Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 8-12-24

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

Bill rambles about shoving things in drawers, pancakes for love, and CrossFit controversy. SimpliSafe:  Protect your home this summer with 20% off any new SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring www.SimpliSafe.com/BURR Stamps.com:  Sign up with promo code BURR for a special offer that includes a 4-week trial, plus free postage, and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts.  Click on the microphone on the home page and use code BURR at www.stamps.com

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move and download Monopoly Go. Now free for the App Store and Google Play. Hey, what's going on? How are ya? How's it going? How's it going in your world? Are you alright? Is everything fine with ya? Are you watching the last day of the Olympics?

Congratulations to the USA men's basketball team winning the gold medal god damn it which we should Because you know it was actually invented at the game was invented by a white man and Springfield, Massachusetts You know So anybody who isn't white and from Massachusetts specifically Springfield is culturally appropriating The white man's game Anyway fucking around here. I

Watched a lot of the Olympics this time. I was amazed because I have not watched in a long time I was amazed at the amount of shit, the amount of sports you can play during the summer. I mean, who knew? Who the fuck knew? And I'll tell you, I ping pong and birdie are fucking, they're insane. Like watching the fucking speed of those games. So I've been like watching all of these clips of it and everything. So now that's gotten into my feed on the fucking Instagram. Because evidently I'm never gonna, I'm doing better with it, but that's one addiction. That's one addiction that I don't know how to beat that, you know?

Because it's just a fun app to be on. You know because it's just a fun app to be on You know My favorite I'm telling you my favorite thing is find the narcissist the level that people can just fucking make anything about themselves Nature videos are a big one Or they just try to get attention You know a big one or they just try to get attention. You know, like you'll see like a giraffe giving birth and these lions just jump on the baby

giraffe before it's still like in the fucking whatever that I never took an anatomy class. The fetal sack we'll call it. It's still in the bag and they devour it. It had like, it lived literally for like three seconds. And there's always somebody there who has to write, huh, fresh meat. You know? And what I hate about it is they're acting like this sort of like they can handle nature, but you can't. Because they know everybody's watching it. Because it's, it's... Undeniably sad that that fucking thing was born it didn't get one chance to run in the wind with its little dumb legs

it just lands on the ground and is fucking devoured and that was its life if you're not a human being if you don't see a sadness in that. But there's always somebody there who asks to explain that this is how nature works. Oh, is that how it works? In your fucking one bedroom apartment, you fucking jerk off. Stop acting like you're out there fucking walking around barefoot, naked and afraid, like these fucking idiots trying to win 100 grand on some reality show. Somebody was telling me the other day, they they just they watch a show where some guy walks around barefoot in the fucking Amazon and he gets a TV show out of it. It's like isn't there indigenous people doing that?

Look at me I have shoes but I choose not to wear them. Wow bro this guy's like hard fucking core But I also have a respect for him because he is fucking hardcore You know this one person that is not worried about the collapse of an economy You know the guy that can walk around barefoot In the Amazon, you know Eating fucking bugs and shit

in the Amazon, you know, eating fucking bugs and shit. Um, I'm in the Matrix and I'm proud of it. Oh, Billy Matrix. Um, anyway, I have, uh, oh, oh, Billy off the road. Ooh, Billy off the road, Billy darkness. All the reasons that I go on the road road all the reasons I have all these hobbies starts fucking coming up and I'm telling you like this is there was this you know thing back in the day we're like now everybody calls everybody toxic there's always some word that becomes popular like a vegetable all of a sudden you know everybody's got to eat kale. Right now everybody seems to be finally addressing the fact of how difficult eating one of

those, uh, no, it's not asparagus, it's one of those green ones. Oh Jesus fucking Christ, what do you call it? That prickly green thing and all the stem and the end of the leaf. You know what I'm talking about. Look at that. I'm doing like 80 stand up. This guy knows what I'm this vegan over here. He knows what she knows what I'm talking about. The fuck is that thing called?

It's going to I'm just going to let it go. I got to let it go and then it's going to come to me in the middle of something else that has nothing to do with it. Anyway, everybody's trash in that thing right now, saying it's not worth the work. It's too much work. Just open a bag of Doritos and fucking tie it around your face, you fucking mule. It's too much work. You fucking pussy. You went down to a supermarket picked one out

Dropped it in a pot of fucking water that flows from a faucet and you know, you don't have to make fire You just turn on the stove And that's too much fucking work for you eat it dick not asparagus Not a rutabaga asparagus not a rutabaga god damn it that's gonna torture me anyway the psychology works the same way okay everybody's a fucking narcissist right I do that all the time now anybody who says anything about themselves now to me I diagnosed them as a fucking page one I like to throw page one or 101 after I make my diagnosis without any sort of fucking training whatsoever. Yeah, I got, I got life experience. That's my degree.

I got street smarts, um, which is a thing. Life experience is also a thing, but you know what else is a thing? Being a fucking moron. So if you're on the street and you're a fucking moron you're not gonna really learn anything. And if you have a lot of life experience, or even go to college, if you're a fucking moron, that just is what it is. You know, it's how you process information I think is what makes you intelligent. But then again, I went to summer school. So what the fuck do I know? Bill, you're going to make your point.

