the place. Never saw it. Um, anyway, back in the day when I was young, I was living back there and I was coming back from college. It's a long time ago. Okay. And as I was walking, I got off the train, the commuter rail, and I was walking, you know, over to the parking lot. And for some reason I envisioned smashing the window on my truck. I just had that vision. And then I, you know, walked like another fucking five minutes, finally got to my truck and my window was smashed. And the fucking radio was gone and all of that shit, right? Um, I was like, Well, that was weird. Do I have like some sort of, you know, I hate that my radio is gone. Do I have some sort of paranormal, not paranormal,

do I have some sort of fucking ESP? Am I like that little chicken fucking poltergeist? You know, what did she say? I have exercised the demons or whatever. I started thinking like, why the fuck did I just think that right? So this morning I'm laying in bed. I live out here in Los Angeles, which for the most part is a desert. And I'm laying in bed and I wake up in this, I have this song in my head. I can't get up that high walking hand in hand with the one I love. And I'm like, what in the fuck is making me think of that song? So I started laughing before I even opened my eyes. Like, why is that fucking song in my head? Lo and behold, I wake up. It's fucking raining outside. It never rains out here.

Never rains in Southern California, but poor as man, it pours. You know, what is that? Was that because I was sleeping and I fucking subconsciously heard the rain? Or is it one of those things where they say, you know, you only use like fucking 12% of your brain and I somehow broke through the glass ceiling of my own stupidity. And I can sense after shit is happening before I know with my regular senses that something's going to happen every once in a while. So what is what is that fucking called? You know, you look at the phone and then it rings. Right? You thinking your balls and then they itch. What is that thing? It's fucking weird. It's May. It never rains in May. We have June gloom, but it rains, you know, even somewhere

between November and February out here, it will rain like every day for like, it feels like for a month and then it there's no rain for the rest of the year. And then if everything gets all green, it looks like Oregon out here. It's fucking incredible. And then gradually, it just keeps, you know, the sun every day just dries everything out in around August or September. It all catches on fire. And then we start over again. Then everybody back east looks at these fucking fires like, dude, is it fucking? Are you in that thing? It's like, nah, it's like fucking 30 miles away from me. Thank you for checking. What is that called? Maybe I should look that up. Thinking something. And then it happens. What is that?

A self fulfilling prophecy? Well, it's like, I wouldn't go that far. What is it called? Oh, I think this means like, you know, I'm going to make the NBA and then it happens. I don't mean that five things you do every day that actually mean your psychic. Oh yeah, this will feed my ego. There's a white chick with tattoos walking with no with their sandals in her hands. Okay, this is about psychics. We all have a sixth sense. It's something within you that tells you when danger is lurking. Specifically, when there's something or someone around you, you know, you shouldn't trust. Oh, you're this is going with your gut. Whether it's a new type of feeling or a general sense of knowing something that seems to come out of the blue, people are directed all the time to

trust your gut to follow your intuition. It might sound weird to say to somebody trust your trust your psychic power. Oh boy. I'm right now I'm starting to be get my senses right now. My sixth sense is telling me that they're going to try to get me to buy something right now. There's some sort of book about psychic power at the end of this article. Alright, but when you tell someone to follow their intuition, that's exactly what you're doing. Your personal intuition is the guiding factor when it comes to your abilities. These five things you do every day might actually mean your psychic. Is that like that thing? Like you ever see what I mean, it might be the way they cut the nature videos, right? But there'll be some little fucking rodent, you know, meandering

around and all of a sudden eagle or a bird of prey will lock in on it for fucking, you know, goddamn Bravo airspace, right? And the fucking thing senses it like, I got a bad feeling man, there's something watching me. That feeling you get when you think there's something watching you. Alright, so these are five things and there are conscious efforts you can make to help harness your power and get in touch with the universe. Okay, this is getting all hippie-dippy. Figuring out and understanding your psychic ability is not cutting. Shut up and just get to it. Alright, number one, you think of someone right before they text you. Thinking of someone right before they text you is actually a form of precognition, the ability to see or perceive

events right before they happen through extra sensory perception or clairvoyance. Valerie Mesa, clairvoyant, astrologer and writer for elite daily explains that first I had trouble really noticing and differentiating it from everything, every other thought, but with time I realized it was part of my clairvoyance. I simply have a thought about someone and keep going about my business, they will either call me or text me, it never fails. Well, I mean, I could do that about my wife and of course she's going to call me and text me, she's my wife. This is vague, is that part of the clairvoyance man? It's like right there, but if you reach out to touch it, it moves away man. But if you just let it be, it'll sit there with you. Alright, number two, you always

look at the clock at the same time. I'm skipping that one, I don't do that. You get bad vibes from people and get chills. Yeah, okay, that's being able to read people. You see random images in your head. Alright, what's this about? This is like the fucking ring. One psychic skill that falls in this category is called, wait, you get bad vibes from people and get chills. There's a fine line from clairvoyance and just straight up racial profiling. Doesn't it, what the vibe you get from people, what about your own, how good a person you are, how open you are or whatever, I would think if you're fucking, you know, pessimistic, you get that bad vibe more so than someone who's a little more open minded. You see random images in your head. One psychic skill that falls in

this category is called psychometry or taken object reading. And it's one of the easiest psychic skills to practice. Though it may only come through sometimes they, the more you pay attention to it, the more often it happens. Say you're ordering your morning coffee from Starbucks, there it is. There it is. There it is. There's the money, everybody. See that I was clairvoyant. I knew it was coming. Why couldn't I, why can't I just be sitting in my breakfast nook drinking a cup of joe. Say you're ordering morning coffee from Starbucks, sitting on your IKEA chair. Since psychic senses are heightened, when we are most relaxed. But what does that have to do with Starbucks, there's plenty of people to make coffee you fucking cunts. And the moment you passed your coffee,

you get an image of a little girl throwing a temper tantrum. As you're walking away, you hear the barista who made your coffee complain about the temper tantrum her daughter threw that morning when she left work. I know, I don't, I don't, this does not happen to me. If I started doing shit like that, I'd go to Vegas, you know, and I'd wear like a wizard shirt, which would be stupid because they'd be like, this motherfucker's counting carts. He's trying to throw us off with the wizard shirt. All right. Another form of psychic skill comes into play without holding an object. Dr. Parakis explained, there is clairvoyance, which means clearly seeing images or pictures that the I don't see that shit. All right, I just heard walking in

the rain, and it was raining out. Do you dream about someone and find out they wanted to talk? No. All right, maybe I'm not clairvoyant. 36 Insta, oh, look at the cute lesbian couple at the bottom. Aren't they adorable? All right, what am I doing here? By the way, I'm on elite daily, if you want to see the adorable couple. Oh, look at this chiropractors baffled 30 second stretch relieves years of back pain. Watch, they finally have a dude. You know, they kept having these chicks fucking bent over with their fucking asses in the air and shorts going up their ass. It's like, what are you doing? Are you trying to help my back? Are you getting me to jerk off? Is just jerking off fucking cure lower back pain? All right, everybody. This is the Monday morning podcast,

and it's really fucking ready to believe. Yeah, we got a fucking amount here in the garage and got a bunch of people in my house, getting ready, moving around some shit, getting ready for the Bambino here in a couple of fucking weeks. I was hoping to, you know, have a few drum things down before I get no sleep for the next three months. I'm so fucking excited to become a dad again. And I'm also nervous as hell. I'm going to be honest with you, because I know how much work one is. And I'm like, okay, now there's going to be two, but everybody's like, no, no, once they get past a certain point, they can play with each other. But I got to tell you, my daughter is crushing the t-ball, crushing, and she gets upset when she doesn't like, you know, like a temper tantrum,

