Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 7-9-18

Episode Date: July 9, 2018

Bill rambles about World Cup, 'roaring' crowds, and ex-presidents.

Hey what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, July 9th. 2018 when a man loves a woman. He'll do some dumb shit like get her a ring. Then all of a sudden he's married. He's like what did I do? Then he will say are you mad at me? She'll just shake her head and say no. And then she'll treat you like shit for the next five days. What's going on? It never ends people. Never ends. How are you? What's going on? I'm out here in a heat wave. I'm still getting over this fucking abola that I caught. I don't know what I have. It's just lingering. I'm all congested. Don't take a towel, put it over your head and then sit behind your car and have somebody start it up. Make sure you have a lemon in your mouth. That's what my fucking day has been like for the last eight days. It's fucking hilarious. All these people who aren't pharmacists.

All of these people who've never invented anything in their life and I mean even just some dumb shit like you take some wire and you fucking twist it and then you bend it and it's like look for 1995 it's your very own back itcher, right? Back massager. Yeah, they've all been telling me how to fucking cure this shit and it's just like okay, all right, I'll try that. What'd you say Zink? The man over there in the plaid shirt says Zink, what'd you say you? Vitamin D. You say Vitamin D. Vitamin C. I feel like I'm on a game show, right? When you're on the price is right and everybody's yelling out a price like a different number and the person's looking with their deer in the headlights. That's what it's like when you have a fucking cold. By the way, me and my wife, who isn't mad at me, who isn't not not talking to me but isn't actually really chatty either, you know? Do you know how you get them out of that mood? You can't say it out loud. You can't say, you know what, I don't even give a shit anymore at this point. I've gone through enough hours of torture here. What you do is you just think, you know what, I don't give a fuck. And they are so smart, they sense the second you do that and then immediately they want to sit down and talk about it. Because once you don't give a fuck, the game's over, okay? And they don't want you to settle into not giving a fuck because then you won't be able to listen to their lecture and nod and go, okay, yes, I will work on that. Okay, you know what, I didn't know that. Oh, do I do that? Is that what I do? Wow, it's so great to have somebody outside myself to let me know what it is that I'm doing.

You know what, you're like a moon, like just going around my fucking the planet of my head observing. Not a moon, honey, maybe be like an alien aircraft, you know, of higher intelligence. Does that make you feel better? Anyways, it was ungodly fucking hot, ungodly. It was the hottest it's ever been. It was like Palm Desert out here. It was 109 fucking degrees on Friday and I'm not, I'm not even talking about in the valley. Maybe that was the valley. I don't know what it was, but it was like you were, it was like, I felt like I was standing inside a dryer. And I've used that reference a lot, but this time it's just like, oh yeah, I could dry my clothes in this. You know, by the way, those idiots who like, man, you can fucking fry an egg on a sidewalk, you could probably do that when it's like 80 degrees out. You know what I mean? It'd be like frying it on low. I don't know what it would be like me, you know, but like on Friday when it was 109 degrees out at around two in the afternoon, like your shit would be over medium before you even flipped it. And you wouldn't have to season it because of all the rock salt, right? For those of you back east. And so the inevitable happens is there's then after human beings in their own way have made it, I don't know how many degrees hotter, but we have made it hotter. I think even scientists that wear red coats or red ties, even they have been like, you know, we're kind of having an effect on the environment.

I mean, if gypsy moth caterpillars have to be stopped, you know what about human beings? I mean, say what you want about gypsy moth caterpillars, you know, they, they don't make, you know, nuclear waste. They've never, you know, invested in plastics. You know, they're pretty green for what it is that they do, right? And they are part of nature. So they probably really don't need to be stopped by an outside force like us. We're stopping them for our own fucking survival. And the problem is his mother nature up until this point has been bringing a knife to a gunfight with like fucking gypsy moth caterpillars and some bullshit like that. And I think now she's realizing that she needs to go down to the local fucking, what do you call the place? You go down to the place where there's always like a bad keyboard in the fucking window pawn shop. You go down to the pawn shop, she's going to get herself a fucking heater, a boner, boner, a burner, whatever the fuck you call them.

I don't fucking boner. She's going to come out with a fucking dick, man. She's going to, she's going to do a reverse Bruce. She's going to fuck all of us in the ass with the weather. I think that that's what I was trying to say. I have no idea. But all I know was, you know, it was fucking insane. So the inevitable happens is then there's a power search. There was like nobody on the roads. Like that's how fucking hot it was. Everybody was just staying inside, sitting in air conditioning, like I got and not fucking guy out there. And then we all after making it hotter, you know, I'm not saying it wouldn't be 104 degrees or whatever. I don't even know if we made it five degrees hot or whatever. But we sit inside and we don't get to feel, we don't feel the effects of what the fuck we're doing. It's like buying a shirt, you know what I mean? You don't see the fucking eight year old that's sewed it together. You're like, God, does this shirt make me look good? Right? It's like it's painless. So now we're all sitting there in the AC and inevitably we don't have enough power.

So now they have to have a blackout. Now where are they going to do it? Okay. Now I already gave it away. Okay, the keyword here is blackout black would be the keyword. You know, I don't even know where they did it, but I know they didn't fucking go. Well, we have to shut down the grid somewhere. Where should we shut it down? Should we shut it down in Beverly Hills or fucking Bel Air or these people with their fucking infinity pools that fall off into the goddamn ocean with their panoramic views? You can literally see the roundness of the planet. You know, these people with the MTV crib stock fucking refrigerators, the giant cabin footprint or now, now those people fund our campaigns. Let's fucking let's fucking go down here to these people who can barely rub two fucking nickels together. We'll shut down their shit. It's just an evil fucking world man. And oddly enough, this weekend, as I sat in my air conditioned house, you know, not in Beverly Hills, but not in the hood either. You know what I mean? Like if I was on a chessboard, I wouldn't be a pawn, but I wouldn't be in the castle either. You know, I don't think I'd be the horse. I wouldn't be a bishop. I think I'd be a rook, you know, basic forward sideways, you know, white guy, no lateral fucking movement.

If I went to diagonal, I'd fucking trip over myself or try to run a fucking iterant outright route like a fucking horse. I just don't think I'd make it, you know, Of course, the fucking broad can do whatever she wants, right? Got all the goddamn power. What the fucking king do just sitting there backing up? Whoa, whoa. Hey guys, surround me. She's pissed. She's pissed. Well, she said she's not pissed, but she's not talking to me. She is, but you know what I mean? It's really quick and serviceable conversation. Would you like some dinner? Okay, it's ready. Salmon. Nice talking to you. Nothing. Anyways, they should have like, this is such a hacky idea, but they should literally, I wish they had right now if they had like a fucking, like a relation. Somebody must have done a bit like this, like you have like a relationship meteorologist. You know what I mean?

That could give you a five day fucking forecast. Let you know what kind of coat to wear basically what kind of what kind of shit am I going to try to avoid so I don't step into it. You know what I mean? So anyways, I'm in the fucking house, right? And, you know, I got the kid now and she's getting bigger and eventually she's going to need her own room. All right. And I have all and I don't even have a lot of shit, but I have all I have a lot of shit. I didn't think I had a lot of shit. I don't have a lot of furniture, but I have a lot of shit. You know, just over the years going on the road, buying a little thing here, buying a little thing there, fan giving you something, the venue giving you something. And all of a sudden you just got a bunch of shit. And then what happens is if enough time goes by.

I don't know. I'm sentimental. I start to develop feelings for it and it's hard to get rid of it. Well, I don't have a choice now, people. So in the near future, I'm going to I am going to have a massive, massive fucking giveaway of memorabilia and shit and old drum stuff. And like, you know, I try to give some people my old drum magazines and just nobody wanted them. All these fucking young kids alike, you know, I stick it on the phone, bro. You know, I just go to fucking, I can read this on my phone. Like, like, I'm, I don't even know what, like, you think I was handed them like a hammer and a chisel in a rock and be like, you want to drop pictures with this? So I didn't feel too bad because they're made out of paper, although I'm sure the ink is bad for the environment, but I put like 20 years of all of these fucking magazines. That I saved, like I was going to go back and peruse through two decades of fucking drum magazines.

And I kept some of them, you know, the John Theodors, the fucking Nico McBrain, the fucking Steve Jordan, you know, all the way back, all the drummers that I fucking love, right? Tommy Lee, you know, but then, you know, the latest ones were the easiest ones to get rid of because I'm an old man and I probably didn't know a lot of those players, although I probably should. But, you know, I don't know, I just wish I could go back in time and not buy anything. You know, Jimmy the Jent, don't, what the fuck did I say? Don't buy anything, you know, as much as he was a murderous psychopath, he was very environmentally conscious in that part of Goodfellas, you know. So anyways, just giving you guys a heads up. I got it all out in front of me here. I got it all laid out. And my wife, who's not mad at me, is, you know, she was like, why don't you get like a storage shed, you know, you like this stuff. And it's like, I'm not fucking doing that. I'm not doing that. Like, whenever I see those places, I get like, I have a fucking almost a physical reaction to them when I see a storage facility. And it's the second I did that before, I'm not fucking doing that. Then you have to go back and like check in on your stuff. It's like your stuff went to jail.

And then, you know, you can just fucking, hang on a second, I gotta fucking text this guy back. There's no way for me to continue talking. Call you in in a 45 minute. Um, anyways, this just, then you get you doing the George Carlin bit, you just have shit just spread out all over the fucking world. And it's just like, if there's not like, fuck, shut up. All right, if there's not room enough for it in your house, like we have more rooms that could be bedrooms and people here. Okay, it's just me want my wife and my daughter. So there's no fucking reason why there should be no room other than the fact that we just have too much shit. And I'm not throwing it out. I threw out the magazines because they made out of paper and I know everybody's gonna give me shit about the ink, but I'm really trying to fucking think about where this stuff is going to end up. Okay, and I don't know. So I'm going to try to like, you know, I figured if I could just kick some of this shit, if you guys want it, you know, I'll just fucking give the stuff away or whatever.

I hope some people aren't going to get mad because some of the stuff is like shit that venues have given me, you know, some sports jerseys with my name on the back of them and stuff, which is fucking cool or whatever. But like, you know, I'm not going to I never wore it. And I always appreciated the gesture, but I just took it and I put it in a box. And then I just started piling these fucking things up. And I don't have any more fucking room. I don't know what to do with them. So my new fucking thing from here on out, 50 fucking years old is Jimmy the Gent. I'm not fucking buying anything. I'm not buying anything, you know, and I'm trying to get my wife on the same fucking page, but you know, you know, that's not working. You know what I mean? Jesus Christ. Telling her not to go on Amazon is like her telling me not to get shitfaced on a Tuesday. I mean, it's just not happening. By the way, speaking of drinking, I haven't drank. You wouldn't know it from my voice. I sound like shit, but I haven't drank since the end of June. And that's all it's so fucked up. It's so fucked up. It's just like food. I have the same relationship with food that I have with booze that all I do is I just fucking walk away for a few days. What the fuck am I doing?

And when I see food walking away, it's like sugar and shit and bad food and I start eating well. And then all of a sudden, if I look at bad food, it's like, I don't want to fucking eat that. I don't want to feel that way. And the same thing with booze, like, you know, when I'm drinking and I see a bottle of booze, I swear to God, it's like, you know, it's back lit at the bar. I mean, it just looks like you're drinking life. It just looks golden, you know, so inviting. And then when I just stopped drinking, I just looked at it. I'm like, Jesus, I don't want to fuck it. I don't mess with that shit. Okay, what the fuck did I do now? Not what I got to apologize for. I know I'm wrong. That's the worst thing about it. You know what I mean? Jesus, does it ever fucking end? You know what I mean? This is like when I was a kid. My mother was mad at me and she wouldn't tell me. I got to fucking figure out what I did. I love all these fucking TV shows where they sit there and they always sit there and they talk about how women talk, say twice as many fucking words in a day and how they're great at communicating.

It's like, no, they're not. They're not. They're not good at communicating. They speak in fucking riddles. Can you tell she's home? I keep whispering. So you speak in fucking riddles. I was talking to a buddy of mine today, younger, right? You know, sitting in the town going like, dude, what you got to understand about a woman is by the time they're eight, they got the whole fucking thing planned out. Not all of them, but enough of them. And you're still sitting there playing in a fucking mud puddle or jumping off a jungle gym going, hey, mom, look what the fuck I can do. Whatever kids do nowadays, you know, fucking dancing with your fucking toy robot, whatever you guys do. They got it all planned out. That's why how many times, guys, have you been out on a date with a woman and she said some shit to you?

That sounded like a riddle. And you're like, what the fuck? And then you answer the question and then she goes like, no, you're supposed to say blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, I didn't know there was a script. Nobody sent me the sides for my part like they have the whole fucking thing, the whole fucking thing mapped out. And you basically, you have three options. You either just accept it or die alone, or you go out and buy a wife beater and you become that guy. She don't want to do that. Is he blaming women for domestic violence? Shut up! God, just fucking around. You know, I was on Twitter, right?

And somebody wrote some fucking hilarious smart ass thing about me. So I clicked on their profile because I was just like, you know what, that is above average shit talk. Is this another comic? Is this an up and coming comic? I don't know. That was like almost a comedian level funny. So I went to this person's thread and I just, you know, read their little blurb couldn't figure what they did. So I scrolled down to try to figure out, are they a comedian? Look for a stand-up picture. And one of the things this person had retweeted was from this something-something feminist. It was talking about Donald Trump and was saying like,

Donald Trump just made fun of the victims of Me Too and the crowd roared with approval, period. And then again, she wrote roared with approval, right? And then she had the link. I'm like, oh my God, are you kidding me? This is what he did today. This guy is fucking crazy. So I clicked on it and he made a roundabout reference to Me Too. You know, he was using Me Too the way some people use millennials, which is not right. I'm not saying it's right to do that. But I'm, you know, I'm not trying to be a cunt here, but I am a comedian and I've been on stage for 26 years. They did not roar with approval. Okay? He got a chuckle.

He got a polite chuckle. I'm not saying they weren't meatheads there. I'm not saying what he said was fucking right. But the crowd did not roar with approval, period. Roared with approval. And it just as a comedian that fucking annoyed me. Because I remember back in the day, you'd see these fucking comics get off stage. Oh, dude, I crushed. I fucking crushed. You fucking, you got the job done. That's not killing your cunt. Stop walking around saying you killed.

It didn't, Donald Trump didn't kill. Okay. If that was his fucking audition set for a club and those were the laughs he was getting, they would say, you know what, he's, he's not ready yet. I'm not saying he's not funny. He was getting some laughs, but he was all right. But I don't think he's ready for a weekend spot yet. Like he was getting like Monday, Tuesday level laughs like back, you know, when there was some sort of fucking system in the clubs, when they would actually build talent, they used to have, you know, Monday was like an open mic night at Nick's.

And then the big deal was your next move and Nick's calling me stop in Boston. The next move was the host, Billy Martin, who's now like, you know, one of the made men over there at Bill Marshall. He then had a show Wednesday night at the cow loon. And that was the first big fucking move out of the open mics. I got a spot at the cow loon. And you'd say that to the other open micers. And they, you just, it burned through the crowd of open micers.

Dude, he burger to spot at the cow loon. And then I remember thinking like the first time I did a spot at the cow loon, I was so fucking nervous because this was the first time I went on in front of a crowd that was not expecting to see an open miker. They did not go to an open mic show going, all right, let's see what these fucking people have. I'm here to see a friend of mine. Like they came out to see a comedy show and they were like, all right, we're going to give you, we're going to hand you the keys for five minutes.

Let's see what the fuck you do. Right. So I would say, I would say that that's where Trump was in that speech. He was doing five minutes at the cow loon. All right. This has nothing to do about what the fuck he said or whatever. But I did find it interesting though, but that's how she heard it. She heard them roaring with laughter.

Yeah, like, and when you fucking, he listened to Trump going fake news, fake news, like it wasn't necessarily, sometimes it's fake, but it's more just people hear shit and then whatever they're passionate with, it just, it raises the fucking levels. You know, like, you know, with me this, you know, you guys at this point, if you listen long enough, you know the shit that sets me off. All right. And like the amount of fucking times I lose my shit and I think it's going, it's going a certain way.

And then I find out not only am I not right. I am a hundred percent. It's a complete 180. It's going the other direction. Now I'm not saying that this woman should have not have been upset, you know, and also been upset that people chuckled, you know, but they did not roar with laughter. I'm just being a, a, a, a cutting comedian right now. You know, there's just certain things that people say that, that goes into the terminology,

the terminology of a comedian and it bugs me. Like the thing that I, I, you know, I talked about about a year, a year ago or two years ago was this fucking phenomenon where all of a sudden people started saying the, the, the, I love when the comedian heckled the crowd. It's like, no, no, the community doesn't heckle the crowd. The comedian gets heckled. A heckler goes to a performance and tries to disrupt a performance, a speech, anything. That is a heckler.

All right. For a comedian to be heckling a crowd, the crowd to be, had to be collectively giving some sort of fucking performance that he's, he's interrupting. All right. You could say the comedian snapped. I love when you fucking just lost your shit on that guy, but I'm not heckling the crowd. Like, oh, look at how you sit in your seats. You call that a show?

I'm sorry. Whatever. So anyways, how many, how many fucking minutes? That's 24 minutes. God damn. That ain't bad. That ain't bad at all. Hey, let's talk about World Cup soccer.

Huh? What's, what's, you know, I usually when I talk about NFL football, I go, I know the theme song. I don't know what the, the World Cup thing is, you know, but I've watched enough of it that I know in the end they're going to go to the wrap up with the fashionable lady. Then there's the old like guy looks, he's like, you know, fell off a stool at a pub. He's probably some old fucking football player, you know. And then there's the excitable, like sort of fat guy who looks like with the mustache,

you know, am I allowed to say Latina was a white guy? I mean, he is a Latino dude. He looks like the guy. They're one of the first guys that gets killed in a fucking mob movie. And then the other ones, it seemed like they just, we had a revolving chair. I recognized this black dude with dreads as being like, wasn't he on our fucking team? The USA team. Oh, by the way, I finally figured out how to fucking tell who the fuck is who in a World

Cup game. If you didn't get there at the beginning, this is how it works in American TV on Fox Sports. They basically right next to the, the team name, they'll have the smallest little sliver of color. And that's the color of the uniform. Like I watched Russia versus Croatia and I'm just sitting there literally waiting for somebody to fucking score so I can figure out who the fuck is who. I'm sitting there, of course, you know, fucking, I don't know, two, three hours.

I'm kidding, man. It was a, it was a fucking unbelievable game. But I finally understood, figured out, no, somebody explained it to me on Twitter. I just started tweeting about going, you know, I don't know who the fuck is who here, you know. And, and I had this weird thing like I didn't know who to root for because there was something so fucking funny to me if the Russians won the World Cup. And I would just would have been so awesome listening to people losing their shit over

here and getting all wound up again, saying that they, you know, tampered with the election over here, you know, and then everybody just starts yelling at each other again. That's just, I was looking forward to that, you know, just adding to the fucking heat out here. But anyways, it was an incredible game and I cannot fucking believe, I root for Croatia, you know, although every time they cut to the Russians in the crowd, I was just like, you know, those are some good looking people, you know, there's really no middle ground with Russians.

So, you know what I mean? Or the Eastern Europeans, they're either like, look like fucking super models or they look like it's still like medieval times. You know what I mean? I mean, they got some women over there that looked like they could easily fucking impress some NFL scouts, you know, in the, in the, you know, the NFL combat when they're pushing up to 25, how many reps they can do, I'm not, you know, of course they wouldn't get drafted after the 40, but I'm just saying they, you know, but then they got some other ones that's

like, oh my God, gorgeous. I'm fucking with you. I'm not saying that, you know, there's not a lot of weirdo looking Americans. But that was the one, one of the really cool things looking at that, thinking of all the fucking bullshit that goes on at a political level, you know, with the missiles and all that shit. And then just to watch all these Russians losing their fucking minds every time Russia would score a goal.

So, long story short, not to take any with the Croatian crowd, same thing, fucking really good looking people, man. Did I mention that I'm going to be doing an Eastern European tour at the beginning of next year, you know, and I will be bringing all of your fucking good looking numbers down a half a degree during the time I'm in your fucking country. Please come up to me in your native tongue and tell me that you can fix my bald problem, balding problem. It's not balding, I'm bald and that you can, you know, I can fix that.

I am the greatest in Transylvania. That's why I approach people in the street with my fucking business card. I'm watching this fucking game and like, I'm doing the typical American thing like, uh, I can't believe people are into this, like at this level, what the fuck, I mean, every single song, you know, doing that shit. And all of a sudden Croatia scores a goal and I just, I don't, I couldn't control myself. I was just like, yeah, I fucking lost my shit, right? And then Russia comes back immediately, I believe, I watched so many games, I forget,

they fucking scored and fucking the Russian fans are going nuts. And I'm like, oh, these motherfuckers, I, you know, you know, me, I'm always conspired to the Vladimir Putin, you know, he's got, he's got the fucking, he's got the, he's got the invisible hand, you know, and, uh, then Croatia scores and it's fucking two to one. There's like barely any time left and I just, I almost made my daughter jump out of the chair in the other room. I yelled so loud when they scored and I was like, holy fuck, this is going to be unbelievable.

That fucking guy, number 10, number 10 is a beast on Croatia, right? And there's like no time left and all of a sudden Russia gets like a fucking corner kick. And I was just sitting there. I had my hands over my mouth just going like, oh no, oh no, come on, come on, come on, come on. And then he fucking kicks it. This beautiful, whatever the fuck you call it, you know, it was like a pass into the

slot, you know, in hockey, like a saucer pass just right over everybody's fucking head and it just goes right to this one Russian dude who just makes it glances it off his head into the back of the net and I just go fuck. And every time I yelled, I surprised myself and I can't believe how fucking into this game I am. So my wife and my daughter are getting ready to leave and I'm like, I'm sorry, we can't leave. I have to see the end of this game.

She's like, are you serious? This is yet another thing that you're fucking into. And I'm like, yeah, I go, it's the shootout, whatever the penalty, whatever the fuck they call it. And I sat there like literally like I was like that Tarkinian guy like chewing on a fucking towel. I was in the kitchen, you know, because I had to keep, you know, leave in the fucking room and I had like the fucking towel you dry dishes with.

So my wife is going, you're going to throw that in the hamper. I'm like, all right, I'm fucking on on the thing. And just the level, the level of fucking pressure. And if you miss one of those penalty kicks and your team only loses by one, like you just get shit for the rest of your life. You know, I mean, there was that guy in Columbia, I think I don't know if he got killed because of that, but I mean, it was pretty fucking suspicious. Um, it was an incredible game and like, um, it's safe to say that I, I 100% get it and

I actually love the game now there. I said it. I love soccer. It's a fucking great game. I finally get it. I fucking get it, you know, and then how great the World Cup is where it's truly is a world championship. And then what's great is if you lose, okay, that other team is can talk shit to you for

the next three fucking years and cause it's once every four years, but you're not even guaranteed that you're going to get in. So when you get to that fucking close, when you lose, now I get it. Now I get why I'm sitting there watching grown men crying who are in their fifties and sixties cause they're sitting there going like, it's not going to happen in my lifetime. I'm going to die without ever seeing him holding up an astoundingly small trophy for a true world championship. Do you see how big the fucking Stanley Cup is?

That's 30 teams, 31, whatever the fuck they're up to, it's not the whole world. You got the whole world. Why the fuck is the trophy so small? It's so funny when they win it and they all try to run around with it and they're all like, you know, trying to hold it up. They're like bumping heads and shit like they can't, they should make it bigger. You know what? That's classic fucking, that's how an American thinks.

That's how we think, you know, bigger is better. It is. And you know, something as much as you guys sit there and your shit on us in the back of your heads, you're jealous of it. You jealous how fat we get. You jealous how big they make the jeans over here and you're jealous that you could actually be that fat and still get down the fucking street because you guys are over there driving around in your fucking cow paths, you know, past all your ruins and your fucking castles

and all that shit. Why am I in such a mood right now? All right, I got to turn the light on. The fucking sun went down as I'm talking here. Hang on. Hang on, hang on, hang on. He's got the whole world. It is hands.

He's got the whole world. He's got the whole world. It is hands. He's got the whole world. He's got the whole world. It is hands. He's got the whole world. It is hands.

He's got the whole world. It is hands. He's got the whole world in his hands. It's gonna be one of the first songs you teach a kid, right? It's gotta be. It's religious. It's easy. All right, let's look at some of the advertising here for this week, shall we?

So congratulations to Croatia. I mean, oh, Jesus. And then there were four. England versus Croatia tomorrow, France versus Belgium. I'm sorry, on Tuesday? Well, I guess that will be tomorrow by the time you hear this. France versus Belgium on Wednesday. I'm working both days, so I'm at the tape, the games, and hopefully somebody on the fucking

set will say something. God damn it. What are you gonna do? The fuck. In the mountain, in the kitchen, even in the living, they're really everywhere to ride the empty boat. But now we're going to the finish. So bring them to a Bebath-in-sammel-punt.

You'll always find one in your neighborhood at Bebath.be. Bebath. Together, better for nature and for all of us. Campaign in cooperation with the oven. What are you gonna do? Anyways, let's read some of the fucking advertising here. Isn't it so weird that I hate reading out loud so much that I get upset when I have a lot of advertising?

It's actually money. I know, but I have to read. Dollar Shave Club, everybody. Dollar Shave Club delivers everything you need to look, feel, smell, smell your best. Dollar Shave Club has everything you need to get ready in the bathroom and delivers everything you need to look, feel, and smell your best. Did they just write that twice? Am I fucking having a stroke right now?

You name it. You name it. You name it. Remember that lady? I got beans, greens, beans. You name it. They should have her read this shit. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash.

You name it. Toothpaste, hair gel, even a wipe that will leave you a tush feeling, tingly clean. You know, out of all the complimentary gifts, I would have loved to have gotten that one. All of Dollar Shave Club's products are made with top shelf ingredients that won't break your budget. You feel the difference, plus shipping is included with all your membership. And here's a great way to touch, to touch, to try a bunch. See how that's how I do it.

I combine try and bunch. And so I got touch. I just saw the CH of Dollar Shave Club's products. Slow down, Bill. Just five bucks. You can get their Daily Essential Starter Set. Daily Essential Starter Set. Sam, why do you smell so scintillating?

Because of my Daily Essential Starter Set. It comes with body cleanser. One wipe. Charry. They're amazing butt wipes. That's so funny. Butt. Butt is such like a not attractive word.

Like blunt butt. But you can't say amazing ass wipes. Because people get called, you fucking ass wipe. I'm an amazing ass wipe, you know. Rectum wipes, you know. Daddy, yeah. They're world famous Shave Butter. That's why the French are the shit.

I mean, come on, man. That's an ass. Daddy, yeah. And their best razor, the six blade executive. If England and France play each other in the World Cup final, we'll probably start another fucking war over there in Europe. You know, some of them will bring up Napoleon or some King George shit. Whatever the fuck those people do.

It's always with the powdered wigs with them. And add in shampoo, toothpaste or anything else you need for the bathroom. Check it all out at JolliShaveClub.com slash Burr. That's JolliShaveClub.com slash Burr. All right. That's one. Frame bridge, everybody. I got four reads here in honor of the four people left in the World Cup.

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I just outed myself because you were like, well, then bill, why? I thought you said you didn't pick out the frames. Didn't you talk to somebody over there? No, I had Andrew do all of this. All right. I can comment on the finished product. Call to action. Must read.

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All right. Let's get on. Well, we can't get onto the letters. I have to talk about the F1 race that was in Great Britain. Back to back. I'd have to say these are the two most exciting races I've seen since I've been watching, which has been Monaco 2016. I've seen almost every race since then.

What a fucking race. Lewis Hamilton was trying to he got the pulp of position for like the eighth fucking time in a row there. I think he's won like the last six or seven. He always dominates there. He had a rough showing. Didn't even finish it. It did not finish this last one.

Wherever the fuck they were. And remember in Austria and you knew Mercedes was going to come back strong. So the race starts. All right. I believe Lewis Hamilton was in first. Battle was in second. Kimmy raking in was somewhere in there and only they go into the first fucking turn. Lewis Hamilton, something you hardly ever see has a bad start.

Vettel blows by him. Hamilton gets his fucking car going. I don't understand. Did he pop the clutch? I don't get how they have a bad start. I don't understand that Atari fucking steering wheel that they're doing there. I don't get it. There is no clutch anymore.

I don't even know what they've got a little paddle thing there. I have no fucking idea. But sometimes they don't hit the right button and they just go in too slow. I don't know. But they blame the driver, right? So anyway, so they get into the first fucking turn and all of a sudden, uh, Valtteri Botos comes screaming in out of nowhere. Vettel's in first place.

Uh, Lewis Hamilton's all of a sudden in third. I was like, no fucking way. And then out of nowhere, you just see all this smoking shit and the announcers are going nuts. And Lewis Hamilton got hit by Kimmy raking in. And, um, and he fucking spun out and he went from in like one turn or two turns from being first in the race to being last. And, uh, it was just like, what the fuck? And then I believe at that point it was Vettel, Botos, and then Kimmy raking in.

Oh, maybe Max Verstappen went up there, but you know, the Red Bull team was right there. And by the way, the United States, the fucking Haas team, we were, we've qualified fifth and sixth. We were doing it until we fucking slammed into each other like assholes and took ourselves out of the points. I am, we maybe got one point. I don't even think we came in 10th, man. It's fucking sucked.

Um, but we're doing better, man. We are doing better. And I think that's the team that I want, really want to win. Anybody has to do with American racing, but we're, we're having a great season. If we could just quit fucking up and, um, whatever, plowing ahead. So, um, Lewis Hamilton is not out of the race. He gets his car going again and, which is one of my favorite things when a great driver like him, a Sebastian Vettel gets knocked all the way to the back of the race, then you

get to watch him go through the field. Um, and he was driving, going, my car is messed up. It's messed up the rear end. They go, no, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine. And he just tears through the whole field basically up until the top five and then, but even when at top five, he was still like 25 seconds behind.

Um, that's how superior basically Red Bull or really Mercedes Ferraris and then Red Bull. And, uh, so Mercedes adopted this. We're just going to stop once like, I don't know, if you're not into this shit, it's actually like fascinating, like pitting and all of that stuff is you can win and lose it. And long story fucking short is by the end of the race for like the final five laps, um, because Mercedes only pitted one time and, uh, Ferraris pitted at least twice because I think one time they went in like, I never understand how it works with like the, with the, with the safety car out there or whatever the fuck they call it, um, pace car or some

shit, right? But anyways, all of a sudden with five laps left, it's felt Terry Botas is in first place. Uh, Sebastian Vettels right behind him with fresher tires. What's his face? Lewis Hamilton driving like a maniac once again with not as fresh tires because they only stopped once. So they're all fucking chewed up. And then right on his ass is that fucking psycho Kimmy Reagan and who I fucking love drives

like a maniac. Got a 10 second penalty, by the way, because they said he smashed into Lewis Hamilton. He didn't need to do that. Um, and he was yelling at his fucking pit crew and all that shit. It was fucking great. So they're all driving like absolute fucking maniacs. And once again, I'm screaming at the TV. Yeah.

Once again at a sport I never thought I would be into. And unfortunately for Vettel, like his, his tires just crapped out and he just, he didn't have enough grip and, um, I'm sorry. Yeah. Valtteri Botas. I'm sorry. His tires just crapped out and Vettel was able to duck underneath them. And then he, and then he gave way to Lewis Hamilton, which I thought was really cool.

And then Hamilton was trying to stay on his ass and they just didn't have the fucking tires and, um, much his face. Um, Botas ended up, I think he went all the way down to like fifth or sixth. Um, but the final was, uh, Sebastian Vettel for Ferrari, Lewis Hamilton from Mercedes and Lincoln and, um, on the podium there. So it was two Ferraris and a Mercedes. Sebastian Vettel is now eight points up and, uh, the Ferrari team, I think is like 20 points up for the year.

And they got two more races before the summer break. They couldn't be any closer. It's going to be fucking great. Fuck. Anyways, Jesus Christ. By the way, I just hit pause. That coughing fit went on for like another nine fucking seconds. Let's read some advertising here.

So anyways, the next one I believe is, I think it's in Germany or is it the Hungarian? I don't know. There's a little next to, but, uh, I got to think of MotoGP's coming up. I hope I didn't fucking, my, my stupid, uh, recorder isn't fucking not, isn't recording those things because sometimes it gets bumped down in priority. I don't know how the fuck that works. Um, okay. In regard to Eastern European tour, dear Bill, you mentioned planning East European tour.

I just want to make, just wanted to mention to think about visiting one of former Yugoslavian countries in the Balkans. If this plan moves forward, I emailed you from Belgrade, Serbia, but anything here like Croatia, Bosnia, or even Slovenia can work for local fans. Check out some stats where you have the most site visits or something as it would be interesting to see you live somewhere near stand up. It's still relatively rising here, but I am sure it might be interesting for you to visit if you are around here.

Dude, I will go there and fucking eat my balls in a second. What am I ever going to go there? I'll be close enough that you can jump on a train, right? Your papers, please. However the fuck it works over there, you know, Eastern Europe scares me, man. That's, you're still behind the communist block like for most of my life. So, um, then I know, you know, once Russia went out of there, you guys kind of picked up some Hatfield and McCoy shit that you hadn't finished, you know, got a little crazy there

with the fucking genocide and stuff, you know, got a little nuts over there. So, uh, you know, you guys don't fuck around over there is what I'm trying to say. It's not like you're going to Canada. Oh, hey, how you doing? You know, it's not like, it's not one of those things. Um, I feel like I'm going to go over there and it's going to have like that same vibe like Belfast had where it was just like, even if you didn't know some shit went down, the second you go there, you're just like, whoa, some fucking shit went down here and

you just immediately act accordingly. Like I will not be fucking with anybody here. Um, all the best for you and your family. Um, I will, uh, I'm, I'm very, very excited to see that part of the world and, um, we are putting it together. I would not bring it up if we weren't putting it together. All right. Okay.

Possible Eastern European tour. Another one. Hey, chief, I was just listening to your latest podcast, July 2nd, where you mentioned putting together an Eastern European tour. Look at this. This is two people. I knew this tour would be successful. Uh, hopefully you'll have the balls to come to Belgrade, Serbia so I can see your

performant person. Well, the second you tell me I need balls to go where the fuck you're from. Yeah, get, go fuck yourself. I'm not going there. Why don't I, why do I need to have balls to go there? Don't even talk about the weather. It's not Siberia. It's Serbia because I'm going to go there and take a fucking farm tool to the

side of my head. I don't need that shit. What do you got vampires there are considered as I'm sure you'll have a blast here. I like how he scares the fuck out of me. He's like, Hey, man, go go to the water park. Also, I don't know when you're planning to do this tour, but I'd recommend sometime between September and November. Hopefully you'll put some more specific information out on this plan.

So no, I was thinking like January or February. Why is that a bad time? What happens in those months? Anyway, love your, oh, those during January, we, everybody stays inside and they let the inmates run down the street. It's like running of bulls with murder. Anyways, love your shtick and wacky antics with the occasion, random hijinks rock on you crazy bastard.

All right, just where you're talking. I think I'll be fine if I go over there. All right, Obama's money. Hi, Bill. Oh, am I going to get this shit kicked out of me on this one? He signed a book deal. You unread douche. Oh, stop it.

Stop it. I don't want to hear this shit. I don't want to hear this shit. I don't want to hear this dude. He's going to go around and he's got, dude, he had $70 million worth of fucking tour dates. He also had that you selectively unreading douche bag. Tell me he fucking, he had a fucking $900 million book deal.

Obama $65 million book deal. All right, wait a second. Wait a second. And now I'm going to fucking hit you back with my shit. Obama speaking dates. Money tour. Here we go. Come on, man.

Big number, big number, big number. Michelle Obama tickets for 2018. Barack Obama $400,000 speaking fees. Reveal what few. Here we go. Obama secures $800,000 for two speaking. Who do you think he's talking to? You think he's going to a homeless shelter?

The reason many of us have been critical of Barack Obama's outrageous $4,000 speaking fees is it robs us of a fantasy that sooner or later the first black president was going to vote. This is considered powers in or out of office to help the economic ravages of the poor who are just showing in black. You know a white person probably wrote this. I want to know who he's talking to. Huh?

Who the fuck has 400 grand to throw at this fucking guy? They're all, I don't know how to talk to you fucking assholes. So am I really supposed to sit here and I'm supposed to think that these fucking guys, like everybody with the blue tie, I just don't buy it. I don't fucking buy it. All right. Okay. $65 million book deal.

Okay. After taxes, sir, after taxes and all the bullshit, that'll probably be about 30 million bucks. And I guarantee fucking to you, he is going to be worth when it's all said and done about 200 million bucks. Okay. And it's not going to be because he wrote a fucking book. All right. He's also going to go out and they do these speaking engagements to all these corporations

that, and they'll pay them 400 fucking grand. And these are the same people that got him into office and he went in there and did what the fuck they wanted. And this is just them washing their bribe money. I mean, honestly, dude, what changed when he was in office that everybody is so enamored with? Did we stop torturing people down in Guantanamo? Did we fucking end the war over there?

Are we finally going like, Hey, wait a minute, ISIS doesn't have a plane or a boat. Why are we acting like Germany got back together? No, it's the same fucking thing. It's the same goddamn. It's the same guy with a different colored tie. All right. I will fucking read up on this. Hi, Bill.

Love your shows. You work it out later in the world. Our most recent pocket. You talked about the house Obama just bought and wondered where the money came from. Here's the piece that explains it. It doesn't. It doesn't. $65 million.

You don't turn around and you're only going to get $30 million of that. Okay. And then you're going to go out and buy an $80 million fucking house. You're going to pay at the 30 year note on that, paying interest on that. Cause you just basically got $30 million after taxes. That makes no fucking sense. All right. And also I would say, I would actually be willing to suggest that I am a fucking perinomaniac,

that the information that you're going to, they're not going to tell you, can somebody explain to me how did the Clintons become worth hundreds of millions of dollars? Let me guess. They both wrote a book for $100 million each and they, what they don't pay taxes. And that was it. And then other than that, they're like Jimmy Carter driving around the world fucking, you know, building houses for the poor. I never claimed sir to be a hundred percent fucking read up on this shit.

I'm not even 2% read up on it, but neither are you. Okay. This is not a piece that explains it. This is a piece that just shows this guy cashing the fucking 65 million is the gross. He's going to get about 30 million bucks. That's it because he's got to kick in for this never ending war too. All right. So now he's got 30 million bucks.

He owes 82 million. Like what is the fucking payment on that a month? Now he's going to go around and he's going to give all these fucking speeches. Okay. And at schools do not have the fucking, you know, I would say Ivy League schools, some of these bigger fucking schools, maybe they have that, but generally speaking, they go around and they talk to these fucking, these corporations who got him into fucking office. Hey, do what the fuck you want to do.

You know, every fucking one of them. I don't know. I think the whole fucking thing is weird. It's all weird. It's all weird that he's a public servant and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the end of the rainbow, you were 200 fucking million dollars and you're living in the same neighborhood as all those corporate cunts who pour shit into the fucking water supply.

And the fact that that doesn't bother you on any goddamn level and you're going to just sit there. You got 65 million for a book. I mean, there you go. I'm satisfied with that. I don't think the political system is corrupt at all. I don't think it's a bad thing that now corporations can dump unlimited amount of funds into presidential candidates.

I don't think that that influences their decisions on foreign policy whatsoever. I don't know. Hey, you know what, sir? Agree to fucking disagree. All right. Anyways, I mean, read the rest of this. And despite the fact that I don't agree with you, I will say that there are assholes on both sides.

However, I, however, believe that there is a lot to be said about how one conducts themselves, which is why I side with Hillary over Trump. Yeah, I love you people who like it's how you conduct yourself. As long as you continue murdering innocent people, it's like it's not a problem. But they're so eloquent when they give a speech. Do you know why the president ages the way they do? It's because of the dead bodies. That's why it's not the economy.

It's not the sketches on SNL, which is what always cracks me up when you see like people in Hollywood talking about how they want to run for president. You're basically saying that you're so fucked in the head that you won't that you want to go to bed, put your head on the pillow going like, did I do the right thing? We thought they were the enemy. It turned out to be a family. There were children there and you have to fucking go to bed. And then the next day fucking smile and give some goddamn speech.

It is the most fucked up. Maybe they deserve the money. I don't know. Maybe I'm oversimplifying. I am. I always oversimplify. You know what, sir? I agree with you.

You're probably right. You know what? There you go. That's how he got the house. He wrote a book. Hickory dickory duck. This chick was sucking my cock. Cuckuck suck dude.

Fuck him up. Andrew Dice Clay. God bless you. All right. Podcast topic. Hey, Bill. Wondering if on an upcoming podcast you can talk about how your views may or may not have changed on being a stay at home mom that you were a parent yourself.

No, they haven't changed. They haven't changed. I think everybody exaggerates how difficult their fucking job is. All right. Listen, being a single parent is difficult, I would say. That would probably be unbelievably fucking difficult. However, if you're fucking married, you know what I mean? It's, and you got one kid.

It's not that hard. The first three months, yeah, you're hallucinating. You know, but you get somebody to help you out. A friend, a family member, something to help you out. That whole fucking thing where people try to do it themselves is, God damn it. It's fucking insane. It's fucking insane. That's not, people didn't do that back in the day.

They used to say it takes a village to raise a child. And back in the day, you didn't fucking move to the other side of the goddamn forest. You just built a fucking log cabin right next to your parents. That was it. They came over and they helped you out. Fought off a grizzly bear. Okay. No, my views have not changed.

Other than, I can be honest with you, when I watched my kid, I'm fucking psyched. I love it. I have a great goddamn time. We play games. We're screaming and yelling. We're throwing balls all over the living room. And, you know, I don't know what the problem is. You know, my buddy was bitching about something, talking about it.

He had to do something difficult. They said, dude, do you realize there's probably some guy from Cuba right now that, you know, made a boat out of a discarded desk and is using a fucking sport code as a sale, trying to get into this fucking country, risking the fact that he's going to get caught, sent back, and God knows what the fuck happens to him. Now, what exactly is the problem with your day? What I would say, ma'am, is it's about perspective, which is what that bit was about. I'm not saying it's not a challenging job.

It's not an important job. I just said it's not the most difficult job on the planet. I would say that people who fucking were trying, when the lava was coming down at their house and they didn't have lava insurance, I would say it's a more trying day than when your kid just would not stop crying, you know. If you want to hear a kid not stop crying, wait till that fucking lava's at the front door. Help.

Should I tell my boyfriend I'm a prostitute? Okay. Now, you and I know sometimes these emails get a little fucking not believable. Like, what am I supposed to do with this shit here? Is this actually, sir? Help. Exclamation point. Should I tell my boyfriend I'm a prostitute?

All right. What do I do here, people? Do I ignore this? Do I actually act like this is real? All right. Let's wait into Dear Billy Ball Baggins. I'm a 25 year old semi-single lady living in the Netherlands. Okay.

I've got good qualifications, master's degree and social. Well, it sounds like outgoing. Yeah. I'm not going to argue and try to treat other people with kindness and respect. Oh, God bless you. You're the prostitute with the heart of gold. You really have a master's degree. Now, I'd really like to build a special relationship in my life and I'm currently dating a nice

guy from Brazil. Oh boy. But there's a catch for the past three years. I've been working in the sex industry. I like my job, make good money and always practice safe sex. Oh boy. Oh boy. Get out of that business, sweetheart.

I don't want to quit as it would mean busting my ass to some corporate job working for the man. Yikes. This is a stripper, you know, no offense to strippers, but Jesus Christ. You know, go out there, shake your ass a little bit, you know, hose yourself off in the green room and just walk away like it never happened. For me, it's not a big deal to balance my job and a loving relationship as I don't find the work side of things emotionally intimate at all.

However, my boyfriend seldom sees it the same way. My boyfriends. I am sure if I should be honest with my new potential boyfriend about my profession. I'm unsure if I should be normally I'm very honest and upfront my boyfriends about my job and normally it kills the relationship. Oh, I see. I'm starting to wonder if honesty is really the best policy as the truth always seems to add extra pressure and the strain to the relationship and it hurts me when I get attached to people

and they finish with me. What do you think? I hope you and Nia had a nice time in Paris and go fuck yourself. We had a great time. All right. Okay. If this is true, sweetheart, if you want to find a loving relationship, I think you need to stop being a prostitute.

Okay. You know, I understand, you know, nobody understands not wanting to ending up in a cubicle more than me, but I mean, it's a fucking dangerous job. You know, it's a very dangerous job. There's a bunch of creeps out there. I know you practice safe sex, but yeah, there's always problems. It's just, you know, I don't know. I don't, you know, something I'm looking at this as a, you know, with that Puritan American

fucking viewpoint. I don't know if you're free or over there, man. I don't know what the deal is, but let's say I could actually handle the fact, the physical aspects of the girl I was dating being a prostitute, which I couldn't. I would be so worried every time she went out that someone was going to beat her up or kill her. I mean, you're in the sex industry. It's a fucking horrible industry.

Uh, you know, I would, uh, yeah, I think, you know, at least I would be worried about is how I tell this fucking guy I'm in the sex industry. I would be more worried. How the fuck do I get out of the sex industry? Because what's going to happen is eventually you're going to be an old prostitute. All right. And, uh, I don't know how you, what you're investing your money in Bitcoin or, uh, you know, your own whorehouse.

I have no idea what you're doing here, but like, uh, you know, then all of a sudden there's this big gap in your resume where you weren't in a cubicle. Now you're trying to get a corporate job and you're like, you know, what did you do from 2010 to, uh, 2021? Oh, I, uh, I, I had sex for money. Oh, oh, okay. Well, all right. I don't think we have any more questions.

I mean, you know, assuming this is all true, uh, I would love it if you got out of that industry. Just get out of it. You know what I mean? There's easy money in my business too. You know, I could go fucking do it. I go whore myself out, you know, but you know what? You always leave a piece of yourself there back in that room.

Um, I don't know. You have a tremendous attitude. I mean, you make it sound fun. I love it, man. You know, I don't get emotionally attached to making good fucking money. You know, and this is when any woman's group would be like, uh, that's because she's so numb from the top of the B, but you know, they start throwing their thoughts into your fucking head.

I don't know how you're wired. It might be fucking true. It might not be true. I don't have any. I don't have any. This is way above my pay grade. I have no idea. But yeah, you should fucking tell somebody that you're, you know, having sex for money.

You know, he probably want to know that because it is dangerous. You know, there's STDs and all that shit out there. Yeah, I guess I would, I would, you know, I would tell him. Fuck it. You know, I guess if you can continue being a prostitute, your soulmate's going to be the person you don't have to lie to. And you can't accept me for who I am, you know, um, all right. I don't know what I got to do to get rid of this fucking cold.

It just came on slow. Oh, I might, I don't know. This doctor wants telling me if it comes on fast, it goes away fast, it comes on slow, it goes way slow. I guess that's what the fuck's going on here. But anyways, that is the podcast. Um, good luck to all four teams left in the World Cup. Good luck to that prostitute and that Brazilian guy.

And God bless the United States of America and congratulations to Obama for signing a $900 million book deal. That's how he got that house. That's how he's going to pay for it. All you need is 30 million bucks for 82 fucking. If I got a $60 million fucking book deal and all I was going to get was 30 million bucks out of it. And I was getting four and a grand a night.

I still wouldn't go out and buy an $82 million house. I wouldn't fucking do it. And $82 million house is a fucking white elephant. No offense to the Obama's. All right. I mean, when you turn around to sell that thing, I mean, there's like 0.1% of people that can actually fucking afford it. You got to hope that they're in the goddamn market.

Um, I don't know. Do you think I'll fly drones around it for old time's sake? Oh, that was a low blow. See, Bill, this is why people think you voted for Trump. I don't like making fun of Trump. It's too fucking easy. And paying attention to him is too fucking depressing. You know, oh, by the way, I got to tell you something.

Don't be a brat thing on fucking Instagram. And I'm like that. I can't get over that clip of that little shit yelling at that bouncer. The bouncer goes, get out of my face. You little shit or whatever. And the kid is so beside himself. He's, oh my God. Oh my God.

Do you have any idea what the fuck my dad does? I cannot believe that a man said that to another man. Do you have any idea what the fuck my dad does? It's like, why is, I'm not talking to your dad there, son. I'm talking to you. What the fuck do you do other than buy little shirts? But what I love, I've watched that video so many times after that, he fucking throws that little shit, which is so satisfying to watch.

When you listen to his friends, they just like, oh dude, you are fucked. You are. You just fucked up, dude. And the kid gets up and like, oh, what? Does he know some Taekwondo? What's going down? And he goes, you just fucked up, man. They all walked away, right?

But they were so convinced that this bouncer was fucked. And to the point I was sitting there like, I was feeling like unsatisfied. Like, dude, I want to know what the fuck your dad does. Do you have an idea what the fuck my dad does? I just literally says, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. He's like, are you seriously challenging me right now? Do you have any idea what the fuck my dad, what does he do? Does he torture people for the CIA?

What the fuck does he do? Oh my God. Somebody's got to animate that. That bouncer sitting in the chair. He knows torturers. They always have like the fucking tools out in front of you. And there's that little shit. I told you, man.

I told you not to push me in my little polo shirt. All right, that's it. I apologize to Obama and all presidents. Evidently, they just do book deals. And just make for the grand and Ike giving speeches to, you know, banking conglomerates and that type of shit. No, they don't. They go down to homeless shelters and they all scrape together fucking nickels that they,

they beg for that day. I have no fucking idea. And you know what? Neither does the guy who I love how he looked up one fucking thing. That's why I just, I love doing a podcast as I get, I get, I'm not that dumb. These people just as dumb as me. You know who would know Jimmy door. I can have Jimmy door in this.

I'm going to have fucking Jimmy door in this podcast. I'm going to save this. I'm going to save this fucking question. I'm going to read it to Jimmy door. All right. Oh my God. Oh my God. Jimmy door reads.

Jimmy door is going to be my dad on this question so I can win because I want to win. I don't want to be right. I just want to win. That's what it's about. Right. All right. Have a great week. You fucking cunts.