Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 5-29-17

Episode Date: May 29, 2017

Bill rambles about grilling, cultural appropriation and driving and ambulance.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, Monday, Monday! May 29th, 2017. What's going on? How are you? How are you guys doing? Happy Memorial Day.

Happy Memorial Day. When you're supposed to be out there remembering the troops, you're going to be getting hammered. It's the same bad shit to your wife that you later have to apologize for. What's going on? You fucking soon-to-be fat fucks. You got the grill going, ba-da-da-da-da, ba-da-da-da, right? We got a little kibosh. What are you guys making today?

What fucking animal had to get the old right there, Fred? In an uppercut to another one, you fucking sewed them together. What in God's name do you have on your grill right now that you know you're fucking-what you put in there? A bunch of cheese? Who wants cheese on their burger? Come on. These things are going to fucking burn.

Carrot. Oh, you know what's the best? You put the buns on. You keep checking. You keep checking. But you're looking at the meat. Don't want to burn the buns. Christ, they burned this one.

That's your right. I don't eat that one. I like it when it burns. I bet she swallows. I'm sorry. Why, Bill? Why? Why did you have to take the nice family day that this is?

You know, that the great men of this country fought so you could go out there, you know, work slowly, work your way, take another step towards a fucking massive coronary. How many people are going to face plant to their grill today via too much alcohol? You know, just eating that last thing that fucking makes the ticker stop or, you know, the classic old fucking middle-aged man injury, the fucking blown out Achilles, you know? Oh, did you say you wanted pickles and you just turned a little too fast and pow, that shit goes right up the back of your leg? Then you face plant right to your fucking grill.

Side of the face. Right? You'd be surprised. I bet if I could somehow get some sort of live, you know, phoneers in here, I bet my phone lines would be lighting up right now with paramedics, fire department people, people that drive ambulances. Is the driver of the ambulance, do you actually have to know how to help people or are you just like the guy, the getaway driver?

You know, all you need to do is know how to turn on the siren, you know, be able to block it out. Do you think ambulance drivers here, that siren at night is a lay, they're quiet bedroom, you know, probably have to put fucking music on because they don't, they're just laying there and all he is, slowly going insane. I don't know. I'm in a great fucking mood, you know, my lovely little lady is starting to sleep through the night.

I'm starting to get some sleep again. Dude, she's hilarious. She just does this thing now. She's trying out her voice. She just goes like loud as shit, laying in the bed in the morning between me and Nia just fucking a little mini Jerry Lewis the entire time. So I just put my hand over her mouth and I just make it go like I think it and then she kind of like looks around like what the fuck was that and that stops her for about

four seconds before she starts again and then she gets used to the noise. And then that's it. She's starting to crawl. She's fucking moving backwards. It's funny. Like they, I guess they move backwards first. So it's like the thing that they want, it just keeps getting further and further away. Like that Alfred Hitchcock shot.

But anyways, I had family from back east out here this weekend, which means plenty of booze, plenty of fucking crazy food. So I've been doing the elliptical every day, doing what I can. But you know, this is like, at this point, everybody who's going to come out here has come out here. They've all seen her. They all love her. And what's awesome is now I don't have to, I realize now when people visit me, they're

not coming to see me, which is fucking awesome. They're coming to see her. Oh, hey, Bill. How you doing? Where is she? Where is she? Oh, would you look at her looking? That's great.

She's got her heel off in the back, you know, all your family members come over and they all get to hold her and stuff, you know, so then you get to sit there boozing in the corner. Happy holidays. No, it's been great. She's awesome. She's so awesome. I'm not getting any fucking material out of it. Every woman's telling me, oh my God, you having a kid, I can't wait for you to become a dad.

Oh my God. I want to see how your rack changes. It hasn't. I'm still paranoid. I'm still filthy. And my daughter's awesome. So, you know, that's not funny. Hey, Bill, what's like being a dad?

It's great. It's phenomenal. I think most of my material is just about other fucking lunatic parents. I'm telling you what, I'm going to start saying to people when they go, oh, she's, oh, yeah, that's a great age. Oh, wait, wait till three days from now, then, oh, well, you go, she's going to tell she'll fucking start stabbing you in the night. You know, I'm going to start saying to those parents, I'm just going to be like, you know,

you sound like a horrible father and I think you married the wrong person. Have a nice day. How you could look at this experience in a negative way is fucking, look, if you're broke, if you're a kid, if you're a fucking high school student, right? And you know, you started banging your goddamn English teacher, you didn't know enough to pull out as much as they told you in sex education, how much, you know, how a baby's made. You couldn't fucking believe you were banging your English teacher and then next thing you know, you're going to be a father.

Yeah. Then, then it's brutal, you know, you're married to this fucking old broad who's always correcting your fucking sentences, you know, you're calling her out for dressing like a whore and she's fucking giving you shit for a, for a dangling participle, whatever the fuck. I never knew what that meant. The past participle, Bill, what's the past participle of this sentence? I don't know. Just send me to summer school.

Just give me, give me in that fucking distilled version of this class that is nothing that dream team of class clowns that is summer school, drug addicts and musicians. It was just fucking tremendous summer school underrated. I tell you, I went, I did it twice. I should have done it all four years of high school, but I blew off the last year because what was the fucking point? My sophomore year, my teacher hooked me up and gave me the D minus D minus and geometry. I fucking had a great time.

I had a great time. I had to take one class. You know, got me out of bed in the morning and summer school was combined like three towns where I lived and it was a, it was all the class clowns. Just like I said, creative people, everybody had ADD and the level of shit that they gave to the teacher. I was like, wow, I got to up my game. These people are on a whole nother level.

It's like when you go to jail, you become like a better criminal. I became a better class clown. Just sitting there like, wow, these guys are fucking, these guys have no intention of going to college. I'm at least still lying to myself. Yeah. You know, I think I could go in the later rounds. If you were a fucking draft pick, be honest with yourself.

You were a high school student. What round are you going in? You know, and if you really think about it, that's why Bill Belichick, he doesn't like the first round draft picks because the first round draft picks, they're like book smart, right? They're the fucking nerds. You know, you give them some information, they'll memorize it and they'll spit it right back at you.

Right? There's no passion. They don't walk into a room and light it up. This is a bad analogy because first round draft picks do, I guess, do they? I don't know about college basketball now with everybody one and done. You bring this fucking kid to a locker room full of men and you're going to put the team on his back, bony fucking legs. Well, Bill, what are they supposed to do?

Well, a lot of them, you know, it's like their mothers, you know, they need a new kidney and the shack they live in is following, okay, fair enough, fair enough, you know, but selfishly as a fan, you know, you miss the days when somebody had four years with fucking coach Kay or Dean Smith, rest his soul. Bobby Knight flipping them in the chin, stop looking down on the brandy fucking man. I've told that before. I tell you how much I fucking love that Bobby Knight speech where he says, you know, I'm not going to, you're not going to, I'm not going to walk around with a 14 to 28 bracket.

I don't know what it is about that guy. I listened to that speech and it makes me want to go fucking. I don't know. I'll go to the gym. I have to listen to that guy. Something happened, you know, when that guy got ran out of town, that was, that was a, you know, then all of a sudden, like guys steered into just literally being pussies like fucking wearing shirts with cats on them and stuff.

You know, my wife was showing me that like there's a men's onesie that's out there now that guys are wearing. I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding. Like when is it going to, when is it going to steer back to testosterone? When is the guy's guy going to make a comeback? I mean, everything makes a comeback, right? Like rock, disco, hair metals, make it a little bit of a comeback. I don't fucking, I, you know, I just don't get it.

So then somebody's showed me, well, they were like, well, Sean Connery wore one in one of the James Bond movies and it's like, all right, but he wasn't wearing it. Like he thought it looked good. He wasn't wearing it because it was fucking stupid. You know, that's what I can't fucking stand. It means like mocking something else. It's like, all right, so what do you believe it? What are you going to fucking sign your name to?

And these fucking millennial cunts, I can't say all of them. That's not fair to a whole generation. But so the ones that at least they're taken pictures of, okay, which granted most of these pictures are being taken care, taken by older people from my generation who are jealous of younger people. That's what a lot of it is. I bet. I bet I'm overreacting.

When I really think about it, I don't really see a lot of people with cats on their shirts. Although when they do, people take pictures of them, then they post them on social media and then old fucks like me start going, oh, look at these fucking millennials. Dad, the fucking, all right, so scratch all of that. I mean, really, Bill, have you seen anybody with a onesie? Somebody just showed you a picture and then you literally started freaking out like you watch CNN or Fox News for two hours. That's always a great thing to do.

Watch those for a couple, two, three hours and they get you all panicked. What you want to do is you want to switch between the two of them, right? And then you balance out the lives and you keep yourself level headed. You don't fake news, tell fake news. So anyways, I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be that guy. Okay. God bless you, millennials.

I'm sure there's plenty of guys, guys on the way. You're out there fucking crushing ass and God bless you. Joy your youth, joy your fucking youth before it's Memorial Day. And suddenly you're that guy with the dad bod standing in front of the grill, feeling that tightness in your Achilles, you know, and you got to reach for that last burger on the back of the fucking grill. You just start feeling that tightness in your ankle and you're like, God, if it's going to happen, please don't let it happen now.

Not in front of my family baggy. He is guests. The movie, by the way, that I am referring to, we had problems with the family baggaged. This I was going to say I'd give you a hint, but this isn't really a hint. In my opinion, that movie, it's a car movie. For me, I just feel like that movie is a car movie. Other people thought there was some philosophical question. You know, who's the fly?

Who's the windshield? All I remember from that movie was I love the car because I love a fucking sleeper. I remember the car that was a sleeper and then I just remembered that there was this one guy was having problems with the family baggaged. And that explained his entire fucking backstory. That's it now. If you guys can't guess it now. I don't know what to tell you.

All right? They had a fucking pizza. Power. Yeah. Can I get a sausage and arugula? We got no arugula. You know, any arugula? Yeah, we had family.

We had problems with the family baggaged. It won't give us arugula. Anyway, so what'd you guys do this weekend? Other ones sit around. You know what I did? I watched. Somebody tweeted me on the old Twitter. And told me, are you watching the time trials for Monaco?

And is the thing, I, you know, I'm new to F1. As you guys know, I can barely remember the fucking names. So I'm like, I'm going to, I didn't, I didn't know idea like how they qualify for a race. I just thought you'd, you know, you get like five laps around the race. Whoever has the best time gets the pole position. And then they just work their way back. But that, that, that is not how it works. It's like a whole other day of racing.

Cause I always wonder why the fuck do people show up to watch these, these qualifying. I mean, just watch some guy by himself out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's got to be an eighth place tomorrow. Um, that's not how it works. It is the race before the race. And it's like there's three race.

So there's three levels of the qualifying. There's like, first of all, there's practice laps. Get used to the track. And if you don't do the practice laps, you're not allowed to race. So obviously there's probably some safety thing like, dude, you're not just going to fucking go out there and start driving 200 miles an hour. Is this next one a right or a left turn? Yeah.

Um, qualifying. Okay. So there's, there's like three rounds of it. So qualifying the first round one, it's like much madness, but with guys, um, it lasts for 18 minutes. Everybody gets on the fucking track. I'm sure they, I don't know, they let six out and another six. I don't know how the fuck they do it.

I missed that part of it. Okay. But it lasts for 18 minutes at the end of which time. Can you tell them reading this? The six slowest drivers are eliminated from qualifying and 16 advanced to QT, the qualifying two. So those six are going to be, and I thought, Oh my God, are they out of the fucking race? Is this like golf?

Will you miss the cut? And I found out later. No, they just start way in the back. Okay. So, um, so there's 22 fucking drivers, I guess. So let's see. The six of them are fucking eliminated. They're not there.

Usually only 20 drivers to two not kept to go home. I have no idea if anybody knows the information to that. I don't know if anybody, if you don't move to the next round of qualifying, if anybody actually doesn't get to race, um, cause I thought there was 20 cars in the race. And according to this mask, there's 22, but whatever. So six are eliminated in the first one. Then the next 16, you know, after a short break, the times are reset and the 16 remaining cars run in a 15 minute session.

So now we're down to 15. Uh, and at the end of which the slowest six cars are eliminated from qualifying, leaving 10 to progress to qualifying three. Now the top 10 spots after the race, those, that's when you're in the points from first all the way to 10th. It's like something like 25 points for first 18 for second, then it's like 15, then 12, 10, eight, six, four, two, one are the points. Huh?

You're in the, you're in the fucking lightning round at that point. Um, and then whoever obviously has the best run after that gets the, uh, qualifying three after further break times a reset in the final 12 minute session is held to decide pole position in the standing order of the top 10 grid places. That's when you're in the points. All right. That's when you're going home with least with the fucking year supplier, right? So Roni, if you're in the top 10, so I watched it cause somebody on Twitter is like, dude,

you got to watch this. This might be better than the race. So, uh, Lewis Hamilton from the Isle of Man, it's an island with men, nothing but men all walking around like Roy, where the fucking ladies, the birds, whatever the fuck they call slags. Anyways, he's out there. He's got Mercedes. He's got one of the fastest fucking cars out there, but for whatever fucking reason, he's

not getting enough downward force or something on the front of his car and the front end is sliding all over everywhere. So he barely gets out of qualifying one. He gets into qualifying two and it's, there's a 15 minute session and he's outside of the qualifying to get to the next level. His time is too slow. So he's got time to do one more run. Okay.