but if she only hits like a ground ball, she's like, God, dad, I want to hit it far. And it's the one thing that I've ever found like wears her out as I get her up to taking some cuts. And she had me dying laughing because she I'm telling you, she's got that, she's got that athlete thing. I'm not saying she's going to make the fucking MLB. I'm just saying she's going to be a gamer. So she gets up to bat, right? And she's just crushing these things. And you know, and then she runs over, she picks up the ball, sticks it back on the t-ball stand, right? So I've gotten her because she was kind of crowd in the plate. She's getting up there like Barry Bonds, but she wasn't able to turn quick enough, right? So I told her to stand further

away from the plate. So one time when she came back, she was standing too far away. And she took like this fucking like swung out of her cleat swing and was right in level with the ball. But she was too far away and she missed it. And she laughed. And as I'm trying to tell her to move in closer, she took like six more cuts, swung just as hard. And I was dying laughing. And I moved her up and then she crushed one. And then she went over and said, she's like, dad, I tired. And she laid down in the grass. First time I ever saw her get tired. So it's like the greatest thing ever, because I've never been able to wear her out. She just has like battery life for days. And I would do this thing where we play this game called raw, like raw, like I jump

out and I would fucking scare her. So I've been playing it since she was a toddler. So she or yeah, toddler. So she just still calls it raw. Like dad, I want to play raw. So I used to chase her around. So I got advice people saying like, no, you don't want to do that before they go to bed because you're you know, you're getting their adrenaline going and they're going to be up longer. And I was like, well, I'm trying to wear her out and I could never wear her out. So I finally found something. But she hit one. I hit one and went up onto the roof of the house. And it got stuck up there. So I had to go, you know, we have a flat roof of my house. So I had to go up there, put the ladder up to get it. So I threw the ball down to her. And I got as I was

coming down the ladder, I heard her hit a clean one. And then I heard it hit my car bounced off the top of my car and then hit the fence on the other side, which was a significant shot for her. She cleared these shrubs and all of that type of stuff. And it was just the greatest, the greatest feeling ever. So I got a son coming now. So you know, we have a little bit of a driveway. And I'm thinking, you know, when they all get big enough, you know, we got to play a little street hockey, you know, get the rollerblades out there, play, it's going to be, it's going to be fucking insane. And once, once my daughter is a little bit older, because she's batting lefty, and she really gets the muscle memory down, she has a

great fucking swing and everything. I'm going to have her like somewhere around when she's four, four and a half, take a couple of cuts from the right side. And I always try to do that. Like when we play soccer, I have her, you know, she was soccer, she kicks with the right foot, but I also have a kick a bunch with their left foot, kind of get the amy dexterous thing going. And just see where it leads, you know, see if that makes her a better athlete or whatever. But it's a fun thing. It's the shit that I do, because I actually go up and I take cuts on the tball thing, you know, I take my old man cuts and I swing lefty and I'm a right handed batter. And I don't know, I think it's a fun thing. I also, I would guess is a good thing for somebody

old like myself to be engaging a different part of my fucking brain. I still want to buy that. It was a Dave DeBusher, the late great New York Nick wrote a book called The Memory Book. And he had an absolutely incredible, incredible, incredible memory. One of these guys that was literally memorizing the phone book. You know what, by the way, I rewatched Michael Rappaports when the garden was Eden. It's it's such a great, great, great documentary. And about the 70 and 73 next, I believe I always forget why I always thought they won one. They won two and three years, but I think it was there was a three year gap. Anyway, I was watching that and I saw that's what really stuck out this time when I watched it.

Because the first time all I saw was Willis Reed beat up the entire Lakers bench, broke two guys' jaws and shit. It was just like, I was like, I've never seen that footage. So that's what stuck out. And then also, of course, young pictures of Phil Jackson going, look at that guy, he was just like a guy coming off the bench, like a six man, and he goes on to become arguably the greatest NBA coach of all time. I would say he's the greatest. No disrespect to Red Aroback, even me being a Celtics fan. There's something about doing it in the modern era with all of the information and everybody has access and all of that type of stuff. It just seems like it gets harder and harder and harder, which is sort of my Babe Ruth

argument that I always get into, you know, specifically with Yankee fans. And then I just say to him, I go, all right, let's just look at the stat of hitting 400. All right, the last person to do it was Ted Williams in 1941. Okay, Jackie Robinson breaks the color barrier in 1947. Nobody's ever done it since. But before 1941, from the beginning up until 1941, like 27 people did it. And there's a couple of years where like five guys did it in the same year, five guys, four guys, three guys all hit. And if you look, it happens every year in the beginning in the late 1800s, and then all of a sudden it happens every two to three years, then every five years, and it just gradually trickles

down and down and down and down. Because people make that Babe Ruth argument going, well, there was less teams. So the talent pool was higher. And I 100% disagree with that. I disagree with that. You only had white people. So the upper echelon of white people in that league, I think the Hall of Famers, the Ty Cobbs, the Babe Ruths could have played any error. But a guy like me, there was a bunch of guys, not like me, but you know what I mean, there was a bunch of guys that never would have made it past double A triple A that were then absorbed up into the MLB for the simple fact that, you know, all the, you know, Derek Cheetah went a bit of Pedro Martinez, Josh Gibson, Willie Mays, all of those guys weren't there. So I always look at it like

once they opened everything up, you got the Babe Ruth of every race showed up. And that's why baseball I think got stuck in the past until they let everybody do, everybody had to do fucking, the modern day athlete had to do fucking steroids and they had to juice up the ball to break the records of what 150 pound guys did. So I don't mean any disrespect to the stars from back then. I'm not questioning whether they could play now. I'm saying they could. But I'm just saying those other two thirds of white guys, you know, a lot of whom were pitching fucking to, to, you know, Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb and all these guys hitting 400 and 700 something fucking home runs. I always look at like that's the stat that I look at where it's like all of these people

hit for numerous, numerous years, more than one person hit 400 in a year. And then all of a sudden after 1941, no one can ever do it again. Closest guy I think was George Brett. And you think of some of the hitters, George Brett, Rod Carew, Pete Rose, Wade Boggs, Tony Gwynne, just Mast Ichiro Suzuki. I mean that those, what do you think those guys would have fucking hit? Okay, and I'm not saying that they would come back with this, go back in time. And in like, if they went back in time, we're just born back then. So it's all the same nutrition, all the same knowledge and all of that. They would have hit 400 and 700 and 700 and 700 and 700 and 700 and 700 and they would have hit fucking 400. They would have, they all would have. That's what I'm saying. Oh,

he's trying to start a sports argument. All right. Now, let's talk some old NFL. All right, I'm trying to avoid all the bullshit in the fucking news. Old NFL shit that I learned this week. All right, so they don't count NFL titles. This is if you're new to the podcast, all right. If you've lost your sense of taste and smell, and now you're quarantining by yourself, and you're listening to this podcast, welcome. So here's some NFL stats that I got. I don't even have them in front of me. Should I bring them up so I'm 100% accurate? Trying to do the Dave DeBusher things and fucking memorize them here, but all right, open. Here we go. NFL, started with NFL QB history, and then it came to this. All right, so here we are, ladies and gentlemen.

