Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 6-29-20

Episode Date: June 30, 2020

Bill rambles live at the Troubadour about astronauts, the Rogan mask clip, and how to tell a friend to fuck off.

Hey, what's up? It's Bill Burr. Jesus Christ of my pasty. It's the fucking overhead lighting there. So what you're about to watch is the live, not live, recorded live video that we did at the Troubadour. Had a great time when I was down there, going to try to raise some money for that wonderful venue. Just a little heads up. The audio kind of sucks in some places. It's the first time we ever recorded down there. Had a little issue with my whatever the fuck you call a recording device. And there's an AC going on and off in the background. So apologies to that. But I think Andrew Thamelis was able to do his editing magic. And I think everything will be alright, hopefully. But thank you for watching. We'll have an

autograph poster if you want to buy it to help contribute. We'll have a donation button, I think on the Troubadour's website and everything. But this is a special one because I love this venue and it's done so much for so many people. So I hope you enjoy the podcast. Alright, thank you. Yeah. Fuck all that fake news with the spiked virus. What do they know? Fucking scientists. You know? Bunch of eggheads. Think about all the smart people in high school. You didn't like them, did you? They never went to the beach. They weren't the cool people. Huh? Fucking in the sand. That was you. Why would you listen to them now? What? What? Because they wanted a spelling bee? Listen, this is American man. If you want to go to the fucking

beach, you go to the fucking beach. Alright? You don't have to wear a mask. You're an American. Ah, Jesus Christ. It's an embarrassment. What we're doing right now, it's like the world SATs and we're getting the fucking lowest score. Bunch of fucking, you know? And I would love to just blame the four wheelers, you know? The people on their fucking ranches. The red car usually gets blamed for the dumb behavior. I'm going to tell you this right now. I'm at the fucking Troubadour doing this show. And guess who forgot a mask? All his mask chit chatter that went viral. Who got it in his car? Realized he forgot his mask. Within. Gonna be fighting his fucking couch the whole time. Who forgot his mask? I realized that I forgot my mask

in, I don't know, half a mile of my house. Did I turn around? Did I go back? Did I think of my fellow American? Or did I think how difficult it was going to be to make a three-point turn with power steering, power brakes, and a reverse camera? Reverse backup camera, whatever you call it. And I said, fucking, I'm going to keep going. They'll have a mask for me down here. This is the Troubadour. They probably have an eight-ball in the mask to make sure that I have a good show. Unfortunately, that showed up. They had a mask. Everything was fine. And as mentioned on the last podcast, I was going to be down here. This is so weird. Am I supposed to be playing to the camera? I don't even know. It's like no crowd here.

This is not how I envisioned ever being on this stage. So this is a nice warm-up. I don't know about this house. This is definitely a three-meet-two couch. Three-meet-two movement couch. It feels very hostile, very male. I don't want to get that done. Jesus Christ. The way people are all attacking each other on the internet. Does it make you feel better? Huh? Okay, Karen. Okay, Brad. Okay, Chad. Okay, Boomer. You socialist. You fucking apologist. Geez, everybody acted like they were on a fucking playground and they liked it. Oh, my God. It's not even recording in here. What happened? Will we record anywhere else? I thought this thing was supposed to be recorded. I can't even fucking record right. Well, we got some of that.

Yeah, everybody else is so much better without these things. I enjoy this. I'm going to use this as a little place to put your feet up. So I'm at the world famous Troubadour. Everyone from Joan Baez, Jackson Brown, Albert Einstein did a set here before you realized he wasn't a musician. I don't know if you realize that. You got a boot off stage and he was like, ah, I'm such a fucking idiot. And then there was a groupie, consensual groupie, right? He's going, well, I think your mustache is cute. Maybe there's something else you're good at. He's like, well, I was always pretty good with my erector set. And next thing you know, this man helped to end World War II by coming up with a device that kills all the birds,

the babies, right up to the bad guys. And it needed to be done according to world history. You know, did you need to give him dessert with the entree? I don't know. I'll tell you, anybody, I'll tell you right now about America. Anybody can drop one. You dropped the second one. Okay, that's when the statement is made. Okay, I think that's why we've never been invaded since. Have we ever been invaded? I don't think we ever have. Well, you talked to Trump, he thinks we've been invaded. I'm just building fucking walls. Have we ever been invaded? Let's go through the Rolodex here. All right, the first one was the Revolutionary War, which I'm reminded of

because I'm watching Wheel of Fortune this week and they're in Boston, you know. So, of course, they got to do all this touristy Boston shit that no one in Boston does, standing in front of the Paul Revere statue, the North Church. I saw Pat Sajek throwing a fake fucking box of tea off his goddamn boat. Why do they do that shit? You know what I mean? It'd be funny if they actually did the real Boston one. You know, they just cut to a shit face, made it to a fucking street fight in the alley, next to a bar, down near the Tam. Anyway, so thank you guys for listening to this podcast. Now, if you are a fan of black music, yeah, this thing keeps shutting off, dude.

I don't know what's going on here. Keep shutting off. So, are we going to have the recording? Why would it do that? Why would I fucking need you most? Is it full? Is the disc full? No, it's not full. It's not full. It just appears to be when it shuts off. Yeah, it only goes on for a few seconds and then shuts off. Oh, this is exciting. This is the kind of excitement that raises money. Listening to the only person on the show fiddle with his devices. Alright, I'm hoping you guys are going to get this, right? What is that? What is that? That is a Zoom audio recorder. That's a Zoom audio recorder?

It's a Playboy picture from the 70s. Can I use this as a microphone? You may. I can bring this up. Everything's fine. Not too close. Hey, welcome everybody. Oh, I'm David Libroth here. Oh, my God. Hi, everybody. I'm in West Hollywood with a bedazzled microphone, and we're going to do this, bitches. Yeah, Pat Sajak. I love the Wheel of Fortune. Wheel of Fortune makes you feel smart. Jeopardy makes you feel stupid. Wheel of Fortune is the tightest fucking show ever. Anytime there's any sort of money involved, sorry, anytime there's any sort of money involved, they have like the fucking, like the last prize in the game, they'll do shit where it'll be like,

this is an activity. You guess like five letters, and then the person never gets it. And then like the puzzle, like the solution, the activity is like sewing my buttons on my jacket. I just sit at home yelling at the TV like, that's not a fucking activity. I'd like to solve the puzzle. Frosted faucet in January. You get the grandfather clock. Anyway, so what we're doing here is we're trying to raise money here because a lot of these smaller places, they're struggling here. So we're going to have a poster that's being made. I'm going to autograph the thing or not, making sure everybody has a choice.

Everything is a buckboard. I don't want to mansplain or anything of that nature. I'll be honest with you, I'm so fucking excited just to be out of the goddamn house. And I'm so excited to come down here to this legendary venue and do a set and have a good time. But I got to tell you something, you know, the lack of hearing any sound other than whatever that refrigeration sound is, is that the sound of an air conditioner? I have no idea what it is. It's kind of like a lonely thing, you know, not to make it a bummer. But this is the place when I come back, when I shake the rust off, all right? When old Billy Popsicle face is going to come, you know, I was talking to somebody the other day and they were giving me,

talking about how difficult the time they were having in this fucking business, you know, because of X, Y, and Z. And I was just like, listen, dude, I don't want to be an asshole, but I am the color of a fucking Popsicle and I went bald. Okay? It took me 28 years to get any acting work in this fucking business. All right? I would love to sit here and listen to your bitch moaning and fucking complaining. But I don't have anything for you. I really don't. Or should I? You know, my big question right now is when I go home, is the sound of that refrigeration just going to be in my fucking head? I wonder if anybody's been down here that bombs so fucking bad that they actually heard that this sound in front of a full fucking audience.

Anyway, plumbing ahead. So we're going to have an autographed poster here. And I'll sign the thing and all the money, aside from the money used to ship the thing out is going to go towards sending some money. So this great venue can stay open and when this whole fucking COVID thing is over, I just don't want it to be a bunch of wallmarks in Costco's, in Spaghetti Freddy's, you know, the big boys on the goddamn street, you know? You know what is cool? I went down the street and I was nervous that that busy body place was going to go out of business. That's in one, I think, place that sells exercise equipment. Then I'm like, wait a minute, that store is surrounded by gay guys who all appear to be shredded, you know? So you know they're always going to be getting the latest thing to keep themselves shredded.

That's another tough thing about being a gay guy. Aside from all of the homophobia is the level of shape that you have to stay in because you're trying to attract a guy. It's actually a great thing because you'll stay in wonderful shape. I wonder if there's a movement within the gay community where they complain about all the rich guys trading them in for younger gay guys. Is that a thing that's got to be a thing? I haven't done any research. I'll just say it with confidence and then suddenly it will become a thing. Anyway, let's do some home front updates here. I don't know what I've been doing.

Every day I come out of the stupid podcast and I try to come up with some shit to talk about because I'm just staying at home. Basically living like Groundhog Day. Aside from the fact that there's now another person in our house who by the way is absolutely crushing tummy time. Crushing tummy time. And I gotta tell you, I'm doing all the cliche dad stuff. You know, anything he does, he lifts his head up with his feet also while he's on his stomach. Look at how strong his back is. He's going to be an Olympian.

I was talking to him the other day, telling him I'm going to teach him how to fly a helicopter. I was telling him he could be whatever he wanted. At one point I said he could be an astronaut. And then I just realized what an old dad I was that I said he could be an astronaut. My dad is so good. That's not a really lucrative, you know. I'll tell you, it's been like just sits around for fucking ever. It's gotta be an ass.

Is that a real fucking job anymore? Have they changed the name of it? I just like that there wasn't, like man wasn't in it. So they didn't have to change it, you know. Like if it was astronaut man. Astronaut person. What should be a typical female thing, you know. After all the monkeys die and then the guys get in it and they fucking go in and get their fucking asses kicked.

And they go, what about us? Now that we know it's sort of safe. Do I have any sort of eye fucking password here, internet password? Yes. I'll just get on my phone because I don't want you to yell it out. What is it? Axles late at 9.5? Oh, red hand on red hand? Am I really going to do that?

I fucking love Axle Rose. He can be as late as much as he wants. According to him, it wasn't his fault. He's probably waiting for the sun to go down. So we're going to get a sunburn. That's what happened. What was I looking at? Astronaut.

Astronaut training. See, there's probably a fucking open mic I can go to down the street. Let's see how you look at an orange jumpsuit first. Launch space, astronaut education, astronaut training, NASA. This is 2004. It immediately goes to something. This job doesn't exist anymore. Didn't that dude from fucking in sync want to be an astronaut?

That's one of the dangers of being an avoid man. You know, that's super successful. You could just never recapture those heights again. To the point that you're actually willing to get into something. Can he want to go to Mars? At some point that has to happen. You know, if we can never scomp out this COVID. I think that weirdo guy who makes the really fast cars.

His name isn't Tesla. The guy with the laminated face. Elon Musk. Elon Musk. That guy should make that thing. And what you do is you get a bunch of people who refuse to wear masks. Right? And then you just stick them on it.

You send them out to Mars. There you go. It doesn't have to go to Mars. It really only has to go 100 feet in the air. And then you just shut off the thrusters and you just let it fall, right? It saves you. Wait a minute. I think I'm onto something.

And that would save you all this fucking money while trying to kill all of these people. Because I think that that's what I've learned in this during this whole pandemic. There's a virus out there killing people. And then we need to kill the virus or let it die off. And then we also need to kill the people that are not respecting that you can kill others. Right? Is that how it works? I don't fucking love people.

That is the loudest. What is that fucking? Is that the lights? Is that the lights? It's got to be the lights. I don't know what that humming sound of the lights. The cancerous lights that I'm sitting on. Anyways, let me go back to the internet.

You are not connected. Fine. Fine. Oh, did you see Woodrow Wilson? That's in the news. Woodrow Wilson at Princeton University. They're saying, we don't want this guy. I think they named the cafeteria after him.

The Woodrow Wilson fucking cafeteria in a juice bar. They named it after him. And everybody's saying the guy was unbelievable. He said all this racist shit when he was president or something like that. All these racist ideas, which is crazy. Because he was a white guy born in the 1800s. I can't believe you would say a bunch of crazy shit like that. So I look it up and I see all the stuff that he said.

Pretty standard hateful shit that he said. And I just kept scrolling. Going by the obvious racist shit. Just kept scrolling. Just kept scrolling and waiting to find what I wanted. I wanted to find, I'm playing the camera enough for those of you listening at home. I wanted to find what I wanted to find on that fucking thing. What I wanted to see, where's the shit about what canceled him over the standard white guy racist shit that he said 100 years ago.

But what about the Federal Reserve Act? That oppressed all people. His hatred was just with one segment. His fucking Federal Reserve, that touches all of us. So there you go. What we're going to do is we're going to take his name off the cafeteria. We're going to do that. But we're not going to address what the fuck he did.

Even did he write a letter? Woodrow Wilson's letter of regret after he died. He's like, ah, Jesus. I fucking, I shouldn't have done that. I think everybody was away on Christmas Eve or some shit. That's the way it's told. There was like nine people there who all promised. What can you give somebody back then?

The first motorcycle with white tires? We'll give you that and a fucking horse. And I don't know, a bale of cotton? What the fuck would you, what was the gift back then? I'll give you an itchy wool suit and a team of horses. If you put this fucking thing in, that's kind of like what happened. I have no idea. I think, I can't say this.

I don't want to, I'm trying not to do comic on comic fucking trashes here. But I don't want to do a show right now. I don't want to do a show until this shit is gone, the COVID's gone. But I already have a joke if you do a show. How was your show? I killed four old people and one guy with asthma. I'm kidding, whatever. I'm on stage.

And by the way people, I'm wearing one of my favorite stand up shirts. I've worn this thing a lot, I think I've worn it on Conan's. This shirt will not fucking quit. This show can take the road, okay? Unlike a lot of these soft fucking people out here right now that just can't fucking handle any sort of breeze that messes up their bangs. This shirt is old school tough. I'm not saying it agrees with Woodrow Wilson.

I don't mean that kind of old school. I mean the kind of old school toughness that made this country great. That made people get on a boat and come over here and ignore the fact that there was already people here and claim that you discovered it, right? Talking about that level of toughness. This is the kind of shirt that you could put measles in and hand to an indigenous people.

Alright, someone will take this seriously. Somebody at the Measles Foundation. We, you know, actually measles still kill over 5.9 million people a year. And for some reason that doesn't get any traction. Alright, what else did I want to talk about? Yeah, but listen to a lot of Billy Joel. I don't know why. I saw him on Howard Stern and he just fucking blew me away, you know?

When you actually see a true musician by himself with just his instrument and he's still crushing it, you know? And even then he's going, it's like, you know, fucking 9 in the morning. My voice is tired. The guy absolutely killed it. I've listened to a bunch of that shit. Some of the stuff you guys suggested to me. That woman who goes by her.

H period, E period, R period. I don't know what that stands for. Forgive me. I bet if there was a guy who knew exactly what it stood for. I listened to that. I listened to the new Lamb of God, which has part Chris Adler on it, in part the new drummer, whoever that is, really enjoyed that album. And other than that, I'm not doing shit.

You know what I'm doing? I'm fucking laying around in my, I'm going to lay down for the rest of this fucking, I'm laying around in my fucking house and I am waiting for the day when people will just fucking stay inside and stop breathing on each other. You know? Man, I was going to suggest this fucking thing. I don't think it's a good idea though. I was going to say that, no, you know what, I'm predicting something.

From a laying down position. I don't know if you guys know this. If you ever want to have a great idea in life, you need to be laying down. Think about it. How many times have you laid down and you thought about leaving your girlfriend? She's laying next to you, she's snoring and you're like, I have to get out of this fucking relationship. When you're across from her in a restaurant, back in the day, you know,

you're eating food, there's other broads to look at, you don't give a fuck. But when you're laying down, and all you can hear is the sound of the rock star lights humming over your head, that's when you are the most clear. I'm going to say that mass shaming at some point is going to, I can't say, I'm going to say what it was going to escalate to, but I just think that it would probably, can you please keep six feet away from me? Can you please do that? Me without a mask.

Ah fuck, why does the world have to be so sensitive? Isn't it enough that I have a fuzzy microphone? This is a chinchilla that I beheaded before I did this. Actually a baboon ate it alive. When a baboon's going to get me tuned for fucking eating things alive, it's fucking assholes. It's like, how fresh does the meat have to be? You can't just snap the fucking thing's neck.

Whenever I see them do that shit, I agree with Rogan where Rogan says that, you know, how we, you know, let me get that whole bit that we're monkeys. You know, I always loved that bit, and then I watched a monkey enjoying eating another thing alive. And I was just like, yep, that's human behavior. Getting off on the suffering. The suffering fucking suck a tash. Are you guys, are you guys a great dad like me? I'm going to blow my own fucking horn right here.

All right, consensually. I was, I, this morning, I made my daughter and my wife, I made it what's known as a Dutch baby. I call it a Dutch baby because I don't want to call it a German pancake because I'm actually part German and I don't want anybody to take little snippets of this. And then all of a sudden I'm aligned with Hitler. It's actually a German pancake. We'll call it a Dutch baby, right?

But does that sound like a predator? I don't know. I made this fucking thing with blueberries and a little bit of powdered sugar. Absolutely fucking crushed it. Got up in the morning, I did my stretches, I rehabbed my shoulder, look at this shit. Look at this shit, huh? No pain, no pain, no pain, no 360s. I'm coming back.

I'm going to be doing my first pull-up by fucking 2022 when this virus is still going and everybody's fucking hunting people with paint guns out here in LA because they're all against guns, right? Playing laser tag for the last piece of fucking, was it foie gras? What's the thing where they force feed the geese? Is it foie gras? Foie gras. Where is your fucking life at?

Like how high is your fucking rent? That you're sticking a funnel in a goddamn goose's mouth. Just shoving food into the fucking things. How do you shake that off? How do you fucking go home? You know, how do you, you know, she wants to have a fucking date night? Oh, you're in an alternative lifestyle. Let this be respectful here.

Are you a boyfriend? Or they, right? They want to watch, uh, what was that? What was that fucking show that they have? Transcontinental? Trans, uh, what was it called? Transparent. Transparent.

I knew they worked it in there. Trans American Airlines, whatever, right? You know, fucking, you go to sit down with them, or they, or him or her, to watch a fucking movie. How do you shake that off? You know, as he's sitting there next to you being like, I don't feel like you're in this movie the way I thought you were going to be. And you got to be like, well, you know, I mean, I was all down for like hooking up tonight watching this movie. But I mean, I force-fed a goose off tonight. I can't get the sound of those flapping wings out of my head.

Jesus Christ. I mean, is that something to be proud of? You don't see that bumper sticker, right? Right next to my, my son's a fucking, my son's on the dean's list, whatever the fuck these idiots say. That's always next to some soccer ball fucking bumper sticker. My son force-fed a goose today. And oh boy, we can't wait to fucking eat that thing in a month. It started with peasants so that they could fatten up the liver because they needed more food out of that one goose.

So they started with peasants? Yeah, so they force-fed it through the funnel so that they could fatten it up to get enough goose out of that goose. What when they just shoot a fucking squirrel too? You know, there's other things to eat. Wow, I gotta try to boost liver or something. That's gotta be a good fucking, that's gotta be some good eats, huh? The force-fed thing. The older I get, the more I blame God.

I mean, our behavior is just inexcusable and I just really feel like at first there was just God and then he realized what he created and then he needed a scapegoat. It's almost like a script that didn't have like an antagonist and a protaginist. Who's the bad guy? Antagonist, protaginist. Antagonist. Antagonist, pro, right? We're going for the pro.

All those, you know? I'm a pro. Everything with peas like pasta, right? Pro, pussy, prostitute. A lot of fun. Oh, look who decided to show up. Finally. Oh, look who just showed up.

Is that an axle? Look who finally shows up. What's going on? I'm like 35 minutes in. 35 minutes in. If I told you the absolute rock star that I am now friends with that just walked into this room and I don't want to name the name, you know? Because I don't want you guys to resent me.

I've seen all these people, all these celebrities during this, this whole pandemic. They try to say something positive and all people do is just concentrate on their possibly huge kitchens. Now a lot of people don't realize the man who just There's shit on us, don't they? Huh? There's shit on us, don't they? There's shit on us.

You trying to be bottomed? Is that an axle? No. Oh, we didn't even do this. All right. I'll create my binder. You gave me a shot. You didn't care that I was the color of a popsicle, did you?

Nope. You did. You're like, you know what? I need a challenge. Not only am I going to stick this balding right into my movie. I'll have to paint the back of his head every day before he goes on set. I'm going to fucking, I'm going to make him a lawyer. And that wonderful movie was called Black or White.

starring Kevin Costner, Octavia Spencer. Spencer? Sorry. Anthony Mackie? It sucks. I can only take one thing at a time. Mike, we're going to smoke a cigar after this, right? Yeah.

All right. Can you not sit there and stare at me like you're waiting to fucking end my career? What do you want me to stare at you from? Why don't you go sit on one of those fucking mumps over there with that lemmy puke back in the day? Now, that's sacrilegious because you know that guy never puke. Whoever was drinking with Lemmy that night. All I know is this is where Elton John made his debut. That's why I...

Elton John made his debut here, who I recently saw in Las Vegas. That guy is such a beast. He had no opener, played for three hours, nothing but hits. He didn't play once. There wasn't one bathroom break song. I wanted to go to the bathroom about 90 minutes in and then he would just... Ah, fucking crocodile rock. Can't go now.

Oh, Daniel LaBra, the can't leave now. Anyways, what was I talking about? Flunk walk. Force feeding gooses. God needed a scapegoat. I think at the beginning, he was talking shit. Like, yeah, motherfucker, I thought it was going to take a week and I did it in six days. I got my feet up in seven days.

What if Garg took eight days to build this thing? What if he just spent a little more time on human beings, you know, so that we wouldn't do shit? Like, take a... Although, if you look at all the other animals out there, specifically the praying mantis and some of these other ones, I mean, they're just... They all got the devil in them. I think lions are nice. Like, if I had to get killed by a praying mantis or a lion, I would choose a lion.

You know, I wouldn't want an alligator because they don't have the ability. After they fucking drown me, then they got to do that step that... You know, they clamp onto you and then they fucking whip their head around so that, like, the other 90% of your body flies off and then they got, like, you know, your right ass cheek in their mouth and then they just, they gulp it down. It's like the binge-washing version of eating. Yeah, you want to be... You're going to get murdered by an animal.

You want to go with one of the cats and pray. Now, am I still being recorded? You just walked away. Jesus Christ. And when did you start wearing the hat backwards when you're filming? That's like a big... You look like a seasoned vet now. How far into this fucking thing am I?

30 minutes in. Okay, we're getting off, so I should do the advertising. Alright, where are we? Masks, chicken intelligence. How do I tell a friend to fuck off, honouring a psycho? This is, I'm teasing this classic rock song about Stanley Cup conspiracy. New York Times hack. Where the fuck is...

What am I doing here, Andrew? Oh, here we go. Oh, Jesus, here we go. We got the reeds here. We got the Rex reeds here. Alright, Ray-Con, everyone. You know, whether you're working from home or working on your fitness, somebody just fell down the stairs.

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buyraycon.com. Buyraycon.com. Hey, we panned around to show people this amazing venue that most people don't ever get to go into. Huh? There's the blah. There's the standing room only.

Up here is the VIP right there with that dirty window that I don't know how many titties were pressed against. Who knows? Back in the day, back in the day when fun was had, and up here's where the band,

that's why they got the curtains. The amount of billionaires. Hey, Phil. Best place to see a show. Best place to see a show. Right here. Mike Binder says best place to see a show. All right.

Let me read the next one. Where the fuck is it? I feel like I'm running for president and I don't have my notes and the whole fucking thing that the campaign just said. Is this all that happens is what? Niva?

Niva, yeah. Niva. How the fuck is that spelled N-I-V-A? It stands for something. Niva. The troubadour is part of Niva. The nation... It doesn't mean national.

The nation independent venue association formed at the onset of the COVID-19 shutdown. The nationally independent venue association. Now it's national. It's a nation first. Now it has nearly 2,000 members in all 50 states in Washington, DC. These are fully independent concert venues

and show promoters. I love these people. I like these people. These businesses were the first to close and will be the last to reopen. They are at real risk of closing permanently if Congress... What the fuck?

Let me just say something in my ear. Foie gras? I didn't say foie gras. I'm gonna put this away. Sorry. They're at real risk of closing permanently if Congress does not take quick and specific action to address

the unique circumstances of this still shuttered component of the economy. Yeah, I would say that this is pretty when they say if you're vital. This is gonna be vital for when people come back. Essential. Essential. Sorry.

Here's how you can help. The Troubadour and all the important independent venues within Niva. Niva! Niva! Please go to www.saveourstages.com and click on Take Action to write your representative and express your support for Niva.

Hashtag Save Our Stages. Niva website is www.saveourstages.com. Alright. Is it time for the reads? Is it time for the reads? It's time for advice with your host Billy Burr. And I'm ripping off this melody

from somebody else. Alright. Like that, that was fucking acapella. I think I went the wrong way here. And I mixed all of these up. This is like literally me while I was never on the debating team. And I literally fucked all of these up.

I don't have them in the right order. I'll just, we'll talk about something else. Alright. Alright. Somebody's writing in from Montenegro. I was immediately like, I know where that is. And I believe there's an F1 race there.

And then I looked where it was on the map and I was wrong. Montenegro, believe it or not, is right on the Mediterranean Sea. And I'll tell you right now, out of all the seas out there, the Mediterranean Sea is the greatest place I've ever been to in my life.

And I bet the beaches of Montenegro are to die for. Especially if you don't wear a mask. Thank you, everybody. That was a COVID joke. Jesus Christ. Alright, he's back. He's back.

He's the first lunch of present, right? You write it. I'll say it. I mean, I'll fuck and say it. Alright. Hello from Montenegro, which we now know is it's across, it's due east of Italy

where that nipple hangs out. Not the boot. Not the high heel. It's south of Bosnia, Serbia, Croatia, and just north of Macedonia. Kosovo, Bulgaria. I would love to go over there, man. One of the best cigars.

The two best cigars I ever smoked was right on the Mediterranean Sea. Joe Bartner from Club Soda Kenny. Ah! It's that right there. We were in Tel Aviv. I smoked a part of your series, D. And the first day,

a Cogibo Rebusto, and they were fucking real. And I don't need to look at the bands. I don't need to do any of that shit. You know the second you light a Cuban. You light a Cuban cigar and it's real. Everybody says the same thing. After one pop, you just go,

oh my god. That's it. Oh my god. And if your friends lighten it and he says it first, you get chills like, holy fuck. These are real, right? These are real.

And then you're like, oh fuck. Did I get the fake one? All right. Hello from Montenegro. Don't you think they should change the name of that country? Montenegro. Hello, Bill Burr.

My name is... Oh Jesus. Alexander. A-L-E-K-S-A-N-D-A-R. And I am from Montenegro. Oh my god. That reminds me of my daughter. I am Buwana from Montenue.

I always read that book. I move with the rock. I like your comedy a lot, especially your podcast. You are funny as fuck. But your lovely lady is funnier than you. Oh, come on. I would never disagree with that.

She's hilarious. I am also a bold bud. At least I'm not a fucking ginger. What is a bold bud? Also bald bud. Also bald bud. How did you figure that out? He wrote bold bud.

I'm also a bald bud. At least I'm not a fucking ginger. Ah, the hatred continues. I hope that you will come soon in this part of the world. I could say much more about my English is limited. Kind regards. I've got to tell you something, man. If everybody breaks balls the way this guy does,

that would be one of the most fun shows I've ever had. I'll tell you what's really underrated. There's the amount of great shit talkers out there. You know, I've stated the obvious. Like when I've gone on the road that, like, people in Ireland and Scotland are fucking hilarious. People in Australia are fucking hilarious. But then underrated.

Right? Underrated. India. Some of the biggest ball breakers I've ever met in my life. Fucking hilarious people. Then a lot of the other places, there's like a language barrier. So I'm sure that breaking my... Well, there was in India too,

but there's so many telemarketers over there. I mean, we were able to communicate. It still kills me that I did a show, and that was my opening fucking joke. And I forgot to do it. I was so freaked out because I had to go to the... their embassy to get a piece of paper. I had to get a...

I had to send my passport. Once again, I know I've told this story before. Before I went to India, I had to send my passport to San Francisco to the... India's... I don't know what. Would I consulate fucking... embassy?

I don't know what. Had to get work papers. And then when I went to India, I needed to get a paper that said it was okay that I could leave. And the whole time I was like, I don't like the fucking sound of that. You know, I might prove to the promoters like,

I don't worry about it. I don't be fucking fine. You got to be fine because you fucking live here. So I ended up going there. And it sucked because I was only going to be there for like 36 hours. And I spent like four stressful hours in their government building

trying to get this fucking piece of paper that said I was going to leave. And the promoters like, don't worry, I'll go in there with you. And then I fucking go in. They're like, you can't come in. And then I'm in there. I'm chilling with this chick from Afghanistan.

And she's like, I don't think I'm getting out of here. I'm like, I don't think I'm getting out of here either. And then I found out one of those, some beautiful Raven hair chick who plays the piano. One of those Nora Jones type chicks, but not her. One of those chicks.

See, uh, uh, no, one of those, she won a Grammy. She had an album. She just won Grammy. She was beautiful. Had dark hair, played the piano. Nora Jones? I don't know what the fuck they're doing.

All I know was she did, they told me, but the promoter told me before I went in, they was like, yeah, she was here a month ago, and they didn't let her out. And I'm like, they didn't let her out? They let my fucking orange ass out of this fucking country. Um, so anyways, long story short, I ended up getting a piece of paper.

The whole time I was doing my show, in the back of my head, it's like, am I still going to be here tomorrow? What's that going to look like? You know? I love a cheeseburger. And I am in the wrong goddamn country. I'm seeing stray powders.

I'm trying to fucking, you know, think of how I'm going to survive over here. And my opening joke was going to be, hey, what's up, everybody? Nice to be here in Mumbai. You know? Okay, I'm going to put the hang back on the joke. It was something like, and I know,

I've already talked to most of you on the phone. By the way, I know your name is Scott. That was going to be the opening joke, and I forgot to fucking do it because I was so freaked out. And I ended up going to the airport right after the show, and had a red-eyed flight.

And I got there, and the gatekeeper guy was breaking my balls, but there was nobody in the airport. And I actually got mad at him. And in my head, I was like, you just fucked yourself. But, oh yeah, I told this story before, but I was never able to do the thing.

They got this great thing in India, where if you ask them a question, like, they'll do this thing where they just wobble their head. They don't say yes, is that yes? Yes, and they don't go no. Like, I got the piece of paper at the embassy thinking, okay, does this mean

that I'm going to get out of here tonight? I'm definitely getting out of here, right? And the lady goes like, just like, and I realized that in their country, that's shrugging your shoulders. So I had to figure that out. So I fucking go to the airport,

and I'm like, all right, I got the paper. I got to get on the plane, and the fucking guys look at the paper, and I'm like, I'm good, right? And the guy, he starts doing this shit. I just wanted to grab his fucking head and just start tilting it like an old TV set, you know?

And he actually, God bless that man. He let me get on, and I did not feel comfortable until I changed planes in Tel Aviv. And I got on the greatest airline there is that I already forget the name of it. It's where they still hire, like, I can't say still hire beautiful stewardesses,

because Singapore Airlines had beautiful stewardesses, too. Arab Emirates? Air Emirates. Oh, my God. It was like being on an airplane 30 years ago and being on the Jetsons all at the same time. It was the future and the past

in the greatest fucking way ever. It was amazing. And I used all my miles, and we sat up front, and I went in the back. First class, we were upstairs. We went downstairs with all these fucking animals. We were upstairs in the privileged area,

and I loved every second of it, and every fucking free M&M that I ate. I didn't once think about you people who put your pant legs on one at a time. I don't give a fuck. So I go to the back. I got to take a piss. You know what I'm fucking doing?

This shit is I'm going back, you know? And I go in the back, and there's like a fucking half-circle bar, like a full fucking bar that like six people can sit again on. And I'm like, oh, my God. So I take a leap, and I came back, and I said to my lovely wife,

I go, Mia, come on back. She goes, where are we going? She's like, where are we going to go? Show me the bathroom. I go, no, come on. I want to get you a drink. She goes, you can't. I can just fucking come with me.

And I took her to the back, and she saw that semi-circle thing. And next to the semi-circle bar, they had a bench seat with this giant fucking... I remember it as one giant seat belt, which is really creepy, because if you didn't know the person, then you got to kind of share it.

You know, but I don't know. It's different, you know. There's different cultures. I don't know what it is, right? So I fucking, we sat down, and I had two drinks. I got a nice fucking buzz going, and I remember we were on our way to New York.

I forget what the fuck we were doing over there. And I do remember we stayed at some really expensive hotel that I was pissed when I got to build. My wife booked that one. What? I thought you'd like it, because it had a gym. Best Western has a gym.

We're in New York. I can just fucking walk over to the subway. I'm burning enough calories. I'm just going to stay away from the pizza. All I'm trying to do is make it nice. I'm sorry. All right. I am normally...

Okay, I want to clear up this shit. I want to clear up this shit, by the way. This is video of me and Joe Rogan joking around about those masks. And for some reason, the story became like, I schooled him, or, you know, I was shutting him down and blah, blah. I fucking love Joe Rogan.

He's one of my great friends in this fucking business. I don't know why they always have to pit me. If you look at us, we're both laughing our asses off. We're a couple of fucking meatheads, smoking cigars, having a good time. All right? So anyways, this guy writes... I don't even want to read this to feed the fucking thing.

Do I first read the next one? The next one. All right, masks. Dear Billy, two step. You must have seen me dance. I can do that. I can dance in a little box, you know? It's all about getting on the dance floor with the woman

who she knows how to dance. She fucking dances around you. You're just stealing this shit, right? Hands up here. Not touching anything. Not touching anything. Ladies! Dear Billy, two step.

I'm loving the Bill Burt podcast. Thank you. Last week you mentioned that the clip that went viral of you and Rogan wasn't what it seemed to be. And that you were just busting Joe's balls and making him laugh. Yeah, yesterday Joe had John Stewart on

and they talked about that clip. Joe jokingly said, can you say you'll wear a mask? Oh, John jokingly said that. Joe said, of course he wears masks in public and that he was just trying to get you going. None of this seems far-fetched. I was wondering if you could address the people

who tried to co-op your humor to fit there. We don't like Joe Rogan agenda. I saw many tweets saying things like Bill Burt helping to cancel Joe Rogan. Yeah, man. That's shit. I gotta tell you something right now. That fucking bullshit.

Like all these progressive people that are literally, like, Fox News could learn something from them the way they edit shit and present evidence and all of that type of stuff. It's just like people. There's a big beautiful world out there

and there's room for everybody. And if you're gonna take somebody out, you know what I mean? Just fucking do your due diligence. All right, you know? Because this shit, there was nothing to this. This was just us having fun. And you're trying to, like, you know...

Hey, can I say something to ruin your podcast? No. Come on. No, shut the fuck up. You're an even older white guy than I am. I'm already enough trouble. I know. Shut up, Mike.

Find your place. I would just want to ruin your podcast. Okay. I got so many calls about that. I can't... I got so many calls about that and I said, Mike, shut up!

You love that fucking guy. I know I love that guy. I have a few friends with Bill. That's the way he treats you on every phone call. Can you believe he's stone sober this man hasn't had a drink in like 30 fucking years? I can't imagine when you used to get hammered. All right.

Yes, you're right. Exactly right. Anyways, all right. Can I announce the project that you're doing, by the way? No. Fuck. All right. See, like how I asked?

All right. Chicken Intelligence. Hey, Billy Boy. Hey, Billy Boy. Billy Boy, in June, in your... Oh, this is an amazing thing. I was talking about... There was all this shit about chickens.

How chickens can count up to 10. They can see more colors than us. So I was saying, if you have a bunch of chickens and you're going to kill one, you got to make sure you have over 10. So they don't get wise to it, right? Because they'll just start over again.

Like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I think everybody's here, right? They stopped at 10. You can have 1,000 chickens and kill 990. You got to kill 991 before these stupid chickens figure it out, right? In your June 18th podcast, you said you were bothered by eating chickens

even though they have the intelligence of a two-year-old. Did I say it was or it wasn't? Is that word correct? I don't remember what I said. You said at what reading level would it take to get you to stop eating a chicken? Oh, at what rate?

All right. My family has been raising chickens for generations and let me give you the other side of the story. Oh, God. Everybody gets their feelings. As an owner of chickens, of all of the barnyard animals, chickens are easily the stupidest.

I love it. I always heard pigs are smart. I heard cows are smart, too. I heard horses are smart, but they're a little full of themselves. Anybody else? They got that nice mane, you know? They think this shit doesn't stick.

Of all the barnyard animals, chickens are easily the stupidest. They are a little better than lizards. Raising chickens is a constant battle to keep these feathered idiots from killing themselves or each other. People outside, I mean, they really are just a food source.

You know what I mean? They can't run fast. They can't fucking fly, and they're delicious. You know, God knew what he was doing when he made it. What the Pope like? Jesus Christ. People outside of the poultry business

may not know this. Like I always said, the poultry business. You know, he's talking shopping. So, you know, just in case, you know, he must have keep me on my heels here. But one of the most common causes of chicken death is cannibalism. I'm not making this up.

Oh, my God. God bless this guy. Whether this is even true or not, does it even matter now? This is fucking great. I'll never feel guilty again eating chicken. While toddlers also require constant attention to make sure they are safe,

there is little danger of a poorly supervised daycare turning into a cannibal holocaust. Oh, he uses a holocaust word. Have you ever noticed how veganism is much more popular among city people than rural? Some would say that it has to do with education. But I believe it's because people who are closer to animals have fewer illusions about how human they are.

Enjoy your roast chicken. The cannibal chickens would happily join you in your meal. Greetings from the sticks. Oh, buddy, how can you bring it up and not give me... I want to hear the stories. This guy has to write back. I want to hear the edgine stories of these fucking chickens eating each other.

Wow. I mean, what is their excuse when the chicken cops show up? Well, he's fucking to eat chicken. He's delicious. You all know how good we taste. Fishing trip. This is weird. This is also not in the right place.

You just grabbed the last one you just put down. There was more of it. Grab the last one I just put down. Yeah. Oh, okay. Sorry. All right. Classic rock song about Stanley Cup conspiracy.

Have I promoted the troubadour enough? I feel like I just sat down and just did the podcast here. If you want again, well, I'll cut it in after. All right. Just walking by. The person you're living with but can't really stand and you enjoy this podcast. I am live right now.

I'm recording live and unedited here at the troubadour. We're raising money to keep this wonderful venue and some of the greatest artists of all time from rock. All the way like Richard Friar has been on this stage. Steve Martin has been on this stage. George Carlin. George Carlin's been on this stage. And then a major drop off all the way down to me

has been on this fucking stage. We got to save this place. Come on. This fucking place. I've got shit faced in here. I've had a great, great, great fucking time in this place. This place cannot go away. I won't let it.

I won't let it happen. This is a classic rock song about Stanley Cup conspiracy. Hey, Billy Barilko. I hope you didn't struggle with that last name. You hooked on fun. I did. You hooked on phonics. Reliant old man.

How old was this guy that he used hooked on phonics? You're my age buddy. That was a hacky joke when I started. Big fan. Love all the content you've been providing us with efforts for family season four, King of Staten Island, Black or White,

and all the podcast appearances. The song 50 Mission Cat by the Canadian classic rock band The Tragically Hip depicts the story of the 1951 Stanley Cup final between the Toronto Maple Leafs and the fucking halves. Fashioned Bill Barilko scored the winning goal in game five. Four months later, he takes a small prop plane to go on a fishing trip in Quebec with the buddy,

the plane vanishes. The plane was discovered 35 miles off course 11 years later in 1962. The next time the Maple Leafs won the cup, 11 years later in 1962, the next time the Maple Leafs won the cup, all two coincidental. Wait, what coincidental thing happened there?

The Maple Leafs were winning the cup like every other fucking year. Wouldn't they have been? Anyway, anyways, he wrote it the way I say it, I highly recommend checking out The Tragically Hip, their legends up here and never made it elsewhere because they were a bit too Canadian. Their songs, rock and their frontman,

Gord Donnie has a crazy life story as well. I will definitely check them out. I'm going to look up that Bill Barilko. Wait, the plane was discovered 35 miles off course 11 years later, that would be 1951. The next time the Maple Leafs won the cup, all two coincidental. Well, you know what?

If that van is as Canadian as that fucking analogy, I don't think I'm going to get a meter. I didn't get that. All right, how do I tell a friend to fuck off? Mike, you want to take this one? All right, dear Billy Booze tits, I have not drank in 19 months, all right? I am better than all of you.

I'm a 20 year old guy from, I'll tell you, this place is making me thirsty. I'm a 20 year old guy from the Netherlands, so please excuse me if my English isn't perfect. I love they always say that, and then they write perfect English. I am in a friend group with seven other guys, but I am friends with only six of them.

The one guy I don't like is a complete ego maniac, slash probably the leader of the group, and I don't want to be around him for the following reasons. He always makes everything about him. Whenever someone is telling a personal story you will interrupt them by telling a way less interesting story about himself. You could say you lost your grandparents

in a horrific car crash, and he will interrupt you by saying his car was almost hit by a car, his cat was almost hit by a car once. That's a great joke that I fucked it up, I'm sorry. He always makes himself out to be the victim of every single situation. Whenever something goes wrong,

he will always find a way to talk about how the situation affected him the most, even though a lot of times this is not the case. This is especially annoying when someone is opening up about some fucked up shit that happened in his past, which some of us rarely ever do because of this. He is a fucking dick when it comes to money. Jesus, this guy is just aces right down the fucking...

Us Dutchies are known for being greedy cunts, but this guy gives a whole new dimension to it. Whenever he is... For even the cheapest thing, he will demand his money back immediately, and when he doesn't, he will forever remind you of the one time he bought him a single drink

and how generous he is for doing so. Dude, the more you're writing about this guy, the less sympathy I have for you. Where the fuck is your self-esteem? You should have told this guy to fuck off in the first two sentences. Whenever you buy him something, he will never thank you for it,

or offer you to pay him back even a single penny. How do I tell him that I don't want to hang out with him anymore without starting a big drama? I'm afraid he will portray me as this evil maniac who hurts his innocent little heart and set my friends up against me.

I also don't want to hurt his feelings because I'm somewhat of a nice guy, and I fear... Oh, yeah, you got to the root of the problem there. And I fear he may be autistic or something like that, as that would explain a lot of his antisocial behavior. Love to stand up to podcasts, episodes for family, thanks a lot, and go fuck yourself.

Alright, we got to the root of the order. Right there. I don't want to hurt his feelings because I'm somewhat of a nice guy. You're not somewhat of a nice guy. You're too much of a nice guy, and I guarantee his other six friends are also like that.

Because nobody else would put up with a guy like that. Alright? So, what you need to do is grow a dick, let those balls hang down, and you need to tell this guy to fuck off. And what you're saying is your perception of the story, because everything is alleged to everybody, until proven.

And what you're saying is true here again. Just tell this guy to fuck off. Just tell the guys. Be like, yeah, I like you. You're a cheap fucker. You know, I buy you drinks all the time. You never say thanks. If you buy me a drink,

I never fucking hear the end of it. You always make everything about yourself. Look at you. Your bottom lip is already quivering because you think your feelings are hurting. Tell them you're a cunt. And then call them a cunt in English. Back to Dutch.

Seven-way. What are you fearing that you're losing? What you need to do is, actually, you need to become a stronger person. So you don't, because you will constantly end up in a situation like this. Alright?

If you're a really nice person, the chances of you marrying a cunt are off the charts. Because cunts marry nice people. That's what I did. Because only nice people put up with their behavior. Alright? Honoring a psycho.