So back in the day, there was something that was called a anal retentive. And that's what fucking slobs used to call people that lived like adults. Like my whole fucking time of having roommates and, uh, you know know before I got married and all that that's what I was called I was anal retentive and I used to look at them being like no I'm a fucking adult like I do my dishes I dry them and I put them away I don't want to come home and live in a fucking disaster. You know, that's like a huge like back and forth with me and my lovely wife. Is that whole thing of like you have something,

you don't wanna take the time to figure out what it is or where it goes, so you just open a drawer and you stick it in there and you close it. And you do that for fucking years And the next thing you know, you can't close any of the drawers You can't find anything if you need the charger for something. You don't know where it is. You find a charger You don't know what the fuck it goes to and it drives me up the wall. I feel like it is a great Exercise in being successful is to live a neat, efficient life.

Me and what I mean, oh, you fucking anal, this guy's anal retentive. It's like you go into his house, it's like ex machina. They say all that shit. And it's like, no, it's organized and it's efficient. And what it is is along the way, all of these little problems, where does this go? You know, I got to bring this all the way upstairs. All of those little problems, they don't go away when you shove it in the drawer. So it's a great discipline that when you have a problem is to face the fucking thing.

So it doesn't grow into a bigger problem. And if you do that in your life, the way you live, it gradually seeps into the way you work because I still do it. I still have, I got a drawer of shit right next to my bed that I have. Let get disgustingly out of control. And, um, that's like my project here. Cause I don't have any road gigs for the rest of the month.

I have one, two, three, four drawers and this little pile of shit in the corner of my bedroom and I'm determined to get rid of all of it, organize it or do something like that. And um, anyway, so my whole time growing up for the most part, I used to, when I lived with people, I just realized, you know, if I made a mess like in a common area, I would pick up because I didn't want them coming home to my fucking mess, making somebody else clean up my mess. That's not fucking cool. Right. So I've been like that and for the longest time I thought it was because I was fucking raised right and all this shit.

I'm an adult and everything. And now I'll be honest with you. I think it's just because I wake up and I just start doing shit because if I don't, I fall into a depression. Like if I don't have something to do, if I don't have a problem that needs to be solved or something new to learn, then I am just sitting there alone with my thoughts. And the only time I can sit alone with my thoughts and not fall into a depression is when I'm smoking a cigar, which I got to tell you, oh my God, do I miss those things?

I'm 12 days in. I'm happy I'm 12 days in, but I'm also not happy. I got a good interview coming up with one of my favorite comedians in the world. And he's from Ireland, Tommy Ternan. And I found out that he smokes cigars. And his whole attitude toward it. It's going to be one of these Thursday podcasts. You got to see it. He said the funniest thing, I didn't really notice it in the moment, but I thought about

it later. He said, I try to smoke every day everyone else tries to quit and this guy is trying to smoke a cigar every day I just thought that was so fucking funny and great because he knows like it helps him mentally I try to smoke every day I make an effort like you know I try to smoke every day. I make an effort. Like, you know, I try to give thanks every day. So I don't know. I hope the planets align and I have a gig in Ireland and I'm in the same town as him

because I would love to just sit there. He's one of the greatest storytellers I've ever met. And it's so effortless and he's so funny and I would always find with people like that Is there also like great listeners as opposed to me who never shuts the hell up? Which is why I do this podcast by myself. It actually isn't it's it's because I fucking I don't want to deal with guests And their schedule and their bullshit and then fucking can you give me 10 minutes? Oh, what did we say today? I just would rather not deal with that. So anyway, I wake up this morning.

And. You know, I don't I always wake up next to my wife. We start joking around. She always makes me laugh or something like that. Right. So I go, you want to, you want to take the kids out for breakfast? She's like, Hey, you know, I don't know. I think I'll think I'll stay. We'll stay here. Blah, blah, blah. Next thing I'm downstairs making everybody a fucking grand slam breakfast. And it's funny. If people see that, they look at me and go like,

Jesus, dude, you are like such a family man you are such a great dad it's like no no that's not what it is I have demons I mean it is I am a great but it's funny though all of my fucked up shit in in in my head causes me to like be like a good husband and father. I go downstairs, right? First thing I do is I get some sort of skillet going, empty the dishwasher, dry off any dishes that are in the little rack next to the fucking sink. Then I start making breakfast for everybody. I mean I got the shit down. My wife likes a decaf oat milk latte Extra sweet vanilla. I don't have any oat milk. I don't believe in it. All right

This titty milk when you're a kid and then this cow milk and fuck everything else when you're a kid and then there's cow milk and fuck everything else. It's just how I was raised and I have no problem with fucking 4% milk. Anyway, but we get two, that's the compromise, but anything after that looks like fucking glue or paste to me and I'm not fucking drinking it. It's like water. It's gross so Anyway, so I got a grinder for the for her decaf I got my caffeinated shit in the in in like the espresso machine I Make my my son asked for a parfait my My daughter wants pancakes. My wife wants scrambled eggs with bacon.

