Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 7-25-22

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

Bill rambles about medical side effects, Red Rocks reactions, and plastics.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday! Oh, Jesus! It's Monday again! What am I doing with my life? July 25th, 2022! Are you feeling that right now? Are you on your way to work going? What would happen if I just kept driving? You know? Wouldn't it be great if you just fucking were driving by the building right as you're superior? Your boss, your manager, the douche who you have to listen to was standing out there and you just sort of look at them as you drive by and they're looking at you like why are you going by the entrance and you just kind of look at them and just shake your head now?

Like, not today, buddy. Not today, not today, sweetheart! Just put the window down. Listen, not feeling it today. Well, I'll tell you why. I can tell you exactly why. Let me pull up. You have owned every Monday of my fucking life, of my life! Call back to the pirate. For the last fucking six years, okay? Let me tell you something, sugar tits. I'll give some reference. This Monday is mine! This is my Monday. That's another thing that, you know, you could just win political office. And if elected, I would say that once a month you are allowed to say to your manager that this is my Monday.

Why is this so fucking loud? It just seems like everything was fine. Hey! Most people do the levels before they do a podcast. I don't know what happened. All of a sudden it got a little loud over here. Must be a goddamn vomit in this fucking shithole. Alright, so you guys know, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that me, okay, Mr. fucking Phony Hollywood, grew up on the East Coast, right dude? Everybody out there was too fucking real for him. So he fucking hopped in his fucking car, drove across the country out to fucking La La Land

where they're fucking bunch of pedophiles fucking each other in a hot tub, right? That's what goes on out there. You would think that I am just a lost cause, but you know, I always keep coming back to my inner redneck. You know what I mean? I do. Like, uh, electrics. And I've been actually wanting to, you know, my wife won't let me get a gun, right? So, as far as she knows, there's no gun in the house. Hey, you know what I'm saying? Well, she don't know what hurt it. Well, maybe it will. Um, I actually saw these things for all you, uh, uh, uh, gun, gun people out there.

All right. I got a question for you. What do you think about these? I took a picture. There was a sign. I was going for a ride in my old truck today and I saw a sign that said non-lethal projection, no background checks, no permits required, interstate travel friendly. So my question is, what does it do? You know, house, okay, it's non-lethal, which means this and then that would mean there's no way for me to kill you with this thing. So what exactly does it do? Does it shoot a giant net out like fucking a villain

on the Batman series? Like what comes out the end of it? What do you think about it? My big thing, because I don't mind killing somebody that comes into my house. I don't have a problem with that. You know what I mean? Unless it gets on the rug, then it's like, ah, Jesus, I gotta fucking cut that section out. Uh, no, it's, um, you know, my thing is my fucking ears. You know what I mean? My ears already ring. I don't need to be, you know, blowing somebody away and then my ears are ringing even louder. Uh, that would annoy the shit out of me. So I'm wondering what these non-lethal ones,

or can't you put like rock salt into your fucking, uh, shotgun? Like what do they shoot at white people in Portland, Oregon? What are the cops? I don't want the ammunition that they shoot at non-white people. I want the ammunition that they shoot at white people because, you know, not because I don't want to kill somebody that would, you know, if anybody ever came out of my house. It's, it's just, I just don't want that loud bang and then my ears ring even fucking louder. Although I've been reading up on tinnitus, or tetanus, how the fuck are you supposed to say it? Um, and these people are, you know, it's just all of this shit that claims that they can cure it,

which obviously they can't. So I always get the name of the product and then you try to look up a review. And these people are such pieces of shit that they actually have, they've actually created phony reviews that pop up first, hoping that you're going to read that. Like I talked to a guy recently, you know, I told you I'm getting rid of some stuff, selling some guitars. I got my suits that I wore on Letterman and this guy has a comedy like museum. I'm going to donate them to him. And I was talking to him and he was, he said, was talking all of this crazy stuff. He was saying how, you know, there's a, there's a medicine they give you. Um, I got to be careful here because it's the internet, nothing has to be right, right?

Just look into this shit. If you get prescribed Valtrex, he was saying an alarming amount of people, I thought, you know, it wasn't like 0.00% it was like an actual percentage, like, you know, like 15% or 7%. It does like irreparable damage to your kidneys. So people take that if they, if they got like herpes or cold sores or like, uh, if they, they're older and they had shingles. And I guess the information according to this guy was on the FDA website, but they buried it because from what I've heard, the FDA was infiltrated from people that used to work in the pharmaceutical industry, which they never should have even allowed to have those fucking psychopaths on there, but nobody gives a fuck, right? And he was also telling me that vitamin C is, is really bad for your kidneys too.

And you have to watch out for the amount and he was claiming that the amount of vitamin C in an emergency, which I take when I'm going on the fucking road, he said, what's in that packet is too much. Now I don't know, and I don't know where to research, like, how do you find out what the right information is? And can somebody anonymously who works in the pharmaceutical company, uh, uh, uh, industry write in just, how do you do that for a fucking living? Like, how do you just sit there and come out with some shit that you know has some crazy side effects for a certain portion of people and then fucking do everything you can to hide that fucking information and actually create phony fucking reports? It's crazy. I sound like an anti-vaxxer right now, don't I? You got to pick your battles, man. You got to pick your battles. Uh, who knows?

I went, I went with the vaccine because they first tried it out in England, which is a bunch of white people. So I figured, all right, it's got to work on some level because generally speaking, white people will sue the shit out of you, you know, because of their status, you know? Do you think the royal family can even get COVID if you're like totally like inbred or whatever? I mean, I think what that fucking redheaded kid did in the royal family was, it was needed genetically. I mean, they were disappearing up their own royal freckled assholes. Like, I mean, just how many more like, you know, I'm not gonna lie, I would say the older fella there, the blonde one, was a good looking dude, but a lot of them, whew, Jesus, Jesus, you know, quite because they're a royal family.

They should, they should be beautiful. Well, yeah, all the Hollywood movies, you know, all of those ones. There's always like beautiful people, you know, and all of those Lord of the Rings. There's always some porcelain skin fucking fragile woman in distress. Is there or now do they make them all like, you know, now all the women are like badass? I don't know if they still do that, where they just treated women like such shit and made them such weak characters for all these years that they didn't, and then they just did like a 180. And rather than writing a strong female character up against a strong male character, they just, they just flipped. It's like, all right, now the woman's strong, the guy's a pussy. And then all of a sudden there was like all these, these fucking action movies. Well, I don't mind if the woman's a superhero and she's doing that, but when you see like just like it's a regular fucking movie,

and she's not a superhero and she's throwing some guy upside down through a fucking play glass window, it's like, all right, the guy wasn't even running at you. You had no moment. I'm, I'm to believe. I mean, maybe a CrossFit, you know, maybe that's why those people that CrossFit run down the street with the fucking holding an office chair above their head. That has been the greatest thing about COVID watching the CrossFit horseshit go away. God, how annoying was that? Fucking sitting outside trying to eat something. These people remind you that you have to be working out and they have to show you that you it's like, dude, I work out too. All right, I do it in the gym with other people working out. I don't need you running by other people trying to enjoy their fucking breakfast. Got me over here questioning my toast. You can't, I should have got the salad instead of potatoes. Sorry. Anyway, so you wouldn't know it, but I'm actually in a good mood. I had a good day. My life's starting to slow down.

We're turning in the movie this week to Merrimax, which is sort of the final deal. And then we start adding music and we colorize it, you know, we make my Charlie Brown head a little more visibly enticing for a family valued audience, whatever the fuck it is, we're going to somehow make me look palatable. So today is like my only day off, you know, and I went, you know, I went to the playground with my kids, had a great time, and although my son had like a meltdown, I think he was a little overtired. Fucking kid goes hard, man. He just fucking goes hard. He like banged his head like three times. Like he banged it once, and then he fucking a little about a half hour later, he like hit it twice. And then he just started doing that cry where I know he needs a nap. And he just, he just becomes another person. You know, when you care, I don't know if you got a two year old, but or if you have had your kids rolled, but you remember when they start doing that thing, when they're just doing that cry, and they're just leaning back, and they're doing everything you can, everything they can to make you drop them on the pavement. So you got to hold them, you know, you know, you got to hold them like Tiki Barber did after he fucking was known for fumbling the way he would hold the football after that, you got to like hold your son like that as you bring him to the fucking car.

But we were having a great time. My son is so funny. He's like super friendly. And he calls kids his age babies. He just walks up to him, and he puts his face like right near their face, you know, they have like no boundaries. He's just like, Hi, baby. Then he goes flying down the slide. He's absolutely fearless. And my daughter's like this amazing, you know, my son did something the other day and I just started cracking up. He's just being funny. Just did something crazy. And my daughter, my daughter just looks at me, she goes, Hey, she goes, don't laugh at my little brother. I might have told you that story. I was so proud of her. I go, That's right, you stick up for you stick up for it. All right, dad needs a time out here. Yeah, so I had a good day with that, you know, went out got a little fucking my fun I knew espresso place where they don't burn the beans. Fucking sucked though I showed up all the tables. There was one table left like right in the sun. So I had to sit down, you know, there was this big four top table that this, this, you know, this couple took so I'm like, Well, you should have taken the two top. You know, you took the four because you went for the shade. And I was like, Should I go for the shade? So I said, Fuck it. I was like, You guys mind if I sit here? And they lied and they said no. And then they were bitching about something. I noticed that they were like, sort of whisper talking. Then I kind of felt bad that I made him talk that way. So I kind of sucked down the coffee and got the fuck out of there.

Anyway, let's get back to what I really want to talk about are my Red Sox ever going to win again? We have not won a game since we won back to back gains against the Yankees. Like weeks ago, there was the all star break. Thank God. But Jesus Christ. So now today, I believe we're like 47 and 47 and 48 and 48 were slipping back down beneath 500 and everybody's sitting there shitting on him. And it's like, dude, everybody's fucking hurt. Sale is out of all these out walk is out. Nick Paved has been in and out of the lineup. Devers is hurt. Kiki Hernandez is fucking out. You know what I mean? Oh, geez, I listen to all this shit from Yankee. My friends were Yankee fans.

The worst is a buddy of mine. He calls me. What's going on? I saw that score. He acted like he was concerned. I was teasing him about it. But it's like, what's going on is we have the Worcester Red Sox pitching against the blue. It was still bad. It was still bad. Why the fuck? I mean, there's just been a lot of looking up and you can't find the fly ball. And you do that hands out like I don't know where it is. You got some babyface kid. I don't even know half the Red Sox. I've been watching them all year. We have so many people out. I don't even know half their names.

This babyface kid that they move around in the fucking outfield. He had no idea where the ball was. So he's slowly walking in trying to find it. And the thing ends up landing like way out by the warning track. And that dude on Toronto has the white dreads. He's not a white guy with dreads. He's a he's a I don't know what he is Latino black. And he has like white dreads like like dreadlocks that are white in case you don't understand what I'm saying. He got it inside the park grand slam. But you know what's funny? Losing 28 to five still only counts as one loss.

So I was like, all right, well, maybe we'll win the next day. We didn't. I'm like, all right, maybe we'll win today as far as I know, we didn't. I ended up going out after the eighth inning. We were sort of chipping away. And I think it was like eight to three or eight to four. Let's see what the old Red Sox did here. See what the old Red Sox did. I was all petty tweeting during that eight to four lost again. So what do we know? What do we know? Isn't it amazing how you can't get your fucking cell phone to do anything?

And then anytime you accidentally fucking touch it, the fucking thing just goes like, I don't even know what it does. It's like, what did I even just do there? 48 and 48. Five game behind the fucking Blue Jays. We shall see. Yankees haven't been doing well lately though. We'll see. I think they peaked a little early, you know, just fucking with you. This is just, I'm just going to be this grumpy fucking baseball fan for the rest of the season. But I'm still going to watch.

Okay. Cause that's what being a fan is. Hey, I'm reading a great book right now. One of my favorite comedians and people and just one of the coolest people to hang out was just absolutely hilarious. Mary Lynn Rice Cub wrote a book famous and I mean, I just been tearing through this. But I mean, a lot of times, you know, people send you a book, you know, and I just knew she's like, she's funny and she's unique. I bet this is going to be fucking good. And I picked it up and like, I can't put the thing down. If she just has all of these hilarious stories about just being shut down emotionally and getting involved in relationships professionally and personally that just are not working for her. And it's just, I don't want to ruin the book, but it's absolutely like it's fucking hilarious.

It's a great book. If you get a chance, it just came out. I'm giving it a shout out here on the podcast. All right, Oprah Winfrey has a book club. So do I. I recommend Wilmington's Lie, the insurrection of 1892 and the rise of white supremacy and Mary Lynn Rice Cub famous. I'm all over the road here. That's how I like to read, you know, little horrifying history and a relatable, honest autobiography of stories. You got to read the Harrison Ford chapter two. That's a highlight. Another highlight. She moves into a house she can't afford with some psycho who's not paying rent.

Her being a waitress at Denny's working her way up from busing tables and actually making the ranch dressing to one of the great visuals, a giant tub. And she has, I just was picturing it like an ore from a rowboat. Like just, I don't know. Anyway, Old Freckles has been doing a lot of stand up and I got to tell you something now that I'm kind of getting my free time back. And I can kind of chill and actually use my brain for other shit. The new stuff has just been pouring out of me. And I've had more goddamn fun going down to the comedy store, you know, went down there last night, popped in and it was just all this new shit. And then it was like leading to the stuff that already have worked out, but I'm going into it a different way. It's going to be awesome. And I'm going to fucking murder this weekend in Montreal.

I know I am. I can't wait. And I'm doing, I'm doing sets all around LA, getting ready for this thing. Because I'm going to the home of the hated habs as a Bruins fans. But I got to, you got to respect that. All right. What do you got? 24 cups. Won the first seven on a pond in the early 1900s, but whatever, you know, we'll give them, I'll give them at least 17. Kidding. I'm very excited about that. And I also talked to my agent because, oh, you got an agent bill. Oh, are you in show business?

I usually say Booker so I can come off as being falsely humble. I talked to my booking agent and I have four more professional franchises that I need to see a home game of. And then I've seen them all. I've seen them all. I need the Ottawa Senators, the Carolina Hurricanes, and then the two newest franchises in the NHL. I got to see the Vegas Knights and I got to see the Seattle Kraken Seattle Kraken. My wife's always wanted to go to Seattle, not to a hockey game, but that could be my part of the vacation. So maybe I'll take her up there and I'll check out a game with her or something like that because I just did a gig just outside of Seattle.

Maybe I'll do one night at the mor. Who knows? Who knows? I mean, the possibilities are endless. Yeah, very excited about that. You know, I looked at my daughter's vacations when she has time off. I got the app now. I always had the app. I didn't know how to use it. So I've blocked all of that out. So I'm going to be home for her vacations.

I'm all set. I'm having fun now. That's what I'm doing. There's an F 100 thing in fucking Tennessee that I've always wanted to go to. I'm fucking doing that shit. And I'm going to continue to fight my urge to buy a house in the middle of fucking nowhere and sit on the back porch, stare into the tree line and slowly drink myself to death. I'm not going to do that, but like when I get overly tired and I work too much, like that's what plays in my head. And for summary, I'm just all by myself. It's not like I moved my whole family out there. I am just by myself drinking a bottle of bourbon until I die.

I don't know. It's just like, I'm one of those all in nothing. I got that. I got that because I got to learn how to like take, you know, sometimes I got to know how to fucking express it. I need to take time off sometimes. There we go. That's what I was talking about when I started this fucking podcast every once in a while. You know, if I was running a business just every once in a while, I do run a business and I don't do this, but you should do every once in a while. Just give somebody a fucking Monday off. Can you just get them off the goddamn wheel? You know, it won't be great. No TV, no computer, none of that shit.

You actually have time to look at yourself and figure out what the fuck is going on with you and why you're doing 80% of the shit that you're doing because at least 60% of it you don't want. There was a lot of numbers in there with no research behind it, but I think it was pretty accurate. So anyway, yeah, I'm going to do stand up like three nights this week. I'm knocking out this new shit. I have all of these fucking new ideas that are coming to me. And I can just feel it. The things just, you know, I'm going to ride this wave. I'm going to crush it Fenway. And once I get through Fenway, you know, then on the other side of that, the movie will be done. It all opens up just in time for football season and for me to gamble away my kid's future.

I mean, that's the game plan, right? And we shall see. We'll see what happens here over the next month. You know, they're talking about fucking rolling blackouts out here and all of this shit. I love how the rest of the country kind of looks at the Southwest here going, Jesus, those guys are fucked. Like what we're dealing with isn't eventually coming your way. At least we're going to get it over with. I just view it as, I remember back in the day when my mom was giving out the beatings, she would line up me and all of my siblings and I used to always be jealous of the first two going, fuck, at least it's over. They got it over quick. You just standing there like, God, maybe she'll be tired, but she wasn't. She had stamina.

My mom could eat up some innings. So we'll get it over soon. Get it over with soon. All right. And with that apocalyptic thing here, am I going to really just jump into the, to the reads as fast? I have no idea. I actually, I got another book that I'm going to read to. I'm slowly reading the rest of the history of this country, which is fascinating to me. Like I want to know, this is so weird. I want to know when the Democratic Party and the Republican Party switched and how they did that. Like how the Democratic Party was conservative. So all the conservatives were Democrat and all the liberals were Republican, which always cracks me up when they go through history. And you're like, like some moron who's a conservative.

Actually, that was the Democratic Party. You did that. It's like, yeah, but if you live back then, you would have been Democratic. You have been a Democrat. It's just, I don't know. There's so many people that are alive simply because of modern medicine. You know, that's an interesting thing. Anybody listening from a country, I don't know how to put this without getting in trouble. A country that's being oppressed by our country. How about that? Okay. Do morons survive? Do mouth breathing morons survive? Because I've always had this fantasy that, you know, if we weren't like fucking, if we didn't have the lifestyle that we'd have, there's like so many people, you know, let's start with whining ass liberals where everything hurts their fucking feelings.

Like how the fuck would they get through a winter if they lived in an impoverished country? You know, they would make, like, is there less whining? I don't want to pick out a country because somebody will snip this out and try to make me look like a fucking asshole. Like the douchebag conservatives who had taken my abortion bit, I fucking love it. Like they take the abortion bit and all they take is the part that agrees. I trashed both sides. They just take the part that agrees with them. And this woman wrote like, there's a lot of pro-choice people watching this part crying right now. And she had like the emoji like crying, laughing, which I just thought was such an odd response to that.

Like if you really are trying to protect babies from not getting killed that you would just, I don't know. Just, I don't know, it's just like, so this topic is funny to you? So it's just like, it's more about, you just wanted to win. You don't give a fuck about the babies. You just wanted to be right. I actually feel bad for a lot of right, right to life people that they think it's, they actually think it's a religious issue. It isn't. It's not. I mean, I know you can say thou shall not kill. You're religious for you, but that's not the reason why they're doing it. As far as what I, and this is what I've read is, and is what I believe, I believe it's a racial issue.

I believe that, you know, because most of more abortions than not are done by white people. They want to keep those white babies alive so that they can vote for a white candidate. That's what I've read and I'm like, you know what, that makes way more fucking sense to me. That makes way more sense to me considering the complete lack of respect we have for babies in other countries that are sitting on the goop that we want. It doesn't line up. Or maybe that's the deal, right? Isn't that the old joke? Once the baby's alive, then you can fucking put it in the electric chair or something like that.

Sorry, I'm doing 80 stand up now. Jesus Christ, but what happened? You know what happened was my air conditioner went off. I probably figured out that. You know what happened? I accidentally unplugged it. I was like, oh great, my air conditioner's out. Do you like how when I was talking earlier about weak people acting like they wouldn't survive? Like, like I would survive. You know, if I lived in an impoverished country, right? With my gingered skin.

You know, I would, I can laugh, first of all, I wouldn't live in this climate. Like, I would be one of the few homeless people that actually would choose Minneapolis. Like, that's a good, you know, I'd scroll my beard out. You know what I mean? I go in a hardware store, I would steal some like rope and have the rope belt. Like, I think one of the biggest things if you want to keep making, earning an income as a homeless person is you got to be able to fucking hold your pants up. Once people think they're going to see homeless junk, like they're not as giving, you know?

But if you can just kind of like, you know, two things, you got to have the rope belt and you need to wash your hands in a puddle of whatever liquid you can find before you start begging. Sorry. I dropped some shit off at a homeless encampment yesterday. I don't fuck with the ones downtown. The ones downtown, that's like Mad Max shit. Okay, unless I got Mel Gibson riding fucking shotgun with me, I'm not going down there. All right, so I stay to the ones where it's just a strip.

Okay, it's not like that. We have homeless encampments in downtown LA that are about a week away from being classified as a sovereign state. That's just existing by their own set of rules. And when you go in there, it's like, it's, you know, yeah, they are free to feed on you. Or maybe that's just all my fear. I have no fucking idea. So I just, you know, I always try to, you know, I don't bring my shit to goodwill anymore. Fuck those people. You know, they throw most of the shit in the ocean.

I should think that today, you know, is at the playground. And, you know, some fucking assholes just, there's literally a trash barrel right there and they just leave all their food shit on the ground. Drives me up the fucking wall. So I pick it up, right? Because I'm the martyr in this story, right? And I would love to hear other people's podcasts who were driving in front of me on the road in LA and hear how they describe me. How many times I lean on the horn as I fucking make myself ought to be the hero in this episode. Anyways, I fucking throw it out. And I was just thinking that whole stupid thing.

Yeah, put litter in its place. Like, it's still going to get thrown out. It's just going to get into the woods or into the ocean just by a professional, you know, they have uniforms and put litter in its place. Where the animals live. There we go. All right. With that, let's read. All right.

Simply safe, everybody. Do a little advertising read here. Today's episode of the Monday Morning Podcast. Today's episode of the Monday Morning Podcast is brought to you by Simply Safe Home Security. I believe home should, home, I believe home should be the safest place on earth for every family. Doesn't that just sound like something a candidate you wouldn't vote for would say? I believe home should be the safest place on earth for every family. Wow, really going out on a limb, aren't ya?

I believe that ice cream tastes delicious. That's why I use and recommend Simply Safe. Okay, let me, let me, let me put this more in my words. What do I believe? I believe that on a fly ball to right, the guy on second shouldn't go fucking halfway to third because the cunt's not going to drop it. All right, but you know, you're taking away your whole chance to fucking tag up. I never understood that. And infield in, infield in.

Yeah, why don't you stand right in front of the fucking bat because there's a guy on third. Give yourself like 0.2 seconds to see what's coming at ya. You know, and that's why I use and recommend Simply Safe. Not because of that other shit. Simply Safe is advanced home security that puts you, your home and your family's safeties first. Here's why I love it. Simply Safe offers comprehensive protection, not only against intruders and burglary, but against its expensive homes and hazards from flooding to fires. You know, I believe that when you go out to get a milkshake, an Oreo shake, because you're progressive and you believe that whites and blacks should live together, right?

And when you suck it down and you get that ice cream headache, I believe that a fat guy that was sitting next to a furnace should run out and put his hands on your forehead. And that is why that there is now we got. That's why I recommend Simply Safe. Also because Simply Safe offers comprehensive protection, not only against intruders and burglary, but again, I already said this shit with 24 seven professional monitoring. Simply Safe agents take action. The moment a threat is detected, dispatching police or first responders. Aren't police first responders in an emergency? Even if you're not home.

Actually, the person who calls the cops is the first responder responding to their own emergency. And that is why that is why I recommend Simply Safe. Simply Safe uses proprietary video verification technology so that monitoring agents can visually confirm that a threat. What is that? Is that a lacrosse stick? Can you turn on the video? It's a fucking axe. We have confirmation.

The threat in order to get higher priority 911 dispatch, they can see exactly what's going on. You know, Jesus Christ. Is that person carrying a golf bag on their back with a bunch of shotguns? Oh, it's balloons. Shut down. It's balloons. It's balloons. It's a surprise party.

Sorry. Stand down. Monitoring plans are affordable, affordably priced at a dollar a day with no long term contract or hidden fees because feeling safe at home shouldn't break the bank. You can customize the perfect system for your home in just a few minutes at simplysafe.com slash burr. S-I-M-P-L-I-S-A-F-E.com slash burr. Go today and claim a free indoor security camera plus 20% off with interactive monitoring. Go to simplysafe.com slash burr. Year over year.

I think it should be year after year. Year over year sounds like some, one of those math formulas you had to remember. Last week someone used the phrase, oh no, this is something else. I'm sorry. This is, this is, that's not even part of their copy. This is something that somebody else wrote in. I just didn't copy and paste correctly because I'm an old fuck. 54 on a computer.

It ain't gonna, it's not gonna, it's not gonna be pretty. It will not be pretty. You know, one of the questions, you know, a lot of questions get asked on the internet. One of the ones that I thought was the best was when the fucking chick that was sort of the, the matrede of Epstein Island went to jail. Ah, table of 14 for three. She goes to jail for 20 years and somebody finally goes, well, what about everybody on that fucking, you know, list?

Are you gonna investigate them? I mean, some people went to that island like 20 fucking times. Like, what are we doing here? Well, which goes back to the fact that you think maybe the guy, you know, didn't kill himself, maybe he got whacked. Man, but that's just the level of power that you can't fuck with. Like, if you have the power to go to an island 20 times to fuck children. I mean, I mean, that's, I don't even know what, what part of the universe you're in.

You know, I went to go to coffee today and I had like the first front third of my truck was in the red zone. I'm like, I'm going to get a ticket, but I don't want to park it out of the tree because I just got it washed. Okay, that's the level I'm at. Like, that's, that's my version of going to Epstein Island and getting away with it. Pedophilia Bill, you're really trying to fucking ring a joke out of that, aren't you? Okay, year over year. Last week, someone used the phrase year over year and you said they must mean year after year.

The phrasing was correct. It is a common way of putting it in financial terms or when counting or measuring. So I was right. As far as it seemed like a math problem, a formula that I wouldn't know. Thanks and go fuck yourself. All right. Well, thank you for writing in and correcting us. So year over, now I got to look it up.

Oh, this is good. This is good. I'm going to be on the fucking smart part of the internet. The egghead part, dare I say, year over year meaning. Comparing or based on comparing the same time period in successive years, year over year growth, year over year increases slash declines. The insurer said it paid out 16% last for catastrophe and storm claims on a year over year basis in the fourth quarter. Well, I didn't need that example. We all know that insurance companies are not in the business of paying people.

They are in the business of collecting fees and bezeling money and having lavish parties on islands owned by some fucking jerk off. I'm sorry. All right. Plastic. Hey, Bill, you were talking about plastic waste last week. Yes, I know. I was in way over my head. Did you know?

No, I didn't. I didn't know anything about it. That's another thing that I wanted to read up on. I wanted to read up on plastic. I wanted to read up on, yeah, when the Republican and Democratic Party switched. Like how the, like their ideologies from conservative to liberal and vice versa. Like how the fuck that happened? I was hanging out with a friend of mine.

He was like really into Teddy Roosevelt. I'm sorry about him that he got shot in the fucking chest while giving a speech and the guy finished the fucking speech. Mike, you know, that's quite a character to read up on. All right. Plastic. All right. You were talking about plastic waste last week. Did you know 90% of all plastic can't be recycled?

No. Why is that? But 100% of the collected recycled plastic is profitable. It's an $80 billion a year industry and they have a worse batting average than the socks did against the Chays last week. Wow. Man, there's just so many things that we, there's just so many things on the list. Like, yeah, we got to do something about that. The companies that produce plastic make a combined $900 billion a year.

To reiterate last week's listener, they will never talk about this because it's too much money. Yeah. And they just pay off the politicians. Fuck. In politicians, they don't make any money. Like influencers on Instagram make more money a year than the president of the United States. They're just, they're set up to be bribed regardless of what color tie they have on. To reiterate last week's listener, they will never talk about this because it's too much money and most of the renewable energy technology have a lifespan of less than five years.

I.E. solar and require more oil to produce than they would have burned. Red Rocks was awesome. Love to you and the family. Bag East. All right. So then the solution is we need to have a lot less people quickly. Jesus Christ. Where's Joseph Stalin when you need him?

Man, I got to tell you, you know. That's going to be a reality. At some point. At some point. They're going to have to just do that. You know, people, these problems are way bigger than me and way bigger than my podcast. All right. I'm just going to fucking.

I'm just going to come again. I'm going to just, I don't know what tap out of this. So you're actually telling me some 90% of the shit isn't recyclable. So what I'm actually doing is contributing to the pollution that's going to last for anywhere from 800 to 1000 years is how long it takes for plastic to break down. I'm going to make the world the worst place while simultaneously helping to finance some fucking eyes wide shut party for some fuckhead that owns that company who's going to give himself a, you know, a $500 million bonus one day. Yeah. You know what? This is why, you know, I kind of just tapped out all that federal reserve shit because it's just so overwhelming, so depressing.

And then when you try to talk it to reg to regular people about it, they always turn it into a political or religious issue and they just start screaming and yelling about the standing president or the last president. You know, if you're a liberal right now, you're still blaming Trump. If you're fucking a fucking red type person, you think everything's Biden's fault. And it's just, it's just, yeah, that's why once again, I'm in a house in middle of nowhere, sitting on a porch by myself staring into the woods, doing my part for the earth, killing myself. All right, baby shark bites man's finger off. I saw this video. I saw this video and the level of empathy that I have for this guy. Because we've all in our own way lived this guy's story where you just want to rewind the previous minute of your life, but you've done irreparable damage.

This fucking guy, right? He said, Hey, Billy Bear, you're always talking about how you don't like the ocean because sharks are out there. I found this video on Instagram of a dude losing his pinky finger to a baby tiger shark. Check out the barrel roll and the shark did to yank the thing off. For whatever reason, this guy is trying to pick this fucking thing up. It did like one of those jujitsu rolls, you know, where they skip the hip. It's like this. It's no good like this.

Ah, it's good. That's all I remember from my jujitsu classes I took in the late 90s. I remember I was just getting the shit kicked out of me and I was like, I'm trying to book a pilot out here. What the fuck? What am I? Am I trying to join the Delta Force? What am I doing? So I stopped taking it and I never booked a pilot.

He lost on both fronts, everybody. Yeah, so it did like this jujitsu roll and just fucking grab the guy's pinky finger, spun around, and the guy, he handed it like a champ. He goes, Ah, shit. I just lost my goddamn pinky. Unfucking believable. Just like that. Lost a fucking digit.

Now I got to say, if you're going to lose any of them, that's a good one. All right, unless you're trying to throw a change up. Then I think you're fucked. No, it's got to be one of the pitches, you know. I always thought if you had like your hand, all your fingers on the ball, the other ones weren't curled down. It's not as effective, but you can move your arm really fast. Isn't that what a change up is? Like the arm motion is the same, the same speed.

Bill, how much more shit that you don't really know about it you're going to talk about? I don't know. Yeah, that's like, that's just one of those moments, you know. Like it's one of those moments why I never fully enjoyed shop class. Like I loved, you know, metal class and I loved the woodworking class and all of that. But there was just something about the bandsaw, you know what I mean? And the fucking shop guy would always tell you stories about people who got their fingers cut off and how I picked it up in the sawdust when it got spit out the other side.

They reattached it and he has massive nerve dam and all of this fucking shit. Yeah, I try to stay away from that. Try to stay away from power tools and sharks, the ocean in general. You ever think that the ocean is the solution to us? It's just going to kind of rise up and just wash it all away. And then the next fish will actually be like immune to plastic. Be something that they kind of thrive on. Be like they're a little oceanic latte.

Hey, I used to think that a long time ago that the ocean water was the toxic waste left over from the last people that fucked the planet up. And they were just washed away and there's no evidence of them and millions of years goes by and it all just fucking disappears. And then we come out of the toxic waste. They'll be like plastic people next. Hey, do you think when the robots come that they'll solve all these problems? Or do you think that they'll be racist against like fucking older models?

You know, that's like the status thing that you're a newer robot. Therefore, you're better than the other robots because we're going to... That's the worst thing because they're trying to create them to have like human feelings. And this just all comes down to so many guys don't know how to get pussy. I swear to God, that's all it is. And it'd be like, wouldn't it be great if I could just program a woman to fuck me? But I don't want it to be all fucking robotic. I don't want it to act like a real woman.

It acts exactly like a real woman except it says yes when I ask it if I can fuck it, right? And then it's going to have jealousy, envy, insecurity, racial issues and all of that shit. And that'll be funny, right? When the robots kill us off and then say, we are superior. And then they slowly kill themselves off. How would they slowly kill themselves off? Depends on what they need. Energy.

Just like we do, right? They're in the same fucking boat. They just eat different shit. You know, out of all the podcasts I've done where I've just been talking about shit, I have no idea what I'm talking about. This one is right up there. We got robotics, world history, home security. All right, new gold standard.

Hey, Billy Ginger, privileged. Burr. My name is Ryan and I'm from Saskatchewan, Canada. I love it up there, man. I had a good time in Saskatoon and Regina. One of the great North's flyover provinces. Last Monday you were explaining how the world has... I was not...

I'm never explaining, okay? I am just riffing and I don't know what I'm talking about. How the world has moved away from the gold standard to a completely baseless Ponzi scheme economy. Well, I am one of the many people who believe that in the not-too-distant future, water is going to become the new gold. Yeah, I know. That's why fucking George Debia, after he helped fucking create a never-ending war that bankrupted our country, is out there now.

What's he doing next for the people? He's buying up land in South America that fucking sits on an aquifer. That's what I heard. Do I sound like one of those conspiracy theory fucking podcasts this week? I have no information on that whatsoever other than the fact that somebody told me that's what he's doing. I've never even looked it up. All right, which despite our best efforts is going to bring Canada front and center in the mind's eye of the world. I believe that we're sitting on approximately 20% of the world's fresh water and we aren't even tapping into most of it yet.

Yeah, so you guys are going to be wide open to get invaded. So you better get off your fucking horsies with your red jackets. All right, come up with something here. I really hope I live to see the day. Your special forces is going to come from Thunder Bay, is what I'm guessing. I really hope I live to see the day when our news media is able to try to scare us by blasting images of a caravan, of dry mouth, mega hat, wearing hillbillies, coming from for the border, fear mongering, talking heads, screaming at the television.

You know, they're just going to waste it making sweet tea and Kool-Aid. Can't wait. But anyway, hope to catch you live someday. Really enjoy what you do and as always, go fuck yourself. Yeah, I think that type of shit. We got to get away from that. We got to stop making fun of people that are into Trump and, you know, and whatever the fuck they're saying about people that are into Biden. It's really just ripping us all apart.

It's unfortunate. What are you going to do? It is what it is and I take great comfort knowing that I can only die once. All right, there we go. Underrated, reruns. I watch the same shows over and over again. When people suggest a new show, it sucks one out of ten times. One out of ten?

Don't you mean nine out of ten? One out of ten times. I'd rather enjoy Seinfeld or Cheers than try and get into an eight-part mini-series about some dipshit who started a company. They take liberties and you're better off watching a documentary anyway. Anyways, he actually wrote the sentence. They take liberties and you're better of watching a documentary anyways, how I say it. The people who flip out about the flavor of the week shows are like seagulls at the beach just eating whatever is in front of them. Don't call me old and disgruntled.

I'm 34. What shows do you rewatch? That's a great question. I also, I've tapped out of most new shows. Although my wife watched one the other night that looked cool about this chef who has a reoccurring nightmare about a bear. And I was just, you know, just the way it's shot and just going, oh my god, how much fucking time did that take? And the acting is incredible. Not to mention the lead sort of looks like an amalgam of Sean Penn and Sylvester Stallone, two of my favorite movie stars of all time.

So I'm all in. What shows do I rewatch? I actually go back and I rewatch shit that I never, that I missed when I was younger because it was before my, you know, it came on after my bedtime. So I've watched everything from The Untouchables, Peter Gunn, 77 Sunset Strip. I watched a bunch of Adam 12's and Emergencies. I watched those when I was a kid, but most time I was told I had to go to bed. What I really wish would come back, if you could find it, was the $6 million man. I've said for years, one of the great episodes up into that moment in time was when the $6 million man fought the $7 million man,

which really fits into what I was talking about in the future where robots are going to be racist. I cost more money, I'm better than you, right? And I just remember he fucking, he punched the guy's face off. And it was funny too, when the face came off, it was, it just looked, because like his face moved, it was obviously a real actor. So it was all like, you know, you can just grab somebody's face and, oh, you know, grab that cheek, little good Joe, right? When the fucking thing landed, it was clearly just like plastic. And then behind him was like, you know, just like the eyeballs and all these wires and shit. And it was making all this, it was crazy shit.

And I was, I mean, it was like, that was graphic for what the fuck you saw. There was no internet. And then the $7 million man came running at him. And the genius of it was, because they were supposed to be super fast, that they filmed it in slow motion. So you bought everything. And Lee Mages picked up like a fucking steel girder or a pipe that just happened to be laying there. And it's a $7 million man came at him. He just fucking impaled him on it.

There's the one where he fought Bigfoot, played by the late great Andre the Giant. I mean, just all shit like that is stuff that I would go back and rewatch. But then there's the other one. I'm really partial to all of those shows that are like cops and gum shoes, private investigators. There was a million of them. Like, you know, Telly Savales, Robert Yurick. I liked all of those, you know, all of those shows. Procedural shows were great back then too.

It went so fucking serious, you know. It's just like a bunch of guys just sitting around giving each other shit and they'd go out and they'd fucking kill people every episode. Like, I remember from Zimbalist Junior, the amount of time, or Peter Gunn, Peter Gunn in particular, the amount of times that he walked into a room and someone was behind the door and smacked him on the head and knocked him out. The guy was just out fucking cold every single fucking episode. You know, I mean, it just, it should have, you know, he probably was one of the first. I already talked about this shit. You know, those are the shows that I watch. I would like to watch when I get a little more free time, once I get on the other side of this movie.

I would like to watch some Kojaks and then just, I like the ones from the 60s because I like the early 70s because I like the cars. And I just loved like, what a big deal the hero of the show, like the car that they drove was so fucking important. And they had to have like a badass car. Even if they had like a four door sedan, like Steve McGarrett, played by the great late great Jack Lord on Hawaii 5.0. I forget what he had. I'm bad with the Chrysler stuff. He had some sort of Chrysler. It was a four door and like the first year of it too, because they kept updating it.

But you know, remember Evelyn Zimbalist Jr. I think he kept driving Thunderbirds throughout 77 Sunset Strip. And it was like a big fucking deal. You know, like I love the fall guy, Lee Majors again, when he had that Chevy Silverado, that black and gold one was the shit. All right, Jack Lord car Hawaii 5.0. Let's see what, what did he drive? He drove a Mercury. Oh, my fault.

It was a Lincoln Ford Mercury. A Mercury Marquis. Brom. He had a 74. Let's see here. That was such a sweet fucking car. Oh, do they have the actual one? How the fuck do you prove that that's the actual one?

It blows my mind how that shit works. Yeah, I was like more into that type of shit, but I'd say if I had to go back and just watch shit from my childhood, I would watch welcome back Carter. I would watch WKRP in Cincinnati. Um, Barney Miller, fish, the spin off, the Jeffersons, all in the family, Sanford and son. I mean, Sanford and son is just to this day. Just the writing on that was just fucking unbelievable. Oh my God, my eyes are going. I just saw a thing.

I thought it said Led Zeppelin attacked at New York event and actually said representative Lee's, Lee Zeldin. I thought Lee Zeldin said Led Zeppelin. That's not too far off, is it? Opinion is Joe Biden's sinking. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I would say, you know, I wouldn't anybody who's going to be president right now is going to fucking sink. You stick $20 trillion into the fucking economy. Um, no, it's not.

It's because he's got a blue tie. Oh, no, it isn't. Trump was in there. Be even worse. Oh, Jesus Christ. Um, all right. Anyway, with that, that is the podcast for this week. I'm still watching the Red Sox.

I'm still going to hang in there. I love the dog days of summer. And, um, I want to thank everybody in Montreal that's going to come out to my show. You're going to get a fracking fucking great show. I can tell you that right now. There's certain times, you know, sometimes I wonder other times I know this time. I know it's going to be, uh, oh, it's going to be a great time. And, uh, I don't know.

I'll get to, you know, try out my French when I'm up there in French Canada, even though that they have, they have more a different accent up there. I'll see how it works. So that's it. Everybody go fuck yourselves. And I will check in on you on Thursday. Alrighty. Thank you very much. Bye.

Bye.