Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 6-6-22

Episode Date: June 7, 2022

Bill rambles about playoffs, double double espressos, and national donut day....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey what's going on it's Bill Byrne it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday June 6th 2022 are you guys like me how many fucking buttons do you have to shut off before the fucking TV's off off off off menu off off menu guide off can I help you with something is there something you're trying to do anyway I've been watching NBA all of that shit you guys watching that shit the series is all tied up at what I actually had a great realization in in game 2 is that I just don't I just don't give a fuck about the pro game I'm just not into it I just I am not built to watch an NBA playoff game that my team is in
Starting point is 00:01:02 win or lose I'm just emotionally I am not mature enough I have kids I just I can't do it so I like every fucking year like all going all the way back to Dennis Rodman there's these guys in the league that deliberately get tangled up with other players and then they act like they're trying to get up off the floor is this sort of semi like hitting the guy in the head and then they announces always like well let's take a look at I don't see any sort of flagrant I don't think that was on purpose he was trying to defend himself let's get the fuck it's it's like did you not have an older brother older brothers know how to
Starting point is 00:01:44 do that shit they fucking act like they lose their balance whoa and they land on you and as they go to get up they push off that your head instead of the floor I mean did you where there no older kids in your neighborhood this is like classic shit and they just never fucking call it and I just I can't I can't fucking do it I got kids so I'm not doing it all right I hope the Celtics win but I am I'm not like there's just something about the NBA that I don't know what it is about the fucking game other than that I really think that it's like massaged or whatever like there was no doubt tonight I'm like the Warriors
Starting point is 00:02:28 are gonna win tonight whether they win or not they're gonna win tonight they have to win they can't be down O2 the casual fans gonna shut it off the NBA is not gonna have that and I know this sounds like conspiracy and I don't think that the referees gave us the game I thought they played great but even if they didn't even if they didn't they were gonna win tonight and I and you cannot convince me otherwise I just I'm not it's the only fucking sport that I am 100% if I had to fucking put my all of my money on manipulated or not manipulated this is the sport that I would 100% do it which is a fucking
Starting point is 00:03:10 shame too because I gotta tell you something as much as the Warriors were kicking our ass in that first game in the first half I was as a fan of sports was 100% still enjoying the game because Steph Curry is like the greatest shooter of all time so you know and I've never been that like like I never hated Derek Jeter I just can't I can't like I mean I'll tease the guy whatever made fun of that fucking shit he used to do to try to get a you know a strike to become a ball or whatever that I did on the Red Sox thing but I fucking love that guy I hate that he played for the Yankees but like I never take it to that
Starting point is 00:03:48 level but I don't know just I don't know what it is about the NBA the fans that fucking douche tonight I think Steph Curry hit a three-pointer and they cut to the crowd and there's some guy miming shooting a bow and arrow we played like the Miami Heat they cut they cut to the crowd after Miami scored like you know eight nothing runners something cut to the crowd and there's some kid with this giant stupid chain on and he's like nodding his head as fast as he can as he's jumping up and down like like in no other sport did the fans act like they just scored like NBA fans and I don't think they like that in the upper deck
Starting point is 00:04:35 I just feel like there's a certain level of douche that I don't know you have to be to sit in the lower bowl at a fucking NBA game anyway but Mark Jackson was in a rare form you know Steph Curry wide open for a three and he'd be like I'll tell you right now that was just terrible defense by the Boston Celtics you cannot leave a man like Steph Curry that wide open if you do that's a very easy way to go down 1-0 in the NBA finals and then remember Robert fucking Griffin the third is like out by the three-point arc guys like fucking 6-10 or something covering Steph Curry and Steph Curry just pull you know he gave him a
Starting point is 00:05:24 little cushion Steph Curry pulls up and he hits it once again Mark Jackson you mean you just cannot give a player like that that amount of space it's like Mark he's the greatest shooter of all time it doesn't matter this guy's 6-10 what the fuck is he supposed to do is he supposed to go out and try to fucking put his dick on his leg he's just gonna go around him and fucking lay it up I mean it's Steph Curry he's gonna get 30 just it is what it is if you're the Boston Celtics enjoy this victory but no the series is not over if you're golden state learn from your mistakes and move on to game two thank you mark what are the Boston
