Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 6-25-18

Episode Date: June 25, 2018

Bill rambles about the great Vinnie Paul, music festivals, and hair transplant scars.

Hey what's going on, it's Bill Byrne, it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday. On June 25th, 2018, what's going on, how are ya? How you doing? How you doing with the summers here, right? We're in the 20s of June, somewhere along the lines the first day of summer. You know, back in the day you used to know it, right? Because there wasn't as many channels and you would watch the local news and they'd bring it up. Today is the first day of summer.

Tell us, Jack, what can people look forward to weather-wise? Well, I'll tell ya, Mike, we got a low pressure system coming in, so don't inflate those fucking above-ground pools. Yes, yeah. And then they'd laugh for no reason. Your weekend's gonna suck. Anyways, it's gotta be the summertime, right? The fucking sun's out. There you go, right there.

Global warming. What'd you do this weekend? I have a couple of Coors Light. That's this generation's Budweiser, right? Coors Light, they're crushing it, you know? Peyton Manning fucked up. You notice the second Peyton Manning fucking bought Budweiser? Now it's second place, you know?

He didn't buy it, he bought into it. The second he fucking got it, I bet he started pointing fingers at everybody. You know, we had some hop issues, right? And all of a sudden nobody's getting along over there. And Coors Light, now Coors Light's ahead, right? Tom Brady invested in Coors Light. Sorry, why would I do this? I like Peyton Manning.

Now that he's retired, you know, I could look back and be like, you know what, that fella was quite a quarterback. But when they're playing against your team, you hate him. It's stupid, you know? You don't hate them. You just hate them. It's weird. Anyways, the summer's here.

I am back from vacation. And I'm getting ready this weekend. Oh, freckles, shaking off the cobwebs. I'm going to be in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and Detroit, Michigan. Okay? A couple of Joe's six-pack towns, you know? They put their pets well-legged at that. Looking forward to that.

And so I'm going to be around LA doing a bunch of spots, shaking off the dust. I'm on the elliptical, working off the croissant. I never had any of those. You know, my wife's into those fucking things. I like the plain old, boring, white guy croissant. I don't need any flavor. Anyways, oh my god.

I don't want to talk about this early on, but I have to do out of respect. It's a sad, sad, sad, sad day. The passing of the great Vinnie Paul, drummer of obviously Pantera, damage plan and hell yeah. Good lord. What a loss. Can't even put it into words. And I was lucky enough to meet him.

He was a big comedy fan. And I remember the first time I met him, I was opening for the late, great Charlie Murphy. This is what happens when you get older. Like half your stories, just like half the people in them are like fucking dead. It sucks. But anyways, yeah, me, Charlie and Donnell were on tour and we did the Addison improv. And I remember that that was one of those shows.

One of the few times I ever, I went over without even realizing it. I always knew when I was going over, but I did like 40 minutes and I was supposed to do like 25. It just one of those, I just left there was talking and I don't know what happened. And Charlie was cool with it, but I was embarrassed because I never do that shit. And it's a real country thing to do and it's something, you know, it makes the headliners job more difficult because you ate up all of that extra time, wearing them out and all of that shit. So I do remember that from that weekend.

But one of those shows, it wasn't the show when I went over, but I was standing after the show, selling my CDs. This is how long ago this was. It was right around, it was 2004. His brother was still alive. And I was just standing there and I just looked up and he was standing right there. Vinnie fucking Paul and, you know, it wasn't like he was Vinnie Paul offstage. He just was Vinnie Paul.

He had the fucking cowboy hat on, you know, this shirt with flames on it and shit, these crazy cowboy boots. And he was just standing there with a big smile on his face. And I was just like, oh, I mean, this guy is like, the guy is selling the cover of Modern Drummer. I couldn't believe it. I was like, holy shit, you fucking Vinnie Paul. He just started laughing.

And, you know, it was super complimentary about the show and all that. And then he invited us out. He had his own club out there, gentlemen's club. And we all went out there and he was nice enough. I actually sat with him in his club for like 45 minutes, like a total drum nerd and asked him all of these questions about drum parts that he did and like who were the guys that he listened to. And, you know, I asked, I was like, you know, who do you think one of the underrated drummers out there?

And he was like, oh, Alex Van Halen, you know, and we went on and on about him. And it's kind of ironic because I really feel that Vinnie and Dimebag were the Eddie and Alex, I should say Alex and Eddie of their generation. And it just sucks, man. He was just such a nice guy. And then after that, he probably came out to two or three other shows and he always was smiling, always was just the greatest, nicest guy.

And it's, I don't know, one of the reasons why I never got into double bass playing was because so many people I just felt like once, like all their fills, everything was just their fucking feet and their hands stunk. And it didn't groove. It just was going nine zillion miles an hour. And, you know, it was impressive to look at, but it didn't give me the chills, didn't make me want to do it. And he was a guy that changed that.

And when I listened to him play, my younger brothers were into Pantera. Fucked up. I never saw him. I remember one of my brothers went to go see him was tell me how amazing the show is. But to be honest with you, like I just, you know, concerts were different back then. You could get fucked up at a concert and there was no cell phone footage. You just got fucked up and that was it. And there was like mosh pits like it just, it had changed. And I got a little bit older.

I was in my mid twenties basically when they came around and I had already started to and stand up and shit. And, you know, I remember going to a couple of, you know, concerts like AC DC and shit and people were doing blow and it was, you know, it was a little fucking, you know, there was, you had to be like a certain level of fucked up just so you could stay relaxed. So you could kind of navigate it. You know what I mean? You couldn't be sitting there looking fucking nervous.

And I would, you know, and that was just like AC DC, which was always like a fun show. So like, but this Pantera came in, it was a new level of aggression and anger, certainly, you know, with Phil singing. I had never heard anything like that. And, you know, just the way I was just, I just had this feeling in my house. I was too afraid. I was like, I'm not fucking going to go down there. My fucking orange hair trying to grow it out and it just gets bigger and bigger.

And it looked like Bernie from room 222 and there's a mosh pit. I'm going to get this, you know, how I always got over with people was making them laugh. And the show is going to be too fucking loud. So if they were just going to look at me the way I looked, I mean, I just felt like it wasn't going to go well. So I was a fan from afar and I really fucked up by not seeing those guys. And I remember when Vinny came down on the show, he said, Hey, you know, I got this, this new, this new band. I think it was, yeah, it was, it was damaged plan. He said, but play in New York.

And he said, he goes, he goes, I'll hook you up. I said, really? He said, dude, you can fucking stand right behind me while I play the whole show. And of course I had some fucking road gig when they came to town. I think Florentine went because I remember talking to him about it. And I was so fucking envious that he got to go and I didn't get to go. So I never saw him play live. You know, since doing that Dean Dell ratio where I had to learn how to play a butcher the song by trying to learn how to play that song by Motley Crue live wire, which had the double bass, you know, basic thing in there.

Since then, I've just kind of gotten addicted to it and I was listening to all of the Pantera stuff and a whole nother like level and you know, Cowboys from hell and fucking broken. And this love just loving the drum parts are just so fucking perfect in all of those. And I was just talking. I was talking to my drum teacher literally that day of how great Vinnie Paul was with his work in that band. And and then like fucking was so weird that night that all of a sudden I got that text. I couldn't fucking believe it and super sad. But I don't like the only good thing I could say is the got the mark that the guy left is he won't be forgotten. And obviously his brother hasn't been.

