Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 7-8-24

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

Bill rambles about Costner's new movie, a maple donut, and Jehovah's Witness. Zip Recruiter:   Try Zip Recruiter for free at www.ZipRecruiter.com/BURR  Liquid Death: Go to liquiddeath.com/BURR to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer.   

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, Monday, Monday, July, whatever the fuck it is. Is it the seventh? I'm going to say the seventh. Maybe it's the eighth. I don't know, man. I'm on vacation. It's the eighth. It's the eighth. I'm on vacation. I'm never coming back, man! Fuck that shit! Listen, I think I've worked long and hard enough where I can put my feet up now. That's not how it works, does it? The bankers want you to keep running on that fucking wheel. Oh, you're gonna stop? Is that what you're gonna do? You think you got enough? You think you got enough left? Huh? The trajectory of how long you're gonna live versus what you got in your

account? You think you could sit down? Go ahead. Good, freckles. Go over there and sit down. See what happens. Property tax, mortgage, interest. Go ahead, sit down. College educations. Home upkeep. Knee replacement. Fucking... Bootleg prostate reinserted. Throw in a pastry dish and fucking Istanbul.

You don't see that coming, do you? What'd you think, huh? What'd you think you pigmentently challenged bald son of a bitch? Did you really think that you worked long enough that you could take a break? Is that what you thought? You don't decide when you quit. We do. Sorry. That performance was what I think of that's what I think like bankers at the top. When they

look at people walking down the street. It's a little cynical little dark way to start right after the fucking birthday of my country, she's showing her age. You gotta admit, it's been some hard living. Almost, what is it, almost 350 years. Almost 350 years, doesn't look a day over a thousand. Yeah, a lot of shit, a lot of fucking shit. Think of all the shit this fucking country has gone through and somehow got involved in.

It's fucking unreal. Then you got other people like, you know, other countries taking after them, taking care of themselves, getting eight hours sleep. Iceland, Iceland looks great. When was the last time they got into a fucking bar fight when's the last time they stuck their nose in the middle of something Jesus fucking Christ we're like the town

gossip gotta get involved in every fucking skirmish around the goddamn planet well it's our job to protect you're making money off of it. Shut the fuck up with that bullshit Happy birthday to you And many more Anyway, so I'm recording this podcast on Sunday there Think I'm golf this podcast on Sunday there. Think I'm golfing tomorrow. Oh Jesus.

Am I slowly giving into that sport? Am I tapping into my inner white man? Gonna get out there, you know? Stick my hand in my slack pockets as I adjust my ball bag. Waiting for somebody else to see if they can go up and down. What is this, huh? Dog leg, right? Huh?

What's the length? Somebody take out their little fucking magnifying glass and stick it out. He says, what do you think I need, Jerry, a seventh? Oh, yeah, I was gonna say an eight, you know way been hitting today You know, you don't want too much club. Yep Happy birthday to you I did something awesome this weekend. I

Went I saw the new Kevin Costner movie Horizon And I gotta tell you this man, I fucking love that movie It's fantastic. It's a fantastic. It's an old-school Hollywood epic The way it is shot is gorgeous. The performances are Amazing. The actors are killing it I was trying to look up the names of the actors so I could give them like props and everything. But like everybody's IMDB page looks

like their picture looks like they're on friends. So I can't tell who the fuck they played. But like I did recognize some actors from when I was growing up. James Russo, one of my all time favorites. Guy's never given a bad performance. He's fucking amazing. And I first saw him in Beverly Hills Cop playing Axel Foley's friend. I remember he crushed that.

And I was like, who the fuck is this guy? And I was back then, you know, you go to the video store, see what movies they're in, you just watched all this stuff. I wanna say he even did a made for TV movie. Was he in the burning bed with Farrah Fawcett? I can't remember, but he's always been great. And then the guy from Henry's portrait of a serial killer,

Michael Rooker was in it. That's the first time I remember seeing him portrait of a serial killer. Michael Rooker was in it. That's the first time I remember seeing him way back in the day in 85 or 86 when that movie came out. But anyway, I don't want to ruin any of it, but I, look, I'll just tell you this. I will put that movie up against anything Kevin Costner has ever done. It's that fucking good Um, and what's awesome about it is there's a part two that comes out in august And I was intimidated by the running time like man, this fucking movie's three hours in one minute I finally put my kids to bed and I was

I was like fuck this i'm just i'm gonna go see this taking a night off some stand up I'm gonna go see this thing and I sat there and that movie went by in a blink of an eye It was fantastic. And then as it was over they were showing highlights of part two Which is like really like this old-school nod to cinema where I remember You know my parents when they were growing up talking about like how you'd go to the movies on like a Saturday morning and they would have these almost like the first like TV series, like before TV, they would show like these little short movies

and then there would be, you know, they would stop and continued next week so you'd get the kids to all go, you know, a big business thing or whatever. It was kind of a nod to that. So the next one comes out in August and I can't say enough good things about it. Like if you just like an old school western, okay, you know, gunfights, genocide, titties,

I mean, it's just all there, man. It's fucking fantastic. All right, I'm being a little silly here. I'm telling you, it's just a fucking great movie And I can see why critics have been giving it shit. It's just, you know, there's a certain kind of man that these critics say, they just don't want to see him anymore. But he still, it doesn't mean he doesn't exist.

So I don't know what their fucking problem is, but like, I got like, this is fucking game. Okay, when you get into business, it's not just doing the job. You also have to tow the company line. But if you don't, they just go at the knees of your shit. So like, it's getting all of this undue criticism. It's a fucking great movie.

Go see the goddamn thing. Okay, there you go. This this like, fucking two thumbs, two freckled thumbs up from me. Don't listen to that bullshit if anybody's having a problem with that. I mean, when we did the movie that I did, somebody fucking wrote this is barely a movie. That's what they wrote. This is barely much. What the fuck is it? Is it a house? It's a movie. You didn't like the movie. All right. But they said it's barely

movie. And what it was, was they didn't like, you know, this sort of this this war on guys, guys, like they don't want a guy going out being a guy, they want a guy to be their version of a guy. And it's just, if you do that they love it and they oh my it's so important and then here come the fucking awards but if you just do like what you want to do and it doesn't fall into what they want it to be then all of a sudden they just start fucking lying about it it's like those conservative assholes who lied about my show a few weeks ago just outright lied what I said. Part

of it was what I said, but it wasn't what I trashed liberals to get conservatives excited so I could make fun of them, so the liberals would be happy, so then I could trash the fucking liberals. That's what happened, but these cunts, they left out the conservative part. So everybody's got their fucking agenda. That's what I've learned. And everybody thinks everybody's a fucking snowflake. All these fucking right-wing, eh, you're a fucking snowflake. Talk about their guns. You wanna see people start crying

and pissing their pants like a bunch of pansies. You'll see, anytime you get close to what anybody holds near and dear, they turn into like the whole snowflake thing. And my favorite thing is somebody recently said, they said, are you familiar with the term? Snowflake and the person goes yes, that's a term sociopaths use to discredit empathy Fucking amazing is that right and both sides do it and they don't think that they're doing it. So anyway

I'm just saying it's a good fucking movie. And I don't know what these assholes and I don't know, I don't understand what what what the problem are people that like, you know, they like rooting against it because the guy put up his own money. It's like, why would you root? What are you rooting for streaming services? Is that what you're rooting for? I got it. I don't know. I don't get it. Like, I don't get I think just people, I think a lot of people don't have the balls

to try something in life, so when somebody does, they just fucking root against it. When I was a kid, those people were called cunts and I don't listen to them. And I didn't, I'm so glad that I didn't. And I went down to see the movie, it was fucking fantastic. Part two comes out in August.ust all right so if you like movies and you'd like to see people continue to make them you should go out and support this fucking

thing um all right there you go there you go i mean i haven't gone that hard for fucking stamps.com and they've been with me for 10 fucking years 12 years i don't know how long um anyway speaking of movies i got I got a couple to recommend to you uh the gods of time square and I am Cuba both on the criterion channel gods of time square I think I told you guys about I can't remember if I did or not it's like a documentary that somebody shot in like 92 93 and it's about uhers in Times Square. And it's like the editing in it is incredible, really incredible.

And it's just on an old handheld camcorder. Check that out. And then I Am Cuba was shot in 1964 in Cuba. It's in black and white. Heartbreaking, but gorgeous movie. All right, look at the little, you know what? I'm getting artsy. That's what's happening here.

I'm getting fucking artsy in my oldie years. Oh, by the way, how about those Boston Red Sox? Down three to one, come back and beat the Yankees. I was funny, I left a message for Buddymine as a Yankee fan. I'm going now, you know, I said, that's a wild one. I said, dude, if I was a bet man, I would fucking bury the Yankees today.

Steinbrenner is rolling over his grave, screaming about that loss some last night. And then fucking Yankees today. Steinbrenner is rolling over his grave, screaming about that loss some last night and then fucking Yankees came out on Saturday and beat us like 14 to I don't know what five or some shit. I don't know what happened today. But anyway, I'm behind in all that. Still a couple races behind in Moto GP. I watch them when I can because I got the kids but uh today um I went to breakfast and I ate like a cop you know I've been eyeballing this fucking um maple donut for months and I was saying I'm gonna have that thing when my special is complete and I'm just having one and then that's it and I'm not back on the sugar. And I finally gave in this morning.

