Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 6-15-20

Episode Date: June 15, 2020

Bill rambles about snitches, celebrity videos, and Wu-Tang Clan.

hey what's going on it's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday June 15 2020 what's going on how are you how's it going ah this stupid fucking thing beeping I don't know how to shut it off you know when I when I smashed my fucking cell phone between my car door and I had sweatpants with shallow pockets shallow like me right I fell out and I closed the door on it so the cell phone I keep hitting you I keep hitting fucking you sorry this fucking thing so I had to set it up on my fucking goddamn computer and I can't get it to stop now I'm literally like force let's see force

quit force quit messenger messages force quit forcing quitting all right there so I did that now I'm gonna turn the volume back on and you watch this thing it's still gonna fucking beep anyway continuing continuing is a pop fly to third base there you go Billy Cox about fucking time I'm literally watching the 1952 World Series Brooklyn Dodgers first to New York Yankees knowing knowing full well that the New York Yankees win even if I didn't it says World Series game seven Yankees win fourth straight title October 7th 1952 in the bottom of the screen why would you do that MLB network you know I had the option of

not looking it up I mean I knew that they were gonna win it because I knew Brooklyn didn't win till 1955 I mean I'm enough of a sports geek to know that the Brooklyn Dodgers were known as the Bums because they would always fucking lose the World Series in fact they lost four World Series in seven years all to the New York Yankees I believe well I looked that up didn't I had that somewhere here yes they lost it is a nice play at first to get Mickey Mantle Mickey Mantle 20 years old at this point just taken over for Joe D and they called them it Mel Allen's doing the game and he's the guy comes up to the

plate batting left-handed hits a home run two innings later comes up hits a base hit to drive in a run and they keep called a magnificent Mickey the 20 year old nobody knew nobody knew what this kid was gonna be so anyway they lost to the Yankees in 1947 in seven games they lost in five games in 49 they lost in seven games in 52 and they lost in six games in 53 and at that point people were like well they're never gonna fucking beat him and then in 1955 Giants won a 54 beat the Cleveland Indians and in 54 they beat them they beat the Yankees in in seven games unbelievable so Brooklyn got their championship and then unfortunately the

Dodgers left I think in 57 or 58 59 the Los Angeles Dodgers won the World Series and in 63 and in 65 and all those titles would have been in Brooklyn that would have been so cool if they still had the three teams there we had the Brooklyn Dodgers the New York Giants playing in the polo grounds behind look at it still fucking beats what do I have to do I hit force fucking quit dude I don't know what I'm beside myself I just hit force fucking quit I can't force quit out of messenger now it doesn't even show up I'm taking this I'm taking this fucking app and I'm dragging it over to the fucking trash once I get all

my numbers back that's what the fuck I'm gonna do I got most of my numbers back but we what I'm doing is I'm putting in them into my computer as I get them that that that that that's what I'm doing so anyway I'm watching this game seven 1952 World Series okay the Red Sox have broken the curse you know we want what we want we want one two three four we want four right buried the curse we're back right we're doing what we do every century we went five in the early part we're in four or five early and then we then we take it easy take it easy you know you know it'd be funny because a lot of people this wouldn't be funny as a

Red Sox fan but I won't be it I won't be around to see it for the rest of the century although I plan on making the 70s again I'll be a hundred and one years old in 2070 anyway one of the major reasons they tried to say that the Red Sox didn't went they had all these fucking things they were cursed all that stupid fucking shit and then there was the real reasons okay the ballpark the way the ballpark was built and how we would always try to oh my god if we get a power hitter fucking right-handed hitter he's gonna hit 90 home runs never happened they just fucking pitched them low and inside he grounded to a double

play every fucking time to end the inning and but the major reason why was aside from back we just weren't a good organization in the Yankees were a phenomenal organization was we also were the last team to integrate so what I'm thinking would be wild can you imagine if that repeated itself this century with the Red Sox won four or five before 1920 we won five last century this year this century we've won four now what if robots get so lifelike and then they have rights you know and they're protesting and like you know we should be allowed to play in sports too right and then everybody debating but then the human

element is gone I mean a robot doesn't give a fuck about you know that it's game seven he's just he's a fucking robot and then people will be like well you know we the nerds would be like well when we actually did was we we put a an emotion program and we run him a little higher emotion during a game seven whatever but what if like say it goes that way and the Red Sox end up being the last team to integrate with robots and then Dan Shaughnessy's great grandson ends up right in curse curse of I don't know whatever the fucking curse of the Dave or something like that whatever whatever you call the fucking robot I'm

sorry so anyway it's like four to two Casey Stangles flapping his fucking arms flipping out how bad these this is what I love watching how similar the game still is and who knew they had split screen technology back then they'd have a runner on first and Mal Allen was explaining we're gonna go to the dual screen here and the quality the picture is so poor it almost looks like the guy on first is standing next to the batter like the wise why is that guy in the on-deck circle that close what if he fouls one off and why isn't he holding up bad so what do you what do you want for me people what do you want me to do do

you want me to watch the news and watch that fucking overt fucking dumb cunt that's racist dumb cunt what what what is the fucking wrong with that guy it's gonna have a rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma like you know I don't know I just you know with any with any luck the guy just slips on a banana peel you know I don't know wish death on anybody slips on a banana peel and then it's just basically whatever his second in command guy is versus the the other guy there the boring guy you know and we just kind of get past this guy because I can handle conservative I can handle liberal thought I can handle both of

them to a fucking point but you can't have a fucking I mean you will you will people still vote him in like he's making it great again he's proud of what happened in Tulsa you know I mean how much do you love your fucking money that you're yet you're able to fucking sleep at night fucking you know you know it's literally it's like watching sports it's like me sitting here right now rooting against the fucking Yankees who gives a shit they already have the title the flag has been flying over there for almost 68 fucking years and I'm still rooting against them anyway but we saw the fucking the Brooklyn Dodgers had the

bases loaded with one out and Duke Schneider their Mickey Mantle their male their Willie Mays up to the plate and he ended up popping out to third which reminded me of one Carl Yaskremsky and that one game playoff popped out to Nettles on third but they still had bases loaded you know now they needed a hit and then the next guy came up with Jackie Robinson and he hit a pop fly it's actually a famous play I believe because I remember seeing footage of it before he hit a pop fly in the infield and Billy Martin was on second base the great Billy Martin one of the great characters players managers ever in the

history of the game he got underneath it and it's just the wind caught it and started blowing it in and it's a famous catch where he races in his hat flies off and he just they just got it done they did what needed to be done to win the fucking game and Pee Wee Reese going deep fuck why do I care that's it that's it oh shit let me listen to Mel Allen I love sports history though you want to hear the final call you want to hear it in an area how about that 42 you can't believe the quality of this game

oh look at this now they're going right to the Pirates Orioles in the 1960s this are early 70s this might be Roberto Clemente yeah I think that was the night that was the one that they won in the early 70s with a young Willie Stargill and I want to say that that was the last game Clemente played or did Clemente get his three thousandth hit last game regular season and then unfortunately died in a plane crash I don't remember I don't remember this is what I'm doing people I'm back I'm back to not watching the news I am I am hardcore into just watching shit that already happened and right today I'm

watching a bunch of World Series games while my my beautiful baby boy sleeps and wow the fucking ballparks have changed so much I don't even know what this is World Series come on man Baltimore Orioles versus the Pittsburgh Pirates they met twice in this decade once in 79 and once in the early 70s I forget what I want to say this was 71 72 or 73 and this looks like a war memorial stadium in Baltimore because looking at the the uniforms anyway yeah that's what the hell I've been doing I just got so into that game from 1952 I actually started yelling at Billy Cox the third baseman for the Brooklyn Dodgers he made an

error it didn't cost him anything because they didn't score a run or anything and then he had another one get by him but what's his face Pee Wee Reese backed him up once again saving a run and then he made a great play oh this is 71 1971 this is going on all right I'm being a little distracted here I didn't know Ralph Hauke I forgot he played for the Yankees he was a coach he's a manager for them and then became a you know manager for the Red Sox they went I think I think went back to the Yankees I can't remember but was fun to watch and also just the way they shot the game where you were not behind the pitcher it

was like they kind of shot it from where the broadcasters sat so you could really see signs or anything like that I think once they started going behind the the pitcher that's when like you know you got a TV in the fucking in the locker room you got some little kid looking down this stealing signs I mean all of this bullshit all this shit that the Astros are getting shit for me people been doing that for fucking ever just weren't dumb enough to be I don't know I still can't believe that I'm supposed to believe that they were banging on a fucking trash can that fucking loud how loud you'd have to bang on it for nine

fucking innings five six seven game series and no one could figure that out well I guess they did figure it out because they had an investigation about it I don't know what the fuck do I know this I'll tell you what I do know F is for sit family season four is streaming now on on Netflix and it's fucking crushing and everybody's loving it's a it's the best season I'm getting all these great emails so thank you guys so much for watching if you haven't had a chance I guess you're supposed to still be inside I don't know what you're supposed to do I guess everybody's just sort of doing what the fuck they want to

do but if you're hanging inside please check it out and watch it one of a every year we seem to add another incredible actor to the show this year is no different we have the amazing Jonathan Banks who I first got to meet when I was working on Breaking Bad way back in the day and the first time I ever saw Jonathan as an actor was he played one of the heavies in Beverly Hills Cop the beginning of that movie which I don't want to ruin but we used to mean my family used to always do like his lines there's Roberto Clemente coming to the plate we see do each other's lines hey Mikey would you get

lost we used to do that all the fucking time when somebody was late for dinner that was like you know do you guys do that with you in your family have your own like you got to have your own inside jokes no Bill just your family it was that fucking unique alright alright relax relax we've all been quarantined for a while we're all a little fucking edgy so I'm doing this Sunday afternoon I am doing Jimmy Kimmel tomorrow I got a bunch of other shit I have to take care of so I'm trying to knock this thing out here doing another episode of Bill Burt later on today and in between I've been watching my beautiful son you know my

daughter's over my in-laws house oh fuck I'm just doing a lot of stuff so she comes home she asked me for to make her a Dutch baby also known as a German pancake also known as a right there Fred because if I eat one of those I immediately I have to take a fucking nap so I'm gonna make her one of those when she gets home and she's amazing my daughter is like I don't know what happened in the last month but like she actually grew an inch and and then like cognitively like the level of conversation went to a whole other level and her and she was became even more beautiful now I know I'm all prejudiced

here because I'm her dad but I'm telling you man just like blew me away you just sitting there one day and all of a sudden you're just having a full-on conversation with this little kid it's amazing so I can't wait for her to get home I'm watching all this baseball we're gonna go play a little t-ball and all that shit so anyways I'm doing Jimmy Kimmel tomorrow also the King of Staten Island been getting great reviews people that have been watching it been awesome it's 20 bucks to stream and I know only good 20 bucks well you know you can have like fucking 10 people sitting in the room and you know you all

pay two bucks it's a great movie everybody's really enjoying it I want to thank everybody that's watched it that in efforts for family I want to thank the great Joe Rogan for having me on his podcast to help promote it and if you haven't seen that I did an episode that of the Joe Rogan experience that I think he posted Friday so and I believe that's the latest one but you never know with him hardest-working man in show business there might have done another one since then but and then also Robert Kelly I did the you know what podcast and that's it I got nothing so now I'm turning off the fucking TV finally

figured out how to get everybody on the same goddamn page here so I saw a couple of fucking hilarious just amazing videos you know what else am I gonna do people I'm not gonna lie to you I got nothing I'm just trying to bang out the first half hour this thing before I get the fucking advertisements and then the questions and everything from Andrew there was this fucking guy I don't want to get anybody in trouble here because it's a very colorful video all right there's a guy all right and he's walking by an establishment you know and he wants to make fun he's basically doing the video to show that people are not

quarantining right so he is you know because he's the smart guy right so he's trying to on the fucking you know is the kids say on the sneak tip belief probably old people say that at this point he's trying to film him without him knowing so he can be like oh my god they're so fucking stupid I'm so smart so he starts filming this fucking kids saw him and just absolutely fucking trashed him fucking trashed him all his friends trashed him and then they used you know some colorful language and slash not politically correct language then the dude flips the whole thing around like he wasn't doing anything it's

like yes you were yes you were you were trying to be a smarmy cunt and you got caught and then you got fucking roasted and now you're trying to do this thing like you're somehow the victim now I don't condone the language used in this video but what I didn't like is that's that classic fucking horseshit you fucking created the situation it was a very fucking chick thing if I can get misogynistic here all right as opposed to what bill you know it's like you created the fucking situation and then you didn't get you know you you initiated this fucking social situation and then you didn't like how it got how it ended

up you know how it turned out and then all of a sudden you're the victim you are not the victim now if you want to debate the language in it that's a completely separate thing but the way the video was posted is my entire fucking problem with 24-hour news networks right down the cunts that post videos why can't you why couldn't he just posted saying like hey I was trying to be a sneaky cunt and then these guys caught me and then fucking trashed me it's incredible video but I'm trying to you know whatever I'm speaking in generalities here anyway sorry I'm reading text messages to see if I got

the the videos here and then I just watched a bunch of shit about fucking animals and stuff you know Brogan's into that stuff and he got me into it it's just it some of the some of the videos are just too much so like the praying mantis ones are just like my god I think God gave reptiles the fucking brains that they have because of the awful deaths that they that they have to fucking deal with and I notice with mammals that I believe have a bigger brain right you would know that listen to this podcast but I believe they have a bigger brain so they at least have the decency to kill what the fuck they're gonna eat before

they eat it except for bears and wild dogs wild dogs basically just you know if it's small enough it's a rabbit they'll rip it apart if it's something bigger they just start fucking you know I don't know it's it's it's you know I like bears I like watching them scratch their backs and shit I like them sitting you know in a pool of water like they're in a fucking jacuzzi I like when you know as I mentioned on Rogan I like when they ride the bicycle at the circus I'm into that shit I don't like him when watching him take down like a fucking elk it's just fucking ripping meat out of the things back as the things like

I don't know how you watch that shit but I kind of went down one of those fucking little rabbit holes and then yeah I discovered the praying mantis and I will never look at that fucking thing the same way again it's like it's like it went to a Gracie dojo and it has with like it's it's front fucking vice shit it's like I don't know it has you know like those some of those crazy martial arts weapons you know I don't know combined with wrestling where you put like nails on it and shit bill we know what a fucking praying mantis looks like all right all right I'm sorry okay I don't know what to tell you here I'm

sitting in a loud leather chair I'm icing my shoulder hoping I didn't have a fucking setback I might just bite the bullet just fucking just do what Rogan's been telling me to do just go get my fucking blood spun taking out blood spun and then they shoot a baby into your shoulder whatever the fuck it is that they do then come back right brand new shoulders start fucking bench pressing again that weird ass shit I think I'm gonna do it I don't know why I consider it like cheating how dumb am I modern medicine is cheating I don't know so I'm also suffering a little bit here people to the fucking lack of sleep I

gotta tell you my my son is is he's now like really like like a half hour he was awake and he was just like looking around you know and I heard like the first I don't know how long of their life it's like an asset trip because they're looking they have no idea what anything is you know when you set him down to change their diaper I read that the reason why they really start crying is because they have no sense of gravity because you're not holding on to them they feel like they're falling which made me feel really sad for my boy so what I do now is I just I kind of leave my forearm there for him to grab on to

and I I want to say he's crying a little less I don't know that's like he at least feels like he has a tree branch but then maybe he's just laying there like I don't know how much longer I can hang on but if he has no sense of gravity then he doesn't know the ramifications of it how do they how do they figure that out isn't that a guess because no one can remember back to then except for a couple people that work at carnivals they can't remember you know they say they meditate you go all the way back to the womb the womb is that a saint that's like that sword is it sword sword womb womb who knows all right

with that I guess I'm gonna I'm gonna take a break here and read some advertising even though I don't have any yet or am I gonna talk to you about World Series champions let's see what we got here oh for fuck's sakes where did it go where did it go you know you try to click on something there it is all right beautiful maybe I should start watching the news so I have more to talk about other than now you know what this is this is your oasis I'm sticking with the business plan here all right so here's on the 1950s go let's start 1945 okay this is the people want tigers

cadnals beat the fucking Red Sox in 46 Yankees Indians Yankees Yankees Yankees Yankees Yankees what the fuck one two three four five in a row then giants then Dodgers then Yankees then Braves then Yankees then Los Angeles Dodgers then pirates then Yankees Yankees 1960 the shot heard around the world and then that was it that was the that was the end of the golden age the Yankees went to the World Series the next two years in a row and lost and then they their streak was finally broken where they they went you know Babe Ruth we sold them but still they were smart enough to buy him but Lou Gehrig was there so what Ruth and

Gehrig to Joda Maggio to Mickey Mantel and you basically have 40 years of total fucking domination and then who is the guy who is who is the big Yankee in the 60s Bobby Mercer was their big guy and he was the first like name Yankee I believe not to get a ring which was almost unheard of and then also you know with the expansion of baseball and that type of stuff it became harder all of a sudden you know there's 24 teams 25 teams you know your odds just keep getting bigger and bigger then they come back in 77 and 78 because the fucking cheap-ass Oakland athletics didn't want to pay their team that won three in a

row 72 73 and 74 I should have known that a big red machine one in 75 and 76 76 beating the Yankees four games to none swept their asses that's what Pete Rose said to me when I got his autograph I was at the I was at the mall there and at Caesars and I bought two pictures I think I told this story before one was him sliding into third base headfirst in the 1975 World Series where they beat the Boston Red Sox right and his helmet had blown off you know and he was diving in the air and then the other one was in 1976 almost the identical picture it's him sliding to third base headface head first helmet

off so I said to him can you sign the first one Bill I'm sorry because it was with the Red Sox and he just and he looked at me he goes I'm not I go I go you'll get the joke in a second I go I'm a Red Sox fan I go and then in the second one can you write Bill you're welcome and then he laughed and he got it I was like thank God because when he looked at me I was like oh fuck Charlie hustles gonna kick the shit out of me here it was so cool I was I was me in lawhead and we actually got to talk to him about hitting and it was funny too because he sort of tested us to see if we were just a couple of jerk offs who

wanted to talk to him because like we go hey who's the toughest guy you ever faced and he just looked at us he goes who do you think and I was like I I'm trying to take the errors he played so I was like Bob Gibson he's like nope and then who did lawhead guest what's his face from the the the Dodgers which ended up being the right team the big guy who had the heart attack power pitcher built like Clemens began with a D don dark Don Drysdale he's like nope and then we guessed a few more and we go who we go he said Sandy Kofax we like really yeah and he imitated the ball he's just on either side left and right hands like it

was just falling off the table said he was the toughest and that's the greatest hitter as far as hits he's got the he has the title so I like doing that shit I like going to those not even just get their autograph because I don't give a fuck about that because I'm gonna end up losing it anyways or six me in the back of my closet just actually being able to ask them that question who is the toughest guy you ever faced you know and then you just some jerk off fan there's no camera there so they don't have to worry about anybody trying to do any fucking got your bullshit with them and they actually my experience has been

they they they open up and they actually love talking about the way I love talking comedy all right guess what I got the I got the reeds here I got the reeds so hey I'm gonna take a break here we're gonna do a little of the advertising and makes a so I can have fucking Andrew drop this bullshit in almost 30 minutes and then I'm gonna come back with the wonder of editing and I'm gonna read all your questions here for the week all right I am back oh we got the call we got everything we got the library I didn't have to fucking do that shit wonderful hey everybody it's simply safe simply safe isn't that what

we all want to be what's the number one sign of a bad home security system a guy with a bloody axe standing at the end of your fucking bed it's a hell of a question what's the number one sign of a bad home security system a home security system that's so complicated that you never use it oh yes I mean nothing you can't always blame the home security system because I'm fucking my wife actually called me dumb yesterday and she was right I tried to put together this fucking baby swing and I'm like the fuck it's a piece of shit it's it's missing a part or whatever you know and she ended up

figuring it out I thought she ducted the thing so we got an argument yesterday and she goes in you're fucking dumb okay you don't have the patience to put something together I go the fuck it was missing a piece and she goes you had it on backwards you're fucking it you know what when you get that mad yeah high emotions are that high and then the other person's so fucking right just how dumb you feel well simply safe knows that there's a lot of people like me in the world so they designed a security system that is not only secure it's so easy that even a dope like me can use it that is exactly the type of security

system simply safe has been a decade fighting against an overly difficult one they believe that simply simple is safer and it's exactly why simply safe is the home security for right now when feeling safe at home has never been more important simply safe was designed to be easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy to use while protecting your whole home 24 7 order online with the click of a button open the box place the sensors plug it in and your home is protected around the clock look at that shit I know it doesn't seem like you even needed a screwdriver order online with the click of a button I don't know if I can get

past that but if I get past that open the box place the sensors that's perfect what if you can do that for your kid you know sneaking out to do meth you know you can put it on the fucking window no technician or salesperson has to come and disrupt your house you don't need to pay any outrageous monthly fees or sign a two-year contract tell a personal story about setting up simply safe about how simply safe it if possible well you know what they already had a ridiculously difficult home security system in my place before I got my house so you know my wife knows how to use it all right can we stop exposing

how dumb I am simply safe was named best overall home security of 2020 by US News and World Report and their 24 7 professional monitoring and emergency dispatch starts at 50 cents a day head to simply safe comm slash burr and get free shipping and a 60-day money back guarantee that simply safe comm slash burr to make sure they know that our show sent you all right now with that let's get to some of your questions for the week there shall we come on come on why won't you go backwards there we go there we go here is the content all right here we go here we go hey bill okay celebrity message video hey Billy

Wood you're a smart guy here comes the insult hey Billy he's already has his arm around me hey Mikey would you get lost hey Billy Wood you're a smart guy no I'm not and you've come up with a lot of cool ideas if you were to produce a celebrity video where they talk or sing to the camera what would you I cannot believe the amount of celebrities that still do those videos no every no matter what the fucking messages you're gonna get shit all over you know and sometimes fans are right and other times they just hate you because they see how big your kitchen is you can't win

all regular people really fucking annoyed me really annoy me with their hypocrisy when they make fun of fucking celebrities and rather than seeing themselves you know and all the fucking bullshit in their life they think that their lies aren't as bad as celebrities lives because they have a humble size kitchen you're all the same fucking people you just don't know how to act you know maybe if you regular people learned how to pretend a little better you could get a big bigger kitchen I mean how great is this fucking country if you can pretend to be somebody you're not you can get a giant kitchen if you were

to produce a celebrity video where they talk or sing to the camera what would you do I wouldn't do it because I know they'd all be yelling at me telling me that I fucked him over because you guys would all trash him what song would you all sing this is such a funny question any celebrities of note that you would have assuming you could have anyone and bill more most importantly what's the message you want to get out there hugs and kisses I would do a parody of it because I lack the talent to execute it you know to actually do a good one so I would do a parody of it and I would probably I would do it about gold

digging whores or I would do it about white women never feeling that they were wrong or I would do it about all the white women talking about white women that they know who are actually named Karen who are actually good people watching white women trying desperately not to be called on their fucking bullshit you know and not and for them not to be fucking labeled is one of my favorite things I've watched in a while so I would probably do a video on that and I'm trying to think if there's a song named Karen because they got this oh sharing lady they're always singing well I'm the type of guy you know there's

Ethel on my left how funny is that wanderer song this glad to song and this flow I'm or it's all old lady names now but back then it's just like flow was fucking young and hot I'd love to get in her giant underpants with all the fucking frills on the back he's a buggy buggy buggy buggy of hairy bushes let me see this there is song named Karen Karen lyrics Karen I'm not talking I do let's see videos I would use this the first song I find Karen song the new the new the Karen new generation no I don't want it to be Karen hip-hop let me just write Karen love song so I get an old-school one love song alright Karen

love song let's see here if this this this is probably the one I would use after I get past the advertising after I get past the advertising okay skip the ad you know people there are so many white women out there named Karen and they're not bad people there's soccer moms their nurses I don't think this is English they're white women just like you and me dealing with the toxic white males in their lives then I cut to a white woman named Karen and she'd already be crying I mean I know that the black people I mean African-Americans have it really difficult in this country and I

know that white police officers have taken a lot of liberties but just imagine what it's like to be actually living with that white police officer something like that I think that's how it would go I don't know what the fuck that song was I wonder what when they go into a fucking like if I was a record producer and they went when I was producing a song that fucking cheesy about some chick named Karen right or a fucking lady or whatever I would try to talk to the other bandmates and be like hey guys is this like a real chick does he really deal this stuff or can we kind of fucking break balls as we record this

knowing that we're all just trying to make a pile of cash and act like we're sensitive people rather than we fuck everything that moves and do a mountain of cocaine during the recording and touring of this album is this an actual Karen and then the people in the band be like we don't know man he hasn't talked to us in a while he teased on a separate tour bus or they fucking hate the lead singer so much that they say no you know it isn't a real woman and then I would say something stupid about her and then that'd be this big fucking thing and then I would get replaced and in would walk Ted Templeman all right new father bad

relationship dear Bill what the fuck do I do oh wait are you asking me advice oh shit it's time for me to play my jingle where is it one of these days I want to get organized come on come on come on it's time for advice hey that's me there you go there you go all right you have a question if you have a question people I will give you an answer okay I will give you I mean I don't have the answer but I'll give you one if you want advice I'll say something I will move my jaw and make sounds in your directions all right directions direction all right what the fuck do what the fuck do I do man he's like that dude in platoon I got

a bad feeling my girlfriend keeps pressuring me into marrying her we have a seven-month-old baby Jesus fucking Christ dude you are married for the next 20 fucking years we have a seven-month-old baby girl together and I feel like if we didn't have her we probably wouldn't be together now my daughter is my world wow wow wow from time to time I get hit with this wave of fuck I want to leave her I do love her but I feel like we're too much different from one another her fucking family is so involved they're great but it's fucking annoying all right if you do love her and you do have a kid at some point you got to put

your kid you know I don't know dude I've never been in this situation thank God but you know I would sit down you got to talk this out I mean I would talk to a therapist because the fact that you still want to leave you got to figure out why you do you want to leave because you love her just because you stayed with her long enough that you love her like a friend or do you love her lover but you already have a mr. love a lover you have a fucking kid so I would talk to a professional about this but as far as the family you just got to set up some boundaries which involves you really thinking about what you want to say and

then sit down and have a talk if somebody's you know crossing the line there weaving over the double line as they say there the other day my girl was bitching about her having to be at home with the baby all the time well I work six days a week in long hours well get used to that pal it's always about them she says that she feels like a slave I know like you're out there fucking yeah it's like I'm out there fucking working feeding all of you okay we had a kid we bought you think I want to work six days a week I don't want to work six days a week the way you don't want to fucking stay home the whole fucking time you know

but trying to get them to understand that that's that's that's a that's a 90 degree fucking grade hill which is a cliff buddy and it's got ice on the face I'm like what the fuck how all you have to do is clean occasionally and cook occasionally it's not like I'm forcing her to clean and cook and take care of shit sometimes she doesn't feel like it and I don't care because I understand she's feeling tired from taking care of our baby all right so you got some empathy there I will tell you having a baby I mean that's all encompassing it's not like when they go to sleep you have all this energy you

know you sleep when they sleep when I move you move just like that right ludicrous when they sleep you sleep right she also do like a lot of things that women say during this time you just they're just overly tired they're overly emotional you know what I mean they're hormones yeah whatever they would have a fucking excuses they have and what you have to do is you your job is to push down that everything that you're feeling okay and slowly inch your way towards your first heart attack at 58 oh I got some shit to say on this one but let's let's just plow through here then she says we're not even married and

I'm like what the fuck does that have to do with anything it has to do with like her fucking the end of the price is right you know is she gonna win the showcase is she gonna get both showcases she needs to know what's gonna happen anyways I'm fucking I fucking work and you take care of home seems fair to me and I pay all the bills she occasionally helps and is willing if I ask but I prefer to take care of it yeah that's it I'm earning money to keep the lights on and food on the table and a roof over our head and you're taking care of the kid we're parents this is it this is this this fucking bill of

goods that corporations sold women that you can actually have it all was was is a lie and they just wanted you to keep spending and feeling like you needed more I mean you guys are together and you have a beautiful daughter and you that's your world you don't need anything else but what about that quiz and art like she gets to have fun all she like she gets to have fun still she gets to hang out with her family go swimming or whatever you guys have a pool that's fucking amazing I can never do shit because I have only one day off and on my off day I fucking run errands oh Jesus I know I know when nobody cares and do

whatever dumb shit she wants to do this this is it dude this is this is yeah this is welcome this is being a dad this kind of bitching occurs time to time and I'm and I'm tired of it she's always bitching saying I don't share a motion or spend time with her well you're gonna have to work on that there's ways of just acting like you're doing it and they'll believe it just make an effort I'm the worst dude don't listen to me if I'm not at work I'm with her I even do the laundry alone at the at the laundromat I wash dry and fold while she stays home on my day off okay but you know you have a pool but you don't

have a laundry so I think you have a pool at your apartment or there's a town pool she goes to but still a pool is the shit I wash dry and if it's not yours you don't have to take care of it that's even better I wash dry and fold while she stays home on my day off she just wants to bitch she keeps pressuring me to marry her and it keeps and it makes me just want to run but now that we have a baby I'm scared that if we don't last how it affect our daughter yeah you should be thinking of your daughter first I'm not even attracted to her the way I used to be I don't know what to do well yeah I mean if somebody's bitching

at you all the time you that fucking tired you just that they you fail to see who they were this is something that could help you guys if there's someone in a really involved family could watch the baby for a day or two you take a day off from work and you guys just get away and maybe you know remember again why you guys liked each other in the first place because that's been great for me in my life but I will tell you this this is something that as a man you have to just suck up and understand is that the male-female relationship is all about the woman all right that's what it is and as much as they say they want to hear

from you and they want to know what you're thinking it's it's about them always them and their emotions comes first it even it comes before the kids you know that's how it lets you know if they're not happy no one gets to be happy there's no hey the kids are here that's it's just how it fuckers it's how they're wired all right they can also make a baby so there's there's that so you got to focus on the positive but and here's the thing as the guy you're gonna be doing all of this shit working your ass off you're gonna die before she does and none of it is gonna be acknowledged okay and if you want a

little credit you're being fucking selfish okay and that's basic I'm speaking in generalities but that is essentially what goes on there all right so you're just gonna have to suck it up and occasionally go out and get some beers with other guys that you know who are dads who are in the same situations and you you'll exchange stories and at first you're gonna be a little pissed and then you're just gonna start laughing it's why guys are so funny it's because of the situations that we end up in and like having a kid is really difficult and you know both people's lives have to adjust because you have the kid but one person

it is acknowledged you know it's constantly acknowledged what a woman goes through during pregnancy the importance of the role of a mother and blah blah blah and all it's up and for guys it's basically like hey fucking stick around they need you all right don't be afraid to do the laundry and cook and clean and fucking all of this other shit so I don't know I don't know what to tell you buddy I would do what you need I would I think you need to work on your relationship and I'm not putting this on you but I think you need to try to communicate to her how you're feeling and this is a very tricky thing because

you could marry her and she could become even more of a fucking nightmare or you could marry her and that could have been the issue and then she can fucking settle down because maybe she's getting pressure from her family that you know that they had you know a kid she had a kid out of wedlock I don't know how religious her it might be that you know but I can tell you this trying to make somebody else happy is not something that you can do it's impossible so what you have to do is you know look out for yourself so I would I would talk to a therapist about what the fuck is going on and I would not marry her until you

feel like that's what you want to do okay and you know when you sit down with her you can tell her about the pressure that you're underneath and I would stop short of saying you know you bitching at me all the fucking time why the hell would I marry you that's what you say to your guy friend at the bar but as someone who was fucking had to be dragged kicking and screaming I got married so late in life I wish I did it a lot younger and I love being married despite all this shit that I'm saying there are certain things like this you know my wife would come on here and do fucking nine hours with no guests about what a

fucking asshole I am to live with so I'm not trying to make my wife out to be a bad guy I will just say that in general nobody gives a shit about the guy in the relationship it's just what it is it's just how it is it's just how it is okay and you got to accept that for your daughter okay and the fact that you had it you have to man up you did have a kid with this person and you need to do everything you can do you know to make sure that kid has the best childhood so I would try the best I you possibly can to make this thing work which is means you have to try and communicate with you know this woman about how you're

feeling and hopefully she's a cool chick and will actually listen all right rather than making everything about herself and start fucking crying and then you're consoling her because she's been a douche to you oh boy all right let's let's let's get off the subject all right but I have tremendous amount of issues with women so you don't take it all with a grain of salt but I would talk to a professional rather than some fucking idiot all right wild animal ride dear Billy bison belt loved you in the King of Staten Island thank you thank you so much thank you so much for streaming the movie if you could ride

one wild animal which would it be if I could ride one people have rode ostriches fuck that fuck that before see Swiss family Robinson from movie from the 1960s for me I'd love to ride a kangaroo or a panther I would not want to ride a wild animal I would I would want to ride a domesticated broken animal like a pony or a horse that is is sad and has accepted the fact that a human being is gonna get on its back you know just out of my own personal safety so it won't fucking throw me head over heels and then turn around and fucking maul me you want to ride a panther I guess you wouldn't get hurt in this

scenario you know what I'd like to do if it wouldn't kill me I'd like to watch a ball game with a bear and have it sitting there like a raccoon does when it's eating Doritos on the couch some of those videos have seemed just sit there with the fucking bear you know when there's a bullshit call just fucking both look at each other we both shake our heads and we go back you know he's got a big fucking salmon he's eating I'd be smoking a stick you know what's funny what I just pitched I could have sold that as a movie when Clint Eastwood was doing those orangutan movies deep cut it's like

Clint Eastwood makes yogi bear every any which way you can all right deep cuts hey Bill I am a female drummer I love it I love it I love this person already and I know you would totally be into this song high noon from DJ shadows 1998 EP preemptive strike in the heyday of my favorite era of music mid 90s trip hop this UK based artists releases are still inspiring artists of today I think my wife listens to him that's why I knew that I kind of knew that name I should say known for a dark blend of trippy beats moody melodies and groundbreaking sampling hi noon is a rare instance where the drum rhythm is the main focus

and the power powerful driver of the incredible energy this song puts out it starts with the bang and its fast tempo culminates in an absolutely climactic drum solo that leaves you in a shudder of goosebumps this sounds like a movie review I gotta listen to this people it's called hi noon from DJ shadows 1998 EP preemptive strike you guys have really turned me on to some great music by the way I appreciate this features some of the my favorite break beats of all time I've never heard anything that even comes close to it it's a thrill ride from beginning to end to anyone who appreciates drumming I watched this

this whole thing on the history of hip-hop what makes hip-hop hip-hop and I never knew break dancing was because when DJs would take that part of the song that people wanted to listen to over and over on a leap loop that became a break and then these guys would dance to those breaks became break dancers had no idea I had no idea and I was young enough when what was it electric boogaloo and all that shit came I had no idea what it was we should just watch those fucking movies and laugh at the way they were talking and dancing was just it was a completely different world like you have to understand there was no fucking

internet in how advanced you know dancing and all this shit was on the inner city when it came up to us we just what the fuck it was like what was I mean it was amazing but it was also like watching a comedy because they were speaking English we didn't understand what the fuck was going on deep cuts hip-hop oh I love it here we go hello mr. Burr first of all I'm a huge fan of you kind thank you very much thank you very much thank you very much and as you've been doing as you've been doing a music deep cut segment recently I thought I would tell you about a few hip-hop ones since I'm more familiar with it rather

than rock or heavy metal the Punisher by Eric B and Rakeem released in 1992 this was on the fourth and last album recorded by the Duke by the duo Eric B and Rakeem titled don't sweat the technique the duo was initially catapulted to fame by hit signals Eric B is president released in 1986 what was the other one the other one of the classic one that crossed over I forget and and as see and Rakeem became incredibly famous throughout New York City with records such as paid in full that was the one I knew I am I'm that's ridiculous just how surface I am on so many different kinds of music rap music country music and

follow the leader which displayed his lyrical prowess the Punisher is another one of these lyric lyrically dense songs but seems to be overlooked by the other hit songs from 1992 on both the east and west coast Wu Tang 7th chamber by Wu Tang released in 1993 and included on their debut album enter the Wu Tang 36 chambers now this I actually had this cassette tape and I listened to this a zillion times when I first moved to New York this song seems to be overshadowed by such hits as cream also known as cash rules everything around me and method man is that the one M E T H O D man what was that from his

single in fairness the entire album is a masterpiece so picking one song as the bit I should know that one what song is it a Wu Tang by 7th chain now this one I should know let's see the thing no one ever wanted to hear Bill rapping should I well this is a comedy protest Wu Tang the fuck was it 7th chamber come on people just just for once internet just fucking work do I know this one oh never he always licks my pussy all right hang on a second oh yeah I know it's one is he is he is he dead

Vietnam I remember this all right all right what I'm gonna get in trouble with these lyrics yeah I remember this one I love this fight you know what this album actually crossed over into my white world I actually started listening to this shit because by now I was hanging out with Patrice this came out and was it 93 or something like that and I was hanging out with Patrice and he had thrown all my bad rap cassette tapes right out the fucking window and then told me what I should be listening to and then when this this one I actually I moved to New York slightly before he did

and people were listening to this album and I was in New York being like oh my god these are racially mixed crowds I'm used to just all white angry people at fucking next comedy stop what do I do so I was like I need to listen to some of this I gotta get something in me so I need a reference that can save me on a late show something yeah so then I got the tape and I I listened to that one what did I listen to back then that was when that came out the Fuji's came out and then there was the beginning of all that biggie Tupac shit where they stopped being friends and then all of that shit happened right 93 by then

Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg all of that stuff came out I was never into the West Coast shit initially and then years later I'm always I'm fucking late to everything I didn't get into grunge until like fucking the late 2000s I'm the worst I'm the worst right all right let's get back to the whatever the fuck I was just reading MMP content okay man that brought back all kinds hot one hot two hot three hot old dirty bastard live and uncut little stupid boombox my walk through bedroom this song seems to be all right all right okay is another one Trace isn't that like the fucking cake Tribal Trilogy by Big Pun is that a cake am I

fucking crazy this song is effectively now Big Pun I knew the one dead in the middle a little Italy that that thing I knew that one that he did with Fat Joe I'm a very superficial I skimmed the top skimmed the top I know I know just enough to get me through a comedy show late night in New York City back in the day this song is effectively a fusion of some of the illest emcees in New York City 1998 off the album capital punishment the Latino rapper joins forces with prodigies of mob deep I remember a mob deep in this comedian James Tallinn Harris telling me that because there was a guy you oh what the

fuck was honest John used to go up I think he used to go on stage he was this old white dude is this old white dude he would go on stage and he'd come on to swim one of the mob deep tracks and the crowd would always laugh because they would hear that and they would think it was gonna be some you know gangster you know black comic going up there if that existed whatever or at least that vibe and then this old white guy would go up there and inspect a deck for Wu-Tang clan all rapping on a beat produced by RZA also from the Wu-Tang clan all three rappers showcase their talent exquisitely and it's almost strange this song is not

as popular as others released by Big Pun the raw vinyl record scratching sound along with the skill for technique makes this track a must listen here's a list of some songs which I think are a bit obscure overall all of these songs are incredible and I feel people who are into hip-hop or are getting into it should listen to these joints to get the full experience I love that he didn't adjust his slang so you could hear me say these joints all right here we go as the rhythm goes Eric B and Rakeem past the hand grenade Eric B and Rakeem Rakeem am I saying it right anger in the nation Pete Rock sounds like a white guy and

CL smooth come clean Jiru the oh my god I'm just gonna get fucking made fun of here DAMA JA distortion to static the roots all we got is us onyx uncut raw AZ literally like Arizona abbreviation music makes me high lost boys open-minded ghetto ghetto boys assassination day ghostface killer inspected deck Ray Kwan RZA section the roots nighttime vultures mob deep featuring Rick Rick Kwan gee that guy got around huh New York yeah out there Rakeem lie to kick it Tupac as high as Wu Tang get obviously Wu Tang clan this guy's got a bunch here severe punishment Wu Tang clan the worst onyx it's a must Rakeem featuring R-A-H-Z-E-L

we ain't the game feature in Eminem Cinderella man Eminem legacy Eminem you know what there was an Eminem one that he had a guy on there he did a guest spot I thought he was fucking amazing and then I never saw him do anything else or maybe I just didn't search it what the fuck I'll have to figure that one out so there you go for all you white people out there I want to have a cooler fucking music list there's some deep cuts some deep cuts off some joits from some rappers sorry all right where are we here hour and six minutes in there we go people how about that that wasn't bad no news no news no news I did I stayed out

of the fucking quagmire I had to give the racist orange cunt a little bit of shit they gotta get Mike Pence yeah Mike Pence needs to accidentally push that guy down the fucking stairs and then Mike Pence should fucking run then we can just go back to fucking normal all right we'll go back to normal with a couple of old white guys running for president strange times all right anyways that's the podcast everybody please watch season 4 of efforts for family please stream the king of Staten Island and or listen to all this cool old deep cut hip-hop shit that I just this person let us know about and also

high noon DJ shadow 1998 all right that is it go fuck yourselves I will talk to you I'll check in on you on Thursday stop