Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 5-7-18

Episode Date: May 7, 2018

Bill rambles about steak houses, the Bruins, and legal tender.

Hey what's going on, it's Bill Byrne, it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast from Monday May 7th, 2018. What's going on? How is ya? How's it going? How are you? Is your hockey team still alive in the NHL playoffs? Well you know what, congratulations, I hope you're happy. Because mine isn't. Mine is not. Mine is done for the goddamn season. Oh yeah, hit the printer while I'm doing the podcast. No fucking consideration for the high level of quality of a program that's going on in here. Why would you do that? You come in here and you apologize to the incredible intellect of my listeners. Oh my god, Nia, can we sit down and talk about how you cut up that steak last night? Oh, where you running? Where you

running to? Listen to this, you want to talk about one of the shadiest moods ever, moves ever. Come here, sit down, sit down gorgeous. We'll bring her in here. It'll take some of this sting out of what I'm going to say to you. So anyway, so we go out, you know, a friend of ours is in town and of course you want to meet our lovely, beautiful, absolutely charming, always in a great mood, gorgeous daughter, right? And we love showing her off. We love getting the compliments. Oh my god, I know, right? I did that, you know, I didn't. I took a half court shot and God did the rest. The Lord. Anyways, so we end up going out to a steakhouse, right? So Nia's like, I don't want a steak, but I'd like some steak. Are

you going to order a steak? And it's like, yes. When in Rome. Hi. Hi. Did you just say hi to me? You say hi to the listeners, cutie. So Nia's just like, are you going to get a steak? I don't want a whole steak. I wanted to get tuna tartare and I wanted a crab, the lump crab cake, which is what you ordered. Yes. And I wanted a little bit of steak because I want to do a little surf and turf. So what does old freckles do? What does old freckles do? He, he orders. Of course. What do you order? Oh, Billy's steak face. I ordered the bone and rib. How the hell did that happen? Sorry. What just happened there? Somehow I moved and the volume got turned down. Anyways, I'll have to edit that part out. So anyways,

old Billy's steak face. I order a bone and rib eye. So cutie pie here starts getting frustrated. I starts making noise and I, you know, I don't want to be that guy at the restaurant with the baby that's crying, especially in a steakhouse, a steakhouse. You have a lot of people there in their second marriages, people who, you know, didn't get married, guys who are paying for a house that they're no longer allowed to go into. You know, there's a lot of that going there. You know, a lot of child support being paid, you know, by some of these people who had to rebuild it again. So look at your belly hanging out. Look at your belly hanging out. What are you doing? So she was, my daughter was getting

frustrated. So I just started, I started, you know, walking her around the restaurant and everything like that. Being the amazing father that I am, right, running around, she's so short. I got to like, you know, bend at that angle that it's like killing my back, but I stuck it out. I did it for you. I did it for all those divorces in there, right? All those people playing child support, even though women that women are starting to pay child support too. You haven't seen that? You haven't read that in Cosmo? Cosmo. Yeah. Cosmo. Yeah. And they're complaining that, which I love. I love this whole equal pay because you wait in here. You wait till enough women have to start paying child support and

you watch those divorce laws change like that. So anyways, while I'm being the amazing father that I am, obviously this is my, uh, this is my version of the story. Uh, my steak arrives. So Nia goes to cut off her portion of the steak and basically what she does is she cuts the thing like length wise, right along like an inch away from the bone and she takes all the meat along the bone and then gives me the rest of it. And for those of you who aren't meat eaters, all you vegetarians out there, the most flavorful part of a bone in ribeye, is all along the bone and she took the best meat and I was so upset with her. I told her that she needed to go to ancestry.com cause that was some Northern white European shit. What you just

did there. Hi. Uh, yeah, I took the, yeah, I did. That's my favorite part is the bone. I, okay. All right guys, if you ever want to know, if you want to know what it's like to be a husband and a father, that's what it is. She makes the baby. She goes through all of that. She goes through nine months of hell, 10 months of hell. Actually there's the middle three that's like the summer vacation, but whatever we'll say 10 months of hell. And you know what, and then as a guy, you pay for it for the rest of the relationship. She gets it all back with little, little shady cuts of bone in ribeye. I couldn't believe that. Hi. Hi cutie. Look at the way she's smiling at you. She's in love with you.

Yeah. Well, you know what? And I'll be in love with her till the day she takes the, the good part of my Cheerios. All right. Hi. Hi. How are you cutie? All right. Daddy has to talk filthy so I can still buy you diapers. That's how it works. I'm sorry. I'm too far down this road to pretend that you have a respectable dad. All right. Lovely ladies. Well, I mean, I thought that you were going to try to defend your position and you didn't. You're like, yeah, I did. That's, that's what I did. I mean, that's, that's, that's really all there is to say. I did. I saw that and I was like, I want to meet along the phone. You're doing Donald Trump right now. That's how he got out of stuff. You've said all this horrible stuff about women.

And he was like, nah, I said that about Rosie O'Donnell. And they were like, no, you said that about other women. He was like, hey, you're probably right. It's like, all right. I thought that was going to be a big funny fight. And it was nothing. Ow, you're on my ankle. Okay. All right. Ladies. Bye bye. Can you say bye bye? Bye bye. All right. Oh, well, yeah, I'll see you later. I'll buy you a cheeseburger later. Oh, okay. You get my steak and I get a cheeseburger later. Let me guess, McDonald's? What do you guys want? What do you like, Betty? Like McDonald's or Burger King? I've always, I've always been a McDonald's

guy. I've always been McDonald's. And it's not like I'm out here looking for another advertiser. I'll tell you right now, I feel the best poison in fast food is McDonald's. This is how I would, I would rank. This is how I rank my fast food cheeseburgers, Nia. All right. As much as there's some great ones out there, like in and out, I have to go to McDonald's because the child sense memory, you know, that just takes me back to, you know, when my bicycle was orange, just like my hair that I used to have. And I had the white tape around the handlebars. I went to the, um, to see my trainer and when I got in there, oh yeah, did you take the best mat in the gym? Yes. And he was finishing up with another client and she had her daughter there

who was like four years old and she's so cute. So I said, Oh, you want to see pictures of my baby? And so I was showing her pictures of the baby. And then she saw a picture of you with the baby and she was, who's that? And I said, Oh, that's, um, her daddy. That's my husband. And she goes, Oh, okay. She was, why doesn't he have any hair? We said that the kid, the kid, the four-year-old. And I said, Well, you know, sometimes when people get older, you know, their hair starts to come out. And so he just decided to cut it off because he didn't want it just to be falling out. And I think it looks better this way. And she was like, Yeah, that's true. That was it. It was so cute. Why did I need to know that? That wasn't cute. I already feel bad enough about myself. Do you

know how many kids have looked at me and said you're ugly in my life? How many? At least six. No. I swear to God, even when I had hair. No. Yeah. Children and children are honest. I know what all you adults are doing. You'd just be a nice to me. Maybe you deserve that bone and rib eye and just give me the shit party. Yeah. Yeah. Ugly piece of shit. Get out of here. No, I didn't mean it like that. Yeah. Cute story, Nia. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. I'll leave. Yeah. Hey, Nia, I met this girl the other day and I showed her a picture of you and she was like, Hey, why is her butt so big? And I was like, Well, you know, your butt isn't big. All right. But now I'm going to fucking pay for, I think you're going to laugh at that. And I'm going to pay for that comment forever.

Yeah. Right. You can just, you can just eviscerate me. First of all, I didn't say anything. It was the child that said it. So I don't know why you're making up some scenario where someone's insulting like my looks. That's not a child. And for the record, my ass might be big, but it's like perfect. So it is. It's why I married you. It certainly wasn't, certainly wasn't the other end. That other end I have no problem with. It's your fucking yep that drives me up the wall. All right, whatever. Why, why, why do I try to make a point? Why do I try to get ahead? You know what I mean? It's just like, Bill, you're losing. Okay. You're at a casino and the house always wins and the house is your fucking wife. So just fucking cashing your chips

and go back to the goddamn room. Anyways, let's get back to the NHL playoff. Congratulations. To the fucking expansion Tampa Bay Lightning. I don't hate you guys because I love Steve Eisenman and I know he's in your front office. So I'm happy for him. All right. Okay. Having said that, you guys were the better team. No matter how bad the officiating was, it was bad for both sides. And no matter what, I think you guys still, you just were a better team. You just were a better team no matter what you were going to win. But I will say this, this officiating straight across the board in the NHL playoffs, not just arguing for my team has been really unprofessional, really unprofessional. There's always a couple of calls here or there, but like it's reminding me

of NBA officiating last decade. When I called it, I said it was fixed. I'm not saying it's fixed. This is coming off more like, I feel like it's like, did the real refs go on strike and these are like some fucking scab refs they pulled out of the fucking crowd. There was just a couple of like, look, you know, Marshawn took that guy's fucking knees out. They didn't make a call there, which I thought was bullshit. And you know, I know we were licking people's faces and there's no rule against that yet. I can guarantee you maybe now that the Bruins are knocked out, maybe they'll relax. But I mean, I thought if we advanced to the next round, they were going to make a quick rule that's going to be called the Marshawn rule. It's going to be no player shall kiss lick tongue

or in any manner use his facial orifice to with inappropriate contact. There's going to be there's going to be the Brad Marshawn rule. And someday, if I live long enough, I will see Brad when he's in his seventies on the NHL network laughing about it, talking about how that rule came about and why he was doing what he was doing. It's the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. And it was it was it was hilarious. When they went back to the studio, Jeremy Ronick was it was like it happened to him. He's like, I would have immediately gone to the showers. And I was thinking like, oh, that's great. You're all a fame player. Let's get you off the ice. I had a buddy of mine actually text me said not even Sean Avery licked another player. And I was like, yeah, well, he was too dumb to think

of it. And he goes, well, if he's that dumb, why is he married to a supermodel? And I said, all right, fair enough, you got me. Anyways, but just, you know, I mean, what the fuck, that guy in Tampa, like we really needed to win game four, so we could lose in six games. I mean, we're still going to lose the fucking Tampa get his hands off his stick. He hauls McAvoy down behind his own net, behind his own fucking net, no call. It was it was the most obvious, not only did the announcers when they went back to the fucking studio, even they were like, what the fuck, Tampa takes it, pass it over stamp coast, and they tie the fucking game up. And we instead of having a chance to even the series at two, two, we go down three, one. It was just stuff like that. I know it's funny as

Bartnick was in Tampa Bay, and he was listening to it on the radio and Esposito said that that looked like a dive, which is the funniest fucking thing ever. Esposito is still fucking pissed that he asked for like $3 more from the cheap ass Boston Bruins 45 years ago, and they shipped them to New York, our arch rival, other than the Canadians during that time. So he will never be in partial when it comes to us. But what the fuck kind of who the fuck is going to dive behind their own net with the puck behind your own fucking net when you're up by one and you have to win that playoff game? Are you going to go down three games to one? I don't know. He is Esposito. He is a Hall of Famer. But that did not look like a dive to me. And having said all this fucking sour

grape shit, I know Tampa still would have won. I know they probably would have won probably six games is what I think would have happened. They just had too much firepower. And I think by the time we decided to get physical in the series, it was too late. But that's what was missing in our game this year. I think against Toronto and against Tampa, which both of them I felt had more firepower than we did is when you're playing a team that has, you know, as faster than you and has more goal scores, you have to get physical with them. You can't just let them fucking skate around. And I think we just waited too long. But having said that, this rebuild is on an upswing. I mean, I thought that we were going to be bad for a good six, seven seasons. I didn't see the light

at the end of the tunnel. So I'm very happy that we want to playoff series advance to the second round. Definitely a very successful year. And we're going to have a new rule named after one of our players, the Marchand rule. Maybe it's a good thing that we lost in five. If there was any more games, he might have been the first guy to get a fucking me two case from another guy, right? Oh, no, no, wait, that one guy did the agent did with the other guy from the cop show. All right, I guess everything's been done. Is that what it is? Has everything been done in the whole time? This is what kills me is I'm watching the Bruins, you know, just fucking losing this series, licking people's faces and shit. And I missed every single second of the Celtic 76ers.

You know, I just I had to pick a road. I'm so busy. I got the kid and all that. And I only had time and I missed I guess one of the most epic Celtics games in recent memory, where they tied it up at the buzzer against the Sixers and then came back and won it over time. All I'm hearing is Rosier Tatum Brown, how much they're stepping up Al Horford, I guess was blocking shots like a maniac. And so now I got a I got I guess I have I have all the time in the world to watch the Celtics now. So that's what I kind of realized, you know, as much as I love the Celtics and everything, I really am a hockey guy, because I knew we were going to lose that series. And I still hung in there and watched it. Although I missed yesterday's game because I was at a kid birthday party.

An awesome kid birthday party. Like, you know, you know, when parents do a kid birthday party, right, you take notes. These people did a great. They didn't have it at their house. They had it at like a function room. There was an outdoor area. There was a little jumpy house. This guy did a bubble show. You know, he had a good set too, man. That's a tough crowd. You know, kids trying to keep them, you know, their attention, they had booze for the parents, they had great food, you know, and then over in the corner, they had this area where the kids, you know, one of those play pens that has like a zillion, you know, different multicolored balls and all that type. And it's just my kid was totally entertained the whole time. I don't think I saw any kid cry. And

just until the very end with the kids, you know, they need a nap. And they're just like, I don't want to do it anymore. But it was a great time. So somebody there asked me, he goes, you Bruins playing right now, I'm like, I'm afraid to look. So I was kind of looking down, looking at the scores. And then all my Boston friends were sending me texts going, what the fuck are we doing? These refs suck. The refs really did suck. You know, who knows, they probably still would have maybe tied it up and beat us in five. Who the fuck knows? But I'm just saying, you know, I just hate having that like, that goddamn feeling, you know, that's like that year, the Lakers beat us, you know, which sucks enough. But if the Lakers beat us, it's fine. I can live

with that. They're the fucking Lakers, you know what I mean? But, you know, you call like 30 something files on one team and, you know, in the teens on the other in a game seven, it's just inexcusable. Unless we were out there hacking people up and it just, I don't know, fucking drives me up the goddamn, those are the ones that stay with me. You know what I mean? I don't give a fuck if you just come in and kick our ass. But, you know, I, but I do take peace in the fact that Tampa Bay was definitely the better team. And I feel that the easily could have just beat us in six as much as I hate to admit that you motherfuckers. Anyways, plowing ahead, what's going to go on with the capitals are the capitals finally going

to get over the hump and slay the dragon and beat these goddamn penguins from Pittsburgh, or the Pittsburgh penguins going to continue their march to be the first team since the New York Islanders, as Steve Byrne reminded me yesterday, since the New York Islanders to win three in a row. It's been that long. The Islanders actually won four in a row from 80 to 84. And I remember them when they were on the cover the next year, Sports Illustrated, and they said the strive for five, just, you know, the rate, one of the rare times Sports Illustrated put a hockey player back then, you know, on the cover. And I think it was Mike Bossy, if I remember correctly. And yeah, that was the age of dynasties. When I grew up, when I think about it, from like,

you look at the 70s in hockey, Bruins won two, Flyers won two, and the Canadians won six. So you had three teams, basically won everything. And then the previous decade, it was, it was Canadians, Leafs, and then the Blackhawks won one. And then I think Canadians won five, and the Leafs won four, because I want to say the Leafs won, like, three in a row, and then one in 67. And the Blackhawks won in 61, and everything else was the Canadians, if I remember correctly. And then you went into the 80s, then the Islanders. So basically, after the, it went Bruins, Canadians, Bruins, Canadians, Flyers, Flyers, then Canadians, Canadians, Canadians, Canadians, then Islanders, Islanders, Islanders, Islanders,

Edmonton, Edmonton, Canadians, Edmonton, Edmonton, then Caldery beat the fucking Canadians. That's one of my favorite ones, Lanny McDonald, the ginger. And then Edmonton again in 90. And then 91, 92 was the penguins. And that was like, I mean, you're talking a, I mean, you could literally go back all the way to the 50s, because I know like the Red Wings won like back to back, and everything else was just, it was just fucking, basically pre-1967, if you had to guess who won the cup that year, either guess Canadians or Maple Leafs. But then all of a sudden, you know, they had the expansion six and 67, and then they added, you know, Edmonton Oilers and all those guys and like, I believe 78 or something like that. And then it was a 28 team

league. And it just took a little bit. Well, actually, the Islanders were an expansion team in the early 70s. Then they got Al Abba. They went on that run. But then after that, after the penguins went back to back, it's just basically every other year, it's like somebody else wins it other than the, when the Red Wings won two in a row. And I think the penguins right now, right? Isn't that how it goes? I don't fucking know. But anyways, which is why I hate to say this is a Celtics fan. I think the, the Lakers are, they, they're the most successful franchise in the modern era, because they were able to, during free agency, win championships at a clip that people won before, you know, back when it was like,

you know, if you were a Laker, you were a Laker, go fuck yourself. You're not going somewhere else unless the owner decides. I haven't said that, you know, the Lakers do have a championship that, you know, there was a mobbed up ref and fucked over the Sacramento Kings that year. I'm not saying the Kings would have won it, but the Lakers would not have gotten a banner that year. And then that other one with the fucking 30 something files, 30 something files in 48 minutes of the Celtics. I never forget Kobe. He goes, I don't know how we won that game. Well, fucking talk to the guys with the athletes, foot shirts. Anyways, sorry, I'm just in a fucking bad mood because my team lost. Anyways, plowing ahead here. Oh, Billy, no vice.

Trudging along into May, I want to go at least a week into May, because I was just trying to go, you know, the month of April, basically vice-less. And then I got into May, and then I'm just like, you know what, I'm looking good. I'm keeping the weight off. I got the big 50 next month. It would really be a shame if I got this close to my birthday, looking this good. And then I just, you know, I just fucking, you know, put on that booze 10 pounds. I don't want to do that. But so, I've been laying off laying off board his shit. Went to that party yesterday. There was booze there. Could have had one. Didn't do it. Went to the steakhouse. They had all the beautiful fucking bottles behind the bar. Didn't do it. Came home, trudge past my bar. They don't even say

hi anymore. Didn't do it. Went downstairs. Took out my phone, played solitaire on it. Fell asleep. The exciting life of sobriety. You know, as hard too as I watched the Kentucky Derby. I wouldn't want money because I always bet on that white haired guy's horse because he's just the man. He's the Bill Belichick of that shit. And the year I went, the only time I went was at Triple Crown winner and he owned it. I want money on that one. And I was thinking if I was there, I always, I always, the Michael McDonald guy of the horse racing owners. And I was just watching that event. And I was just, I was like, why am I not sitting here right now drinking some bourbon, smoking a cigar, right? Watching it through my front window with the volume turned up. Obviously,

you can't smoke a cigar in the house, but I didn't do it. I just sat there, you know, I bought one of those TRX bands. You know, I'm going to go on the internet still have my custom workout. You know, my shoulder feels really good. It's really strong. I still haven't done a pull-up in like two years. Oh, actually, no, I did and then re-injured it, you know, six months ago. So now I'm rehabbing it back. So now I'm trying to go nice and frigging slow. I got these bands now. I'm back into doing yoga. I'm not fucking drinking. I'm not smoking and I'm bored shitless. There, I said it. I'm fucking bored shitless. Like people who are sober, how the fuck? You know, you know what? I actually finally, I bought an external little CD player to plug in

so I could finally do my Rosetta Stone French. And I've been doing that. Then of course, you know, my wife helps me set the fucking thing up. And then I, you know, it's working. I'm having a great time. And then I go to use it again. And of course, it won't fucking work. It doesn't recognize anything. I don't know how to open it up. It's just a fucking pain in the ass. So hopefully at some point she'll take some time out of her day. But anyways, I'm going to polish up on that shit and try to do an hour or two every single day right up until I get over to France. I just want to get a little bit better with my shit. But you know, at some point I got, I got to, I got to learn, I got to become fluent in French

because I just think a fucking moron like me, knowing how to speak French is just something it's too funny to not do it. Right. Okay. I've actually ordered kids French books and I'm reading them to my daughter. Those are great because I'm thinking like, well, how did I learn how to read English and speak it? You know, I had those little books, Bing and Sandy, Sandy and Bing. You remember them? Did they still have those fucking books? They were like these dogs. That's what that is. Really is one of the most fascinating things ever is learning how to read. And you're a kid. So you don't really remember it. Like something like teaches you how to fucking read. All right, let me see. Sandy and Bing,

they were a dog and a cat. See, this, I mean, I'm going back 45 years. Sandy and Bing books. I swear to God, if I see these, this is going to freak me out to see these books. And of course, it's not coming up. Come on. You have the slowest goddamn internet ever. Oh, they don't even have them anymore. Oh, Stanley Bing, some guy Stanley Bing wrote a book, 100 bullshit jobs and how to get them. That is fucking hilarious. Why the hell would you do that? Why would you?

Oh my God, look at this book. The Bernstein Bears and the Mean Drunk. And there's a bear, I swear to God, wearing a wife beater, holding a bat and it looks like a bottle of Jack Daniels. This is why you got to love the internet. I'm looking up a kid's book. And I find 100 bullshit jobs and how to get them. And the Bernstein Bears, am I saying that right? And the Mean Drunk. Bingo, Crosby, Anna, some Bugs Bunny one. All right, sorry. What the fuck? You guys literally listened to me surf the goddamn internet. I've been doing a bunch of stand up and popping in a bunch of places out here, getting ready for the gigs I have coming up that I do not deserve to

be doing in Ireland and in London, Dublin and in London. So I'm going to make sure I'm beyond on my game when I do those things. I have a run of dates coming up in San Francisco, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. I'm going to be up there with Nate Craig, Milwaukee Bucks fan. I'm not going to rub it in unless he brings it up. And I'll be, I'll be up there all week. I'm going to find a studio space with a drum kit. I'm going to fucking practice that bullshit. I'll be doing my French and I'm not going to be drinking and I'm not going to be smoking cigars. Oh, boy. I don't know. There's no fucking way I'm going to do this. I guess this is why people who are, you know, somebody actually asked me the other

day if I wanted to go to a meeting, you know what I mean? And I was just like, dude, I can't sit there with all this fucking doughnuts and people smoking cigarettes. I'm just, you know what I mean? I'm just not, I'm not that, you know, like everything I ever fucking joined, I was like, I'm not this, I'm not this, I'm liking this, but I'm not quite this, even like playing drums as much as I love playing drums. I know I'm not a musician. Like when I go, you see, you know, when you really see somebody that has the fucking gift, you're like, that's what that is. I mean, I can try to do this and make a really difficult life for myself. It wasn't until I walked into a comedy club and open mic and I saw all those desperate lunatics and I'm like, yeah,

this is, this is me. I'm this, this is what I am. So I went to an AA meeting. I've gone to a couple of them. They were required by the fucking courts of Massachusetts. I was required to go to two of those and a mother against drinking and driving way back in the day when I got arrested for that shit back in the 80s, you know? And I remember sitting there listening to these fucking stories and I was just like, Jesus fucking Christ. These people would have like head wounds and wake up from head wounds or stumble out of jail barefoot and just stumble across the street directly over to a liquor store. I mean, that is a fucking alcoholic. You know, they need help to stop. I could stop on my own. Am I just justifying all of this? That's what everybody in the program

is gonna be. I can stop on my own and I just sit here and I'm just fucking bored out of my fucking mind. It doesn't make any sense. It's like I'm saying, that's like saying I'm never gonna have ice cream ever again. It's like ever. I could see not having it all the time. So you're not a fat fuck. I get that. So your teeth don't rot out of your fucking head. I was definitely drinking too much. But like, I'm never gonna have it again. I'm gonna go to the Kentucky Derby again someday. God fucking willing. I'm gonna go to the Kentucky Derby again and I'm gonna sit there stone sober. I mean, you're going to the track. I mean, right there, you're a degenerate. Why not give into it? I don't know. Who knows? But I will tell you, I do love it in the morning. When I wake up clear-headed

in the morning and my pasty stomach is nice and flat. I definitely, I definitely enjoy that, you know, makes me a better dad. I always make my daughter breakfast. That's my thing every morning, right? I go out and I get her. I open the door and she goes, hi. I'm like, hey, right? Excuse me, nice hug and a kiss. Then, you know, change her, put a pajama bottoms across her eyes. Where is she? Where is she? Plays that game, loves it. Still loving that game, right? And then I go upstairs. She's really easy. I cut up banana strawberries and blueberries. Then I make her a couple of eggs scrambled. It's funny. What I like to do is I like to have it all prepared before I bring her upstairs because if I do, you know, because if she's just sitting there,

she starts to get restless like, you know, where's the food? But if I have it all ready, the other day I had it all ready, you know, and I brought her up, but I put her in her little chair. I put her bib on and all that and I put the plate down already ready and everything made. And she just goes, wow. Now she goes, whoa. It was awesome. And she can feed herself. The only thing I got to watch out for is she, she wolves down food the way I do. So I just got to make sure I'm staying on her. So I make sure I cut up everything nice and small, spread out the eggs so they cool off. She doesn't burn them off. And then that's it. Give her a glass of water and it's all good. So anyways, you know, and I guess if I was hung

over that would probably be a bad thing. So then I think to myself, what if I just get shit-faced when I'm on the road? I'm only on the road like four days a month, that would be fine, right? What do you guys say about that? Well, what do you say? Oh, you guys and a and I don't drink on the plane. It's just after the shows. It's got to be a way to do it the way I used to be able to do it. You know, you know, you know what the really thing that that fucked me up was? I never used to have booze in the house. So that's the problem. So when I do start drinking again, because I am going to start drinking, what I'm going to do is I'm going to finish all the liquor in my house, which even if I drank at a degenerate level would probably take me a good six months.

So I don't know how I'm going to do it. Probably have some people over and help them kill some of these bottles, but I have such good booze. I just can't give it away to some bomb. You know what I mean? Like you ever give a Cuban cigar to some guy who occasionally smokes and you just watch him just huff the whole fucking thing down? You might as well give him a Dutch master. That's the kind of booze I have. So what I would like to do is slowly knock out all the booze over the next five years that I have in the house and not replace any of the bottles. And then, because I think even back in the day when I lived in New York, when I was living in New York and DeRosa was living in New York,

I mean, we used to just get fucking annihilated. But I never had any booze in the house. So in my apartment, I should say. So I think that's right there was the game changers. When I had it at home and then I had these nice fucking glasses, you know, when you really get into it like this is high level booze and these high level like, you know, the right glass and you get into the whole like ritual of it. And you really can trick yourself that you're not just being some degenerate drinking alone. You know what I mean? You know, this is a highball glass. And this is what you do for those of those glass here is for Sam Adams beer. I actually have the Sam Adams glasses. You know, with that little lip at the top, like it's supposed to make the head and the

hops and all of that taste, but it tastes the fucking same. You know what I mean? That's like when they do all these reissues of guitars. You know what I mean? I can't tell the difference the way I play guitar, which I barely do anymore. And you know, you could give me the greatest guitar in the world. I'm still going to sound like me, which is shitty. So anyways, I don't know who the fuck knows. But a buddy of mine's actually been listening to these tapes that, you know, talk about alcohol, not that stupid, you need to go to get help type away. But they just talk about they just put it in a different perspective. I don't know. I'm just like a streaky person. That's all it is. So like when I'm not

drinking, I don't want to drink because I don't want to ruin the streak. I'm like, God, man, I've gone like 35, 40 days here. I'm going to start all over again. Let me see if I can make it to 50. Because there's a big part of me that would like to plow right through my birthday and not drink. But then it's like I'm going to be in France. How the fuck do you not drink when you're over there? I'm not going to have a fucking glass of wine. Sit there like a fucking jerk off. I don't know. We'll see. Anyways, all right. Zip, recruit, zip. Talk about the challenge of finding great talent and how the way you went about it just did not

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Dude, you're not even in the wedding and you're going to wear a tuxedo to a wedding. That's fucking hilarious. You're going to outdress the groom. I like the way these people are thinking. The black tux has awesome suits and tuxedos and all kinds of styles and you rent them online. Oh, I get it. You're going to wear a suit. The black tux offers the kinds of suits and tuxedo styles that would normally be wildly expensive to buy. You might only wear it once, like the Emerald Shawl tuxedo. It's funky. It's cool. But how many times are you going to wear an Emerald Green tuxedo? With the black tux, you can do you and blow it out for your one big event. You're going to wear an Emerald Green tuxedo to somebody else's wedding. When you do that,

you do that when you used to be fucking the bride and she's doing that douche move of inviting an old boyfriend to the wedding. We're just friends. We're at a good place. By the way, as a man, you cannot allow that to happen. You cannot allow that to happen. I mean, I would actually question whether I would even marry the person if they're inviting an old boyfriend. With the black tux, free home try-on, you can see the fit and feel the quality of your suit months before your event. Well, you better make sure you eat well. If you're going to try it on that early. After ordering, your suit will arrive 14 days before your event. If anything's less than perfect, if you put on a few pounds, it took a few off, I guess the black tux will send you a replacement

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and printer. Stamps.com makes it easy. They'll send you a digital scale that automatically calculates the exact postage. Stamps.com will even help you decide the best class of mail based on your needs. No need to lease an expensive postage meter. And there are no long term commitments. I use stamps.com because, you know, whenever I send out my posters, which by the way, you got to see the poster for my tour coming up, which is simply called 50. All right, the big 50 people. And I am actually sending posters over to Dublin and over to London. That's the first place the poster, that's where the tour officially gets kicked off. And I actually am not going to be using stamps.com for that just because the company is going to be sending it out themselves. However,

when they send me the rest of the posters, and when I do Minnesota and all that, I will be using stamps.com. And I'm a moron, and if I can figure it out, so can you. And right now, you too can enjoy the stamps.com service with a special offer that includes a four week trial plus postage and a digital scale. Go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in Burr that stamps.com enter Burr. And by the way, in Dublin and in London, I will be coming out after the show to take pictures and sign your posts or something that I have not done in fucking years. I'm going to do that again, because I appreciate you guys coming out. It is a big birthday. Why not? You know, and God knows I'm not in the back drinking. Although I think once I get

through Dublin and once I get through London, I think, you know, that's would be June 6. I think that's the night I might actually have a little, a little something who knows, I don't know. But you know, I'm bringing my whole family over there. I can't be hung over. That's another reason why my daughter is the best, right? She keeps me sober. All right. Hang on one second. I have to look something up here because now we're going to get into the questions this week. And there's a point that somebody's bringing. It's a point that somebody's bringing up about guns. And they're doing it in the usual way that people do it on the internet where they insult the other person. And I just want to make sure I have the definition of something up here. Okay, bullshit AR 15 response

to goat guy. For those of you who don't listen all the time. You know, I, you know, there's a whole gun debate. Why do you need an AR 15? So I was asking people that have AR 15. I said, why do you have one? And don't give me that bullshit about fucking, you know, home defense and all of that crap. I mean, Jesus Christ, I mean, you could, I mean, you could literally have a 22. Who the fuck? Anybody want to get shot by a fucking 22? I would have a 22. I did a whole bit on that just because I don't want to fucking blow my eardrums out. I mean, a fucking BB gun. You know, with one of those little fucking CO2 cartridges, you shoot somebody in the fucking face with that thing. They're going to keep walking through that.

They can go down the street and just not have to worry about anything when they walk into that house. I don't know. Anyways, you know, or to fight off the government. That's my another famous one. That's not my other favorite one. You're going to fight off the government with your fucking semiotic mad at gun here. The whole government, you're going to fight them all off. I got a lot of bullets, motherfucker. All right. So anyway, so this guy ends up writing in saying that he was a sheep farmer or whatever goat farmer or something like that goat farmer. And he uses the milk to make Parmesan Reggiano and he also or some whatever the fuck you use like two different types of cheese. I forget what the other kind,

but both delicious types of cheese. And there's all these coyotes and they hunt in packs and he's shooting at a moving target and it just made fucking sense. So then somebody else wrote back, God, that's bullshit. Just get some fucking dogs. They'll fight off the coyotes, coyotes are cowards. This guy is full of shit. And to be randomly killing coyotes like that is, you know, mean and all that. So this guy is responding to the person that responded to the guy because I was impressed with that guy when he said that this is why I use it. I'll go, well, oh shit, that makes sense. And I like that cheese. So God bless you. Kill those coyotes, right? So anyways, this guy's responding to the person that said that that guy still didn't need the gun. He could just get a

couple of dogs. So anyways, he said, Hey, Bill, I'd like to say to the guy's response about just buy dogs instead of an AR 15 does not know what the fuck he's talking about. First of all, it's not a machine gun. You dumb cunt. It's semi automatic rifle, meaning you pull the trigger once and one bullet fires. Okay, now do you see how he just made his point? It's not a machine gun. You dumb cunt. It's a semi automatic rifle. You should say it's not a machine gun. It's semi automatic. And then you should explain what semi automatic means. Alright, semi automatic doesn't just mean that you just pull the trigger in one bullet fires because then literally a fucking 38 is semi automatic. Doesn't that mean like you can you can actually pull the trigger quickly faster

where it won't get jammed or something like that? I mean, there's something different between just a fucking revolver, a semi automatic and fully automatic. I don't know shit about guns, right? But isn't there? So I looked up semi automatic firearm. It says this without calling anybody a dumb cunt. He just not informed. There's a lot of information in the world. You can't have it all between your ears. A semi automatic firearm or a self loading firearm is one that not only fires a bullet each time the trigger is pulled, but also performs all steps necessary to prepare it to discharge again, assuming cartridges remain in the firearm feed device. Typically, this includes extracting and ejecting the spent cartridge case from the

firing chamber, re cocking the firing mechanism and loading a new cartridge into the fire firing chamber to fire again. The trigger is released to fire again. The trigger is released and repressed again. All right. So now let me ask you this. So is is a 38 because the revolver turns? Is that considered semi automatic? Now I'm just confused. Semi automatic. Let me look up. I mean, let me look this up is a revolver. You know, it's funny. People who are into gun right now, the amount of people that are listening to me like I'm a fucking moron, like this means that they're better at math. It's like, I don't own guns. I don't know anything about this shit. If you didn't know anything about drums, I wouldn't

make funny because you didn't know what a fucking hi hat was. This is a revolver semi automatic. Let's see here. And he hit search and it takes two hours. A revolver which uses multiple chambers and a single barrel and a derringer, which uses multiple chambers and multiple barrels also fire one round per trigger pull, but achieve this in different ways. And as such are not classified as being semi automatic. Semi automatic pistols. A semi automatic pistol is a type of pistol that is semi automatic. I swear to God, that's the first statement, meaning it uses the energy of the fired cartridge to cycle the action of the firearm and advance the next available cartridge into position.

So basically if I don't have some revolutionary war thing that it's just like I put a bullet in, shoot and then put another bullet in, or I don't have to do that cocking thing that you always see with the sniper rifles. All right. So this is sort of a basic gun that this is like a car with power windows and power brakes and power steering. Like most cars have that now. Is that basically what you're saying when you were calling this guy a dumb cunt? He's not a dumb cunt. I bet that that what it this guy, what if he's a veterinarian? That doesn't mean you're a dumb cunt. All right. You should have said you uninformed cunt. How about that? Can we meet in the middle there? You can still call him a cunt, but just use the correct adjective.

Anyways, just like most rifles and handguns these days. Oh, he actually explained it to me if I considered continued reading. Okay. First of all, it's not a machine gun, you dumb cunt. It's a semi automatic rifle, meaning you pull the trigger once and one bullet fires, just like most rifle and handguns these days. Right off the bat, you know, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about and probably never shot a gun in his life. Fair enough. That's all good. I usually wouldn't be this hostile, but hey, I had a few drinks and I'm passionate about this subject. All right, fair enough. Anyway, I believe his argument was to buy a fleet of dogs to protect your livestock. He didn't say a fleet.

He said, you know, I'll get like two or three. He said, get the fuck out of here. You know how expensive trained dogs are to protect your livestock? I'm, well, do you, or are you just drunk at a bar throwing this out? I mean, Christ, purebred German shepherds are eight to $900 around here. Now you're a moron. No one's getting a German shepherd department. You get like a fucking sheepdog or a Christ. One of my buddies has one of those dogs. They're smart as shit. I forget the name of the dog. You wouldn't get seen. And now you don't know about dogs. You dumb cunt, you uninformed cunt. God knows what a fucking fleet of dogs costs, not to mention the food and attention you have to give them. AR 15 prices are going down every day. And with ammo, well under

50 cents a round, you'd have to be a dumbass. Oh, Jesus, parentheses or a liberal, not to use this. All right. And right there, your whole argument is out the window. Anybody who classifies all conservatives or Republicans or all liberals or Democrats is morons right there. You know what I mean? That's kind of like what I was doing earlier when I was talking about how bad the officiating was against the Bruins. However, I did bring up that, you know, Marchand should have got a fucking misconduct for taking that guy's knees out. And I did say that it was straight across the board. It's been really fucking unprofessional. However, but if I were to just sit there and say all the bad calls went against us, I mean, I don't know, I would be, I mean, what kind of fucking

world kind of dumbass or a liberal? You get it? Because they're dumbasses. And I just made them out to all be Southerners. Like everybody down south is a dumbass, which is not true. Mark Twain, you know what I mean? That guy was so smart. He wrote all those books in Kentucky Fried Chicken and that guy dressed just like him. In conclusion, he said, in conclusion, as if he's, he's made this great argument. I think there is a huge lack of education on firearms in the US today. He actually wrote in the US today, he didn't capitalize the US. I would 100% agree with that. At the end of the day, the AR 15 is the most effective tool for a lot of jobs. PS, I saw you in Nashville, your final bit fucking killed love you and go

fuck yourself. Sincerely, your freedom loving fans in Nashville. Dude, you know something, I got to be honest with you. I agreed with your points. But when you said dumbass or liberal, and the fact that you said freedom loving, like who doesn't love to be free? You know what I mean? Are you another one of these people that thinks that ISIS is a major threat to a first world country with their no plane, no boat, no uniform, no real weaponry, modern weaponry, fucking army? You know what I mean? Do you think if ISIS was living in the badlands, we would even waste a fucking second of our goddamn tax dollars to try and stop them? There's plenty of fucking cunts out there. They're just not sitting on top of a bunch of fucking oil, freedom loving,

fucking, you know, something you really, you really lost me there. I mean, if you don't agree with me, I guess you just don't like freedom. Yeah, boy, what the amount of people that are drinking that fucking Kool-Aid 15 years into this fucking thing. It's a liberation. They have weapons of mass destruction. They've changed it like 90 fucking times. And I'm so sick of the fact that you can't criticize what the fuck those fucking broke ass cons over there are going to bankrupt us. How long can you spend $700 billion a fucking year? At some point, we're going to have to pay for that. I'm going to have to pay for it. You're going to pay for it. Our kids, their kids and all of that. Jesus fucking Christ over a bunch of

jerk offs with a bag of M 80s. It's unfucking believable. It's unbelievable. You know why we're over there. Saddam knew why we went over there. He lit it on fire before we got there, but you can't say that anymore in this country. Cause if you do, that means you're an ISIS or you're a socialist or some shit like that. It's just fucking, it's unbelievable. It's unfucking believable. Meanwhile, this place is going to hell in a hand basket with a nationwide heroin epidemic. Our food supply is fucking poison and the bankers got the houses back so they can cook the economy again. All of that is fine. All of that is fine. But if you tell jokes at a fucking presidential, whatever the fuck that is, the whole goddamn world stops. All right, this girl,

ah, Billy Blowfish. Love you. Billy Blowfish. I like that. Love your podcast. I've been listening to it every time I'm in the car driving to and from work. Definitely makes my commute better. Listen, I'm a 22 year old guy and I've been talking to this girl who has a kid. Now I know what you're thinking. What the fuck is going through your stupid fucking head? But the problem is, is I think I really like this girl. I don't think that's a problem. As long as you're willing to take on the responsibilities of that relationship, there's nothing wrong with it. And one thing I forgot to mention, I haven't even met her in person yet. Okay, I just, I just dropped the microphone on that one. I'm supposed to meet her,

I'm supposed to meet up with her. Oh, okay. I just thought you were stalking her on social media. I'm supposed to meet her. I'm supposed to go meet her up this Saturday. Is that a new expression? I think you said, I think you meant to say meet up with her this Saturday night, after work, and I'm not sure what will happen. The thing is, she's exactly like me. She's vegetarian, she likes animals and nature, et cetera, et cetera. What's the Nashville guy doing right now? Yeah, she likes all that, but doesn't like freedom. But she has a fucking kid, Bill. I'm fucking 22 years old and can't stop thinking about this girl who has a fucking kid. Please give me some advice. I'm not sure how to proceed.

Well, I think you're very concerned with the responsibilities of the fact that she has a kid and what that's going to mean, and you're only 22 years old. And there's fucking nothing wrong with that. Okay. And don't let all these fucking, don't ask a woman about this, because she's just going to stick up for the fucking woman, because she's going to insert herself into that situation would be like, well, I'd still like to be able to find love just because I have a kid. Dude, you're 22 years old. You are a kid. All right. Unless you're like really mature or something like that, that that is a major detail that you should be thinking about. All right. So I would respect the fact that there's a voice in your head that's saying, dude, she's got a fucking

kid. All right. Before, you know, because I'm gonna tell you right now, dude, like what you're getting involved in there, you know, if that goes south, you're going to break two hearts. Okay, because there's two people that are going to fall in love with you in that thing. So make sure you're you're prepared and you don't waste her time and that poor kid's time. All right. So there you go. That's my advice to you. This isn't, you know, oh, look at the tits. I want to fuck her. This is not that situation. You know, all right, advice. Dick the douchebag friend, dear Billy angel tits. I don't know what that means, but anytime anybody calls me an angel, I take that as a compliment. I guess because there is white as an angel's gown. Maybe it's an insult.

I don't know. Billy red tits, Billy devil tits. You can go either way on that. Love the podcast. Ah, thank you. Since you're always offering great wisdom and words to live by, I'm really not. I'm a fucking moron and you guys listen to me for some reason. Maybe you could help me out with this one for the sake of anonymity. Hope I said that right. Let's call this douchebag friend of mine, Dick. Dick is the kind of person that can get annoying and touchy towards women when he's drunk to the point where it starts to border on harassment. It's always weird. It always weirds me to fuck out and I don't know how to address this behavior. Simple. Be like, Hey, Dick, will you fucking knock it off? What's wrong with you? Keep your hands to yourself.

He goes a few weeks ago. We met this 18 year old girl at a bar. What the fuck she doing at a bar, which we had a great time with. We all went to Dick's house afterwards for a couple more dicks. Drinks. Sorry. And Dick tried to make some moves on this girl. He couldn't get into her pants that night. However, however, last Friday he did. Now, this is where it gets crazy. The next day, he took the girl to a yearly festival to celebrate Liberation Day, where he and I and a whole bunch of friends had planned to meet up. This is obviously from another country. I don't know, Liberation Day. She basically only knew me and him about 15 minutes into meeting each other there. The girl started puking up foam. As it turns out, she hadn't eaten all day and it popped a pill of ecstasy,

which he had given to her. Oh my God. He didn't seem to care what was happening. So I decided to take her to the bathroom area to clean her up and I brought her some water and then we went back to look for Dick. Well, why would you take her back to him? We finally found him. Let me guess, he was trying to hook up with somebody else. I told Dick like, dude, she hasn't eaten all day, man. She was puking back there and you should get her son to eat. And what did this motherfucker do? He quickly walked away and left me to deal with this 18 year old chick for the rest of the entire day. We didn't see him again for the rest of the day and we made no effort in trying to find us. What a dick. Being the gentleman that I am, I decided to stay with her

to guide her through this ecstasy trip. I gave her some food and tried to have fun. And even though we did have fun, it had already ruined that day for me. He tried to contact me today, but I'm really questioning whether he even deserves a response. What do you think, Bill? Should I give this dick another chance? Or is this the kind of person you want to cut out of your life? Complete me. Thanks. This is a no brainer. I pick up the phone and I would just tell him like, dude, you are a fucking piece of shit and your behavior around women is completely unacceptable to the point I would warn other women to stay away from you. And I don't want to be a friend with a person like you. Have a nice life and God bless the United States

of America. And that's it. That's an easy one. I don't even have to think about that one. All right. Fuck banks. Bill, I'm writing to you because I believe you are the only man crazy and angry enough to relate with me on this. Dude, fuck banks. Fuck them all. This month, I just found out I owe my bank $45. Apparently fitness connection attempted to withdraw $10 from my account these past two months, once a month at about $5 in my bank two months ago. This could not cover the $10 fee a month for my gym membership twice. So now I'm being charged a fee of $40 or $5. Even though one, it's debit to fitness didn't actually withdraw the money. They only attempted to nothing went through. So not only do I owe my bank $45, but I also owe

fitness connection about 50 and late fees and the $2, $2, $10 fees that never got paid. Please explain to me why I'm being charged for this transaction that didn't go through. Is there a guy working in the dark room at the bank pushing buttons who they have to pay for the transaction services? No. It's all fucking ones and zeros, all computers, yet another fee that we as consumers accept for no reason at all, even if it makes no sense. The idea of letting an entity such as a bank hold your money seems to carry way more cons than it does perks. Taking your advice that I'm going to call and complain until I get what I want. Fuck banks forever. Now all my money lives in the walls. If the house burns down, then so be it. But at least I didn't get fucked by the

man. Keep the good work and good luck to your Celtics. Jason Tatum is looking like a baller. All right. I agree with a lot of things you're saying there, but what you didn't take responsibility for was your own actions that led to this. All right. If you know that you owe your gym $10 a month, you're going to have to fucking have that in your bank account. You didn't have that. So then, um, I don't know how it works. I know if you write a check, the in it bounces, there's a fee. So you're saying this is debit, but you're using your debit like paying cash and everything. So I actually don't think banks are out of line for doing that. What I think is you need to be more responsible with your money. And like, I agree with you, banks are fucking evil.

It's a giant Ponzi scheme. Um, there's nothing behind the fucking money, but everybody believes in it. So hey, we live another day. All right. Um, but the thing about it is, is you have to learn to make money work for you. And if you don't understand money, the wonderful thing about the internet is if you stop, you know, reading people screaming about politics or watching online porn and all of that shit, which I've been guilty of all of that stuff. There's actually a lot of things that you can learn. And, um, what I've learned about money is that money can set you free or it can imprison you. And it all depends on the choices that you're making. And the choices that you're making, sir, are horrific. And back in the day would have landed you and all of your

family into debtor's prison. So you got off easy in the modern world. Um, uh, you know, I guess taking your money out of the banks, you know, putting it in your walls. I, you know, I, I don't disagree with that past a certain amount of fucking money, but I, I like to invest in things that are intangible. I'm into real estate. I'm into buying apartment buildings and shit like that. You always have to hedge your bets. Like I'm buying apartment buildings, just starting to do that. And I was like, I bought a bunch of looking at one, right? Cause it fascinates me to have income coming into my house every month. That's not actually in the business that I'm in. And the business that I'm in now, considering now with

social media, somebody can just say you did something and there's no, um, what do you call there's no due process or anything. And that could literally cause everybody in the business you're in to just walk away from you. And then, then what do you do? You know, so, uh, and that's just a new pitfall in this fucked up business that I'm in, which, you know, even before all that me too, shit, I mean, you see these movie stars one hit after another, one after another, and all of a sudden they have a couple of flops in a row and then they just disappear. So this business has always been fickle as hell. So I planned on doing this anyways, but after all of that stuff came out and like, you know, just recently looking at Tom Brokaw

stuff, I don't know if he's guilty or innocent, but the fact that two people can just accuse him. And which is totally there, right? But the amount of people that just on the accusations, now just look at that guy like he's a complete piece of shit is, uh, isn't right. Isn't, isn't any more right than if he actually did what they said they were doing, and then he's actually guilty of it. But to just, you know, an accusation is just an accusation, but the amount of people that then take that as, you know, game set match is, um, I mean, it's just how the world works. It's just how it works. So, um, you need to learn about money. You can't just say fuck banks and then just be anti-social and have

your like money in the walls. I mean, you can use banks as long as you know what, what, what the game is, you can use it in your favor. And, um, and if you just resist the stupidity of consumption in flat screen TVs and all of this shit that these stupid fucking celebrities show you when they go into their houses and oh, I had this stupid thing, oh, what they're showing you is a fucking, the only thing that's impressive is the house. Everything else is a, is a, is a liability. It's all depreciating assets. They're fucking cars, all of that shit. You know what I mean? Those stupid super cars that those fucking idiots buy that, you know, the only place you really should be taken it is to a track. So you can actually, you

know, open the thing up and then all of those cars, like, you know, you look at those Ford GTs, I saw one the other day for sale and it was like fucking 10, 15 years old and it was high miles. It had 6,000 miles on it. Now it retained most of its value, but it's just, I don't know, I guess unless you're going to buy those things, but all of those flat screen TVs, the monogram fucking stupid shit, the oil painting yourself, it's just a bunch, it's a bunch of shit. It's fucking stupid. The pots and pans that you buy that rather than just buying the ones that target, you go out and you got to go to fucking foofy foofs fucking place and buy these gourmet level fucking pots and pans to heat up your fish sticks. Cause at the end of the day, you're still

that blue collar jerk off. It's all a fucking waste of money and it's just a bunch of shit. Now, if you actually take your money, right, you know, and, and learn how to invest it and then your money starts making money, that's when you flip it. When your money is earning you fucking money, when you're fucking sitting on a couch watching a game and your money is out there making you fucking money, then you understand it. And I mean, I don't even understand it. Okay, but I'm just starting to learn how to do it. And the, the, I don't know, they just, it's nowhere in the educational system. You have to seek out that knowledge yourself. Like most quality knowledge that's out there, you have to seek it out because people aren't going to give it to you.

So that's what I would say. So I feel few that you're in that position. I've been in that position, but I wouldn't say fuck banks use banks rather than have banks use you. All right, there you go. It's a long explanation, but an important subject. All right, my sister's deadbeat boyfriend. Dear Tara Billy. I don't even know what that means. I'm a, I'm a junior in high school and I live with my mother, sister, and a deadbeat boyfriend. Wow. He moved in with intentions to pay rent and help fix up our house that is slowly falling apart. Is this Dwight Yocum from fucking slingblade? But for the past year, this loser's had no job and has paid no rent. Yeah. Yeah. He's a gold diggin whore. Uh, all he does is sleep all day and play Xbox. He also mentally manipulates my sister by

telling her things like her family doesn't care enough about her to give her a funeral. Oh my God, you got to get this guy out of the house. While he gets high and drunk and totes his guns around, my mom has on multiple occasions threatened to kick him out because but she won't in fear that my sister will go with him. What in the fuck is, I don't even understand how a parent loses this level of control in their own house. So Bill, what do you think I should do about this situation? Thank you for being so damn thank you. All right. Looking forward to family season three. What do you think I should do? You got to sit down and talk to your mom and you just say, mom, I know this is a difficult

situation, but you got to kick this guy out of the house. He's drunk and he's walking around with guns. You got to choose your family first. And if our sister chooses him over us, then so be it. I mean, that's it, dude. You got to get that guy out of the fucking house. Fuck that loser. That's it. These are all cotton dries this week. Dump that fucking douche that banded that chick after he gave her the X to see learn, you know, learn how to fucking use money correctly and get this fucking guy out of the house. Jesus Christ. I feel like I'm cheating on a test here. These are easy this week. Sit down with your mom and just say, we got to kick this guy out. And this is what I would do. I would, if you need to, I would call the cops

before you kick him out. If you think he's going to be a problem, I would have the cops come down there and say, I don't want this guy in my house anymore. He does have firearms and I want him out of the house. What a fucking loser. All right, dumped because of infidelity 20 years ago. Big Billy bald balls, massive fan of the podcast and your specials have had me in stitches. Oh, thank you. I really need your opinions, opinions last advice on a situation with recent issues. I've just broken up with an amazing lady, the woman I was going to propose to this month. We had been together eight months, but when you get to your late 30s, you can cut through the bullshit pretty quickly and get to a meaningful relationship. I knew she was the one I wanted

to spend the rest of my life with our relationship had been great. No arguments, lots of fun, laughter and love. Only one issue existed between us. And it seems to have caused the end of the relationship. Not long after we started dating, we were out having drinks and we were talking lightly about past relationship. And she asked if I had ever been unfaithful. I wanted to be honest and said yes. She asked to know more and I subscribed to time when I was 20. And I had been an idiot and cheated on my girlfriend at the time. I stressed that I regretted it and have never entertained the thought of doing that again. I'm simply not the same guy. She reacted very badly, leaving the pub crying outside before coming back in and telling me she wished I'd

lied. We managed to get past it though that night. Dude, you were 20. Relationship went on as normal. We shared many weekends and holidays, fun nights out, cozy nights in, talked about a future together and I was invited to share Christmas and New Year's with her entire family. It was great. Even as recently as last week, she was redesigning my garden for use in the summer. It has had two more times since then, once on my birthday in January, when we nearly broke up over it and she was struggling with it again. She was so upset, kept saying, why couldn't you have just lied? But we talked through and moved on again, or so I thought. And then of course, recently, when it all ended, every time it has come up, I've been honest and shown true remorse

and been very supportive. Very recently, we broke up because she just can't get past my past and said it's the only thing stopping her from committing to me fully. She loves me, wanted to be talking about having children with me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I don't need to read lessons. Every way you look, all you hear is the once a cheater, always a cheater lines, which in my case simply was not true. I know that some of this stems from one of her past relationships which ended in 2016 when she was engaged and the guy broke it off and ran off with one of her friends. I don't want to lose this lady, only back on Valentine's Day, she made me back on Valentine's Day, she made me a president of 100 reasons why she loves me. One of them was

that she thinks about the future, she only saw it with me and then I made her feel like no one else has, this can surely be saved but I don't understand it and I don't know what to do. Thanks Bill, go fuck yourself. Well, I mean, what the fuck can you do? I mean, if she's going to judge you by what you did when you were 20 years old, I just laid on tables and said, listen, I want to marry you, all right? There's nothing I can do to make, you know, I'm paying for the sins of that last guy and if you want to throw this relationship away because of that last guy, that's on you. Dude, you've done all you can do here. You've done all you can do here. So she's obviously not over that other guy or the pain of that other guy and now you're paying for it.

I don't know, so I mean, what the fuck can you do? I would just tell her how I feel about her and just say, listen, I'm ready to get married anytime you want to. But if you don't, then you've got to let me go and I got to move on. I got to get, you know, because I'm in my late 30s and if you don't trust me enough that I'm not going to fuck around on you, then I, you know, I don't want to tell you. Then I guess it is over, but it's going to be your call. It's not my call. Something like that. I don't know, that's a tough one, buddy. All right, the last one, last one, Jesus is a long podcast. Did I blow my chances with this girl from work? Hello, Bill Nye, the angry guy. I'll keep this as short as I can. Who just opened that door? Hey, buddy. Hey, what's up, cutie pie?

I guess I'm watching you right now. Hi. What's going on? Don't pull the cord. Don't pull the cord. All right. Nia, help me out with this one. This guy's asking that I blow my chances with this girl from work. Hello, Bill Nye, the angry guy. I'll keep this short as I can. I work with this girl that is a solid 10. She's absolutely gorgeous and her personality matches mine in a hundred different ways. And she's a nerdy chick, which is a massive plus. If you saw her, you'd say, holy s, why does she work in a place like this? Can't curse my kids here. Quick and simple. I got to know her. We constantly flirted back, back and forward, not back and forth Nia. They flirted back and forward. She put a lot of attention on me,

not to sound egotistical, but I'm a good looking. I thought he said 62 year old guy, six foot two guy. My issue is that when I get too comfortable, I begin to spill my red flags and I start to describe my self confidence issues. I guess I do this to see if she's okay with them. Bad move. Yes, it is. After working with her for nearly a year and a half now, she seems distant. Yeah, you probably waited too long. We used to watch the same shows, not physically together, but then come to work the next day and have long conversations about how awesome they were. She used to make efforts to initiate conversation. Now she barely acknowledges me anymore. It was really sudden. Well, she probably met someone. I'm not trying to be a dick here. I've

tried a lot to strike up conversation, but she acts disinterested. I started trying to make her jealous, but she doesn't seem to give an F. We work in a almost exclusive male workplace. So, of course, everyone is trying to get with her. It burns my blood to watch it, but it's my fault. Is there anything I can do to reverse my situation or if I seal this case shut? Thanks for reading. Please come to, I'm not going to say the city in case she's listening. Yeah, I think you blew it with her. Your work girlfriend broke up with you. Yeah, I think what you need to do is move on and stop talking about your confidence issues. You need to get some confidence and you need to get outside the workplace and you need to start hitting

on some women and you need to go on dates and then you're going to feel more confident about yourself and that's the best way to try to make this woman more interested in you. All right. Don't ask where you eat anyway, right? Don't ask where you eat. Yeah, yeah, because, yeah, exactly, exactly. Well, this guy doesn't have confidence, so he's not going to walk up to a woman that he doesn't really know. He needs to get over that hump, which is why it worked because there's a reason they're supposed to be there. He feels more comfortable and he, you know, she was probably waiting for him to ask around and then he didn't and then it sounds like she's with somebody else. Yeah, or she's just over his just over it,

you know, they had a little fun, like I said, work boyfriend, girlfriend relationship and now she's moved on. There you go. Yeah. So yeah, do plenty of fishing to see, you know, and don't waste your time getting jealous with this person. Just like you go in there, you don't, you don't care. Hi. Hi. Yeah, what's up, smiley? Hi. You know, it's funny now, she speaks gibberish, but she knows exactly what she's saying and then she'll just throw in a random real world. She'd be like, hi. Huh? Yeah, you want to tell some stories? All right, that's the podcast for this week. Go, you know what yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday.

Bye. Yeah, congratulations to the Tampa Bay Lightning. You bunch of bees. All right, I'll talk to you later.