Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 6-30-14

Episode Date: June 30, 2014

Bill rambles about his excitement for his first live podcast tomorrow JULY 1ST, EDM dj's in Las Vegas and the legal side of stealing.

Ikea, tip of the week. If you'd like to get a gift, you can count on us. Because until April 15th, Ikea family members get a free children's menu at the purchase of a warm meal for adults. Nevada. I had a wonderful weekend out here at the Mirage Casino. I want to thank everybody who came down to the shows. It was a wonderful time.

Everybody seemed to enjoy themselves. And I'm out here right now because the all-in tour, starring Jason Lawhead, Joe Bartnick, and Paul New Jersey Verzi was over at Harris. And I stopped in last night, as I said that I would. An old red face jumped up on stage in the end. Throughout a new 15, 20 minutes. I already got one new bit. I got one new bit for my next hour that I'm already loving.

And then I'm adding to it. And I'm literally, you know what's hilarious is because I don't have any material now, technically. Once my, you know, all that other shit that I just did is gone. So anything that I'm even seeing remotely funny, I'm just fucking latching onto. And so I was doing a lot of people watching last night and I was just desperately. Just anything I could think of. Like I fucking saw. But even, even I got a draw line somewhere.

Because I, like I saw this, this woman was walking through the bar at this casino we were at. And we over at Caesar's and she's walking through the bar. And this gay dude with sandals, jeans and this really fucking. I thought it was an ugly tank top, whatever he sees her. And I guess they're friends and he fucking freaks out. Oh my God runs over and fucking gives you this huge hug. And I was literally like, you know what, I want a gay friend. You know, somebody gets that fucking excited.

When I walk into a room, you know, and I was immediately go, dude, I should talk about that. I should talk, but then I actually had to stop myself just going, all right, Bill, you know what? Every stupid little thought you have does not need to go to the stage. And then I argued with myself, yeah, it does. Yeah, it does. Because I just burned fucking 90 minutes of shit. I need that. I need that bit.

I've already fucking had another half ass idea. Holy shit. Somebody just scored a goal. Sorry. In the background I have on France versus some team in lime green. Anyways, the fuck am I doing? I really shouldn't have that on. You know, I have it on in the background because I thought the USA was playing Belgium today

because I thought it was fucking Tuesday. I can't keep track of fucking anything. I have no idea. I just really have to give it to the fact that as much as I respect this sport, I just, I don't know, too busy to figure out what's going on. But the big deal, the big deal this week is tomorrow. You know, you guys for a long time, well, I can't say all year, but a few of you have asked me going, dude, why don't you do a live podcast?

Wouldn't that be cool? I would love to see a live recording of the Monday morning podcast and my thing has always been like, look, you really don't want to see me just lying on a fucking couch in my goddamn jam, jam, like I even wear those. I don't, you know, just lying here recording a podcast. It's going to be boring as shit. And then I'm also going to have to, I'm going to have to like address the crowd. The whole thing seems weird.

However, I am not against co-hosting a podcast, which is what I'm going to be doing for the first time ever, ever. I'm going to be co-hosting a live podcast for the all things comedy network at nerd melt on Sunset Boulevard. I'll have the link up and everything on the, on the podcast page and also we'll have it up on the Twitter account at M M pot, the M M podcast. And it's going to be Tuesday night, July 1st. I think it's at 8pm.

Is that what it is? Let me click on the link here, but it's going to be me and Al Madrigal and bring it on a bunch of guests from the old things comedy network. We're also going to be having an auction to raise money for some shit. I don't know what the hell it is. And it's just basically personal items that all these comedians own myself included. I think I'm donating a hockey stick. Whatever the fuck you want to give us.

We don't give a shit. You'll be actually be able to call in. We're actually going to have callers. We're going to be having live, you know, you can text us like a real radio show. Well, it says it's going to start in one day, 11 hours and 36 minutes. Jesus Christ. You just have what time it's on. How does that now?

How the fuck does that help me? Okay, I can do the math. It's eight o'clock, eight o'clock tomorrow at nerd melt. July 1st. Okay. And I think it's very, very fitting that we're having it during the week of this nation's birthday, July 4th. So everybody come down.

If you want to bid on the, the shit that we're going to be selling by all means do that. If you don't get it, whatever, just come on down and have a good time. Come down and watch the live broadcast. And I'm really looking forward to it because as of tomorrow that begins my vacation where I'm taking off the fucking summer and be going on hikes trying to get a few more freckles. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not going to be doing shit, but so anyways, let's get back to this. So I'm in Las Vegas right now.

And I have to tell you the landscape of this town just keeps changing. Like I didn't realize like out here right now, you know that DJ music. Oh my God. Oh, that shit like is the biggest fucking thing ever out here in Las Vegas right now. The highest paid entertainers are all those DJs. That shit. That shit is the biggest fucking thing. Pause.

Right. We get it Bill. Okay. Yeah. So that fucking shit is huge. There is literally out here at these these fucking clubs. I mean these these these casinos are building these clubs. They have more clubs than they actually have like legitimate DJs.

And they are there. I was literally I was reading this thing. A lot of literal stuff Bill. We get it. You're not lying to us. I was reading this article called DJ Wars inside the Las Vegas battle for the world's top electric electronic music talent. Now these fucking guys like I don't know any of them are because I'm old Afro Jack Calvin Harris. I don't know any of these guys are a couple of their songs.

I've heard them though. You know because my wife watches keeping up with the Kardashians and shit and they're always playing that in the Iranian one. The Shaz of Sunset where they got that dude the gay guy on that show looks like Freddie Mercury fuck Joseph Stalin. He looks like gay Saddam Hussein is what he looks like. He's a fucking riot because he's always stirring shit up between the ladies. He absolutely loves it and he's so fucking passive aggressive. He'll be like hey so what did Miranda say when she called you this what happened and then they just I'm doing your game. I'm doing a hacky gay accent.

He fucking I don't know whatever. Stay on the topic Bill. So these fucking DJs dude like they're making like I'm what does they say which once was 100 million. Dude that's it. Whatever they're building these these clubs. They're these giant like square rooms and they just pack in like 5000 6000 young beautiful people and the dude or whatever. I don't know if there's any women DJs. It's got to be whatever the men and women DJs go up there.

And they're not just playing records like I thought I guess that they come up with that shit. They come up with that. That's theirs. That's not a sample from like fucking John Lennon imitating one of the three stooges. This is their original shit so they fucking go up there. They're famous across I know a lot of you guys already know this shit. I know they are fucking world famous. They got to lug all their mixes and all their shit around the world that giant mouse heads and all this stuff.