Today, we're going to talk about the kicking game in the NFL. All right. Now, if you like me back in the day, when you used to watch, you watched the old black and white footage of field goal kicking, back in the day, people used to kick straight on. They didn't kick the soccer style, which came about in like the late 60s, early 70s. I don't quite remember when. So what the hell is this? Come on, you fucking cunt. Every time I try to open a window and be smooth as I'm talking, it never fucking works out. I just got to get some of this guy's stats. All right, so anyway, when I would watch that shit, I thought that because they were kicking straight on, because it always looked like they had like some fucking giant offensive linemen

kicking the ball, that they were not kicking the ball that far. That was sort of true, because I just feel like coming straight on like that, like how much weight could you get behind it? How far could you kick it? It just seemed like a more inefficient movement with your leg, as opposed to coming in soccer style. It seemed like you could bring your leg back further with coming in soccer style than you could straight on. And I believed all of that shit, which I think is essentially true, because everybody kicks soccer style now. So it must be a more efficient way of doing it. But as far as like people not kicking it that far, I thought that that was true until I read about Lou Groza,

an original Cleveland Brown played with them from 1946, I believe to 1967. Now, I have his Wikipedia page up here, so I'll be able to tell you this guy was 63, 250 pounds. All right, he played offensive tackle, and he was their field goal kicker. So that was what, you know, when I looked at the highlights, I didn't respect it the way I should have. Yeah, he played 1946 and 1967. He took 1960 off because he had a back injury, and then came back from 61 to 67. He was just the place kicker at that point. And what's amazing is that 1960, he took off. I can only imagine the rehab back then for your back. All right, what you want to do is touch your toes and stand up as quick as you can. Here, pick up this refrigerator. Can't imagine what the rehab

was. So he then played from after his back inch 61 to 67. Now, here's the thing about this guy. He was the first guy that could accurately hit from beyond 40 yards and could hit a 50 yarder. And up until Lou Groza came along, like the kicking game was really overlooked by everybody in the NFL. It was all about, you know, for the most part, running the ball in or throwing the ball, scoring a touchdown, and kicking the extra point was like whatever. But nobody really took into consideration that, you know, field goals, miss field goals, and all that can really, like they just didn't have the stats. And all of a sudden, and also people couldn't kick it as far as Lou Groza. So Lou Groza comes in and could kick the ball a country mile, as they say.

And this is, okay, he was basically the first Adam Vinitieri. Okay, because the Cleveland Browns were in the All-American Football Conference, the four, the entire four years that that league existed, 46, 47, 48, 49. All right, the Cleveland Browns won all four of those league championships. And then you might say to yourself, well, Bill, it wasn't the NFL, so those championships don't count. Fine, whatever. I get it. 1950, the Browns joined the NFL. And guess what they did? They won the NFL title and went to the NFL title game, six straight fucking years, winning three of them. And what people did, they were like, what the fuck are the Browns doing? You got Paul Brown, you got Otto Graham, what else is going on? And they started crunching numbers.

And they realized that the Cleveland Browns, during that time, won 15% of their games because of their kicking game. And they started to understand that, you know, the fact that they could drive down to like, I mean, back then, if you could, the field goal posts were right on the goal line. So if you got down to the 40 yard line, just 10 yards into the other teams, or midfield, right? No, 40, 40, 42 yard line, right? You were in Lou Groza's range. And he would come and he would kick. And in fact, in 1950, when they played the NFL title game with seconds left on the clock, he went out there and kicked it right through the uprights to win it. And they asked him afterwards, they said, Lou, were you nervous? He said, no, I knew it was going, I knew, I knew I was going to

make it. This guy had the championship gene, right? So he ended up, let's see, well, how many points this guy had? He ended up school, like this is a tight end too. So these were all like field goals. He had like 11, 1200 points at the end of his career. His career point total was 1,603. Part of those 1,349 were in the NFL. Counting as AAFC years, his career point total is 1,603. They actually had something called the Lou Groza rule, you know, like there's the Mel Blunt rule. I'm kind of into that shit, like rules named after football players. The Lou Groza rule, he had this thing where he would come in and he would put a piece of tape right behind the ball, like just like a straw, almost like a piece of duct tape or something like that, which just

sort of helped him line his foot up when it went through. It's not like he did anything to the ball or anything like that. And he was just crushing it so much, they said, okay, you can't do that anymore. And then, you know what he did? He continued to kick another 1,000 fucking field goals. But he was the original Adam Venetieri, Lou the Toe Groza. You should know this guy. He played for the great Cleveland Brown teams. He won three NFL, four NFL titles, 1950, back-to-back in 54, 55, and then they won in 1964. And then he also won four All-American Football Conference titles. So that's eight titles by the great Lou Groza. He is the reason that the kicking game is so important today. Isn't that cool? If you're a football nerd.

All right, football rules named after players. That's hilarious. It said named Lou, like my computer's not listening to me. The Bill Belichick rule, the Bronco Ngruski rule, the Ken Stabler rule. That's the fucking, you can't fumble the ball forward. The Emmett Smith rule, the Greg Pruitt rule, the Heinz Ward rule, the Lester Hayes rule, that's Stickham, Phil Dawson, 11 rules named after people. All right, here we go. This is what a great fucking topic this is. All right, the Bill Belichick rule. Since 1994, NFL quarterbacks have been permitted to wear speakers in their helmets, enabling coaches on the sideline to communicate plays to them without the use of hand signals. Beginning in 2007,

lime green stickers were used to mark these radio equipment helmets. During the 2008 offseason, the NFL passed a rule that allowed one defensive player on the field to wear a speaker in his helmet. The season before Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots were fined for videotaping a game against the New York Jets from an unauthorized location in order to learn their defensive heads at Spygate. Their defensive hand signals. If you didn't have any hand signals, it wouldn't have happened. Former Dallas Cowboy head coach Wade Phillips said of the Spygate, I'm just happy to get something passed the way you don't, that way you don't have to worry about it. People were putting towels up in front of people. You shouldn't have to play football that way.

The Patriots voted in favor of the proposal. Yeah, basically everybody would, this is what they ESPN didn't say. Everybody was fucking doing it. And then in 2007, they passed the rule that you cannot fucking do it. That was the first year you couldn't do it. And then the Patriots continued to do it. And we got busted. Although the way this is written, they're making it seem like nobody did it, which was bullshit. So I don't know if that's 100% accurate because I did the research on that because they were coming after my fucking team. And by the way, I know all of you guys who fucking hate the Patriots say, no, it's bullshit. Nobody did it. Only the Patriots did it. Right. While you watch all of these college football games, and as when they're

holding up signs, they got a picture of a slice of pizza, oracle, the sign for pie, and there's some guy break dancing and pop lock. And it's like, why do you think they're doing that? It's because people are stealing signs. And I've always maintained that if you think stealing signs is cheating, then what you should do is have America forfeit World War Two. All right, Bronco Nogruski rule. Oh, by the way, I got a great one on the New York football Giants. Listen to this shit. Or should I continue with this? I'll continue with this. And then I got a great one on the Giants who are one of my favorite franchises of all time. The way I hate the Colts, I love the Giants. I love the Giants. They come out, they hit you in

the fucking mouth. They win the fucking game. If they lose, they go home. The Colts, they come out, you hit them in the mouth, they cry, they make a tape, they change rules. It's just really the difference between the two. You have one is run by men and the other is not. All right, number two, Bronco Nogruski rule. The Bronco Nogruski rule was enacted after a controversial finish in the 1932 NFL championship game between Nogruski's Chicago Bears and the Portsmith Spartans. Your Portsmith Spartans at the time, a forward pass was only legal if it was thrown from at least five yards behind the line of scrimmage. After Nogruski was stuffed twice on runs up the middle in a tie game, he took a few steps back and threw a pass to Reg Grange for a