Now he's in second place overall for the, um, for the, uh, to become champ, to stand, to stay on pace, to be whatever the fucking best driver of the year. I'm sorry guys. I'm new to this fucking thing. Um, and his fucking front end starts sliding all over the place and then some cunt hits the wall. So then the yellow flag comes out and I guess that doesn't matter. If some asshole drives into the fucking wall, your qualifying time is done.

This fucking idiot, he's a professional driver. He hits the wall. I don't, how do you hit the wall? I get it. You call, you know, they said they actually put some special steering in. They make custom steering just for that fucking track in Monaco because they're just driving through the streets and they have such a hairpin turn that they actually have to turn the wheel harder than they do any other race.

You know, why wouldn't they just leave that in? Wouldn't you want to have that option in case you had to drive all the way around something at some point in the other races? Evidently not. Um, so anyways, long story short, this fucking guy, I think from Force India with the Fuchsia car, just basically, you know, he pulls the Greg Bate Brady, you know, got to beat Marsha, get closer than a quarter of an inch. He fucking slams right into the wall and then that's it.

And Lewis Hamilton was so fucking dejected. He couldn't even get out of his car. You know, and long story short, the fucking Ferraris, what a fuck does my goddamn computer keep doing this to me? Trying to get the screen to come up. Can you stay up? Do I got to sit there fingering the fucking thing the whole time? Um, yeah.

So long story short, the Ferraris won the first and second position. And I think, uh, that boutas guy, the Finnish dude started in third and Lewis Hamilton was all the way back in 14th. So he's out of the points and you're driving through the fucking streets of Monaco, a sovereign state. In other words, they're in France, but they're not part of France. Like, yeah, fuck off. We're doing our own thing here.

And, um, I guess it's really hard to pass there. But despite that, the fucking race starts and immediately he went from 14th to 12th and I'm watching the race. And I'm like, this motherfucker, he's probably going to finish fourth. He's somehow going to figure somebody's going to fuck up in their pitstop. Something's going to happen. So the whole time I'm watching the race and I'm watching, then he's 12th, then he's 11th, then he's 10th.

And the fucking announcers are blowing it off because they're too busy looking at the, what the Ferraris are going to do, what the Red Bull team's doing, what, what the fuck Bhutas is going to be doing in the Mercedes. And meanwhile he has Lewis Hamilton just moving. This is the longest I've ever talked about racing. They got to feel people like, dude, I don't give a fuck, dude. They're driving around in a circle. Um, no, they're not.

They're not driving around. There's left and right turns. All right. There's a chicane. Dude, you at least got to watch Monaco. You should have watched Monaco with the fucking Illuminati people fucking back their yachts up. So I went online and I found like you can actually, there's a lot of them are just like packages.

Like those aren't just rich people with their yachts backed up. There's just a lot of like booze cruises and you can sit there on a fucking yacht, getting hammered, acting like you didn't just light up your fucking credit card. Whatever, Stacey, we'll deal with it when we get back. We get bagged. So long story short, uh, on a track that you could not fucking pass on, somehow Lewis passed seven fucking people, finished seventh. So let's see that's a one, two.

He got like six points or something like that. And the Ferraris came in first and second. All right. Uh, Sebastian Vettel ended up winning after a great fucking pit stop. What's his face? Uh, Kimmy Reichenan, is that his fucking name? Reichenan or whatever, finished dude. Sebastian's the crowd, the German dude.

He fucking comes out of the pit before me. Then you hit Kimmy going like, what the fuck? He sounded like me when somebody cut me off for traffic, but he's driving like 170 miles an hour. Uh, and then what's his face? Daniel always a bridesmaid, never a fucking winner. Ricardo came in fucking third. The guy's always on the podium, never comes in first.

He's got to be pissed like guys, what the fuck? Can you do some to the car here so I can get past these Ferraris and Mercedes? I mean, what do I got to do here? Um, so long story short, Ferrari as a team has 196 points. Mercedes has 179. And the Americans, the Yanks, just to let you know, we're pulling up the rear. We got our first points of the season. Uh, what do we got?

We got Romain, like the lettuce, a gross gene. He got nine points. And then Kevin Magnuson, like the condoms got five. So we got 14 points. So just those Ferraris and Mercedes better mind their fucking P's and Q's because the Yanks are coming. All right. Thank you for fucking sitting through all of that shit.

Um, let's talk about Tiger Woods. Jesus fucking Christ. Can you believe he got arrested for drinking and driving? It only happens to nine zillion people every fucking day. I'm so sick of people talking about Tiger Woods, like the way they disrespect this guy. You know, I love Stephen A Smith, but I started watching him talking and he was saying that, you know, that, you know, this guy's just his fall from basically his fall from grace. And, um, and how his whole, you know, he became a billionaire and his whole fucking thing was

based on the fact that he presented himself as a family man. And I'm thinking like, when the fuck did that guy, when the fuck did he ever present himself as a family man? Didn't he get to where the fuck he was because he was the best golf or anybody had ever seen? Because he was making like PGA fucking links look like, like he was playing miniature golf. I never pay attention to that fucking blonde. He was, I don't even know her fucking name. And then, so he bangs a bunch of Hooters horse and then I'm supposed, then I'm supposed to sit on the couch going, you lied to me, Tiger.

I thought after your golf, you fucking went down to Applebee's with your family and fucking your family bankies and you shared a fucking blooming onion. I have to be honest with you. I never once thought about what the fuck that guy did when he got off the golf course. And when I found out what he was doing off the golf course, I was like, yeah, I mean, that kind of makes sense. I am just gonna say this, the amount of fucking men. 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:09,960 When Stephen A Smith walks out of his studio, you know, he doesn't have a line of horse just waiting to fucking blow him just so they could say,

I blew Stephen A Smith. Tiger Woods had to deal with that. And like most men, he folded under the pressure and the fucking reason why he's not doing well right now is not because of his fucking wife, who by the way, took a bunch of his money, bought a house, fucking knocked it down and then rebuilt another one. Huh? What about her? I thought she was an environmentalist. She lied to me.

