Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 7-31-23

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

Bill rambles about summer, recalls, and palm trees. Policy Genius:  Head to www.policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you coul...d save. Zip Recruiter:  Try ZipRecruiter for free at www.ZipRecruiter.com/BURR  AG1:  Take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D, and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at www.drinkAG1.com/BURR 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday July 31st 2020 tree Jesus Christ. Where's the summer going? I Feel like every other year. I'll say to myself and me now. All right Summer's coming. Make sure you take it in. And then every other year, I don't. And then all of a sudden, it's almost fucking August. Then I even had a bottle and James yet, dude. I've been enjoying a little time off with the family back-eached.
Starting point is 00:00:46 The big thing when you go back-ease is, I can't eat all this fucking Italian food, you know, all the stuff that I miss. All the fucking pizza and the bread and all the shit that they can't make out now. It's got, it's the air. It's the water. You know what, there's some guys from Brooklyn, they just moved out here, they flew the water. You know what, there's some guys from Brooklyn,
Starting point is 00:01:05 they just moved out here, they flew the water from Brooklyn out, it still stinks. Still stinks, I don't know what it is. They can make really good pizza. They can't make great pizza out there, they can make really good pasta, what it is, just I don't know what it is. It's just not the same.
Starting point is 00:01:23 I remember doing a gig a long time ago, the Count Basie theory theater out in Red Bank, New Jersey. I was, I forget where I was going next, I just randomly stopped in some little strip mall and they had a little store there that they were making pasta by hand and all. Some of the best shit I've ever had in my life. Just random. Didn't have to know anybody. Just saw the Italian flag stopped and it was fucking unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:01:56 So, we're back here for a few days. The family and all of that have been getting caught up on my Boston Red Sox, dude. How about Tristan Cassis? Is that all you say is hitting the cover off the ball? He's been crushing it. Justin Turner's been killing it. Got that Durango ran guy flying around on the basis. I mean, I know we lost the last two games in overtime, too, in extra innings, but they're still, they're a fun team to watch. And I'm just like that guy at first basis, panning out.
Starting point is 00:02:39 We always have some fucking like nine foot guy playing for the red socks. You know, halfway decent in the field, but can't hit a curve ball or an off-speed pitch but everybody's always like, I tell you if he ever gets a holder one. I know, dude, but the fucking guy, the body on the guy, if he ever gets a fucking holder one, dude,
Starting point is 00:03:00 he's gonna fucking, it never happens. Well, now it's happening. So I've been enjoying that. We're playing Seattle. The Seattle Mariners and the fucking Kingdom, Keirina, they knocked them all down. What's the name? What are they?
Starting point is 00:03:19 Edison Field. Should be Tesla Field. Shouldn't it? In Edison's steel, everything from Tesla, the actual Tesla, not the laminated face nerd that wants to have a cage match with that calculus major. Is that going to, I heard the Facebook guy actually does mix martial arts which means he could fucking throw me around the room. I wonder what the other guy
Starting point is 00:03:51 did. I don't know what happened. You know, it's really fucking nuts what people do when it comes to money. You know, unless they're in business together and they were gonna do some Jake Paul shit. That's, I said that before, that should be the winner of the WinnerFights Jake Paul for the title in the Jake Paul boxing association, the JP IBF. Yeah, it's really just been seeing how crazy hot it's been this year and all that type of stuff. And then you just, I'm watching like the media and they go, what did they call like cities
Starting point is 00:04:34 that are like ungodly hot now? They calling them something cities, charge cities, hot cities, whatever, but they're not going to talk about how the fuck we ended up here because they're not gonna fuck with their money. And it's just like at some point, you're gonna be like, guys, what are you protecting here? There's gonna be nothing left.
Starting point is 00:04:57 The direction we're going, I wanna get all fucking doomsday here, but Jesus Christ, they just fucking talk around the whole thing. They don't say that since 1959, 1950 fucking nine scientists are going, hey man, the way we're living, it's gonna do this to the planet. They're like, I'll be dead by then. Give me another fucking lobster roll and a couple of horrors
Starting point is 00:05:24 to fucking lick my balls while I eat it. I always wondered about people like that. That are like just totally into their own pleasure, regardless of how many people that they hurt. Right? Which I guess we both can kill to that. You know, fucking. Going into the fridge late at night, eating the last slice is something. It happened in the last few cookies.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Got the crumbs on the side of your face and your wife's like, did you eat that peanut butter cookie? And you're like, whoa. And you got a faint, like you're not selfish. Oh, did- did you want that? That's when you just get the side glance and they walk out of the fucking room. So anyway, I'm on vacation here with the family and you know, I don't have access to a gym. So I've been doing so well over the last month, but I do have access down the road. They rent some bicycles or whatever. So I'm gonna write a bike like a fucking European guy
Starting point is 00:06:35 Which is good because I'm trying to get into Euro's shape All right from for my fellow Americans listening to this podcast I try to get myself in really good shape before I go to Europe, just to shut those fucking concepts, you know, because they're always talking about how out of shape Americans are and everything, right? And then you go over there, you know, and they think somehow they eat fish and chips out of a fucking old newspaper every day and they're going to have a body of an adonis. But they are in, they are in better shape. They just have better food than we do. So if you're a peon, come on over here. I'm sure
Starting point is 00:07:14 the dollar is nice and weak, right? Come over here. You fucking eat some of our food. You bulk up. And you go back to the pub and you face your high school bully, you fucking lean on them with all those trans fats you're carrying around, you fucking your chesticles and your fucking mantids there, whatever, chesticles. That's what I call them. And you fucking love handles. The fuck was I just gonna talk about? Something in that reminding me of something I was like, you know what, I should talk about that.