touchdown. Portsmith coach argued that Nogruski wasn't five yards behind the line of scrimmage when he threw the pass, but the Colts stood and the Bears went on to win nine to nothing. The following season, yeah, if he only took a couple of steps, yeah, he would have been, what do you think he'd be within? Depends on where the fuck he was. Oh man, that wasn't legal, see? Everybody got all upset. The following season, the league declared that a forward pass could be made from anywhere behind the line of scrimmage. All right, the Ken Stabler rule. 1979, the NFL enacted a rule in response to a play during the 1978 season that became known as the Holy Roller. The Raiders, yeah, they were going to lose the

game. Ken Stabler was getting sacked and he, as he went down, he just rolled the ball towards the end zone. And then I forget who it was, like Dave Casper. He was trying his best to pick it up and he just kept accidentally kicking it further and further until it was across the goal line. And then he fell on it with five seconds left. This here it is. Remaining the remaining, the Oakland Raiders trailing the San Diego Chargers by six point. Oakland quarterback Ken Stabler dropped back to pass from the San Diego 23 yard line for an apparent last ditched effort into the end zone. Stabler was pressured, however, in an effort to avoid his sure sack, intentionally fumbled the ball forward. The ball rolled to, oh, I'm sorry, Raiders fullback Pete Banczak,

who kicked the ball forward to tight end Dave Casper. Dave Casper dribbled the ball into the end zone before falling on it for the winning touchdown. The resulting rule, which is informally known as the Ken Stabler rule or Raider or Raider rule, prohibits an offensive player other than the player who fumbled the ball from recovering or advancing a fumble on fourth down or any other, or any down in the final two minutes and a half. In another offensive player, if another offensive player recovers the ball, it is placed back at the spot of the fumble. And by the way, going back to that Bella check shit, it's like, also if you film people, it's not like they're just miming passing and handing it off. You would then go in half time and then

you would have somebody look at all the videotape and then watch the plays and you'd be looking at the signals and you would try to figure out something and maybe it would give you an advantage on one or two fucking plays. Okay, I'm just bringing it back down to earth. It was cheating. They were guilty of it. They did break a fucking rule, but that is not why they won all those fucking titles. If it makes you feel better, you can say that, but you know, okay, I don't know. But if you're going to do that, then you kind of have to do that with everybody. And at that point, the Steelers immediately go down to two Super Bowls and who the fuck wants to do that? You know what? Because the other team they were playing was also fucking doing some bullshit,

which is why you have referees. And then what? Then you're going to reward it to the Lester team that was also cheating, but didn't win. I don't get it. All right. Emmett Smith rule. In 1997, the NFL enacted player conduct rule 12, section three, article one, which prohibits a player from removing his helmet while on the field. The rule was informally named after Smith, the Hall of Fame running back who had a habit of removing his helmet to celebrate touchdowns, including after the TDE scored on his first carry of the 1995 season. Quote, I had just come off a serious injury and all I read about was how I supposedly had lost a step that I was on the downside of my career. Smith told them Dallas morning news, I went 60 yards

of my first carry and my hand string didn't pull. I was excited. So the NFL was like, wait a minute, Emmett Smith is having too much fun. Smith was flagged for removing his helmet during the first season that the rule was enforced. Is it a badge of honor? Smith told the Austin American Statesman. No, it's not. Oh, that a rule was named after him. He was such a class act. You got to love Emmett Smith. One of the toughest guys to play to that game he played that when they needed to win. I can't remember if it was a playoff game, but he had the separated shoulder as a running back. I mean, just NFL running back, taking NFL hits on a separated shoulder. Unreal. All right. Number five, the Greg Pruitt rule. Cleveland Brown's running back. Greg Pruitt

was one of the owners, several NFL players who wore Taraway jerseys during the 1970s. Oh, man, that's like, uh, who was that guy used to play for the fucking Buffalo Sabres? He was one of their fighters. It was the funniest shit. He had like Taraway fucking pads and shirt and he would go, he would go to fight Ty Domey and all of his fucking clothes would just, Ty would grab him and his shit would just come off. And then the other dude would be fucking hanging on the ties, fucking Jersey. And what's he supposed to hang on to his fucking chest here? Now I got to look this guy up. See, this is how I go down the rabbit hole. Buffalo enforcer tear away Jersey. Oh, the fuck was this guy? It all comes up to Buffalo Sabres Jersey. Come on, man,

all it says is Greg Pruitt. Buffalo, let's see, NHL. All right, I got to put Ty Domey. What the fuck is it? Rob Ray, Rob Ray, Rob Ray had like, you know, it was like he was a male stripper. You just look at his jersey and his jersey and his pads would come off and then he would be shirtless. You had nothing to hold onto and then he would just grab your jersey and beat the shit out of you. And this is great clip of Ty Domey in the penalty box, yelling at Rob Ray, like making these gestures, talking about his tear away Jersey and Rob Ray just goes like oh, in three saying Ty Domey was oh, in three against him. It was fucking hilarious. I love the NHL back then. All right, so let's get back to the rules here. I apologize to non Americans

and non fucking sports fans here. All right, so Greg Pruitt were tear away jerseys during the 70s as a sneaky means of shaking off would be tacklers, right? But he never won a championship, so he's not going to get trashed like Belichick. Pruitt rushed for a thousand yards for three consecutive seasons from 75, 76, 77, 75, 77. For it to be effective, you couldn't wear anything under it. Pruitt told Cleveland magazine, it got pretty cold playing on the lakefront. The league ban tear away jerseys in 79. Pruitt was named to five pro bowls and won a Super Bowl with the Raiders in 1983. Heinz Ward rule in 2009, the NFL enacted a rule that prohibits blindside blocks that come from the blockers helmet, forearm or shoulder. And oh, was this the Green Bay game?

The rule, no, no, no, that wasn't Green Bay was playing a game. And I remember Warren Sapp. It was way behind the play and he nailed some offensive linemen with, you know, that could have been some shit. The offensive linemen was doing him during the rest of the game or a previous game. You never know. You never know. But then when somebody gets hurt, they just look at the incident. So who knows? I'm not saying anything bad about Warren Sapp. The rule is informally known as the Heinz Ward rule after the Pittsburgh Steel, the Y receiver who established a reputation for leveling unsuspecting defenders and broke Keith River's jaw with a vicious block in 2008. I got to see this fucking hit.

Heinz Ward. Who did he hit? Look at my fucking bad memory already. Heinz Ward. Keith Rivers. Keith Rivers. You guys are telling me right now you're not looking up this fucking hit? All right, here we go. Playing the Cincinnati Bengals. No love lost here. Oh, I don't care about your solar fucking cigar lighter. That's not a thing, everybody, before you go to look for it. All right. All right. Here we go. Why can't I hear it? All right, so I guess he's going to throw Rothless Burger. Play action fake. Shakes off a tackler. That was a great fucking block.

Heinz Ward getting some payback. Oh my god, that was a linebacker. Dude, I didn't know Heinz Ward played like that. What the fuck? Oh, wow. He hit him right in the jaw with the crown of his helmet. Okay. You know what? That's a really good rule. That's a really good rule and also respect to Heinz Ward that all these guys that were fucking him up over the middle, he had a chance to fucking hit one of them back and he did. Wow, that was a linebacker too. That was no joke. All right. Lester Hayes rule. Lester. 1981, the NFL banned the use of stickum, a sticky substance used to improve grip that was popularized by the Oakland Raiders.