Starting point is 00:06:07 Celtics need to do right now execute but I swear to God like that fucking Draymond Green I mean how many times can he accidentally fall on somebody and as he's trying to get up be kicking them in the chest or in the head accidentally like you know it's not like you know enough to make the guy hurt but just that bullshit and then they sit to go they try is he trying to get up they grab Jar rule's kneecap and just pull up did he confuse the ball with his patella I don't understand it's like am I watching wrestling because he's a neutral announcers that's what I don't like it's like you're neutral I understand a
Starting point is 00:06:55 Homer like when I watch the Washington capitals feed they never think to you know Wilson does anything wrong I watch the Bruins feed they don't think our guys ever do I get that but like this is supposed to be like a national fucking broadcast I don't know did he you know was is kicking somebody in the balls a natural follow-through of his jump shot I I have no idea if you go into the bathroom a public bathroom to take a piss and someone is already in there shitting hold your breath take out your dick and execute I want Mark Jackson advice and everyday life if you're driving down the street in your cell
Starting point is 00:07:42 phone falls between your seat and your center console learn from your mistake and continue driving thank you mark that was that was riveting insight yeah I think I gotta be honest with you I just think with my temperament and I have kids I just really think that I'm not a playoff guy anymore I probably never was I just didn't have little people that are influenced by my behavior so I think what I'm gonna be a regular season guy you know I'm gonna watch game number 43 of an 82 game season and just sit down hey they win it they lose it I don't give a fuck you know what I mean you know it's like to be sitting there
Starting point is 00:08:26 playing Candyland with your daughter as you got one like I on the screen trying not to be like you know like losing your mind like come on man play defense and all of this shit anyways I know it's gonna it's gonna be a great series interesting matchup Celtics are really young Golden State very experienced in all of that so I don't know I'll be honest with you after two games I don't know which way it's gonna go I hope the Celtics win but I have to be honest with you I am I think I'm I think I'm too old to watch my team in the NBA finals I don't think I can fucking handle it and I love my kids more than I need to watch
Starting point is 00:09:10 this shit so I'm gonna just sort of have it on in the background as I'm playing connect four and shit and I'm gonna dip in get some fucking NBA analysis you know and and and you know and then just go back back in I think that's the way I'm gonna do it cuz other than that what am I doing my kids don't understand and I want them to like sports speaking of sports I went to the Dodgers Mets but before I before I I move on I do want to say what a fucking once again what a pleasure it is to watch fucking Steph Curry play that guy is fucking amazing fucking amazing amazing player I'm like Mark Jackson I'm stating the obvious but
Starting point is 00:09:55 like it was a while ago I think this guy might be the greatest shooter Volta he is just like without a doubt I mean that guy the second he gets over the half court line you know I never seen the guy five if he's five feet and I remember I'm in game one he had the ball at the end of a quarter and like through it the length of the court and I actually expected it to go in hey I'm telling you the kid can shoot all right Dodgers Mets I went to the Dodgers game the great buddy of mine New York guy big Mets fan and went down and watched the Mets trying to split the series fun game they really upgraded a lot there with
Starting point is 00:10:40 the the Dodgers Park that's the last of the cookie cutter stadiums was always the best during the cookie cutting cutting cookie cutter multi multi purpose stadiums where most of them were like for baseball and football but the Dodgers was just for baseball I think that that's where theirs came out the best but as I was driving to I thought I heard somebody say that the Dodgers had a 320 million dollar whatever what do they call it salary I don't know team salaries let me look at this up but no they don't they do have a very high one but it for 2022 sorry I'm trying to type and talk I just said I just put in
Starting point is 00:11:26 30 33 sorry gone on the dark web now the payroll that's what they call MLB payroll tracker here we go and this is what I found out I didn't listen to these fucking payrolls by these teams here now I don't want to fucking subscribe nobody wants to subscribe alright here we go the at the top of the list is the New York Mets 260 million 222 thousand 124 dollars Dodgers bear are behind by $197 and change 260 million 2,500 I'm an idiot 22,000 no Jesus Christ bill this is why you sucked at math too I'm sorry they're like $197,000 behind one middle relief guy New York Yankees coming in third 244 million then the
Starting point is 00:12:29 debacle that is the Philadelphia Phillies 233 million dollars and here's a surprise that number five the San Diego Padres look at them throwing their dicks around 217 million dollars that's fucking tremendous and they have to because the Dodgers has been in 260 but my Boston Red Sox to 201 million then the White Sox 195 the Angels 190 the Braves 179 it's amazing what the Braves do the Astros 175 give it take a few trash cans there the Toronto Blue Jays 169 then the Cardinals 158 the Giants 153 the Cubs 148 and the league averages 147 million and change and here's the bottom of the league really quickly number 15 through