Right? What about her? What about old blondie right there? I used to do a bit about this. Do you think she would even give Tiger Woods a second fucking glance if he wasn't making all that money? If he wasn't the greatest at what he did? Would old blonde blue-eyed even give that guy a fucking second? I don't think she would have.

All right. Even when you're a bum like me, when you fucking walked into the singles bar back in the nineties, what did women always say? What do you do? They're not making small talk. Okay. Women all fucking judge. Okay.

Their status. And then they get a number in their head. All right. And then they find out the jobs. Okay. That earn this and earn that. And then they figure it like who they can fuck. Okay.

And then it becomes a thing of like, okay, you're underneath what I want for the lifestyle that I'm looking for in the future. But you're a good looking enough guy that I'll fucking bang it tonight. Maybe I'll have a little fling with you. But that's good. At the end of the fucking day, you know, when you slid that piece of paper across the table and you made your offer say, my dick and balls bring home this each year. They're like, yeah, keep it moving. Keep it moving.

That's that's 10 grand less than I want. And you got that one snaggle tooth. Fuck off. Move on. Who's next? Go ahead. Put your junk on the table. What's your number?

And here's it. And here's the thing. I don't fault women for that. Who wants to live like a bum? If you're good and if you're good looking enough. Okay. And you can land somebody that's making a ton of fucking money. You can learn to love that, right?

I don't know. So anyway, so now he gets busted for drinking and driving. And this is the bottom line. This fucking guy's fall from grace. Okay. All right, I'll give you the first fucking couple of years after his divorce. Like maybe that got in his fucking head. I mean, he got divorced 10 fucking years ago.

What happened was, was his marriage and his body broke down at the same fucking time. The guy just had major back surgery. His knees are fucked up. And they always said they said back when everybody thought he was the family man back. He's that the way that the level of torque and the pressure that he was putting on his back, they predicted his body was going to break down and it did. And then when it does, you know, now they're going to blame, you know, it's the classic lady's just taking credit.

That's all it is. They always take her behind you. Every great man is a good woman. You know, they, okay. All right. Is it, I don't know. I mean, what's your definition of great? I mean, but every great man is a great woman.

It's like the guy was already a fucking champion when he met you. So if you're talking about his mother, I'll give you that. But this whole fucking thing. Well now, I mean, Jesus, I got to tell you his mugshot. Oh, that's a classic one. I'd like to have a couple of pops with tiger. Holy shit. He needs, this is what he needs to do.

He needs to hit the fucking treadmill. All right. And he's got to shave his fucking head already. You got to let that go. You know, oh God, he comes to Monday morning. It comes to MMP Photoshop. Can you please Photoshop my fucking head? Underneath tiger with his fucking hair.

Oh God, you know, it's funny is he looks like he's fucking wasted, but you know what he's saying. He's looking into the camera going, well, I know a billion people are going to see this. What the fuck are they going to say about this one? I don't, I can't even to begin to tell you guys. I can't, I can't even begin to tell you guys how bad I want to see this guy win a major again. Look at this. Editors pick the secret history of Tiger Woods.

Now, how much do you think they actually talked to Tiger Woods? So the death of his father set a battle raging inside the world's greatest golfer. Dish dish. How the fuck do you know? Why? Cause you talked to his gardener. Is that the closest you could get to him? And now you're going to write 400 pages of bullshit.

Listen, do me a favor. Don't listen to any of this stuff. Okay. He's a man. He makes mistakes. He's in the public eye. I hope his back gets better. You know what?

I hope he goes out like fucking who's that guy used to fucking just sit there. The big dude that put the blonde hair and he's fucking sit there. I think he played Oliver on the Brady Bunch way back in the day. And then when he grew up, he became this drunk. He was this alcoholic fucking. He, he could hit the ball a fucking mile out. God damn it. It's going to kill me.

I got to look this up here. Alcoholic golfer. Driver long. That's how I search. And John daily. There we go. Bam nailed it. Um, John, you know, I hope he comes back.

Like a combination like, I don't know, a Terminator and John daily. That's what I want. I want a fucking drunk cyborg going out there and I hope he fucking passes Jack Nicholas and just, you know, I don't understand people that look at people in the public eye to the point that they, they disappoint them. You know, get a fucking life. Jesus Christ. What was that fucking movie?

Captain Kirk. When he did the sketch talking to the Trekkies on SNL, get a fucking life. You know, guys, I don't know. I don't know if you noticed the last couple of weeks. I've been a little, uh, I don't know. I've been a little down, you know, and I know the podcast hasn't been as good as it has been in the past. And that's just cause, uh, uh, you know, I feel like Tiger Woods let me down.

You know, all those times I've never met him or even remotely spoken to him. Um, you know, I just really thought we had something there and for him to turn around and, uh, go back on his word that he never gave me because I've never spoken with him. I just, I was devastated and, uh, I'm not going to be able to come into work today. Oh man, I hope that guy wins another fucking major. I can't even tell you. I can't, I can't even fucking, I just did tell you, didn't I?

I think I just did tell you. Um, hey, last week I was talking about helicopters and, uh, you know, I know some pilots listen to this fucking thing, you know, mass bumping all that shit. You have to deal with low G pushover with the fucking semi articulated rotor system. Does anybody know about these fucking, these, these new European helicopters that are starting to be available over here and it has a fully articulated rotor system. So you don't have to deal with any of that shit and the fuel injected. So there's no, do I need to pull carb heat?

Am I going to fucking die here? Um, it's called, I don't know how to say it. G U I M B A L. Guy umbil. Cabri G two. And I wrote next to it. What's the deal? Um, I talked to two of my instructors, one of them said, Hey, that's pretty cool

that they do that. And the other one said, well, it's kind of like, remember when the first iPhone came out because they're brand new, then they had to work all the bugs out. He said, uh, they learned about aircraft through people crashing. So I was like, all right, fuck those things then. Um, anyways, you know, you don't always think I'm, I think one of these days what I'm going to do is I'm just going to buy a used Apache, you know, or whatever the fuck they have, those black hawks of some shit.

I'm just going to learn how to fly that. And then I'm just going to join those black water dudes. That's my apocalypse thing. You know what I mean? I'm not going to learn how to kill people or anything like that. I'll just be the shuttle guy. I'll take you back from the front lines back to base, base camp, and I'll just sit there eating my soup.

That's my game plan. Um, all right, let's read some of the fucking advertising here for this week, which of course I didn't even, did I even look this shit up yet? No, I didn't. Uh, I apologize for this. You know, I just, it's just Tiger Woods let me down, you know, I thought he was a family member and, uh, I mean, I haven't been this fucking, distraught since, uh, Michael Jordan's acceptance speech at the Hall of Fame.

When I found out who he really was, I mean, I was devastated. And I just remember all those times I had not hung out with Michael Jordan or ever talked to him and I just feel like he really just, you know, I just thought he was better than that. I love that when he gave that speech and everybody's just like, wait a minute, this guy's like fucking got ice water in his veins. And he's, he's got a mean streak in him. It's like, yeah.

Yeah. All those fucking people who were never picked in gym class. They were like, oh, this is why I sucked. It wasn't just that I was uncoordinated. I didn't have this killer fucking instinct. He went after his own goddamn kids. You know what? And that's what it takes.

All right. Me on the, oh, me on these, me on these. Michael Jordan's fucking long shorts. Me on these, me on these. They're that long because of his dork. He's fucking six six. So is his dick. But his balls were rough until he got me on these.

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You got a bunch of colorful underwear. Right. I'd see what's going on. You did a little algorithm. Well, more gay people than straights are buying these. You know, we, oh, maybe we got it. Maybe gay people buy the gay people gay guys. I bet gay guys buy more underwear.

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Blade gently glides, giving you a smooth shave. Dr. Carver shave butter is transparent for a more precise shave helps prevent ingrown hairs and fights razor bumps. Make the smarter choice by joining dollar shape club. Do you know that people at dollar shape club had a custom doctor cavies easy shave butter tube that they framed? Andrew finally was able to convince me to take the thing. He goes, they gave you something. I'm like, I don't want any more shit. I got too much shit.

And he goes, now you got to see this thing. And like fucking a year later, I finally got it from him. And I'm like, God, damn it. It's another thing I got to put up on the wall. And someday explained to people. Oh, I have mild dyslexia and I thought Dr. Carver shave butter said Dr. Carver is easy shave butter and I used to scream it. And it's like cheap bill. Do you have any more boring stories framed on your wall?

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That's dollar shape club.com slash burr. All right, 44 minutes in just like that. Okay. All right, let's read these fucking. Let's read these fucking questions here. All right, Europe. Hi. That's it.

I like it short and sweet. Been a huge fan of bill for many years. Are there any plans for a tour in Europe specifically the Netherlands would love to see him perform live? Well, I was there last year, man. If you were a fan for many years, you should have checked my website. I think I'm going to go to Europe next year. And I'll probably build it around a couple of F one races possibly. I don't know what when I'm going to go over there, but I'm definitely due to do a run.

I got a bunch of new shit, but you know, I have to make sure it's at a certain level before I go over there because Europe loves to just have critics show up at shows. Without, you know, the artist saying, Hey, can you review this show? You know, and they review it anyway, and they take out their fucking goddamn steak knives and they carve you up every fucking time. So I always make sure I'm on my game here. All right, girl who stabbed boyfriend isn't walking free. Okay, here we go. This is the new this is a new part of the podcast. Everybody fucking correct an old bill.

You know, that's why I made sure to fucking like look up all my my F one shit, you know, because you caught damn cunts. Girl who stabbed boyfriend. I have a prediction about the Red Sox too, by the way, which I will get to later on hopefully if I remember. All right, that's a teaser and I might let you down. I might disappoint you. Like Michael Jordan, like fucking Tiger Woods, you know, all that entertainment that they gave you when they watched. When you get to watch them doing things that have never been done before. All right, girl who stabbed boyfriend isn't walking free.

Okay, so this story was about some lady at Oxford to fucking. I don't know what the hell she did. She stabbed her boyfriend in the leg with a bread knife and blah, blah, blah, blah. And the thing guy was like, Well, I don't you have, you know, you have all this fucking, you know, potential and all this type of shit. So this person, this person is writing back saying she isn't going free. What's up? I realize you like to make the excuse that we shouldn't expect you to do any actual research on stories you talk about. And that's fine. Well, then you should leave it at that, sir.

But in this particular story, you ranted on Thursday's party. I didn't rant. I'm joking around. You fucking overreact and cunts. Do you guys understand what a rant is? Rant to me is short for ranting and raving. So you got a borderline have froth coming out of your fucking mouth, joking around about a subject for five minutes. It's not a fucking rant.

You stupid fuck. God damn it. All right. So even like right there. To me, that's just, I just fucking, fucking wigged out for a second there. But he ranted. Okay. On Thursday, you didn't even, you didn't even need to do research to see how wrong you were again.

I'm not wrong. I'm being funny. You fuck. That Oxford girl isn't getting off free because she's white. Oh my God. As the lovely Nia proposed and not because she's a woman as the fricken, beliterate birth suggested. She isn't getting off at all. In fact, it said right on the article, you were reading that she was going to be sentenced in September and has been giving a

restraining order. Yeah, I saw that. And I also read the fucking judges quote. I looked it up and I read along with your progress. Her sentencing was only postponed. She isn't getting out of jail time yet. Yeah, but don't you find it fucked up? What are you going to address the fact that the judge said you're so talented.

I don't want to derail your fucking what you could possibly achieve. You don't think that's weird for him to say that. And you don't think race and gender affects your sentencing. You don't think that you don't think that any day that there's all this racism. There's all this sexism and all that, but in the court of law, there isn't. There isn't status. There isn't. You're at Oxford versus you're just somebody on the street and you stab somebody with the fucking knife.

You don't think that any of that comes into play, sir. So anyways, he says, if you asked me what you didn't, I think this is a good thing. If she's as bright as the people at the school say she is, she can definitely do a lot of good in her career. And sentencing her for a one off would ruin that. So you're agreeing with this guy. Oh my God, this is fucking hilarious. You're sitting here saying that I'm not paid. That's basically what it is.

It's not that I was misinformed. Okay. It's that you agreed with the judge. He said that being said, she needs to be held responsible. So what is it? Seeing as if it was only a butter knife, I think mandatory anger management classes is in order at the very least. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Come back to Madison.

You were great last time. Go fuck yourself again. Sir, she stabbed somebody with a knife. Let me let that sink in. She stabbed someone with a fucking knife. But because she goes to Oxford and she could be a doctor, you're out of your fucking mind. You're just like the judge. You're like, oh, look at her.

She's a girl. She's doing so well in school. She looks like me. It was just a bread knife. You're doing what they're doing in a perfect world. Sir, stabbing somebody with a knife in the punishment is stabbing somebody with a knife in the punishment. And that's fucking it. Go watch that fucking trap car thing or whatever the fuck they call it.

Where they park it down in the fucking poor neighborhood and they arrest one black guy after a fucking another. I mean, they're not trying to help anybody. You don't think anybody down there has potential? You just going to say it's going to fucking do that to them? Why do they just do why? Why don't they do that in a fucking white neighborhood? Oh my God. I don't know.

I just don't see the world the way you do, sir. And you see it the way that judge does. And I also think that you are like what you're taking into consideration, which is the fact that she's at Oxford and she could be a doctor. You're completely and you're now downplaying that she stabbed someone. And yes, you are, sir. Yes, you are. Because you said she should take anger management classes at the very least. Look, you might call me fucking overly liberal, but if you stab someone, you should go to jail regardless of what your potential is.

Do you realize that this woman, if she becomes a surgeon, will have a knife in her hand every fucking day of her goddamn career just about and it won't be a fucking butter knife. Jesus fucking Christ. And when she goes to cut somebody open and then finds out that they have state insurance rather than private, what the fuck is she going to do then? Just because you go to Oxford doesn't mean you couldn't be a fucking lunatic. You know what I mean? And people in those schools commit murders and they do commit crimes, but they don't go to jail the way poorer people with more of a tan do. I don't know if you've noticed that. So for us to bring up the fact that she was a woman and that she was white was not we were not uninformed.

We're actually more than I actually, you know, I'm going to pat myself on the back. I'm more fucking enlightened than you are. Okay, because I'm not saying that because of who she is, she should get punished more. She should get the punishment. I think once you stab somebody, what the fuck you're doing in the rest of your life is out the goddamn window. And I know what you guys are going to say, well, they do that. They do that all the time. They fucking take into consideration if people have children and blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, I know they do. But the consideration is a lot smaller by the level of tan you have and whether you have a dick hanging between your legs and not. And that's the fucking truth. Go into a bar. A woman can slap a guy in the face, dump a drink over his fucking head. She's not getting kicked out. She's not. If she's if she's hot, she's a fucking wilder beast.

Yeah, they'll throw her out in the fucking dumpster. Come on, people. This isn't this isn't new information. All right, stop acting like good Lord. All right, why airlines lost their privilege? Hey, Bill, big fan. Love your podcast. You recently asked why airlines are not as prestigious as it was in the 70s as a pilot.

I have an answer for you. Oh, I love when the pilots write in. Sky pilot. Why isn't it still great in 1978? Huh? I'm Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter signed the airline declaration deregulation act. I'll leave it to a peanut farmer from Georgia to ruin the fucking prestige of airline travel.

Prior to this law, the government allowed equal usage of federal airways among all the airlines. All right, you already lost me. Sorry, the government allowed equal usage of federal airways among all airlines. So the only way for airlines to compete effectively was with good customer service. Okay, after the law went into effect, airlines were able to bid for exclusive usage of certain airways. Airways are basically the streets in the sky. So different. Okay.

Oh, I see. And everybody had their territory. So it was like, that's right. There was Eastern Airlines. They just flew there. Okay. All right. American and United flew cross country.

So it was like wrestling back in the day where everybody had their territories. And then rather than having one guy dominate the whole thing like Vince, it became a bidding war. Okay. After the law went into effect, airlines were able to bid exclusive usage of certain airways. So airways essentially gained monopolies on most of their routes with customers having little or no say in which airline to take. The airlines were able to get us by the balls. So now airlines business strategy has shifted from good customer service to monopolizing their airways and packing as many people as possible into their plane. Planes, hope this helps.

It started to what should I look up? I should look up the airline deregulation act now that all of a sudden in the era of fake news, I'm being suddenly being held accountable for what the fuck. I can't believe this. You guys are so disappointing me. Can somebody please write in and mock these fucking assholes? All right. Not saying that the pilot here. All right.

Airline deregulation act. Jimmy Carter and effects. Let's see what we got here. Oh my God. All right. Wiki, a law that changed the airline industry. That's the one that looks like, okay, this is the one I will read up on. Are you guys going to try to make me informed?

And then I'll, didn't you know what happens when you don't have to become you informed? You become an arrogant ass. You know, you start smoking a pipe. You fucking eyebrows are always trying to touch each other as you wrinkle up your forehead. No one wants to be around that. All right. A law that changed the airline industry beyond recognition 1978. All right.

Okay. Before deregulations, airlines competed on service alone as fares were regulated by the government. I didn't know that. I mean, granted, I was working with the government. I mean, granted, I was fucking 10 years old in 1978. Many remember this era fondly as the golden age of aviation when stewardesses as flight attendants were then known carved. I can shadow Brian on rolling silver carts and airlines put piano lounges and upper decks of their Boeing 747s. Passengers dressed up to board flights and flying was glamorous and exciting and mainly for the rich.

Ah, that's why the liberals deregulations resulted in the rise of a new kind of airline, the low cost carrier, LCC. At the time of deregulation, Southwest airline was a small regional airline prevented by CAB rules. I don't know what that is from flying outside of Texas. Today, Southwest is the largest domestic U.S. carrier in terms of passenger traffic, something no one could have foreseen in 1978. Yeah. And that's back when stewardesses were fucking hot. So now it's a bunch of animals. They pack us all in and then it's just like, yeah, all the hotties are like, well, fuck this.

I'm going to go sell jello shots at a goddamn one of those DJ shows. Beep, beep, beep, beep, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, right? Southwest is a success story, but deregulation allowed. Yeah, I hate flying Southwest. I fucking hate it. You know what? I hate how the stewardesses sit there making jokes and fucking around. It's like, dude, my life is in your hands here.

You're not making me more relaxed doing your fucking Dean Martin impression. But deregulation allowed airlines to innovate new business models. People, people express. I remember that member value jet. That one went down. People express may have come and gone. It may someday be revived, but it and others like it shook up the white glove world of the U.S. airline industry and. Democracy's travel.

Hope I said that right. We may peer through our rose colored glasses and yearn for the days of Chateau Brion and piano lounges, but ultimately companies like Southwest and newer ones like Spirit allowed more people to fly more often. Yeah. And now look at the result. You got people with no shoes on walking into the bathroom. Oh my God, it all fucking came full circle. Shit.

Do I like being informed deregulation left the international carriers like Pan Am and Braniff and to a lesser extent, TWA Transworld Airlines without robust domestic feeder networks. I don't know what that means and it allowed domestic carriers like Delta Airlines to apply for international routes. Pan Am and Braniff scrambled to create domestic networks, but ultimately were unsuccessful. Although it took until 2000 for TWA to be absorbed into American Airlines. In some argue that massive consolidation of the U.S. airline industry in the last decade, which has resulted in three large carriers for when Southwest is included is deregulation's final act. The network carriers that survived Delta United and American learned to be tough competitors and combined existing domestic

networks with the international networks acquired in large part by carriers like Pan Am that didn't make it. Get the fuck out of it. So now they have to drag people off flights barefooted lunatics. And then you got people fucking. You know, you ever see those people that just fly around the world all the time trying to get miles and shit just created all these bottom feeders. Wow. Do you think a VIP airline would would make it? I wonder.

You know, in this era of Donald Trump, if they just if they didn't even try. To be nice. Just be I wish I could do a Trump impression. Just be a lot of animals. If lying barefoot, not a bear. And then, you know, all the liberals would be like, yeah, were you saying that barefooted people shouldn't be allowed to let a bear feed, let a bear feed. Dude, can you what if want if they had a fucking you couldn't do it nowadays. If you had a fucking top line airline.

Okay. All first class seats. All hot stewardesses. You know, first of all, all the fucking, you know, all the fucking feminists would be up in arms. Would all be up in arms saying that they you're objectifying these women, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And at the end of the I don't know. I agree with some of that feminists shit, but a lot of times I just feel like it's women who aren't good looking, hating on good looking women and just being mad that good looking women don't have to work as hard. You know, it's like that whole thing that you're going to somehow get people to give not as good looking women, not as good looking men, not as strong men, like a chance that's not how it works.

You got to like, you got to look at it like sports and realize that you're not the Jordan. You're not Sydney Crosby. All right. You're on the fourth line. Okay. So what you have to be is you have to be a fucking you got to be a gamer. You know, this is coming from a bald redheaded male. So go fuck yourself if you think I'm being a leadest here.

Okay. You got to be scrappy. You got to go in the corners. All right. You got to drop the gloves every once in a while. You got to do that. Okay. You're not going to get the calls.

You're going to have to work 10 times fucking harder than other people to get, you know, half as much or however the expression goes, but it's going to make you stronger. You know, what's great is your fall from grace from your youth six as you slide into a four is not that bad. But at the end of everybody's life, everybody looks like a four or two. Okay. But you have a nice soft landing. You do a little bit of a belly flop. You get the wind knocked out of you between 20 and 60. All right.

These fucking 10s. I mean, they're falling off the top of a goddamn building. Okay. And a lot of them, they don't survive it. They don't. If you look at their Botox faces, they look like they landed face first. The fucking lips are all swollen. I mean, Jesus Christ, look at these fucking like, you know, watch this show and these women will not stop taking fat from the back of their arms and injected them in their ass.

And they got these stupid looking fucking asses now and their legs look like my legs with this weird, like they look like ostriches. I don't know why they did that. I just, I just don't fucking understand why. And I get what point it's like, they're literally like Michael Jackson, where Michael Jackson couldn't see what he's doing to his face. These women cannot see what they're doing to their asses. I don't understand it. So anyway, so you know what? That was actually fascinating.

And I make fun of the fact that I'm not a well read guy because it gives me license to be lazy. And that's what I like to do best. Okay. But if you fucking assholes are going to meet me, keep reading. I did. I did enjoy that. I do enjoy. I like drum shit.

I like aviation. I like that type of shit. All right. So if you're going to fucking really start holding my feet to the fire here, could you please try to keep it up? I don't know. Well, I guess I have the power, right? I have the power where I can actually decide what the fuck it is that I want to read or what I don't want to read. Speaking of which, for some reason, I woke up this morning thinking about Roy Haynes and the fact that he's still alive and still doing gigs and all the fucking people that he's played with.

Like I saw a bunch of great jazz dramas before they passed. I saw Max Roach. I saw Tony Williams. I saw Louis Belson. And I saw Roy Haynes. I saw Roy Haynes like 20 something years ago when he was in his 70s. He's now 92 and I looked it up like this guy's still on the road. He's got a road gig coming up in September.

It's like the blue note in New York City and he's from Roxbury, Massachusetts. Fellow Boston guy. I'm a suburb guy. He's actually in Boston, but I don't know. I think that's pretty fucking cool. The guy's still gigging out there. I mean, you talk about a guy he played with Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Sarah Vaughan, all the way up right up through like young people today. The guy's been playing drums professionally for 70 goddamn years.

So I don't know if you're into drums, you got to go see that guy. All right, let me go. Let me read some more of the. All right, let me read these last two cultural appropriation. Dear Billy rationale. Things are getting crazy these days because of technology. It's definitely a lot easier to be critical of what everyone does. I'm sure you've experienced this before where people try and misrepresent what you say for whatever self serving reason they may have.

Yes, of course, that would be the Huffington Post. One of the things going on today that really bugs me is the accusation of cultural appropriation. I hate picking extreme sides to any argument. So I will say, I do think that there are cases of cultural disrespect. Let's say someone wears a religious or cultural garb and is overly disrespectful for the purpose of trolling that could be that could be cultural appropriation. You put that in quotes, so do you not think it is? But almost everything anyone does is derived from another culture in some respect. There's a YouTube video where a young black college girl berates a hippie for his corn rolls.

And it seems a bit silly because the kid is just doing what every other wookies who listen to fish do. I don't know what a wookie is. Is that somebody into into Chewbacca? Now fuck now, but I got to look this up. What the fuck is a wookie? A white something. Wookie meaning slang. A wookie.

Urban dictionary. A wookie. A wookie is a hairy yet modernized human being that commonly is seen in the western, in the western most regions of Washington. A gentle creature by nature, but tends to get a little erratic when it overindulge itself with its favorite foods. Its diets consist mainly of a blend of barley and hops. If you see these creatures, be cautious as to whether you should provide him with these items. They will commonly respond to the name of Richard Pulliam, but be very wary of these creatures. I have no idea.

They're usually a certain brand of cookie that is very chewy. A wookie is a lifeless idiot whose whole existence consists of falling around jam bands. Here we go. And not showering or shaving. When they're not panhandling or trying to rip people off, they're selling veggie burritos or grilled cheese to fund their useless existence. They stand for nothing and care about nobody else. Not to be confused with a hippie. A hippie is someone who lives a certain lifestyle due to their belief.

Hifty's often shower and have jobs used in a sentence. Yo, those wookies over there are trying to sell beat rolls. That's from fucking 2003. So I guess they've been around for a while. Okay. All right. Let me get back to the, okay. So now I know what a wookie is.

I know what a wookie is and I know about airline deregulation. And now I'm going to be insufferable at the next fucking social event is I try to work both of those into the conversation. Where the fuck is it? I was an anthropology major, which doesn't make me an expert, but it definitely informs my opinion of this. I went to culinary school after college and learned even more about cultures through their food. I came up on this article and wanted to get your take on it. A couple of girls in Portland, Oregon started a food truck selling Mexican food. They traveled around and learned recipes the way every chef I've ever known has done.

They were accused of cultural appropriation because they're not Mexican. I'm not going to go on a tirade of motherfucker, mother fucks, but my adrenaline really starts going when I think about this. I haven't heard you speak about cultural appropriation yet and wanted to get your take. Here's a link. Oh, the Huffington Post. What a fucking surprise. Thanks for your podcast. You're a great dad and husband.

How do you know that you have no idea? I hate the fucking Huffington Post. They're always trying to stir up some shit. I hate all these organizations that try to act like they're news organization and you read two articles and you know who everybody on the website voted for, essentially. It's like back in the day, like it was supposed to be, I don't know. If you were a journalist, you were supposed to just sort of present what the fuck happened, not making up. If you say this, that's probably because you're doing that. That's like that whole fucking website.

And I shouldn't just single them out. There's a bunch of them out there. And but they're held in like this is steam. I just don't understand it. Anyways, cultural appropriation is. I don't fucking know. You know, look, if you have an appreciation for Mexican food, you still learn how to cook it. And then you sell it.

I think at that point, if you become successful, that's when people get annoyed by it. And college kids are really extreme in their thoughts as I do, you know, you're fucking breaking free of your parents, you know, and you got some anger issues probably towards your parents. So you're very, you're very open to radical fucking sort of ideas, you know, going all the way over here, all the way over there. It's a very dangerous time in your life because you make very extreme judgment, snap judgment calls with your young brain. As I did. And that can cause you to do stupid shit like join cults. Blow yourself up at a fucking concert, you know, for some stupid fucking cause. All the way to like, I don't know what.

Fucking without a condom. You know, you just pretty fucking wide thing. This is why I don't talk about shit like this. I don't know what a cultural appropriation is. I don't know what it is. All I know is that my culture is the matrix. So everybody's allowed, you know, I don't get upset when people get on airplanes, but hey, that's some white shit, you know. I would say that if they're two white girls being white and they're making great fucking Mexican food, good for them.

But if they're sitting there wearing a fucking sombrero and talking like speeding and zealous when they do it, yeah, then I would get upset. But you know, there's plenty of Asian infused this and French infused that and cultures to me and all of that shit to me, it's like, it's like the MMA. How was, how was like, how good were the martial arts when it was you were just one discipline? You know, everybody, I am a keto. I am fucking Taekwondo. I do karate. I fucking box or whatever. And then a guy Bruce Lee comes around.

He's like, I'll take a little of this. I'll take a little of that. Wasn't he doing that? You know, and then he was teaching it to fucking the round eye guys over here and everybody over in Asia is like, hey, hey, that's our shit. Don't be showing it to their shit. And now look at it. Now look how great the fucking fighters are. You know what I mean?

I would love to see Bruce Lee today if he, him back then, if he got into the fucking ring. You know what I mean? Did he ever have to deal with a double legged takedown? What would happen to him? Does he have a ground in pound defense ground? A pound didn't exist. Could that man fight on his back? That's how much it's progressed.

So I feel everything should get all fucking mixed up and then shit spins out of that. And you just like, uh, I think it's just when you start to act like you're the thing that you're doing. You know what I mean? Like, um, and people do, but the thing is, if you start getting into like, like whatever, Japanese cuisine. Okay. Oh, you get into anime, whatever. I'm watching this anime show. Like I just watch it and I appreciate it.

I don't start walking around with the rising sun fucking t-shirt and I get some swords, you know, crisscrossed on my walls. You know, start sitting on the floor in a pillow with a little short table. You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know. I don't know where you, uh, I think it's all how you do it. I mean, if I walk into an Asian person's house and they got a bunch of shit from Ikea, I don't go like, you know, you're appropriate in my culture. What's with that L shaped couch? But they're also not oppressing me.

And I'm not oppressing anybody, but overall the fucking, you know, long tide cunts up the top are. So that's what it really comes down to. It really, I think it really comes down to, uh, white people get held to that standard of, of, of cultural appropriation. Because, uh, you know, we can, the damage we can do and we can be really ignorant with it. And then other times people are just being Conti, like I'm not going to read this fucking article, but if it's just a couple of white chicks making Mexican food and they're crushing it, you know, and they're dressed like white chicks going like, oh my God, who wants a burrito? I don't think there's a problem with that if they're killing it.

Right. It's a fucking food truck. Fill your pie hole up and shit. I don't know. All right, girlfriend. Uh, hey man, what's up? Um, I just, we had a few questions. Sorry for the lack of punctuation.

Well, you use parentheses when you said that I flew this girl out all the way to Japan. You know something? Fuck you. I'm not reading this shit. You, uh, this, you know what, you rewrite this fucking thing. You rewrite this fucking thing. Okay. And then I'll read it.

Go fuck yourself. Sorry for the lack of punctuation. Yes. Sorry. I'm not fucking reading it. There you go. There's no punctuation. I hate when people fucking go.

Sorry. If you're sorry, you would have taken the time to put some shit in there. You didn't. You're not sorry. You're fucking lazy. So fuck off. Now I'm going to be lazy right back to you. I'm not reading you.

God damn shit. However, if you want to, uh, fix it, put some punctuation in it and I will read it. God damn it. I will read it. All right. The Red Sox. We're in second place and the evil empire Yankees are in first place. Those evil motherfuckers with all their homegrown talent.

And here we are. The young up starts with a $215 million team just doing anything we can to try to keep up with them. Um, I want to know, I want to fucking know cause I heard he lost a bunch of weight. I know he ended up getting fucking hurt again. I want to know when Pablo's coming back. I don't know why I just feel like he's going to have a great second half of the season. Pablo Sandoval and he's going to earn his goddamn money.

And I think the Red Sox are going to, they're going to catch fire here right before the all star break. And they, and it's going to be Yankees, Red Sox Yankees, Red Sox. It's going to be great again. It's going to be fucking hilarious cause now we're the fucking evil empire that could spend a $200 fucking million. Um, that's my prediction. It's going to go down to them and, um, ESPN will blow the Yankees because they have homegrown

talent and they will fucking trash the Red Sox for spending all this fucking money like they never trashed the Yankees when they did it back in the day. Cause that's how it works because when the Yankees, when the world series ESPN goes in all is right in the baseball universe. It's just like, Oh, so you guys are all Yankee fans there. Why does it make it right? I never understood that, that they play favorites like that, but I guess that's what they do. So you know what?

Fuck them. They do too. Have a great couple of days. I'll check it on you on Thursday. Be careful around those grills you fatties.