If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying the Oakland Raiders cornerback Lester Hayes during the 1980 season, including the playoffs. The substance helped Hayes haul in 19 interceptions. All right. All right. Let's, let's, it didn't help them that much. Jesus fucking Christ. Well, 19 interceptions is pretty fucking ridiculous, but I mean, he was also an incredible fucking corner. Anyways, he said, you practically had to pry the ball loose from him whenever he got his hands on it. Raiders linebacker Ted Hendricks said of Hayes in 2007 interview with ESPN. Well, maybe it helped a little bit. I don't know. I would say he got an extra two to five. All right. Phil Dawson rule during a 2007 game in Baltimore, Dawson's unusual 51 yard field

goal led to the adoption of a new rule. Dawson's kick, which tied the game was initially ruled no goal, no good as the ball deflected off the left upright and down off the stanchion support behind the crossbar before bouncing back over the crossbar and into the end zone. Oh, that's like a hockey goal. The puck went all the way over, came back out. It's a goal, but the NFL didn't have that rule at that point. While replaying rules did not allow for the review of field goals at the time, officials reversed the call after a brief discussion on the field. The Phil Dawson rule enacted the following season allowed for field goals and extra points that hit the crossbar or uprights to be reviewed. Oh, so that's all it is. So it wasn't a question of whether it

crossed and then bounced back out. Wait, how the fuck could it do that? Wait a second. The ball deflected off the upright down off the stanchion support post behind the crossbar before bouncing all the stanchion support posts, the thing that comes down to the ground, not the crossbar. It hit that and then bounced back out. That's fucking wild. All right. Ricky Williams rule. Okay. Wait, you have to take your helmet off during an interview. You can't make the sign, I'm smoking a joint to the camera. There's a lot of rules here. The Ricky Williams rule, which was enacted in 2003, declared that a player's hair was an extension of his uniform, and therefore a fair game for tacklers. The rule was initially named after Williams,

the Miami Dolphins dreadlocked running back. It's probably not a coincidence that most NFL players with long hair play defense, but defenders aren't entirely safe from the dangers of hair pulling. In a 2006 Kansas city chiefs running back, Larry Johnson dragged Pittsburgh Steelers safety, Troy Palamalu down by his hair after an interception. The dude had hair, Johnson said of his tackle. What do you want me to do? Palamalu has since ensured his hair for $1 million. So what, if somebody pulls it, he fucking gets a million dollars? I don't get that. All right. Roy Williams rule. Palamalu, by the way, one of the greatest fucking

players of all time. I love when he would time the snap and just jump over the line and fucking tackle the quarterback as he was trying to hand the ball off the fucking guy. He's the only guy ever saw that can consistently do that or did it enough times that when I think of him, that's what I think of. Roy Williams rule. Okay. The rule banning horse collar tackles in which a defender whips a player to the ground by grabbing the back of his shoulder pads. It's really behind the neck, isn't it? I mean, that's where you can get your hands in. Is informally named after Dallas Cowboys safety. Roy Williams was enacted before the 2005 season. And I thought they got rid of that way back in the eighties or nineties. Williams broke Terrell Owens ankle and also ended up ended the

season of Musa Smith and Tyrone Calico. I hope that's how you say his name with the horse collar tackles in 2004. I play by whatever rules the NFL lays down. Williams said after the rule was enacted, if there's a type of tackle that's legal, I'll use it. If it's not legal, I won't. It's as simple as that. Yeah. It wasn't illegal. Now it is. Now I won't do it. Great answer. Williams was suspended for one game in 2007 after being flagged for his third horse collar tackle of the season. All right. Well, he didn't really back up the talk, but you know, his heart was in the right, you know, it's a bank bank play. All right. Number 11, Tom Dempsey. Rest his soul. New Orleans Saints kicker Tom Dempsey was born without toes on his right foot and wore a modified shoe with a flattened

and enlarged toe surface. Lou Groza also had a straight toe on his kicking foot. All right. Dempsey booted an NFL record 63 yard field goal to beat the Detroit Lions in 1970. In 1977, the NFL enacted a rule that required any shoe that is worn by a player with an artificial limb on his kicking leg must also have a kicking surface that conforms to that of a normal kicking shoe. All right. So you can't have like the front of your shoe look like one of those tackling sleds. In 1956, the Lou Groza rule banned the use of artificial aids for kickers. Groza, a hollow famer for Cleveland, used a strip of tape to line up his kicks and a special tee to help guide the ball off his foot. Well, I mean, they didn't have tees back then and he went out and he made

his own. I mean, what the fuck are you going to do? That still doesn't make you kick a 50 yarder. You still have to fucking do it because I could kick that off of that tee all the fucking time all forever. And I still wouldn't hit one. All right. So anyways, let's get back to the giant thing. Then I'll end up mercifully in this sports talk. Jesus Christ. I've done almost 50 minutes of talking sports here. Sorry, guys, it's a pandemic. I mean, I'm fucking, I'm quarantining here. What am I supposed to do? So, all right, let me ask you guys a question. When you guys think of a franchise that lost the big one, all right, right? Consistently lost the big one and it is a part of their franchise

like DNA that this team gets there and then loses. There's a lot of people on Lake Erie right now hanging their heads and I'm not talking about Cleveland Brown fans. I'm talking about the Buffalo Bills. The Buffalo Bills are viewed and when you talk, when you need a reference, Chris Rock made a reference to them. You know, you won't get any pussy until the Bills win the Super Bowl, I believe was the joke. So they are the modern era because they lost four Super Bowls in a row, 90, 91, 92, 93. They lost to the Giants, the Redskins, and then back to have a damn Cowboys, right? So, who did they take the monkey, they took the monkey off the back of what team?

The 1980s, Denver Broncos, who lost in 86, 88, and 89, blown out in 89, right? So, they still would have been considered losers but not as bad as the Buffalo Bills and then also the fact that the Broncos, Alway, and Terrell Davis, those great teams went back to back in, I believe, what was it, 97, 98 seasons, right? But still, everybody looks at Buffalo because they lost four in a row. The Broncos lost three in four years and the Broncos kind of took the spotlight off of the Minnesota Vikings. The Minnesota Vikings lost four Super Bowls, I'm doing this for memory, Super Bowl four, they lost to the Chiefs, then they lost one of them to the Vikings. It wasn't the perfect season, that was the Redskins lost,

and Gary Appremium almost fucked that up with whatever the fuck he was trying to do. So, I think they lost Super Bowl four, Super Bowl six maybe, and then they lost, well Cowboys won five. 77-1 was Cowboys, 72 was the perfect season, 73, so probably 73 and then 74, they lost to the Steelers when Elsie Greenwood had the gold high tops, and then they lost to their eightes on the 76 season Super Bowl 11. So, from Super Bowl four to Super Bowl 11, they lost four. So, they were considered, they couldn't win the big game. The Dallas Cowboys was considered, they couldn't win the big game just because they lost back-to-back NFL title games, one in the Cotton Bowl and one in the Lambeau field, the Ice Bowl. That was 66-67, but the biggest

disaster, if you were a fan, believe it or not, was if you were a New York football giant fan in the 50s and 60s. The New York Giants won the NFL title in 1956, and then they lost the NFL title, the title game, championship game, the original Super Bowl. They lost that game in 58, 59, 61, 62 and 63. Okay? By the way, that is one, two, three, four, five. They lost five Super Bowls in six fucking years, and I feel bad for YA Tittle because he came over from the 49ers, which were historically a losing franchise at that point. He joins the Giants who won in 56, 61, 62, 63. He loses all of those games. I just feel bad because his last name was Tittle, and knowing the New York Post, they probably called them after 63, YA, no title,

Tittle loses again, being cunts about it. But they were also, they went up against the fucking Bart Starr and Vince Lombardi back-to-back years. There's no shame in losing to that, and then they lost to Gale Sears and Dick Buckus Bears in 63. So there you go. Then this is the last football thing. This has just been a football podcast. Here's one for you. In 1946, the New York Football Giants got, two players got busted taking a bribe to throw the championship game. It was at the polo grounds. They were playing the Chicago Bears. Now, why they got bribed, I don't understand, because the Bears were the team of the decade, having won the title in 1940, 41, 43, and 46. 43, there's an asterisk, because I believe that that's, you know, World War II had

started, and they were, you know, they were combined, that Pittsburgh Steelers combined with like the fucking Eagles. They were the Stiegels. I want to say they also combined with the Chicago Cardinals at some point, or I don't know what, it was fucking nuts. But anyway, some gangster, or somebody working with a gangster, bribed both their defensive backs, and somehow word got out before the game, and they actually, the mayor of New York, summoned the two cornerbacks to Gracie Manson on the East River, where they where the mayor lives, or at least did, I remember, Giuliani lived over there. I don't know if he brought Gracie Manson back, but it's pretty fucking cool. Brought him over there, and had him come in separately, just like

when you were at school, and you and your buddy got busted. And then the principal would bring you in one at a time, because you'd be out there sweating wondering if your friend was gonna fucking, you know, bitch up and admit to whatever the fuck it is you did. So they brought the first defensive back in, and he, he was just like, I don't know what you're talking about. It's, you know, it's bullshit. I don't know what you're talking about. All right, see you later, your honor, your mayorhood, and he leaves, and then the other guy caved, and he admitted that he did it. Now, I don't know what the fuck happened. It seemed like they found that out before the game, but all I know at the end of the day is they still fucking lost 24 to 14. I don't know what the

fucking spread was, but once you take money from a gangster, man, I don't give a fuck if you're talking to the mayor or the president, you're not going to fucking be covering as tight as you would have. So, so there you go. But for some reason, the NFL doesn't talk about those. So we I still have to listen about the 1919 White Sox, which for some reason they call the Black Sox, it was a Chicago White Sox. And I got to listen to them how they almost ruined the fucking MLB and they needed Babe Ruth and to build a custom stadium for Babe Ruth to bring the fucking game back and all of that shit. These guys here, when the NFL was in a very precarious situation coming out of World War Two, the college football game was still bigger. I believe horse racing and boxing was

still bigger than pro football at the time. And these two fucking cocksuckers took the goddamn money to, well, I can't call them cocksuckers. I don't know, maybe they were getting fucked over in pay. Who the fuck knows? All right, I take that back, strike that from the record. These two players for the Giants agreed to throw the fucking game and you never hear anything about it. So there you go. There's a little bit of fucking NFL history for you people. A little bit, Bill. A little bit. We're 55 minutes into this podcast. All right, let's do a couple of reads here for the week. What the fuck is it? Buffalo, Lou Groza, Texas reopening, that was something I wanted to talk about, MM podcast content. All right. Okay, when to wear a mask? Oh, wait, I got to read the

advertising first, right? Maybe I'm wrong here. Do I have no live reads? I have no live reads. All right. Well, that's easy. All right. Well, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to fucking, I'm going to do the reads real quick. All right, here's a guy here giving me the reads for the week, the questions for the week. All right, when to wear a mask? Now this person is, this is official CDC infos below. I have thousands of our research. All right. So I don't know if he's telling me this shit. This is a lot of stuff I already fucking knew. But if you, okay, Billy, no eating ass during a pandemic burr. All right, if you are by yourself or anywhere, you are not within six feet of someone in your clean car or house yard or on a walk by yourself,

et cetera. And you don't touch public surfaces and your face and you wash your hands regularly. A mask does nothing for you and is unnecessary. I mean, that's pretty much common sense. Maybe the hard surfaces, public surfaces isn't common sense. Anyways, the virus is only spread through droplets, breath, saliva, sneeze, cough, sweat, or any human fluid that exit the infected person, including asymptomatic and recently infected people and make it eventually, and make it eventually via transmission into your body, eyes, mouth, nose, ears, bloodstream. All right, COVID-19. So that reality is if you have a mask on and somebody sneezed into your ear, you'd be fucked. COVID-19 and many viruses and bacteria, that's what I surmised from that information.

So don't take that as a rule, but it seems that way. All right, COVID-19 and many viruses and bacteria can live for a long time on hard surfaces 24 to 72 hours. All right, so that's one to three days. That have not been disinfected. So if you're doing anything around people, less than six feet, especially if your job requires human interaction, or even if you are shopping and you will touch any public surfaces, a mask might stop you from touching your mouth or nose or help someone or help some if someone coughs by you. Yeah, but I guess it could still go in your eye or into your fucking ear. The CDC does not recommend wearing a mask, a N95 mask or a mask at all, unless you will be in a public space with people within six feet of you. There is zero

scientific evidence to support the virus spreads outside of these criteria. Fusing, fussing with a mask counts as touching your face. Wear a cloth mask when you should. Do not wear one when you don't need it. And yes, I work in the industry of stopping infectious virus bacteria and pathogens. I have thousands of hours of research and dozens of the latest scientific studies to support this information. So don't at me. Fuck with me. I don't know. Wash your hands. Don't touch your face and shut your mouth. Then go fuck yourself. Official CDC information below. Love the podcast and keep up the great work. All right, there you go. So that's coming from someone within the goddamn business. So everybody also here's everybody's shitting on people in LA like driving while

wearing masks. Like I said, a lot of those people I would think are Uber drivers. If someone had just gotten into their car and they just got out, or you don't want to keep taking it on and putting it off and touching your face, you just would fucking leave it on. Or you're running a bunch of errands. You're getting in and getting out of your car. You don't want to, you know, you've touched surfaces, you know, you're using your antibacterial. You don't want to touch your face. You're fucking leave it on. People are like, Oh, what is he doing? He's going to get it from the motor. All right, come to Columbia. Dear William, writing from Cali, Columbia. What? Writing you from Cali, Columbia, the capital of salsa and beautiful women.

I've been a fan since my undergrad years in Boston some 15 years ago. You have made me laugh in some of my darkest moments. So thank you for that. Now that I have been back in Columbia for a year, I would love to go to Columbia. I'd love to go to South America. I mean, it's arguably some of the most beautiful people, the topography. It's incredible. It's just always so deceiving how far away it is. Because not only is it fucking, you got to fly so far south, you actually have to go all like the west coast of South America lines up with the east coast of America. And I live on the west coast here. So it's a crazy flight. Okay. Now that I've been back in Columbia for a year, I realize you have

quite a fan group here. Get the fuck out of here. Have you ever considered touring Latin America? Yes. You know who's going to do it is Tom Segora. I heard Tom Segora bilingual. Tom Segora is going to do a monster fucking towards Ghana. Or I think he's going to put out, wait, I'm going to shut the fuck up here because I don't want to fucking, I don't want to fucking let the cat out of the bag. God damn it. I'm going to text him and make sure I'm before I post this. So if you're listening to it, I'm, I, you know, it's was common knowledge before this shit. I would do it. I would fucking love my, bring my wife down there. That's my, that's my white guy understanding that you guys all listen to still the girl from Imponina, which I know you don't. So go fuck

yourself. I'm just giving you shit here in Bogota, our capital. I hope I said that right. You would easily sell out a four to 500 seat venue. Hey, I'm taking a loss on this trip. Jesus Christ, I got to fly 14 hours to play in front of 400 people. I'd still do it just to go down there. Because the, whatever I would make on the gig would pay for the, the, the flight. Then I got to bring my wife and all the fucking bags. Yeah. I'm, I'm going to take a bath on this one. A lot of people watch your stuff. Please do not believe the portrayal of Columbia in Narcos and all that mafia shit. You and your family would love it here. Delicious food, some of the warmest people you'll meet and one natural wonder following the other. Let me tell