I had a cup of coffee with that donut. And I'll tell you what, when you don't eat sugar for a while, you take a bite of it, you're like, God damn. I didn't finish it, but oh, it was glorious. Just to eat like a fucking kid again. And then I I immediately went to the gym and went to the gym. It was a dumpster down there. I put my finger in the back of my throat. I'm just telling you what you got to do out here in Hollywood. I made myself throw up. And

as I was throwing up, I heard a little kid in a high pitched voice said, Hey, dad, is that Bill Burr? And I looked up, and the dad had this sad look on his face, and he said, no, son, no, it isn't. And they walked away. And then I went into the gym. I had a great workout.

Are you making fun of bulimia? Yes! They never talk about the upside of bulimia. I mean, how easy is it to keep the, you can eat whatever you want. I mean, the ultimate diet where you can eat whatever the fuck you want. Listen, it's a fucking ugly disease. But the first five times you do it, it's got to be amazing. It's like I just ate a dozen maple donuts, polished it off with two lattes and an espresso. I went out back, hey, never happened. But then, you know, your stomach acid starts eating away to your esophageal lining there.

And then it's not seeing, start eating away at the enamel of your teeth. And then, you know, you can't chew your food and then you get ass cancer, then you die. That's the downside. Whatever. You know, get mad at me for trying to look at things through a positive lens. You know, if that's the worst you have on me then I say so be it.

So fucking be it. Um, have you ever ate so much that you thought about making yourself puke? I don't think I've ever done that. I've thought about wishing I could puke, but never actually thinking like I should make myself puke. I've only done that with like booze. You know? When my body was like reacting and I was like, alright, I get it, I get it! Just let me, can you just let me get outside? Can you just you know, we need to talk when you're so fucked up. It's like

you and your body become two different things. Like the body's taking over and you're like, all right, man, listen, I know I have not been steering the ship as the captain the way I should have. If you just let us get out to the deeper waters and not do this along the shore where everybody could see I would really appreciate it. And then you just yak right in front of the chick you had a fucking crush on and then you lie to yourself and said she never looked at me the same way because you don't have the courage to tell the truth that she never

looked at you to begin with and that's one to grow on god that was sad you know but what do you want when the jump off point is bulimia you know people who are against bulimia do they spell it b o o boo lemia boo not a good thing to do um i wouldn't put that past somebody i told you i went to something last year was called the heart and stroke ball. Why would you put ball after stroke? I don't know and I'm fucking childish and I'm just looking at it going like that was in a conference room. A bunch of people looked at that and no one ever put stroke heart and stroke ball. You know

heart and then stroke your balls. You know jer jerking off, get your heart rate going faster, which is good, you don't fight off heart disease. Like all of that shit was rolling around in my head when I looked at it. Gee Bill, what else in the world that doesn't really fucking matter you're upset with? I don't know. I don't know, what do you, what do you,

what do you, what do you, what do you fucking, what do you want from me? Anyway, so, I had a fucking great moment with my kids, right? I came home and I go in, I went out to breakfast, had my cop breakfast and I come home. I walk into my daughter's room, right? She has like this scowl on her face. And I'm like, what's the matter? It turned out, you know,

she was going swimming over a friend's house and the bathing suit that she wanted to wear was in the wash, so he had to wear this other one. So, you know, all right, I'm trying to navigate the female brain here. Can't get the fucking eyebrows to come back up. So finally I just go to her, hey, you know what? This is a true story. I said, you know, I was leaving the donut shop. You can't get the fucking eyebrows to come back up. So finally I just go to her, hey, you know what, this is a true story.

I said, you know, I was leaving the donut shop. There's a little boutique and I saw a really cool t-shirt that I want to buy you. And she just broke out into a grin. I said, you want to go look at that later? And she was like, yeah. So I was like, all right. I put out that fire. So then I walk into the hall and my son was supposed to be taking his nap, right?

And I come out, he's standing in the hallway, he's got a big grin on his face because he knows he's not supposed to be there. I go, what are you doing? What are you doing out of bed? He goes, he's like, Dad, I want a hug and a kiss. So I give him a hug and a kiss. And I go, I just go, I get the bat. What are you doing? We do it right now. Kissing on the head. He's laughing. And I just put him into his bed and I wrapped him up, looked like the sheet where it was just all the way up, like around his neck, you know what I mean? Like all cuddled up and he was dying laughing.

And I was pretending to be upset that he had gotten up. And then I was just like, all right, but you have to stay in bed, okay? He goes, all right. I said, night, night. He goes, night, night. And he, big grin on his face. When he smiles, he's got my smile, man.

It's amazing. And I walked out and uh i was like this fucking i get the whole fucking summer off to do that you know which is why i'm gonna make myself stop throwing up before i go to the gym Alright, this is what I do, okay? Because for some reason, I was just picturing somebody, if they heard an excerpt of this podcast, getting upset about me joking about this shit. Like I really, you know, don't care if somebody has bulimia. Obviously I do, but they go, oh my God, how could you be like this?

So then what you do is you just keep doing the joke You just keep doing the joke I don't know I would somebody came at me about that ago Do you really think my podcast is the reason why that person's puking they were puking before I fucking did the podcast? You know you know her I don't know her. What the fuck did you do? Huh? You hairy legged so-and-so,

get out of my face with your fucking, where are your other six fucking legs? That's what I always see when I see women with hairy legs. You know what I mean? They're like part spider. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. But for some reason you can't, you know, I would never say that to them, but like... Oh would I? Well if they heckled me I would.

Um... Anyway, whatever. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fuck it, I'm in a good mood. What do you want from me? When I'm done with this, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fucking, I'm in a good mood. What do you want from me? When I'm done with this, I'm gonna watch a movie with my kids and when they go to bed, I'm gonna go fucking play a little bit of drums. Old Billy Vacation! I ain't coming back, man. I ain't coming back.

I'll do the podcast. I will do this podcast and I will fucking hang in there. That'll be my connection to you people. All right But if you think I'm going back out there man, I got out Like Michael Corleone, I am out. I have no fuck. Well, I got a guy got three dates coming up But once I once those are done, dude, I am fucking done. I don't have any fucking stand-up dates on the books. I'm sitting right here in this fucking chair. This is what I'm doing.

I got my little stereo with my fucking records. I'm just gonna stay in my own little world and block it all out and fucking not pay attention and ignore the fact that my choice once again for leader of this country is these two crazy old guys again. That for some reason people are passionate behind them. Okay if they were in your family you wouldn't be listening to them. Oh grandpa to him. Oh, grandpa. Let somebody young carve the turkey sit down. What are you doing? You're going to hurt you're gonna break your hip again. Anyway, I don't have any fucking

solutions. I like how I just said that like, that's why you guys listen to this fucking podcast because you're you want some sort of solution. I have a solution, bury your head in the fucking sand and act like it's not happening. You owe that to yourself at least one day of the week. Just act like everything's going great. Just have a stupid smile on your face, okay? And just, you know, do it is whatever it is that you got to do to fucking get through it. Go to a movie by yourself. You'll have a good time. All right, let's do a, let's do a remin, what do you

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That's liquid death dot com slash burr liquid death dot com slash burr okay and with that we have turned the corner we have turned the corner uh to now now it's your guys turn to speak i've talked about the benefits of bulimia enough today what if if it's like, you know, it's like cigars. If you have one a month, maybe it's not bad. Is there a world where maybe once a month, just to keep yourself level, you just go out and yak in a parking lot? I don't know. Listen, people, I'm not saying I have any of the answers. I'm just trying to open a dialogue. All right, Jehovah's Witness girlfriend

from a lady. All right, to get you guys caught up. This is like Kevin Costner. It's a two-parter. To get you caught up now. Last week this guy wrote in and he said that he had met this woman. She was fantastic. He loved her. Everything was great, but she's a Jehovah's Witness. She said she wasn't practicing, but now she was saying that if they get married and they have kids that Jehovah's Witnesses do not recognize any holidays including birthdays and this guy that that bumped him because he Comes from some other stupid thing where you got to buy your wife something every other fucking month Fucking idiot the guys he sees free

All you got to do is pretend to believe in whoever the fuck Jehovah is and now you don't have to get her a birthday gift? That's fantastic! Is that why all those Jehovah's Witness women look so fucking miserable? Walking around with no makeup, they get their feet beaten if they talk out of turn because the guy has nine wives? Is that what a Jehovah's Witness is? I don't know what Jehovah's Witness is. I have no idea what they are. All I know is there's not a door they haven't knocked on.

Hey Billy Baru, regarding the guy long distancing with his Jehovah's will. That's right. It was also a long distance relay. Who can't fall in love with somebody from afar? Jesus Christ. That's the difference between wanting to join the military and actually fighting in a war. You know sometimes it works out. Sometimes you're like what was I thinking? Regarding the guy long distancing with his Jehovah's Witness girl, we'll call the JW girl. He needs to back way up.

Okay, here we go. I can speak to this because I was raised as a JW. This person is so damaged they won't even say it. And my family goes back several generations in that religion. Did they go back to Jehovah? Was he the guy that said he had a dream after taking mushrooms that he was Jehovah and now he had to have sex with everybody on the plane? It's usually how it works.

I walked away from it in my late 20s. Well, that's a pretty good religion if you can walk away. Usually with these smaller ones ones you have to run away because you can walk away from being a Catholic. They don't give a fuck. That's like canceling a Netflix subscription. They don't give a shit. They have a zillion people.

But you know, you walk away from Quibi. I mean, you got to like, you know, there's phone calls and there's all kinds of shit that has to be made there. Anyway, I walked away from it in my late 20s, but it wasn't easy Until I have just pictured invasion of the body snatches where she starts walking quicker and so do they But it wasn't easy until I had built a totally new life away from it I'm 55 now my dad still thinks he can get me to come back Now my dad still thinks he can get me to come back. With JWs, there is no half in half out.

At one point I was like her, dabbling around the outside the boundaries, but I had to move a day's drive away to really be able to get away from the pressure family and other congregation members put on you. Even when I ended a relationship with a woman who was the love of my life because I didn't want to disappoint my folks. Oh, oh, you're gay. So you want to have a, you know, you want to go, what did you want to go live your life and find love?

How dare you? Anyway, if she is saying she grew up in the religion and was kind it was kind of weird But i'm out now and my folks are cool with it. That would be great But if she's still active in congregation attendance and her folks are deep into it. This is not good They will make her life miserable in attempt in an attempt to air quote save her Feels like one of those mini series my wife likes to watch late at night. You know, she watches some fucking,

what the fuck were we watching last night? One of those ones, it was a real estate agent. She was showing a house and she was taking quick pictures cause she didn't feel safe and then she was missing. this is like what she watches right before we go to bed anyway the other possibility is that she is like my first wife who was a nice cute jw girl who turned out to be an attention dig digging whore it's gold digging whore or an attention whore. This is an attention digging whore. So she's a gold digger and an attention whore. Jesus. That broke my heart and broke up our family. Alright so Jehovah's Witnesses are cool

with you being gay. Alright. Well that's one for them. Fortunately I got the woman who was the true love of my life back 13 years ago. Well that ended abruptly. Love the pods. go adore yourself. Well, I'm very happy for you. It's got to be hard to walk away from your family, come out as being gay, have to leave a cult, lose the love of your life and get them back. That's like a fucking Marvel series.

Um, all right. Well, that was, and you were nice enough to write in and give some advice because I didn't know what to tell that guy I don't know what the dynamics of it is, but this is this person's perspective So the person who wrote in last week, I hope this helps you to make the right decision If I was dating a woman that was a Jehovah's Witness and she said she was getting out of it and then she wasn't out of it But I was already married to her her I would definitely have fun with it. Anytime her parents came over as they walked up the walk I'd have the open

window and I'd be like Jehovah's! Hey don't forget to knock come on you're like a vampire vampire has to be invited in you guys have to knock. Come on. You're like a vampire. Vampire has to be invited in. You guys have to knock or you're no longer Jehovah's Witnesses. Hey, who do you think would win in a fight to the death? Jehovah or Jesus? They're both men. Both their names start with J. You know?

What's your guy rocking? Mine has a fucking, I don't know what you would call it, a man dress and occasionally walks around in a loincloth. Your guy ever get tortured to death? Because mine did. Mine got tortured to death and you know what? He fucking came back after three days. Can you say that about Jehovah?

I get into like an Aquaman Superman fucking battle with him. So this Jehovah guy, what now? What is, I always act like I forgot. Now what is he? Is he, I know heroin's not good. What about Molly? Is it Jehovah's Witness can you go to a comic-con or is that out can you go to a burning bush or whatever the fuck it's

called out there what's what's that stupid concert out there in the desert everybody goes out in the OD in the Sun Coach? What does Jehovah think about Coachella? In secular music? It's Jehovah, I don't know, that's so religious, I don't know anything about mobile, none of us are surprised, you didn't sound too fucking educated on it. All right, relax over there. Okay, Jesus

All right off Instagram Hey Billy phone addict. Oh Jesus. There's never been a truer description of me greetings from Cameroon Cameroon right off the coast of Rhode Island. I know my geography. I noticed you post a lot on Instagram, but also said you quit looking at your phone. Which is it? Do you read books anymore? Have you ever thought about audiobooks? It seems like you're on it more than my teenager. Kidding.

I would love for you to do a show here and make jokes about the turnstile of Europeans, Asian and American companies who try to take control of our government. I have to be on Instagram because of the business I'm in. What I do is when I'm doing it right, is I only spend like 20 minutes, I see some cool videos, I post them on my story I rarely post I post it for the first time on Instagram when I am in a bad place I am on it every day for hours so right now I'm in a good place I finished this Lee Marvin autobiography and now I'm reading this book about health and eating right and

everything and somebody got at me for my birthday last year and it was a really thick book and I'm thick-headed so I was intimidated by it I thought I was gonna be like well you're glucose and you have good good fucking sugars and bad sugars and there's good glass well bad glass well if you combine this with this and five handfuls of nuts I was like, I don't wanna read math and food and then I read it and it's like really dumbed down for someone like me, so that's the book I've been reading. Anyway, European, Asian and American companies

who try to take control of our government. Like dude, isn't it unfucking believable just how politicians all around the world are just slaves to fucking corporations and then they just got us all yelling at each other? Just so they can get a bigger fucking pool. That's what kills me is what is the end game? It's just making more money. That's all you give a fuck about. I'm telling you like what if the next Hitler comes along and he's actually a great guy? You know, he makes Adolf an honorable name

again, and this time, rather than exterminating people because of their race, religion, sexuality, or whatever, he just exterminates sociopaths. Wouldn't that be fucking incredible? Like heads of corporations, pieces of shit, scumbag. Like, just out of curiosity, out of the seven billion people on the planet, if he only left the good Hitler, if he only left the good Hitler if he only left the people that were actually gonna do right by humanity how many of us would be left do you think that you make the cut if you said yes do you think that

that is because that's the truth or because you have a delusional version of yourself? And the fucking mind fuck of being a human being is you have no idea what that answer is. Because the reality is you can only know yourself so well because it's impossible for you as a person to have to observe yourself To be out to have an outside perspective you could be open to it But you're also the gatekeeper of what information you choose to believe or not believe

And then also knowing that the person observing you also might be out of their fucking mind. I mean, for me, that was pretty deep. I like to think so. Fuck you. It's all right for me to feel smart every once in a while, isn't it? And when I say fuck you, I'm not talking about, you know, any of you.

I'm just talking to people I grew up with. It's never you guys. I don't even think about you. I'm just fucking sitting here talking to myself. I just decided to record it, that's all. All right, offense, all right, I read that one. All right, the Grateful Dead. Old Billy Albinoino mushroom head.

I'll tell you my neck is starting to look like the underside of a mushroom. I'm not going to fucking lie to you. I noticed that the great Andrew Thamelis played some Grateful Dead at the end of the Thursday afternoon podcast this past week and it got me wondering about how much you know about them. I don't know anything about that band other than there's a song that they wrote where there's lyrics in it that that spoke to me. No, they really had a profound effect on me.

I don't know what the name of the song is, but it was talking about doing what you wanna do in life. And one of the lines was, it said, and if you go and no one should follow, that path was meant for your steps alone. So that made me let go of results. And I realized that the results of what I did was not as important as me doing what I want to do.

You know, obviously mine is hurting somebody. But like, you know, when you first get into the business that I'm in, you have no idea what you're doing. So there's this big thing to look at what other people are doing and be like, oh, they did that and that works. Should I also be doing that? They are wearing that shirt. Is that the shirt you need to wear for good things to happen?

And you do that. Then after a while, you fail enough doing other people's shit. You finally are like, you know what, I I'm just gonna do what the fuck I do and if people like it they like it if they don't at least I did what I wanted to do and once I did that you know things started to happen for me in a very slowly way slow way but they have it's only been 32 years to get here right but that line i remember um and i did see the grateful dead in 1989 and living color opened up for them i do remember that no living color opened up for the rolling stones. I saw them on the Steel Wheels Tour. That summer I saw the Grateful Dead, I saw the Who, and I saw the Rolling Stones. Anyway

so this person continues on. With your adventures over the last few years with mushrooms and more open-mindedness man. I like that they put that in like a tad like italics, whatever you say italicized man Attitude towards psychedelics I think you could really start to properly appreciate the Grateful Dead and the way their music largely spawned from the psychedelic experiences Okay, but there's also spawn from like LSD, which was scientific. Shit, so I don't know that's when back people had like bad trips.

Right? Or is that just school? Film strips. I have no idea. Yes, I just did say film strips. I'm that old. There is an amazing documentary on Amazon on the dead. Oh, I would like to see that that gives you good insights that I think you would really enjoy. Thank you. I'd love to see that. Maybe you might even by the way, you realize Jerry Garcia is dead.

I mean, they the Grateful Dead have been dead since 2004, right? Maybe you might be interested in a new form of psychedelic and what all the rage was about back in the 60s. I can only speak for myself, but when I was at the lowest point in my life and desperate for some sort of inspirational beauty in life, I took my first LSD trip and played a Grateful Dead show. And the experience had a profound effect on me, like it has done for many. I imagine, oh, you put on a Grateful Dead show. You said you played it like you opened for them.

I think you mean you put on one of their albums. Well, that's awesome. I'm okay, look at that. I shit on LSD and it saved your life. All right, people, bulimia and LSD, you know, these are new perspectives that we're looking at. Anyway, I loved seeing you at the Moor a few weeks ago. I was up in this steaming hot nosebleed seats over there.

Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I didn't realize that venue didn't have fucking air conditioning. Hope the family is well and go fuck yourself. All right. Well, you know what? I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to, you know, well into my 50s, slide into 60 over here.

56 years old, I fuck it. I'm gonna finally take some shit and listen to that band. I will get by. That's the only song I know. And that other one. And if you go, no one should follow And that other one and if you go no one should follow That path was left that was met for your steps alone La la da da and they played that song when I saw him in 89 and all these fucking people were freaking out I will tell you this I went to that show and what the overwhelming vibe was it was very peaceful Everybody was kind of like hey hey man, I'm alright with you man, I like you too man. It was like really fucking, you know, but granted I was only there for three hours. Imagine if you followed them around the country, you know, things

went a little sideways. Somebody starts making tie-dye shirts that sell better than somebody else's tie-dye shirts, and all of a sudden, you got a war, man. Whose side are you on, man? All right, hypothetical. Billy Boo's bag. What are you talking about? Former boozer. I haven't drank in almost six years. I had a dream the other night that I took a drink.

I was like, why did I do that? I just fucked this up. And I was like, oh my god, that's fucking delicious. And then I made myself throw up. Hypothetically, you're going to start drinking again. All right. How would you go off the wagon and have that first drink? Yeah, you think I haven't thought about this Is this in this hypothetical money and time are not factors? All right a pine at Guinness at a pub in Ireland. Oh do I need to go to BC and D a Glass of wine or a cocktail at a cafe in France?

Oh, you got me in France I don't go to France to booze. I Wouldn't go there I go to there to irritate them with my attempt at their language See a whiskey of your choice and a cigar bar paired with your favorite stick. Nah, I bottomed out there. I don't want to go back to that. D. Cheap American beer at a sports game of your choosing or at a tailgate for se- oh, fucking, pint of Guinness at a pub in Ireland. And not in Dublin, either. Maybe out in Galway, down in Laughlin. Those are the two places I've been like outside of like Dublin And I loved Belfast too, but like Dublin there was just too many fucking

Me there I Liked being outside of that place. I didn't know where to go. I really you got do it You got to go to temple bar be like, you gotta do it, you gotta go to Temple Bar. What, so I can run into you? I'm going to, I can fucking talk to you here. Yeah, this is what I would actually do. I would probably, when my daughter turns 21, if she wanted to have a drink,

I would, you know, I would sip on something I'll be honest with you I don't I don't miss it because like I like having a beer now like that's what I would do but like the the alcohol free beers that they make they got it down so ridiculously. Like I had that fucking the Sam Adams one, whatever the hell that one is, the Becks one is amazing. Everybody has that Heineken Zero. I'm not into that. I didn't like Heineken when I drank. So I'm not into that one. But there's some really fucking good ones. I guess like some IPA ones and all it is, is it's like I think it's just hop flavored Soda water so it tastes just like it so once you get past the mind fuck of like where's the buzz after this? It's just the taste

I Really enjoy it anyway this person continues as a bonus if none of these sound like they hit the spot make up your own Hypothetical perfect scenario for falling off the wagon hypothetically, you have no commitment in unlimited free time and money. All right, well, let's do something better than the dad answer. All right. If I think I would go motel room like a good cohen brother movie motel in the middle of nowhere no serial killers nobody coming in with that cow thing that they put to my forehead and fucking you know blow my brains out none of that shit. I got the door open I Got a ballgame on I'm by myself After the ballgame I'm watching a classic movie and

During the baseball game I'm drinking beer and I would go Miller High Life and Then when I got to the movie I would watch one of the guys that I loved growing up one of those fucking movies you know which is Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, Teli Savalas, Clint Eastwood, one of those fucking movies, Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, something like that. And that's when I would switch to bourbon and I would get this stuff, Kentucky Owl, the last alcohol I ever had. It's fucking delicious.

And I would pour three like ridiculously tall ones with a giant square ice cube I'll tell you I'm getting thirsty giant fucking square ice cube in it and I would Just sit there by myself and I would have my old pickup truck and I would have an Indian motorcycle, the Chieftain, next to it and when I got good and drunk I would get on that motorcycle at night and I would fucking open it up with no helmet on and end my life. I'm kidding.

I would wear a helmet. Anyways, what that really was, the end of that with the truck and the motorcycle is like that thing you have as a dad when you get overwhelmed with the responsibility of having a family and you start thinking about what would I be if I wasn't married with all this responsibility?

And then you're always like some sort of badass out on the road with a killer truck and a fucking motorcycle. And the reality is you'd be living in a fucking studio or a one bedroom on a fucking futon like I was before I met my life, being lonely as hell, wondering when the love of my life was gonna come knocking on the door. So anyways, that's what I would do.

I would, yeah, I'd watch a fucking baseball game and just be knocking back. Yeah, good cheap American beer, Mill of High Life in the glass bottles, nothing better. And then, yeah, I would watch a great movie. Now what would the movie be? This is a fun fucking game. You can't do this with heroin addicts, right? What are they going to pick the corner they want to nod off on, you know?

They don't do anything. But that's the good thing about booze, is like you get fucked up and you can just go around hurting people with your comments. And then, what do you do you throw up? movie recommendation Billy blockbuster I Just watched the last stop in Yuma County. It has a fantastic ensemble cast which includes Richard break Your scene partner from the Mandalorian get out of here brown ass. I loved how he said that brown ass The whole movie takes place at a gas station and

Diner in Yuma Arizona in the 70s dude. I'm fucking in it has a great plot great cast and is full of awesome 70s cars seems like would be your kind of thing check it out if you get a chance. I'm fucking all over it. That is everything I love in a movie. An amazing actor, Richard Brake. It takes place in the 70s. There's fucking cars. I'm in, I'm in.

All right, Lee Marvin documentary. You guys are hooking me up this week. Lee Marvin documentary. Hey Bill, I heard you talking about Lee Movid on the Thursday show. You should check out the documentary on his movie Point Blank. All right, I am trying to click on it,

but I have it in airplane mode. So no one will disturb me when I talk about puking from bulimia. Bool. Somebody, a punk band had to be Amy something and the fucking bulimix and they all yak like two songs in I mean that would be fucking You know performance art, but you know still there's something to be said for it, right? All right. Hang on a second. What do we got here?

Celebrities shutting down disrespectful interviewers. What is this? You should check out this doc. You know what I always fucking forget is that when you go online, when I click on something that shuts off my recorder. All right. So anyways, it's on YouTube. Just look up Lee Marvin point blank documentary.

I'm going to check that out. I appreciate the hookup. I apologize for the difficult edit. You know, it's just gonna be bad. It's gonna cut out. I'm gonna come back on. Well, you just experienced it, right? Full disclosure.

Oh, the person said, I made it. Maybe you've seen my Van Halen documentaries. Thanks for all the laughs. All right. Well, you, dude, you're making documentaries on Lee Marvin my Van Halen documentaries. Thanks for all the laughs. All right, well, dude, you're making documentaries on Lee Marvin and Van Halen. Yeah, you know, you're my kind of filmmaker. I will definitely check those out. All right, and with that, with that, everybody,

that's the podcast for this week. I'm old Billy No Sugar. I'm back on it. You know I did legs and eggs today. It's always gonna be legs and eggs Goes back to when I was still living in New England and the foxy ladies strip club Shout out to all the ladies the lovely ladies down there in Rhode Island They used to have this thing called legs and eggs where you could go down there and get breakfast and watch somebody show you their Clam while you eat your scrambled eggs and the fucking guy used to whisper on the advertisement he like it's on the fucking radio like your

wife couldn't hear that hey guys come on down to the foxy lady for legs and eggs this Thursday who the fuck I'll tell you right now there's a lot of shit I would do in my lifetime there's a lot of shit that I now. There's a lot of shit I would do in my lifetime. There's a lot of shit that I've done. There's a lot of shit I'd yet to fucking do, but I'll tell you something I've never done, don't want to do, and never will do. I am never purchasing food and consuming it in a titty bar or anywhere else, okay? Those two things should always be separated. We're either going to a restaurant

or we are participating in human trafficking, one or the other. I will tell you this right now, if I ever did eat in a titty bar, I would put all of bulimia to shame. Coming to the stage, what? I would fucking yak that shit up faster than you could say I'm not getting vaccinated. Anyway, that is the podcast. Thank you to everybody for listening.

Thank you for being seen and blah blah blah blah blue but do that's it I'm on vacation although I better start doing some spots cuz I gotta go up to Oh Canada we lost the cop again we couldn't beat a team that plays in in Florida if you told your dad 40 years ago that this would happen to you he disowned you and fuck can tell you I don't know I don't know you can't have it more maple syrup hmm build a better highway from Edmonton to Vancouver so I can drive through your Rockies and it won't take four fucking days Build a better highway so I won't take four fucking days. All right. Sorry. All right. Go fuck yourselves I'll check I'll check it on ya. I shut it off by accident on Thursday