Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 6-8-20

Episode Date: June 9, 2020

Bill rambles about bicyclist assholes, doing your own electrical work, and the realities of banking.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast from Monday, June 8th, 2020. What's going on? How are ya? How you guys doing? How you holding up? You doing all right?

You staying off the social media there? You not watching the news? I hope you are. I hope you're staying off it. You've watched too much of it. It gets in your brain. It starts to eat away at your brain, the next thing you know, you're out there riding on your bicycle attack and a couple of fucking 13 year old chicks and a little, I don't know,

some teenage boy for hanging up signs at a park. Oh, do I want to make fun of that guy? I want to make fun of that guy, but I can't, you know, I am that guy. I wouldn't do that to those kids, but I do that. I just did it to a smoke detector, you know. I just screamed, I got it, you fucking cunt at a smoke detector that would not stop beeping and I tried everything. I took the battery out.

I changed the battery. I hit the reset button. I held it down for 10 seconds. I held it down for 15 seconds. I held it down for 10 seconds and then hit it again. I held it down for 15 to 20 seconds and then hit it again. I took the whole fucking thing off, unplugged it. It was still beeping.

I went down to the fucking fuse box and shut off the power in that fucking room because I wanted to do my podcast in that room. So I wouldn't be too loud and wake up the kids, right? And it still would not stop fucking beeping. I literally, I just had to call a fucking repairman to come over here because I got, I got some press to do this week. Oh, Billy Hollywood. Oh, Billy Hollywood.

Okay. Here's some of the guy right here. He suspects it's an old smoke detector that needs to be replaced. If you can send a photo or if they can try to pick up a replacement, for fuck's sakes. I'm not out there. You mothers. What the fuck was the name of the thing? Some sort of fast alert.

The fuck was it called? And I went into fucking chat rooms and I was talking to robots that were acting like they were people. And then they told me if I gave them a dollar, like some fucking stripper, they'd tell me what I needed to do fucking unbelievable. Come on. Where the hell is it? Smoke.

Flash. Alert. All right. I'll rate this to it. It's a flash alert smoke detector. Oh, man, I was yelling at this fucking thing. I was yelling at it and I got to try to find a fucking picture of one. Can you send a picture of it?

What did I say? Fast alert? Is that what I just said? Anyway, I have a big week this week. So I need to use my fucking office to do the zoom room chats, whatever you call it. And there it is. There it is. Miss America.

All right. Let's see if I can take a fucking screenshot. Is this technically even a fucking podcast anymore? Is it you guys listening to me ordering a fucking new smoke detector? Oh, come on. Why won't you? Why won't you? Why won't you?

Of course. Of course. Why would you let me take a fucking picture of it? You cunt. There it is. All right. There's no solution immediately. Immediately is my first thought.

There's no solution. Nobody's going to hear me. I don't feel loved. I act like a big fucking baby over absolutely nothing. There we go. There we go. All right. I'll take care of you.

So I fucking flipped out on this. I flipped out on this thing. I made that guy in the bicycle look like a sane human being. That poor bastard. You know, he's 60 years old. Okay. He's set in his ways. Okay.

He likes the America he grew up in, okay, where a cop can put his knee on the neck of somebody who isn't white until they die and it's not murder. It's called good police work. Nine minutes, by the way. Every time I hear more details on that fucking thing, how fascinating is it that people are still arguing that what that cop did wasn't wrong? You know, it's just like, all right, let's say your brother had a counterfeit $20 bill. Whatever the fuck this guy was charged with.

And let's say he was a problem when they tried to arrest him. Once they have him face down, he's handcuffed behind his fucking back and the guy's got his knee on the back of his neck. All right. He gave him the business a little bit. The guy's like, I can't breathe. I can't breathe. You let him up.

Certainly when he stopped, he's asking for his mother and then stops making any noise for a full three minutes. That guy just straight up fucking murdered that guy and is a monster. And I find it hard to believe that anybody who was with him didn't know exactly what the fuck he was doing. I don't know shit about the anatomy or how the body works, but I know when you do something like that, if the guy stopped, I'd be like, let him up, let him up, it's over. Yeah.

And I also know that not all cops are like that. Most cops are not like that. So this is not a cop thing. This is a that guy thing and the guys that he was with, you need to get them out of there. Because what cops do when they do the job right is fucking their heroes. You got some lunatic coming into your fucking house. They come in to get the guy out. Do you want to do that job?

I don't want to fucking do that job. I don't pull somebody over at four o'clock in the fucking morning and get worried about getting run over by an 18 wheeler, forget about what the fuck this guy has in his car. So you know, you just got to get the bad guys out of there. They can't, they have to be held accountable. You cannot have people because they have a fucking badge walking around just fucking murdering people. So anyway, let's get back to old fat.

So on the bike, which I don't think he's that fat cause he's 60 years old, although I will tell you, like Madonna, he's way too old to be wearing those clothes. At some point, people, you got to dress your age. All right, you got to put on something. People do not need to know how much exactly how many pounds you need to lose. Okay. Okay. Okay.

There's a reason for fat shaming. Okay. Nobody wants to look at it. You cover up your roles. Um, yeah, I just think that that guy is just watched, but he's also in Bethesda, Maryland. So he's right outside of DC. So he might have, he might be some lobbyist. I have no idea.

I think he's just too close to the game. You know what I mean? It's like if, if you ever go to sit, if you ever like film something that you made, right? In my, the world that I'm in, you write a script and then you do it, it always looks like it sucks. You know, you're just like, you can never, you can't gauge it cause you have, you can't just watch it cause you knew everything that happened that day, everything that's on the cutting room floor, all that you can't like objective, objectively look at it.

And I think people who just watched too much news, social media, or if they, they work in politics, I think just after a while, you just get fucking jaded. Like last night, I was watching my, my, my new favorite show there, the one with Amanda Pete and a Christian Slater there, for some reason it's got the weirdest fucking name ever. I think it's, it's something that's like dirty James Betty or something. I mean, I've watched a bunch of episodes, I still don't know the name of the fucking show, but I can tell you this, Amanda Pete's one of the best actors I've ever fucking

seen. Um, how did that pertain to what the fuck I was just talking about? Um, I don't know. I don't know what the hell I was trying to say. There was a thought there, there was a thought and it went away. So anyway, I got such a fucking kick out of watching that fucking guy on that bicycle. He did everything but growl at those kids, you know, the other kid, Jesus Christ, the last kid, the guy, he should have done something, you know what I mean?

But then it's like it's fucking 60 year old guy, what are you supposed to do? You know, you know what you do, Pedro Martinez showed you what you do when someone of a certain age comes at you. You back up, you put your hands up, you say you don't want to do it and at the last second if he keeps coming at you, you got to grab him by his big old pumpkin head and just send him down to the grass. There was plenty of ferns and fucking bushes there for this guy to land in. That's what he should have done.

You know, and as much as everybody's coming down on this guy on the bicycle, I got to be honest with you, I don't think that that last kid was raised right. He didn't defend those girls' honor and he allowed this old guy to fucking run him over. And you know, at some point you got to be the young lion that's going to be taken over the pride. Okay, and this guy had plenty of white hair and whatever was left of his fucking lion's mane and this kid just, he just didn't get the job done. That's what it is.

When you live in an era now, we handle everybody with like little fucking velvet gloves and you tell everybody, well, you know, the fact that you were there just voicing your disapproval was enough. It really wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. The guy is coming at you. He's 60 years old. He's got those stupid fucking, I write a fucking Tour de France bike shoes on, you know, the

dumb ones with your fucking feet locked into the pedals or kind of a fucking asshole who's not in a bike race puts those things on. I'll tell you what kind of a fucking asshole, the same kind of a fucking asshole that goes to a sporting event and is wearing almost an entire jersey like some fucking jerk off that goes to a football game. He's got everything on but the fucking helmet. I get it. You're riding a bicycle.

I still do not understand why you can't ride a bike with sweatpants and a t-shirt. I know you can, but like, where did that go that? Okay. Now I'm working out. Everybody who fucking works out now. They got, you got to dress like a fucking X man from some fucking spider-man suit on. Does that help you lift better? You can, can you pick up more weight?

Is that what it is? Everybody walking around with the fucking sports bra, your fucking stomach out, fucking tight ass shorts up your ass. You making a porno? Are you, are you, you're working out? It's their fucking body. It's the other guy, the other fucking, I mean, fucking broken toes are there in gyms every year.

Cause somebody drops a fucking dumbbell on their foot cause they're too busy looking at the fucking tits and ass walking by fucking wonder woman, more clothes than half these broads who go to the fucking goddamn gym. And now the guys are following suit. You saw that fucking marshmallow. He had no business wearing those fucking clothes. But anyway, getting back to what I was saying, it was that, that fucking dude in the end should have taken it.

You heard it. I clipped clopping like some fucking horse that lost a shoe coming at him, gritting his fucking teeth. I mean that guy right there, that guy, imagine that guy if he was a fucking cop, Jesus Christ control your fucking emotions. From the guy who fucking called a smoke detector a cunt today. I did that. I did that.

Bill Burr, father of two, you know, experiencing the miracle for the second time, being at home just, you know, and you know, if you saw what I did this morning, the fact that what I did this morning and calling a smoke detector a fucking cunt can actually happen on the fucking same day is just, you know, it's really a testament to why none of you should be listening to this fucking podcast unless you're just doing it because you want to feel better about yourselves. This morning I had to take my lovely wife and my son over to the doctor and make sure everything was all right, which we did.

Then afterwards, my wife told me that she was hungry. So we hit this burger stand, one of our favorite burger stands in LA, right? Just absolutely delicious. We were just sitting there afterwards and we were eating these burgers, right? And the guy in front of me, oh, he had popped his trunk and was sitting in his trunk with his legs hanging out, eating the burger. It was hilarious. And he saw me looking at him.

He laughed and I laughed. It was like, you know, because they got all the fucking table, the picnic tables and shit are roped off with the police tape. You can't sit there, right? So I brought the burgers over and I just sat in the car, you know, my son was, you know, I just, you know, breastfed and all that. So he was full and he was sleeping. We were just sitting in the car eating burgers, fries and I had a phantom orange and it just

took me back to when I was a kid because I was thinking like, this is what my parents used to do. Like, and this is perfect. We used to go out and we drive around or whatever, then we would go to McDonald's or some shit like that. All the kids got a cheeseburger, small fried chocolate shake was the same order for all my siblings. And then they get, then it was too big max, too large fries, too large coax, and we would

just sit there and eat it. It was like the fucking best. It was the best. And I was sitting there. What today, it took me back to that the early 70s, early to mid 70s when I was, you know, I guess five, six years old, maybe. And just all the neighborhoods, like kids just were outside playing, riding bikes, being jealous of this kids bike down the street.

He had the fucking Apollo five speed and me and my older brother just like, was so envious of it. It looked like a fucking motorcycle and we had the, look that up, Apollo five speed. It had like the fatter back tire, the skinnier front tire, looked like a chopper, right? It was just to clean, had to fucking shift around at the start, it was just the coolest fucking bike. We just had regular coaster bikes and, you know, it was just dogs running around, none of them on leash, leashes and shit.

You know, this is before like to catch a predator, just fucking scared the shit out of everybody and just took me back to that simple fucking time. And I was just like, this is it. This is what it's all about. I spent all these years, why have I gone to 10,000 airports in my fucking life trying to find fulfillment? And we have a very full flight. We'd like to welcome our diamond medallion members like, why my life?

So much of it has been that when all you need to do is find love and have a couple of kids and get a burger. And that's just the coolest fucking thing you could ever fucking do. And I felt that and I knew it and I understood it. And I was just like, yeah, this is what life is all about. And within an hour of that, I was screaming at a smoke detector calling it a cunt. And right there, you start to understand what it's like for my poor wife to live with me. I mean, you have no idea what's going to, I mean, is it going to be like fucking a Disney

movie tonight? Or are we going to be watching the fucking Manson murders? You know, and I try to hide behind labels, so I'm passionate. You know, I care too much. Fucking lunatic. I yelled, I got it. You fucking cunt. And a goddamn smoke detector, right?

That's who I am. So considering that's who I am, where the fuck do I get off making fun of fucking Donald Trump the way I have been lately? You know, I don't know. You know what it really is with that guy? It's not the politics as much as it's, I just don't like bullies. I just don't like bullies. I just remember all the way back to when they were kicking somebody started heckling during

a speech, you know what I mean? And which never works because they always toss the person out and that's it. So as they were kicking him out, he's like, yeah, get him out of here. Then he goes, take his coat. You know, and it's just like, he was like yelling like he was doing it. It's like you have security. They're handling your fight for you. Stop acting like you're tough.

You know, and then I got to tell you, one of the lowest fucking moments ever is like during the middle of all of these protests, which are totally just, and I think are going to be really be a positive thing for everybody. He hides in the basement and then tweets about it. He's so fucking self involved. He thought people were going to care like, oh no, he turned the lights. It just might be like that asshole on Halloween who doesn't want to fucking participate and just shuts the lights off and doesn't give out any candy whatsoever.

Um, you know, bizarre, bizarre human being. I don't give a fuck about anybody else in his cabinet. I have no problem with any of them. I don't know shit about politics, but like that type of shit, I just equate it to sports. The chips are down. Do you fucking man up and drive the team down the field? You know, or do you start going Ryan leaf and start screaming at reporters? I love when he was trying to sign that document too.

And the woman in the process asking questions and he shushed her and then he asked, she of course asks a question that he can't answer. He can't answer any question. It doesn't stop from answering. And he just goes, you know, you're really something else. You know that? It's like, what does that even mean? So anyway, I don't have a problem with the Republican president.

You know, if that happens in November, I just don't want it to be that guy. You know what I mean? And I just wish the fucking Democrats could give you a goddamn choice as opposed to this fucking guy. I just feel like he should be out bird watching or something. Is that what this country needs? You know, fucking 280 year old guys going at it. Oh man, I will tell you, one of the great photo ops I've ever seen is him standing there

with a scowl on his face holding a fucking Bible up in front of a church. I don't even know what the, there's some Jesus freaks out there. Can you tell me what the fuck that even meant? I have no idea. What did that even mean? It was fucking bizarre. It felt like the beginning of like one of those, when I first got cable, like one of those movies, like the dead zone or the almond, like, like they would have like the guy playing

the president, the birds are away, gentlemen, you know, Martin Sheen, just doing this crazy fucking behavior. Like the big thing where you'd be like, oh my God, can you imagine the person in power is just fucking nuts. You know, not saying that the people that we've had before him haven't all been their own sort of brand of crazy slash war criminals like the last two or three of them. You know what I mean? I mean, you get caught getting a blow job, so you bomb another country.

I mean, that's, that's kind of, you know, Jesus Christ, can you imagine brushing your teeth thinking about that fucking 20 years later? I don't know why I did that. That's going to be an awkward conversation at some point anyway. But I think I'm actually very positive about all of this stuff. I think something really good is going to come out of, I think it was great that the protesters went to white neighborhoods and they didn't do any fucking damage. And I have the ability to separate protesters from looters.

They're not the same fucking people any more than if you just look at, you know, some middle age white guy, you know, oh, he supports Trump. It's like not everybody sports him, not everybody supports Obama, there's all different kinds of fucking people. And I think, yeah, and I don't think all cops are bad. I just think there's like a whatever, whatever the percentage is, just get those people out and let's try some sort of different approach. You know, like I said, you get a guy face down, he's handcuffed, it's a wrap.

It's over. He's no longer a fucking threat. It has to stop there. But like, I don't think stopping there endangers any police officers life because I'm trying to, you know, the little I know about that job, it's a fucking unbelievably dangerous fucking job that I think is easy to criticize. But sometimes there are situations where they're in the wrong and this was one of them. So I hope that they fix it.

There you go. How was that? Was that nice enough for everybody? That's not going to cause you to get on your bicycle and fucking dress like Greg LeMond and fucking run after a couple of preteens. Oh, God, even if you agree with him, if you're his friend, what do you say? What do you say depends on what he says. You know, when you go down to bail him out or whatever, if he was just down like, hey,

you know, I let my emotions get the best of me. My fucking shorts were too tight and I just fucking I lost it. Felt like I couldn't breathe with my fucking my compression suit, you know, that I was wearing. I don't know. I just sort of I had that helmet on. I felt like a superhero. It was hard to run on my fucking bicycle clogs. If he comes out like that, then you're going to be like, all right, man, you had a bad one.

I yelled at a smoke detector. You ripped some paper out. I mean, because let's be honest, like when you talk about assault, he just basically tore the paper out of her fucking hand. I mean, you know, did he really hurt somebody? I'm sure he scared him. I mean, he can't have people doing that, but let's let's take it down a little bit. He assaulted a 13.

You know, that's really broad, you know. My mother assaulted all of us. I can tell you that in old school, my mother. Yes. Oh, let me tell my mother. Yeah, she fucking. Yeah. And you know what? We deserved it. And I don't feel like I'm institutionalized either.

When I go back and I think of some of the fucking shit that we were doing. Yeah, I told you this shit, right? My dad was in a fraternity and he saved the paddle. So she used to use that on us and she would just line this all up. I remember her mom hit me with a wooden spoon. I got my I got my forearm up and it fucking broke before it hit me in the head, but it's just like, that's just what was done. It what is it was what was done.

There was no self help. You know, there was polio. There was the Great Depression. This is what all my ancestors came up from. There wasn't time you need what if there was problems, you had to fucking get a nip it in the bud or nip it in the bud. What is that expression? Is it nipping in the bud or in the bud?

Never know. It's like a flower or like like fucking kick its ass. Nip it in the it is bud. Origin. All right. Nip something in the bud means to stop it in an early stage of its development. Oh, before it can mature, the phrase first appeared in print, as far as we know, in the late 16th century, with bloom bloom standing for standing in for bud.

All right. Nip it in the bud or the bud? Incorrect version is nipping in the bud. OK, there's another one that I said wrong for a long fucking time. I just can't remember what the hell it was. Basically, I'm an idiot. You know what I mean? OK, and I did do a smoke alarm with that fatty did to the fucking. I don't even think he's that fat for a 60 year old.

You know, I would love to have that guy in this podcast and just be like, dude, you know, you want to let's go back and forth and just let's just trade stories about losing your temper and then doing or saying things that you wish you could take back, you know, and just have like a competition. I bet I could hang with that guy for at least 90 minutes. I got to tell that that is pretty crazy, though, to get off your bike. I mean, I would he must have been on his bike thinking about that shit. Thinking about it.

Or maybe he just lost an argument about that topic. I mean, that fucking guy, he went in. 60 years old. I mean, say what you want about a insulting teenage girls. All right, if you take that off the table, you got to admire the guy's fire. I want to know what supplement he's using. You know, I barely give a shit about anything. And I'm only I'm only 52 on Wednesday.

This guy's fuck that guy's only eight years older than me. Jesus Christ. I'm talking about him like he's old man winter. The guy could be my fucking older brother. Oh, my God. Um, anyway, I would like to think that by the time I'm 60, I like people hanging up pieces of paper in a park wouldn't bug me. Now, if they were taking him down and throwing him around, that would bug me,

but I still wouldn't stop. I just muttered to myself, fucking cuckuck, fucking motherfuckers. Anyways, I just, I don't know. This is my deal. I'm not in the politics. I just fucking hate bullies. I just I can't stand that shit. I've been guilty of it.

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All right, now I'm gonna get trashed by all these people because I said I was gonna change a couple of outlets in my house. Okay, electricity. All right, do not do your own electrical work, you moron, period. Okay, thanks for the tip. Here's another tip for electric outlets.

Hey Bill, this is a pretty bare bones email, so I'll just get right to the point. When you replace an outlet, you have to be careful which direction you twist the wire. The goal is to twist the wire in the direction that the screws twist when tightening. If you're looking at the back of the outlet, you want to twist the right side down

and twist the right side up. That doesn't make sense, the right side down and the right side up. This way, when you start tightening the screw, the twist in the wire doesn't start coming undone. It's a small tip that can help you out tremendously. Thanks for the MMP and congratulations on kid number two. Thank you.

I'm thankful for both of those. To be honest with you, I don't think I'm gonna do the outlets only because if I were to ever cause a fire, God for fucking bid. Even if we did get out of the house from the relentless smoke detectors that probably then wouldn't work, I'd burn down my fucking house

and they would somehow, I don't know how firemen do this. They always find the cause of the fucking fire. It's like, isn't like what caused the fire on fire? Wasn't that the beginning of the fire so it would have been on fire the most? Like how come my bedroom doesn't exist anymore but you can find this fucking outlet

and the fact that it wasn't wired properly? You know? They always fucking find what it is and I get that different things burn differently, right? Like obviously a piece of paper is gonna be totally gone where something that's metal or something like that might just be all charred up and shit like that but you can't start a fire with something that isn't flammable.

If you just take one match and then you put it on a piece of paper and then stick it underneath some shit that's already there that's flammable, how do they know it's, and then you take the match and walk away? How do they find it? They figure it out.

What are you rooting against them, Bill? I don't know what I'm saying. All right, tip for electric outlets. I just did that. I would love to do it because I have like five or six outlets that are just, you know, one works good and the other one doesn't

and I'm just fucking sick of it. So you know what I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna, I'm gonna buy all the outlets and then I'm just gonna have an electrician do it, all right? So everybody can fucking relax and then once again, I'll pay for something that I probably could have done by myself. All right, bankers.

Dear Billy Banker-Cunt, I'm a 21-year-old college student majoring in finance or as you would say, future Banker-Cunt. Yes, I don't think you're a cunt yet, but what's gonna happen is you're gonna get involved in that game and you either play ball or you get whacked. When you ran about greedy bankers, who at the banks are you referring to?

Tellers, security, IT, board members, and is it all banks? Are there any in particular you aren't a fan of? I think banks are great. They loan money to students for college, small businesses and make homes and car purchases possible. Without banks, this stuff wouldn't be possible

for people with pockets not as deep as yours. Damn money you have rightfully earned. Average American can't write a check for that stuff. I know you complain about interest rates being too high, interest is determined and how likely the person taking the loan will be able to pay back the loan. Pay the loan back. More risk to the bank means higher interest.

Just like with any investment you and I make, we want more reward, more risk we take. Doesn't this kid just sound like a college student? You're basically explaining banking to me that if it's done properly, this is how it works. At any point during this email, are you gonna allude to what the fuck they did for over 40 to 50 years

to gradually get themselves completely deregulated so we had what happened in 2008? And the fucking bubble that they're now creating again with these fucking high-rise luxury apartments, that's all of our money. What about that? What about the fact that back in the day when they were regulated, I forget what it was,

but if you deposited $1,000 in, they were only able to loan out like 30% on a thousand or something like that. It was a responsible number. And then they just kept going after these politicians and paying them off. And then eventually not only could they loan out the entire thousand,

they could loan off another $1,000 to two other people. So off your grand, they could loan out three grand. So they basically counterfeited two grand that's not even there. And then you combine it with the fact that they then had these new rules that made people who weren't qualified to get homes, to get homes, which then drove up the prices

of the fucking houses. You had what happened in 2008. That's why I think they're cunts. And then after they fucked everybody over and old people who thought they had their savings, the money that they earned, then had to spend the rest of their life fucking eatin' dog food.

And these fucking cunts at AIG then say that, hey, we're too big to fail. Bail this out. And then we had to bail them out with money that we now pay interest on. That's why they're cunts, okay? You just sitting here explaining to me how in a perfect world banking operates, I understand that.

All right? Lastly, he says, if you keep your entire life savings in cash in a bank, you are an idiot. Up to $250,000 is federally insured per bank account. That money should be with a wealth management company so the money can grow and be safe. Thanks for listening and go fuck yourself. Well, listen, buddy, I will chalk this up

to the fact that you're a young person. And what you'll quickly realize is that how the game works is they have, is you're gonna put your money in play or they're gonna take it. And then when you put it in play, you're gonna be exposed. And they're gonna take it that way.

That's basically how it is. And you can try to be conservative as you mean. If I keep my entire life savings in cash in the bank, I'm not an idiot for doing that. I'm an idiot because I believe that the banks, it's actually gonna be there. But $250,000, if I live my life correctly and off of interest and whatever else

and whatever I was still earning, if I just live within my means, then I am not an idiot. I'm actually a responsible citizen. But this whole idea that you can never have enough money, you have to keep putting it out there, is because our economy is a fucking Ponzi scheme. That's why. And if people start pulling out

and they stop playing the fucking game, the whole thing collapses. So I would look up on that. All right, Woodrow Wilson's letter of regret, the Federal Reserve, all of that type of shit, how the Federal Reserve is actually a private bank, a private corporation. I mean, I went down that rabbit hole.

I'm done with it because nobody gives a fucking, we're all tied into the lie. But like, I don't know, this is something that you wanna do, so I don't wanna shit all over it. But if you read up on it, I've actually sat in banks, talking to people, talking about how fucked up it is,

and they get this look on their face, they're like, yeah, I know, I know. And I'm like, so what are you gonna do? You doing gold coins? They're like, yeah, I do a little bit of that. They're even hedging their bets. But I just look at it like, by the time this person figured out

what they were getting involved in, they already had a major in that and fucking college loans and they were already running on the wheel. But I might be wrong. I could be wrong about all this. I hope I am. I hope banks are the way that you said they are.

Has not been my experience from the little that I know. My girlfriend is racist against me. Hi, Bill, I've been dating this girl for a year. She is Asian American. I am half Caucasian and half Hispanic, but I look white. She was telling me it's funny that I'm half Hispanic because her Hispanic friend objected to her dating me when I thought I was just white.

Normally I wouldn't let this bother me because part of me gets it. All people of Carla have experienced some sort of racism from white people. The conversation made me uncomfortable and she must have picked up on it because she started defending her friend. All right.

You said normally I wouldn't let this bother me because I get it. All right, but it did bother you because I guess you like this girl what she's saying this shit. She began bashing white people and explaining to me that I'm one of the good ones. I come from a liberal mixed family.

I said that even though I get it, I still don't think that they should assume conservative races just because I'm white. She began to lecture me about white privilege and how racism against whites isn't the same as racism against people of color, which I agree with, but does that make it okay? I will never truly understand.

They're basically arguing because they're not in a position of power where their racism can affect you getting a job or not getting a job. It can affect you if you're walking in a park at night and they decide to jump you. But other than that, white racism as the theory goes and is presented holds way more power

because they can actually end your fucking dreams. Which I love when white people then try to explain to people who aren't white that that's not the case. Let me explain your experience. Although people who aren't white explain white people to white people, it's just what people do. Everybody knows everything I think. You haven't you learned that in the pandemic?

Somebody said it to me the other day because like the amount of people without medical degrees telling me how to avoid getting the coronavirus, we're all full of shit, okay? And I am too, I yelled at a smoke. I called a smoke detector a cunt people. All right, I will never truly understand their experiences. I know that, but at what point

are they being hypocritical? Fair question. I understand that, I understand that. I've been in this situation. It made me think of when Dorothy lands in Oz and they want to know if she's a bad witch or a good witch. And she's like, I'm not a witch, I'm just a kid from Kansas.

This isn't the first time I've had to establish that. I'm one of the good ones. I assume you and Nia have been through the same thing. Oh, we fucking argue all the time about shit like this. It's actually, it could be a show. Like we have, and then in the end, I usually end up like being able to explain myself in a way that she understands

and she's able to explain her way that she understands. This is basically the deal. As long as me and my wife don't watch the news, we get along great. Do I just keep trying to prove that I'm one of the good ones? No, do I call around on her hypocrisy? Both, do I let it go?

I don't know any. Well, what I usually say when people do that, it's like, you know, I just go, you know what, you sound like a white person. And then I also tell them, when they try to hit me with that, this white people are just inherently evil. It's like, no, what you're seeing

is any race of people with unchecked power. That's what happens is eventually, you know, I don't know what it is. It is a fascinating thing where I feel like people that crave power and then their psychological makeup is an interesting thing because I don't know,

most people I know that are cool are not into wanting to control shit. And people who aren't controlling people are not cool to be around. But then having said that, somebody has to lead the herd. So I don't know, I don't know. I get this weird point in my life

where I just feel like I don't fucking know anything anymore. He says, I don't know anymore. I don't want to be one of those white people trying to act like they're equally victimized. No, you never want to do that. That's a bad look because of their skin color. Like, yeah, it's a double standard.

Yeah, mine is getting choked to death by a cop. Other than that, yeah, exactly. Mine is the slavery and all of that bullshit and all the fucking shit that's actually in your head that you don't even fucking address to other people. Other than that, yeah, it's the exact same fucking experience. Yeah, but having said that, there's only so much of that horseshit

that you can fucking listen to. You know what I mean? That's like when I listen, like when white female comics start fucking complaining about how difficult, you can listen to it. You're like, okay, I get it. I get it to a fucking point. And then it just gets to the point of being like,

you know, not for nothing. You're kind of further in your career than I was when I was at your, you know, when I was doing it for five years. So, I mean, I think the fact that you are a woman makes you stand out. It's actually kind of helping you more than it's hurting you. Am I crazy here?

But I know that that's not how it works with white women. White women are the victim's victim. Don't get me fucking started with that shit. I had a great bit back in the day when I did stand up about how white women, how they fucking, yes, incredibly, how they sidestepped their own white privilege and just dumped it all on white guys,

fucking unbelievable, stroke a genius. And then stuck themselves at the front of the line. As far as, you know, people speaking out about being oppressed, it was amazing. All right, with that, I'll stop doing parts of my act that I can't even remember anymore. All right, how music got ruined in the 2000s. Yo, Billy Research, a few months ago,

you talked about a video of Rick Beato, Beato. He had that video about drums and how they were edited to be perfect. And most songs are recorded with the click track while highlighting the genius of Bonham's drumming. Yeah, it was a great video. Anyways, he just put out a video and talks about producing music in the 2000,

how A&R guys would sign anyone with a decent lead singer paying less attention to the band. He talks about how he played on a lot of tracks when a band member couldn't. Thinking back, I hadn't realized how bad those bands were. Lots of new metal as the genre was called. He's got a great channel and educates on music a lot. Yeah, I'll have to check that out.

But as far as my understanding, you know, there's a lot of people, especially in pop music, there was that whole group of musicians out here, they did a documentary on it, The Wrecking Crew. And I particularly remember the woman that played bass. And she just like, I mean, 200 number one hits or something she played on, something fucking insane.

And they would come up and they would have like basically these chord progressions. And then these studio musicians would fix them. And they didn't get any songwriting credit, of course, cause I could tell by the houses that they lived in when they were sitting there telling their stories. They all had very like modest fucking houses. And whenever you go to the fucking, you know,

the executive of the record label, he's got like the infinity pool in the background, you know, the Botox wife. I saw some of you the other day in the grocery store with the whole Botox face. And it's literally like, it looks like my passport picture, which I should show you guys. I have like, when they took the picture,

the shine off of my head ended up fucking with my passport picture where it looks like there's a chunk of my head missing. And I got to take you to the city halls. It's like, this is okay. Like I'm gonna like travel to do standup and God knows where some other country I'm gonna give them this

and I'm gonna be all right with this. And then I got this passport ID and where they just like hyper zoomed in on my face where you can see basically from my eyebrows down to just below my bottom lip and you can't see the rest of my head. I'm like, this looks like it doesn't even fit. I was gonna go over there.

I just, I just don't have the time. Well, you know what happened? The pandemic happened. So anyway, let's plow ahead. Speaking of drums and that shit, I actually sat down yesterday, the first time since my wonderful son was born and I played a little bit of drums.

It was the first time I just sat down and played and wasn't trying to do that bottom lick or whatever the fuck I was trying to figure out. I had, I was the best I played since the pandemic started. I was like, I'm gonna learn how to do this and this, you know? And it was the most fun I had. I came out of my little drum room like just fucking t-shirts, soaking wet.

I had a fucking blast. And my bass drum foot was faster than it ever been cause I just completely didn't give a fuck. And I was just playing along to fucking everything. And then I always, you know, when I do like, try to get back at warming up, trying to get back into shape, I always end up going to guns and roses,

appetite for destruction. I play the whole first side. And every time I listen to what I hear, another little thing that Steve and Adler did, a little hi-hat, little quick little bark thing or something that he'll do like on the ride symbol, like on the bell, just one little tasty, another little tasty thing that he did,

or maybe understand like his drums within the whole composition of the song more. And like, why, like how did he come up with that part? He's just a fucking genius, man. Anyways, deep cuts. This is one of my favorite things that we've ever done here on the podcast. And I've been looking up all these songs.

He's been great, great, great suggestions here. All right. All right, hey, oh, Billy B-side. Wanted to let you know about these awesome, but not often talked about tracks in case you don't really know of them. I'm sure I don't. There's so much great music out there.

There's no way to know all of it, obviously. All right, Black Sabbath, Johnny Blade. Was this when Ronnie James was in the band? This song is from their last album with Ozzy. All right, there's the answer. In 1978, it never gets the attention it deserves. I already like the name of it. It begins with a long-winded synth intro,

but then Bill Ward starts rolling along with a riff on his snare. Ozzy comes in and starts singing about a knife-wielding character that could have been in a Scorsese movie. They go through two choruses before they break it down to 228 into one of the best and heaviest riffs

Tom Tony Iomi ever wrote. And Bill Ward plays a huge, bottom-esque beat to it. If you put this part on during a circus, the elephants would start stomping the shit to pieces. The song picks up tempo again, and the last minute and a half is an epic guitar solo that Tony Iomi takes all over the place. All right, I'm in on that.

Genesis, behind the lines. When Genesis was still straddling the line between prog and pop, they put out the Duke album in 1980. The song starts, this song starts it off behind the lines. And right out of the gate, it's a showcase of how, for how amazing of a drummer Phil Collins is.

Oh, he's one of the greatest drummers ever. Doesn't get the credit because people look at him like a frontman. The drums have a huge, clear sound, and they drive the song along with the prominent synth riff in the forefront. If you pay close attention, you hear Phil doing some really interesting

one-headed fills on the toms while he's working the ride. And as always, he's throwing in accents and things nobody else would have ever thought to do that show why he's one of the greatest drummers of all time. It's incredibly fun to play along to. I think I'm gonna go right to fucking iTunes here and download this shit. Lastly, but not leastly, yes, going for the one.

I wouldn't know where to begin describing what kind of music this song is, but it's so amazing. Maybe prog rock, honky-tonk? I'm not gonna lie to you, that sounds horrific, but I'll listen to it. I've never heard anything like it. Every instrument is played to such a high level of skill, but not in a look at me shred a thousand notes kind of way.

Guitarist Steve Howe takes his pedal, his pedal steel, for a steel pedal, I think what you meant to say, for a crazy ride, while bassist Chris Squire sounds like he's going up and down stairs with his note. Alan, it sounds like I'm literally a music critic wrote this. Alan White on the drums is driving the whole thing and Rick Wakeman synths and piano

add so much on top of it all. John Anderson's high, nutless voice is an acquired taste, but he sings so powerfully and chooses such cool melodies that win you over. The song builds with intensity until it's almost too much, but then suddenly it breaks open with the, with goosebumps inducing key chains, key chain as they sing love over and over again.

But it's like you were on a rocket blasting through space and suddenly burst through a stormy atmosphere to arrive at a utopian planet, well worth the ride. Anyway, check them out when you get a chance and sincere congratulations on your baby boy. Oh, thank you so much. All right, we're going a little heavy, these deep cuts, I'm loving about these.

We're going really heavy with the rock, specifically the white rock. Anybody got like deep cuts on any sort of rap, any black music, country music, whatever you got. Anybody over there in Asia or Europe, whatever you got, let me know, let me know. All right, that's gonna be the podcast here. Stop watching the news, get off social media

unless you're promoting the movie and the cartoon I have coming out this week because it's all about me, people. It's not about defending 13 year olds, hanging up leaflets in a park. It's not about that, it's not about portly fucking 60 year old bike riders. Those dumb fucking, why do you need those shoes?

Can I look that up before I sign off here? I just, what is the advantage of those stupid bike shoes? Your feet don't slip out of the fucking pedals. It's like, how fast are you pedaling? Why don't you fucking go into a higher gear, you dumb cunt. Why are bike racing shoes connected to pedals? Modern psychology designed to work

with the clipless pedal system. Such system temporarily connect the shoe and the pedal like a ski binding, blah, blah, blah, blah. Do you need special pedals? This is what I really was at. Pedal compatibility. Why do you need these? Does it really, okay, clipless bike shoes,

do they make you go faster? Clipless bike shoes necessary or stupid. Okay, clipless pedals, really required, I mean, really? All right, here we go. This is the tone I was looking for. I use flat pedals, always have. I am extremely fit and I'm confident that even on a light hybrid commuter,

I can beat the most amateurs. All right, this guy's talking shit right out of the gate. Not to sound like a jerk, that's just how it seems. I have a racer full carbon, only had it a month. I hear somebody, some people say there's no point of a road bike without clipless, which I think is a stupid comment. As it doesn't make sense, I can get the point

where efficiency can be lost, but it does not necessarily mean, surely that my ride speed, power, et cetera, will be less than other people. A ride is more complicated than pedals. And my understanding of athletics events is that generally about 70% is metal and the rest is physics, is physical, or mental, sorry.

All right, this person says, they make a huge difference in simple terms, you can apply more power more of the time, essential to your whipping motion on the bottom of the stroke. Oh, so I see, so when the pedals coming back up, there's that moment where your foot would come off the pedal, this keeps it on it more. So you're actually in there,

you're actually able to pull it up. You know what, that makes sense. Look at that, I stand corrected. So God bless that 60 year old, assaulting those children. Oh, what a world, all right everybody, go fuck yourselves, have a great couple of days and I'll check in on you on Thursday, don't forget. June 12th, I need you guys, seriously,

not fucking around. Please watch the King of Staten Island and season fourth, Efface for Family. All right, that's it, I'll see you.