you something. You people are so goddamn good looking down there. I don't give a shit if that Narcos shit was true. I would still go down there. Um, smoke a fucking Cuban cigar. God knows they're probably most of them are fake down there too. Let me tell you something, uh, senior, whatever I'm a mister, whatever I'm supposed to say, I will fucking come down there when this shit is fucking over apps of fucking Lutley. I will do that. And, uh, I just need somebody down there to tell me where I can get a real Cuban cigar. All right. I don't want to go all the way down there and just, I don't want to deal with that shit and not, I mean, and smoke a fake one. All right. Cause I told you the last two real ones I smoked was in

fucking Tel Aviv, kind of fucking life of my living that I get to travel and meet all of these beautiful, I'll tell you another fucking beautiful people is Rayleigh's. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, beautiful people in Tel Aviv. Okay. And not to start some shit here. The Palestinian chicks were beautiful too. All right. Bunch of beautiful fucking people over there. There we go. Look at me. We are the world. Um, I would love to do that. Uh, besides you would be the first ginger in Columbia since the English pirates tried to rob our land and rape our women some 500 years ago. I don't want to show up and like, ah, fuck their back. Um, I don't, you know, I don't, I never, what, I don't understand. We're raping. I just don't

understand rape. I mean, that's like fishing in a stock pond. I mean, where's the satisfaction? You know, wouldn't you, you know, talk some shit, see if you can fucking make it happen. What the fuck are you going to do after you do that to somebody? Walk up and slap a fucking ice cream out of some little kid's hand? Why don't they put rapists in jail? They should just fucking kill them. Um, anyway, so you know, California is open too. Um, so you know, California is open too. Hey, you ginger coastal fuck, listen to the Thursday rant, May 14th on Wisconsin, opening up and wanted to let you know, city boy, city boy, LA ass know that we also have fat ass

is already sitting in bars and restaurants in the great state of California. Yeah, I realize that, but not LA. Most people forget California is more than just San Francisco and LA, but up in gold country, we are open for business. No, I understand that and I made fun of that too. Didn't I? Or did I not? Oh, the Oasis. There was one up there the way they said, we are an Oasis of COVID. There's no COVID here. Um, listen, you fucking touchy cunt. I didn't mean to trigger you. I am rooting for Wisconsin. I said I was rooting for him, but this is a comedy podcast. I just did fucking 55 minutes NFL stats. Somebody has to take a hit here. All right. I know you enjoyed your Sacramento area shows. Why don't you drive your ass up here?

I don't know because of murder mountain. I'm joking. I tried to do a show in Eureka and then somehow it went away. Zero COVID deaths, 100% small businesses, beautiful this time of year, and you wouldn't have to leave your state from a fellow redheaded German Irish cunt. You know what? I'm going to look into that. Who the fuck am I? I got a kid coming in like two weeks. My wife's not going to let me do that. You're just going to leave us in the middle of a pandemic. She sounds like Jerry Seinfeld when she gets upset with me. She'd be right. And then what am I? I'm just going to drive up there and stop at all these fucking gas stations where all these dirty digits had been punching in their fucking zip code for their fucking, uh, I could still do it, right? I just

come up like I don't need to wear a mask at a gas station pump as long as there's nobody else there. But all I know somebody just left there and sneezed or some cunts going to pull up on the other side of the thing. You know, I just wear them and I wear the gloves. You know, that's it. And then when I'm done with my gas, I take off the rubber gloves and then I fucking, um, I open my, the door handle and I make sure, you know, my fingers they were in the gloves so they didn't do that. I open it up with fucking two fingers. Then my wife sprays me with the disinfectant and I get back in the car and I'm gone. That's how I've been doing it. And you know what? I've been symptom free. All right. All right. Tough times. Dear bill of sale. I own a small to midsize

business in Baltimore. I employ 12 part time employees. I'm, this is already going to be heartbreaking to read this. We opened up our shop last week and have maintained a safe environment for patrons while also increasing the chances of not having to shut down for good, which sadly has become a reality. Well, I'm rooting for everybody in your situation. My wife's cousin told her on the phone last night that we were selfish, which is fine as long as my kids have food and I can pay my monthly health insurance bill. You can call me what you want. I think there are a lot of people judging unfairly and it doesn't seem like anyone in charge or on television cares. No, because they have money. I laughed when you hammered Wisconsin last week because it was

funny. Thanks for the laughs through all of this PS. I'm black and if I fail, that's one less black business owner. So if all these work shamers want to talk about socioeconomic injustice, look at the fact that we can't all work from home. Yeah, it's true. Like something's gonna, I think the big thing now is that first email, if that was correct, that information and this person actually does work from the CD, you know, does work. I mean, I don't know. They just said that they did. So I didn't vet any of that. If everybody really knew what the fuck they needed to do to prevent the spread of it, I think that like that's what needs to happen. And then all these geniuses who are going to come up hopefully with a cure, you know, I think that that's what

we're going to gradually work towards. Everybody needs to be educated. So I would suggest going on to the CDC website podcast like myself and that I would be definitely would not be looking at like that's 100% accurate information because I just read something from someone who declared that they do all this shit and for I don't fucking know. So I would listen to what they say, educate yourself, go to their website and all of that. And then hopefully we can slow this thing down. And then when they gradually open everything up, I mean, that seems like right. Everybody's just patient. You stand there. You will pay the six feet rule. You go in when you can go in. And then I also suggest, you know, as much as you can, if you can afford it to buy, there's a toy store.

You know, there's a toy store in Mammoth, California that's been there for like 40 something years that we got to know just from going, you know, we had some friends out there and all of that. And there's a nice strip of stores in Mammoth, California that I would like to order some stuff from just because I heard that, you know, that they're really hurting. And this is like the thing that I don't want to see go away because it's bad enough that there's so many fucking Walmart's and these giant fucking places that have knocked out because it's such if you if you Google Earth it and you just go down that street, you just see it's like it's like it's what downtown's used to look like. And it's what the Walmart's and all those things

destroyed. But something new always does come along and then destroys the old thing. But I don't know, it's it, you know, there was always just something cool. I don't mind either one. I don't mind a superstore and I don't mind a mom and pop. I think there's a world for both. And in which I just know that the superstores can ride this shit out way longer than the other ones. So I would hate to see that happen because my I have not had good experiences doing business with corporations. They just they are so fucking broken that they consider stealing from you. This is how business is done. And they sit there and they say it with a straight face. And then when you audit them or you call them out on what they're doing, they actually have the nerve to

say that they're insulted by the court by the I'm insulted by these questions. Well, of course, you're insulted because you can't answer the questions because it's going to expose you for what the fuck you're doing. You piece of shit. Sorry. Anytime I've been I've gotten in business with any sort of fucking corporation, I they've stolen from me, I've then had to audit them. I've always every time I've audit, we always catch them stealing. It's fucking unbelief. And it's just like, this is how business is done. We're just going to steal from you. We know you're going to audit us. Then we're going to debate the audit and we'll end up, you know, giving you anything from 60 to 80% of what we really owed you. So we'll still be plus 40 or

20% on the stealing side. And then they come up to you and smile. Oh, that was so great. Great performance. They're just soulless fucking people. And I have no problem fucking, I don't give a shit. That's just what it is. So that's why, you know, I'm not saying everybody that owns a small business is a saint either. I'm just saying. Anyway, all right, food. Bill, if you could walk into any restaurant right now in any city and order any meal and casually cough into your sleeve on the way out the door without anyone losing their shit, what would it be? Oh, wow. Wow. Let me see here. Oh, that's a good one. My first thought was to go back to Boston and get some fucking Chinese food. I'd go there with my lovely wife. I'd get some crab rangoon.