So I just fucking, and you know what? And I'm in heaven. I got like two machines going, couple of skillets. Shit's heating up. I'm fucking getting the fucking eggs going and blah, blah, blah. Like a fucking lunatic. And I am an absolute, absolute heaven doing all of this for my family. And it's not because just because I love them, it's because I'm fucked in the head and doing all of this stuff clears my head. Just fucking clears my head. Just fucking clears my head.

So I make the, I make the parfait for my son, who thankfully is the happiest human being I know. He just shows up every morning. Big smile on his face. He's all excited. He knows how to ride a bike. He plays drums, crushing it from the left side of the plate. He's not, I got him on the right. He's not excited about the right cause he crushes the left.

My frigging daughter is hitting them all the way, you know, like up to this, you know like up to this you know almost broke a window just crushing it so we've now moved we got it like I got to start taking them down to the park or something so whatever I make him a parfait with strawberries he's not into blueberries and then my daughter wants something I call Christmas pancakes because I learned the recipe around Christmas. They're fucking them They're amazing. They're amazing pancakes. They got a little bit of they got they got Lemon juice in there with a little bit of the rind on it and Artichoke artichoke Fucking artichoke artichoke fucking artichoke

That's what it was everybody's coming down on the artichoke because they don't like the work Sorry, I knew it was gonna come to me All right, so I got the pancakes going I asked my wife if she wants like, you know My wife's been crushing it at the gym. So I asked her if she wants a nice protein breakfast I go make you some scrambled eggs, bacon, a little bit of avocado with nothing on it, right? So she says, I don't want the avocado. She wants a little cheese and the eggs.

Hey, no fucking problem, right? Knock that shit all out. She comes down, right? My kids are eating. Got a parfait, I got pancakes. I got eggs and bacon going. And I said to her, go ahead. I go, if you want, I can upgrade your breakfast

to a grand slam. You want one, you want one pancake? And your breakfast to a grand slam. You want one? You want one pancake? And she's like, yeah, I would love one. So I go, all right. So I'm fucking making the pancake. I go to grab a fucking coffee cup because I got a decaf going. I drop the coffee cup. It lands on the stove and a part of it breaks near this skillet where I'm making a pancake.

Now, Osha says, don't do that. There might be glass in the pancake. But I looked and I didn't see any, but I confessed later. I said, there might have been a microscopic. She's like, what the fuck? Why did you do that? And I said, because I have a crushing need to be liked. And I saw how excited you were that I could add a pancake

to your breakfast this how fucked up I am and Making you feel that happy about me I needed that more than I needed to consider OSHA and the fact that if I was in a restaurant Everything near the stove went in the garbage was in a restaurant, everything near the stove went in the garbage. And that was my morning. And that was my morning. Now other than the corporation decision I made about the possible microscopic piece of glass in the pancakes, I thought I did a pretty good job.

But what I'm saying is, point here being that is if you were to watch me do all of this and then clean up the whole fucking kitchen afterward. And I have to be the one that does it because nobody else does it right. You know what I mean? Because they're happy people. They want to get on to just fucking chilling or whatever. Um, yeah, I clean the whole fucking thing up, dry everything, put everything away so I know where the fuck it is,

and then I take out the little Clorox wipes, I wipe down the whole fucking counter and all of that. And that's all of this behavior that these pop psychologists would look at me and be like, that guy is fucking beyond anal retentive, and I'm here to tell you no I am out of my fucking mind I'm like that fucking I'm like a functioning alcoholic except it's psycho

Functioning psycho. That's basically what I am So, I don't know but the older I, the more I start to like learn how to, uh, chill a little bit more. But, um, I will say though, being, having demons, running from demons can make you really successful in life because you have no problem going to work and doing it's all how you apply it you know what I mean like you'll fucking stay there and work on something because you know when you stop working that it gets quiet and then

the voices start talking to you and you just you're like what the fuck? So anyway, I'll tell you another place where my brain just sort of gets quiet is when I fly. So I flew a couple times last week. And both times I flew up. I flew over LA one day. It's so hard. I will never get over the privilege of having a pilot's license. It's fucking unbelievable. And just the view I had and I just went right down sunset. You know, and

I went out to the coast and then I made a right turn Pacific Palisades and I headed up and when I got past Point Doom there was this amazing like marine layer that was coming in that I was actually above and helicopters you're not allowed to fly yeah I think you have to have like an autopilot and all kinds of shit like that. So I see him off in the distance. So I bang a right. I go over the Santa Monica Mountains. Inside of Camarillo airspace, I head up. I land on the pad at Santa Paula.

And then I straight out, straight out to Parchin. You kind of of go up to the left and head out and there's a little stream. And as I was flying out, these ducks were on the river. I tried not to over fly them, but I also had traffic in the pattern that was flying the pattern. So I had to get out of the way and they took off flying. And I was like over and it was like three ducks. I flew over them. Then I got out further and enough past the junkyard, past everybody where they say last call for Santa Paula. And then I banged a right, went up over those mountains.

There's this giant reservoir to the West. And then I came in the right and flew over the whole town of Ojai and then came back, stayed out of the Santa Paula area cause I didn't want to deal with those guys. Flew over Fillmore and then back to Burbank. It was incredible. And the whole time I was up there, you know, I just fucking, I didn't, wasn't thinking about anything. I was just looking at stuff, seeing how beautiful LA is, how beautiful California is.

And that's another thing too. Don't listen to all these fucking people who talk about how fucked up LA is and they get involved in all the politics. You know, one of the best things that happened to this state is whenever they show it on the national news, they show Skid Row in Los Angeles, downtown or San Francisco or something like that. They show wildfires and all of that. You have no idea how fucking gorgeous the state is.

When you get outside of LA, that whole area, the mountains, the hiking, places to ride a motorcycle, ride a horse, just breathtaking, like coastal views, elephant seals, whales, dolphins, all of this shit. And everybody's just like, it's like a fucking third world country out there. And you didn't go, yeah, yeah, it is man. Yeah. You don't want to fucking come out here. It's terrible. Um, but I will say though, everywhere I go though, I'm trying, I'm really trying to think of any here. It's terrible But I will say though everywhere I go though I'm trying I'm really trying to think of any place I've ever been that wasn't gorgeous a lot of people like they judge it By like what there is to do

Like like you don't have a valid city unless the it's a stop on the Rolling Stones tour, you know Or you two one of those big bands tour, you know, or you two, one of those big bands, um, New Mexico, Arizona, the whole Southwest is gorgeous. Like all of it, love all of it. And I think next year, you know, after I get past my little Billy Broadway tour is there's a lot of States I haven't been to in a long fucking time, too long, and I'm gonna, you know, I only did stand up in Wyoming once, Montana, I've only been there a couple of times. I did Idaho in this last tour. I haven't been to the Dakotas in a while, Kansas and Nebraska,

like just sort of do a run through all of there would be amazing. So anyway, plowing ahead, I'm getting caught up on my Moto GP races. Looks like it's going to be another incredible season coming down to Jorge Martín and Pekka Benyai and then in coming up in third place the Beast Bastionini I've been watching all of that stuff and Paying attention to moto 2 because Joe Roberts is having a fucking amazing season I get got to get caught up on the moto too also, but just all good stuff. So I just realized I'm gonna clean out all those drawers in my bedroom. It's gonna make me feel great.

But then I'm gonna be like, now what do I do? Now what do I do? You sit there. I mean, how do you face your demons? I mean, I don't even understand it, to be honest with you. Facing your demons. All right, I face my demons, okay, and you sort of deal with it. The times I've tried to deal with it, as I just...

You always end up at the same places. Like, no matter what I do, the shit that happened to me still happened. So, why do I want to sit here and think about it? I don't know. Anyway, let's get to the let's get to the the reads here. By the way, you know, I was looking at the MLB standings. This is a wide open year. I think that last I checked the Phillies had the best record and

they were still just underneath 600 Nobody's even playing 600 ball So I have a weird feeling that this is gonna be one of these years that it's gonna be the you know Fourth or fifth horse is gonna get hot and take it I think I talked about that the last podcast but it's kind of fucking hilarious the amount of money that the Los Angeles Dodgers are spending Not to mention all their other fucking fiascos that for whatever reason just get swept under the rug.

The fact that they're really not looking like, you know, some juggernaut team that spent all the money. They're looking pretty, they're looking pretty goddamn human. So should be a should be an interesting year. Playoff, playoffs I should say, and football season's right around the corner. Okay, so here we go. Let's do the, let's do the reads.

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for a couple of years, you know, staying away from his like all encompassing influence. And I had a relapse. I don't know why I got this drum book. And I was playing along or attempting pathetically to play along to end my time of dying. And there's this little thing that he does when he's playing 16th notes on the hi-hat where he kind of lets the bass drum, you know, it was playing a pattern, the bass drum pattern

stops and he sort of opens and closes the hi-hat. It just fucking sounds unreal. And I was trying to figure out how to do it. So I got this book and I was looking at how they wrote it out and of course it was wrong. But the rest of the song they had, you know, they had shit that was right that I was playing wrong. playing wrong and just the fucking creativity of that guy. One of my favorite drum fills that he plays is in that song and it's not one of the crazy ones where he you know blows around the kit and comes out or fucking crashes on the and of one you

know so all that shit that he does it's just on the snare with the kick underneath it it's it's according to this thing it's in six four and you know what he's playing that yeah that that part where he's playing it don't look at that got good done to that but he's playing it. But he's playing like 16th notes and then it just starts going to Get it a data data data data data data data data data data data data data. I started fucking with that and It's like the the Phil starts technically on the one but it's his right hand is on the hi-hat he hits one and then E is left hand on the snare

with the bass drum underneath it and then you're just playing single notes, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, and underneath it, you're sort of running along with your feet except the right foot goes with the left hand, bass drum with the left hand, right hand is with the hi hat, which is basically sort of that thing when he does like his solos, when he would play Moby Dick was just sort of what he was doing underneath as he was going nuts on top. There's that, I'm sorry, that isn't in 6-4. It's that other fill where it's like, they got it all written out like the bass drum