Starting point is 00:13:33 30 the Rangers the Twins the Tigers the Rockies Milwaukee Brewers the Nationals now we're down to 130 million then 117 is the Reds the Mariners play 106 million now sub a hundred and million a hundred million dollars sorry a hundred and million a hundred million dollars are the Kansas City Royals the inexplicable Tampa Bay Devil Race 87 million dollars and they're fucking in it every year Arizona Diamondbacks 87 Miami Milans well you know them this gets a frantic they're up and down they either spend 200 million or fucking 81 million the Pittsburgh Pirates 69 million Cleveland Guardians 68 the Oakland
Starting point is 00:14:20 Athletics 48 million and then the Baltimore Orioles 46 million dollars I mean this fucking players almost making that a year now I'll think that they make it like two years right who's the highest played highest paid MLB player Max Scherzer makes 43.3 million dollars a year look at that do what I called it anyway let's go back here yes I went to the game had a great time sat right down on the dugout seats you know a man they had so much fucking information on this on this the scoreboard and now they have those nets that go all the way down the third baseline which I can't fucking believe it took them that long to have
Starting point is 00:15:10 those things you know my whole life growing up I just remember guys hitting fucking screamers into the crowd and somehow people would always get out of the fucking way like like the amount of people that should have fucking died didn't I remember somebody Manny Mota killed a kid at a Dodgers game in the 70s and they still didn't put the nets up no social media no fucking national news like talking about sports and shit back then so nothing was really done about it but I remember a couple times going to Red Sox games and being near one and everybody got out of the way and it hit like an empty fucking seat
Starting point is 00:15:53 one of those plastic seats and I was just like you know I've always wanted to catch a foul ball I think I want to catch a fly ball fuck those I always move those guys it'd be like a line drive into the crowd you'd see all these fucking hands go up like Jesus Christ the fucking you're thinking it's just a goddamn baseball go to a sporting good store buy one and just say you caught it at the game and save your fingers there but anyway I had a great time and I have to say you know I think the Dodger dog is the best hot dog in baseball and I don't even think it's fucking close as far as just a hot dog on a bun that's it
Starting point is 00:16:36 none of this extra foo foo shit that they do in all of these stadiums now trying to justify all of their accoutrements parking fees and all of that shit the Red Sox sweep the A's we're now at 500 but the Yankees keep winning so nobody gives a fuck and not nobody gives a fuck it's just not going to matter why is it suddenly 9,000 fucking degrees in here if you're in the room and your heart remove your sweater if you're not keep doing what you're doing and execute thank you Mark Jackson thank you Mark Jackson whoo I am for real oh wouldn't be LA if there wasn't wasn't a helicopter flying over
Starting point is 00:17:29 anyway sorry let me get back to here it was my son's second birthday this past week and I made him a birthday cake and made like a smaller cake it was such a friggin it was such a crazy week you know just the stress of editing the movie we had our first screening of it with friends and families thank God it went well and people liked the movie I got some great feedback stuff we're gonna go in and fix going to address over the next few days we're going to address the notes that's where I am in my life right now I get notes and then I address them yeah I would love to hang out with you but I have notes that I
Starting point is 00:18:16 need to address I'm still having fun though anyway my thing is I make a birthday cake from scratch for my kids every birthday every year both of them it's what I do and every year for some reason like you know I don't know my wife always like I don't know she always thinks I'm gonna flip out when I'm making the cake because I used to flip out way back in the day when I first started making the pie crust when I want to fucking stick my head through a window but I haven't like flipped out in years but like she anticipates it she warns other people that it's going to happen and I actually most funny as I
Starting point is 00:19:03 came home and my brain was so fucking tired I fucked up the recipe twice and then I was just like all right I started to flip out and then I was just like all right just just make it in the morning that's what I did I just fucking I didn't even clean up I just left the disaster by its you know whatever by itself and then I just made it the next day and ended up coming out great and so my wife was right she's white she like is right to fucking warn people it's like bill is baking you know he's you know he's an emotional guy but you know it's like if I was like I was a coach he's an emotional guy you know he cares cares he
Starting point is 00:19:46 really loves his players that's like me he cares he really loves his kids and he gets upset because he just he wants things to be done a certain way is there anything fucking funnier or sadder than listening to somebody explain away abusive behavior because the person they're talking about is either you know they're married to him related to him or that person signs their checks and like your job is to go out and explain some shit that you don't even believe in it you're just sitting there going like all right was he a cocksucker again all right well I gotta fucking somehow get him out of this mess and just you know the
Starting point is 00:20:35 incident that happened the other day was not something that so-and-so was proud of or anybody is and I know upset a lot of people including you in the media but I can guarantee you that nobody is more upset than the guy that actually did the stuff that upset everybody and he's found to learn from his mistakes and you know we had a nice talk about it and that's gonna be it we're moving forward we're not anticipating another incident like this and and and I'm not taking any questions at this time that shit you know just explaining things me explain this away I'm actually really proud of myself that actually got up and walked
Starting point is 00:21:22 away from that game you know I really am you know it wasn't gonna change I knew the Warriors were gonna win tonight I'm like they're too good a fucking team they're not gonna go down oh too this just isn't gonna happen so just fucking just walk away from it before you get your conspiracy theory going and and and all of this shit and I kind of did and I think I need to do that more because as everyone in my life has told me I don't possess the emotional maturity and I don't it's fucking true I've been playing a lot of drums lately which has been fun I had a little bit a time off on Friday because we were doing the
Starting point is 00:22:11 screening and they had to get everything all we had to send them a copy and get it all fucking set up and all of that shit and you know I was nervous about what people gonna think about you know the rough screening dude is fucking brutal because you don't have if the movie isn't scored so you're just grabbing free tracks from the internet right and as much as they help they also did just it's just not the right shit yet so and then I don't know so people are watching it with the wrong music and then you're getting feedback from that so I'm really confused as far as like so what do I do with that if the right music was there
Starting point is 00:22:52 would they still think that they're in the business so they understand that the right music isn't there so they're able to push through that so I should take the note I got a lot of questions you know what I fucked up the other day was I had a double espresso in the morning right which is what I do I just do it on days I'm editing the movie so it just gets me to plow through when my body wants a nap in the afternoon because I'm old you know you're just drinking espresso it's like young again but then we had to write some shit and I didn't want to be in that soulless editing bay to rewrite this narrow part where I had to narrate
Starting point is 00:23:39 some shit so I said in my right part whether you know it's a cigar bar on the corner let's just fucking go over there you know have a little cigar and we'll fucking knock these jokes out so that's what we did when I was over there the guy mentioned that he had espresso machine and I got a second double I don't even know why I just want to see what it was like to smoke a cigar and having a double espresso which is fucking stupid I got back to that fucking editing room I was so fucking wired I was like nervous like I stood up and I could feel my leg shaking and I was like I am never fucking doing that
Starting point is 00:24:17 again never doing that again I've gotten so into coffee that I could actually drink a mug of espresso right but after having two double shots I'm now and smoke I'm never fucking doing that again I didn't like the way that felt at all I was I was fucking gacked I've never I've never done cocaine but I don't know if that's what it's like I don't know why anybody would ever do it it was like I felt like a squirrel in a tree and there was something coming up and that I that was gonna kill me and there was nothing I could do and it was just final eight seconds of your life final seven seconds of your life final six seconds of
Starting point is 00:25:00 your life I don't know made me fucking weird the rest of the night like I was chilling with my wife yet hostile you know not to her but like the TV she's like what's going on with you I was like I had two double espressos and a cigar she's like why the fuck would you do that I'm like I don't know it seemed like a good idea you know I got a book on my bookshelf I'm looking at right now to just continue with the ADD of everything I do oh listen to that oh listen to that we do that's an A-Star that's the cops
Starting point is 00:25:44 it's a book written by John Bonham's brother Mick Bonham I just see it says Bonham B-O-N-H-A-M I was looking like Bonham Bon is good in French ham good ham I'm not on drugs people I just I don't know I don't know I'm just I'm I am I gotta let it work this summer that's what it is I have too much fucking work that's what it is I'm gonna get it done I'm gonna get it done I'm gonna take one step that's what it is I have too much fucking shit I have too much stress trying to get this fucking movie right that the last thing I need to do is watch my fucking team in the NBA finals I don't need to do that
Starting point is 00:26:34 why would I do that to myself that I think that's why I'm watching the Red Sox it's June we're playing 500 ball hey you win one you lose you know there's enough time we don't win it's okay speaking of which I believe I'm gonna be Red Sox are playing the Angels tonight and I believe that they're gonna get me in the booth again to promote my show at Fenway so your baseball fan and not tune in I'll try to make you laugh during the game and yeah I got I got to do that tomorrow after I edit the thing so my brain might be a little fried so the chances of me saying something really stupid are pretty good I got to be
Starting point is 00:27:21 careful with that let me read some of the the advertising here if I did it correctly is this it here yeah okay Roman everybody all right style no matter what you're wearing confidence starts on the inside that that's why it's so important for men to think about their testosterone health early that's because testosterone is believed to affect everything from our libido to our blood health I can use a fucking testosterone right now if your dick is staring at the floor get Roman if it's standing up and saluting the flag continue doing what you're doing but know that the series is not over Roman style no matter what you
Starting point is 00:28:10 have that's because testosterone is believed to affect everything from our libido to our blood health thankfully Romans testosterone support supplements were designed by real doctors to make this time it's real doctors everybody not like the fake doctors on those other fucking things to make sure your body is maintaining its greatness feel confident from the inside out with Roman testosterone is an important part of a man's body and health but men's testosterone starts to deplete with age which is why it's important you support it early if your testosterone levels go up here's my question do you then start making the
Starting point is 00:28:47 same stupid mistakes you made because of testosterone in your 20s Roman tea support is meant to help men maintain their bodies natural testosterone production Roman tea support is proprietary is a proprietary supplement formulated by Romans in-house doctors you can't find this blend anywhere else Roman offers flexible monthly payments with free two-day shipping go to get roman.com r-o-m-a-n slash burr today if approved you'll get $15 off your first order of Roman tea support that's get roman.com slash burr get Roman.com slash burr and oh here's something in my fucking wheel wheelhouse right now solo
Starting point is 00:29:31 stove are you about to be 54 years old and you can't emotionally sit still during an NBA final game do you need to go off and be alone why not get a solo stove life's best moments happen around a roaring fire you know it's great about a roaring fire too it also like like drowns out you complaining about referees F in a smokeless fire pit from solo stove makes your outdoor moments even more memorable because instead of having to constantly dodge campfire fumes fumes sorry you can sit back relax and actually enjoy the fire there's nothing like a roaring fire to bring you back to what matters upgrade your
Starting point is 00:30:16 backyard with a solo stove fire pit and create story worthy moments without the fireside fumes stainless steel construction designed to regulate air flow and burn more efficiently so little smoke you'll wonder how there's so much fire easy to light with a few bits of starter your fire is blazing in minutes there's there's so confident you'll love it they offer a lifetime warranty in a 30-day free return policy right now you can get big discounts on all fire pits during solo stove summer sale and use promo code burr at solo stove.com for next to $10 off at solo stove.com promo code burr for $10 off on their top on
Starting point is 00:30:54 top of their incredible summer sale discounts but hurry this the summer sale ends June 23rd oh look who it is everybody lastly but not leastly it's Indochino you probably need a suit exclamation point whether you're going to be a groom in a wedding party or a lucky guest everyone wants to look their best for a wedding with a custom fitted suit from Indochino you'll look great feel confident and enjoy the big day without fussing over your clothes choose every detail on a suit shirt dinner jacket and more at affordable prices that may surprise you for fully customized pieces I didn't say that right and more
Starting point is 00:31:39 at affordable prices that may surprise you for fully custom pieces every suit is made to your exact measurements and you can customize every detail create a suit that fits you and your style perfectly with options for fabrics lapel shape custom monograms statement linings and more the best part Indochino suits start from just 429 and shirts some seven and nine dollars explore their relaxed yet refined refined approach to spring suits with their new spring pastels perfect for a brunch or an Easter celebration if you've got a big day coming up getting the perfect look is no big deal with Indochino get $50 off any
Starting point is 00:32:20 purchase at 399 or more by using promo code bird Indochino.com that's $50 off a purchase of 399 or more at Indochino.com promo code bird all right well there you have it let's get into some of the questions here from the week all right from the Czech Republic oh well what do you know the Czech Republic I had a great time I was actually talking about that tour and how much fun I had and I was talking about going Budapest and Vienna and Prague and all of these places Warsaw and someone was saying like you spoke English there right it's just so funny shit ever it's like yeah what do you think I learned all those fucking languages
Starting point is 00:33:13 yeah I like I flung French like every year in high school like I that was one language no I didn't I spoke English and those people can speak English it's amazing and they actually understand humor and all of that shit it's fucking incredible and all of those places really stood out to me that had really fun crowds and like Budapest and the room that I was in I was like I would literally fucking shoot a special here and when I was in Prague it was just like I was trying to see as much of it as I possible just driving around in cabs looking at it all day before my show or half day because we had to travel there
Starting point is 00:33:53 so I was like I've been there but I don't really remember much of it because I was gone within 24 hours anyway from the Czech Republic to mr. Bill just saw a paper tiger on Netflix in the Czech Republic how insane is that we're about three years behind sorry I don't have a Twitter account could never figure out how to use it I love this person you sound like me so if this reaches you great if not no biggie right you are an excellent comedian I love stand-up as an art form please don't stop I have no intentions of stopping but thank you for watching it that's really cool all right more nerd hate dear Billy break bad I'd
Starting point is 00:34:35 like to pile on the hate for powerful nerds Bill Gates is an asshole who spends hundreds of millions of dollars a year on publicity to keep himself in good graces I work for a tech yeah because they always saying like what a philanthropist he is I work for a tech company and anytime an EVP executive vice president who comes from a tech background is way more of a lizard brain than the business school background guy what I work for a tech company and anytime an executive vice president who comes from a tech background is way more of a lizard a lizard brain than the business school background guy all right
Starting point is 00:35:21 I think you missed a word or something going on there I don't know for example business school EVP guy or gal will do everything he can to make profits by making shrewd business deals the tech EVP guy or gal would do everything he can to push programming narratives as in human beings are programs that they can control through additive habits i.e. social media well are they wrong not saying one is better than the other both of them talk about people like ants but it's way more unsettling coming from the tech guy for some reason yeah I understand that because I feel like the business guy is the evil you're used to
Starting point is 00:36:05 where these guys are like you know tech people in chemist I mean they're like fucking with the DNA of animals and our food supply and plants and all that shit anyway this one tech guy I have in mind as I'm saying all of this would talk about them as in everyone who didn't work at our company and I'd be thinking like yo man you're talking about everyone here like they don't have friends and family in a conscious conscience sorry and like we wouldn't want them programmed against their will well just out of curiosity why don't you say that why don't you say these things in these meetings anyways the
Starting point is 00:36:46 same guy would talk about how pliable the public is all the time their attention their opinions everything yeah this guy speaking my language this is why I think everything's fucking rigged then one day a co-worker showed me a video of a former CIA officer talking about how pliable the public is it was hard to shake that one off so we both left work early that day to get high and see a movie you know that's J. Edgar Hoover and then when they actually discovered the truth it's so overwhelming they can't handle it you go out and get high and you go watch a movie also you called this like eight years
Starting point is 00:37:23 ago and one of your specials I think or podcast how nerds will make all the crazy weapons anyways yeah no that's what it is it's what it is the Donald Trump sociopaths are nothing without nerds making their psycho dreams come true you know old butterball whatever the fucking guy name is that we have president now yeah those guys without nerds they can't get anything done national donut day dear Billy butternut I cannot remember the last time I had a fucking donut I'm actually proud of that my fat office celebrated national donut day but guess what they made it a week long thing and had donuts every day
Starting point is 00:38:04 from different places around the city why not right all week these pop portly bastards just chomped up donuts disgusting all of them are short of breath most of the time but this week they were sucking air like the atmosphere was collapsing don't get me wrong I ate at least a dozen myself but I'm in good shape I played soccer in college and still do on the weekends here's the kicker hey no pun intended when it was national fitness day or whatever was called they opened the windows and told people they could take calls outside as if fresh air somehow equated to exercise Jesus Christ love the podcast just got
Starting point is 00:38:41 into anything better loving that too go fuck yourself sorry had to take a sip of water there yeah that's insane where exactly is that I actually watched this you know my wife what likes to watch the murder shows like that SNL sketch at night and she had one on and I don't know what part of the world it was but these were just the weirdest looking fucking people just the weirdest collection of people where they just look very unique in their weirdness they were just odd looking people and then there was one woman who was kind of pretty but like smoking hot for that area but she you know she'd still be a
Starting point is 00:39:34 seven and like New York or something but I mean she just must have been like off the charts but I was just looking I was going what is going on with these people their eyes were a little too far apart their foreheads were like big and sloping and you know the clothes I know I'm not gonna get after you about the clothes are like you know let's just you don't have money what are you gonna do right you can't get on somebody like that but I that they look like they grew up next to something where if we're a company put something in the soil or in the water supply it's unreal how they get away with that and then all of a sudden
Starting point is 00:40:14 they got all these fucking weird people just walking around looking weird and killing each other and then you just use it as like you exploit it and sell advertising telling their stories as if you care about these stories you know what happens in all those murder things my wife falls asleep halfway through it and I end up watching the whole thing rude mom advice dear Billy wet t-shirt by the way this this one that I watched was about this woman you know who got killed by her ex-husband right and one of the things she did for exercise was you know she went to like this dance class it was great she lost all this
Starting point is 00:41:05 weight but I was just thinking like you know think about this all the time with like women like you should just instead of taking a fucking dance class like take jujitsu like learn how to fucking defend yourself so if some piece of shit guy comes at you at the end of the fucking day you know most people I don't think no self-defense myself included you know so like I don't care what size a woman is she's a hundred fucking pounds I mean I wouldn't want a hundred pound weight dropped on my foot so if you know how to throw a punch or a kick I think you could fuck up in the element of surprise they don't know I always just
Starting point is 00:41:42 wonder why on all of those shows they never like say that to women to like you know hey why don't you take some self-defense glasses so you know what to do in these situations so these fucking pieces of shit they probably don't do that because then they would have nothing they'd be killing they'd be biting the hand that feeds I tell you it's a sick world entertainment all right rude mom advice dear Billy wet t-shirt he wouldn't want to see that I need advice about my mother a couple years ago while visiting my husband and me my mother made a comment to her my husband out of the blue that she doesn't want her
Starting point is 00:42:20 money mixing with my husband's money after she dies oh god it's really fucking amazing how stupid people are that far into their life in other words she only wants me to have it or something like that my husband didn't say anything at the time but later told me after she left that she's not welcomed in the house anymore due to her rudeness honestly he couldn't care less about money it's not a lot of money he just didn't like her making that rude comment like and say is an older person he should just laugh it off you know you don't want to ban your wife's mom from coming into the fucking house you just have to accept
Starting point is 00:43:03 the fact that that's her mom and her your wife has unconditional love for her so you just you just end up rather than resenting them showing up you you turn it into joy by you know if they think you're dumb act dumber you know if you find something that fucking annoys them like I got a buddy of mine he figured out his mother-in-law is a narcissist or a person that he works with was a narcissist and he used to really bother him but now what he does is he tells stories where he compliments over the top compliments other people that that narcissist knows and he said it drives her fucking nuts I mean that's what you
Starting point is 00:43:48 want to do anyway my mother has always been a rude person has made snide comments such as this to other family members for as long as I can remember I feel that she's always been able to get away with a bad behavior since had what with her bad behavior since something has a history of gas lighting people plus she's really good looking so I think that makes people forgive her more easily well why don't you tell it is shut up anyway I guess I need to talk to her about this eventually but I'm not sure how to approach it how to approach her about it I've successfully delayed her from visiting for the past two years due
Starting point is 00:44:26 to COVID but I'm running out of time time she's an intimidating person plus banning parents from the household is a big no-no in Chinese culture mom's Chinese American my dad's white they are divorced okay well what does that have to do with you what's the divorce thing have to do with anything plus banning husband's a big no-no in Chinese culture oh yeah well yeah don't do that you know don't I don't still ban her from the house but I think your husband's banning her from the house because you're not saying anything or you married someone like your mother now you're stuck in between the two of them any advice
Starting point is 00:45:14 you or the lovely Nia would be greatly appreciated love your podcast and my husband and I plan on attending one of your shows in the near future thanks and go hug yourself look at you you got a nice heart what are you what are you afraid that your mother's gonna do just take her side just say you know don't talk to my husband like that what's she gonna do you know get mad who gives a get mad I don't give a fuck what are you mad about I didn't don't get mad at me I didn't do anything don't say rude shit to my husband you're welcomed over here you're not welcomed over here saying rude shit to my husband if you say
Starting point is 00:45:53 something I'm gonna call you on it all right that's it it's not being an asshole just cuz you're good-looking all right get over yourself you had your time no one gives a fuck about your money don't say that cuz then she won't give you your money yeah I I got to be honest you one of the main reasons the world is so fucked up is people don't say anything and these fucking abusive assholes just continue to just sort of do what it is that they're doing and nobody says anything that's like all of this shit since since all these these this woke fucking movement like how fucking sideways this whole thing has gone and
Starting point is 00:46:42 and how people used the fact that innocent people were like sexually assaulted as a way to to get their fucking agenda that has nothing to do with any of that you know in through the door to rush through the door like that shit always happens like after like 9-11 the government like use that to just invade everybody's fucking privacy under the fucking umbrella of fighting terrorism and they really just wanted to spy on their own goddamn people oh Billy you're gonna go down this road no I am not so hey here's something I've talked about in a while how about hockey what the fuck's going on in hockey how
Starting point is 00:47:26 about those New York Rangers fucking overachievers they were up one game to none what's going on in that series I have no idea then it's Edmonton Colorado I've heard that series is crazy now hockey I like that sport you know but hockey has not been without its problems like when I was growing up the favoritism that the fucking Montreal Canadians the intimidation factor that they had on the refs was was just it was literally part of the game there was like an unwritten rule that if the Canadians were losing with seven minutes left you just as a ref had to put them on the power play it was a real weird
Starting point is 00:48:09 thing but now no one gives a fuck about the Canadians and I think it's a pretty goddamn I think it's a good goddamn league I do although a couple years ago I did right now I do I don't know what to tell you alright my brain is fucking is filled up with shit I have to do tomorrow I know these podcasts have been a little shorter lately but I'm sparing you by doing that because I don't have much of a life right now I wake up I go to the gym and then I fucking go into an edit room and I just stay in there in this I think there's a window I've never looked out it is there a window I don't even know I just stay in there for
Starting point is 00:48:47 like fucking you know whatever as long as I can seven hours maybe after seven hours you just like alright fuck this I have to get out of here and then I come out I get in my car I practice my French and I ride home and then then I play with my kids and I have like the best fucking like 90 minutes now it's like two hours because my son goes to bed a little bit later we got one of the those little portable bouncy houses it's like the greatest fucking thing ever you just plug it in think fucking inflates in like 10 seconds the kids go in there they go nuts they have a great fucking time and you get like at least seven or
Starting point is 00:49:34 eight minutes where they're so excited to be in the bouncy house they don't want you to go in there and you can actually just chill and have eight minutes sort it to yourself while you're constantly scanning the sky for birds of prey so they don't come down and take your kids if you're like me you know you're constantly checking your backyard to make sure coyote didn't jump but I always think about that shit dingo took me baby like I always think about that the fucking wild animals and shit you know so anyway yeah the big thing is they I'm always wearing a hat and they steal my hat and then you know they want me to go
Starting point is 00:50:09 fucking run after and get it and the fucking joy that they have of me chasing them around we just laugh our asses off the whole time it's just a it's the fucking best I really do realize I am an absolute pushover as a parent though I gotta get a little better at that but I am a fucking push over my daughter be like can I stay up and watch a movie and I'll be like no you got school tomorrow and she just goes oh then I go all right that's all the fight I have in me and my son just like oh my god because the biggest tears when he cries if so if I go to leave you know I'm starting I'm gonna start doing
Starting point is 00:51:03 my shows after my daughter goes to bed because she gets so upset when I leave at night I go I'm coming right coming back home you know and that doesn't seem to like do the trekking just have like massive amounts of fucking guilt as you're going to leave see this is why I don't give a fuck about the NBA finals I'm not gonna get like this level of upset when I got two little ones that need me like to that level so but anyway this week is my birthday week so boo so I'm gonna be just fucking I think home all week you know obviously editing and then just fucking home all week what am I even talking about right
Starting point is 00:51:44 now I'm just trying to work out my fucking week talking to you guys all right that's the podcast I don't know go fuck yourselves enjoy the NBA finals this looks like it's gonna go fucking seven excruciating ones have fun dying a thousand deaths I think I'm good on it that's what I say and then this game starts and I still watch but as of right now I think I'm done just can't I can't handle it I just don't have it in me you know I'm like Maverick in Top Gun right as a fan I just can't fucking do it anymore I lost my edge and there's gonna be no sequel he's not coming back he's out he's taking his pension we need
Starting point is 00:52:26 someone else to take his place all right that's it go fuck yourselves I'll check in on you on Thursday

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.