Starting point is 00:07:54 That is what I should talk about. You know, it just, it left me. But anyway, I'm gonna make sure I just keep eating the salads with the protein and all of that stuff. What the fuck is this? Stop texting me. How dare you text me when I'm in the middle of my podcast? Yeah, so I got that kid coming up, I got Halifax coming up, I got Springfield, Massachusetts
Starting point is 00:08:21 coming up. So my big thing is that I'm just is that I landed and I had a salad. It's a little bit of chicken in it, fat of cheese. You know, but I didn't work out yesterday, so. It's fucking, you know, every time, every time I start to get in shape, I'll bet what are you gonna do now? How you gonna fucking wh wine about your life.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Boohoo you're so busy when your whole business is on fucking strike. I do love how fucking heartless some people are you know. I was seeing that there was a guy that writes for that show The Bear which is a massive, massive hit and the writing is incredible on it. He writes on the show he has a gig writing for a hit TV show and he's living below the poverty line, right? So most people were empathetic. Somebody writes, get another job. Blaming him, right? He's working 17 hour, fucking days, 14 hour days, or whatever, and the writers room in and get another fucking job. And then somebody goes,
Starting point is 00:09:25 why don't you have the actors pay them? Cause they look at actors going, thinking they're all making a zillion dollars. You know? And they like know their names. That's the genius of being the money behind the money as nobody knows your fucking name. Telling the actor should pay the fucking writer
Starting point is 00:09:44 is like, you know, they're underpaying the guy, you know, unloading trucks at Home Depot and then the manager of Home Depot should pay the guy. Not the people that own Home Depot and own the fucking building. Hey, you're underpaying that quarterback, quarterback, the quarterback should pay him. Well, what about the fucking owner
Starting point is 00:10:07 uh... quarterbacks making too much money what is the owner make i have no idea i don't even know what is fucking aim is exactly uh... and all the guy was asking for was just a fucking middle-class living uh... that is kind of the genius to this whole fucking rat race. Is it causes you to turn on the wrong person I feel. So I'm for the workers here. I'm not for these fucking, I mean, you know, only time you ever know like a CEO's name is
Starting point is 00:10:41 when he takes it to such a ridiculous level. Such like a spinal tap, ridiculous level of greed that he fucking ends up on that show up. American greed. I mean, that guy, he had a $13,000 umbrella stand. Then what's funny is when they're stealing from the company, they end up failing guilty, you know, in the back of their head. So then they start throwing these lavish parties and they invite their co-workers and
Starting point is 00:11:18 somehow appease as their guilt. Yeah, I stole the money, but I, you know, I threw a party and I invited my co-workers. So I'm kind of like Robin Hood, right? And then eventually the fed show up. And then they go to jail. And I always pick their picture, their jail, is like a tennis club, you know, that just has like modest sort of quarters or something I Wonder what the number one like fucking weapon is in a white collar prison like it was like a letter opener
Starting point is 00:11:59 A sharpened money clip He smuggled it in and his fucking ass, this fanny pack. He should probably allow to have one. I know you guys, if you guys want to submit some fucking jokes for that. All right, Mrs. makes me miss the David Letterman show. Tonight here in my hand, I have the top 10 list, the top 10 weapons in a white-collar prison words.
Starting point is 00:12:27 All right plowing ahead here. That reminded me of, I don't know what the hell I was watching, but that whole fucking, you know, speaking of traveling and all of that shit, you remember that was another show, fucking arrested abroad, which I swear to God you got halfway through one episode is you're like I don't even go on a road island I am not leaving you know when you leave your tribe like you're an American you live in America then all of a sudden you go somewhere else and you do some dumb shit right and you get your dumb ass caught doing the dumb shit. And then what do you do?
Starting point is 00:13:07 You fucking try to reach out to your local senator. Like, hey man, you know, I'm on your team and they're like keeping me over here, man. Like, that's not cool, right? And then you realize, you know, your value when all of a sudden you realize you've been left unprotected in your own country is fine with you testing the free agent market in different prisons around the globe that's when you dislike oh no
Starting point is 00:13:39 i was believing all that shit they said every four years when i actually pay attention to politics when they fucking uh four years when I actually pay attention to politics. When they fucking uh... when they gas up Joe's six pack. Yeah, he puts his pants on one leg at a time. Day gets cancer from the local fucking area where they were tested. Atomic weapons back in the 50s and 60s and now we're not gonna help him out But once a year we give him a shout out Give him a shout out and we talk about how he puts his pants on and then after that when you know We can't get a fucking job or he's you know lost the limb Fighting for this country
Starting point is 00:14:19 You know Then we don't know but once every four years Maybe the beginning of a football game, you know will then we don't know. But once every four years, maybe the beginning of a football game, you know, will parade them out. There he is, Joe six pack. He only hit his wife once. That was the surprise ending there, right? I was sitting there going, he got to remember these guys.
