Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 7-24-23

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

Bill rambles about 'Travis Tritt', artificial intelligence, and taxidermy. Gametime:  Download the Gametime app, create and account and use the code BURR for $20 off.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday. Monday Monday, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. July 24th, 2023. What's going on? How, yeah. How's it going? Can you hear the frustration in my voice already? Can you hear it? Oh my Jesus, Lord, and Savior. Jesus hates Christ on a fucking Christmas tree. Whatever the hell he used to say back in the day. I'm wiped out. My daughter informed me late last night.

She said, Dad, that's how she first starts to ask me. She goes, Dad, and then if I say no, it becomes, Dad, so she goes, Dad, I want to have a daddy-daughter day tomorrow. When you do that with me, and I said, absolutely, that sounds fantastic. We planned out this whole day, and it's now like 7.20 at night. And I'm not going to say she's bouncing off the walls, but I was ready to go to sleep for the night about two hours ago. I can't believe how wiped out I am.

We went to an arcade and then we did some, you know, it was great. Shooting zombies and driving cars and all of that having a great time. Plates a miniature golf. Then I took her out for an ice cream. Then she said she wanted to go to a toy store and I'm looking up toys our Russ. They don't exist anymore. And I know toys our Russ took over child world. So I thought there was still one toys our Russ left in LA, but they all said permanently closed. So I thought there was still one toys on our left in LA,

but they all said permanently closed. So she's like, well, let's go to Target. I'm like, I don't wanna go to Target. Target doesn't have good toys. She was like, dad, don't say that. I'm like, I'm telling you, it's mostly crap. So we go in there, right? And you know, there's some sort of domestic dispute going out in front of a play.

You know, it's a super store. You're going to run into everybody. Everybody goes into a super store. It's like a fucking black hole of consumerism. It just, it draws everybody in. There's the shit boxes. There's fucking expensive cars. There's homeless people. there's fucking expensive cars, there's homeless people, there's fucking moms, right?

There's just everybody's there. There's people shooting up, there's people on fucking pot cookies. There's people that just work there, right? And there's dads with their kids showing up to try to find something that those seven aisles of shit that they have, right? They got a couple decent things.

A couple of Tonka trucks, sports section, they got some basketballs, footballs, bats, and shit. Even then, I would go to Dix, right? I feel like I'm doing a commercial right now for Dix, but anyway, we go in there, right? And they don't have anything. Then we go over to the video game section. It's like, I'm not signing off on any of this shit

because I don't know any of this stuff is. So when we go back, she's kind of standing there. And I look up and I see these stupid things, these kid Ryan, Ryan's world. He's got these fucking eggs. And I bought them before, because these plastic eggs in inside of them are all these toys. And every one of them is just this little plastic piece of shit. The fucking egg never comes back together again.

One of them, I swear to God, I don't know if I had like, supposed to have like lava. It was much as colored sand. It got all over the house. You can never get the egg back together. They play with it like that day and the next day and then you just got this is just much of plastic shit and someday it's gonna get thrown out it's gonna end up in the ocean and just float around bothering purposes for the next fucking 800 to a thousand years if we even have that much time left on a liable planet right

so I survived that we get out and I forgot that I told on a liable planet, right? So, I survived that. We get out and I forgot that I told her we'd go swimming afterwards. I was kind of hoping she'd forget that. But that was the best part. Well, the miniature golf and the and the arcade was fun. And then the swimming was great

because we've been in the pool almost every day. And it's my favorite thing to do is go swimming with my kids. Plus watch them get better at it, knowing that they're all right. And they've been taking swimming lessons from a great teacher once a week. And then I just swim with them the whole week. And so now, you know, they can both swim, which is huge, which is huge. So that's bigger than riding a bike, you know? You fall off the bike, your bounce on the ground,

no biggie, you can still breathe, you fall into a fucking pool, you know? So, ended up doing that, but Jesus Christ takes a lot out of you. You know what I saw when I was there? They had batting cages too at this place. And I don't think I've been in a batting cage. I can't even remember I was thinking like,

I didn't have to set that to about 35 miles an hour to get around and catch up with something. But I wanted to get in there. So bad. Take a couple of rips. See what the fuck happens? See if I still got a little bit of freckle power in me. You know? You walk by the cage, you're still fantasizing.

Some scouts gonna see in a batting cage next to a miniature golf course. You know? You know, I can believe this is a 55 year old rookie just signed with the Milwaukee Brewers. Yeah, anyways, that was kind of, that was my day, had a big week. I told you guys, I don't know if I tell you a Thursday, you know, I finally sold up to Santa Barbara. I did that.