So anyways, that's my little my little point of view on truly one of the great artists that I ever heard or got to listen to whatever hang out with or anything. So so that sucks. And that's sad. So I don't know where the fuck to go from here. How do you turn it back to being funny? You know, can I talk about the Germans playing the Swedes in the fucking. Do they play Sweden? Is that what it was?

I buy the shirts for the same color as their flags. So I always fucked that up Sweden and Switzerland because I'm an American and we never they never taught us geography like that. And I remember one time I did a gig in Sweden. And I said, hey, it's great to be here in Switzerland. And they all laughed thinking I was joking. And I honestly fucked it up and I just rolled with it. I was like, hey, just fucking with you. They both start with SW.

But I did the whole thank you Cleveland, whatever the fuck it was. Spinal tap thing. I got to get back there. I haven't done. What would you call that Hitler's Ranch up there? Norway, Sweden and Finland. All those places when he used to look across the was at the Baltic Sea. I don't know what the fuck it is.

He just looked across that water there. Well, that's what people should look like. Yeah, frolicking in the grass. Anyways, although Sweden did, you know, they they they were noncommittal in World War two ended up being a great fucking move. Not socially. It wasn't a good move, but it was a great fucking move financially because just for the fact that they were still standing after World War two and never got bombed. You know, let the let the let the crowds fucking use their trains and go into Norway. They stood there.

Their fucking Applebee's was still open at the end of it, you know. So, I mean, I guess you can learn something from Sweden. When when shit is hitting the fan and you need to stand up and make a stand. Don't let other people do it. Just kind of sit back and see who wins it and carry on. Anyways, so the Swedes that play in Germany, right? I'm mostly German, so I usually root for Germany. Or I just root for an underdog like Iceland.

I mean, how you not fucking root for Iceland and, you know, Poland and shit like that? You know, I'm rooting for anybody other than the powerhouses that always seem to be in and I don't know shit about soccer. So this is what it's going to make it funny. But anyway, so I'm watching this fucking game and this Swedish dude, right? Yeah, he's on a fucking breakaway going. He's all alone. Right. And then this guy in the German team, a black dude, which is hilarious.

You know what I mean? I was always just sitting like, like how conflicted would Hitler be? Germany won. But what's that out there? He comes down and goes to not only went to like trip the guy, he also could like just pushed him from behind. And like a fucking referee in the WWE, somehow this guy didn't see it. I mean, I think it happened in the box in the painted area, whatever the fuck they call it in that sport. And I think that that should have just been one of those fucking penalty kicks where the goalie just dives and guesses one side.

But anyways, the Swedes ended up going up one, nothing. The Germans tied it up and then this guy, he did the old bended like Beckham. He did the old fucking roundabout there. I don't know how to talk about the sport, but I got to tell you something. I actually, I love making fun of soccer, but I have to watch it in order to make fun of it. And now having watched it, I'm actually, I kind of love it now. And I kind of understand the beauty of the game. Finally, I'm starting to get it.

And it is really cool that it is so hard to score that when it happens that people absolutely lose their fucking mind. So I am on board. I'm going to continue to make fun of it. I had it on in the background. And you know, I had like fucking two weeks of mail here that I was going through. And the amount of times that I just kept looking over at the TV because he announced to be like, everybody fucking. Oh, he's going to be sick. So I was sitting at the table going like, oh my God, something almost happened. That's what it just seemed like.

But it really is a great game. Gee, Bill, you really, you know, you mean the rest of the world is right, Bill. And you might be wrong on this one. But I missed it today. A good friend of mine wrote in, wrote in, sent me a text and I'm in podcast mode. She sent me a text message and asked me if I saw the England play today. I guess they played a great game. And I heard Mexico had a pretty scrappy game with the Koreans. I heard it was getting a little nasty there.

Like the Koreans were desperate like, we don't give a fuck, you know, we can't score unless we have the ball. And, you know, I guess Mexico's fast. That's what I know. And I promise you this week, I'm going to neglect all my responsibilities and I'm going to try to watch some of this shit. Because it is, it is fun. Once every four years, the entire world gets together to play for an actual world championship is pretty, that's pretty sick. You know, I just wish they could use their hands. You just see that one kind, he fucking jumped over the guy and accidentally kicked him in the face.

I mean, that's got to be like kicking a guy in the ground in the face in the realm of like losing your man card forever. Like who fuck, who does that with your shoes on? At least you can be barefoot. So maybe make your foot sting a little bit. I would be so disappointed if I had a fucking son and he ended up playing soccer. First of all, I'd be happy for his brain. But you know, if that's what he did, you're going to frolic down the field and jump in the air like some baby deer and then kick somebody in the face. No, the guy does, he takes out a yellow card.

I hate the way they take it out and the guy just stands up in front of the guy. Stupid thing up in the air like he's been on a fucking Shelby. Anyways, congratulations to anybody who won. I got to get into it. Sorry. I did watch the F1 finally. I was in town. I got to watch.

I watched the French GP. Congratulations to Louis Hamilton. Max Verstappen was fucking hilarious in the press conference afterwards because Vettel slammed into Botos. Max was going, you know, I think he needs, you guys should tell him he needs to adjust his style because they were given Max shit, you know, beginning of the year. I forget. He took out his own tee. He took out what's his face there. Daniel Ricardo and they gave him all this shit.

Does he need to adjust his style? All these fucking assholes who don't drive for a living. So he was trashing all of them going, you should tell Vettel. Yeah, you should tell him he needs to adjust his style and then he shouldn't adjust it at all the way. I didn't adjust my style. And now here I sit three races in a row, whatever on the fucking podium. You fucking cunts. Kimi Rake in it.

They kept bringing up. This is his 25th to 26th podium without winning a race. It's like, that's because fucking Lewis Hamilton wins every goddamn week. Okay. That's like giving somebody shit who played when Michael Jordan was at the height of his powers. He never got a ring. Nobody got a ring. You know, I got a ring.

Elijah won when fucking Jordan was playing basketball. And then when he was a little out of shape the next year. Other than that, everybody got shut the fuck down. All right, that's what happens. So what needs to happen is the next great driver has to come around. And also for what I little know about the sport is they got to fucking get with either Mercedes or Ferrari, basically Mercedes, it seems, to have the fastest car out there. Because I think what's this?

I think Daniel Ricardo is going to fucking, he's going to jump somewhere, right? That's what they're saying. But I like both those drives. Hey, now about the Yanks, huh? The Americans. What are we coming like six to seventh? We got some points in our gray cars, our overcast cars. What else did I do here?

Oh, I got back on my fucking diet. This has been tough. It's been tough to get back on the diet. I felt the kipes I fucking ate over in France, you know, had a couple of slip ups, but I'm back to the quinoa hitting the elliptical. Oh, God, the first two minutes are getting on the elliptical at my age. Jesus Christ. After that, I just kind of go numb and then it's fine.

I listen to my fucking songs and then it's over. But I finally got this shoulder thing beat. And I have, I think I have to join a gym though, because in order to rehab my shoulder where I can do pull ups again, I got to do those, those fucking lat pull downs with like 20 pounds and 30 and work my way up to my body weight. And then I can attempt to do like a pull up because what I did last time when I rehabbed it was I then got these like those helper bands, you know, that you stand on and make the pull up easier. I'm still, you know, trying to pull up, you know, 90, 100 pounds with the weight and I fucking jacked my shoulder again. So I got to do it. I don't want to do it. I got to go join a fucking gym.

So I got to find a local gym, not a fucking chain one because those are the ones they get your credit card and then you can't fucking get out of it. Every time I went to ballies, I joined ballies and it was like trying to fucking leave AOL. You just couldn't do it. They go, Oh, okay, send in $100 cancellation fee. And then I sent it in and then they go, Oh, yeah, but there's another. There's another gym within like a five mile radius. So you can't cancel like I was the fucking you just you just took $100 from me. I should have sued the fucking shit out of him and I didn't.

So I just didn't pay him. I just, you know, I did. I canceled the credit card. It was the only way out. And it was, it was quiet for months. I didn't hear from anybody. And then all of a sudden this collection agency called me up. You're like, yes, hi, is William Byrne there, please?

I'm like, this is he. They're like, hey, this is so and so from the so and so collection agency. We bought your debt from ballies total fitness and would like to discuss it with you. And I just just like, well, I don't know what the hell you did that for. You know, I didn't pay them. What, what the hell? Why would I pay you? I don't even know you.

You know, this is your business. You actually earn a living doing this shit buying debt that other people can't fucking collect. And then so she was like, you know, giving me shit telling me I had to collect. I'm not doing it. You know, I go, I have perfect credit. I've paid everything. Okay.

I really don't think that someday in the future, when I go to buy a house, they're like, you know what? We really want to let you know, give you a couple hundred thousand dollar loan here, but you owe $300 to a gym. And she's like, oh my God, you know what? We just had a client who just called us up and said, please, please, please, I have to pay off, you know, this $400 that I owe you because I'm trying to buy a house and they won't let me.

And I was like, wow, I go, that's incredible. That's almost the exact same scenario that I just presented to you. It's almost like you made it up, right? And then she got fucking mad at me and then I just started hitting on her. And she started saying it was harassment and I just, hey, how old are you? You know, you live around here. You know, you got a boyfriend or anything and she ended up, hey, she got so mad. She hung up on me.

You know, I'll probably get me to it over that. And ever since then, I've been afraid of the phone. Every time it rings, I shake. My cell phone's always on silent. Anyways, what do we got? 22 minutes in here. Is it time to fucking send? And you know what?

I got to admit, they just kept harassing me and harassing me. I just got sick of it. It was only 300 bucks, so I just fucking paid them. And I shouldn't have. There's a couple of people that I shouldn't have paid. And I did, but I just, I didn't like the stress. You know, I couldn't put it into perspective and I just got sick of them calling me. And I, you know, I had fun with them shit.

Hitting on them or saying that I got into some horrible accident. That was another big one that I just said. I don't know how many times I have to tell you I lost my leg in a car accident. What kind of people, oh my God, sir, I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, are you? This is like the third time. I'm literally sitting here right now with my stump elevated. So I don't bleed out because the sutures have come loose again.

And here you are harassing. It's just what you do. And then they would, you know, it was that thing. And I just ran out of ways to have fun with them. And then I think I just finally fucking paid him. Yeah, I've done that a couple of times. I had a fucking landlord that stole from my apartment or a manager stole from my father's on the road and I came back and I was on the road for three weeks.

I was on the road for so long when I came back, like most of the water had evaporated out of the toilet and they had to check the smoke alarm. So legally they could go into my apartment when I wasn't there without my consent because if there was a fire, it could affect the other units. That's what they said. And all of a sudden I noticed there was a camera missing. They had picked through my CDs. It was a hip hop fan.

And so I went down and I talked to the guy about it, thinking that the manager was going to be like, oh my God, sir, we got to get to the bottom of this. He just says, I don't appreciate you coming down and accusing me. And he started saying, I have the power. He kept saying, I have the power. So I was like, oh yeah, you got the power. All right, buddy. And I just stood outside the office and anytime anybody new came, I stood out there for two

hours. I was like, yeah, don't run from these people. They stole from my apartment and all that stuff. That's just like, dude, I'm a comedian. I can do this all day. I will be down here every single fucking day. And it was bullshit because the next day I went on the road and I just, I just didn't have it in me.

And I shouldn't have get, hey, hey, come on in here. The lovely Nia, everybody. Hello. We were going to, come here. Okay. What's going on? I was just talking to them about collection agencies and all of that type of stuff and all the crap I've gone through.

I haven't had a lot of that stuff, but you know, David, I did that time that woman called me up. I know it was ballet total fitness and they, and I just started hitting on her and she got mad at me. Said it was harassment. I ended up, I ended up getting her to hang up those up on me. That was like the highlight. What's the matter with you?

Oh, you do. All right. Well, I got another 35 minutes here. I'm just going to read some advertising and I got some great questions from people this week. All right. You want to go get some floss instead of just staring at me with your fingers in your mouth.

Oh, is that not sexy? You know what's sexy to me? You know what's sexy to me at my age, eight hours sleep. That, that turns me on. All right. Listen to me. I'd love to talk to you while you pick your teeth. I got to keep the momentum going here.

We have floss. You think you can get your fingers between your teeth? Get out of here. I got it. There you go. Tenacity. Are we going to go? Yeah.

All right. There we go. Jesus. They always want to go somewhere. You know what I mean? Only wants a fucking house and then you get a one and then all they want to do is leave. Yeah, boy. It's unfucking believable.

I, when is the, when is the guy me too thing going to fucking happen? You know what I mean? The reverse me too. You know, I take a lot of these feminists a little more seriously if they ever bitched about something that didn't affect their life. You know what I mean? You know what else we need to fix? Let me guess.

Something that affects you. The self centered fucking. All right. Let's, let's move on here. And then I'm going to tell you about this, this music festival I went to yesterday. Definitely feeling my age at a music festival. Just having to stand standing too long throws out my back at this point. I know it's my posture.

I don't need all you non doctors out there. Just save me your fucking remedies. All right. Oh, here's something from a friend of mine, a buddy of mine. He actually died a couple of years ago. And his widow is trying to finish a project that he started, which is a really great idea. It's called the, the untold legends of hip hop. And my buddy Pete coming, rest his soul.

He was out there interviewing all of these legends from the early days of rap music, Curtis blow, Russell Simmons, spliff star, did I say that right? And he, they would do these two minute little stories talking about the early days of hip hop and then they were animating it. And I saw some of the clips and it looked fucking incredible and they want to finish this thing. So they have a startup if you're a fan of hip hop music animation and all that stuff, just cool stuff. You like to learn about music the way I do. The website is halo boost. And the project is the untold legends of hip hop.

People go to halo boost and click on the featured project. And then you go to the untold legends of hip hop campaign, donate a dollar, whatever you can do to try to get this thing made. It's a really, really cool project. And from one of the great people that I've met in this business. I'll definitely retweet the link and all that type of stuff. So I appreciate it. You know, if you're, you know, if you're into it, I'm not, there's no pressure here. All right.

All right. Here we go. Butcher box everybody. Oh, these guys, these guys, these guys know what they're doing here. Butcher box delivers healthy 100% grass fed and grass finished beef free range, free range organic chicken. Look at them go and heritage breed pork, bread breed pork. The incredible quality of butcher box meat starts with the commitment of raising animals humanely before they kill them and free of antibiotics and hormones. I got to tell you something.

I cannot say enough about their heritage breed pork. You got to get it. All right. You got to do it to skill it. Sear it on both sides. Finish the finish of the other come out with a little fucking garlic butter bath. I don't give a fuck where your wife wants to go the next day. You're going to have a smile on your face.

Fucking delish. Each box comes with at least nine to 11 pounds of meat, which is enough for 24 individual sized meals. You can choose from five different box types. I swear to God, if this was around, there'd be, you know, back in the day that there would have been no Jeffrey Dahmer, all beef, beef and chicken, beef and pork, mixed pork, custom box. I'm just saying because there's so much of it, you know, I'm sorry, you know, I used that serial killer reference and I know they're going to give me shit about it. I was thinking 24 pounds of meat. Oh, no, 21 pounds of meat. I was just thinking like, you know, you double up the order.

You get one of those meat freezers in your fucking garage. You know, you know, there's armor getting people so they got all that meat. You know, everybody else is starving to death and you're just sitting there going like, yeah, I don't know when health's coming. And they're looking at you like, well, how come you're not getting skinny like us? Right. They're like, he's got food. But by then that two week and you got all that fucking heritage breed pork and you all that protein, you fucking knocked their asses out. Right.

I don't know. And then it's whenever you think of a giant meat freezer, you just always think of a, you know, you just think of somebody chopping up a body custom box. Let's you choose your own cuts, antibiotic slash home hormone free butcher box believes in a healthier food system where everyone has access to meats the way nature intended free. Of antibiotics and hormones and humanely raised on open pasture. I get it's fucking delicious. Butcher box carefully curates the finest selection and cuts. Oh, look at that one over there and makes it a breeze to customize your own delivery. Build your own box to exactly what you want.

Whatever you want or what your family will love. Choose your delivery frequency with customization customizable subscription recipes are available on the butcher box website. And videos are available to follow along on the butcher box YouTube channel, which is great. That's his personal experience. I told you, I already told you, I already told you, I love the fucking portrait anyways to receive free bacon for life. Plus $10 off your order. Go to butcher bought what free bacon for life. Go to butcher box.com.

They probably give you a thick slices hoping you can have a heart attack. So they're going to not keep you up in your fucking bacon for the next five decades. 10% off your order. Go to butcher box.com. Click on the big bacon banner on the homepage and use burr burr at checkout. Go now limited time offer. Holy shit. That's next level free bacon for life.

Tell me that's not going to be a home run. Me on these everybody. Oh, but do do do me on these me on these free bacon for your life. Do do do me on these me on these. It's just for you and not your wife. Tell that bitch to get her own. You're making some bacon now leave me alone. I want it fair and fucking square.

We got a bacon fucking prenup and my balls are feeling nice and soft in my nice tight. Greg Lou gain his pair of underwears. You definitely heard me talk about me on these. Hey, you guys heard me sing about it. You know, the fun comfy on these that feel as good as they look. To those of you who haven't tried them yet. Listen up. There's a reason your balls are crying because all the other balls are walking around bragging about it.

You can get incredible underwear sent to your door with me on these, meaning no more hunting around for perfect for a perfect pair at a crowded store and eventually settling for good enough. I guess these don't make my balls too itchy. Me on these are made with sustainably sourced material from beachwood trees. How they make their underwear out of trees. I have no idea. They're naturally soft fiber makes a fabric that won't sag, you know, leading your balls hanging there like the beginning of an action movie. Sylvester Stallone trying to reach down and grab them or they don't ride up, you know, like in some claustrophobic relationship. Where is this going?

My biological clock is ticking. He twisted my nuts there. Trust me. Once you put on a pair, you'll get it. Me on these is so sure you love the first pair that if you're not happy, well, fuck, they'll do whatever they can. Hey, guys, don't get, don't get desperate here. They can't get it right. Get you into the right pair.

And if they can't keep them and they'll refund you. So it really is risk free to tie your best underwear ever. And if you're already part of the me on these family, tell your friends about it to get there in their referral program. This is like Scientology, but with fucking your balls. They'll get a discount and you'll get a store credit. It's a win-win. Still not sure. Well, me on these has a deal for my listeners.

First time purchasers get 15% off their first pair of me on these in free shipping. That's 15% off. Okay. She didn't hear me two seconds ago, plus free shipping and a guarantee that you and your me on these will be happy together. I can't see my balls in any other underwear except me on these. Get your butt over to me on these.com and treat yourself. Balls singing to each other, right? Me and you and you and me. No matter how we're in the sec, we'll always see each other's fucking purple face.

What color are your balls? I always picture they were purple. I guess they're red, right? To get your 15% off your first pair of me shipping a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Go to me on these.com slash bird. That's me on these.com slash bird. I just realized how stupid that fucking song was me and you and you and me. Oh my God.

I got a lot of reads this week. I got a lot of singing to do here. Oh, dolly shave club, dude. If you ever shower or brush your teeth to try to make, try to make your hair look presentable. Here's some good news. Dollar Shave Club has a lot of stuff to help you out. Do you guys know how much money I save a year on shampoo because I shave my fucking head? Dollar Shave Club.

Yes. Yes. That Dolly Shave Club delivers everything you need to look, feel and smell your best. You name it. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste, hair gel, even a wipe that'll leave you a tush feeling tingly clean. You'll be a big fan of their amber and lavender calming body cleanser after the first time you use it.

You know those one wipe charries are basically the poor man's bidet. And having used a bidet, it's fucking, I mean, the fact that we still use toilet paper over here, it's, it's, you know, do you know why those Frenchies I have in all those menages toise over there? It's because their fucking assholes are so goddamn clean. It's what it is. Good luck finding a product like that at a store. All of Dollar Shave Club products are made with top shelf ingredients that won't break

your budget. Feel the difference plus shipping is included with your membership. And here's a great way to try a bunch of Dollar Shave Club products for just five bucks. You can get their daily essential starter set. It comes with body cleanser. One wipe charry. They're amazing butt wipes. They're world famous shave butter and their best razor, the six blade executive.

Shave a gorilla, six blades. Keep the blades coming for a few more bucks a month and add in shampoo, toothpaste or anything else you fucking need. Speaking of your next month, for a limited time only use the code burr at checkout to get $5 off your second month of the club. That's code burr at dollarshapeclub.com to save $5 on your second month. Join the club today. All right.

I got two more reads, but I'm going to give you guys a break. All right. Yesterday I went to a music festival. All right. I went to go see the pretenders. When I was in England, the great Chrissy Hyde came down with some of her friends, some of the band members and stuff that came down to my show. That's the second time she's come to one of my shows over there.

So I was like, next time you come to the US, I'm going to your show. You got me. I'm going. And she said, cool, guess what? I'm going to be there a few days after you come back. So I was like, all right, done. Done deal. So I figured they're going to be playing like some theater or some shit out here.

You know, I'm an old band. I'll sit down in a seat. I'm going to be playing myself a sasparilla that be once in a while, stand up and wave my fist and feel like I've contributed as an audience member. But no, they were doing a music festival and I get the email from her manager and there's a map and it's to the Rose Bowl. I'm like, holy shit. Who the fuck is on this bill?

And it was, it was Neil Young, Jack White, the pretenders, the Smiths and a bunch of other people that I'm sure I missed and that were fucking amazing. Right. So I'm like, wow, this is going to be, I never saw a concert at the fucking Rose Bowl. This is going to be amazing. So, you know, I walk in there, I walked right where it's, you know, the Rose Bowl logo. I'm having all of these flashbacks of how many times I've been there hammered going to the Rose Bowl game kind of struck me as funny to be walking the golf course.

It's a big golf course outside the stadium, by the way, finally doing it sober. So I'm walking in there. And the first thing I try to go into the main entrance into the, uh, the Rose Bowl stadium. They're like, no, no, no, you got to go around. You got to go around. And I'm like, of course you got to go around. They always make you go the longest fucking possible way. Why do I got to go around?

Why the fuck do I got to do that? You fucking assholes. And then I go in there and then we got to make a left turn and then a right. Now I'm going to cut across the bridge. The stadium is right fucking there. And I go to go cross bridge. I'm sorry, sir. This is one way.

It's one way for walking. Are you worried there's going to be a head on collision? Where the fuck do I have to go? You got to go up there. And I'm losing my shit. And then I'm looking around and there's all these tents and all this shit. And all of a sudden it finally fucking dawns on me that the concert is not in the Rose Bowl. It's all over this giant golf course.

So the whole time I'm trying to go in the stadium. There's nothing going on in the stadium. Fucking moron, right? And also I'm trying to keep my cool because somebody told me the other day, Dude, you do not handle stress well. And that of course hurt my ego. I'm like, what are you talking about? I don't handle stress well.

I'm a stand up comedian. I performed at Madison Square Garden. I dealt with doing five minutes of stand up on the Dave Letterman show when it was like 30 below with the air conditioner. Okay. One of the most intimidating things ever. And I was able to set aside that fucking stress and get through it. And then the person's like, all right, all right, geez, you know, I'm just saying, you know. And then I realized it's like, you know, thinking about it the next day,

actually snapping again over something fucking stupid that of course five minutes later, I figured out probably three minutes later. I actually realized that this person was right. That I, it's not, I don't handle inconvenience well. And then I turned it into like what's going on in Hawaii right now with the lava pouring out and all this shit. So I don't know. I've done this so many times the last couple of days, you know, except for at the festival when they I was doing well with the stress until they told me the bridge where people were walking was one way. You know, I just, I mean, if I even say that one more time, you guys, I'm going to lose my shit again.

So anyways, I drove in traffic yesterday. I was completely relaxed, but I've done this a million fucking times a million times is somebody says something to me about it. It makes me want to change. And then for two, three days, I'm okay. And then gradually I just go back to the way I was, you know, flipping the fuck out. So I think I want to start talking about it on the podcast. The way I do with my boozing because I keeps my boozing and check to tell you guys if I'm on the wagon, I'm off or whatever. And then you guys give me shit a Billy booze bag a Billy fucking fat tits and all that shit.

It makes me all right. Fuck these people. I'm going back to crushing waters. So anyways, I finally figured out that this festival is outside. And now, you know, I don't know where the fuck I'm going and the pretenders are going to be on. They were on in the afternoon 525, right? Right at dusk. Well, it should have been dusk.

Different time of year would have been dusk, right? And I was looking like, what the fuck do I do here? I got to get some booze, right? So, you know, they're doing these little fucking, you know, they're not poor at home poor. So I got like two whiskies and I'm walking in my stupid little cup, right? And I see this fucking guy even older than me. He must have been like 63. He's actually still in pretty good shape, but he had the long gray hair.

He had his shirt off, you know, just that guy has been going to concerts forever, you know. And the pretenders start up and I'm trying to find where the, you know, the best place where I can watch it. And he starts doing like that, you know, like that, that fucking hippie surfer spiritual white guy dancing. You know, there's a touch of Tai Chi in there, you know, he's doing that fucking dance. And you know, it's the same dance he does to all music. I don't even know what it is. And they always have like this look on their face. When you look in this smiling, they always look at you like they have life figured out.

Like they know what, what makes they like, hey, man, like, you know, they're going to say all this spiritual bullshit to you that you could find on the side of a fucking Dixie cup, you know. And whoever that guy is, I want to thank him. I fucking was laughing my ass off. Just a fact. He had his shirt off. I got to sit. He was still doing that.

I got a minute. He was still doing the push-up so he didn't have the man booze, but still it's like, come on, man. There's young people here. They don't want to see that. Cover yourself up. This whole fucking pride in your age and everything, you know, or how you look is all well and good. But you know, you know what has kind of disappeared is common fucking courtesy for your fellow man. Good Lord, you know, I just blows my mind.

It really doesn't. It doesn't. Because you know what? I think that guy was a baby boomer. You know, and there's never, you know, you know, right before the baby boomer. Sorry, I got to plug my headphones back in right before the baby boomers was the greatest generation. According to Tom Broca, they're the greatest generation. Like I think the baby boomers are like the most selfish.

Like maybe because there's so many of them that they had such an influence on the culture and they think every fucking thing that happened during their time was just so goddamn important. They're just, I don't know. I think, and I think that they were just so up their own ass about themselves that now that they're old and all wrinkly, they just can't, they can't, they just can't let it go. You know, I mean, I'm not going to lie to you, I'm fighting aging by trying to work out and stay in shape and eat right and all that type of stuff. But yeah, I stay covered up. I have empathy for people in their 20s. They don't want to see it. So anyways, I go by the spiritual dancing guy and I worm my way up as close to the stage as I possibly can.

And I have to tell you something, man. Chrissy Hyde and the pretendist fucking murdered. She sounded like she's once again two weeks in a row. I've seen great concerts. She sounded as great as the albums that I grew up listening to. And the song she opened with was on her new album. It was just about being a loner and liking not being in a relationship and shit. And the lyrics are hilarious.

And I'm almost a little ashamed at like how much I relate to the song. I told her afterwards, I was like, I fucking love that song. But they just fucking murdered. And she's such a badass total rock star, like the real deal, paid her dues, all that shit. You just see all of that when you watch her perform. It was tremendous. And she gets off stage and then next up was Jack White. Jack fucking white, right?

I get to see him come out with this new lineup, the new sound that he has. He was fucking unbelievable. You know, there's another guy, if you go see him, it's like, when have you ever seen that guy even remotely take a show? Like half a second off during a show, forget about a show. That guy never is the antithesis of phoning it in. Whenever I see that guy perform live, I always get inspired as a comedian. Like, I could be working a little harder. I could be trying to give people a better show here.

So his set ended and I walked over to go see the Smiths who I remember my one of my brothers listened to them. Everybody I knew listened to better music than I listened to in the 80s. I just was listening to, like, I mean, I listened to some good shit, but I was listening to a lot of fucking hair metal, you know, which is why I missed out on Pantera and fucking all those bands that came out. Like I was, I was, I was too far in the other direction, like every rose has its door, you know, then all of a sudden I was like, people equal shit, right? I'm just like, what the fuck is this? This is, you know, I'm as cynical as the next guy. But Jesus Christ, that's another thing.

I started listening to that Iowa album that slipped, not shit. And like, I always liked the, the heretic thing. People equal shit. I was, I was kind of funny, but I never like, I don't know, it was just too much going on. And now I'm listening to a fucking 20 years after it came out going like this fucking album is unbelievable. But I mean, you know, there's only so much fucking music. You're going to miss something, right? I got to forget myself on some level.

So anyways, I went over and I saw the Smiths and I remember there one that one song that crossed over that even like a fucking mainstream Charlie, like me, heard where it was that stopped the mess, you know, wrap up, stop it, stop it, your future, right? Anyways, I watched those guys, that band fucking murdered and did the impossible. I felt it had like 10,000 white people all dancing for their entire fucking set. It was ridiculous how hard they killed. And then they ended this diss set in such a cool way. They had this crowd do a sing-along. And as the band started playing a little more quiet, a little more quiet, a little more quiet.

And the lead singer was like roasting people in the crowd go great job, great job. You don't sound that good. You sound like you got bronchitis. And everybody's laughing. And then the band just sort of just gradually stopped playing and the crowd one more time sang. Or is it the chorus? And then they said, thanks a lot. Good night. It was so fucking cool.

And then Neil Young starts playing. I got to walk across the golf course again and my back was fucking killing me. And I was jet lagged and all of that shit. And I just, I hate to say this. I've never seen Neil Young in concert. I just couldn't make it. You know, and I had to get home, you know, I got a kid's getting up and shit. And it's just like, I don't want to fucking see Neil Young standing outside with my back fucking, you know, talking to me next to some fucking 60 year old guy doing his tai chi fucking hey man dance.

I want to see this guy in a theater. So I stood there and I watched him play one song. So I could say, or at least most of the first song, he didn't even sing. It was just like him playing guitar and shit. I think his experience was like, all right, I got to get all those people that were just over at the Smith's time to come over. I'm sure people's feet hurt and their backs hurt. I mean, he's probably doing me a favor. But I just, you know, I don't know.

I just said to my friends, I was like, guys, I got, I got to go home. I can't. And I Ubered here and there's just going to be a thousand fucking people to and I just know how I'm wired. I have to find that one way bridge that's going to allow me to get the fuck out of here. And I actually left during one of my favorite singers of all time during his fucking set. But anyways, it's a great show and all that. If you're younger, definitely check it out. If you're older, definitely stretch, you know, try to keep your shirt on.

I saw these two people, oh my God, these two fucking whales, these two fat people, like one of those fat couples, and they were just asleep on their picnic blanket. Like both in like the spooning position, but faced opposite. It was like a fat yin yang. They were just laying there. You know what they look like, you know, like at the zoo when they tranquilized like a one of those big cats, those predators. And then it's just like, all right, now that we knocked it out, we need to bring a fucking machine over here to pick this thing up. It weighs like 600 fucking pounds. And I don't know, they were they were oddly adorable.

Like I was being like, it must be fun. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like those commercials come out and you see like Domino's or like Papa Geno's will have like a fucking some deal like get two pizzas for seven bucks. And if you get that, we'll throw in the fucking chocolate chip cookie pie with the whipped cream and ice cream. Right. And I always make fun of that shit. And I always make fun of it because there's a big part of me that just wants to order that and take the ride. You know, have the salt fucking take me down to the ground, right? And I think I'm going to fucking, you know, sink into the rug like that dude in train spotting.

Then you start eating the fucking cookie pie and you start coming back like Hulk Hogan, you know, when they went to drop his hand that last time and it didn't go down. And all of a sudden you eat the cookie thing and you start shaking your head. You start strutting around, right? But you don't. You don't. And they get they get to live that life. They get to sit there like, I bet they got one of those, you know, those, you know, those big fucking couches that on either side, there's the recliner, but it's still like a sofa. I bet they got one of those, right?

And then in the middle, it thing comes down. Remember that it was basically it was a fat fuck couch. They used to make this thing before like the biggest loser and everything came out. It was like catering for people who were fat fucks or were their goal in life was to become a fat fuck because on either side of this big couch, like you could pull a lever and your feet could go up. And then in the middle, this thing would come down. There was a place for your drinks and like a fucking pizza. And you just sit there with your girlfriend, you know, watching the TV with your feet up, got the AC cranking, just destroy like just destroying the fucking planet in your absolute like utopia. I mean, I don't know if you guys believe in an afterlife, which I thought about a lot when Vinny passed.

You know, there was all that talk about now he's reunited reunited with his brother and I was definitely thinking, you know, I really hope that that happens. You know, so let's say that it does. Okay. If you're a fat couple and you have one of those couches, and you're watching one of your favorite shows on Netflix or Hulu, whatever the fuck you do, and you're sitting there with your feet reclined. Eating a pizza and you got that cookie fucking pizza thing coming next, drinking your favorite drink. It's just like, what could the afterlife offer you? That's going to be any better than that. If you truly love one another, you know, when you got the AC going, you know, you got your toes out.

I mean, I don't know. I think I'm selling a lifestyle right now here. I think I'm selling some couches. Anyways, but I had a great time and if you get a chance, you know, like I said, definitely check out that festival and I feel really bad that I had to leave. I left during Neil Young. The fuck is wrong with me. I have to, I have to fix that in the future by seeing him. But like, you know, I want to see that guy like, did you ever see when he did that film?

He was at the Ryman. That's what you want to see fucking Neil Young. Yeah, you see him at this. I'm not trying to not sell this festival, but I'm just saying, look, I'm old. I need a chair. Okay. There I said it. All right.

I used to be able to stand evidently. I can't any longer. I was able to kind of work my way out of it. I know it's, it's my fucking posture posture stinks. You know, it's all those years of fucking hate yourself, you know, fucking slinking down. I mean, I'll buy it. No, stop looking at me. All right.

Indochino, Indochino, talk about how every man looks better in a suit. Well, you know, when I'm out there trolling for cock, you know, it's just like, you know, it's just like, I hate to be picky, but guys, the sweatpants and the lazy look isn't doing it for me. All right. If I'm going to give it up, I want a nice meal. Okay. So when a guy in a suit comes along, Indochino is the world's largest made to men's wear

company and has featured in many publications, including GQ Forbes and fast company. Fast company sounds like a bad sitcom. They're old, but they're still fucking snappy. They make suits and shirts made to your exact measurements for a great fit. Guys love the whole wide selection of high quality fabrics and the option to personalize all details, including your lapel lining and monogram. All that's, that's, that was, that was the side of a badass dude when I was a kid. If you had your initials on your sleeve of your suit, you know, had a company car, you

know, came home, your wife looked at the ground. Run and shit. That made that, that was success. Here's how it looks. Oh, it works. All right. Visit a showroom or shop online at Indochino.com, pick your fabric, choose your customizations, submit your measurements, wait for your custom suit to arrive in just a few weeks.

This week, my listeners can get any Primo Indochino suit for just $379. That's Indochino.com, I-N-D-O-C-H-I-N-O. It's like China, but with an O. And it's like India with an O, right? No, it isn't. It's like Indonesia, but you don't say the Niger part. And it's like China with an O. When entering Burr at checkout, that's 50% off the regular price for a made to measure premium suit.