underneath it. It's just so wild to listen to the way it is voiced. But now seeing it written out, it's like, oh, he kind of just took his hands off the hi-hat. And rather than playing it on the hi-hat, he played it on the snare. And he kept sort of the bass drum like how you would be playing if you were actually playing a groove except it's a fill and then some of the accented notes versus the unaccented note the guy is just a fucking genius and I was sitting there playing it like fucking 0.5 miles an hour and just thinking that this guy played this shit he came up with this shit like 50 fucking

years ago. You know, and there was nobody playing anything even remotely like that. And this guy just had the fucking balls to just blaze his own goddamn trail. And I do mean blaze. I'll post a picture of it. I'll post a picture of it on my Instagram page just so you guys for the drummers out there. Maybe I'll put it on the stories. I'll just have my favorite Bonham fill.

Just so you can take a look at it. If you play drums, just kind of mess with it. It's, it's, it's, uh, I, I, I took a picture of the, uh, the thing that's in six four, but that other thing where he's, he's like playing sixteenths with his hands and his feet and the opposite limbs are lining up is just fucking brilliant. And I remember on that Steve Gad up close video, they used to talk, he used to talk about exercises that he would do to free his hands up. And one of them was he'd have the left hand in the base right, left hand and right foot hit at the same time. He goes, I do that because it's weird. And like Bonham was like, this self taught guy doing that was Steveadd had like this drum core background and everything. I don't know, it's just, there's a zillion different ways to get to where all those great players got, but it's just a drum nerd thing that I was looking at.

And with that, with that babbling, let's get into some of the shit you guys wanted to talk about. Let me get my glasses out here. I have glasses now, I finally gave into that. All right. Billy Broadway, congratulations on the new gig. Looking forward to seeing you in Glengarry Glen Ross. Looking forward to see you. Glengarry Glen Ross is obviously one of the best plays of all time and

a lot of people's favorites. So I know I'm not being original by saying it's one of mine. The author of the play, David Mamet, is really prolific. He's written a lot of plays and books and screenplays, including Wag the Dog, an eye-opening classic. I was wondering if you avoided watching the movie again when you got cast, or if you've been incessantly reading the play to try and cram all those words into your ginger head. We're all pulling for you.

Go fuck yourself. That's hilarious. We're all pulling for you. This is a little outside your wheelhouse. I actually watched the movie last year. I got some buddies of mine that I write scripts with and do all stuff. And we had this thing for a while where we were doing movie night, bodies of mine that I write scripts with and do all stuff. We had this thing for a while where we were doing movie night, when we were editing old

dads just to give our brain a break and actually enjoy. When you're editing movies, you fucking hate movies because it's nothing but work. We had to remember why we were doing it, so we would have movie night and one of the nights we watched playing Gary Glen Ross and it's just incredible. But I don't worry about hearing. I haven't watched it as many times as I've watched other movies where I would have a hard time getting the original actor I saw doing his performance out of my head so I started to read the play and then I

put it down I had to get past like I had to finish my tour and I had to get this special done and edited and everything so now after I clean up those four drawers of horror, um, you know, that'll be good cause then I'll have nothing else to do. And then the demons start coming up and I'll be like, what can I do to stop the demons? I'm going to start reading this fucking play. So my goal is I do want to be ridiculously familiar with it.

So I don't, you know, I don't know, I don't have the biggest part in it. So that's good. And then there's a bunch of incredible actors that I'm working with. So they're going to be doing the heavy lifting. So I kind of look at this gig is like whenever I get to sit in with professional musicians playing drums. And you know, you just don't try to do too much. You just go fill right. You just lay it down and then they're going to make you look good.

So I feel like, you know, I am definitely in good hands, but I am beyond excited about it. And I'm really excited to be back in one of my favorite cities in the world, New York City, to do all of that, to kind of live there for a few months as at the age that I'm at, you know, different perspective on the city where when I first moved there was really intimidating and, oh, fuck, am I going to get anywhere in this business and how do I you know you know it's funny I the album I used to listen to to get all the negativity out of my brain and dealing with all the doors just slamming in my face when I first got there I would I would listen to there was a song song by Trippin' Daisies called Piranhas, and it was sort of

all about just dealing with people being fucking assholes and staying positive. You know, I don't know. But anyway, yeah, I appreciate the positive feedback that I got from you guys. I still can't believe that I'm going to... That was always a dream of mine. Once I got into acting, once I started to take acting classes with Peter Kelly at the Harrison Project way back in 1994, and I remember I started taking acting classes out of fear because I talked to a comedian that had been seen by someone,

the head of a network, do stand up and he killed. And then they handed him a script and he didn't know what to do with it. And then they just kind of walked away from him. And I saw that look of regret on his face. So that's why I started taking acting classes because I didn't want to fuck up that moment and then through you know getting into those things and you know there was a you know a lot of like stuff they would give you even a lot of

David Mamet stuff and all of these playwrights which I can't remember their names of course but I kind of fell in love with it. And that's when I started thinking like, you know, reading these plays, I'm like, these things aren't written so well. And I started going to plays and shit. And I remember I saw, I saw Philip Seymour Hoffman rest his soul and John C Riley and True West and they were flip-flopping the parts and I saw the one I went to was

when Philip was playing the crazier of the two and I just remember seeing that and it was like it was fucking electric and it was the closest thing that I had seen. To like a comedian killing or like an amazing musician or something, it had that same feeling when I was in the crowd or like that electricity. So. You know, I was thinking, man, that would be really cool to do that one day. But, you know, the age I'm at and stuff and I'm living in LA I really didn't think it was going to happen so the fact that it's going to happen well who knows you know that's

march is a long way off but uh you know if it happens it's it's going to be definitely a bucket list thing I'm very excited about it slash of course nervous all right next next thing CrossFit Games 2024. Hi Bill, the Olympics has been great to watch and all, but it's conveniently overshadowed the CrossFit Games this year. This can't be serious. The CrossFit Games, people working out is now a sport, a competitor named Lazar Dukic drowned in their swimming portion. What? Athletes who deemed themselves the fittest in the world called for lifeguards instead of attempting to help. There weren't enough lifeguards to help either way and they were too far away to hear athletes

screaming for help. After he drowned while searching for his body, they continued their winners ceremony. This sounds like Fire Fest meets the Olympics. The day after he died, they did a morning tribute and continued on with the competition as per usual With only about 17 athletes dropping out his brother who was also competing Has come out to say it was clearly gross negligence and that no tribute can bring his brother back. Oh my god This is horrible. Meanwhile, social media is full of, quote,

fellow athletes that, quote, knew him and, quote, continued to compete for him while tagging him and his brothers in their posts. I think it's pretty fucking gross to see people who clearly barely knew him that it has a leg up and social media recognition for being a good guy. Oh man you left out a word here. I think it's pretty fucking gross to see people who clearly barely knew him what trying to get a leg up on social media with the recognition for

being a good guy meanwhile athletes who actually knew him have dropped out of the competition because they think that it's disgusting how they kept going what are your thoughts also sorry this is so fucking depressing it's not Um... It's not surprising to me. It's a new event. And it's everything, everything is just about money. That whole thing, all of that bullshit that we're going to continue to compete in his name has nothing to do with him. It's like we have too much invested and this is gonna be our spin

that we're doing it for him. And then there's these athletes that got themselves into shape and wanna get somewhere doing this and they're choosing that over this other thing. That's basically what's going on there. And that's essentially other thing. That's basically what's going on there and that's essentially human behavior. It is also essentially why the world is the way it is. And this exists in everything. It exists in my business. Like it's always, when I, you know, when I was just like a stand-up comedian and I wasn't doing this other shit trying to make you know produce projects direct shit and everything I was sort of insulated from how business

works and how it works is you know these fucking corporate guys are just heartless people who only give a shit about money and they're they're basically their thing is is like, okay here's a job that should take 12 hours and then their thing is you know and you need we'll just make it round you need 10 grand in 12 hours to make it done and then they go great here's three grand do it in six and then they just send you in there and they don't give a fuck and they're like no this is all you're getting paid and they don't pay there and they don't give a fuck and they're like no This is all you're getting paid and they don't pay overtime and they don't give a fuck how long you're gonna be there

And they don't give a shit about the quality of it They just want it finished and they want to put it out there and if it doesn't make money they then blame you they don't blame The fact that what they were asking for with the amount of money and time wasn't possible. That's why I see people, they're talking about how, you know, there's not a lot of, you know, whatever. I want to get involved in that. I don't want to shit on other people's projects or whatever, but that's the world that, you

know, that's just the way that it works. So this is a new competition. And they didn't have the funds to do the right thing. So they some heartless person or some person just under the gun decided, no, we're going to keep doing it. Well, we're going to get shit for this. And then they try to go, we'll say that we're gonna keep doing it well we're gonna get shit for this and then they try to go we'll say that we're continuing in this person's honor rather than we're going to continue because we got all this money and then you know if people push back then they'll blame

the other athletes well we felt it wouldn't be fair to the other competitors who put their time in and you know, they always do that shit. So I agree with you, it's brutally sad and depressing. I haven't seen the footage so I don't know how it happened or how close the other competitors were, what they could have done to help the person. I have no fucking idea but unfortunately that's how it works which is why it is funny to me when people talk about Hollywood they've never been here they don't have any idea how it works like working on a show in Hollywood is basically a blue collar job even if you're in the writers room like how hard the all the crew works

the cameraman the grips and all of them, busting their asses and their bodies, lugging all of this shit around. And then even if you're in the writer's room, it's like mentally, it's no different than like whatever job that you do where they just stick you in a fucking cubicle and they're like Here's an impossible amount of fucking work that we want to done in an impossibly Small amount of time and we're gonna give you you know a Shit salary for it with no benefits. If you don't fucking like it, we'll find somebody else. It's really this sort of like hostile place

that this has all gone to. But eventually it'll hit a wall and unions will come back because unions are necessary. Because if they're not, these employers will fucking have a three-year-old in their factory working and won't have any fucking problem with it because they're just absolute fucking psychos and every quarter they have to make more fucking money and what do they do?

