Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 7-18-22

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

Bill rambles about a medical procedure, the great gold robbery, and useless car features.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, July 18th, 2022. 2022, what's going on? How the fuck are you? I hope everything's good with you and in your world and whatnot. I hope you stay in cool. I hope, I don't know, I'm hoping against hope that everybody can set aside their religion, their political differences, their boundaries, their country lines, their nuclear weapons and all of that shit we can start maybe together trying to live in a cleaner world so we don't all fucking die a thirst here. Jesus Christ, how much fucking hotter does it have to get? It's unbelievable, unfucking believable. And then somebody sent me this thing on the Instagram there so you

know it's got to be true showing how the government has all like these underground fucking caves and shit with years and years and years of supplies of food and all of that shit. I just remember seeing that going like that's just that unsettling shit where they're like they're really not they have no answers to our problems. And one day, they're going to be like just you know, tighten the belts and 1000 points of light and enough is enough. I am the greatest president ever. And they're just going to be doing that. And then they got to go good night, Mr. Mrs. America, good night to everybody in the world. And then when they sign off, they're going to be like, all right, let's go. And they're all just going to go underground. And that's going to be it.

And then the next day, there's just going to be nobody on Washington military, nobody higher ranking is going to be fucking available. And they're all going to be underground making sandwiches. And every once in a while, they're just here a bunch of screaming and shit, you know, when they're dirt sailing, whatever the fuck is going on at the end of the world, they're just going to stay down there. It actually makes me think, man. That's it. That's a good reason to join either the military or the government and try to just work your way up the security clearance, clearances, you know, so when that giant fucking vault door to underground closes, they're letting you in. All right, this way, Mr. Johnson, the corn flakes

are on the right. The powdered water is on the left. We have the whores in the lower layer, flat screen TV. We've recorded everything Netflix has ever posted in your lifetime. You won't be able to watch all of it. So you'll be entertained. We're going to do the men in black things. You forget all sports you've ever watched. It's going to be great. It's going to be just like living up there, except you can be down here. That's all we have vitamin D, everything you could possibly need. And we have robot prostitutes and all the gold and all of that shit. And everybody else upstairs above the ground. Fuck them. I think that that's what's going to happen. I think that's the solution. And the only person to blame is God. It's God's fault. Okay, I'm sick of him

dishing it off to the devil. It's no dude, you made all of these psychos, you did. You did and they've led us to this. All right, which is fine. I get it. It's like he wrote a script. It's a beginning, middle and an end. All right, this is getting dark. I actually watched a couple of really amazing French one documentary and one movie. All right, I'm going to go with the first one. It's this movie called The Wolf's Call, the chant de la roue, whatever the fuck they say in French. The chant de la roue, something like that. The wolf's call. And it has one of my favorite French actors. I hope I say his name right. It's Reda. English way you'd say K-Tab. I'm sure I'm not saying it right. He was in that great prison movie, A Prophet 2009. You got to check

that one out. It's fucking incredible. And but this was a military drama about nuclear submarines. And it's just was done top fucking notch. And the twists and turns because they've done like this story has been told before about a nuclear standoff and all that just the way they did it and the way they shot it and the acting was just fucking amazing. It was really, really amazing. I highly recommend it. If you don't mind reading subtitles, but the acting in it and the directing, the cinematography and all that, it's just crazy called The Wolf's Call. It's on Netflix. And then I saw another one. It was a documentary called Wonder Boy. It's about this French designer, Olivier Rousting. And I'm sure I'm saying it wrong because believe it or not, I am not that much in

the fashion world. You wouldn't know it to look at me. You know, to see, you know, my Malcolm Young jeans and t-shirt style that I have still look like I'm unloading trucks in a warehouse. I didn't know anything about it, which is why I watch it. That's what I do on Netflix because I try to watch the most random shit I can possibly watch that's good. So I can get a better mix of shit in my queue or whatever they call it. That's why, you know, you watch a little one punch man, little Japanese anime, you watch a French documentary, you're all over the map, you know, because I told you a long time ago, I watched one of the, I watched two seasons of Narcos, and then every fucking thing on my front page was behind the scenes, San Quentin,

Aryan prisoners, the rules they live by behind the walls, you know, that they have all those guys, you know, speaking with their voices altered and their face all blurred out. So you're saying you're sharpening your toothbrush and you could make that into a weapon? It's like, you know, I don't want to watch that all the fucking time, right? So, so this Wonder Boy thing is really fascinating and made me think about a lot of shit when I was watching this. He's basically an incredibly successful person, great looking dude, like he was sitting there with all the supermodels, and when he was in the photos, he was as good looking as they were. He looked like,

like one of the models, but he was the guy who actually was designing all of the stuff, and he's adopted, and the story is him trying to find his birth parents, and his feelings about, despite growing up in this house where he felt like, you know, obviously you could see, like his adopted parents loved him, his grandparents were unbelievable, all this love, but just not knowing like who he was, you know, because of his skin color, he thought maybe he was half white, half black, he was looking at his facial features, and he just had to guess, he just wanted to fucking know, right? So, and the director, I know I'm going to say her name wrong, Anisa Bonifone, I don't know how to say it, but was amazing, the way they told

the story, the way they put it together, it was really beautifully shot and everything, and I mean, I guess, I don't know, they got 23 and me now, but I always feel like they're just doing that so they can make the fucking robot replacement of you. But I remember, you know, growing up, you know, when roots came out and stuff like that, and black people saying like, what it felt like to just not know where you were from, have no history, none of that type of stuff, like how that, you know, it's like, whenever I moved, even if I go to a new city, I want to read up on the history of it, so I can somehow feel rooted in it, just as a person to not know where you're from, and who your parents are, and all of that type of stuff, and maybe think about all of that, like slavery,

how he did that to an entire race of people, and just how crazy, like all of that is in this kid's story, you know, I don't know, just not having grown up like that, I would have thought that, you know, if you got put up for adoption, but you had the awesome parents and grandparents that he had, that that could take the place of it, and I saw that it did minutes, and, you know, he finds out about, you know, stuff about his parents and stuff, that obviously blows his mind and everything like that, I don't want to ruin it, but you should definitely check it out, it's called Wonder Boy on Netflix, look at me, oh cultured Bill, watching a couple of French movies, I'm telling you, I'm gonna get that someday, one of two things gonna happen, I'm gonna be able to play good times,

bad times, every time I get close, I get busy, and I gotta fucking go back down to 80, 85 BPMs, God damn it, or I'm gonna become fluent in French, or maybe I'll do both, I don't know, anyway, so I've been doing good, I've been working out and everything, I'm getting ready for Fenway, oh Billy, Billy's getting the fucking his revenge body back, and I'm not gonna this podcast out here on a Sunday afternoon, Basque, tomorrow I have a, I have a, I have a procedure, you know, I have a medical procedure that needs to be done tomorrow, now whenever a man of a certain age doesn't say exactly, like I'm getting a hip replacement, or I'm getting some hair plugs, if they just say they're getting a procedure, that means one thing, and one thing only,

there's something going on with his ass, getting the old colonoscopy, everybody, the old fucking Jacques Cousteau up the asshole, yeah, that's what's happening tomorrow, so yeah, that was medicine, you gotta fucking drink to clean yourself out, and be fucking Jeff Daniels and Dumber Dumber for the next fucking six hours, not to get it too gross here, so that's what's going on with me tomorrow, so yeah, that is it, and baseball, we're gonna plow right through that, what I was just talking about, baseball, who do we got here, we're at the all star break, and my Red Sox playing the Yankees today, we won the first game, got smoked the second game, you know, we've taken three of the last four from

them, gone three and three, the last six games, you know, although the kind of Red Sox made a statement that this is a rebuilding year, that kind of sucked, that fucking Devil Ray series just took everything out of us, but I know they're gonna show up at least against the Yankees, then it's the all star break, and guess what, the all star games out here baby, at Dodger Stadium, all star game is at Dodger Stadium, and I'm gonna go to it, it's the last all star game in professional sports I need to go to, I went to the Pro Bowl out in Hawaii, the all star game, NHL all star game was out here in 2017, and I think 2009 maybe, I went to the NBA all star game, fuck was it that long ago, remember Doc Rivers was still, was coaching the the all star team,

so we must have won it the year before in 0-8, so yeah, this is the last one, so I'm looking forward to that, it's a cool thing to go to, because you end up seeing a bunch of holofamers, is the fucking AC not working here, hang on a second, damn it, the fucking goddamn house you bought, there's always some sort of a fucking problem, oh no, oh no, what is the deal here, yeah, didn't see that coming, didn't see that coming, oh yeah, do you have a pool, oh yeah, great day to go swimming, ah dear took a shit in it, yeah can't get to it to Monday, you know that day you can't go swimming, because you're having a medical procedure,

yeah, then you can go swimming on that fucking day, god damn it, maybe it's just the batteries in the, in the thing, but I fucking turned it on, whatever, whatever the fuck are you gonna do, so I want to thank everybody too who sent, who sent in all that that fucking music, Jesus Christ, I gotta be honest with you guys, I can't keep up with a lot of that shit, I was talking about how I like that new porcupine tree album, and I think I'm actually, you know, of course they're fucking playing out here in LA, you know, and I'm on the road, I get, I get back like two days after that, so I'm thinking well maybe they'll go down to San Diego and I'll see them there, but like the next day they're in Mexico

city, but one of my road dates, Chris crosses with their tour, they play the same city I do the day after I'm there, so I'm gonna go to the show then, so that should be fun, and, but let me see, because I downloaded some of this shit you guys told me to download, but good lord, it's just too much for my ears to try to like, to take in, oh I downloaded it, didn't come on, I had the worst fucking Wi-Fi, all of that's, whatever the hell it was, like death, there was another began with C or something like that, all of these, these fucking uh, like my sugar level bands, like that is just a lot, it just to try and listen to it and even remotely figure out what is going on musically, especially with the drums, the way it was mixed,

my ears just aren't good enough at this point, so I need to like ease my way into that shit, I think as far as like, you know, progressive metal, which I don't even know what it is, I just like shit that's in different time signatures, um, so I think I'm gonna stick porcupine tree, you know, obviously tool, that type of stuff, and I think gradually, I'll keep listening to my sugar and that type of stuff, and then I think it won't seem so foreign to my brain, because I know it's incredible music and musicianship is insane, I just, you know, I always equated to like, I saw Tony Williams, the great Tony Williams play live, and I knew what he was doing was amazing, but I didn't know why, I just knew it sounded really

complex and complicated, but I didn't know what the fuck was going on, and when everybody else clapped, I clapped too, but, you know, I mean, I could barely keep time when I listened to the guy play, so when he's doing all that polyrhythm shit, like I didn't know what was going on, I just knew that he was one of the great drummers, and all the drummers I liked talked about how awesome he was, so I went to go see him. So, goddamn fucking AC, good lord, if it's not something, it's fucking something else, is that how it goes? It's not one thing in the air, it's not one thing, it's the other, all right? Thank you to everybody who came out to the shows in Las Vegas, we had a, I went out there with Bartnick, who, dude, I'm telling you, he's never been funnier,

absolutely fucking murdered, both shows, so happy for him, we're editing his special right now, me and Ben Tishla, and actually Ben's been doing it with Joe, and we'll be having that thing coming out at some point by the end of the year, it should be awesome, so I didn't really do anything, man, I just fucking hung out, we just went back to the room, chilled out, you know, my wife would come back with the sister, they had a great time at the show, and we would all just hang out, order some food or whatever, but so that's it, so my next big gig coming up is I have, what do I got? I got Montreal, the Montreal Forum, whatever the fuck, the Molson Center, or the fucking Timmy Horton fucking Hoedown, whatever the hell they call their place up there,

I got that thing coming up, so looking forward to that, you know, Montreal is a beautiful, beautiful city, and I can't wait, and this is another way for me to practice my French with those fake French people, you know, because I know that like real French people laugh at people, French Canadians, like the way they pronounce their words, that they're not speaking real French, which is just fucking hilarious to me, like, it's like, yes they are, they're just somewhere else, so the accent is a little different, stop being so fucking precious, oh, you know my dream is, my dream is to be able to be totally fluent in French, go to Paris, do a show in French, and just trash them, you know, and just be speaking beautiful French as an American in shape, who

traveled speaking another language, destroying all of their stereotypes about Americans, and then making fun of them with their pocket squares, you know, and their hoity-toity fucking attitudes and their accents when they try to fucking speak English, that's what always is amazed me about the French, where it's like literally, they get offended when you're like butchering their language, and then they turn around and speak English to you and start butchering your language, and you're supposed to be like, all right, I guess it's okay when you do it to me, so anyway, yeah, looking forward to the all-star game and whatever, and oh, I don't know if I mentioned this, did I mention this in the last podcast? Yeah, I took my first passenger up in the helicopter, took Dean Delray

up, and it was kind of anticlimactic. I knew what I was doing, and in a good way, like I was totally comfortable, I wasn't nervous, I was definitely thinking, you know, getting ready if anything happened, I knew what I was doing and all of that shit, and we would be fine, but I was also making sure I knew which way the wind was going, where we put it down, like at all times, of course it was a fucking hazy day, it was just this haze hanging over, so I didn't go out over Malibu and everything because I figured it would be, I don't know, it just said six statute miles visibility, you know, it's just like, yeah, I don't need to be fucking flying in that, although if it's 10, that's when I go, and then of course the next day when I wasn't flying and the day before I flew, it was just an

absolute perfect day, and that's kind of like how it works. I think my next solo flight I'm going to do, I'm going to go out to this airport, Victorville, I've gone out there one other time with an instructor, it's a really nice flight, and you're on the other side of the San Gabriel Mountains, and there's really nothing out there once you get past like Agua Delci and all of that, which is great, nice flat land, if you have a problem, there's nobody, my only thing I would worry about is if I had to do an auto rotation out there, and I landed whose property I land on, and if they fucking tweak it out there and think I'm the feds, I might have a problem, but other than that, it's a pretty safe place to fly out there, and out in Victorville, they have

like this, all of these planes, like jumbo jet aircraft that have timed out, and they're just sitting out there, it's pretty wild, like I don't quite understand how all of that works and what you do with those things, but you know, I used to watch like Gas Monkey Garage, and I'm thinking, is there like the airplane version of this? You just pull up in a raptor with the fucking trailer and tell a fucking old DC-10, decommissioned DC-10 out of there, and we're going to lower it, going to put some big brakes on it, make it all electric, I mean, that's something for like technology, you know they know how to do it, but there's everybody's trying to protect their position in the market and blaming their shareholders and all of that shit.

Can somebody in the business world explain to me what that means? Whenever they do these diabolical moves, they always say we have to keep our shareholders happy. Now I own shares, I'm in the stock market, no one has ever asked me whether I'm happy, I don't know who the fuck to complain to. Isn't that really the people on the board of directors who sit on a corporation and even when the corporation loses money or nosedives, they still somehow cut themselves a check for like $200, $300 million for all their incredible work, making the business fucking fail? I don't know, I have no idea. So let's do some advertising here, because I got to go play with my kids, oh my god, it was awesome when I came home,

they were both freaking out and my daughter's getting a little bit older though, I kind of noticed that, you know, she definitely psyched, hugs me, but now she has this little iPad where she watches her educational shows, plus that kid Ryan, she watches that shit all the time, so we've been getting her to watch less of that. It's a really difficult parenting point, those fucking things, because if you just don't, if they're not around them at all, they're not going to know how to use them, and then they go out into the world and they're going to be like, what is that? So they got to be able to interact with them, but you don't want them to be like these zombies. But my son, of course, a second I come home,

he's like, that is truck, that is truck, that is truck, you know, must take a ride in the truck, just out of the garage. So I got to go do that before the proverbial shit storm that my life's going to be over the next fucking 12 hours here. All right. Anything else? I think that's it. All right, let's let's do a little bit of advertising here. Oh my God, the fucking AC. Jesus Christ. All right, look who's here, everybody. It's all Zip. Zip recruiter, everybody. You know, I'm excited to travel this summer, evidently, according to the copy. Have you ever thought about all of the people that you make, that make a vacation truly great? Talk about people who make a great trip possible,

especially those that you appreciate. Oh, I'll tell you, I'll tell you who. Club Soda Kenny. Club Soda Kenny meets me at the airport. Club Soda Kenny gets me into the car. Club Soda Kenny checks me in the hotel. I don't have to fucking think about anything. Club Soda Kenny. Okay. My name is Bill Burr and I support this message. Example, Hotel Concierge. Who knows the best places to go? Oh, absolutely. Tour guys with great stories. You know, speaking of that, I was talking to one of the security people at the Cosmo and this guy was a former New York City police officer. So me being a car guy, I was like, what years? He told me what years and I was just like, oh, okay, early 80s. What did you guys have? Like the Chrysler New Yorkers? He

goes, yeah, we had the Chryslers with the two gumballs on top. He goes, then we moved to the K cars, which sucked. They were too small. Then I think they went Chevy and then Ford. I think they had either the Caprices or the Impalas or then they had the, then they went to the Crown Vicks. I'm not sure. But he told me these, you know, he got me reading up on the Crown Crown Heights riots of the early 90s. It's an absolutely heartbreaking story that ended up leading to more violence and all of that type of shit. I was a race riot and all of this type of shit. And I was like, was that whites versus blacks? He was like, no, it was acidic Jews and black people going at it. And he goes, we were the referees. I was like, you were there. He goes, I was there. So he told me some

great stories. But anyway, it's unbelievable. Because you just heard from his capster that you gave him a party. Luckily, it's the Bolsheviks with bizarre good deals that you have to share, like only today, the JBL Partybox 310, now only 319 euros. Score all the deals in the app from bol.com. This is a zip recruiter ad. Anyway, you know, outstanding talent is crucial for success, a successful business. And if you're hiring, you can find talent for roles like these and more at zip. When you try for free at zip recruiter.com slash birds, zip recruiter uses its powerful technology to find and match the right candidates up with your job. You can easily review these recommended candidates and invite your top choices to apply your top choices for the five

employers who post on zip. Get a quality candidate within the first day. No wonder zip is the number one rated hiring site based on G2 satisfaction ratings as of January 1st, 2022. So travel. So travel to this easy to remember website zip recruiter.com slash bird. That's where you can try zip recruiter for free. Again, that's zip recruiter.com slash bird, spell out bird, B U R R zip. The smartest way to hire. All right, I guess we're already into the letters, everybody. We're already into the letters this week. Somebody writes in says, thank you. Well, isn't that nice? You know, that's, that's really a word that I feel is underused in the English language. Just to thank you. You know, or a sarcastic one. I like it. I like

nice. Nice is a great sarcastic one. You know, somebody cuts you off in traffic. Nice. Nice. Nice move. Start clapping. Great job, buddy. No, no, no. Hey, look, it's your world, buddy. I'm just fucking driving in it. You're fucking bigheaded cunt. All right. Thank you, Mr. Burr. I am a huge fan of your stand up and efforts for family. Oh, well, thank you for watching that still exists on Netflix, everybody. I'm a disabled US Marine with two tours to Iraq. I suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression along with two bad knees. Oh man. Have you, have you looked up on any of this stuff like those guided trips where you use psychedelics? That's like becoming the thing. This is whole thing on Netflix about this fucking guy who looks like he's 100 years old,

like snorting tobacco. Like if you're smoking, it's bad for you. But if you snort it, he goes, he's out there with this shaman or whatever or shaw woman. I don't know what. And he fucking snorts tobacco and he's like, oh, he's like, my head feels like it's on fire. Now it's moving down through my body. I find it weird that they have all these old things that people used to do and these are evidently better than what they have at a CVS. Yet people live longer now. I don't know what that is. Maybe because you kind of lived outside even if you were inside back then as I bitch about my fucking air conditioning. Anyway, he says, as you may or she says, he or she says, as you may guess, yes, I was infantry. That's the real deal right there. Your special and show

helped me laugh and makes my day a little better. That's good to hear. Not only that, but the practical wisdom you give, I agree not that you care. I totally care if you're complimenting me with my fucking ego. I agree with not that you care with most of the stuff you say, because I'm feeling like a grumpy man. And it's nice to hear someone sees things as I and I don't feel so alone. Thank you for your honesty and your comedy yours. And then he leaves his name. I try not to use names here because God knows someone will try to fucking use this shit against this person. So well, thank you very much US Marine Corps. Look at that. Look at that. The Marines. Okay, not not those fly boys in the fucking Air Force.

Walking around like Tom Cruise actually wasn't Tom Cruise in the Navy. Wait a minute. He's an actor. Sorry. I just got caught up and you know, I never saw the top gun. The top gun. That's how old I am. Have you seen the top gun? Is it on the internet yet? I got to see that. Yeah, well, you know something? Forget about watching efforts for family and all of that stuff. I'm going to look this up for you. There's something you can check out. And there's all of these new things. You know what it is? I think everybody knows that these psychedelic things are actually, they're onto something with PTSD, how much it's like helping. So the pharmacies have to gain control of them and come up with their synthetic versions that won't be as good as the

other ones so they can corner the fucking, you know, the usual bullshit. All right, Netflix series. Oh God, psychedelics. Psych. Oh, I kind of got it. I went with the A instead of the E. Um, psychedelics. How the fuck is it? Oh, how to change your mind. But there's a number of things on it. There's something called the mind explained. I mean, Jesus Christ, that's a little fucking arrogant. Oh, did you figure it out? How to change your mind? Check that out. You know, at the very least if you get nothing out of it, it's funny to watch a 60 year old guy snort tobacco. It's burning sensation. Looks like the fucking Crip Keeper. It's funny because he's saying how

good and how much it helps it, but he does not look healthy whatsoever. I'm just being honest. So check that out if you get a chance. All right, Red Rocks special. Let the Red Rock special. Shine a light on you. Hey Bill, we are coming to see you in Buffalo. I haven't been in Buffalo in forever on August 26th. Still, I still cannot believe I never took the time to just get on the mass pike drive west and go see the Bruins play the same as in the odd. I never did it. Um, I gotta tell you, they always lament about those old fucking, is that the right word? The, uh, the old baseball stadiums, you know, the Brooklyn Dodgers, how sad they were when they tore those things down. I gotta tell you, some of those old hockey ones, you know, Maple Leaf

Gardens, uh, the original Montreal forum, the Olympia with the Red Wings played Chicago stadium, um, the Boston garden, the odd, I did see the fucking Islanders, Nassau Coliseum versus the Rages in like the spring, uh, end of the winter spring, like around March, February or March of 1989. I went to a game out there and it was fucking mayhem. Um, it was actually really scary because that's back when like traveling was traveling. Like he didn't, it wasn't, you know, there was no internet. Um, I mean, I know Al Gore was fucking working on it. He was working on it, working on an inconvenient truth. Um, so when you traveled back then, it was before like corporations totally took over when you, when you, like I used to visit family out in the Midwest and you went out there

and even like the road looked different. They had a lot more concrete on their road. They had Bob's big boys. They still had chains, but they had different chains and like one of those never went there and they had the malted milks and, uh, the signage looked a little bit different, the accents, everything was like different. Um, so when I went down to that game, the Rangers versus the Islanders and Nassau Coliseum, I just remembered like hearing these fucking crazy accents like everybody sounded like they were in the fucking Ramones and they were just beating the, there was a couple of fights beating the shit out of each other. Like guys way too old to be getting into fights. People was like, fuck on, like full on fucking or fuck on. That's full on

abbreviation. If you're learning the language, full on, um, like mustaches and loafers. If you can grow facial hair and you're wearing loafers, you should be not, you're too old to be into a fight. I just remember this guy, that was when they had like those cheap loafers with the gold fucking thing on the front to show that you were successful. I just remember this guy like trying to lay across. He was like laying across three people trying to throw an uppercut with like no momentum whatsoever. And I was just sitting there keeping my mouth shut because it's like, uh, I'm just sort of a sports fan and, uh, I can't believe I'm here right now because it was 1989 and the Islanders had won four in a row from 80 to 83. So there was only,

you know, six years removed from that. So it was still like, I'm thinking, you know, Billy Smith, Mike Bossy and all of those guys, Mike Bossy, rest his soul. And, um, I don't know. So now when I look back, it was just like, why didn't I just fucking get in my piece of shit truck and drive all over drive down to Hartford to see the whalers or go up to go see the Nordiques? That'd be a fucking plane ride though. Um, I did see the Canadians in the old form. All right, Bill, let's get back to Buffalo. Um, will the Buffalo show, uh, be different material than what is on the Red Rock special? We want to watch it, but not if it's the same stuff. Dude, why the fuck would I do that? I would never do that to you. The special, once I shoot a special, I'm immediately

dumping all of that material. And by the time the special comes out, you know, seven, eight months later, I have my new hour. It's up and running. And I won't feel like I'm just, I would never do that because you'd be like, well, what the fuck? You just did the same shit and I spent all of this money. I could have just stayed home and then the next time I go to Buffalo, you're not going to go see me. So I would never do that to myself because then I would gradually lose my following and I'd have to get a real job, which is not what I want to do. All right, here we go. Millennials are to blame for inflation. No, Jesus. Hey, Billy on the nose. Did you see the CNBC article with the headline stating that millennials are to blame for inflation? No,

I didn't. But what little I know about the economy that makes in the Federal Reserve, that makes no sense whatsoever, unless everyone in the Federal Reserve is a millennial. But it was already evil before they got there. So they're just towing the company line, right? He said they eventually had to change the headline because it got roasted hard by people pointing out that half the money supply was printed in the last few years. Yeah, nothing will cause inflation like printing more money. And it took me the longest time to figure this out. So I'll try to explain it in layman terms and I'll probably fuck this up because it's been a while since I read up on it. But basically, money back in the day had value because it represented

something of value being gold. So back in the day, when you had gold, it was very dangerous to have it. If you traveled with it, people would rob you and blah, blah, blah. So then they came up with banks, right? Take your money, you keep it here for safety. So you give them just to make things easy. You gave them $100 worth of gold. And then they gave you $100 in cash. And what those bills used to say that it was redeemable for the value of the piece of paper in gold and you could go into the bank and get your fucking gold back. It was one of the great robberies of all time. And eventually, they took us off the gold standard and they kept everybody's gold. And they just kept giving out the paper. And what happened was is your money has value

if there's gold behind it. And how do I do this? Let's just say you had $100 million in gold. And you had $100 million in cash, then $100 million is worth $100 million, right? It's worth that pile of gold, right? Now, if you just go print another $100 million, you just made the value of the dollar is now cut in half. Because all of that money is you didn't get any more gold. You just printed more money. So the more money you're printing versus that fucking gold, the less each piece of paper is worth because all of that paper still represents the same amount of gold. So now you have $300 million, but you only have $100 million with the gold because you didn't get any more fucking gold. So now that dollar is worth like 33.3 cents.

And what I don't understand is why they don't just keep prices the same. Like, how do they know that they fucking printed more? How do businesses know that they printed more money? I don't get how that aspect of it works, but it seems the whole thing is a fucking Ponzi scheme. And at some point, I believe around Richard Nixon, they just worked on Democrat and Republicans both sides. I'm not blaming you, but I think Nixon was the guy who just finally took us 100% off the gold standard. Woodrow Wilson was the guy that signed off on the Federal Reserve that made it a private corporation. Federal Reserve is a private corporation of bankers. The joke is it is as federal as federal express, and they're a private group of bankers,

they're not connected to the government. That's why the president always has to guess what the Fed's going to do because he has no power or control over them. They control us. They are the official Bernie Madoffs of this country. And I don't know how to undo it or whatever. I felt like Bernie Sanders had some good ideas. And you know, somebody has some good ideas to put bankers in their place when they're called a socialist or a communist. Those are the buzzwords. If somebody's called a socialist or a communist, it means they're trying to help out regular people. And everybody gets on both sides gets afraid of that word. And there's just too many fucking people that get elected on both sides that aren't going to do the fucking right thing and the

banks continue to go. So I probably didn't explain it correctly. So you can't blame millennials for inflation because they didn't go out and print a whole bunch of money while not finding more gold to back it. So I guess now the only thing that gives our dollar value is the fact that the world's oil supply is still measured against US dollars. And I believe, I'm dusting this shit off, I believe that Saddam Hussein was trying to get together with Hugo Chavez, both major oil suppliers to start, he was going to start putting his stuff out euros per barrel, which who gives him the authority to do that? Who gives us the authority that we were doing it? I don't know. But that was allegedly what he was going to do because he was trying to bankrupt the

US so he could get out from us babysitting us babysitting him. So and then that's when we came up with the hey, he had something to do with 9 11 so we could get fucking rid of that guy and get our own guy in there. That's what the conspiracy theory is about all of that shit. So but all of these problems are just fucking gigantic. How do you even think of this stuff? How do you even get your head around it? Like why you would do that to people is is beyond me. Like why you would take their gold and say we're going to keep it safe and then just take it for yourself like the fuck is wrong with you. I just don't understand why people would do that. Anyway on anything better, you mentioned how you used to complain

about the world banks and how you got nowhere. But I'm here to say you turn me and my friends onto a lot of the stuff we care about today. Keep that rosy chin up and don't ever sell yourself short. All the ranting you did help spark others into learning about the real enemies of the world mission accomplished Colonel Ruby Royds. Yeah, but they're still in power. They're still in power and they have underground caves and shit. That's why you know, I just try to live a small life now. I what are you going to do? I don't know what their end game is, but they're not going to win by crushing everybody underneath them at the very least they're going to have to do their own landscaping and fix their own air conditioners if they get rid of all of us regular people,

right? Are you saying people that landscape and fix air conditioners are air quote regular? Yes, I am. Environmentalist here. Oh, Jesus. You know, there's an environmentalist book that I wanted to read that this female scientist wrote back in the day called this Silent Spring. And it was predicting everything that was basically happening today with with pesticides and all of that. We're back in the day, you know, if bugs and all of that shit got to crops, all of a sudden there was like no strawberries that year if there was a frost or something like that whatever the hell it was, I think it was more like insects. So they came up these pesticides, which in the short run were fantastic. And in the long run, you know, just poisoned animals and all of this,

it just it's unreal. It's unreal. If we would just let ourselves die naturally, instead of fighting our environment, what we're doing with the environment, I think I remember with a great thing about Breaking Bad was every move that Mr. White did to try to get out just sort of tighten the noose around his neck a little more. It just created an even bigger problem. And I feel like that's what we're doing. This is getting too dark. Sorry. Environmentalist here. Hey, Billy two tooth. I work for a wildlife group and consult with an engine energy company. I want to thank you for pointing out the biggest problem plaguing the earth. It's not fossil fuels. It's not the lack of electric cars. It's the production of useless goods. Governments and companies are

trying to blame commoners like us, even though we have much less of an effect on things than them. The militaries of the world, namely, the US are the largest polluters on the planet, yet their budgets grow by 15% year, year over year. I think you mean year after year. You're the only one I've heard in the mainstream that constantly points out the waste product made by consumers. Yeah, we've made so many advancements in fuel extractions and efficiencies yet no one talks about the consumer waste and trash piles. Absolutely. All you have to do is look at hoarders. You know, I used to do a joke of my act how I like hoarders. You know, there's an honesty to the way they live. They just sit there like this is that this is what I did. This is the mess I made

of my life as opposed to those fucking minimalists who throw all their shit out and then act like they're a genius because they got two pairs of pants. I'm not saying oil spills aren't a problem. I'm just saying that if we stop consuming goods at the rate that we do, we wouldn't have as many oil based plastics disturbing the natural order of the earth. Thanks for being a unique thinker in a world of drones and sheep who think putting a tree in their Twitter bio means they're part of the solution. Yeah, but I also think if we went like, you know, nuclear and electric, it would get us out of the Middle East and then we wouldn't have to worry about, you know, all of these nuclear programs that they're allegedly having that we for some reason can't find.

Yeah, they wouldn't have the money to do it. You could stay home, but we don't want to do that. We want to be over there and suck all their fucking resources. You know, we don't. All right. I don't want to do that, but fucking SO and all those other motherfuckers. I named a Canadian one just for the hell of it. I don't know. What the fuck do I know? My family loves reminding me that I'm broke. Jesus Christ. Dear Billy basketball ref, I'm a 25 year old man in my last year at university. I work full time late night, six days a week at a mutual labor job because I can't work a nine to five office job with school. I've been making the shit money at a shit job for my entire adult life because I bought into this idea of grinding hard until I one day graduate and get

a cushy job and confined, finally afford a home and a life. First of all, you're only 25. You're talking like you're fucking 55. My family only checks in on me once in a while to remind me that I'm poor. My sister just texted me to show off her new gold plated diamond encrusted shiny white Land Rover from the future that she got for her birthday and from her husband because the Audi SUV wasn't enough and it was starting to get old. That was in quotes. I drive a clapped out Jetta. I don't know what clapped out means, but with these description, that means you're driving a shit box with busted headlights in a cracked bumper because I can't afford to fix it. My big birthday gift is two tickets I bought myself to go see some stand up with a friend. My sister didn't

even go to college. Just she just married a guy with money and I feel like she has no idea how hard I work to just get by on my lower class lifestyle. As you may know, rent is going crazy lately and I was priced out of my one bedroom apartment and forced to move into an old house on the outskirts of town with some work friends. My parents heard about my move and rather than supporting my hard decision to relocate, all they wanted to tell me was how I chose a bad neighborhood like I'm in some idiot, like as if I'm choosing to live in the ghetto and I don't know any better. I lived in this city all through college. I'm keenly aware of what I can't afford and where I'm not saying my family owns owes me anything, but shit is at least a little moral

support too much to ask. Sometimes it is. You know, just because they're your family doesn't mean they're cool. And that's one of the weirdest things when you have to cut out people that are actually in your family. You can't always 100% do it because you are related to them or whatever, but like, you know, maybe you can just put your sister on mute a little bit. Anyway, maybe don't rub it in when you buy a six figure SUV with the seat warmers and Dick's massagers. I don't know. I know if anyone knows the feeling of being broke, it's a career comedian. So as someone who I'm sure has been there before, how do you respond to these family members? You don't. You don't. You don't. If you truly think that your sister's doing that to rubbing it

in your face to rub it in your face and she's not just clueless or whatever, then, you know, that's just something you have to like deal with it. That's a really weird thing when there's a sibling or a parent or something like that, that is in your life that, you know, you know, the deal way if you're like, you know, if you weren't related to me, that I would have cut you out of my life 20 years ago, you know, that fucking situation, that's a tough thing to be in because everyone's like, Oh, you got to hang in there because they're going to die someday and you're going to regret it. It's just like, what am I missing out on? What you really regret is that your sister isn't loving and caring or understanding

or your parents are, but there's nothing you can do about it. Anyways, he says, how do I go home from my job at 2am and not feel like an absolute loser night after night, knowing, knowing else in my circle had to do any of this quote act like you've been there before. Thanks for all the awesome free content and all the laughs. Hope you come to my state soon. Love the Red Rock special, by the way. Thank you. I don't know. You know what? I can't tell you, I haven't gone through years like that. Like I remember when I was driving a shit box and rather than trading it in, I just had a guy put a new engine in on it in the thing. And I just remember the woman that I worked with like didn't even understand it because they all had like car

notes and stuff. And I knew I wanted to be a comedian. I had to keep my expenses down. I told her, she goes, so you're going to get a new car? I said, you know what? I go, I decided to put a new engine in my truck instead. She just made this face and just goes, that was stupid. And I remember being annoyed and then after, you know, years later, thinking back going like it wasn't, it wasn't because back then I did this in like the 90s. I mean, the guy even fucked me over and it only cost me like a couple of grand as opposed to buying a new car at the time, which even like a shit one was like 12 grand. So I mean, it was a way smarter move. And then also what I liked was my truck was starting to rust out. So I had this new

engine in it so I could park it anywhere and nobody fucking knew that I had this brand new fucking engine in it. So it was sort of a sleeper. So what I would do with your sister, oh, that's awesome. Congratulations on your Land Rover and just stop expecting her to understand what it is that you're going through and don't expect your parents, you just, I would just go humor, you know, like when your parents are like, well, that's a bad neighborhood and just be like, yeah, I know, I like living on the edge. That's how I am, you know, I'm a risk taker. And then I would just block them out and I would just continue doing what it is that you're doing. So I think you do it sounds like you need some sort of direction because if

you're in result is you just want to get a cushy job where you're making money. I'm just speaking myself personally that if I had a cushy job where I was making a bunch of fucking money that I didn't love eventually, I would be bored shitless. So I would try to find a job that you love where you can make enough money to live your life and like, look, you know, I would be honest with you, I would just keep doing what you're doing. You don't need people like that in your life in your day to day. They're family, so you have to tolerate them. And I would just concentrate on trying to find a person to share your life with that you truly love. And that isn't like those people, but maybe if you had time talk to somebody to see you don't repeat it and marry somebody like your mom or your

sister if they're the way you're saying it, they are, you know, I don't know. It's a lot of shit, buddy. It's a lot of stuff you're going through. I have empathy for you, but you're only 25 years old. I mean, when I was 25, I was still living at home with a fucking rusted out car with a new engine in it. Drive into the second or last exit on the mass pike for no money. I didn't think I had those gigs yet. I was doing open mics. I had five minutes of material. I won this comedy competition called the WBCN Comedy Riot. I won the last year that they had it in 1993 at the old Stitches Comedy Club. And that's where I was at. And I still didn't get really any paid work until the next year in 94. And yeah, then I don't know, I just started

making some money in comedy. I was making money at my day job. I could have quit my day job. I didn't. I kept working there and I would do shows at night. And I just started banking the money and paying off all my credit cards and my fucking student loans. So when I moved down to New York, I had like a nest egg or whatever and I ended up trying to change the fuel filter. And I got impatient and I snapped it off and I brought it over to this guy and I told him what I did and he wasn't really listening. And I actually had the fuel filter snapped off in the driver's seat and one of his other mechanics went in to start it up and gas went over the engine had a giant fucking electrical fire. And then I remember he fucking yelled at me. And I'm like, dude,

I told you what happened. And he's like, I'm so fucking sick of you guys trying to do the job and you fuck it up and then you bring it down admit that all this type of shit. And I went down there. I remember he tried to say there was no charge and I said, no, I'm going to pay for it. And he gave me that sly look because my dad told me he said, make sure you pay for it. So there's a record that you were down there. He doesn't want you to pay for it. And I never fucking, you know, I never charged him and I didn't have the money to get the electrical fixed and I kept fucking driving the car and one day it burned down. That's basically what happened. And it ended up being a good thing because like a month later, I moved to New York and I didn't have to deal with

the car. And having a car when you live in New York City is like having a kid that never grows up and this people, you know, back then we're vandalizing it and all of that shit. So it ended up being like a good thing. But look, yeah, just keep your fucking head up. You're only 25 years old and all of this struggling that you're doing is going to build character. And and you won't have fears in life because you've been all because you've been where you've been, you know, your sister someday if the rich guy she's with goes fucking belly up, she's not going to know how to survive. Not that I'm wishing that honor. All right, overrated, underrated, dear Billy Butterball. Hey, do the fat jokes all you want. I'm only half a Butterball now. Greetings from New Hampshire.

Oh, it's God's country up there. I'm currently on summer break from my college and the podcast has been a great way to pass the time on my drive to work. Love the Red Rock special and thanks for all of your great work. Anyway, I wanted to write into the podcast to give you to give a suggestion for the overrated underrated section. I think safety features in cars are overrated. Hear me out. He says I drive a 2009 model Toyota and besides the airbag, there doesn't seem to be any safety features of any kind. And I don't think I'm missing out. My parents drive newer cars and the beeping when you back the car up or cross over the lines on the road drives me crazy. I think just cruising without any noise other than the sound of a good old classic rock album

is an underrated luxury. I love how you talk about this 2009 like you got a 1970 Camaro or something. That's how much advancement has happened since then. Anyways, good old classic rock album is an underrated luxury and that old base model car is really all you need. You drive an old truck and loved cars. So I'm curious to see what your opinion is on all the gadgets. They're stuffing into cars now. Thanks and have a good one. Well, when you have kids, you love it. And when you get into an accident, you do love it. But I will tell you what I like about my car is I do have the option of shutting it off one button. Just push it when it starts beeping. I also like it when I'm parking. I can tell you that I used to be really good at parking

and once they got the backup cameras, you sit so low in the car. It's like you really have to be looking like, okay, there's the line and then you got to pick an object. It's like dead reckoning when you're flying to park it because I can't see the lines. I got to open the door and I was better at parking. Like when I back my truck in it has no backup lights or anything like that, cameras or anything like I'm right between the lines when I drive with one that has the cameras in the airbags and all that I'm always a little bit off a little too far over a little bit of an angle. And I'm like, fuck, and I got to get back in the car and all of that shit. So I don't know. I will say with all of this technology because of this fucking chip thing,

chip. Remember Will Ferrell and the outtakes for Ricky Bobby. I don't get what the fuck how that even happened. There's like a shortage of computer chips are only made in one place. And now you got to wait like nine years for a fucking new car and all the old cars. The value of them goes through the fucking roof. I don't know. It's all the strange thing. I don't pretend to understand these things. I personally, if I'm driving with my kids, I like the latest technology, but if I'm driving by myself, I love driving the old truck. I do. All right. And that is it, my friends. Once again, thank you to everybody that came out to the Cosmo this weekend in Vegas. By the way, my wife went out to go see the Usher show last night at the was he at the Paris? I

forget where he's at, but she said the show was incredible. So if you're in Vegas, definitely check that out. If you're not going to Brad Garrett's comedy club at the MGM shout out to Brad Garrett. All right, that's it, everybody. Go fuck yourselves. And I will check it in a couple of days. That's it. Go Red Sox. Enjoy the all star break. NFL football is only six weeks away as his college football. All right, that's it. I'm done. I'll talk to you as later.