We'd get the whole fucking poo poo plat or the chicken fingers, the duck sauce, all of that. You know, just delicious heart attack, no nutrition in it. You're hungry 20 minutes later because your body sifted through all of it and found no nutrition. I think I would do that. That's if I was on the East Coast out here in LA. I would take my wife to one of my favorite burgers stands out here, Billsburgers. Maybe I would go there. I have a couple of spots for burritos. This is something I used to love to do and then hated myself in the morning back when I was drinking. There was a couple of food trucks out here and I would be fucking shitfaced and I would come home and I would stop at the food truck, which was always tricky with the Uber guy. You were like,

all right, can I buy you something? You'd have to try to time it because you don't want your fucking food to get cold or whatever, but also, I'm not going to drink and drive. I would always go up and I would get, I'm a fucking chicken burrito order. That's my shit. Then what I started to do was I was just like, I'm just this fucking white dude that knows nothing about Mexican cuisine and all I ever order is the chicken burrito. Then what I started to do was I would order the chicken burrito and then I would pick something by the picture that I had never tried before. After drinking all the booze, the beer, and then the shots of booze, I would then eat that stuff and then go right to fucking bed and I would just have my big doughy white stomach

the next day and then I wouldn't notice and I would just be doing that shit and then all of a sudden, there'd be some sort of something where I had to wear a suit, some sort of event and all of my suits, I do this on purpose, are tailored for in shape me. So I try them on and then I can't button them. I'm like, motherfucker, and then it just makes, it makes me lose weight. The worst thing that you can do to yourself and the length of your life is to let out your pants in your suit, is to go and buy bigger fucking clothes, is to start just wearing sweatpants and track suits everywhere you go, even though I love wearing that shit. You have to be careful because you will not notice, you won't notice that you're putting on weight until somebody says something

and usually that's about 15 pounds in and who the fuck wants to have to lose 15 pounds on up. All right, all right, other songs. Bill, last week you talked about more than words on the Thursday throwback song. On the Thursday, the throwback song was wholehearted by extreme. I hadn't heard that song in 20 years, maybe I've had it stuck in my head all week. Oh, I haven't heard that song in 20 years maybe and I've had that song stuck in my head all week. Sorry guys, Jesus, extra bad today. It got me thinking about bands that were known for one song but had another great hit that was forgotten. Maybe this can be a segment. Can you think of any off the top of your head? Yes, I can. The first one that popped into my head and it's funny is I don't know their hit. I would say is

Night Ranger. Night Ranger songs. Let's see here. So everybody knows Sister Christian. Right? And I always liked Don't Tell Me You Love Me. I always thought that that was a better song. And then if you looked at Lover Boy, everybody, everybody's working for the weekend. Everybody liked that song. I liked Lucky Ones. I liked that song. AC DC. Everybody listens to You Shook Me All Night Long. Right? And if you listen to that album, have a drink on me. Honey, what do you do for money? I just fucking, I don't, I can't tell if they're way better songs. They just haven't been played to fucking death. Everybody plays Highway to Hell and I always like, I like Get It Hot or If You Want Blood. The whole Powerage album is gold. What's that song on the second side? I

always play drums to it. I always listen to drums so I never listen to lyrics. Long I'm looking for a fingerprint. Trying to find a mystery clue. It's your love that I want boo-doo-doo. It's your love. Whatever that's. What's Next to the Moon? Love that song. And then everybody, Judas Priest, everybody, you got another thing coming. I always liked Desert Plains, which by the way, I was going to do a benefit for them before all this bullshit, all this bullshit happened. I was going to do a benefit for Glenn Tipton, I believe. He had some health issues going on and he started a charity and it's just like, I love doing shit like that for people that gave me like the amount of happiness in my teenage years because there was

a band called Judas Priest that was making music. So now I'm in a position where I can do my little shit jokes and maybe help out someone in the band. It just really seemed like a great thing to do with something that I want to do when all this bullshit is over. So there's a number of things I got to do. I got to do that. I got to go get some Chinese food in Boston and I got to go do a show in Columbia. Look at this. All right, let's go back here. So you guys tell me, that's a great question, everybody. I want to know, you tell me what the best songs are where everybody's like, oh my god, everybody like, because you can be like a radio fan and then you're like the deep cut fan. So basically what you're asking for is a deep cut. Okay, Aerosmith. Aerosmith, that's a good

one. Everybody knows the hits. All right, let's just go favorite album. All right, I like, oh, this is tough. They're their first four albums. So I would say that everybody, okay, in the first album, everybody listens to Dream On. I like that. Moving out. We all live on the edge of town where we all live in a soul around. I like that one. And then on Get Your Wings. Let's see. Oh, Lord of the Thighs. I'm going for memory here. I just know all the drum beats. I'm singing the drum beats and I'm trying to remember. SOS is a good song. And what is the one, she's a woman of the world and God, she knows it. I just love the breakdown. I love Joey Kramer's drumming in that. I love his drumming in general, but I just love that it just,

it's sort of weird hits. And then he always comes back. He used to fuck me up trying to play it. These weird accents and he would always come back. I always, you know, I put the kick on two instead of on one. I would always end up fucking it up. And then I would say on Toys in the Attic. Oh, that great triplet fill in the beginning. Uncle Salty. I always loved the drum fill that went into that. And then I also loved the chorus on the bell and then on the toms. I love Joey's drumming on that. And then, oh yeah, and just on Toys in the Attic.

When he does, he does the crash symbol on the end of one and the end of three, I think, and then he still hits the backbeat on the snare to keep it going. Sort of a Phil Rudd thing before Phil Rudd came on the scene right around the time. It was fucking such great drumming. And then on Rocks, is what is that song? Something walking on Gucci, Saint Laurent, barely stay on cause I'm so goddamn gone. Whatever that fucking song, it's the first song, second side. You know, unless you've got it digitally, I don't know what the fucking,

I could kind of do that for every favorite band of mine. Iron Maiden, all that. That's a great, great topic. I'm gonna hear from you guys. Let me know about those ones. All right, 80s videos. Hey Bill, I thought you might get a kick out of these videos. I like watching old PSA promotional videos for some reason. And here's one called Shake Hands with Danger. It's from 1980. It's about working safely around heavy machinery. But the way it's narrated and scored is really funny. All right, I'm gonna post all of these. The next is a music video called Pump Iron. The song is about a guy who hates his job and gets bored and irritated easily. So he goes to the gym constantly to work out his stress.

There's a part in the song where he basically says, my family is pissing me off and I have too much work to do around the house. So fucking, I'm going to the gym. I'm not doing it justice, but I think you'll like it. Are you fucking kidding me? That's some of the greatest lyrics ever written. Just a couple of things for you to fill your time while you're in lockdown if you want. Thank you for the podcast and everything you do. You keep me out of my own head at work for a few hours a week and that makes a big difference. All right, no worries. I gotta wait a minute. I need to post both of these is what I need to do. All right, that is the podcast. I gotta check with Segura. Don't forget to do that. All right,

cool. All right. Thank you everybody for listening. I hope some of the old NFL and COVID information was helpful. Send me your songs. Give me some deep cuts to your favorite bands. And I know I have way more than that because I would listen to the radio and like the band would come on like, why the fuck are they always playing this song? Why don't they play this? Give this other one a fucking chance. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday.