Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 6-18-12

Episode Date: June 19, 2012

Posted in PodcastPlay AudioBill rambles about European jeans, downtown San Jose, and police brutality.

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Um, I apologize for being a day late, sort of. You know, I apologize that the guy who really doesn't give a shit who just banged your sister. Oh, I didn't know. Oh, that was your sister? Dude, I didn't see her for like fucking six months. She changed. All right. Um, no, I was doing, I was doing a show in Chicago, Chicago, and uh, you know, got out late and

everything, and I didn't bring any of my shit with me. So I was already going to do a half-assed one as far as the sound. I was just going to record it on my iPhone, man. And, um, and then I don't know, I ended up fucking going out until like 430 in the morning, and then my flight was at 12. So you do the math. Okay. I'm sorry.

I partied last, uh, Sunday night, like, you know, like me and my friends successfully robbed a casino. You know, like in the end of sexy beast, you know, when they robbed it successful and everybody's laughing, you know, fucking, you know, whatever, some sort of old pub or steakhouse cigars, the whole damn thing. I was having a great time and I'm going to be, I'm going to lie to you. I completely forgot that I had to do the podcast completely 100% forgot. You know, sorry, it's not my fault. I've been jet-setting.

No, I had a great weekend. I started off in San Jose. I'm not trying to make you guys jealous. I mean, San Jose, California, right there, you guys ought to just shut this whole podcast off just out of pure envy, you know, I don't know if you guys are fans of the price is right, fans of the price is right. But many times during the showcase showdown, uh, one of the, the final gifts to make one of those housewives soccer moms lose their mind is an all expense paid trip to San Jose, California.

Granted, it is the first showcase. It's not the second one. Second one, I think is to Fresno. Yeah, went to San Jose and it's slowly getting better. San Jose slowly turning it around. Every time I come there, it's a little less scary or at least it feels a little less weird, you know, and then like Saturday is the weirdest day when you work San Jose, because San Jose is one of those classic cities where, um, you know, there's all kinds of people

until the end of the workday. And the second the workday ends like around five, everybody just gets the fuck out of town. And then all of a sudden you can't, you can't even get a goddamn dinner anywhere. Everything's closed. Everybody starts closing like one of those old fucking westerns when some bad asses come into town and everybody's pulling down their curtains closed for business. That's basically what it feels like. But during the day, there's people walking around to beautiful city.

They got a little choo-choo train that goes up and down the driveway, you know. And, um, this is just for people who've never been to San Jose. People that I feel bad for that are sitting somewhere in a job that they don't like dreaming of going to San Jose, California, little pictures of SJ, SJ town or whatever the fuck they call it, all around your little office, cubicle maybe, maybe your workstation out in the warehouse. Maybe, maybe, maybe you drive for a living and you got those up on the dashboard, you know. He's bound to die. Um, Saturday is the weirdest day because nobody comes in even during the day.

So you're walking around this city with skyscrapers and there's literally nobody there. You feel like you're in the fucking walking dead. It's the only way to describe it. But, uh, but down at the improv, the shows were packed out. So I want to thank everyone who came down. Um, I worked with Kevin Shea. Kevin Shea, if you guys haven't seen him, he's fucking hilarious, totally original. I hope you guys realize that, by the way.

I don't bring any fucking cupcakes on the road, you know. You know, some headliners, you know, they'll go out and they'll go out with some, some fucking weak person in front of them just so they look even better. That's not the way I do it. All right. I actually bring out somebody who's funny. Look at me pat myself in the back. Now, you know what it is?

I can't stand, I can't stand watch. I can't stand working with somebody who sucks. That's what it really is. It really has nothing to do with the crowd. All right, Bill, let's get to the truth of this. There you go. It does. I can, you know, because when they, when somebody sucks,

and having to listen to that act five times during the fucking week, I can't even tell you what the hell it does to you. And then they always end up closing on the same fucking bit. And I don't know. And the bits awful and it's killing because they're, I don't know, I don't know, doing something. I don't know what the fuck it is. Some sort of standup trick and it makes me hate them.

So what I do is I try to bury myself in the bowels of the club. So I don't have to hear a word of their acts, but no matter how much I do that, I still have to listen to the last minute of their final joke because I have to be ready to go on. So that's the real reason why I do it. All right. So there you go. So this is the fucking podcast.

It is a day late. And as always, I don't have enough fucking hours in the day. I should have just brought the stupid goddamn necks are on the road. What the fuck? I didn't want to do it because it was too heavy fucking pussy. Um, anyways, hey, I flew back from Chicago and I watched that, that John Carter from Mars movie or whatever the hell it's called, and he says, I'm John Carter from Virginia like 90 times and it was actually sci-fi.

And I know recently on the Joe Rogan experience, I made fun of all those sci-fi movies. You know, if you're stuck on a plane, it's not a bad movie. You know, you know what kills me is they always got to do that shit in those fucking those sci-fi movies where they always have to throw in those fucking awful invented words when somebody's arguing. Everybody's speaking English, you know, speaking the goddamn Kings English. You understand what everybody's saying. I mean, if you went back 300 years in this fucking country, you wouldn't know what half

the people were talking about with all that ye this and ye that and fucking go with and come with. It's like, it'd be like reading the Bible. I can't make fucking heads of tales tales of it. You know, read the Bible. It's like, am I still supposed to be going left to right here or do I go left right to left? Because it doesn't make sense. They always have those dumb lines like the gods of off guard will not have this.

They go out of the way to like invent one word. What in the name of marsupial is going on in here? They had one of those and actually just fucking threw my headphones down. Then the douche sitting next to me looked over at me like, what the fuck is your problem? And I need you guys to come up with a name for this phenomenon. You ever been standing in a in an airport terminal and there's some douche talking really loud on his cell phone, of course you have. We all have, right?

It's just big, just giant dude. There's a fat black dude from England. So he sounds like he's in, you know, lock stock in smoking barrels, whatever the fuck it's called. And he's a tub of shit, which is making me laugh because everybody in Europe acts like they're fucking smart and in shape. You know, he looked like the fucking dude on, you know, you know, what do you look like? You know, that show, the Cleveland Brown show, you know, his son, it's exactly what he looked like.

He didn't talk like him, but he had the fucking round glasses, the whole goddamn thing. That's what the fuck he looked like. And he's talking and he's fucking, he's, he's American fat. He's Chicago fat. All right. But he's European. So he still has to wear those tight fucking jeans. I don't know why.

I don't know what it is about Europe and fucking suffocate in your balls. But Europeans just, their jeans cannot be fucking tight. They just cannot be fucking tight enough. They have, they have to fucking frame their package. That goddamn units look like fucking hand solos face when he gets frozen in that little piece of fucking carbon or whatever the fuck it was. Um, anyways, so he's running his stupid. Yeah.

Yeah, Mike, going over to Melbourne after that, going to go back over to fucking, who gives a fuck, right? Just talking, talking, talking, big, stupid Chicago bear fucking gut. You know, you know, when you get the creases on the side, you can stick mail in there. He's got those on the side, right? Offensive lineman fat. You know, he's got great footwork dough, but look at his fucking belly. And he's just running his goddamn.

Yep. You know, so I walk away from the guy, but he's one of these guys who takes a little stroll when he walks. So he keeps fucking walking over into my little area. Right. So I'm like, oh, you know, Bill, come on, just fucking, don't be this. Don't be fucking screaming and yelling. Just fucking relax.

And what is the name of this phenomenon? They start loading the fucking plane. I get on the plane. Here comes that fucking douche, right? Still talking. Yeah, mate. Yeah. Yeah.

Good day, mate. Yeah. All fucking bullshit. I know good day mates from fucking Australia before I get shit from fucking people from England. You all sound the same to me, right? So he comes walking up the aisle. He's still running his fucking yap.

And I'm just going, ah, Jesus Christ. All right. I'm gonna listen to this guy for another five, four, three until he goes by and the motherfuckers in my row. What are the odds? You know, what are the fucking odds? God damn 70 fucking rows. Not only is he in my row, he's sitting right next to me.

And he stays on the phone the whole fucking time. Yeah, mate. Yeah. No, no. Teddy bears watching telly. Is this Stan, right? The whole fucking time. Why are you swearing?

I'm not swearing. The whole fucking time sitting next to me running his goddamn. Yeah, but this fat fucking stomach and the crease on the side. And, um, it's the only, this is the only, uh, the only props I will give this guy is, is, you know, he never, he never said hello. We didn't speak the whole flight. I loved it. I loved that he was as, as self-involved as I am.

And, uh, last thing I wanted to hear, last thing I wanted to do was start talking to him because he already annoyed the shit out of me. And I know from experience that if I'm going to talk to somebody from another country, at some point they're going to shit on the United States. That's something that they like to do while calling us the ignorant Americans, traveling around the world, you know, all knees and elbows. Those motherfuckers come over here and it's just, you can't talk to them for more than fucking five minutes before they, they shit on America.

I don't, I don't want to fucking understand it. You know, I would never do that. The only, the only way I would do that is if I was on stage in another country, just, just for the fucking ridiculousness of it, to start making fun of their fucking country. But if I was sitting on a plane, I would just be talking, you have a beautiful country, blah, blah, blah, be a decent fucking guy. I don't fucking, ah, Jesus Christ. The hell was I just going to talk?

I just remembered something in the middle of that. The hell was I talking about? Hang on a second. Let me think about this. Oh yeah, I remember what it was. Did I tell this story like fucking four months ago? I pulled my big ass truck into this small spot, but there was nobody on the other side of me and I was fine, right?

When I came out, somebody had pulled in and it was really tight as far as like on either side of my truck and then I didn't have a lot of space to back out. So it was this fucking problem. I keep trying to back, you know, back out, come back in, back out, like inch of my way in. So this fucking guy starts helping me out. I think he was from England and he's like, you know, next time, why don't you do the un-American thing and back in? And I, I, I fucking, I, it's like you can't even help me out of the spot without fucking

nitpicking your fucking cunts. You know what? I'll listen to it from Australia, but England, the amount of shit that is going on in the world still because of those cunts, the fact that they actually fucking give, you had the balls to give the United States shit, the very least be like, hey, welcome to the party. Welcome.

You guys are slowly catching up to us historically as the biggest fucking oppressive douchebags on the planet. You want to come at me like that? Absolutely. But if you're going to fucking come at me like you didn't do all this other bullshit out there, the fucking caste system in India and all that fucking crap, the shit that happened in Rwanda, you know? That's all I got.

Two examples. I don't know anything else. The Falkland Islands. Ah, Jesus, the ignorant American strikes again. But you know what I'm saying? If I actually read, I could fucking bury you guys in this argument. All right? With your jolly rancher flag, whatever the fuck you call it.

All right. Thank God I don't have a gig coming up in English after that little thing. You know? Oh, Jesus. I got, oh, Jesus. I got a ton of shit for my fucking comments about hair metal last week. You know? Dude, I wasn't saying it was all bad.

But come on. This is what I should say. Okay. Look, disco music wasn't all bad. Okay? Le Freak. Come on. You really think that's a bad fucking song?

You do? Really? And what? And every rose has its thorn is better. You want to go back and forth? Little tit for tat here? Fucking Le Freak blows any of those heavy metal ballads away. All right?

I'm not saying Van Halen with David Lee Roth was the shit. All right? It's kind of like the Red Sox with Theo Epstein and Tito and all that. Now that they blew it up, we're going to be fucked. Who else? Who else was great in the eight? There was a lot of good fucking shit. But there was, you know what the fuck I'm talking about?

Give me an R, R, O, O, C, C, K. And what do you got? Rock. And what are you going to do? Rock you. Really? Can you come up with a disco song? Worse than that.

That's your challenge for this week. And if you can, I will shut the fuck up about this, because I'm not saying it was all bad. I'm not saying I didn't like Iron Maiden. I didn't say that. I didn't say that I didn't like Metallica, which I actually didn't in the 80s. I thought that it was too hard.

It was too hard for me. Okay? I had to stay in my borderline hair metal little bit of glam. And oh, he's wearing jeans on stage. He's, he's, he's bringing it back. Little fucking music box that I was in. I missed out on a lot of good shit. All that new wave shit.

Some of that stuff was good. Some of the talking head stuff early on. That stuff was all good. I missed out on all of that. You know, I like their mainstream shit burning down the house. That's all I listened to. Let me see here if I can get.

Oh, what the hell is it? Let me see if I can get any, any comments of people telling me. No, these people giving me shit for my podcast being late to fuck. Dude, hurry up with my free entertainment. Some of you do a picture of a big dick. That's nice. Stop jerking off and give us the fucking podcast for fuck's sakes. By the way, happy birthday.

See what I do. This is my crowd. This is what I facilitate. Ah, Jesus Christ. I can't fuck. Ah, Jesus Christ. I can't fight it anymore. Look, for all you fucking metalheads out there.

All right. I wasn't saying, you know what the fuck I'm talking about. Okay. You can't tell me that you don't watch some of those old videos and they're not fucking. I'm not, you know what? I'm not letting you suck me back into this argument again. All right. I said what I had to say.

Okay. It's a lot of motley crew shit. I did like some of the shit didn't hold up so much. Dude, when that theater pain tour, when they will go fucking coming on stage, looking like they sold Mary Kay cosmetics. I mean, come on. I get it. His fucking drum set went fucking all the way around.

But come on. You can't tell me that even they don't look at it. You know what? Look at the fucking cover of theater pain. Okay. I want you to hold that up and then think about my argument and then still tell me to go fuck myself. All right.

And if you can pull that off, I will. All right. I will fuck off. All right. So anyways, you're listening to the Monday morning podcast, everybody. I do one of these every single week. If you're, if you're new to the, uh, the podcast, this is what I do. I shit on things and people shit back on me.

And then maybe in the end of it, we, uh, we learned something. We have learned shit on this podcast, haven't we? We've learned that that sitting in a cubicle is not something that you dreamed of as a child and that you eventually want to get out of it. We've learned that I can't be funny without saying fuck and cunt every other word. You guys, uh, what else? You know that I'm going to hell or I'm going into the ground, one or the other, depending on whether you're religious or not.

And you've also learned that there's no reason to go to the post office. Oh, he's slipping in a commercial. Hey, listen, if you see, if you're still going to the post office, you're probably still listening to a theater of pain on cassette tape. What stamps.com you ask, are you new to my podcast and you haven't heard this commercial 40,000 times? This is what stamps.com is stamps.com is this wonderful website that eliminates you ever having to go to the post office again.

Okay. Think about all the things that happen when you go to the post office, the homeless guy holding the door, like you can't open it yourself. Okay. And maybe you're a liberal and you want to give him some, you're going to give him some money. Okay. But you know, damn well, you're not going to touch his hands.

You got to do that little throw. You got to do a little throw, you know, what I do is I always try to throw it right at their fucking breastplate, right at their chest. And that way they can kind of do like a basket catch. That's what I do, you know, because I've tried to do the dropping thing. The hand is so callous. It just fucking bounces right off of it. It's like you threw it against the fucking concrete and it falls in the ground and then

they're crawling around trying to fucking pick up a quarter and you feel bad. You know, I would say about that time I gave that homeless guy some change. So I was walking out of standup New York on the upper west side of New York City. I gave him some change and as I was walking away, I just heard, fuck you. And I heard the sound of my change being thrown over the fucking sidewalk. He was an angry drunk, you know, when he had his standards. So like, give me some cash or go fuck yourself. And I remember, did I get mad?

No, I think I laughed my ass off. No, I think I got mad because I was by myself. So then it just kind of was him against me. So I got upset. But if I was with somebody else, I would have had to laugh because they would have been laughing at me. Anyway, stamps.com everybody. If you're still going to the post office to send out letters and packages, the truth is you're wasting your time.

Okay. And take my advice. Okay. Use stamps.com instead. All right. I send out all my DVDs this way, send them out to the clubs. I got my little scale. I put on my little Mr. McFeely speedy delivery hat.

Crank the whole damn thing out, slap the stamp on it. And I'm done. Never have to go to the post office. Stamp.com is quick and easy way to get postage. How does it work, Bill? I'll tell you. You can buy and print official U.S. postage using what you already have, your own computer and printer.

They also give you a little digital scale. My favorite thing. You know, I feel like a little kindergarten or playing post office, except it's real, man. They give you a little digital scale, scale stamps.com eliminates guesswork. You'll get the exact postage for any letter or package 24 seven, whenever you need it. And the mailman comes and picks it all up.

You know, unless you live in the city. Right. What if you live in the city? That'll be a letter. Bill, can you please not bring up problems with the product? You'll never have to go to the post office again. Endorsement. I'm so stupid.

Talk about your use of stamps.com. I already did that. So anyways, here we go. I got a special offer right now. If you use my name. Burr, B U R R for this special offer. You get a no risk trial plus $110 bonus offer. It includes the digital scale and up to $55 in free postage.

Don't wait. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else. Click on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage and type in Burr. B U R R that stamps.com enter Burr and welcome to the wonderful world of never having to go to the post office again. There you go. See what I just did. It's like you were dating some psycho chick and I just broke up with her for you.

You don't have to ever deal with her again. Now you can go find the love of your life. You'll have time to do things like that. Maybe get back into P90Xing. You know? Maybe you could do that because you're not standing in line at the post office. There's all kinds of stuff you could do. You could sit around and get fat if you wanted to.

You know what I really like? I just like printing stamps after the post office is closed. That's what I enjoy. That's my big thing. I know. I know it's just a little thing in life. It's just something that makes me smile. Anyways, what else?

What are we going to do? Oh Jesus, Bill, you're going to be a day late and you have nothing to fucking talk about. Okay, here we go. Here's some more hair metal stuff. New Rush album. And God knows Rush was the king of hair metal. You know? A lot of Rush fans won't, they won't admit to that, but they had that awful period.

Well, they were just teasing up their hair. Remember that? They had all the eyeliner and those monsters they brought out on stage was fucking horrible. Dude, they never fucking did yet, man. All right, Bill, you're always saying how Neil Pert is too mechanical of a drummer for your taste. I'm always saying he's a beast, but I just like, I don't hear any, I don't know. It just, it doesn't get me. All right.

So anyway, I got a lot of balls making fun of the guy. You know, I can play more with one hand than I could. With all four limbs and falling down a flight of stairs. Anyways, on the new album, the producer acting like a conductor during the recordings to help drive live emotion into his playing. The drum parts were not as planned. The album is really good and the guitar solos are amazing. Go fuck yourself.

Okay, I'll give a shot. You know, I'm just not, I was, I was never into, just never was into that band. Today's Tom Sawyer is the mean, mean guy. I just never got into that shit. Plus every time I would almost get into this shit, like just something else they would do that would annoy me. I was watching, I was reading some sports article one time and they interviewed Getty, Getty Lee and evidently he's a Blue J fan and they were playing the Red Sox and he

made fun of Red Sox fans and I was just, that was just a further fuck this guy. I don't know, dude, I like Bonham better. I like guys like Steve Jordan. They don't play nearly as much, but a lot of those guys, there's very few of those guys that got those giant fucking drum sets that are, that really blow me away. I actually, you know who I like is Simon Phillips. He sat in with the who on that tour I went to in 1989, you know, thinking I was seeing the who and then years later fucking Pete Townsend goes when they had a new tour.

Oh yeah, that, that last tour mate, that wasn't the who that, that was the who on ice. That always pissed me off. It's like, really? We didn't say that when I was buying the fucking tickets. You cunt. Why don't you go do some more research on child pornography? Oh Jesus, Bill. Um, but he's fucking was unreal on that.

And uh, I don't know, I just recently just came across one of his solos and it's not something if you're a younger drummer, you're going to enjoy it because you're going to find the beginnings boring as he builds his way up to it. But it's uh, I don't know, it has a beginning, middle and an end to the solo, which is I think really fucking hard to do on drums. And like I said, a lot of those guys where they got, who's that? Who's that other guy, uh, played with like dream theater? A lot of guys go nuts about him and Thomas Lang.

Like, uh, those guys are incredible fucking players. But after a while, I just, it's just everything's played at like 90 million miles an hour. And uh, it gets fucking, it all starts to sound the same. That's the thing about speed. After a while, it all fucking sounds to say, which is the genius of an Eddie Van Halen to me, because Eddie Van Halen could play that fast, yet still could give me the chills because he still had some sort of feeling and soul underneath it. And by the time the 80s came around, everybody learned to do his tap on shit.

And then it just became who can play it the fastest. And it was like an auctioneer playing a guitar after a while. And I just, I never fucking, the fucking, the fucking 20 minutes, wasn't that every solo in the fucking 80s, every concert you went to, they'd be like, and then they fucking slow it down. And then they look at the crowd and the crowd be like, and he's basically doing the same lick over and over and over again.

He was just speeding it up and slowing it down. And I think half the drum solos were the same thing. They'd slow it all the way down to just like, you know, hits on the snare drum. And then you'd stand up, put your fist in the air, and everyone would go nuts, and then you would sit down and you would just slowly speed it up again. And then somebody would come out, skipping around and fucking kick their foot in the air. And then again, they'd go back into the song, right? Oh, and the women dressed like whores. It was such a great fucking time.

It really was. And I got, you know, I really never thought that I would see girls dress more skanky than they did back then, you know, with the fucking ripped up pantyhose, fishnet shit. It was just, it was phenomenal with the flash dance influence. So the fucking thing was always falling off their shoulder, half a titty hanging out. It was just, it was phenomenal. And I don't know, going out and fucking San Jose, like the same, these girls, that's where to go with the fucking hooker shoes. It's phenomenal. But, uh, dude, we want to think about San Jose on Friday and Saturday nights. There is enough police presence there. It's like they're anticipating a fucking riot.

It's unreal. There's like, they, they have everything short of like the helmets in the shields. Like I don't know what the fuck happened. Every time I start thinking like, oh yeah, San Jose is not a bad fucking place. You come out there on a Friday or Saturday night. And there's like, there's like 40 cops on every block, it seems. Not in case something happens. It's a vibe is more when something happens. And you just feel like the later you're out, you just like, this is really fucking stupid. I need to go back in. I need to jump on that little electric train that only goes six blocks

and get back to my hotel. Hey, by the way, they had something out there called Juneteenth that I never heard of. Can somebody please explain to me somebody of African American heritage? What exactly that is? Somebody said that's when slaves were freed. Juneteenth. Why is it Juneteenth? Why isn't it like one specific day? Or did they fucking drag it out between June 13th and June 19th? You know, is one last little fuck you like, all right, we're going to free you sometime in the teens. Hey, Mr. White man, it's fucking June 13th. What do you say? Can I go now? Well, maybe tomorrow. Just trying to get another four or five days out of you. Is that what happened? I don't fucking know. All right, fantasy beer league.

Hey, Bill, you're starting a beer league hockey team and you can pick any NHL or past or present. The NHL hockey player wouldn't necessarily be in the prime of his career, but something close. Who do you pick? I think the inclination is to take someone like Mario Lemieux, but I think that get boring as shit after a while. Yeah, and you probably fucking get mad when I yanked on his jersey and threatened to retire. He goes, I think I'd go with someone like Rick Tocket. He can still dominate your league and you can imagine drinking beers with them afterwards. Exactly. You answered your own question. That's exactly what I would get. I get fucking. Who's that guy? Jesus, I'm so bad with the names. The second the season ends,

I can't remember anybody's name. Who's the fucking guy who's on the Rangers? He said that everybody gets my sloppy seconds. Somebody like him, somebody who can play and is funny. You know, I, you know, something, what about carcilla? I always thought carcilla could actually play. That guy can actually play the game, can score goals and he can beat the shit out of people, which he did. So, you know, he's got great fucking stories and he looks like he drinks. I would definitely pick somebody like that. The last thing I would do was get like a Sidney Crosby. You know, he just doesn't seem like he'd ever pass the puck.

And, you know, when I accidentally tripped him, if I ever got anywhere near him, because God knows I'd be like trying to get the puck, I would accidentally trip him. And, you know, if he didn't get the call or even he got the call, he'd just get up and would do that shit where he was shaking his head, but not looking at me with his fucking rosy lips. Yeah, I think maybe I go old school. You know, Rick Middleton was always a favor to mine. Nifty. Maybe him, maybe Jay Miller. Some old school tough guys. Bob Probert, God rest his soul if he was still around. I get guys like that. Maybe some goons or something like that. All right, I need some advice Bill.

Going for it. Going for it. Oh, Jesus. Here we go. Going for it. This is some guy from the 80s. He's going to go for it. That was one of the worst fucking expressions ever in the 80s. Do you remember that? And it bottomed out in that Rocky movie in Rocky III, or maybe that started at all when a club of Lang got in his face and was like, I'm going to bust you up. And then Rocky's like, go for it. And that was supposed to be like this big moment. Like he's not scared anymore. Go for it. That everybody in that part of the 80s, everybody in the early to mid eight and

for more like the early 80s and all those fucking movies, everybody dressed like they were on their way to win a Robics class. In fact, I think so it's the vest is still alone. Didn't he have on leg warmers during part of his workouts in those movies? I can't remember. Um, dear bill, dear bill, um, since I was 12 years old, I've been playing blues music professionally around the Colorado and, uh, front range area. What the fuck is the front range area? Is that Wyoming? Bomba data, bomba data. Um, I've made good money. What kind of gigs did you get in the front range area? Um, every year I play blues music on Hitler's birthday for this Aryan group slash meth lab in fucking Casper, Wyoming. Um, I've made good money and

lots of friends on the way this year. I even made it to the finals at the international blues challenge. Needless to say, I've been blessed so far in life. Yeah. And you must be a fucking beast if you can do that. He says not bad for a 16 year old. Go fuck yourself. You know, that's awesome for a 16 year old. Jesus Christ. I wasn't doing shit. All I was doing was flunking every class in high school and, um, I had my driver's license. I got my driver's license the second I turned 16. This, the second I was eligible and I took it on a, uh, I actually took my, uh, had the balls to take it with a stick shift. It was a 78 Chevette four speed. And the only reason why I say I had the balls, every car in my family, we always had stick shifts. I don't know why,

you know, it was funny. We had, we had manual transmission, but, uh, there wasn't a sports car to be found. Uh, anyways, here's my problem. Ever since I was eight years old and saw reservoir dogs, I wanted to write and direct movies. Now this isn't a choice between my two, two passions. I do plan on doing both for the rest of my life, but with the screenplay competition, I have little hope for, um, why do you have a little hope in a screenplay competition? They have shit like that, don't they? What are you saying? You're not good, good, good at it. I don't know. Bill, why don't you read the rest of it? You'll figure it out. Um, um, a screenplay competition I have little help hope for. Oh, I see. No, those do exist, dude. I don't know where they are, but

they do exist. I remember, uh, Matt Damon, uh, uh, uh, Ben Affleck had that project green light. They're there. There's always people doing stuff like that. I can't say always, but there is shit like that. Anyways, a dad that's recovering from a car accident. Sorry to hear that. And a mom working to keep our family in a home. I have no idea how to start making my first feature film. Now you're probably thinking you're 16. Um, no, I'm not. I'm thinking you're ahead of the game. This is good. Uh, but I have no money for the high school I go to anymore and being in the blues world for so long, I know that tomorrow I will wake up and be 43 wondering if I accomplished everything I wanted to, uh, being a 16 year old blue blues musician who's most likely isn't going

to get a high school diploma and wants to make movies. Jesus Christ, dude. First thing I'll tell you is you got to, you got to fucking, you got to put a little sunshine in your thoughts there. Uh, the youngster, um, stop listening to that fucking blues music making you just depressed. Why don't you listen to a little hair metal? It's happy. Um, anyways, I'm pretty lost. It's scary because I'm at that place where the things you do now affect your future. Any advice on how to keep positive as I try and become a filmmaker would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and sorry for writing so fucking much. Yeah, dude. Uh, first of all, you're acting like you're 86 and not 16. All right. You're 16. You're way ahead of the fucking game. All right. When I was 14, I was

going to go to Notre Dame and become a lawyer. By the time I was 16, I was thinking, well, maybe I'll learn a trade. All right. That's how quickly I fucking, you know, went off the rails. Now there's a bunch of people in trades. So what am I more on if I can't make a lamp? No, you're a fucking genius cause you can make a lamp. Um, or whatever the fuck that went. Um, this is how you, you know, you learn to make movies, dude. You just go ahead and you fucking make one. All right. This is the deal. You don't have any fucking money. All right. So you could make enough money like just playing music with a goddamn bucket in front of you in downtown Denver, save up and get an iPhone if you don't already have one. All right. You got an iPhone,

you can fucking shoot some video, then upload it on and just, you know, do it for nothing. Upload it on the computer or a friend's computer or whatever you're making the movie with. You just, that's the way to learn how to do shit. That's the advice I'll give you. Just go out and you do shit. And, uh, and then every time you think of negative thought that's saying, oh, I can't do this. You have to fucking mentally beat the shit out of that thought. And you have to really become conscious of as to what your brain is telling you, you know, because you seem like you're in, you're very early on. So I don't think it's going to be that deep of a groove, but your brain is like catastrophizing. Okay. Everything you're thinking of doing somehow it ends with

you slamming into a brick wall. All right. And if you think that way, you become paralyzed and you can't, you can't step forward, but you really, your heart wants to step forward, but you can't because your brain keeps fucking showing you that brick wall. So what's then going to happen is your fucking heart is going to be waking you up in the middle of the night, thinking thoughts like, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? And then you're, then, you know, you, you're going to start drinking and it's going to be, or whatever the fuck, something bad. It's not going to be good. It's not going to be good. Then you become miserable. And then you can see somebody young one day who isn't in their way and you're actually going to try to discourage them,

which is going to make you feel like a piece of shit. So the biggest thing I would work on is you just have to really, you have to be conscious of when your brain is telling you you can't do something. You're 16 fucking years old. Okay. You got the whole, your whole world, the whole fucking life in front of you. And, you know, you can start making a movie tomorrow. And this is the great thing, dude, you have just give yourself the permission to suck. It's your first one. It's supposed to suck. All right. I had no idea how to do stand up. I just signed up for an open mic and I went on fucking stage and I hung up for dear life. And you know what, I sucked and I sucked for a while, but every time I sucked a little bit less. And that's how you got to do it. And I had

all that negative shit going on in my head. And I bought those fucking books on how to think positive, which was hilarious with my negative mind is just as I'm reading it, wanting to absorb it, I'm also ripping it apart saying this is bullshit. But I don't know, unless you're like clinically depressed, just negative thought is just a habit you can get out of. And that's kind of what I found. And you just have to be conscious of it. And you know, it's really just a choice. You know, you just think a negative thought, you're like, All right, there's a negative thought. Step back, look at it and be like, Oh, do I want to fucking, you know, tie myself to that thing and have it pull me all the way down to the ground? Or am I going to say,

You know what, fuck that thought and think something positive. No, I'm going to make I'm going to I'm going to make a movie. What I would do if I was you was I would I would just be thinking about guys like Tarantino or Spike Lee or Kevin Smith, any of these guys who just were like, fuck it, I'm going to make a movie. And they just went out and did it. The next thing you know, that they they they had a career, those guys can do what you can do. That's just focus on them. You know, that's what I do. Fuck it. You know, I'm a balding redhead in this fucking business who has the nerve to try to go and audition for movies every week. Where the fuck do I get off doing that? Who wants to see that on screen? You know, but what do I think of people still want

to see Ed Harris? They don't care. So fucking, I'm going to look at Ed Harris. I'm not going to fucking be focusing on all these washboard middle full head of fucking hair run for president looking fucking jaws like I kill myself. Jesus Christ. Now I'm starting to depress me. That's what I would do. You want to make a movie? You go fucking make a movie. That's what you, that's what I would do. I don't know why you feel like you're not going to finish high school. You could do that. You know, you can do it. You know, there's got to be a way that you can get a high school diploma. What if you have to transfer? You got to fucking transfer to a new school that's cheaper. So what you come in all of a sudden you're the new guy. Hey, who the fuck is this guy?

Right? You come in like fucking Clint Eastwood all of a sudden you're getting blown by some chick because she thinks you're mysterious because you have a different area code. It can happen. Just, you know, I was going to say by a trench coat, but that's probably not good to do in Colorado is it? Oh, that was a bad one. Sorry. You know what I mean? Just you got to think positive. All right. If you keep thinking negative, that shit's going to happen. If you think positive and you do the work, that's the critical part. You'll be fine. And thus ends my little self help after school special here. All right. All right. Don't write to me. Don't don't keep thinking that shit. I want to hear from you in six months going, Hey, actually made the movie. Didn't come out that bad.

You're going to learn a bunch of shit. You know, believe me. And that's the kind of thing also that never ends. I'm still learning shit. Every time I go and tape a special, there's always something I fuck, you know, the first time when I did, why do I do this? It was the first time I was ever the guy calling the shots and I forgot to tell them that I needed a clock. I just assumed that it was going to be there and I went out and there was no clock. There was no way to tell how long I didn't know what time I went out and ended up being a little bit of a clusterfuck at the end of it. So then the next time I did a special, I had a fucking clock, you know, and, you know, I just did another special. I learned something on that. And I was like, what the fuck? When am I

going to have this thing down? There's always going to be obstacles. It's just, it's just basically how it is. All right. So there we go. Now, how about what do you say? I can find it a little bit of advertising at this point. Gamefly.com. Everybody, do you like playing video games? Well, good. I have a great website for you. Gamefly.com. Right now you can try the new Max Payne 3 Ghost Recon or the Special Ops game. That sounds like one that I would like. I love those games. You get to go around just killing people for as long as you want for the fraction of the cost of the game. Gamefly.com offers over 8,000 video games for PlayStation, Xbox, Wii, and now your PC. Do you realize how insane that is? Youngsters, please don't take that for granted. Do you know, like back

in the day when I was a kid, if you had an Atari and you had like 12 games, like people were jealous of you, 8,000 video games for PlayStation, Xbox, Wii, and now your PC. For my listeners only, you get free 15 days to disk offer. Just give it a try. And if you like it, you know, after 15 days, if you like it, you keep it. If you don't, you can cancel it. It's free. Everybody, free 15 days, 8,000 games for free. This is my whiskey voice here. You know, you can't beat that. Either you want it or you don't. Are they doing that down the car dealership? Hey, take this Corvette out for 15 days. At the end of 15 days, if you want to buy it, you can. If not, just bring it back. But until then, it's free, including the gas. They would never do that. That would be insane.

Well, they're doing it at Gamefly.com. So go to billbird.com, the podcast page. You click on the Gamefly banner or go to www.gamefly.com, slash for my, for a special, for a special my listeners. What? Come on, people, I can't read for love of God, at least write it correctly. Gamefly.com, slash for a special my listeners only free 15 day to disk trial. Yeah, that wasn't me. That was them. All right, did you guys understand that by the end of it? I was doing so well with that copy too, you know? All right, let's get the last one out of the way so I can just be a moron for the rest of this. Amazon.com, everybody. All right, do you go there? Do you buy stuff? Well, if you think of it going there, rather than going directly to Amazon.com,

once again, go to the podcast page on billbird.com and click on the Amazon banner and just, you know, buy whatever the hell you want. Not saying you got to buy anything, but if you want to buy something, if you go through my website to do it, they're going to kick me back a little bit of that money and 10% of that goes to help the wounded warriors project. So you'll be supporting my podcast and supporting the troops and it doesn't cost you any extra money on Amazon.com. All it does is wear out your index joint just a little bit more by having to click two more times. That's all it does. So maybe someday when you're 90 and you go to point at some kid, I should get off of my property and your finger locks, you can blame me. Okay. But until then you'll be, you'll be,

you'll be helping out my podcast. And more importantly, you'll be supporting the troops and I got to tell you, it's awesome. It's always been a great thing. You know, I've been, I've been able to send out a checks to the wounded warriors project, which makes me feel great. It's just a great cause. And I've been doing it just been rounding up to the nearest hundred anyways. And I'm actually thinking about giving, you know, even more than that. Okay, come on. How do you beat that project, you know? All right, that's it. All right, let's move on here. Advice, don't take shit from anybody? Question mark. Bill, sometimes you end your podcast with go fuck yourselves and go fuck yourselves and don't take shit from anyone. Well, let me tell you my story. Back in

November, a cop pulled me over, roughed me up, was a huge asshole and wrote up every rinky, dinky ticket he could. Now, okay, now wait a minute, what happened? You were just driving down the street and this guy just pulled you over. I need a little bit of the backstory here. Was this guy that, you know, did he get into a big fight with his wife and then took it out on you? Or did you say something wise to the guy and he said, all right, I'm not in the fucking mood. Anyways, let's see if we can figure it out here. At the end of the altercation, I shook his hand, looked him straight in the eyes and gave him that look that says, I will see you in court asshole. I showed up in court this Monday to defend myself. My plan was

to stand before that asshole and have him explain his actions to me in a court of law. Yeah, dude, this ain't going to work out unless you had a witness. I wanted to ask him, even then that doesn't work out. I wanted to ask him if twisting my arm so much that I couldn't use it for a few days was justified. I wanted to ask him why he decided that me five, six, 175 pounds was a threat to him, six foot to six foot three, 250 that he need to hit me from behind. Dude, call me an asshole, but I'm not 100% buying this story because you didn't say what happened before this. This guy just did this. Is this guy like the fucking worst cop ever? I don't know. Here we go. I wanted to, I wanted to know why he needed to demean me while I was

handcuffed in the back of the paddy wagon. I then wanted to ask him how many excessive force complaints he had against him. The answer is four. Oh shit. So I'm wrong here. I wanted to ask him how his marriage ended. His ex-wife has a restraining order against him for domestic violence. All right, I tap out. You're right. You're right. Sorry. I wanted to ask him what part of protect and serve did he not understand. I wanted to end the questioning with him explaining how he got caught on a cell phone camera assaulting a motorist. You can look up the video on YouTube under Milwaukee police Lambo driver LAMBO driver. Here's what sucks in Milwaukee. If the cop that wrote you the ticket doesn't show up in court, your case is dismissed and you don't have to pay anything. Well, guess,

guess why I told you that the piece of shit didn't show up in court. Ah, that's awful. I need advice. Do I let this all be water on the bridge or do I take this fucker down? I really want justice, but I don't want to be beaten by other cops. What should I do? Well, I think you just shed some light Milwaukee police Lambo driver. All my listeners will probably look up and watch that. No, this guy sounds like a dangerous guy. Look, you know, this is what I would do if I was going to try to take this dude down. What I would do is, you know what the local news loves doing now? They love showing like YouTube videos and they love talking about Twitter and all that type of stuff because they're desperately trying

to get the kids and people because they're losing all this viewership to the internet. So the fact that you have this controversial thing, you have this fucked up law and you have a YouTube video of this guy. That makes that's like one of those perfect little pieces, you know, coming up next. Milwaukee police officer, a little out of line. Check out the YouTube video that everybody's been talking about other than that. I mean, you could go that way. But yeah, I mean, you're taking a, you're definitely going to take a fucking risk. You know, Ronnie King died this week and that brought up that whole video and all that type of shit. And I know, you know, the guy just pulled over. That's what you're supposed to do. I know,

I mean, look, who's kidding? No, Ronnie King was going to get beat down no matter what. I mean, if you run from the fucking cops, I don't give a fuck who you are, you're going to get beat down. But if you get back up, you charge him a couple of times apps, the fucking lily. But you know, there's got to be a way to take a guide down without giving him 12 fucking skull fractures. You know what I'm saying? It's a fight. I don't know. It's a fight. It's it's it's a fucking thankless job. And then it's a really dangerous job if the wrong kind of person gets gets the job. Why did my phone just go off? That's right. I gotta do that shit. So I don't know, personally, I can't I can't ever watch that Ronnie King thing again. That's like

fucking the most brutal thing ever. And actually, when you watch that now, you go, thank God, they got fucking, what do you call those things? Taser? What are they? What are you clear? What do you call those things? What do they call those things that you they just they zap you? Did you guys ever see that one? That one where they the cop? What the fuck do you call those things? He got tased. He got fucking is it a taser? Cleo, why am I so dumb? Huh? Fucking love this dog. You know that Cleo? Underrated having a dog. It's the best fucking thing ever. Anyways, I got I got to get you this YouTube video now that I brought it up. It's

it's basically they're doing a demonstration of one of those fucking things, whatever the fuck you call them that I just can't think that why do I keep saying it's a taser? I know it's not a is it a taser? You got tased? And I can't fucking my brain is mush. So anyways, there's one cop going to zap another cop to the demonstrate it to the class. And look, man, I don't give a fuck how much of a man you are. You get fucking zapped with electricity. You're going to make a noise. Most guys go like they fucking go down. This guy fucking shoots it at the guy. And this dude sounds like he's like ending an opera. He gets tased. He's like just fucking drops. He does literally something like that.

And drops. And I just love how the cop who shoots him tries to act like he just didn't scream out like a little fucking girl, man, it's hilarious. But but getting back to that. Yeah, dude, that's that's a serious. That's a serious thing. And you know, if this guy really is as bad as you're saying, you know, the right thing is not to let it go. The right thing is to try and shed some light on it and hopefully that they can get this guy off the force, because he's given decent cops a bad name. There you go. So but your your worries are definitely you know, valid. I mean, considering none of those cops during the Rodney King, none of them got fucking they got they got off. You can get off doing that. I mean, Jesus Christ.

You know, that dude who shot that kid on that platform in Oakland, that was fucking brutal. He's like, Oh, I thought it was my thought it was my house keys. I didn't realize it was my gun. And he fucking got away with that. I'm not trashing cops. I'm just saying, not saying they're all fucking bad. But I'm just saying, I mean, it's a it's practically fucking impossible. It literally even if you have video, I think you have to have the combination of having video and then you have to be you have to be a certain level of wealth and influence. Because if you're broke, you know, I don't think that they're, you know, there's no way they're just gonna be like, Yeah, go fuck yourself, you're done, you know, and then when you add

racism into it, I mean, you're pretty much it's pretty much game set match, which is fucking unfortunate. So I don't know, I'm talking about society way beyond my fucking intellect. So I'm going to tap out here. I already trashed fucking hair metal and I'm gonna have fucking angry psycho cops mad at me. And then other people fucking think I don't know what the fuck okay response to having kids. My kid is turning me into a queer. Okay, hey, Bill, I listened to the latest podcast like I always do. I heard that you I heard you start to make a crack about having kids then catch yourself and and say, I hear it's I hear it's the greatest thing ever though. I'm a total hard ass. Attitude. Attitude wise at

least. Not a tough guy, bully piece of shit. Alright, so you're a ball, you're a ball breaking wise ass like me. So anyways, I'll make this short. So you can read something more interesting. I crack cunt jokes, listen to rock music and watch sports nonstop. But my newborn son is queering me up. If he gives me one more cute look or giggle, it will probably start a path to a wardrobe of visors, khaki shorts, braided leather belts, and penny loafers with no socks. I bet in a few years I'll probably raise the pitch of my voice. And at the end of every at the end of every question, I ask him, well, that's good. That gives me hope. You sound like an angry, walled off emotional psycho. And this kid's making you giggle. Honestly, sir, what was the last time you giggled?

You know, that's when you know you had a fucked up childhood is you actually legitimately giggle and then it makes you hate yourself. And then you actually even when you're by yourself, if you giggled, you actually get embarrassed. You literally to the point your face gets a little flush. Like that's how much shame you carry for actually having any sort of opinion, any sort of emotion that isn't just straight up go fuck yourself. Well, that's good, man, I'm happy for you. I hope I hope that happens to me someday. I hope I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, I don't know, mature enough at some point to ever have a kid dilemma. Bill, what would you choose to either have sex with any woman in the world? Nia wouldn't mind. I wouldn't care if she gave

a shit if I have my choice of any fucking woman in the world just to do it one time. That wouldn't be worth it. It wouldn't be worth it to lose Nia, but but my dick would override that wisdom in the moment or to have access to the truth about any government secret in history. What would you do? All right, well, how would I know any government secret in history? Would they know that I knew it and then they'd start tracking me down and then I'd have to be like fucking Jason Bourne for the rest of my life. Never getting to sleep more than five seconds between concussions. All right, first of all, if I could have sex with any woman in the world, who would it be?

Let's see here. Well, you got, okay, you got, you got your major groups. I think you have four major groups. You have famous, you have celebrity women. You have like celebrities like movie stars, then you have, you have rock star chicks, sports chicks, and then you got chicks from your past, you know, some teacher you always wanted to bang. Any woman in the world, you're going to go back, but she has to be as hot as she was. Oh, this is a dilemma. Oh, by the way, the other day I was at a comedy club in that that pink was that was actually in the crowd. And I didn't go up or anything. She walked by fucking absolutely like slump against the wall. Beautiful. Absolutely fucking gorgeous.

I'm telling you, some of those fucking like super famous people, like they don't even look real when they walk by you. They're just like that genetics, like I don't know what happened. But I'm just like, Jesus fucking Christ. You know, I mean, I knew she was good looking, right? I've seen the videos, but everybody looks good in videos, you know, and then half the time you see me fucking real life. I'll tell you this right now, if you ever see pink, she does not disappoint. Fucking just write down the checklist. Absolutely fucking gorgeous. You know, beautiful fucking dress that was sexy, but not slutty. She had the fucking tattoos, but not too many of them. Fucking just absolutely fucking gorgeous. I felt like I was in second grade.

You know, like when a beautiful girl walks by, you're like, you don't even know what to say. All right, so let's get back to it. So if I could bang any woman in the fucking world. Well, there's two kinds of women. There's the woman that you're fucking is absolutely gorgeous and makes you believe in an afterlife. And then there's the other girl you want to bang just to shut her the fuck up. You know what I mean? Like I bet there's a lot of liberals out there that want to just bang and culture, just stick that dick right in her fucking mouth. You know what I mean? But not like a totally malicious way. Just really put one on her where she's just fucking losing it and you know, making noises in bed that she didn't even know she could make

and you know, and make her be able to make those noises even though she knows that you voted for Obama, you know, there's that kind of fucking right. And then there's the other one where you just want to fucking, you know, run down the beach hand in hand with some girl. At least in my world, that's the only those are the only two. What would I do? You know what I would choose? I would choose sex with any woman in the world because that government learning a government secret, I've actually done that on a certain level. And it just it's like being in show business is when you're like, wouldn't it be cool to meet this person? And then you meet them and they're like the biggest fucking asshole ever. Or they I don't know. They just like they just do

something that just it just blows your whole fucking image. It's it's the Wizard of Oz thing where you don't want you don't want to peek around the corner. You don't want you don't want to peek around the corner. So what what I would do is I would definitely I would I would I would I would have sex with someone and you know what it would have to be somebody famous. And then out of respect for Nia, I would have to be just to shut them the fuck up kind of woman. Although I would love to run down the beach, you know, why can't I have that? Why can't I have happiness? All right, let's let's pick one. One of each. All right. Is there any girl I just want to just shut the fuck up? I would say back in the day it would have been Madonna, but like she

would just she was like beyond annoyed. She was so fucking annoying. She was like, I would just want to get out of the room. You know what I mean? Nia always watches that blonde ambition tour and there's nothing more nauseating than watching somebody who's surrounded by yes men. You know what I mean? They just completely fucking obnoxious. Everything they say, everyone's hanging all over every word and they just laughing at everything like that's you know something that's one thing that I have learned in this business is a major red flag is somebody who has an entourage. If you have an entourage like I don't know, I've already I automatically judge you as like all right this person is is not somebody I'm going to want to fucking be around because the only way I'm going

to be able to exist is this I assimilate into your entourage and when you tell the joke that isn't funny, I can't be like I can't look at you like that joke sucks. I have to fucking do like what they're doing. You know, laugh my ass off because you're paying for my hotel room the fuck out of here. Right? That and people who don't hang out with Pierce, you know, maybe they don't have an entourage, but everybody they hang out with is fucking like 10 years behind them in this business, then that's another that's another red flag, because then nobody's calling you out on your shit, right? That's that's how I look at it. How did I get to that with this shit? You know, I'm gonna have to get back to you on this one. You know, I'm a fucking 44 year old guy,

so I don't really sit, you know, when I was younger, I had my my I'll go back in the day my list. Okay, when I was a kid, the bionic woman, all three Charlie's angels. Farrah, I wanted to bang I had lust for her. Kate Jackson, I would marry and Jacqueline Smith, you know, which your fault for standing between the two of them. See, you're going down to but you know, I didn't need Jacqueline Smith, because I already had the brunette with with fucking Kate Jax. Then who else? Who else in the 80s? I like what's her face? The replacement for Shelley Long. I was in the look who's talking, she came on at that horse smoky, horsey fucking smoky voice,

whatever the fuck you supposed to say, it's supposed to sound way more sexy than that. She had nice fucking curves. Got a little out of control there after a while, but you know, she still has nice hips, I gotta tell you. Who else? You know, it's weird Florence Henderson when she had the worst mullet haircut always turned me on more than when she had that awful fucking Marsha Marsha Brady when she fucking had the little short skirts on fucking Janet Jackson when she was on different strokes. Who else? I just it goes on for fucking ever I just can't remember anymore.

There's never Cindy Lauper, I could tell you that. She just seemed like some spaz little fucking boy to me. Yeah, then that fucking haircut that she had was she fucking had like a tic-tac tow board on the side of her head that just really freaked me out. Not that I was totally against that haircut because I thought that chicken, wow, wow, wow, I thought she was hot. Who the fuck else? Did I like Lita Ford? Oh my god, did I like her? I think I might have. There's somebody back then. I can't fucking remember.

Anyways, is that the podcast? Can I end on possibly liking Lita Ford? All right, if you had to bang any of the runaways, who would you bang? I would have said Pat Benatar because she was the hottest, but just, you know, knowing that she didn't really want to do it, you know, that would be awful. Let me get tag team another chick with her. I don't fucking know. All right, listen, this is I got shit to do. This is the podcast for this week. I apologize for it being so damn late. Um, keep the emails coming and I'll keep doing the podcast.

I guarantee you next week's podcast, I will be doing Sunday night. So it's ready for Monday morning, even on the East Coast, just to make it up for you. This is my, I apologize that I beat you last night. All right. That's it. That's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you next week.