Starting point is 00:14:44 That was just my way of saying, aren't we all just a little bit flawed somebody gave oh what's his face uh... brian holstmann gave me this book he's going to be on my podcast uh... he gave me this book what the fuck killers killers of the, the, the something moon? Killers of the leaf moon or something like that. It's just another one of these fucking stories that they, you know, they just don't tell you about when you're coming up in grade school.
Starting point is 00:15:20 It's always like, okay, a bunch of white people came over here with buckles on their shoes because they were getting away from religious persecution, which now is kind of fucking hilarious to me. You know, you like fucking gonna persecute me because I'm going to church. It's like, I, I, I, all right, I won't go. I don't have a problem with that. I mean, twist my fucking arm. Hey, you know what? I'd go to church, but there's too much persecution out there. Oh my God, that's not what religious persecution is.
Starting point is 00:16:00 You know, religious persecution is making somebody go to church every Sunday. Remember that? Your parents are making you get up. You just have that fucking feeling in your stomach. You put on that itchy sweater. You go down there and there'd be that fucking old guy up there and he would just be going. Like, it would always go really fast up to. And this is the word of the Lord and people that day are going to be the God. And then the guy breaking to his homily, you know, I live alone in the rectory drink a lot of wine that hasn't been blessed every once in a
Starting point is 00:16:39 while. I volunteer for some sort of activity with little boys, but we're not going to talk about that, and he would just go on, and on, and on, and on, and you would just be sitting there, wrap it up. Just fucking wrap it up. Fabulous Thunderbirds, wrap it up, I'll take it, right? Hey, finally! This old unmarried fucking poor bastard With no fly on his pants
Starting point is 00:17:11 You know like you couldn't shimmy him down if he got a hooker, right? I'd love to have Illegal sex with you, but I just can't get these damn things off Oh, well, you see what they do is they sow them onto you. What was your name, Porsche? Oh, Impala, sorry, Impala. What they do is they fucking, they sow them around your hips and then you just keep eating the body of gray.
Starting point is 00:17:37 And each week you get a little fatter. And then that's it. It's like a chastity belt for a guy. Those black pre-slacks, Rayon, you know. It's funny, the same pants that pre-swear is the same one that all real estate agents wore when I was growing up. So, it was the Nancy Reagan power suit. I thought that was fitting because, you know, both groups of people were fucking you,
Starting point is 00:18:03 right? Oh, Jesus, Bill. Was I talking about this on stage or was I talking on my podcast? Or I said because the, I was talking about how because porn is free now and these abused women can't make any money. Like, I feel like they're now all getting into real estate. Like judging like what real estate agents look like now.
Starting point is 00:18:34 I mean, they look like horse at a Ron Burgundy party, you know, when they would like, you know, back in the day when your hairy chested friend was come with a town, you know. back in the day, when your hairy chested friend was coming to town. You know, your job was to rally up a couple of hores and make sure he had a good time. Make sure he has a good time when he's out here, huh? Hunt doll face.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Okay, daddy. All right, and then he fucking go out and they ride the guy, clinging to his chest hair. What ever happened at chest hair? Is that going to come back? If the mullet is back, you got to think chest hair. At some point is going to come back. What about that little toothbrush thing that they had for guys?
Starting point is 00:19:20 You could like manicure your whole body. So let's say, how fucking long does that take for the average Greek man or Italian guy to fucking get ready for work if you're gonna give him, he needs like a dustbuster level one, right? Now you get someone like me, you know, I got the orangutan hair,
Starting point is 00:19:42 so I mean it doesn't even show up. You could give me, I could use one of those things. I'm in the land of Martha Stewart right now. She's a Connecticut person, right? I'm staying out here with Connecticut. I like Connecticut, right? It's got everything you could possibly want here. From, you know, gang activity to elite white people in the clan. I mean, you just sort of have, you could do like,
Starting point is 00:20:15 20 seasons of behind the scenes in prisons, and a merit to American greed. Can I get some very interesting state? And I think that that's why they don't have any time you're in a state that doesn't have any professional sports teams. I always feel like they're up to something. You know, like this is where the super rich go to hang out and stuff like that, you know, super rich, go to hang out and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:20:48 I don't, I don't, the prairies out there. Chard cities, people on fire. If you catch on fire because of this heat wave, what to do if you catch on fire? We're not gonna discuss how we ended up here. What to do if you catch on fire? We're not gonna discuss how we ended up here. What to do when the water that you wanted to use to brush your teeth starts boiling
Starting point is 00:21:13 before it gets to your mouth? Here's the five things that you can do to not scald your gums. Today we have anti-scalding your gum expert. Tammy, fuck, and what's her cunt, right? And she's gonna sit here with her priest, whore real estate slacks on, and she's gonna let us know how in 2027 you go about brushing your teeth.
Starting point is 00:21:48 You know, there's a lot of people are starting to say that the incredible raise, rise in halitosis is actually not caused by boiling water that you can't, well, the water that you can't get to your mouth before it starts boiling. It's actually the cause of global warming. It's the bad breath. That is the new, and of course, liberals are calling this misinformation. Conservatives are calling this socialism.
Starting point is 00:22:17 But I'm still making foreign agranda week to read this bullshit to you. And I have enough money to have my own fire department that will spray foam on top of my house when it ignites in onto me as I roll around in the yard. What am I talking about? I don't know. I have no idea. I'm fucking getting used to the time change out here. My son got up and fucking still, six in the morning. Six in the morning doesn't matter what time zone we're in, so which is like three o'clock our time. Stated there like a zombie,
Starting point is 00:22:53 but you fucking oatmeal. Yeah, if a guy doesn't like milk and a zelp meal. He's like, Dad, I don't know what, no, no, well, no, no want milk. No want milk and I'm like, why don't I have to tell you, buddy? I can't take the. I don't want milk, and I'm like, well, I don't want to tell you, buddy. I can't take the milk out of it. And he's like, okay, bye bye, Dad. And he just fucking walks away.
Starting point is 00:23:15 He's a very confident little kid. Very confident little kid. Anyway, so I'm gonna try to enjoy myself out here for a couple, two, three days, a little four day, thinking about Jake here, and then I'm back to the grind. I'm gonna be back on the road again, and like I said, I'm gonna somehow wake up here. I'm gonna ride a bicycle every day, I'm gonna eat salads, The green shirt diet continues.
Starting point is 00:23:48 I had a fun week flying, man. I flew up to San E. Nez again. I've been racking up the hours and then I flew a buddy of mine up to Santa Barbara. We hung out across from the, whatever the fuck the name of that theater is up there. Did I, I haven't played in years. Oh God, not the Algonquin, the Alexander.
Starting point is 00:24:15 It begins with an A, the Alameda. Hang on a second, let me look this fucking theater up. Santa. Barbara theater, there's two of them. There's the Gleason. There, the Arlington. Well, there's also an Ampe Theater up there with like Joni Mitchell, Theater Live Albums.
Starting point is 00:24:40 Yeah, the Arlington Theater. I knew when, both times when I ate there, they said there's a great Mexican restaurant. Next door, both times they ordered these tacos and they were delicious. So we went up there and we just had the Uber driver. You know, I googled Bill Burr, Santa Barbara, and I found the theater, so I just haven't
Starting point is 00:25:05 dropped us into the vicinity, and I picked the first Mexican place around there, and there wasn't anything else, and it was absolutely delicious. But I had a fun flight up there. I learned city pads, and if the city pads are all full, you land on Taxiway J. Juliet. But I got close to 11 hours flight time last month. And I'm kind of like most of my goal. It's like I want to start getting like 10 hours a month and do like some longer flights
Starting point is 00:25:42 as opposed to just sort of zipping around the LA basin. But I have the Garmin 750 avionics in the helicopter there and I guess I was due for a download. So my instructor downloaded the thing. So I'm flying out there and I looked at everything, looked basically the same. It was just a little more colorful. I'm gonna go outside, goddamnit. I just fucking shut up, this fucking AC. Speaking of hot cities. Hot cities in this city. Temperature 68 degrees.
Starting point is 00:26:17 What are we gonna have a fucking snowball fight in here? I like a nice 71. That's where I'm at. You know? You know what's funny is when you stay with other people. I like a nice 71. That's where I'm at. You know, you know what's funny is when you stay with other people, the fatter your friends are, the fucking lower the AC goes. Like that's, you know, if you're not someone who likes to step on a scale, I think the temperature you put your AC on.
Starting point is 00:26:42 If you're putting your AC on, at fucking 65 degrees, that's because you have the same sort of body fat as like a fucking polar bear. Oh, Christy's cushions are all wet. I wanted to sit outside. You son of a bitch. I'm mad at nature right now. I shit you guys not.
Starting point is 00:27:12 I am standing on a porch right now and I'm looking at a herd of cows. Oh Jesus, my son's getting into it with his mother. Confident little kid, man. I'm telling you. Um... Oh, listen to the birds, dude. You don't hear that out west. They ain't got birds in California.
Starting point is 00:27:37 Oh, what that bird's saying. He's either trying to get laid or he's making fun of my bald head. Oh, yeah, but I'm going to go back inside here. All right, let's making fun of my bald head. Yeah, but I'm gonna go back inside here. Alright, let's read some of the advertising here for this week. I ain't doing fucking shit for four days. How great is that? Not doing shit. I'm just gonna fucking...
Starting point is 00:27:59 I'm watching the red socks. That's what I'm doing. It's, you know, it sucks about the baseball seasons. It's right when the games really start to matter, football starts. And they got 5,000 fucking sports channels. So they're showing all this, can I tell you say, I fucking hate preseason football. I fucking hate it.