How many times are you going to say made to measure? Isn't it made to measurement? Plus shipping is free. That's Indochino.com promo code Burr for any premium suit for just $379 and free shipping. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off the rack ever could. And it gives you incentive to stay in shape. Once you submit it, it's like you can't get fatter. I got to maintain.

Stamps.com, everybody. The U.S. Postal Service is an important tool for any business. Stamps.com is the easiest way to access all the amazing services of the post office. Stamps.com never closes. Print postage for any letters or packages at your convenience 24 seven print postage for any mail class right from your own computer. The exact amount of postage every time never underpay or overpay again. Stamps.com saves you time and money. There you go.

Which you can use to grow your business by and print official U.S. Postage for any letter, any package, any class of mail using your own computer and printer. They'll send you a digital scale that automatically calculates the exact postage. Stamps.com will even help you decide the best class of mail based on your needs. No need to lease the inexpensive postage meter and there are no long term commitments. I use Stamps.com. I'm going to use them this weekend. Hopefully my posters get back from Ireland to fucking send these things to Minneapolis and Detroit. My exclusive.

Tour posters 50 for my age. Not my effort. All right. I'm going to give you 100% effort at 50 years of age and you can only get them if you go out to the show because I'm not shipping them out again dealing with Hey man. Like I fucking ain't fucking ain't can't find it. Right now you two can enjoy the Stamps.com service with a special order that includes a four week trial plus postage and a digital scale. Go to Stamps.com. Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in Burr that Stamps.com enter Burr.

All right. I got some great emails this week. The first one. Vinnie Paul. Hey Bill. By now I'm sure that you heard that Vinnie Paul passed away last Friday. Much like you talked about Malcolm Young after his death. I feel like Vinnie was another one who just lived an amazing life.

One of the great drummers to ever get behind the kid. I got to tell you like everything that I saw off on Twitter from all these big time rock stars over and over and over again. Other than stating the obvious what a monster amazing drummer he was. Everybody just talked about what a nice guy he was. Anyways he said I was too young when Pantera was leaving their mark on the metal scene through the 90s. So I never got to see Pantera play live before they disbanded. However I did get to see Vinnie play with hell yeah back in the day back in 2016 at Rockville Festival in Jacksonville Florida. He was quite simply incredible.

Oh this is a cool story. I read this before the podcast. Something I never do but I saw it said Vinnie Paul so I wanted to read it. I said I remember being pretty close to the front of the stage and Vinnie was the first band member to come out before the show started. When he stood up behind the drum kit he had this smile on his face like he was just really happy to be there. He twirled his drumstick at the whole crowd saluted by putting his fist in the air and then the madness began. But for most of the show I couldn't take my eyes off of him because of how good he was. Oh that's awesome.

And even though he was that good the biggest memory I have of him was that he was smiling the whole show like he just loved playing and seeing people enjoy themselves as much as he was. He will be missed by more. He will be missed by more than we know. I don't know if that sentence makes sense. If you remember please crank a Pantera song up as loud as you can today. I'm sure Vinnie will hear it. Best Witches. Hey Best Witches incompetent it said.

Well I was already listening to the fucking shit every day anyways. You know what you know it's a great album. Great live album is there. 101 proof. Such a badass album. One of my favorite things is when they play I'm broken. As Phil's doing the intro Vinnie is already counting in the song just how tight they were. Well I saw you the knots called I'm broken.

I'm having a good time. All right Coco the gorilla. Oh I saw this too. That fucking sweetheart of a gorilla that I did the bit about. Hey Bill I saw you live last year and I love you special. We talk about teaching gorilla sign language. I was watching clips of Coco interacting with people like with Flea from the Chili Peppers and Robin Williams. I watched those.

I was still nervous. I just saw Flea laying down and there's like a fucking gorilla right next to him. I don't know I get you shooting the shit with it. You can kind of I don't know. It made me nervous you know. I wonder if it made me nervous just because I'm such a big fan of Flea and I didn't want to see anything happen to him. Like it was a bass player from a band I didn't give a shit about. And they go look at this guy.

This could get interesting. Anyways it was it was charming as hell. I was wondering if you ever sat down with Coco if ever given a chance. Well no not after the bit I did. Probably this guy's a fucking asshole. You could have asked him why the chicken crossed the road and wait for a chuckle or try to explain humor to him. If I ever sat down with that gorilla I in that thing actually if that wasn't a party trick if it actually knew how to do sign language I imagine it would sign to me. You seem nervous.

And I would have signed back. Yeah well you're a fucking gorilla. Anyways kids show recommendation. Hey there Billy barnacle balls. I want to I want if you want a show to watch with your girlfriend check out. I thought I said octo nuts like something with eight balls octo nuts. Is it an octopus in outer space. I watched it with my girls and kids and I actually learned some stuff.

All right well that was about as vague as the movie way back in the game. The silent game or the something game or the something or other. I remember David Spade had that joke. I'm going to tell you guys the secret of the crying game. And he goes overrated. Hair transplant depression. Oh no. Hey old freckled dick.

I'm a 21 year old man. I recently got hair transplant surgery. You must be a hairy motherfucker man. You went bald that soon. The surgery went great. Good. Good for you. But I now hate that I have a huge scar on the back of my head.

Don't they do it now or they just vacuum the shit out so you don't have to have that smile on the back of your head. He goes every time I cut my hair you can see it. Could you give me some advice on what I should do. Well yeah don't cut your hair so fucking short. Now that you got it back on top of your head grow your hair out you'll be fine. That was an easy one. What are you doing you got hair plugs. You had them hack the back of your head then you got fucking hair plugs.

Maybe you're shaving your head down to the point where you can fucking see it anyways. What was the point. I don't know. I would just I guess I would just grow my hair out a little bit. I don't think it has to be that long to cover the scar. As long as it's long enough that you can't see your scalp. I think you should be all right. Right.

Anyways pit bull problems. Oh dear. Oh Billy easy shave butter. Oh facility's face. Right. No that's easy facility's easy. I don't know. I have no idea.

I suck at that shit. As a former pit bull owner I'd like to ask your advice on a problem I'm having. My wife comes home from a my wife comes from a large family and they get together at her parents every month for Sunday dinner and family hangouts. The last two times my brother-in-law has brought his recently adopted his recently adopted pit bull. It's a rescue dog and he doesn't think it was abused or used to fight because it's so good with kids according to him. It's a large family so there there are about 15 kids ages 3 to 11 running around and my four year old daughter is one of them. She loves dogs and likes this one in particular but both times he's brought my the dog. My daughter has come running to me in tears because it got over excited and jumped onto her too rough.

Well that's the thing about pitties man. They're just a big fucking awesome ball of muscle. And when I used to wrestle with my dog I used to have to lay my neck over the top of its neck. He had to get inside because she was lightning quick and she would turn around and her head was like a wrecking ball. God I miss that fucking dog. I still get to see her every couple months but I really miss that. Anyways he goes I don't hate dogs but I don't love them either and I don't trust pit bulls. Well you have to validate all of that.

Okay to be quite honest I'm kind of afraid of them. I never forget myself as something happened to my daughter. If I say something to my in-laws I look like a killjoy asshole but I'm too stressed out to enjoy the family gathering because I'm hovering over it constantly. So my wife's response has been to treat me like I'm overreacting and dismiss my concerns. It's bothering me so much I've considered just keeping my daughter home next time. But am I making too big a deal about this? I think it's a recipe for disaster. I don't feel like it's my place to tell my brother-in-law to keep it at home and my wife's not supporting me.

Please tell me, please let me know if you have any ideas. Merci. What a fair forture. Thank you and I imagine that saying go fuck yourself. I know advice and go to his you fair forture. Anyways I would say this dude you have to like if that's what you're feeling you don't have to tell anybody to leave a dog home. You just have to communicate this to people. Say you don't hate dogs you don't love them either and I don't trust pit bulls.

Okay and just tell them that. Rather than be like keep that fucking little take dog home just tell them that. Alright and I would sit down with your wife and say that you know I don't feel like you're hearing me. Alright she's my daughter and I'm concerned and I have to be honest you know if you had these concerns. I would listen to them and you're not validating what I'm feeling. And it's really bothering me and I can't enjoy when I go over there. I don't want to be this killjoy but I'm hovering over our kid and I just you know it's bothering me. You married me you love me I'm telling you something's bothering me we need to talk.

You can't go there because I'm in your fucking talk to me about this that's what I would do. Keep it in the register I was just in. Alright and don't stop having the conversation until there's a solution that you're satisfied with. It's your daughter. Okay and you know dogs are abused. Alright and if a dog snaps you know it's a bad thing around a kid and then when you have a pit bull the thing about a pit bull is its capability. You know what I mean? Some dogs are like a little water pistol and other dogs are like a fucking bazooka.

That dog is a bazooka. So not saying the breed is bad. I'm just saying if somebody fucked that dog up and it does snap the results are you know going to be really bad. So and you have to address that. That's being or you're being a responsible parent and these people need to listen to you and you need to speak up. You got to stand up for yourself there buddy boy. That's my advice. Alright good luck.

Okay lady manager crossing the line. Dear Bill or William. Buh-la-wuh. Get close up. Buh-la-wuh. Buh-la-wuh. I'm a 23 year old lady who just started working in an office. I love when women write in.

It's always guys. God bless you for writing it. Who just started working in an office for a big company. It's a boring job but while I figure out what to do with my life after graduating it's alright. Well there you go. That's not bad. You're 23. You got your whole life ahead of you.

I got promoted with the recommendation from my former manager. This 40-something year old woman who I thought was quite nice. Now that she's not my manager anymore although she's still senior to me she has been a little inappropriate with me. After an office Christmas party me and my colleagues went to a club. I came out of the club bathrooms and she was waiting. She didn't even come with us. That's weird. She waved me over to sit next to her and asked me if I was gay.

I said no I'm not and she went fine and didn't speak to me for the rest of the night. Alright well she needs a better opening line. She's a little blunt. You know she's in business. She got right down to brass tacks. She said I was a bit uncomfortable with the question because what business is it of hers. Oh I thought she was gay and she wanted to hook up with you. Because what business is it of hers so I told one of my work pals what had happened.

They had been at the company longer than me and went wow you're her new one then. Oh boy. Oh geez. I asked them what they meant and a guy said well I mean look at her right now. She's filming you and she's sure enough what and sure enough she was she was when I turned around. She hit her phone as I was a little bit too drunk and under the influence. I was already paranoid so I decided to leave because I felt so gross. Since then she's pulled me aside to say that I look delicious and scrumptious.

Oh what a creep. Whenever she sees me at the end of the day she taps her cheek and demands a kiss. Oh yeah what the fuck is this part. That's like a gross relative. She asked a girl who works for me to take pictures of me and to send it to her when we're at a pub. I consider myself an assertive girl but there's something about how public about her actions which makes me so timid so I go along with it. Now I'll do that. You think you would think that because she's not my manager anymore now that I've been promoted it wouldn't be a problem.

But it is because my new manager is her best friend. I don't want to cause a rift in this new job but it's really stressing me out. Am I within my rights to tell her to stop? Absolutely you are. How do I tell it is that no I don't want to kiss her on the cheek every time I see you without looking like a bitch. Listen the way you're looking at this is fucking crazy. You're sitting here looking at like you're being an asshole. You're not.

This person is completely out of line. He said a few of my friends think it's a funny situation but I don't and if you don't then it isn't. You got to validate that. If this was a male manager he'd be reported. I love your stuff so much and I wish I could come back to you'd come back to Glasgow someday from a fellow pasty redhead. Alright there fellow fucking pasty. This is what you got to do. She asked for a kiss you tell her no.

And I just stare at I mean listen you have all the fucking power in the world. Or if you just want to go to the manager and say listen I don't want to cause some me too scandal or any of that shit. Can you keep this weird old fucking bag away from me and tell her to be professional. I mean that's the proper way to do it. Those are the proper channels but I have to do it that way. Do it that way okay. Do it that way and document that this has been happening. You have all these witnesses about them filming her and all of this type of shit.

If they ever tried to fire you I mean you don't have a problem. This kind of thing needs to stop and you know in a perfect world you'd go to her. Cause I don't like that whole telling on her thing but that's how the business world works. In a perfect world when she fucking goes like pointed to her cheek that's right where you should punch her. Fucking blast her right in her fucking face. Yeah I mean if you're ever at a bar again and she's doing that shit I would fucking dump a drink right over her fucking head. Like that's just creepy behavior. I would just, you gotta stop this timid thing cause if you're timid someone like that it's like a magnet.

They're gonna go right towards you. You gotta step up to her and tell her what a fucking creep she is. And if I catch you taking video or pictures of me or any of this other fucking creepy sexual shit that you're doing I'm gonna report you. Okay and you think you're gonna get together with your fucking manager friend? Okay all I gotta do is go on social media and your fucking world is over. What the fuck is my phone? What the fuck is my phone? Anyways but don't do that.

That's all anger. Listen but you know you seem like a really like overly nice people pleasing person at 23 which I was. Where you're like is it me? Is it the way I'm dressing? Is it the attractiveness? It's not you. It's that person. Okay so whatever the fuck I said before I got upset.

Just go listen. I got an issue. And don't be like I don't want to kind of have anything. Go in there fucking flat footed and look right at that person and say listen I got an issue with her. She's coming at me in weird sexual ways and I'm getting sick of it. And I'm sick of it. I want to come here and go to work and do a great job. I don't need that.

Okay I would like to file an official report on her harassing me. Okay and that's the deal and I want it to stop. It stops right now. Are we clear? That's it. That's it. There's no don't go in there fucking hat in hand. You don't have to be a cunt.

Just go in and just say look this is happening and it needs to stop immediately. Okay? Well I mean what if she just flashes her tits at you? I mean what the fuck is he going to say? He can't say that. It's over right? All right good luck to you. Okay stay out of the sun and the rest of you go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday.

Rest in peace Vinnie Paul. The Leise presents Kokme with your My The Leise app. From now on, it's for recipes that are delicious, easy and easy to buy. For those of you who are interested in something else or are fond of classics. Oh yeah that was a spaghetti bolognese with a lot of meat. Download the My The Leise app and Kokme. Yes great.

The Leise. Join us with a bite.