And then the next two days later, I went up and I sold up to Santa Enez. And I just never flown around up there. It's a really, just a fun place to be. It's not a lot of people's weekdays. There wasn't a lot of people up there. And it's really beautiful, really peaceful. The second day I went up there, went up to San Diego, I just flew around Santa Barber's airspace.

So one of these days I'm going to figure out how to fly all the way up the passive roadways. That's as far as I want to go. I think, you know, at that point, you know, you get, you know, you fucking ass is killing you by the time you get back. I flew away, what was it? 2.2, that's like enough, because I sort of landed, I stretched a little bit,

I went in and I got a water, and then I took off again, and on the way back, as I was going through like Seamy Valley, I felt like I'd been on a bicycle too long. I was like, all right, I just want to land this thing. You know, it was funny, it was this guy who came in. If whatever reason, he landed this A-star facing the opposite way, you know, then the

way we were landing. So all the other helicopters were pointing the other way. And the only little landing pad area was the one right next to his. So our tails were both, you know, I would have had so much more space if he had landed the other way. I don't know why he landed that way.

Especially in A-star, cause I heard they're really squirrely and to be landing with the tailwind, I don't know why you would do that, but he did whatever. So that made that fun when I came back. He was still there. So I didn't have the nice wide turn to line it up with the pad at a kind of like tuck it in and then come forward and set it down and I wasn't happy the way I landed and I lifted it up and set it back down again.

Which I usually once I set it on the pad I'm like all right well you know I didn't kill myself let's leave it at that and this time I was like now lift it up and put it where you want it to put it and I was able to do that and pretty proud of myself. So if I can get a couple more hours in here, the end of the month, I'm trying to get like 10 hours in a month, which I have not done once this year. I haven't flown much at all this year because I've just been, you know, busy on the road and whatever, doing shit and then being a dad.

So, but these longer flights that I now know how to do, if I get a day where I can go, knock out a couple hours, I feel like I can stay pretty proficient or whatever. But you guys don't want to hear all of that shit, do ya? I mean, what else am I going to do right now? It's the dog days of summer. I have so many friends of mine that are sports fans just going like, dude, this is the worst part of the year.

I don't know what to do. It's like the fucking, they had Wimbledon. They just had Wimbledon. You got baseball. Oh, it could have been a little baseball. Well, it's not fast, it's too slow for you. Is that what it is? You have to think.

I hate people who whine about fucking baseball. I've done it too, but it's just like, it's a great fucking game. Quit your fucking whining. You know, get yourself a lawn chair and a little AMFM transistor radio. You know, a little picture of fucking Arnold Palmer and just sit there and listen to the ballgame. I get it. You know, it's not the NBA every five seconds.

Everybody clap their hands. You can't. The fucking slap in your hand if you fucking forehead. The NBA, I swear to God, the NBA is for fucking morons. Not the game, not the people that play it, not the strategy, none of that shit, but as a fan experience, the level of dumb that they think that you are, that God forbid a half a second goes by. We have to keep these people entertained the entire Fucking time they treat everybody there like like a fucking toddler

On on on a on a fucking trans continental flight Jumping around they do everything but wiggle fucking you know dangle keys in front of your face God for fucking bid You sit there for two seconds and contemplate what the fuck you just watched and try to figure out what's going on the court! How can I do that when a hundred scannily clad fucking whores wearing less clothes than what prostitutes wore when I was a kid come running out and start tumbling Spinning plates or whatever the fuck is happening? running out and start tumbling, spinning plates or whatever the fuck is happening. All right. All right. Goddamnit. Try to listen to my Travis trick.

I ever tell you something. That's my favorite thing to yell in a southern accent. Travis trick. I'm going down there going to see Travis Trent, but I can't get these liberal fucking assholes. Gotta go down there and prove! I want to start, you know, because my son has started cursing because of me, so I got to watch what I say. I got to watch what I say. I'm going to just start doing like, I'm just gonna say, like country singers.

Like if something really bug off, Travis, track, right? Charlie, Daniels. I gotta get, cause it's gonna put me in a stupid mood. I'll stop cursing. Oh, there's no country singer with an F, is it? Ah, instead of saying for fuck's sake. Ah, whaling Jennings.

Travelling is the only one that just fucking brings a smile to my face and also I feel the anger leave my body. Like when I say fucker content. It's one of my favorite names in show business. Travis Trit. You know what I mean? Like how do you not say that name and not have a fucking smile on your face?

Travis Trit. It's fucking amazing. It's like my kids, they get in the water. You get in the water, there's buoyancy, you're immediately smiling, smiling, right? Maybe that's what it is. Is it possible for a name to be buoyant? What am I even talking about right now?

I don't know. I have no idea. You know what it is? I'm actually stressing right now because I don't know. I have no idea. In order to this is, I'm actually stressing right now because I know it's like 7.30 and my son's going to start acting up. And we're working on his temper tantrums. All kids have at his age, so we're just like ignoring it.

And oh, man, he had won the other night I swear to God he was yelling so much I thought my neighbors were gonna you know come knocking on the door something and I just waited it out 20 minutes he's stubborn you know and he finally just tuckered himself out and And then when he was quiet, I went over and I put the toothpaste on the toothbrush, I handed it to him and then he was all quiet going like, okay, brush teeth, brush teeth. I didn't say anything and then he gets in bed, he's like, Dad, I read story, Dad, I read story. I just nodded and I grabbed the book. I read him, good night, good night, construction site,

or maybe farming strong all year long. One of those ones, right? And then he goes, all right, night, night, dad, and I gave him a nice hug. And a kiss and I said, all right, good night, buddy. And he just went right to sleep. He had warned himself. The only thing I've ever seen, wear him out.

The only thing they can wear him out is him. Unbelievable. It's like, you know, they're like, did they were fucking new car? Everything works, everything's brand new. Everything does what it's supposed to do, just responds. I was watching, what the hell was I watching? Oh, cause I've been doing like a lot of stretching.

Of course, I haven't been doing it the last week. I gotta get back into it. So I've been watching a bunch of videos because my masseuse passed away. And she was the best. So I was, you know, Diana Linden, Reston Pee, so I'm so worried my sciatic issues are going to come back that I've just been doing all of this stretching and making sure I got the foam roller and all of that type of stuff. So on Instagram, there's all these like it's sort of like yoga but like they show like I don't know how to explain it. It's not like yoga, it's more like flowing, stretching and stuff like that.

You have stuff good for your hips, your stuff, quick to your back and all that type of stuff. So because I did that, now in my algorithm it's all like these workout videos. So it's all these guys like lifting, doing like this crazy kettlebells shit and they, every one of those ones when I watch the video, the entire time I'm watching it, I'm just going ow, ow, ow, ow. But they're young, and the shoulders are still good, their knees are still good. If you're young and you're lifted weights and all of that, just please get a personal trainer and work on your form.

So you don't accidentally wear out joints and shit because it becomes a motherfucker. But I will say this, I've dropped a bunch of weight this month. Oh fucking COVID fucking belly is going down. And not Billy Fatcakes anymore. All right, I'm sort of like an acceptable, I have an acceptable punch right now,

but I'm gonna keep, like I'm gonna keep going because I'm not doing this anymore. It's so stupid. I walked around with this weight for three fucking years, and all I had to do was just, you know, three weeks,, three weeks. Just three weeks, get on it, turn the whole fucking ship around and be Billy Slimcakes.

The green shirt diet, the green shirt fucking diet is on the board here. So here's something that I've had to deal with a lot in my life is narcissists. And it's kind of crazy. Every time I feel like I got the last narcissist out of my life, another one pops up. And I'm just so fascinated how they don't know what causes it.

Like they don't know if you're born with it, and then they're like, is it overattention, could be overattention as a child, underattention as a child? I don't know what it is. I feel like, I feel like you get too much attention. I don't think you become a narcissist,

I think you just come in arrogant ass. I think it come, I, if I had a guess with no, you know, psychology degree whatsoever, no, no, no training, no, not to, I think it comes from neglect and feeling absolutely worthless. And then the only way that you can survive is in your head, you build yourself into being like this God. Took try to, that's the only way you can level yourself out. Narcistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an

unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. Jesus Christ, I'm all that sentence right there. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. All right, I don't have that. This is like a serial killer. You have a look at it, they'll fucking the, what do they call it? The top five traits of a serial killer and you got like three of them. the What do they call it the

Top five trades of a serial killer and you got like three of them It's like I came so close All of those rest areas in my stand-up career that I just drove by if I was just one more thing I would have gone in there 28 day workout challenge for seniors this is for seniors and it starts ages 40 to 45, 45 to 50, 50 to 55. That guy looks like Santa Claus. He shredded. He's got Dwayne Johnson's torso with Santa Claus, with a Santa Claus fucking fucking beard that's 50 to 55 and 55 plus uh... jesus you're gonna get that shredded that's h g h in steroids anyway his symptoms have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance

we're trying to get where to that one feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment. Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements. This sounds like half the women I dated. Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are. Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate. I definitely had always preoccupied with fantasies about success.

Haha! Believe they are superior to others you can only spend time. No, I have a crushing need to be liked. Be critical or look down on people they feel are not important but blah blah blah all of this type of shit. Alright, let's look up serial killers. I got a lot with them. I don't have a lot with narcissists

serial killer top traits top fucking traits traitors trit uh... the most most serial killer traits are grandiosity, narcissism, superficial charm, manipulation,

addictive personality, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, I got that lust for power. Sensation seeking. Is that porn addiction? Well, give me that. That's two. The McDonald Triad. Well, I don't like that list. I thought I had more than that. that's two the mcdonald triad well i don't like that i don't like that list i thought i would i thought i

had more than that why would i want to have more than really bill just for comedy sake did you see that fucking btk killer they cut this other serial killer and he was basically like you know that guy's a carbon copy of me he basically a serial killer said about another serial killer he's ripping me off man he's the great event fleet of fucking

fucking serial killers man he just doing zeppelin 11 common signs of a serial killer the most common traits are lack of empathy lack of remorse impulsivity grandiose z narcissism superficial charm manipulation addictive personality luster power sensation seeking what is the fucking mcdonald triad

when we got to see this now you You know what's hilarious is I'm scrolling down this video of Jeffrey Dahmer and then there's a picture of George Clooney. For the completely different article like George Clooney's a serial killer. Grandiosity. Tell me the BTK killer is not Mr. White from Breaking Bad. If he actually shaved his whole head, all right hang on a second. Where are we going? The McDonald Triad and Animal Cruelty. Oh boy. Experts believe that the McDonald Triad post three specific behaviors in children, which suggests a person may become violent as an adult, bed wetting, fire starting, and

childhood abuse towards animals. Who's the MacDonald guy? The McDonald's fight McDonald's triad history Who who are you who came up with the McDonald I used to know Donald triad was it Michael McDonald please all the five fucking things that make you a killer I know people love him but he doesn't he also kind of sound like a Tesla backing up. All right. The MacDonald Triad was developed in 1961 by John MacDonald. He always had a name it after yourself to make sure you got credit. That was me! The triad- okay.

Alright, so John McDonald. John McDonald, no about serial killers. E-I-E-I-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- All right, I thought I had more... More than what the fuck am I? What should I... You guys tell me what I should Google. The top five traits of a dumb bald cunt. Oh, somebody used an expression wrong.

He's not the smartest... He's not the smartest tool in the shed. I love that one because it's a shit non-sombrity for being dumb as you're not smart enough to say it correctly. Fantastic. Did I mention I have a new show at it. Reno, Nevada October 28th at the Reno Events Center. Pre-sale is Wednesday at 10 a.m. local time with Code Burr on sale to the public Friday.

Two reads. All right, wait. You show at it, Reno, Nevada, October 28th at the Reno Events Center. Pre-Sale's Wednesday at 10 a.m. Code Burr on sale Friday. I love Reno. Godfather the two baby. Oh, cool it is

everybody. Game time. Game time. Travis Travis, Travis, try to get your fucking ass in here right now. All right, game time. Buying tickets to your favorite event shouldn't be stressful. Game time. It's the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all sports, music, comedy, and theater near you. With killer deals on last-minute tickets and their best price guarantee, you can stop stressing over the tickets and start getting hyped for the fun you'll have. Game time. It's the best place for last-minute ticket deals. Forget planning months in advance. Game time has deals on tickets right up to the day of the events. It's the fastest-growing ticket app in the country for a reason. Get images of your seat before you buy, see an exactly what to expect when you arrive. Well not really. What if you have some drunk sit behind you?

Did they fucking paint that guy in? Belching in your ear? Buy tickets in a matter of seconds, two taps in your set. Tickets are sent directly to your phone so you never have to dig through your email. I love that. Alright, cutting out the middle man of shit that makes old dads like me fuck things up. Snag the ticket without stress, the with game time download the game time app Create an account and use the code burb you are for $20 off your first purchase terms apply again Create an account and redeem code burr for $20 off download game time today last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed All right bill good emails

All right, Bill, good emails. All right, retirement tour. What are we talking about, Elton John? You know I'm a dreamer. No, that's fucking motley crew. What was Elton John? What's a good Elton John? brother you are older than me do you still feel the pain I still want to hear that third verse that was anti war and he was like do I make a statement about war or do I am I able to buy another fucking bedazzle Donald duck suit and he

chose himself retirement toward everybody dear Bill a co-worker of mine told me that he heard your honor on a radio interview say that this was your last tour i won't be able to see this time around in my hometown but is this your last tour i may have to fly somewhere to see you can you give me some clarity now it's not my last tour uh... i don't know why this

person thought I said that. Maybe I alluded to, you know, I don't know, being tired on the road. Listening to Travis, I always threatened to do shit like that. But then I'm just like, well, what the fuck would I do? Oh my god, I know what I would do. I'd become 450 pounds. That's what I would do. I'd go to the movies. You know what I would do? I would putts around town. Even though I live in this giant fucking city, I really live, I like just living in a couple of blocks. You know, I really live, I like just living in a couple of blocks.

You know, if I get across like two major streets, I'm just like, you know what? I don't wanna do that. That's what I think we need to do, people. We all, we all, everybody needs to live a smaller fucking life. And you know where it should start at the airport? All right, here's my question to all the people at the airport. Where the fuck are you going? I've never seen so many goddamn families traveling all the whole fucking year. Where the fucking you going? Stop spoiling your kids. My wife said that the

other day she goes,'re gonna be alone with her son what are you gonna do with them. I'm like nothing we're staying home we got a backyard we got a bunch of fucking toys. How come every day has to be some you know chucky cheese and let's let's go to the fucking trampoline place. They didn't have any of that shit. Okay, the fucking parents are like, what's that? Pick up a stick and imagine it's something. All right, I have coffee to drink and cigarettes to smoke. I'm making Jello! Get out, sir!

Then you'd be excited. She's making Jello. Oh, I hope she puts a walnut in the middle of it. That was the worst shit ever. Jello was just fucking disgusting. It didn't even, even though it was made of sugar, it didn't even taste it. It just was shit. I don't know what it was. Like, if any of you like McDonald's, they're always talking about it. They have that pink slime. At least the pink slime is fucking delicious.

Oh, God, there was this fucking woman across the street. She had this recipe, my mother made it. Like in Jello, they would put like grapes and nuts and all of this stuff and then put like whipped cream on top of it. It was just a fucking abomination. It was literally like a slaughterhouse. Like whatever was left on the floor, You just threw it into a hot dog. This was like the I don't know what the dessert version of it But anyway

No, I am not I am not anywhere near retirement But I am gonna I am working around my family though. Like I'm not just fucking gonna be out there. You know, road dog and the way I used to or whatever. And then going right to an acting gig and then fucking taping a special and then right to new hour and fucking doing all- I'm not doing that. Not doing that shit anymore.

And whatever the price is I have to pay, I don't give a fuck. Because I would rather do what I did today. You know, with my kids and everything, I had just, had a great time. You know, answer the subject. I'm spending so much time with my kids and I still have to listen to people go, make sure you take it in. Make, are you taking it in? Yes, I am, I'm here. I have the disposable income and the time to be around.

And I'm enjoying it, okay? Thank you for your fucking warning. You know? Just, just make sure you enjoy, just take, take lots of pictures. Take, I'm doing that, I'm taking video. Yes, you told me, I get it. Long videos, don't take quick ones. just take take lots of pictures take I'm doing that I'm taking video yes you I you told me I get it long videos don't take quick ones you wish you took longer

ones I got it I got it I'm I've taken in all the information thank you thank you I'm actually gonna miss out on their childhood listening to people weren't you know finishing like warning me just make sure you take it all in. By the way, when the fuck did that happen? Where everybody just has this fucking, you know, this need to give out like, life advice, like unsolicited, you're gonna give me some pointers on how to live life.

Get me some pointers on how to be a dad. Next time somebody says that, make sure you take it all in. I want to be like, oh yeah, how did your kids turn out? Like where's your credentials? I don't see any fucking diploma on the wall. Who the fuck are you? Oh you got kids. I have kids too. Fantastic. You have a car. I have a car too. I'm not going to take it. I'm maintained it.

I'm not a mechanic. This is the funniest thing about being a fucking parent is anybody can do it. You know, anybody can become a fucking parent. You know, unless you got some medical issues, right? Unless God didn't want you to fucking reproduce, but even then you can go around it. You know what I mean? You can sign some woman to a fucking nine month contract to be in your league before you send her back down to the miners. Yeah, anybody can fucking do it. So like, they're acting like they're like

taking you under their wing. You know, I didn't, I'm not looking for a mentor. Are you taking it in? You know, life goes by so fast. Oh yeah, have you savored every second of it? So you're gonna waste this part of your life talking to me about how fast it goes by. You're actually wasting both. Everybody knows it goes by fast.

I'm 55 fucking years old. Do you think this is the first fucking time? And you think I haven't noticed? I don't even know who the fuck I'm talking to right now. All over fucking Instagram, it's my favorite thing. He's watching these fucking people who you don't recognize, who never say what they've achieved, telling you how to achieve. That whole stupid rise and grind,

all of that dumb shit, you don't need to do that. Okay, you can enjoy your life and be successful and what you think is successful. Oh, now I'm doing it. I'm just trying to like, I'm giving you advice on how not to listen to other people's advice. Oh my God, it's contagious. Now I need to shut the fuck up.

Guys, just make sure when you're on Instagram and that you take it all in. Because it goes four hours of your life that you're never going to get back. Goes by so fast watching 28 second videos. All right. What else we got here? AI. Allen Iverson? That's the only AI I want to know about. Hey Bill, I haven't heard you talk about AI. That's because it's terrifying. And then I also find it fucking hilarious. I am sad

for the regular work and class person, poor person, regular, fuck eight, blood just pants on, weren't that? He listens to Travis Trent! On his fucking CD players, still he's got got that all the original one that was in his old cutlass got a four CD changer in the fucking trunk tears for fears is back they never went away in his car I feel bad for what it's gonna do for regular people, but then there's a joy that I have

that it's literally going to destroy the people that are gonna unleash it on us. It's gonna be like Frankenstein. It's gonna turn around and it's going to literally bite the hand that's made it or whatever. Bite the hand that feeds. I'm giving advice. I'm fucking up expressions. I think the combination of AI and corporate greed and their insatiable desire to make more money every quarter when you combine the two of those fucking things. Everything from their fucking wing tips down is going to be expendable, including the

planet. And then eventually when all of that stuff has been expended, it's going to turn around and it's going to eat them. So, I don't know. I just found out this week that when extras work on movies, these corporate cons scan their face and then own their face, make them sign something, they own their face and then they can use them as extras and background and crowd scenes. And on all medias, yet to be invented and all that for the rest of fucking time. I mean, it's just straight up fucking evil. Just the level of fucking greed.

I'm telling you, in another life, I want to go to the corporate route. I just want to hear those conversations. How they just sit in there and they try and figure out how to make more and more money and they just don't give a fuck who they're hurting. Crazy. Anyway, I haven't heard you talk much about AI. Well, there you go. That's my opinion on it.

Considering it has progressed faster than any other technology, it's probably worth noting that your kids will use AR regularly in their life. I don't doubt that. Instead of going right to the doctors, they'll be able to get information as accurate as a doctor, as well as faster and cheaper. They will be as not as non-doctors. They'll be able to get information and then how are they supposed to process it as non-doctors. Getting legal help will be cheaper as well. Oh, and what else is it going to be the paperless office? Every technology that comes out is supposed to make your life fucking easier, simpler, and you're supposed to work less hours,

and it's just never happening. Someone victimized by the system will be able to research what laws they have to protect them. Yeah, they're doing away with all laws to protect any individuals. The fact that that fucking shit that they put on organic fruit now, that wax, they don't even have to say what's in it,

they go, it's 30%, there's seventy percent of the stuff that we're not telling you you didn't used to be able to do that used to have to at least lie come up with some ingredients like yeah we're not doing that anymore anyways the big battle is who will control the information put into the a i systems rubbing chin i wonder who that will be. Joe six pack? I don't think so.

What is, you wanna meet the big battle? It's gonna be the same fucking cunts that have always been sending the information in the head. The people that are fucking running shit in positions of power. They're gonna be the ones that decide what information you get and they're gonna decide how you're supposed to process the ones that decide what information you get and they can decide how you're supposed to process the information. If you decide to process it in a different way, you'll be

labeled a communist or an enemy of the state, at least in this country. I imagine in Russia, you're labeled a capitalist or woke, whatever the fucking word is now, or you'll be called a trumper. Yeah, just so it doesn't seem like only people on the right are labeling people. The left probably does more labels than the right. All right, the big battle is who's going to control bubble? Is there anything you'd like to have A.I. assist you with in your day-to-day life? Yes. Dismantling the corporate structure and racist

hate groups. I would start there. Everything else with them. I'm pretty cool with. Um... I feel like that was like really like sent by some AI corporation man. Look at all the great things it's gonna do. Hey Bill, in your life is there anything you would like to have it assist you with? This is gonna be a great technology for everybody. You know what all depends though, you know, the fly in the oint mint is how it's applied in who has control of it really fucking times you heard that all right weight loss medications for kids bill was just reading through the news to find an article for my current events class and found out that childhood obesity is so bad

that they're considering early intensive treatment like weight loss medication what childhood obesity is not the fucking problem it's our food supply and lack of information to the average person. So what you have is somebody who's probably already obese has a kid and then they just eat the way their parents do. So instead of treating the cause, they're going to treat the symptom, which is obesity.

Oh my god, that's devastating. I feel so bad for those kids. My assignment is to respond to this article with editorial questions. The first one comes to mind is why are they so fat and why aren't people asking why they're so fat? Exactly. If you want to get to the root of the problem, my only first-hand experience with kids is my little cousin and he and all his friends are kind of fat. I'm only 24, even for me, when I was a kid, we had to get on a bike or walk to see our friends. And from what my mom tells me,

he's just playing games with them online all day. Yeah, he already has a fucking desk job. All right, let me click on this. Click on this link here. Open link. Child obesity rates continue to rise in the US affecting nearly one in five kids and adolescents.

It's all my Twitter. Hey, it's the Twitter guy gonna fight the Facebook guy. Is that actually gonna happen? And then does the winner fight that other guy? Who's fighting the retired fighters? I think that that's what should happen. Like they have to battle each other to be ranked number to get a title shot at Jake Paul. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and he's still like, is acting like a nerd. Where I feel like the Twitter guy thinks he's cool now.

You know what I mean? He's got the hair plugs, he got the laminated face, you know. He's walking around. He's fucking lion's mane of jet black dyed hair. You know, he needs to be taken. I always, you know, I feel like he's the guy at the weigh-in that would do some douchey shit did you know he he needs to be taken i always you know i feel like he's the guy at the way in that would do some do she shit you know uh... anyway child obesity rates continue to rise in the u.s. affecting nearly

one in five kids and adolescents to combat it experts are calling for an early and intensive treatment for some kids that may include weight loss medications oh my god some kids that may include weight loss medications. Oh my God. What to know about weight loss drugs for teens? Jesus, fucking Christ, the metabolism is never going to be higher. Just start feeding them healthy food and tell them to go for fucking walk. All right, taxidermi and girlfriend's dad. All right, taxidermy and girlfriend's dad. Bill, my new girlfriend's dad is a taxidermist. How the fuck does he make a living? Don't those people that throw paint on you?

They don't come by and throw like fucking, right as he's finishing, putting to my balls in a yak. They don't come by and throw a bucket of paint on it. Murder, murder, murder me, and then run away, whatever the fuck they say. Bill, my new girlfriend's dad is a taxidermist. Was your old girlfriend's dad a fucking blacksmith? Like, what, do you live in a commune? My mom doesn't like my girlfriend.

She said her forearms are too small and can't churn butter. What do I do? Alright, this would be fine, but he's also a bit weird. Yeah, I think they're all weird. Guys who run funeral parlors, taxidermists, they're all weird, but I think they scratch that serial killer itch. They're around it enough The strange part is that she thinks He's normal even though she seems normal and She should think he's strange example. He only eats canned fruit and never washes his hair

Oh, dude get the fuck up. That is coming over your house, everything's giving. Fuck you. I don't give a shit what you think about this girl. Get that whole family tree. That can take a fucking walk right there. On top of that, he won't eat in a restaurant. He thinks that people,

he thinks people that do are the ones who are weirdos. I asked her why, hoping there was some ridiculous reason that I could use as a placeholder for why someone would think like that. It's sanitary concerns would be a good reason for me, but nope, he doesn't have one. It has me questioning how serious this relationship could ever get if I have to have this guy in my life the whole time Am I nuts for thinking this? Not only are you not nuts, you fucking, you're, you're, you're seeing the future.

All right, part of marrying somebody is you marry into their family and those are the fucking people that are going to be coming over All right, so a fucking weirdo taxidermers with his smelly ass fucking hair eating goddamn prunes out of a can I mean How soon before he stops cutting his hair and let's his nails grow like Howard Hughes? I Howard Hughes. I don't know, dude. I just feel like one, if you married his daughter, one day, you know, you'd wake up early in the morning and you'd walk, you know, get yourself poised up, little glass of orange juice, and as you're drinking it, you know, scratching your lower back, listening to Travis, treat it, right?

You're gonna look out your fucking window and just see him standing out there. And it's gonna send a jolt of electricity through your fucking heart and then he's gonna look at you and then turn and slowly walk away. And then you're gonna go upstairs and be like, honey, honey, your dad was outside standing in the yard. And she'd just be like, oh yeah, you know, that's just dad.

He does that sometimes. And then you can be like, that's some weird you out. And you see, oh, you're weird you out you're being silly you're being silly and then later on that night your brush and teeth and you'll see like I don't know next to your wall of beauty shit they have you see like a knife in there be like is that a knife oh Oh, yeah, yeah, it is Well, why is that there? I've never seen that knife before. Oh, I just found it I just I use it. I was I bought a new blouse and I was cutting a tag off of it It's just why why what's wrong with you? We think I'm gonna kill you

You're doing the right thing. You just gotta fucking, you gotta walk away from this. Because you know something, at no point did you say like this girl really has something. You can't put your finger on it. I'm not feeling love here. I just feel like this is somebody that you can get along with that will fuck you. All right, that's not love. Okay, and if you don't have love, even if you just have a fucking spend a summer knowing

that any second, some guy attacks a dermis with unwashed hair with a can of fucking peaches and a little fork is going to come walking in. Oh my God, get the fuck out of that. All right, anyways, congratulations to Max for snapping. I got to watch that race. I was psyched when Lewis Hamilton got the pull. Max got the last five in a row and I was thinking, all right, the second half of the season's here. Mercedes is going to come on. Maybe that, but maybe that'll still happen. I haven't looked at the standings in forever. Speaking of which, how about those fucking Baltimore Orioles? In first fucking place, the wheels falling off

down in Tampa. They're slumping. Did they peak too early, which makes no sense? Like, were they supposed to try and lose games? That's another one that makes no sense like were they supposed to try and lose games that's another one that makes no sense did they peek too early now you try to win every fucking night I'm sorry we were winning we're not trying any less it's a stupid question asked by fat sports writers that were not picked in gym class the same thing with if four games are in your building and three games are in their building, if they win game one, they didn't just take away

home court advantage. You're still gonna have more home games in your fun. Even at that point, you still got fucking three in your building, three in theirs, that the math just doesn't work. It's some dumb shit made up by people at ESPN. I'm blaming them Anyway, the Baltimore Orioles

The last time I can remember them being in first fucking place this late this season was 1983 and they won it all With Rick Dempsey Eddie Murray and Doug DeSensei. I think Earl Weaver was gone by then. Anyway, I think it's fucking great. Are the braves still killing it? I love baseball. I really do, and I don't mind that it's a slow game.

Like they got the pitch count now. The game flies by. It's fantastic. Football fans, which you're fucking whining. When can I start my fantasy football league? Huh. I mean, people in fantasy football, they're right up there.

They're right up there with those people that go to Comic Con. No, I mean, it's the same fuck. Oh my God, wait, there was a comedian that did a fucking bit about that. That was fantastic. Let me get back in my lane here. But there is.

Is something just fucking pathetic and sad? No. Fantasy football league. I don't understand. I mean, just like, get out of the loveless marriage. fantasy football league. I don't understand. I mean, just like get out of the loveless marriage. You know? The only thing I do like about it is it's a way to know, like,

almost everybody in the league. Because they just don't make football cards the way they used to. They won't give you all of them. Bill, are you gonna bitch about the same stuff? Maybe I am. Maybe I am. All right, you know what? I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna lie to you. I feel like so blessed that I had such a wonderful day today with my daughter. And I spent like the last couple days with my son. And you know, so all of you parents out there, I don't need you to tell me how special these days are. I don't need you to tell me how special these

days are. I don't need you to tell me that they're going to go by quick. I don't need you to tell you someday you're going to wish that I realize that. I realize that. Okay. Just let me enjoy this fucking time and stop being some fucking, you know, parental ghoul over in the corner going someday. You know, I'm not gonna miss it.

All right, I'm fucking here and I'm enjoying it, but I'm not gonna be literally sitting there staring at them. They gotta fucking, you know, have some time to themselves. All right, Jesus, fucking Christ. All right, let's see, it started off nice. I am, I have a great fucking life. Thanks to you guys coming out to my shows.

I really appreciate everybody, every single person that bought a ticket this year that gives me, you know, the life that I have that I actually can go out and hang out with my kids. No, granted. I didn't go out and buy a Ferrari and be a fucking idiot, either. So there's that, you know. Thank God my dream car was an F-250.

All right, that's it. To the fucking Red Sox, like, four or five games above 500 and we're still in last place. I mean, the A-L East is no fucking joke. We'll see. I'm excited. I am excited about baseball. I like football too, but I am excited. Alright, that's it.

Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday. I am excited. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday.