Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 7-31-23
Episode Date: July 31, 2023Bill rambles about summer, recalls, and palm trees. Policy Genius:  Head to www.policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you coul...d save. Zip Recruiter:  Try ZipRecruiter for free at www.ZipRecruiter.com/BURR AG1: Take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D, and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at www.drinkAG1.com/BURRÂ
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Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday
July 31st
2020 tree
Jesus Christ. Where's the summer going? I
Feel like every other year. I'll say to myself and me now. All right
Summer's coming. Make sure you take it in. And then every
other year, I don't. And then all of a sudden, it's almost fucking August. Then I even had
a bottle and James yet, dude. I've been enjoying a little time off with the family back-eached.
The big thing when you go back-ease is,
I can't eat all this fucking Italian food, you know,
all the stuff that I miss.
All the fucking pizza and the bread
and all the shit that they can't make out now.
It's got, it's the air.
It's the water.
You know what, there's some guys from Brooklyn, they just moved out here, they flew the water. You know what, there's some guys from Brooklyn,
they just moved out here, they flew the water
from Brooklyn out, it still stinks.
Still stinks, I don't know what it is.
They can make really good pizza.
They can't make great pizza out there,
they can make really good pasta, what it is,
just I don't know what it is.
It's just not the same.
I remember doing a gig a long time ago, the Count Basie theory theater out in Red Bank, New Jersey. I
was, I forget where I was going next, I just randomly stopped in some little strip mall
and they had a little store there that they were making pasta by hand and all.
Some of the best shit I've ever had in my life.
Just random.
Didn't have to know anybody.
Just saw the Italian flag stopped
and it was fucking unbelievable.
So,
we're back here for a few days.
The family and all of that have been getting caught up on my
Boston Red Sox, dude. How about Tristan Cassis? Is that all you say is hitting the cover
off the ball? He's been crushing it. Justin Turner's been killing it. Got that Durango ran guy flying around on the basis. I mean, I know we lost the last two games in overtime,
too, in extra innings, but they're still,
they're a fun team to watch.
And I'm just like that guy at first basis, panning out.
We always have some fucking like nine foot guy
playing for the red socks.
You know, halfway decent in the field,
but can't hit a curve ball or an off-speed pitch
but everybody's always like,
I tell you if he ever gets a holder one.
I know, dude, but the fucking guy, the body on the guy,
if he ever gets a fucking holder one, dude,
he's gonna fucking, it never happens.
Well, now it's happening.
So I've been enjoying that.
We're playing Seattle.
The Seattle Mariners and the fucking Kingdom,
Keirina, they knocked them all down.
What's the name?
What are they?
Edison Field.
Should be Tesla Field.
Shouldn't it?
In Edison's steel, everything from Tesla, the actual Tesla,
not the laminated face nerd that wants to have a cage match
with that calculus major.
Is that going to, I heard the Facebook guy actually does mix martial arts
which means he could fucking throw me around the room. I wonder what the other guy
did. I don't know what happened. You know, it's really fucking nuts what people
do when it comes to money. You know, unless they're in business together
and they were gonna do some Jake Paul shit.
That's, I said that before, that should be the winner of the WinnerFights Jake Paul for
the title in the Jake Paul boxing association, the JP IBF.
Yeah, it's really just been seeing how crazy hot it's been this year and all that
type of stuff.
And then you just, I'm watching like the media and they go, what did they call like cities
that are like ungodly hot now?
They calling them something cities, charge cities, hot cities, whatever, but they're not
going to talk about how the fuck
we ended up here because they're not gonna
fuck with their money.
And it's just like at some point, you're gonna be like,
guys, what are you protecting here?
There's gonna be nothing left.
The direction we're going, I wanna get all
fucking doomsday here, but Jesus Christ,
they just fucking talk around the whole thing.
They don't say that since 1959, 1950 fucking nine scientists
are going, hey man, the way we're living,
it's gonna do this to the planet.
They're like, I'll be dead by then.
Give me another fucking lobster roll and a couple of horrors
to fucking lick my balls while I eat it.
I always wondered about people like that.
That are like just totally into their own pleasure, regardless of how many people that they hurt.
Right?
Which I guess we both can kill to that.
You know, fucking.
Going into the fridge late at night, eating the last slice is something.
It happened in the last few cookies.
Got the crumbs on the side of your face and your wife's like, did you eat that peanut butter
cookie?
And you're like, whoa.
And you got a faint, like you're not selfish.
Oh, did- did you want that?
That's when you just get the side glance and they walk out of the fucking room.
So anyway, I'm on vacation here with the family and you know, I don't have access to a gym. So I've been doing so well over the last month, but
I do have access down the road. They rent some bicycles or whatever. So I'm gonna write a bike like a fucking European guy
Which is good because I'm trying to get into Euro's shape
All right from for my fellow Americans listening to this podcast
I try to get myself in really
good shape before I go to Europe, just to shut those fucking concepts, you know, because
they're always talking about how out of shape Americans are and everything, right?
And then you go over there, you know, and they think somehow they eat fish and chips out
of a fucking old newspaper every day and they're going to have a body of an adonis. But they are in, they are in better shape.
They just have better food than we do. So if you're a peon, come on over here. I'm sure
the dollar is nice and weak, right? Come over here. You fucking eat some of our food.
You bulk up. And you go back to the pub and you face your high
school bully, you fucking lean on them with all those trans fats you're carrying around,
you fucking your chesticles and your fucking mantids there, whatever, chesticles.
That's what I call them.
And you fucking love handles.
The fuck was I just gonna talk about? Something in that reminding me of something
I was like, you know what, I should talk about that.
That is what I should talk about.
You know, it just, it left me.
But anyway, I'm gonna make sure I just keep eating the salads with the protein and all
of that stuff.
What the fuck is this?
Stop texting me.
How dare you text me when I'm in the middle of my podcast?
Yeah, so I got that kid coming up, I got Halifax coming up, I got Springfield, Massachusetts
coming up.
So my big thing is that I'm just is that I landed and I had a salad.
It's a little bit of chicken in it, fat of cheese.
You know, but I didn't work out yesterday, so.
It's fucking, you know, every time,
every time I start to get in shape,
I'll bet what are you gonna do now?
How you gonna fucking wh wine about your life.
Boohoo you're so busy when your whole business is on fucking strike.
I do love how fucking heartless some people are you know.
I was seeing that there was a guy that writes for that show The Bear which is a massive,
massive hit and the writing is incredible on it.
He writes on the show he has a gig writing for a hit TV show and he's
living below the poverty line, right? So most people were empathetic. Somebody writes,
get another job. Blaming him, right? He's working 17 hour, fucking days, 14 hour days,
or whatever, and the writers room in and get another fucking job. And then somebody goes,
why don't you have the actors pay them?
Cause they look at actors going,
thinking they're all making a zillion dollars.
You know?
And they like know their names.
That's the genius of being the money behind the money
as nobody knows your fucking name.
Telling the actor should pay the fucking writer
is like, you know, they're underpaying the guy,
you know, unloading trucks at Home Depot
and then the manager of Home Depot should pay the guy.
Not the people that own Home Depot
and own the fucking building.
Hey, you're underpaying that quarterback,
quarterback, the quarterback should pay him.
Well, what about the fucking owner
uh... quarterbacks making too much money what is the owner make i have no idea i
don't even know what is fucking aim is exactly
uh...
and all the guy was asking for was just a fucking middle-class
living
uh... that is kind of the genius to this whole fucking rat race. Is it
causes you to turn on the wrong person I feel. So I'm for the workers here. I'm not
for these fucking, I mean, you know, only time you ever know like a CEO's name is
when he takes it to such a ridiculous level.
Such like a spinal tap, ridiculous level of greed that he fucking ends up on that show
up.
American greed.
I mean, that guy, he had a $13,000 umbrella stand.
Then what's funny is when they're stealing from the company, they end up failing guilty,
you know, in the back of their head.
So then they start throwing these lavish parties and they invite their co-workers and
somehow appease as their guilt.
Yeah, I stole the money, but I, you know, I threw a party and I invited my co-workers.
So I'm kind of like Robin Hood, right?
And then eventually the fed show up.
And then they go to jail.
And I always pick their picture, their jail, is like a tennis club, you know, that just has like modest
sort of quarters or something I
Wonder what the number one like fucking weapon is in a white collar prison like it was like a letter opener
A sharpened money clip
He smuggled it in and his fucking ass, this fanny pack.
He should probably allow to have one.
I know you guys, if you guys want to submit
some fucking jokes for that.
All right, Mrs. makes me miss the David Letterman show.
Tonight here in my hand, I have the top 10 list,
the top 10 weapons in a white-collar prison words.
All right plowing ahead here.
That reminded me of, I don't know what the hell I was watching, but that whole fucking,
you know, speaking of traveling and all of that shit, you remember that was another show,
fucking arrested abroad, which I swear to God you got halfway through one
episode is you're like I don't even go on a road island I am not leaving you know when you leave
your tribe like you're an American you live in America then all of a sudden you go somewhere else
and you do some dumb shit right and you get your dumb ass caught doing the dumb shit.
And then what do you do?
You fucking try to reach out to your local senator.
Like, hey man, you know, I'm on your team
and they're like keeping me over here, man.
Like, that's not cool, right?
And then you realize, you know, your value
when all of a sudden you realize you've been left unprotected
in your own country is fine with you testing the free agent market in different
prisons around the globe that's when you dislike oh no
i was believing all that shit they said every four years when i actually pay
attention to politics when they fucking uh four years when I actually pay attention to politics. When they fucking
uh... when they gas up Joe's six pack. Yeah, he puts his pants on one leg at a time. Day
gets cancer from the local fucking area where they were tested. Atomic weapons back
in the 50s and 60s and now we're not gonna help him out But once a year we give him a shout out
Give him a shout out and we talk about how he puts his pants on and then after that when you know
We can't get a fucking job or he's you know lost the limb
Fighting for this country
You know
Then we don't know but once every four years
Maybe the beginning of a football game, you know will then we don't know. But once every four years, maybe the beginning of a football game, you know, will parade
them out.
There he is, Joe six pack.
He only hit his wife once.
That was the surprise ending there, right?
I was sitting there going, he got to remember these guys.
That was just my way of saying, aren't we all just a little bit flawed
somebody gave oh what's his face uh...
brian holstmann gave me this book he's going to be on my podcast uh... he gave me
this book
what the fuck killers killers of the, the, the something moon?
Killers of the leaf moon or something like that.
It's just another one of these fucking stories that they, you know, they just don't tell you about
when you're coming up in grade school.
It's always like, okay, a bunch of white people came over here with buckles on their shoes
because they were getting away from religious persecution, which now is kind of fucking hilarious to me.
You know, you like fucking gonna persecute me because I'm going to church.
It's like, I, I, I, all right, I won't go.
I don't have a problem with that.
I mean, twist my fucking arm.
Hey, you know what? I'd go to church, but there's too much persecution out there.
Oh my God, that's not what religious persecution is.
You know, religious persecution is making somebody go to church every Sunday.
Remember that? Your parents are making you get up.
You just have that fucking feeling in your stomach. You put on that itchy sweater.
You go down there and there'd be that fucking old guy up there and he would just be going.
Like, it would always go really fast up to.
And this is the word of the Lord and people that day are going to be the God.
And then the guy breaking to his homily, you know, I live alone in the
rectory drink a lot of wine that hasn't been blessed every once in a
while. I volunteer for some sort of activity with little boys, but
we're not going to talk about that, and he would just go on, and on, and on,
and on, and you would just be sitting there, wrap it up.
Just fucking wrap it up.
Fabulous Thunderbirds, wrap it up, I'll take it, right?
Hey, finally!
This old unmarried fucking poor bastard
With no fly on his pants
You know like you couldn't shimmy him down if he got a hooker, right? I'd love to have
Illegal sex with you, but I just can't get these damn things off
Oh, well, you see what they do is they sow them onto you.
What was your name, Porsche?
Oh, Impala, sorry, Impala.
What they do is they fucking,
they sow them around your hips
and then you just keep eating the body of gray.
And each week you get a little fatter.
And then that's it.
It's like a chastity belt for a guy.
Those black pre-slacks, Rayon, you know.
It's funny, the same pants that pre-swear is the same one that all real estate agents
wore when I was growing up.
So, it was the Nancy Reagan power suit.
I thought that was fitting because, you know, both groups of people were fucking you,
right?
Oh, Jesus, Bill.
Was I talking about this on stage or was I talking on my podcast?
Or I said because the,
I was talking about how because porn is free now
and these abused women can't make any money.
Like, I feel like they're now all getting into real estate.
Like judging like what real estate agents look like now.
I mean, they look like horse at a Ron Burgundy party,
you know, when they would like, you know,
back in the day when your hairy chested friend
was come with a town, you know. back in the day, when your hairy chested friend was coming to town.
You know, your job was to rally up a couple of hores
and make sure he had a good time.
Make sure he has a good time when he's out here, huh?
Hunt doll face.
Okay, daddy.
All right, and then he fucking go out and they ride the guy,
clinging to his chest hair.
What ever happened at chest hair?
Is that going to come back?
If the mullet is back, you got to think chest hair.
At some point is going to come back.
What about that little toothbrush thing that they had for guys?
You could like manicure your whole body.
So let's say, how fucking long does that take
for the average Greek man or Italian guy
to fucking get ready for work
if you're gonna give him,
he needs like a dustbuster level one, right?
Now you get someone like me, you know,
I got the orangutan hair,
so I mean it doesn't even show up.
You could give me, I could use one of those things.
I'm in the land of Martha Stewart right now.
She's a Connecticut person, right?
I'm staying out here with Connecticut.
I like Connecticut, right?
It's got everything you could possibly want here.
From, you know, gang activity to elite white people in the clan. I mean, you just sort of have, you could do like,
20 seasons of behind the scenes in prisons,
and a merit to American greed.
Can I get some very interesting state?
And I think that that's why they don't have any time you're in a state that
doesn't have any professional sports teams.
I always feel like they're up to something.
You know, like this is where the super rich go to hang out and stuff like that,
you know, super rich, go to hang out and stuff like that.
I don't, I don't, the prairies out there.
Chard cities, people on fire.
If you catch on fire because of this heat wave,
what to do if you catch on fire?
We're not gonna discuss how we ended up here.
What to do if you catch on fire? We're not gonna discuss how we ended up here.
What to do when the water that you wanted to use
to brush your teeth starts boiling
before it gets to your mouth?
Here's the five things that you can do
to not scald your gums.
Today we have anti-scalding your gum expert.
Tammy, fuck, and what's her cunt, right?
And she's gonna sit here with her priest, whore real estate slacks on, and she's gonna
let us know how in 2027 you go about brushing
your teeth.
You know, there's a lot of people are starting to say that the incredible raise, rise in
halitosis is actually not caused by boiling water that you can't, well, the water that you
can't get to your mouth before it starts boiling.
It's actually the cause of global warming.
It's the bad breath.
That is the new, and of course,
liberals are calling this misinformation.
Conservatives are calling this socialism.
But I'm still making foreign agranda week to read this bullshit to you.
And I have enough money to have my own fire department that will
spray foam on top of my house when it ignites in onto me as I roll around in the yard.
What am I talking about? I don't know. I have no idea. I'm fucking getting used to the
time change out here. My son got up and fucking still, six in the morning.
Six in the morning doesn't matter what time zone we're in,
so which is like three o'clock our time.
Stated there like a zombie,
but you fucking oatmeal.
Yeah, if a guy doesn't like milk and a zelp meal.
He's like, Dad, I don't know what, no, no, well, no,
no want milk.
No want milk and I'm like, why don't I have to tell you, buddy? I can't take the. I don't want milk, and I'm like, well, I don't want to tell you, buddy.
I can't take the milk out of it.
And he's like, okay, bye bye, Dad.
And he just fucking walks away.
He's a very confident little kid.
Very confident little kid.
Anyway, so I'm gonna try to enjoy myself out here
for a couple, two, three days, a little four day, thinking about Jake here, and then I'm back to the grind.
I'm gonna be back on the road again,
and like I said, I'm gonna somehow wake up here.
I'm gonna ride a bicycle every day,
I'm gonna eat salads, The green shirt diet continues.
I had a fun week flying, man.
I flew up to San E. Nez again.
I've been racking up the hours and then I flew a buddy of mine
up to Santa Barbara.
We hung out across from the,
whatever the fuck the name of that theater is up there.
Did I, I haven't played in years.
Oh God, not the Algonquin, the Alexander.
It begins with an A, the Alameda.
Hang on a second, let me look this fucking theater up.
Santa.
Barbara theater, there's two of them.
There's the Gleason.
There, the Arlington.
Well, there's also an Ampe Theater up there
with like Joni Mitchell, Theater Live Albums.
Yeah, the Arlington Theater.
I knew when, both times when I ate there,
they said there's a great Mexican restaurant.
Next door, both times they ordered these tacos
and they were delicious.
So we went up there and we just had the Uber driver.
You know, I googled Bill Burr, Santa Barbara,
and I found the theater, so I just haven't
dropped us into the vicinity, and I picked the first Mexican place around there, and there
wasn't anything else, and it was absolutely delicious.
But I had a fun flight up there.
I learned city pads, and if the city pads are all full, you land on Taxiway J. Juliet.
But I got close to 11 hours
flight time last month. And I'm kind of like most of my goal.
It's like I want to start getting like 10 hours a month
and do like some longer flights
as opposed to just sort of zipping around the LA basin. But I have the Garmin 750
avionics in the helicopter there and I guess I was due for a download. So my instructor
downloaded the thing. So I'm flying out there and I looked at everything, looked basically
the same. It was just a little more colorful. I'm gonna go outside, goddamnit.
I just fucking shut up, this fucking AC.
Speaking of hot cities.
Hot cities in this city.
Temperature 68 degrees.
What are we gonna have a fucking snowball fight in here?
I like a nice 71.
That's where I'm at.
You know? You know what's funny is when you stay with other people. I like a nice 71. That's where I'm at.
You know, you know what's funny is when you stay with other people,
the fatter your friends are, the fucking lower the AC goes.
Like that's, you know, if you're not someone who likes to step on a scale,
I think the temperature you put your AC on.
If you're putting your AC on,
at fucking 65 degrees,
that's because you have the same sort of body fat as like a fucking polar bear.
Oh, Christy's cushions are all wet.
I wanted to sit outside.
You son of a bitch.
I'm mad at nature right now.
I shit you guys not.
I am standing on a porch right now and I'm looking at a herd of cows.
Oh Jesus, my son's getting into it with his mother.
Confident little kid, man.
I'm telling you.
Um...
Oh, listen to the birds, dude.
You don't hear that out west.
They ain't got birds in California.
Oh, what that bird's saying.
He's either trying to get laid or he's making fun of my bald head.
Oh, yeah, but I'm going to go back inside here. All right, let's making fun of my bald head. Yeah, but I'm gonna go back inside here.
Alright, let's read some of the advertising here for this week.
I ain't doing fucking shit for four days.
How great is that?
Not doing shit.
I'm just gonna fucking...
I'm watching the red socks. That's what I'm doing.
It's, you know, it sucks about the baseball seasons.
It's right when the games really start to matter,
football starts.
And they got 5,000 fucking sports channels.
So they're showing all this, can I tell you say,
I fucking hate preseason football.
I fucking hate it.
It's like, for like five plays, they put the starters in.
And then it's just a bunch of,
I don't know what, USFL play, oh, Jesus,
why would you go off and I don't know,
I actually like the USFL.
But,
no,
there's always that friend you got that's like totally,
like hardcore fucking fantasy football,
and he'll watch the entire preseason, you know, and they love
discovering new balltay, man. You know, our backup punner. Guys got a fucking cannon for a leg.
But, hey, it wouldn't surprise me if he's challenging our stata for a job.
That's what you're doing. It's the fucking last month of summer and you're fucking
sitting here watching people who aren't going to make the NFL play in the NFL. What is this?
Make a wish football? I don't want to watch this shit. I want to see the people that made
the team on week one. And I cannot wait for that first Monday night football game. I am
I am so fucking amped up for the jets versus the bills.
I am so fucking amped up for the Jets versus the Bills. I think the AFC East is going to be amazing because the dolphins are a good team.
The Jets got Aaron Rogers, all right?
And then the Bills got Josh Allen, who I swear to God, if you told me he was claimation,
I would believe it. There's just something about his fucking head.
It just looks like the kind of,
like back in the day when they would just draw a little boy,
he has like a little boy head.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Like the all-American boy, six-year-old boy,
like, oh boy, oh boy, you know,
raccoon skin on his head gonna go fly
of kite with this fucking slingshot that's what his head looks like but somehow he sees
push in thirty.
I that is the fucking story that's the only story that I give a shit about in the NFL.
And then also I love that no one's picking the Patriots. So for the first time in 20 years,
this is like zero expectations.
So I'm gonna enjoy that.
That we can be playing like spoilers.
But just this whole idea that the Buffalo Bills
are where this foregone conclusion
to when the division is now over.
Dolphins gave him a little bit of rough time
with two attackers working I got a quarterback,
right? And Tagli of 40, Gossett Jr., or something like that, a quarterback. But that's, I think,
Aaron Rogers. This is my prediction, all right? For someone who didn't play organized football past August of 3rd grade, because my dad saw the concussions that I was going to get
and then did the math with how slow I was and was just like, he's already dumb.
What are we doing here, right? So, I think the game is in New York City. I say Buffalo looks like they're gonna win.
Aaron Rodgers brings it back, classic comeback.
Jets Nation goes absolutely fucking crazy.
The Claymation kid meets Aaron Rodgers
in the middle of the field and he nods.
He goes, all right, I'll see you in a couple of months.
And then I think the bills win it.
Right, and it comes down to the wire.
And then hopefully they both make the playoffs
and kick the shit out of each other and have a great game.
That's all I'm looking for.
All right?
I'm looking for the San Diego Chargers as an organization
to somehow get their shit together
because I feel like they have the players.
They've never had the GM. They've never had the GM,
they've never had the ownership,
they've never had the whole fucking thing going on.
All right, and I think San Diego Chargers fans
have waited long enough.
I like Justin Herbert.
And then who else do we got?
Who else do we got?
You're buying a selling Jimmy G, huh?
Going to Vegas.
I mean, I think that's perfect.
I mean, there's two places Italians love living.
New Jersey and Las Vegas.
So this dude is right where he needs to be, and how great would it be if the rate is?
You know, I'm rooting for that division too.
I just wanna see, I just wanna see
great football this year.
You know, you got what's his face out in Denver?
Maybe they turn it around.
Maybe he just said, well, you know, one bad year.
Trying to get acclimated to the team.
He was also building that giant house, right?
Maybe that was a distraction.
We were just going like, honey, like, which one of these,
we need to look at tile samples for the grotto.
And he's going like, oh, but I got a game this week.
Just it'll only take a few minutes.
What, okay, great.
What, and then we'll do the back splash.
The back splash for the full kitchen down by the grotto.
Why do we need a full kitchen down?
Anyway, I still believe in the Broncos.
And then, I don't know shit about it.
There's somehow, you know what the one division
that I just don't know fucking anything about
is the AFC South.
All I know is for some reason,
the Indianapolis who's in the Midwest is in the South.
In my world, it's a lot easier
to confuse the North with the South and East with West.
But when you start confusing the Midwest with the South,
like, I don't know what the fuck to do.
There's always that one oddball team.
It's just hanging off like an appendix.
And is in the, like the red wings.
I mean, technically they're an East Coast team, right?
They're fucking, that's not the example.
It was always a win.
Was it what the Seattle Seahawks?
No, they were out in the West, that made sense.
There's a couple of just weird fucking teams.
They would just, maybe the LA Kings,
the LA Kings being in the smith,
and it was literally like Edmonton, Vancouver, Calgary.
Everything was way the fuck up in Canada,
and then they would just out there by themselves,
the closest fucking American team to the LA Kings
at one point was the St. Louis Blues.
That's how much times have changed.
The NHL, dude, I'll tell you, for a while, they could not pick a fucking city.
They could not pick a fucking city to save their life, and now they have been crushing it.
All right, I'm all over the map here.
Let's do some of the reads here. Let's do Let's do some fucking mother fucking reads
All right, uh policy genius everybody
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Dude, there's so many fucking scams.
People we got to go back to tipping and cash.
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Cheachy get the Yeho. We also played him. He was also in Carlitos way
Stand up comedy legend
All right
Let's get to the reads for this week.
Let's get to the fucking reads.
What song is that?
Stuck in my head. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Remember that Wilson, right? Well said! What was that song?
I did another day.
You know what I'm saying? What a day that you would hold down for just one day.
That was for anxious white women. anxious white women music. You know, like just everything in the,
of a certain financial category.
I'm not talking about the ones on meth
and living the middle of Pennsylvania
and come around the corner looking like a vampire
fucked of zombie.
I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about, you know,
just a never-ending supply of brand new,
stain-free oven mitts, like that level.
Insider trading level white.
All right, recall, heard about this,
new trucks ain't nothing compared to the old ones.
Ford recalls 870,000 F-150 trucks over unexpected parking brake activation.
Wait a minute, that guy that I fucking follow, Start your engines on YouTube. Said if you bought a Ford truck, you fucked.
And I was just like, ah, that's guys doing some chicken little shit.
Oh no, I bought an F, but I bought the 250.
Wait a second, what is this?
That's no big deal.
It's just a fucking parking brake slamming on
when you fucking go in 80 miles an hour
to a boat, what could go wrong?
Said Friday, it's, okay, Washington,
Ford Motor Company said Friday,
it's recalling 870,000 F-150 trucks in the United States
because the risk of an unexpected activation
of the electric parking brake due to a potential wiring issue.
The recalls covered 2021 through 2023 model F-150 trucks according to a filing.
Hey, I got one for you.
Is anybody did your directional work well on your truck and now all of a sudden it goes
like 90 miles an hour when you turn it on?
Inside the truck and go, and then you go outside to see if it's doing it and given somebody an epileptic seizure behind you but it isn't
tailgate you know the the the the the brake light one in the front one
is still going
you know like blink
bomb dink don't like that but inside the cab is going
like super fucking fast
uh...
i don't give a fuck
i still like my Ford truck.
Um, all right, well that's good to know.
It's good to know that I have that issue coming up.
Um, but all the recall is, is you just bring it in and they fix it for free before it ever
happens.
So I mean, they're kind of being responsible, no?
And I would say because it's electronic rather than just how it used to be, you just stepped
on the thing and it was like a spring, some sort of pulley system.
I have no idea.
I'm not a mechanically inclined.
The more sophisticated it is, the more weighted ads to the vehicle, the more things that can
go wrong, the more fuel it burns, palm trees.
Hey, Bill, I live in Los Angeles the more fuel it burns palm trees
uh... hey bill i live in los angeles and i recently heard that palm trees have a
life expectancy
of a hundred twenty five years
and most of them were planted a hundred ten years ago
which will lead to a mass dieoff of trees in the next fifteen years or so
so is this something your land scapers have warned you about?
They have not, but I didn't realize that,
I only found out recently that palm trees
are not indigenous to Los Angeles.
Well, listen, I think what will happen
is in areas that people don't have money,
which is becoming everything but the upper class at this point,
as we slowly go into just halves and halves knots,
and we destroy the middle class.
Biden's America! I love when they do that.
You can thank Donald Trump for that!
Oh yeah, in fucking four years he did all of that.
It's been happening my entire life.
Regardless of who is in office
It's been a slow march to we get everything and you you should be lucky that something trickles down to you
All right, I live in Los Angeles, Bob of a yeah, I I think you know Beverly Hills. They'll they'll just fly in
They'll just go buy some full-size ones full-size ones and they'll just fly in, they'll just go buy some full size ones
and they'll put them in there.
That is amazing.
15 years, I'll be 70 years old people.
That's how fast life goes by.
So right as I'm dying off, no.
I actually think I'm gonna do all right in that department.
We'll see.
You never know.
Daily Club, Billy Twilight Toes. I have no idea what that means,
but I actually like that. Even if it's an insult. I remember Billy White shoes Johnson in the NFL.
I could have been the white version of him. Billy Twilight Toes. Over the mill, over the mill,
a Billy Twilight Toes on days as slow as carrying the league with somehow. God bless his
freckled already figures out a way to get open. Oh what he's doing as he
understands the defense he's sitting down on the zone. Oh I thought he just
turned around after they said after they hiked the ball. Billy Twilight Toes has
40 yards receiving and we're only in the third quarter. He could beat
his best record, his best game of 41 yards. You ever think of joining a country club
or an Elk's club or would you get sick of seeing the same people every day? I think, you
know, what back when I was drinking I thought about doing that. I need to have to help out
with functions or be on
duty for some work. So I think Elks or Rotary Club might not be for me. Country Club would
be nice if there was no heavy pressure of high high high school ask drama between the rich people.
I'm more of an Elk's club guy.
I like that type of stuff.
You know what I mean? I don't golf.
So I feel like that's all they do with country clubs
is everybody goes out and they golf.
Jesus, and just the sound.
You know the sound of golf spikes on a sidewalk?
That's the male version of like,
Stiletto heels, where you just know,
male, like when you hear that, that's like male bimbos. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh God, with the big fat fucking torsos,
from just eating those sandwiches,
giant fucking sandwiches,
they all got the fucking heart attack body.
All right, AI.
Bill, my biggest problem with AI is that
it just came out of nowhere, right?
No, I thought they've been working on for well
there was no steady on ramp to having to hear those letters
every fucking day
uh... it's like the words streaming content and algorithm
it feels like they were coming out of the shoot way too fast into the twenty
second century
uh... i'm sure i'll be asking my kids how to use the AI in 15 years
the way my old man asked me about the internet.
And then I'll be asking his kid how to do,
how to update the software on his robotic implants.
Thanks and go fuck yourself.
Yeah, I don't know why we need AI.
I think it all comes down to just,
it's a combination of like,
sociopaths at the top are sick of strikes
in workers that have needs,
because they wanna take everything.
So if they have robots and that type of shit,
they'll never go on strike.
And then, but they don't know how to build them.
But then you have nerds who don't know how to talk to women.
So the nerds are smart enough to know what the sociopaths are doing, but the temptation
to actually build a hot chick that will fuck them so they can go to Comic Con and have a little
fucking swagger in this step. It's just too tempting, so they go ahead and make them.
Nerds are the fucking worst. Nerds make sociopaths dreams come true. You know, sociopaths come up with just insane shit, right?
Like, can I have a prostitute that's also a nuclear weapon?
And then the nerds are like, well, yeah, I mean, can I fuck it too?
Not only during the, uh, the testing phase. All right, cool, I'll do it.
Uh, Japan!
do it. Japan, Bilba Sensei. Thanks for all the last for the past decade plus. I've been listening since let it go in my high school days in Pasadena. I'm in my late 20s living
in Japan. I heard in last week's episode that it is a bucket list place for you. It's
really an amazing country. Something that you might personally find interesting is Japan's It's a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very The closest thing that I've seen to stand up comedy being performed in Japanese is when
I went to Scotland, because it might as well have been, they might as well have been speaking
Japanese because I couldn't understand a fucking word these guys were saying it was amazing.
The guy I told this whole fucking story, I couldn't understand any of it until the his tag or his punchline
was tough and up your weak hunt. That was the only part I understood.
Tough and up your weak hunt. I once went to an assembly at my neighborhood middle school
and watched two class leaders perform a prescripted set making fun of relatable everyday things like
popular teacher, like a popular teacher, or falling asleep in class. The style is
called manzai and it's much different from American stand-up. Manzai is fast
pace, scripted dialogue, and done-and-do-os. Oh my god, that's fascinating.
Despite the language barrier, you might be interested in going to a show to see just how
different it is and how, and yet how Japanese people go crazy for it.
I would love to see that.
I'm going to look it up now so I don't have to travel and actually get the experience.
No, I, um have to travel and actually get the experience. No, I...
That's incredible.
I would love to see.
Lastly, I also know you're a sauna guy and that you like to support local businesses.
You got to experience a stay at Raiyoken or traditional in for at least one night. You sleep on a tatami mat floor with
futon mattress. Drink complimentary green tea, eat a hearty Japanese breakfast, dress in
traditional bath robes and use the hot bath. Dude, I'm in. I just can't deal with the
flight. Don't you have to fly like I said straight north up to like Santa Claus where the fucking
Globe is in this big around the waist and then you fly over
the best case is to find a
Roya-kin in a hot spring
Onsen village and use that
in a hot spring, onsen village, and use that Ryokens private bath.
They are allowed to channel the town's natural hot spring
water to the property.
There are too many incredible onsen villages to choose from,
but I'm not going to butcher all these things.
Ryud, Jin Murra, Kino Sakki, it sounds like a motorcycle company.
And Takayama come to mind initially.
I can see why people want to learn that language.
Those are cool names.
What do you live?
Takayama.
Takayama, motherfucker.
A lot of show guns and samarized used to vacation in these places so you'll be in good company.
In addition to getting hit hard from COVID, these beautiful, locally owned small businesses
are losing fashion to big resort and hotel chains.
They're worth every penny to support.
God damn these fucking corporations.
Sayonara for now.
Ciao for now, I get it.
Sayonara for now.
Oh, that was a cute little thing.
I see what you did there.
All right, that is the podcast everyone.
Go fuck yourselves.
I will check in on you on Thursday.
Go Red Socks.
I will check in on you on Thursday.
Go Red Socks!