And they just they go they just go out there and they play their shit and they make it a zillion dollars. So anyways out here in Vegas. That's how they're making all the money. That's how they're packing out the casinos are are these DJs and they barely promote anything else. I guess that is the deal. But they try to say that the young kids don't really gamble. And they just come out and they get fucked up and they go to these DJ shows and and they're able to make the money. But this I don't want to like name names.

I mean the article basically names names and says how much money they're making. I think that's a little fucking tacky. But they were saying one guy made like fifty eight million dollars last year playing that shit to these to these kids. And I got to tell you something. If you're in a fucking casino and they don't have that DJ music going on. I swear to God like the casinos I was in last night at forty six years of age. I was kind of like the youngest person in the casino. It was fucking unreal.

I was looking around going like where are all the where is everybody. It's just a bunch of old people just sitting there. And I guess they're all they're all at these other casinos that have these these these DJ rooms. So here's the funny thing. The typical fucking thing. So this is the so this is the big war now. So all these fucking casinos are building these giant square rooms. And then they're they're fighting over you know the top DJs to get them there.

And they're like doubling the asking prices and all that. It's going through the fucking roof. And it's literally reminding me of the stand up comedy boom. When they start when they because like right now they have more rooms than they actually have legitimate people that can fill up the rooms. And they pack in like five six thousand people a night. But I guess that's down from like seven eight thousand. And it's it's the exact same thing that I can't say I saw it in stand up comedy. But right when I started stand up comedy I started in March in nineteen ninety two.

Yeah I know I'm old. They they had basically at that point the fallout had already begun from having more comedy clubs than you actually had comedians. So what happens is obviously then you just start anybody with a pulse. They just start sticking up there behind the microphone going you know watch the deal with everything right. And and it just went down the shitter. And I just don't fucking get why they think they just they keep doing this. It's like you got a great thing. EDM electronic dance music I guess is what it's called.

And well I guess yeah because if you don't have it there's a bunch of old people like me at your fucking casino. It's I've never seen the distance between young people and old people greater in the entire time that have been coming out to Las Vegas. Which has been since the late 90s. I've never seen it bigger but used to see a decent mix of people in the casino and then like certain places like the Hard Rock Cafe casino whatever the fuck they call it. That was like the place to go and you went in there. There was a bunch of young young kids in there and by kids I just mean people in their 20s. But basically all the other ones were kind of like you know it was a decent fucking mix of people and there were people gambling. And now I don't know the tables the shit with dead granted it's a fucked up time to come out here hockey and basketball are over so a lot of the sports books are kind of drying up but like it's going to be interesting to see when this bubble burst exactly what is going to happen.

And what the fuck they're gonna they don't give a shit. I was gonna say what they were going to do with their rooms those giant square rooms what they can turn them into. So right now yeah you basically have ventriloquist or that fucking that that EDM music out here. And I don't know man it's it's a I just that that thing is going to that thing is going to fucking nose dive. It's gonna nose I mean you got to be thinking that is you just keep building another room. We're giving him 50 million will give him 60 million. This is like what the Red Sox and Yankees did the next thing you know you know you got an Eric Daniel up there fucking going to that shit then it's over. One day somebody just stands back and goes what the fuck are we doing but you got to do it.

That's what you know back when I was coming up it was that hair metal shit. Everybody blew out their hair right said something about the devil and then you had a little fucking ballad and then you shot the ballad right and the ballad was always in black and white in the beginning. And then when the guitar solo finally came in that's when it went into color. You just ride it into the fucking I think that's what you do on that side of the business. You see a trend. This is where the money's going and you just fucking jump on that horse. You don't stop for water. You just ride that thing until it fucking it dies.

Then you get off the fucking thing and you act like you never rode the horse. I can't even listen to that shit even though you made like a zillion fucking dollars off of it. So I know I'm obviously in way over my head here. I don't know what I'm talking about but I found it really fascinating and I got to tell you I'm happy for all those goddamn DJs you know. I mean you know what's great about their their their like stand up comedy bubble here this thing that they're fucking riding is they are making money. They're going to be set for life. All right. So if there's any goddamn DJs listen to this fucking thing. I better not see you on some behind the music thing talking about how you blew your 50 million dollars a fucking year.

You should be set for life. Oh my god. If I made 50 million in one fucking year. You figure all right you got to you give it away 10 to your agent 10 to your manager. That's 10 million. Now you're down to 40 million. Then the government's going to come in and they're going to fucking whack you for at least half that. So you still got like 19 million bucks.

Just go out and just buy a five billion dollar piece of product and what do you then you got to pay the property taxes on that. Someday when the DJ shit ends buy like a million dollar house and Allah fucking Bama right. Go down there in Alabama where everything's fucking cheap or Arkansas something like that. And just buy yourself a big spread pay the fucker off. And then when the whole thing goes into the shitter and nobody cares about that music anymore because it's you know you got to wait 20 years until it becomes cool again. Because it goes down the shitter and then the next decade they got to have their own personality so they they got to hate on the decade before. But the decade before the decade before is always considered cool. Right.

Like right now slowly the 90s are going to start coming back. You know like in the 90s in the 80s when I was coming up everybody was into the 60s and everybody thought the 70s sucked with disco and soft rock and all that fucking shit. And then in the 90s all of a sudden the 70s became cool again. Right. And then those all these movies like boogie nights and all that fucking stuff and all this disco music that everybody loved and then hated. Then they loved it again. So I'm calling this right now like Paul Versey this DJ music is going to be considered the shit by a certain segment of the population. Okay.

In the 2000 20s everyone was like oh my God it's fucking awful. Emperor's new clothes what was going on. Everybody stood there with glow sticks pumping their fist in the fucking air. And then the hipsters of the 2030s of the 30s they're basically going to be like. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck they're going to do. They'll be walking around with mouse heads on top of the fucking heads. G bill that's really insightful.

So you mean like nothing's going to change in the future. Yeah. That's basically what I'm saying. Go fuck yourselves. All right. This is the Monday morning podcast. If you're new to the podcast this is about as good as it gets. I hate to tell you this is this is what I'm bringing to the table.

And so if you want to leave I totally understand. And with that let's read some advertising for this week. What do we got here? Oh we only got a couple. Slowly but surely pissing all of them off. Can we get you can we get Bill on the phone. There was a few things that he said last week. Can we get him on the phone.