Starting point is 00:28:19 It's like, for like five plays, they put the starters in. And then it's just a bunch of, I don't know what, USFL play, oh, Jesus, why would you go off and I don't know, I actually like the USFL. But, no, there's always that friend you got that's like totally,
Starting point is 00:28:38 like hardcore fucking fantasy football, and he'll watch the entire preseason, you know, and they love discovering new balltay, man. You know, our backup punner. Guys got a fucking cannon for a leg. But, hey, it wouldn't surprise me if he's challenging our stata for a job. That's what you're doing. It's the fucking last month of summer and you're fucking sitting here watching people who aren't going to make the NFL play in the NFL. What is this? Make a wish football? I don't want to watch this shit. I want to see the people that made the team on week one. And I cannot wait for that first Monday night football game. I am
Starting point is 00:29:20 I am so fucking amped up for the jets versus the bills. I am so fucking amped up for the Jets versus the Bills. I think the AFC East is going to be amazing because the dolphins are a good team. The Jets got Aaron Rogers, all right? And then the Bills got Josh Allen, who I swear to God, if you told me he was claimation, I would believe it. There's just something about his fucking head. It just looks like the kind of, like back in the day when they would just draw a little boy, he has like a little boy head.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Pfft. Pfft. Like the all-American boy, six-year-old boy, like, oh boy, oh boy, you know, raccoon skin on his head gonna go fly of kite with this fucking slingshot that's what his head looks like but somehow he sees push in thirty. I that is the fucking story that's the only story that I give a shit about in the NFL.
Starting point is 00:30:20 And then also I love that no one's picking the Patriots. So for the first time in 20 years, this is like zero expectations. So I'm gonna enjoy that. That we can be playing like spoilers. But just this whole idea that the Buffalo Bills are where this foregone conclusion to when the division is now over. Dolphins gave him a little bit of rough time
Starting point is 00:30:44 with two attackers working I got a quarterback, right? And Tagli of 40, Gossett Jr., or something like that, a quarterback. But that's, I think, Aaron Rogers. This is my prediction, all right? For someone who didn't play organized football past August of 3rd grade, because my dad saw the concussions that I was going to get and then did the math with how slow I was and was just like, he's already dumb. What are we doing here, right? So, I think the game is in New York City. I say Buffalo looks like they're gonna win. Aaron Rodgers brings it back, classic comeback. Jets Nation goes absolutely fucking crazy. The Claymation kid meets Aaron Rodgers
Starting point is 00:31:37 in the middle of the field and he nods. He goes, all right, I'll see you in a couple of months. And then I think the bills win it. Right, and it comes down to the wire. And then hopefully they both make the playoffs and kick the shit out of each other and have a great game. That's all I'm looking for. All right?
Starting point is 00:31:55 I'm looking for the San Diego Chargers as an organization to somehow get their shit together because I feel like they have the players. They've never had the GM. They've never had the GM, they've never had the ownership, they've never had the whole fucking thing going on. All right, and I think San Diego Chargers fans have waited long enough.
Starting point is 00:32:17 I like Justin Herbert. And then who else do we got? Who else do we got? You're buying a selling Jimmy G, huh? Going to Vegas. I mean, I think that's perfect. I mean, there's two places Italians love living. New Jersey and Las Vegas.
Starting point is 00:32:34 So this dude is right where he needs to be, and how great would it be if the rate is? You know, I'm rooting for that division too. I just wanna see, I just wanna see great football this year. You know, you got what's his face out in Denver? Maybe they turn it around. Maybe he just said, well, you know, one bad year. Trying to get acclimated to the team.
Starting point is 00:33:04 He was also building that giant house, right? Maybe that was a distraction. We were just going like, honey, like, which one of these, we need to look at tile samples for the grotto. And he's going like, oh, but I got a game this week. Just it'll only take a few minutes. What, okay, great. What, and then we'll do the back splash.
Starting point is 00:33:32 The back splash for the full kitchen down by the grotto. Why do we need a full kitchen down? Anyway, I still believe in the Broncos. And then, I don't know shit about it. There's somehow, you know what the one division that I just don't know fucking anything about is the AFC South. All I know is for some reason,
Starting point is 00:34:00 the Indianapolis who's in the Midwest is in the South. In my world, it's a lot easier to confuse the North with the South and East with West. But when you start confusing the Midwest with the South, like, I don't know what the fuck to do. There's always that one oddball team. It's just hanging off like an appendix. And is in the, like the red wings.
Starting point is 00:34:31 I mean, technically they're an East Coast team, right? They're fucking, that's not the example. It was always a win. Was it what the Seattle Seahawks? No, they were out in the West, that made sense. There's a couple of just weird fucking teams. They would just, maybe the LA Kings, the LA Kings being in the smith,
Starting point is 00:34:51 and it was literally like Edmonton, Vancouver, Calgary. Everything was way the fuck up in Canada, and then they would just out there by themselves, the closest fucking American team to the LA Kings at one point was the St. Louis Blues. That's how much times have changed. The NHL, dude, I'll tell you, for a while, they could not pick a fucking city. They could not pick a fucking city to save their life, and now they have been crushing it.
Starting point is 00:35:19 All right, I'm all over the map here. Let's do some of the reads here. Let's do Let's do some fucking mother fucking reads All right, uh policy genius everybody You know if you have a family like I do you know how much your loved ones depend on you and a worst-case scenario You wouldn't want them to worry about money. A good turn your death into a windfall of cash with policy genius. A good life and give your wife motive to start putting shit, adding some extra ingredients
Starting point is 00:35:55 into your food. A good life insurance plan can give you peace of mind that if something happens to you, your family will have a safety net to cover mortgage payments, college costs, or other expenses. So they can get back on their feet and focus on what's most important. Her find in a new swing and dick to buy her some bags and shoes.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Already, have coverage through work? Employer's sponsored life insurance may not offer enough protection for your family needs. You know it isn't worth shit. Why would your boss care if you died? Once your daddy has no need for you. He's not going to cover it for you. You need policy genius.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Anyway, if it won't follow you, if you leave your job. Oh, your life insurance that you're paying into. With policy genius, well, there's a great way to scam your employers. You have a portion of the check. You just withdraw it every year and it goes into this life insurance fund, right? Goes into the life insurance fund, but then if you leave or get fired, the money from your check that was in that fucking fund does not go with you. Dude, there's so many fucking scams.
Starting point is 00:37:11 People we got to go back to tipping and cash. Somebody finally gave me a heads up on that. I was thinking that the other day when I was at the airport and I bought a magazine and it said tip and I was looking at the sad lady sitting there at the register. I was like, I'll give you a 10% percent fifty percent tip on a fucking magazine that i went picked out myself and i was thinking afterwards was on the car like a lot of f**k as it go to her portion of the proceeds to the rest of it goes to the the god damn people that
Starting point is 00:37:37 own that kiosk so i don't know what i'm saying here with policy genius you can find life insurance policies that started just twenty five dollars per month for $1 million of coverage. You can pay $25 and get $1 million worth of coverage. You must be fucking 0% body fat. Step it out of an Olympic pool. Some options offer coverage. It is little as a week and avoid unnecessary medical exams.
Starting point is 00:38:02 I don't need a medical exam. I'm sure you're fine with your Pelican neck. Policy Genius has licensed award-winning agents who can help you find the best fit for your needs. Now wonder they have thousands of five star reviews on Google and trust pilot. Your loved ones deserve a financial safety net. You deserve a smarter way to find and buy it.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com. Oh, look who it is everybody. It's all zip. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr You know if you're hiring, you know that it's incredibly hard to attract top talent. And with the current labor market conditions, it's even harder than ever. That's why you want it. That was so fucking vague.
Starting point is 00:38:57 That's why you want to get a partner who gets it. You want zip. Zippercruder knows how tough it is right now, but they figured out solutions for the problems you're facing. See for yourself right now. You can try them for free at zip. Yeah dot com slash burr. Zippercruder is ready to tackle your recruiting challenges. To reach more of the right people, you know, it's like we're reaching people, but it's not the right people. I didn't know you could say that in 2023. Excuse me. As a person of color, what do you mean the right people?
Starting point is 00:39:41 That has very cryptic message there. Anyway, Zip, Gap, the double read, post your job to 100. I am a person of color. I am orange. And I don't think I am represented in the job place. Your job to 100 plus job sites need to hire as soon as possible. Zip recruit is smart. Technology finds a great match matches for your job sooner.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Want first dibs on talent? Zipp, let's you invite the most qualified people to apply to your job. Zippercruis pricing is straightforward. No surprise costs. Turn, team up with a hiring partner who understands what you need. Old zip, quarter, four to five employers who've post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to this exclusive web address to try Zip, for free Zip Recruiter.com slash burr.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Again, that Zip Recruiter.com slash burr, spell out burr, B-B-B-B for free Zip-B-B-Cruder.com slash burr. Again, that zip-Br-Cruder.com slash burr, spell out burr, B-U-R-R. Zip-Br-Cruder. The smartest way to hire. I mean, if you guys don't think I have the best dramatic pause in the podcast game is the kids say, in the game. Yes, game is the kids say in the game.
Starting point is 00:41:09 A G one. That this was AGI, A G one. For our next partner is A G one. The daily foundational nutritional supplement that supports whole body health. I could use some of this shit Well, I take a bunch of different things where you can just mix one scoop of powder and water once a day A.G.1 was designed with ease in mind so you can live healthier and better without having to complicate your routine I wish I had some a G1 right now right before I get on that bicycle You know my old fucking ass getting on that seat. AG1 replaces your multivitamin
Starting point is 00:41:52 probiotic and more in one simple drinkable habit. I just pictured being like iron man, and just drinking that fucking thing and putting your suit on and going to work. AG1 is a foundational nutritional supplement that delivers comprehensive nutrients to support whole body health, science-driven formulation of vitamins, probiotics, and whole food source nutrients. Every scoop is packed with 75 vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and whole source food, ingredients of high quality that gives you major benefits like gut and mood support boost and energy. Am I want to fucking use this shit?
Starting point is 00:42:28 And even healthier looking skin and hair and nails. What would you guys do if I fucking started taking this shit? And I just showed up with a lion's mane of ginger hair, you know? Hair do like Bob Rock, like that guy that owns the fucking hot air balloon Remember that that guy he looked like like one of those lion tamer guys one of them died out in Vegas Sick free and Roy was like sick free and Roy and he was like the Andy Gibb of that lion tamer family You know just sort of the black sheep, you know, he wasn't in the lions, he was straight, he had hot air balloons instead of fucking,
Starting point is 00:43:11 what do they call them? Big cats. AG1 is raising the standard for quality and supplement, in the supplement category. AG1 helps you build your health foundation first. I want to try this shit. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. This sounds like, you know, if you fucking don't wanna get sick on the road, you know, all these people coughing on the planes or whatever, right?
Starting point is 00:43:42 Go to drinkag1.com slashber. That to drink AG1.com slash bur that's drink AG1.com slash bur and As angel Salazar would say check it out. All right Cheachy get the Yeho. We also played him. He was also in Carlitos way Stand up comedy legend All right Let's get to the reads for this week. Let's get to the fucking reads. What song is that?
Starting point is 00:44:10 Stuck in my head. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Remember that Wilson, right? Well said! What was that song? I did another day. You know what I'm saying? What a day that you would hold down for just one day. That was for anxious white women. anxious white women music. You know, like just everything in the, of a certain financial category. I'm not talking about the ones on meth and living the middle of Pennsylvania and come around the corner looking like a vampire
Starting point is 00:45:01 fucked of zombie. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about, you know, just a never-ending supply of brand new, stain-free oven mitts, like that level. Insider trading level white. All right, recall, heard about this, new trucks ain't nothing compared to the old ones.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Ford recalls 870,000 F-150 trucks over unexpected parking brake activation. Wait a minute, that guy that I fucking follow, Start your engines on YouTube. Said if you bought a Ford truck, you fucked. And I was just like, ah, that's guys doing some chicken little shit. Oh no, I bought an F, but I bought the 250. Wait a second, what is this? That's no big deal. It's just a fucking parking brake slamming on when you fucking go in 80 miles an hour
Starting point is 00:46:06 to a boat, what could go wrong? Said Friday, it's, okay, Washington, Ford Motor Company said Friday, it's recalling 870,000 F-150 trucks in the United States because the risk of an unexpected activation of the electric parking brake due to a potential wiring issue. The recalls covered 2021 through 2023 model F-150 trucks according to a filing. Hey, I got one for you.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Is anybody did your directional work well on your truck and now all of a sudden it goes like 90 miles an hour when you turn it on? Inside the truck and go, and then you go outside to see if it's doing it and given somebody an epileptic seizure behind you but it isn't tailgate you know the the the the the brake light one in the front one is still going you know like blink bomb dink don't like that but inside the cab is going like super fucking fast
Starting point is 00:47:00 uh... i don't give a fuck i still like my Ford truck. Um, all right, well that's good to know. It's good to know that I have that issue coming up. Um, but all the recall is, is you just bring it in and they fix it for free before it ever happens. So I mean, they're kind of being responsible, no?
Starting point is 00:47:23 And I would say because it's electronic rather than just how it used to be, you just stepped on the thing and it was like a spring, some sort of pulley system. I have no idea. I'm not a mechanically inclined. The more sophisticated it is, the more weighted ads to the vehicle, the more things that can go wrong, the more fuel it burns, palm trees. Hey, Bill, I live in Los Angeles the more fuel it burns palm trees uh... hey bill i live in los angeles and i recently heard that palm trees have a
Starting point is 00:47:49 life expectancy of a hundred twenty five years and most of them were planted a hundred ten years ago which will lead to a mass dieoff of trees in the next fifteen years or so so is this something your land scapers have warned you about? They have not, but I didn't realize that, I only found out recently that palm trees are not indigenous to Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Well, listen, I think what will happen is in areas that people don't have money, which is becoming everything but the upper class at this point, as we slowly go into just halves and halves knots, and we destroy the middle class. Biden's America! I love when they do that. You can thank Donald Trump for that! Oh yeah, in fucking four years he did all of that.
Starting point is 00:48:42 It's been happening my entire life. Regardless of who is in office It's been a slow march to we get everything and you you should be lucky that something trickles down to you All right, I live in Los Angeles, Bob of a yeah, I I think you know Beverly Hills. They'll they'll just fly in They'll just go buy some full-size ones full-size ones and they'll just fly in, they'll just go buy some full size ones and they'll put them in there. That is amazing. 15 years, I'll be 70 years old people.
Starting point is 00:49:13 That's how fast life goes by. So right as I'm dying off, no. I actually think I'm gonna do all right in that department. We'll see. You never know. Daily Club, Billy Twilight Toes. I have no idea what that means, but I actually like that. Even if it's an insult. I remember Billy White shoes Johnson in the NFL. I could have been the white version of him. Billy Twilight Toes. Over the mill, over the mill,
Starting point is 00:49:43 a Billy Twilight Toes on days as slow as carrying the league with somehow. God bless his freckled already figures out a way to get open. Oh what he's doing as he understands the defense he's sitting down on the zone. Oh I thought he just turned around after they said after they hiked the ball. Billy Twilight Toes has 40 yards receiving and we're only in the third quarter. He could beat his best record, his best game of 41 yards. You ever think of joining a country club or an Elk's club or would you get sick of seeing the same people every day? I think, you know, what back when I was drinking I thought about doing that. I need to have to help out
Starting point is 00:50:24 with functions or be on duty for some work. So I think Elks or Rotary Club might not be for me. Country Club would be nice if there was no heavy pressure of high high high school ask drama between the rich people. I'm more of an Elk's club guy. I like that type of stuff. You know what I mean? I don't golf. So I feel like that's all they do with country clubs is everybody goes out and they golf.
Starting point is 00:50:58 Jesus, and just the sound. You know the sound of golf spikes on a sidewalk? That's the male version of like, Stiletto heels, where you just know, male, like when you hear that, that's like male bimbos. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh God, with the big fat fucking torsos, from just eating those sandwiches, giant fucking sandwiches, they all got the fucking heart attack body.
Starting point is 00:51:34 All right, AI. Bill, my biggest problem with AI is that it just came out of nowhere, right? No, I thought they've been working on for well there was no steady on ramp to having to hear those letters every fucking day uh... it's like the words streaming content and algorithm it feels like they were coming out of the shoot way too fast into the twenty
Starting point is 00:52:00 second century uh... i'm sure i'll be asking my kids how to use the AI in 15 years the way my old man asked me about the internet. And then I'll be asking his kid how to do, how to update the software on his robotic implants. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Yeah, I don't know why we need AI. I think it all comes down to just,
Starting point is 00:52:26 it's a combination of like, sociopaths at the top are sick of strikes in workers that have needs, because they wanna take everything. So if they have robots and that type of shit, they'll never go on strike. And then, but they don't know how to build them. But then you have nerds who don't know how to talk to women.
Starting point is 00:52:52 So the nerds are smart enough to know what the sociopaths are doing, but the temptation to actually build a hot chick that will fuck them so they can go to Comic Con and have a little fucking swagger in this step. It's just too tempting, so they go ahead and make them. Nerds are the fucking worst. Nerds make sociopaths dreams come true. You know, sociopaths come up with just insane shit, right? Like, can I have a prostitute that's also a nuclear weapon? And then the nerds are like, well, yeah, I mean, can I fuck it too? Not only during the, uh, the testing phase. All right, cool, I'll do it. Uh, Japan!
Starting point is 00:53:50 do it. Japan, Bilba Sensei. Thanks for all the last for the past decade plus. I've been listening since let it go in my high school days in Pasadena. I'm in my late 20s living in Japan. I heard in last week's episode that it is a bucket list place for you. It's really an amazing country. Something that you might personally find interesting is Japan's It's a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very The closest thing that I've seen to stand up comedy being performed in Japanese is when I went to Scotland, because it might as well have been, they might as well have been speaking Japanese because I couldn't understand a fucking word these guys were saying it was amazing. The guy I told this whole fucking story, I couldn't understand any of it until the his tag or his punchline was tough and up your weak hunt. That was the only part I understood. Tough and up your weak hunt. I once went to an assembly at my neighborhood middle school
Starting point is 00:54:59 and watched two class leaders perform a prescripted set making fun of relatable everyday things like popular teacher, like a popular teacher, or falling asleep in class. The style is called manzai and it's much different from American stand-up. Manzai is fast pace, scripted dialogue, and done-and-do-os. Oh my god, that's fascinating. Despite the language barrier, you might be interested in going to a show to see just how different it is and how, and yet how Japanese people go crazy for it. I would love to see that. I'm going to look it up now so I don't have to travel and actually get the experience.
Starting point is 00:55:44 No, I, um have to travel and actually get the experience. No, I... That's incredible. I would love to see. Lastly, I also know you're a sauna guy and that you like to support local businesses. You got to experience a stay at Raiyoken or traditional in for at least one night. You sleep on a tatami mat floor with futon mattress. Drink complimentary green tea, eat a hearty Japanese breakfast, dress in traditional bath robes and use the hot bath. Dude, I'm in. I just can't deal with the flight. Don't you have to fly like I said straight north up to like Santa Claus where the fucking
Starting point is 00:56:31 Globe is in this big around the waist and then you fly over the best case is to find a Roya-kin in a hot spring Onsen village and use that in a hot spring, onsen village, and use that Ryokens private bath. They are allowed to channel the town's natural hot spring water to the property. There are too many incredible onsen villages to choose from,
Starting point is 00:56:56 but I'm not going to butcher all these things. Ryud, Jin Murra, Kino Sakki, it sounds like a motorcycle company. And Takayama come to mind initially. I can see why people want to learn that language. Those are cool names. What do you live? Takayama. Takayama, motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:57:24 A lot of show guns and samarized used to vacation in these places so you'll be in good company. In addition to getting hit hard from COVID, these beautiful, locally owned small businesses are losing fashion to big resort and hotel chains. They're worth every penny to support. God damn these fucking corporations. Sayonara for now. Ciao for now, I get it. Sayonara for now.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Oh, that was a cute little thing. I see what you did there. All right, that is the podcast everyone. Go fuck yourselves. I will check in on you on Thursday. Go Red Socks. I will check in on you on Thursday. Go Red Socks!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.