Honoring a psycho. How should he do it? Not over the phone. You gotta do it face to face. How about the next time somebody's telling a story and you're interested and he interrupts? Can you just be like,

oh, well, you've got the fuck up. No, no, better yet, let's hear your story. Oh my god, that's so much more interesting than I thought in a war. What other knick-knack did you find at the back of your closet,

your boring cunt? Hey, how about you pick up the check for once? Then all your other fucking friends are gonna be staring at the table because they're gonna be afraid of confrontation because that's why he hangs out with you guys. Alright, honoring a psycho. Hey there, Billy,

leader of the new free world. This reminded me of a show you were talking about where the woman was crazy, but they somehow acted like all their violent crimes were nothing big. I'm a woman and I've been known and I've known a few psycho women so I don't discriminate

when it comes to people who need the chlorophone rag. That's a bit of yours I saw. My dad showed it to me. Oh, thank you. The article is called Overlooked No More Valerie Solanus, Radical Feminist Who Shot Andy Warhol.

Oh yeah, I've read about that. I didn't even know that fucking story. Yeah, she shot the guy and he ended up dying of his injuries, injuries related to the shooting. Like, was it 25 years later? Here you're big in the art world, Mike. Valerie Solanus is best known as the woman

who shot Andy Warhol, but to focus on the shooting is to ignore her contributions to the feminist movement, including her seminal text, Scum Manifesto. This is from the New York Times book. You know, John Wilkes Booth

made an incredible peach cobbler and to just focus on his assassination of Abraham Lincoln is to not do this man justice. Yeah, well, I guess I need to be progressive and understand that this murderer actually has something to say. This woman who shot a man

actually has some good points to make about the male-female dynamic. That's from the New York Times? Can you ever get mad again when Fox News makes fun of the New York Times? I mean, they're not wrong. I mean, I think Fox is as bad as the New York Times on the other side,

but Jesus Christ, I'll have to read the books. Scum Manifesto. I had it in the car. Had it in the car? Well, listen, how bad do you think white guys would behave in the back when she was around?

And then I love, she ends up picking like the most effeminate, like, you know, it looks like the most anti-toxic. I don't know, who knows? Maybe he wasn't bullied. Maybe Andy deserved to be shot. And the fact that he took 25 years to die.

He took 25 years to die. Just shows his white male privilege. Doctors kept him alive for 25 years. No need to read on the podcast. So why am I reading this? I don't know. You got the bottoms on the end of that. The other one.

You got to finish the sheet. It's on that. The bottom, just start that. See? What? Yeah, that. Overlooked. No, it's a New York Times hack.

New York Times hack. I Billy Blockbuster. Can I read the rest of this? Yeah. Oh, sorry. No need to read on the podcast, but aren't you talking about how the times kicks you off

after reading one article on your podcast with Bert and Jim Norton. Yeah, whenever I click on an article that I want to read and I find out that it's a New York Times related article, the thing pops up after a paragraph.

And then I click off. Because I subscribe to the Boston Globe and the Boston Herald and I can't remember my passwords and I don't read it. Why would I sign up for another newspaper? You can put a p*** after.com on any article

and read it for free. I shouldn't have read this on the podcast. Now they're going to know. If you want to shout out Josh for the tip on the pod without giving out the secret, I'll take the love. You're the man.

All right. Leap that out. Leap that out. Shout out to Josh for giving me the New York Times hack. I got to pass it on to other people. I shouldn't even say that. They'll Google it.

Whatever. People will figure it out. All right. That's the pot. Is that it? I want to thank the Troubadour and out of respect for all the great rock stars for the most part,

I did sit down during all this and let me just talk about the venue for a little bit. I cannot believe how small this f***ing stage is and I remember feeling the same way the first time I went to the comedy cellar during the day. I couldn't believe how small the stage was and how small the room felt

because you go up there and it was so electric when the place was full and I remember the day I had to go down to the comedy store the comedy cellar during the day was because of something Patrice did when he was on stage

that Manny and Estie wanted to have a big comics meeting and Patrice didn't even show up hilarious and all I remember that showed up was me, Bobby Kelly and David Tell were the only ones that showed up for this big comic meeting.

If I remember correctly but this is an absolute legendary stage. I want to thank everybody here at the Troubadour for allowing me to come down here thank you for all the great shows that you've done down here and thank you to everybody

who's going to buy the poster or just give anything you can to keep this amazing venue open because someday you're going to come here hopefully and see the next great band or one of the bands that you always wanted to see in an intimate setting

I absolutely fucking love this place it would not be LA if this place wasn't still around so if you can I know everybody's struggling but if you can help this venue out it would mean the world to me and like I said

I think I'm going to start doing one of these down here every single month maybe I'll be having a guess next time whatever I can do it's the positive thing I'm trying to do

during this time there's so much everybody screaming and yelling and at each other's throats trying to do something positive so that's it go fuck yourselves I'll check in on you on Thursday

thank you guys so much for listening thank you to the Troubadour and thank you to my binders for filling up the VIP with himself and his giant Hollywood ego God bless you all right how was that

I think I just hit something Joni Mitchell James Taylor Whalen Jennings Average White Band who's I know that is that's Betten Midler John Denver

Todd Rundren Little Feet Sam Fucking Kinnison Cheech and Chong Joan Baez Elton John made his American debut here

his debut in America I should say Point of Sisters Willie Nelson Miles Davis Van Morrison Dawkins Yeah baby

Wasp Guns N' Roses Metallica Returned to Forever Who is in there I should know that band that was like a beat I thought Tony Williams

I thought Tony Williams was in there Thanks Is that Lenny White Who's in that band Who's that drummer Lenny Who Herbie Hancock

Chris Christofferson Jackson Brown There you go Steve Martin Open for Richard Pryor That was an actual show here Can you imagine if you went to that Tom Petty

Cat Stevens Billy Joel Harry Chapin Anna Cat Shayna Cradle Jimmy Buffett I love Wheel of Fortune And what do they have

Now you go to Margaritaville But this place If anything's going to challenge my sobriety Look at this fucking chair How do you not get Fucking hammered Get fucking hammered

Get fucking hammered Get fucking hammered Get fucking hammered Get fucking hammered Get fucking hammered Get fucking hammered Get fucking hammered Get fucking hammered

Look at this stuff This is incredible Alright so that concludes Our quick little tour here The Troubadour Thank you guys so much for watching You can go to the Troubadour website to donate

I have an autographed poster And I know everybody out there is struggling But if you got a couple extra bucks And you could send it this way This is such a legendary place And it's been such a wonderful venue For so many incredible artists

Throughout the decades And it's a huge part of Los Angeles And I don't want to see it go So if you can help me out And help them out It would be awesome Thank you so much And thank you for listening

I hope you enjoyed this tour I hope you enjoyed it And I will see you next time Bye You You You