No. No you cannot. You cannot get me on the phone because it's my fucking podcast. And that's why I do this so I don't have a boss so I don't have to get on the phone. You want to write it on a fucking post it and you let me know what you didn't like. And then I won't read it. All right. Hulu plus everybody.

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Back to the back to the podcast. So evidently in the soccer world. The U. S. is going to be playing Belgium tomorrow in World Cup soccer. And I got to tell you it's going to be a bad burner. Don't you know it's amazing we advanced to the next round and we lost. We lost to Germany. We lost to the crowds. You know we lost to a country that didn't couldn't tell that Hitler maybe was a little

bit off. That's what we did. That's what we did on this weekend. Now you got you can't tell me and any other fucking sport. When you lose to the country that gave us eight off Hitler you are out of that tournament but not in World Cup soccer. We literally lost the game and I was saying they go fuck we lost the game and all of a sudden our whole team is smiling and clapping.

You know we lost to the country that gave us Rudolph Hess. You know what happens. We all start fucking clapping and somehow I don't know we ended up advancing because Turks and Caicos lost to Cucamonga. So now we move on. All right. And to be fair to Germany I got to tell you I don't think anything makes up. For the Nazis.

But damn close is the Mercedes Benz and the Porsche. I got to tell you their cars. Their cars are fucking incredible. And by the way if you guys want to write into the podcast and you want to send in a question or maybe help me with some of my World Cup football knowledge here the email is bill at the M.M. podcast. That is the email.

And if you'd like to follow the Monday morning podcast see all the links and all that type of shit. Just go to the M.M. at the M.M. podcast on Twitter. Sorry. Anyways plowing ahead. So somehow we made it to the next round to the round of 16 now as far as I know I don't

think that we've ever advanced beyond the round of 16 maybe back in the 1930s shit we maybe even won it. I don't think we did back when they played soccer and they wore like suspenders to hold up their trousers you know people had homemade shoes I don't know. So anyways we're playing Belgium and this is another one where I'm just like you know what how the fuck can we lose to a country that can't even come up with an original flag. Their flag is basically Germany's flag and they just turned it you know to the side rather than having the bars going horizontal.

They just haven't gone right side up as far as I know when I look at it that to me that's the German flag. I didn't realize it's Belgium you know it's called the officially the kingdom of Belgium to federal monarchy in Western Europe it's a monarchy so I mean is it even a goddamn monarchy? The fuck is a monarchy? Isn't that when like one guy is somehow running everything? A monarchy is a form of government in which sovereignty is actually a nominally embodied

and a single individual yeah the monarch so rather than a president so who do you have? Oh Jesus look at all these fucking people. Good Lord. Good Lord. That's not a fun page. So who the fuck's your monarch? So no matter what this guy does this dude stays in office. Ah Jesus Christ there's no fucking way we're losing this this this country they got one guy

they make be you know it's overrated Belgium beer at least the shit that we have over here it's too goddamn sweet these fucking hipsters walking around drinking it these giant bottles of the shit. I'm just kidding I would actually love to go to Belgium and but as far as I know Jean-Claude Van Damme and the Battle of the Bulge those are the two things I know about Belgium and now I know that you guys you live under a monarchy. Historically Belgium the Netherlands and Luxembourg were also known as the low countries. Oh shit they're fucking they were them in trash talking you which used to cover a somewhat larger area.

Wait what are the low countries makes up a coastal region in northwestern Europe. Oh that's great so that's that's considered low. To me geographically when I look at a map and you're talking low that's the southern hemisphere. I know I'm a moron who gives a shit you know I really thought I was going to be able to look at this goddamn page here on YouTube on YouTube I mean on Wikipedia. So what have they done here history politics geography economy military. Now at some point they had to be running shit some point everybody was running shit right. Military the Belgian armed forces have about 47000 active troops all that's adorable.

In 2010 Belgium's defense budget total 3.95 euros. Jesus Christ dude. I know like 10 comedians that could pay for their entire military budget. Those fucking DJs those goddamn DJs. They could they could do like five shows over there. That's how that's how you survive when the bubble bursts on the fucking EDM. Music bubble there is you just during this time you donate to the Belgium armed forces. And you pay for them and then you'll be you'll be like David Hasselhoff in Germany.

Like you'll just be famous forever Jerry Lewis in France. Anyways he said they are organized into one unified structure which consists of four main components land component or the army. Okay the Air Force the Navy and the medical component. All right the effects of World War two made collective security a priority. Jesus Christ you didn't figure that out after the first one even France made the magical line. It didn't work so well. It just kind of flew over it. In March 1948 Belgium signed the Treaty of Brussels and then joined NATO in 1948.

However the integration of the armed forces into NATO did not begin until after the Korean War. The Belgians along with the Luxembourg government sent a detachment of battalions trying to fit the Korean. Yeah that basically not doing shit over there. Wait dude if you only got three and a half million people in your armed forces or you only spend that much money you get 48,000 people in your armed forces. I mean that's such a small pool to pick from. Dude this is going to be an absolute fucking disgrace if we lose. This is like losing to the United States. Okay the collective talent of the United States played like Kentucky.

There's no way we could. I'm definitely watching this fucking game. It's on at 9 a.m. tomorrow. I think I'll be flying. You know what? I guess I got to sign up for Hulu Plus over there. So anyways let's get back to Vegas out here. I had a great time last night.

I did a surprise, not so surprise guest spot on the fucking, what the fuck, the all in tour. Can you tell I've been drinking again? Drinking again? Oh baby I'm drinking again. I went 73 fucking days without the booze. And Verzi Bartnick and Lawhead all came in Saturday night after my second show over here at the Mirage. And I came back to my room and I was waiting for them. They were on their way up.

Jay opened for me. All right. So all the fucking maniacs were out here. And I'm sitting there with the lovely Nia and she's going, I'm tired. I'm like I'm tired too. I swear to God if these guys weren't in town I would just go to bed. And they showed up. We had a couple of drinks.

I met some cigars sitting on the table and I go to my wife. Hey, you know, let's just, we're just going to go outside, smoke this cigar. I'll be back in a couple hours or whatever. And that was like it. I don't know what that was. That was probably just a little bit after midnight. And I don't, you know, I started drinking and I just became that guy, that guy who just wants to keep going and does not want to go home. And Bartnick was joking said what we did was basically they could have shot a commercial for Las Vegas is what we did.

I have to say it. We did an, we just did old school Vegas shit that was not old school when I first started coming to Vegas, but I've been out here for 15 years and like the new schools going to that DJ shit. So I don't even know what the fuck we did. We somehow, I think we ended up over the Venetian and we were already smoking cigars. I don't really remember. I was just pounding. Where were we? I played roulette somewhere and I made money.

Then I cashed out. Then we went over to the Venetian and I remember playing craps, throwing the dice. I just kept going. Hey, I started yelling at everybody saying I'm throwing numbers over here. Right. I just started throwing. I did what I always did. I bet the six, the eight in the past bar.

I should have bet the point. Twice. I threw like fucking, I don't know, 12, 15 numbers in a row. You know, I was bullshit, man. I had like five bucks on each fucking thing or whatever. I made, and I made a couple hundred bucks because I was too drunk to realize like, Bill, you know what? You're feeling it. Why not throw down a little bit more?

But I didn't. I just remember people on the other end of the table were going, Hey, hey, you're Bill Burr. You're throwing. I go, that's right there. Button down. I'm throwing numbers. I was talking shit. I was having a hell of a time.

Tipping people doing what you're supposed to do. Laughing my ass off. I made money. I went back over cashed out. I had like fucking three $100 bills in my pocket after starting off with my own hundreds. So I guess I was up to 100 bucks. And then all of a sudden this shady dude comes up to us who had this weird little sort of zipper scar on his nose. And he's handing us a fucking flyer.

Oh, wait, somewhere in there, I met these two agent chicks and I talked them back into their dreams. I can't answer that. She was an accountant. She wanted to be in fashion. I was like, so go do that. She's like, do you really think I care? I'm like, yeah, you totally can. Just keep your day job and just start working on the fashion thing.

And then eventually fashion thing will surpass your other thing. She was like, you're so awesome. And all I'm thinking in my head is this is why that fucking guy was able to buy with a Houston rocket. She used to play and go in there and talk about Jesus. What the fuck is that guy's name? You know that guy, you know. Oh, what is his fucking name? He's got the squinty eyes.

He closes his eyes and he sits there. You know, Jesus, won't you to have a popsicle? He won't. All you got to do is just tell people what they want to hear. And I was totally sincere. When I told this woman to go follow her dreams, but I didn't really give her any sort of concrete plan. All I did was just tell her that she could do it. And it made her feel good.

So I did do a good thing. But you know something? If the bottom falls out of standup comedy, that's what I'm going to. I'm going to turn into a motivational speaker. I would absolutely crush it because I already know how to make people laugh. And then rather than being a negative cunt, I would totally turn it. I would finally take off like, you know, you know, in Spider-Man, where's that black suit? And he can't control it.

And he starts acting like a cunt, you know, starts talking shit to women and spraying web web juice in their face. Then he goes back to the classic red and blue. And then he's like, oh, I'm sorry about that, sweetie. Let me get that. Oh my God, the fucking iPhone. I get it. I heard the first fucking one. Jesus fucking Christ.

Why does it do that? It rings and then you don't pick it up. I literally push the fucking button and say, I don't want to. You know what's funny? Some DJ that boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. They could turn that into a hit song. And if you'd be, you know, like they could blend that with guns and roses, whatever the fuck that sweet child of mine, which by the way, I heard the blending of that last night at this bar that I was at.

And I literally thought that somebody had put on two fucking stereos at the same time, stereos. That's how old I am. And I got to be honest with you, it sounded like absolute shit. That was not a good example of that. It fucking annoys the shit out of me when young kids think that that's fucking amazing. When somebody blends this album with that album and they can't fucking believe it. Like, oh shit, how did they do that? It's like, well, you basically, you find two songs that are the same tempo.

You know, that's all you need. If they're the same tempo, they'll all fit. That's it. So that's your homework this week. Some up and coming DJ, I want you to have a hit. I want you to get out here to Vegas and starts vacuuming up all this money that they're throwing at these DJs out here. Take that fucking boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, whatever the fuck that is. You know, and blend that with Lawrence Welk's Winchester Cathedral or whatever the fuck you want to do with it.

I don't give a shit. The hell was I talking about? God damn it. I was on my way to talking about something here. Ah, it gives a fuck. Let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just plow ahead here, shall we? By the way, I've mentioned this before. For both men and women, there is a certain age where you just have to, you got to act your age when it comes to dressing. Okay?

Like right now I am in my mature years. Okay? And women my age are in their elegant years. When you get past a certain age as a woman, you should dress elegantly. Do not try to dress like hotly, I guess is the word. And I should not try to dress like I'm still a fucking stud. You know, like I don't want to take a nap every day in the afternoon. Like after 1130, I don't feel like just going back to the bed, the bedroom, you know, the hotel room, whatever the fuck I'm trying to say.

Right? Like I really want to stay out all fucking night. Oh shit, I didn't finish that fucking story. So this guy with a goddamn zipper star scar on his fucking nose. He convinces us to go to a titty bar, which really wasn't difficult. And next thing you know, we're in this fucking titty bar. And on these women were really goddamn aggressive. Like the second you sat down, one of them sat in your lap.

And I was like, it was really, I'd be honest with you, it's fucking suffocating. I actually just kind of like, hey, can you fucking let me just get my bearings here. Before you put, quit trying to shake your tits. They're fake. They're not moving. All right. What do you do next? Shake your elbow.

So anyways, we're in this fucking place. And I don't know. I mean, we're all guys, we don't give a fuck. Next thing you know, it's like six o'clock in the goddamn morning, six something. We came walking out. It was broad daylight. And I'm sitting there like, the only thing I can relate it to was when I was playing up in Alaska, when, when it was that one of those times a year where I had like 22 hours

of sunlight and you were inside the club and you're drinking and it's about two in the morning like, all right guys, I'm tired. I'm going to bed and then you would walk outside. You'd open the door into broad daylight and immediately your body's clock. You would wake up instead of two in the afternoon to two at night. It seemed like two in the afternoon. It was the only way I could describe it. And I walked out and all I heard was Kevin Shea's maniacal fucking laugh at like how light it was out.

So that was my basically that was my first night out here. And I got to be honest with you, I'm still recovering from it. And that was two goddamn days ago. Last night after our show, I was just like, I sat down and I got something to eat. One Budweiser and then I went to bed and I was fucking psyched to come back and go to bed. So that goes back to what I was talking about. So I have to dress maturely. All right.

Not like I was ever a guy walking around a tank top. I didn't, I didn't have any fucking pigment, you know, but I got to tell you, you go down in the pool. Some people, I don't know if they just have, they just, they can't see it or if they just don't give a fuck. Some of the shit that people wear it down by a goddamn pool. I mean, it's just like, can you put that all of that shit away? Can you put it away? Half the people at the pool should be wearing like one of those bathing suits from the roaring 20s. You know, where it was basically, it was kind of a mechanic suit.

Like that Fonzie used to wear that onesie zip up, except you would cut the sleeves off and you would cut the legs off. That's what guys would wear. Women would wear the same thing and they'd have a little frilly thing going around the outside. Now it's unreal, man. Oh Jesus, my generation. Whew, it's, it's ugly. The tramp stamps, the barbed wire tattoo around your arm. It's just, it's not a good fucking look.

It's just not a good look. But anyway, so let's get, let's get to some of the reeds here today because I'm actually going to go out with the fellas today. And I think we're going to go shoot machine guns. Because why wouldn't you? You know, either that I'm going to look at some fucking classic cars, one or the other. All right, let's get on with the, the reeds for this week. Books. Oh Jesus.

Oh Jesus. Now you guys know better than to bring up books to me. You really do, right? All right, Billy Shakespeare. Enjoy your last recommendation because I'm also a World War two buff. I'm currently reading Kevin Pollock's biography. I have to light things up once in a while. All right.

Also, you should have him on your podcast or be on his video podcast. Oh shit. Yeah. I mean, if a fucking movie star wants me to be on his podcast, yeah, I would do that. Anyways, he says, my question is, do you have any new book recommendations? Ah, fuck. I saw one the other day that made me want to read it. What the hell was it?

Fuck. I don't know. I can't keep track of the amount of shit that is interest. Interesting me right now. Like now that I'm going to be home for July, I really want to get in good shape. And so I'm thinking about, you know, trying to go veggie for a little bit, learn how to eat that way. And then gradually work meat back in, but just eat in general, just eat way more healthy

than I have been eating in the past. But I got to tell you last night that burger fries. Oh Jesus, was that good? I mean, is there anything fucking better than just a straight up fucking cheeseburger with some French fries? Well done. Go fuck yourself. I mean, I swear, if I was on death row, I think that that would be my meal.

Burger and fries. Well done. And then some fucking mint chocolate chip ice cream. You know, and then what's hilarious is as they're walking you down to the electric chair, you know, please, please, I'll do this. You already got me in a cage. I don't know what I do. I probably, yeah, I think that maybe that's what I would have.

I probably have to have a beer too. And a great glass. That is so weird that you get a last fucking meal. You know, you obviously did something so fucking horrific that the other person did get a last fucking meal. Why do why do we do that? So anyways, yeah, I've been looking at all kinds of shit. What is a fuck?

What is the book? I should have wrote it down. It was yet again some new thing that interests me. And there was a great book about the whole kind of history of it. Fuck, what was it? Whatever. I'll post it. Well, that was really a fucking dick tease.

Wasn't it? I wasn't able to remember. All right, you want to go to just answer it somehow. What I'm really into right now, what I'm trying to learn how to do is I'm trying to, like all I know how to make is heart attack food. So I actually looked up a thing here. Keena was salad, light and healthy summer recipe. I got to wait here because everybody calls me a fucking twinkle toes. It actually looks fucking delicious.

It's a high source of protein and I got to tell you who the fuck doesn't want to be in shape. You know, and this is all of this stuff. This is, you know, be a fucking man eat a cheeseburger your fucking douche, right? You having a Keena was salad. Tony, if you make this shit, you just got to sit in your fridge and ready to start to get hungry. If you just shovel some of that crap down your throat, all the bad urges are now put at bay. And you're like, oh, thank God, thank God I did that. Thank God I did that.

I didn't fucking have the waffle fries, you know, on top of fucking pancakes or whatever the fuck you're going to have. No, I really want to, you know, rather than doing like a fad diet. My wife, you know, she came out here for a couple of days and she just went back because now I'm hanging out with the fellas. And she left this us weekly magazine. And there's a picture of J Lo on the cover says J Lo's new body at 44, the single star kickstarted her diet with a 22 day cleanse. Get the fuck out of here. I ain't doing that. Now friends are already fixing her up with DWTS's makes whatever the fuck that means dances with the stars.

Anyways, first of all, her face, she doesn't even look the same and she looks slightly Asian now. But anyways, she, she did some sort of veggie diet and they had the website to it. So I clicked on the link going, I want a vegan thing. I want to learn how to do this shit. I'd like to date. I'd like to date a fella from dancing with the stars with his little shirts. Come on over here. I'll spin you around the dance floor there.

Cliffy. Anyways, I look it up and I go to the website and it's a bunch of those fucking stupid protein bars and I don't know shit about nutrition. I'm going to tell you those fucking protein bars and that goddamn whey powder and all of that. None of that shit is good for you. I'm going to go out on a fucking limb and say that there's going to be a bunch of studies. I already saw Dr. Oz where they were saying that all that protein power in that way shit. It's not regulated by the FDA food drug administration or whatever. Right.

And even if it was half the fucking people who sit on the board of that used to work for like fruit loops. And I know I'm overly simplifying that, but they basically have the nuts running the nut house like they've completely infiltrated all of that shit. These evil ass fucking corporations. Oh shit. That's what I can. That's what I can recommend reading. I got this magazine and it's just talking about, you know, basically the 10 worst corporations out there. And for me, dude, this is the real deal shit.

I got to hit pause because I want to show you guys this magazine here. Where the fuck is my recorder? Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Okay. I'm back through the magic, through the magic of technology hitting the pause button.

I am back. I'm putting on my headphones. Hang on. Here we go. So the name of the magazine is called ad busters. Terrible fucking name. I understand that, but this just has like, you know, it says something dumb in this issue of ad busters. We're going to do something that hasn't been done for over 100 years.

We're going to kill off one corporation. So already you're like, oh, Jesus. And it says, which one will it be and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, but beyond that, like they actually think that they're going to kill off a fucking corporation. It's like, no, you're not. No, you're not. This corporation is going to kill you and me way before you're able to kill it off. This, this, this magazine, absolutely fucking fascinating cover to cover. And of all the shit and how out of control some of these, these, these top corporations are not saying they're all bad, but I am telling you, like this, this right here to me, this is the real deal.

Where everybody's on fucking TV and they sit there and they're talking about Obama, this or George Bush, that and Democrat, Republican, conservative, liberal. All of that is a bunch of fucking, it's just, it's bullshit. It's all bullshit. Okay. The president makes 400 fucking grand a year. He gets another 100 grand for like food and travel or something like that. Okay. And he's supposed to somehow keep in control people who are getting $10 million bonuses.

All right. This shit right here and these guys here, these, all these corporations, all these banks and all this type stuff, they got money on both sides of the ball. It doesn't make a fucking bit of difference. Okay. If the president is a Democrat, the president is a Republican. The president is a libertarian. The president's a man, a woman, white, black, Asian. It doesn't fucking make a big bit of difference.

They make 400 fucking grand a year. All right. And their job is basically to get yelled at. That's their fucking job to get blamed for everything that's going wrong. And it's, I know 100% fucking believe that. And if you don't believe that, I think that you, you're a, I can't help you. I can't fucking help you. You, you're an adult and you still believe in Santa Claus.

That's how I look at it. So that is what I am reading. And that right there, I'm going to read that shit. And that's going to go into my, my stupid fucking brain. And, you know, I already have a nice chunk that I'm starting to build for my next hour. And that's basically, that's how I do it. I just fucking, I just, I'll read shit on a quinoa salad. And then I'll read why Exxon is the most evil corporation fucking ever.

And then I just sort of mash them together like a DJ. Oh my God, how did he do that? He put quinoa salad next to Exxon. Um, sorry, I don't have his fucking, that was even annoying to me. And I love myself. All right. Dating a girl who was very hot and very, very dumb. Hey there, Billy banana split.

I have an issue at some point. I'm going to fucking list all the names, the nicknames you guys have given me through. Out the weeks here. Um, I have an issue with the girl. I recently started dating and I need some major advice. I'm 25 years old and I met a 21 year old girl in my city. She's way out of my league. Don't ever say that.

Don't ever say that about yourself. All right. Your self-esteem is not at the level that you need to date this woman. All right. Or maybe just be a nice, she's way out of my league, but it's extremely fun to hang out with and can drink with the best of my guy friends. I used to question, I used to get questions from my guy friends like, dude, seriously, how did you get her?

Uh, you're a big headed boozehound with a gut and she's actually good looking. Dude, this is great so far. He goes, well, I think I may have found my answer. She is extremely dumb. Oh man. That's like you find a classic car and the fucking engine is seized. You go to start it up and it just doesn't run. You go, look at, look at, look at, look at that grill.

Anyways, well, I think I may have found my answer. She's extremely dumb. For example, at her work, a tanning place, she does word searches from kids, kids books. Oh no. You know, the kind you find on a kid's menu at the, at the Olive Gad. Um, oh my God. She couldn't follow the plot of the movie, the sandlot. She's showing more and more signs that she is about as smart as your average eighth grader,

including not knowing what the word punctuation meant. Should I look past it and keep dating her or move on to a girl I can actually have age appropriate conversations with. I have a, I'm having a lot of fun with her, but this is starting to worry me. Thanks and go fuck yourself. All right. You're giving me conflict. I know she's beautiful and all that type of stuff. And then, but then also you're saying that you are having a lot of fun with her hot.

What is the fun? Is she legitimately fun to be with? It makes you smile. You know, it makes you feel a little bit lighter. You know, you don't got the weight of the world on your shoulders. I mean, that's a big thing. But if you're having fun with her cause she's hot and you think she's out of your league and you're enjoying having sex with her. Look, as I saw down at the Vegas pool countless times this weekend, looks are the first thing that go.

So in the end of it, you're going to want to have somebody that you can talk to and you can hang out with. And you can be friends with and that type of thing. So like, look, if she's a little ditzy or whatever, I mean, that's not the worst thing. I mean, if maybe that's what you need, someone's a little bit lighter. But like, if she literally doesn't know what the word punctuation means, I, you know, I understand your concerns because when you, if you marry and you have kids, like half of that brain is going into your kid. Like, I don't think I would want to be the smartest person in my family. I would like everybody to kind of be on the same playing field.

And that is the thing that that is the thing when you go to marry somebody is, you know, whatever brain they have, whatever skills they have, like that's going to be 50%. Like I've said that before, like with like Michael Jordan's son, like, I bet he got a lot of shit because he wasn't as good as his dad. And it's like, that's not my fault that I'm 50% my mom, you know, it's like drugs that have been stepped on. It's not pure cocaine anymore. It's got a bunch of X lax in there. So I would say it's beginning to worry you. Well, that doesn't sound like you're ready to break up with her yet. And I would keep an eye on those concerns.

I don't know, but you don't want to break her heart or anything. You know what, dude, you know what you're thinking. Come on. You know what you're thinking. Either you can look past it because she's fun. And she makes your day lighter, which is the greatest goddamn thing you can find. You know, or it's really bugging you, but she's just hot and you're staying with it because of that. You know, when I was at the, down the casino this, uh, last night when I was at Caesars, I saw like a bunch of old people there.

And I saw a couple of old people walking by and they still, one of them had his arm around his wife. Another one was holding their hands. And I remember thinking like that going, that's fucking awesome. That right there is what life is all about. If you fucking can somehow get that, you know, the end of your life, you still love the person that you're with. You can go to Vegas and have a good time. You know, you did it. You hit the fucking lottery.

So good luck to you, sir. Um, I hope, I don't know, I hope it works out for you. I'm rooting for you. Here we go. Pot smoking step son. Hey there, Billy sizzle chest. All right. A jerky boys reference.

I like it. If you and the lovely Nia would address my question, I would be honored. Well, she's back in LA and I'm hanging out with the fellas. I am the stepfather to a troubled and slightly delayed 16 year old. Think toddler mentality mentality tantrums with only a slightly more advanced intellect. I confronted him last night after I smelled a distinct aroma of weed coming from hang on. Hey, Verzi, I'm wrapping up my podcast. Let me call you in about 10 minutes.

All right. Cool. Um, said, if you and the lovely Nia, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, I confronted him, uh, him last night after I smelled a distinct aroma of weed coming from the basement. Oh, Jesus. Previously I'd questioned him after he had masked it with a, with Cologne, which he always denied. He finally admitted his use and that he had been buying from a classmate. His mother, whom I love dearly and with whom I have two kids of my own, ages six and eight, seems to think that this is

not a bad thing given what we have endured with him. Uh, I won't go into all the details, but the cops have been to our house three times in the last six months for his violent behavior, breaking shit in our house and threatening suicide. Oh my God. Dude, I think you need to talk to a professional here tackling his mother and spitting in our faces. His dad beat him physically two years ago, which has resulted in him cutting all, all ties with that side of his family. She objects to the prescribed medication and thinks that weed could be the answer to mellow out his ADHD or Asperger's. I think it would only further complicate the problem and lead to harder drug use.

We've been to multiple doctors and counselors, which have pretty much all suggested medication. We've even tried Eastern medicine and now you don't have all the details, but am I right in my thinking? I told him if he tests positive, he will be out of the house. Ah, Jesus, dude, this is way beyond my shit. Okay, you need to talk to a professional, but having said that, if you want my opinion, knowing full well that I am not a doctor, I don't fucking know what I'm talking about. Um, I think this kid needs, uh, some understanding rather than threats at this point. Uh, I granted, I know he's attacked you physically and spit your face and all that type of shit.

Um, yeah, I don't know what I would. I mean, personally, I would rather he smoked weed than went on some fucking medicine because all that shit is new and they don't know what it does to you yet. And, uh, I'd be afraid if it was going to just kind of make him catatonic. Um, so I would really research whatever the hell you're going to have him put into his body, but like, I don't think that his acting out is crazy. I mean, can you imagine that your parents get divorced and trying to have a relationship with your dad and your dad beats the shit out of you. It gives your own father who's supposed to love you unconditionally beats the shit out of you. Like, I don't even know how the hell I could wrap my head around that. Um, and then he probably resents you because he wants his real dad, but then his real dad doesn't love.

That kid's in a hell of a place mentally. Um, I know you have to be stern with them, but I would maybe try to talk to him and maybe you could do this considering you're not his real dad. Like just try to talk to him man to man and, uh, just try to build some sort of relationship where, uh, he kind of opens it up where you guys can actually sit down and maybe you can share some of the shit that happened to him. And when you were a kid that disappointed you, I don't know if it's going to pale in comparison to his shit, but, uh, dude, that's really beyond where the fuck I'm at. I can't help you necessarily with that, but, um, I wouldn't be closed off to weed though. You know, I would much rather have a kid of mine smoke and weed than to be on some sort of medicine. Um, look, basically in life, there's a line. Okay.

And you have the, this illegal and legal. All right. But they're both the same. You know, like the smartest mobsters in the world went legit. And what they did was they got onto the legal side of stealing. So now you don't have to hide your money. You don't have to wash it. You don't have to come up with all this shit.

You don't have to have leg breakers. Okay. You don't need leg breakers anymore because the law is on your side when you steal, you have the cops, you have the court system, you have all of that shit that will just go over and pick this person up and handle it. Um, and you can go out and go buy a big giant fucking house and you don't have to worry about people going, where'd you get the money for that? Okay. And that exists with extortion that exists with, uh, like loan sharking, all of that banking is just legalized loan sharking. It's all the same fucking scam and they don't need leg breakers anymore because they got the cops because it's legal. So the same thing is going on with like drugs and all of that type of shit.

These guys are legal drug dealers. So now they don't have to have, you know, fucking machine guns and all this type of shit looking out for the cops and all that. They're on the legal side of this stuff. And that shit is, uh, you know, like I mentioned before in the FDA, you have people on that board that used to work for these fucking drug companies. And, you know, they get kickbacks. Look at these fucking presidents. President's brings four, 500 grand fucking year and all of them are multimillionaires and all of them at the end of their careers, they go out and they give speeches for like a million dollars a fucking night. What the fucking you say in an hour?

That's worth a million dollars. You're giving a speech. You should almost have to pay somebody a thousand bucks to listen to it because it's going to be boring as shit. But that's basically that is the legal kickback. You know, hey, push this through. Look the other way so we can make this a million dollars and get our yachts. And then when you fucking leave office, we will then hire you at our company to talk for an hour. We won't even listen when we're looking at our fucking iPhones.

And when it's done, we're going to give you a sack of fucking money. I mean, that's basically what's going on. So when you go into the getting your kid on drugs, you have to understand that that's the world that you're going into. And even though that it's legal and everybody has lab coats and they got degrees on the walls, it's still a filthy, filthy fucking business. And it's getting fucking worse. And that's why I'm telling you, you're seeing people OD and again the way you did back in the 60s when the fucking the first sort of like pills that wave of pills came out and everybody. The doctors would just prescribe them. Oh, you got a nervous condition and then they didn't know not to take him with alcohol.

That's like all these fucking people who are OD and out there. Like 10 years ago, like wouldn't have ODed in that way because all of a sudden there's these new fucking drugs and they're all coming through and they're all getting pushed through because it's a bunch of fucking money at stake. Okay, I know I'm a moron, but that's basically what's going on. So I would. And then I feel on the other side where weed is becoming legal. It's becoming safer with like, like if you want your kids to smoke weed, like I would get him like a, I get him a vaporizer. So it's just the shit that he needs to get him high. And if it mellows him out and he's not going to flip the fuck out because what weeds doing whatever drug they're going to give you is kind of kind of do the same thing, right?

Just make this kid fucking relaxed. I know that's that's my two cents. That's probably worth half a cent, but that's what I think on that shit. All right, fresh start. Yo, Billy Jean. I can, I can really use your advice. I'm 19 years old and have been a wreck since I graduated. I can't land a job to save my life.

And all my friends, all my friendships are down in the dumps. My family, my family is very religious. So talking to them about this issue will go nowhere, but Jesus and God. Oh, it will go nowhere except but Jesus and God. So I'm asking you because at least you can give me a whole new look. I really want a fresh new start in a new town, but don't know how to make a fresh start. I'm a loner type of guy because growing up I had no one to talk to because my parents worked a lot. So they would leave me at home alone after I came from school and I have no siblings.

And most of my high school, I got treated like shit. Jesus Christ, dude, I could really use your type of advice, what to do to get a fresh start to help me. Thanks and go fuck yourself. All right, here we go. Okay, so the fact that you're a loner, that's actually a good thing in a way. It's hurting you in certain areas, but it also can help you as far as like being comfortable being alone actually makes you strong. All right, but there's like with anything you have to do it in moderation. So what I'm worried with you is you're going to go out and you want a fresh start.

You think and I got to get out of this town because I have all these bad memories here. So I need a fresh start. That's a great thing to do. All right, but when you go there, if you keep the same mindset of isolating yourself and all that type of stuff, you're going to you're going to. If you don't change your game plan, it'd be like if you were a football coach and you lost the game in Florida. Okay, you lost to the Miami Dolphins. And next week you're going all the way to Seattle to play the Seahawks, but you're going to use the exact same game plan. You're going to fucking lose again.

So if I was you, I would try to open up more, try to get some new friends as far as I would try to do something social, something that you like. If you're into sports, join a softball league or something like that. If you're into fucking rock climbing, join a rock climbing gym. And I'm all over the board here, but basically get involved in some sort of group activity. And I don't know, and open up to your friends and just be honest to say, listen, man, I'm trying to be more social. All right, I grew up by myself. I didn't have a good experience and all the stuff you just told me, you just tell people, you don't dump it on them. Like when you first fucking meet them, just be matter of fact, just being, yeah, you know, I got to, I got to break out of this.

Because someday I'd like to have a, you know, wife and family or whatever, you know? But as far as, well, the only way I can relate to moving and having a fresh new start, I would just compare to what I moved from my parents' house down to New York City. What I basically did was I paid down all of my debt and this took me a couple of years. I paid it all down and then I started saving up money. And so when I moved down to New York, I had like this nest egg and I didn't have this stress. And I could actually just, you know, jump in my piece of shit, 83 Ford Ranger. Oh, no, wait, that thing, it burned down by then. I went down in a fucking U-Haul.

That's right. And I just moved someplace and started over again. I would encourage you to get, try to force yourself to come out of your shell. And you know what? You can do that in your hometown. You can actually create some, some good memories from when you're there. You basically, you have all that power. You just don't realize it because you're young, you know, and you were a little kid and shit was bad. And you don't have any frame of reference and your parents didn't give you any tools to learn how to overcome shit, to think positively and all that type of stuff.

So I do whatever the fuck you could. I would read self-help books. I would just flood myself with positive thoughts and pay attention to what my brain was telling me. And you turn that minus sign into a plus sign. That's kind of what you got to do. You got to beat the shit out of that negative voice because you kind of stuck in this rut is what I would guess. But the great thing is you're totally in control and you can fucking turn it around and I'm not going to lie to you. It's a bitch took me took me a long time to become the positive cunt that I am right today. About to learn how to make a quinoa salad.

All right, last but not least is the last one here. Fat shaming won't work. Hey, Billy bench press. Here is my conundrum and I need your help and maybe the help of the lovely Nia on how to handle a situation with my wife. My wife has been really down lately about her weight. She's probably put on 20 pounds in the past two years and is having trouble getting rid of it before Nia jumps all over me. Jeez, Nia has a rep now, huh? For jumping all over people. Let me state that not once have I made an issue made this an issue and I tell her all the time she's beautiful. Her weight gain is has not bothered me in the slightest as I barely noticed it.

The problem is it has killed her attitude and it's been the subject slash starting point for many fights. I get blamed for not helping her even though I cook all healthy meals each day. And when I call her up for not going to the gym enough or eating the wrong shit, she flips out. I try to stay as positive as I can, but I can only take the verbal beating for so much more before I snap back and tell her to stop blaming me for her issues. Any idea how I can handle this situation, not sure who I should turn to. But just but since she is a Gemini, I thought you were the man for the job. Thanks for everything and go fuck yourself. All right, this is what I would do.

I would go out to your local CVS or even that maybe a card store where you can write something original. All right, and get something nice and loving on the cover. And then you write from your heart how much you love her on the inside. All right, something really quick. And then you have an attached note. And in the note, you basically in a calm, positive way, express the fact that you're worried about her and you really want. And it kills you that she's not happy and you love her. So when she's not happy, you're not happy and you want to help and you feel like basically where she's at.

What you told me where she's at right now mentally is preventing you from helping her and that you don't want to fight. And this is the bottom I do. It's only 20 pounds. I mean, that's a fucking joke. You know, she can get that off. She just, you know, and obviously she wants to, she sounds like a really strong person. And most people who are strong, you know, their Achilles heel is the fact that they can't, you know, when if they've been strong their whole life, when there's a sign of weakness is shown, they get super insecure and super defensive.

And there's nothing out there that is going to show you weakness or a flaw quicker than putting on weight because it's not like, okay, this social issue that only comes up in a certain thing. It's what you look like when you walk around. And I'm sure most of the world is not even noticing or whatever, but to her, she sees it constantly. So it's beyond just a pound thing. It's a mental fucking weight on her head. So I would try to, in a positive way, open the doors to some new line of communication. And you really have to extra be on your game because she might lash out at you. Even if she's receptive to this, she might go back to the other thing and it's going to be really hard.

But what you have to do, considering she's losing her cool is you have to stay extra cool to kind of balance it out and just sit there and let her yell at you and say all type of stuff. And it just, if you just sit there and you say nothing, okay, and you just let her go and you're just sitting there and you wait for her to finish. And you just, rather than taking what she's saying personally, you analyze it and just be like, okay, right, you know, that's another example. I'm not trying to nitpick. That's another example right there where I am trying to help you and I need you to stay calm, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're not feeding the fire and it kind of hopefully will just burn itself out. And fortunately, she's a woman.

So I think she's going to be way more receptive to this line of line of attack, because it's socially acceptable for a woman to be weak or admit to weaknesses where a guy, you know, we're supposed to be fucking John Wayne. You know, eating steaks a whole life, sitting there with the fucking head wound going, it doesn't hurt, you know, so that's what I would do. I would really, you know, and then I'm not saying that you just have to sit there like a bitch either. Like there will be times where you just have to sit up and just say, listen, you're saying a bunch of mean things to me right now, which is going to possibly cause me to say mean things back to you, which I don't want to do. So I'm going to go for a walk and when you calm down, you know, I would love to sit down this because I'm going to help you through this. All right. And just, you know, walk out as she's screaming and yelling at you and just go for a walk. You know, just go for a fucking walk, give her a good fuck in two hours to calm down and then just come back and sit down and I wouldn't even bring it up.

And I'd wait for her to bring it up and then just let her say her shit. And I, and I, if you just keep doing that, I think hopefully that'll, that'll get you the way you want to be. I don't fucking know, but I definitely wouldn't do the fat shame. A thing that I do in this, this case scenario. So anyways, that is the podcast for this weekend. Listen, everybody, I really want to promote this thing because it helps see all things comedy network, any tickets that we sell help us to run the. The all things comedy network. We do have some tickets left for the show tonight.

I'm sorry. The show tomorrow, July 1st at nerd melt. Come on down. It's going to be a great show going to interact with the crowd. We're going to be raising money for some fucking charity, which I of course don't know. I don't have the information, but it's going to be great. It's a great way to kick off your July. Come on down to nerd melt on sunset.

We're going to have the link up and all that type of crap. That is it. And we'd love to sell out the first one. Okay. That is it. That is the podcast for this week. Go fuck yourself Belgium. You make great beer.

You got a hell of a monarch, but your soccer team is going to lose tomorrow. I'm calling it right now. We're going to get to the round of eight and it's going to take me at least three days to get that information that had actually happened. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you next week.