They blame the shareholders. It's not the fucking shareholders, it's you. And then they're legally allowed to steal from the company. They don't give a fuck about the shareholders. They're building the fucking company up so they can steal from it in bonuses. That's what they do. Come Christmas time, they give, you know, they don't give anybody a raise that's

out there driving the truck or busting their ass or building the shit. And then they, they give themselves like a nine figure fucking bonus, whether the company's even profitable or not. And it's totally fucking legal. And haven't gotten into it with some fucking shady characters with the most amazing fucking thing is the law protects thieves and it protects dishonest people. Just know this, it's way easier to prove defamation of character

than it is to prove somebody stole from you. So they can get away from stealing, and then you can't go around telling everybody that they're a thief because they can then after they stole from you, you know, say that, you know, it's defamation of character because they can very easily come up with a bullshit cost report to justify what they stole from you. That's been my experience. So, anyway, that was a long fucking answer, but, but let's go back to something positive. There's nothing stopping us from helping each other. positive. There's nothing stopping us from helping each other. Okay. Like I said, that show I did down there at that theater and Gardena like really just opened my eyes of the power that regular people have to help one another out. And I just, I hope that that's

the direction we go in rather than continuing to just point fingers at each other and blaming states and all of that shit. All right. Chiropractor perspective. I knew the chiropractors were going to write in. It's only fair. Everyone was calling them fucking witch doctors. And I was watching that guy yanking on that fucking dude's neck as he was screaming in pain.

All right. Hey, Billy Back Pain. I wanted to write in response to the chiropractic discussion. I am a chiropractor and I will say that I love jokes about us because I laugh at jokes about fat people and I'm not a hypocrite. But the guy that wrote in about us hurting people and being founded by a guy who believes ghosts cause diseases or whatever garbage he spewed is incorrect. First, chiropractic is extreme chiropractic it's not chiropractic first chiropractice is

extremely safe. There is a reason our malpractice is many thousands less per year than a medical doctor. No, it isn't. A medical doctor doing open heart surgery where at any point you could fucking die. Wouldn't you say the stakes are a little higher with an, come on buddy. Okay, okay okay point number

one i'm not going with that it's your your your your insurance is many thousands of dollars less because the end result of what you're doing is not death the way it is with the doctor okay there are risks to everything but the stats show that you are about 66 times more likely to be struck by lightning in your lifetime than to have a major injury from a chiropractic adjustment. Well getting struck by lightning is like a one in a zillion fucking thing anyway, and you're only 66 times removed from that. Dude, this is a terrible argument.

Tylenol kills over 500 people a year, and you can buy that at the grocery store. All right, and now you're going to defend your thing going like, they're killing people over here. You haven't said anything that it's good yet. All right, second, it works. Okay, here we go. All right, I want to get on board with you, buddy. We've been doing this for 18 years.

Who's we and doing what? The art of chiropractic, or chiropractic, he's only been around for 18 years. We've been doing around for 18 years. We've been doing this for 18 years and have helped thousands of people get out of pain. I guess he's saying at his practice, or her practice. Sure there are bad chiropractors, only about making money or not following the science and proper procedures.

Yes, you have that in all areas. I agree. Okay. But that happens in every profession. Okay. We agree there. Most of us are out here doing good work with good intentions. As far as the ghost thing, yes, the guy who started chiropractic was a little quirky, but medical doctors used to think that disease was caused by humors,

which were fluids in the body that caused all diseases. They believed this for over 2,000 years until the middle of the 1800s They also used leeches for treatment until even after that We've come a long way since the 1800s in medicine and in chiropractic. I guess that's what you call chiropractic I bet one could help you with your back pain issues I guess that's what you call chiropractor. I bet one could help you with your back pain issues. I got to be honest with you. I went through a chiropractor in a masseuse, and a masseuse was the one that did it.

My back pain issues are fine. I occasionally throw out my back, but it's not because of anything other than, it's because of the weight of what I'm picking up and the way I'm doing it is how I get in trouble. But I through stretching and going through to masseuses, my back is fine. Anyway, a very large percentage of the risk with chiropractic is in the next. So just ask not to have that area worked on if you are worried about it.

Love the podcast and go fuck yourself. Go fuck your sciatic nerve. My sciatic nerve chiropractic chiropractic did nothing for it. Did nothing for it. Offered temporary relief and then it came right back. A Jedi level masseuse got rid of it permanently. All right.

More corporate lingo. Dear Billy Burnout. Okay, so let's get back to chiropractic. I think that it's a, you know, when it's done by somebody that is good, I believe that it's probably good for you to get adjusted and all that, but I am a big, big believer on having an incredible masseuse work on you as much as you can. It's almost like putting stuff in the drawer and then one day it becomes like this fucking four-hour project rather than dealing with shit. I'm a big believer in getting a massage even if your body doesn't feel

bad just keeping it where it needs to be and I'm a big believer in not saying I'm a big believer every time you make a point sorry. More corporate lingo. Dear Billy Burnout I know I'm late oh good let me get the glasses on here. I fucking love my glasses It's like a Superman suit your eyes become young again I know I'm late to the company pizza party on this one But I thought I'd share some phrases I hear at work that have been driving me nuts Number one, here's the thing. Let's take this offline. Oh God, what are you gonna pour shit in the water supply?

Is for when you're having a conversation with one person, but you don't want to make everyone else in the meeting sit through it. Only problem is my company is fully remote. We're not taking anything offline. Let's be real. Number two, level set. I guess this means to get everyone on the same page. Most of these phrases I've never heard growing up and only heard once I got into the corporate

world. Right sizing. I've heard this used to describe reducing our office space. Yeah, this is what they always like come up with some sort of positive way. Yeah, right sizing. There's too many people working here. Let's fire some people. Let's we need to do some right sizing.

I've heard this used to describe reducing our office space, but I wonder if it's been more nefariously used to refer to mass layoffs as in we need to right size our workforce. Yeah. That's the... It's really the language of sociopaths. Uh, sunset. It's just a bastardized way of saying, retire or you're no longer gonna do something.

We can sunset this process in January once the contract expires. Why wouldn't you just say end? We can end this process in January. We can sunset. You added a syllable in a... I guess sunsets are pretty to look at. Deliverable is another one. This one has been around forever, but it's still stupid.

It means the items or tasks you have to deliver to someone. Another word I've never heard outside of work. You know what I fucking, the thing I hate hearing when I have an acting gig is copy that. Copy that. People start talking like they're on a CB, like a director will come in. Okay, we got that. Can we try it this way?

Maybe this time, you know, not as angry, play a little more like you're discovering it before you get into the anger. And then the actor will be like, all right, copy that. Copy that. And then I always tease the other copy that. Yeah. Over and out. 10-4 good buddy. Whatever happened to okay cool? Copy that. It started because there's people on set that have a fucking walkie talkie and they say something and you just go copy that or whatever. Like that's how, then the people just started saying it to someone that's right in front

of them. So that lingo is a lot of times because when you're using that type of communication, stuff can be misconstrued. So copy that is really clear. It's kind of like an aviation where you say niner instead of nine because I guess it can sound like another number. But that's when you're talking over like radio frequencies. But when you sit there talking to somebody, they're right in your grill and they can hear

you. Just say, copy that, it's just fucking weird to me. But maybe I'm an asshole. Anal retentive. Anyway, hope you're enjoying your vacation. You should be glad you don't have to hear this shit every day of your life. I am. And I also know that the fact that you have to listen to this is why you enjoy coming

out and seeing stand-up comedy. This guy says, good luck right sizing your new special. I'm sure that deliverable will be great. No, will be an asset. Thanks for reading and go fuck yourself. All right, here we go. Buy the bike. Hey Billy Bananas, I hope that you make the decision to purchase the motorcycle you talked

about on a recent podcast. Oh yeah, that's going to happen. Here's my take and some ideas for you. First some background. I'm 51 year old pasty ginger who drives a semi truck all over the country. I have witnessed every type of horrific driving imaginable. Here's my suggestion of what I do. I store my ride out of the city and drive there to pick it up for a cruise. Just cruising around

back roads for an hour or two, put it back and drive the car home. I usually do this early in the morning about sunrise. I'm thinking you could even store your bike out of town at an out-of-town airport and chopper there, go for a ride and chopper back. You don't seem like the type of person who's interested in the hey look at me rider and just wants to enjoy fun excitement and escape from it all. It's truly great therapy for me. Anyway I hope anyways I hope you decide to get it.

The passion in your voice about it was clear clearly evident. Yeah it was fucking life-changing and I think there was a reason why I was always drawn to you know the road king road glide sports glide I just I've never been like a speed person and how you're describing Riding is exactly how I do it. I don't ride in Los Angeles ever. I don't Where I where you know, I have access to an airport hanger and that's where I'm gonna keep it and But even then this sort of a sketchy ride to get into the hills. So And but even then this sort of a sketchy ride to get into the hills so Enter my fucking Ford truck and a little trailer that you can just put it on and what I'm gonna Do is just tow it out of all of these people texting while driving and then just sort of ride the canyons

during the week Also, I won't even do it on the weekend because on the weekend I know that there's you know The kids that want to go fast and they put on those riding leathers and they want to tear through the canyon and I don't Want to be in their fucking way? You know, it's funny I do that in aviation too like I don't fly really on the weekends Although I did yesterday I did fly yesterday but Generally speaking I fly during the week because during the week is just professionals and there's not a lot of like weekend warriors like me and there's a couple of airports out here that like if I just get that vibe that it's a little wild, it's a little loose or something, or it's just always busy, those uncontrolled ones, I don't go to them. Like there's one out here,

Cable. It's a beautiful airport. I've gone there before and my big thing about C cable is not the airport. It's there's this this basically this corridor of airspace between Ontario and bracket. It's not bracket airspace, which is a Delta and it's not Ontario, which is a Charlie. It's general airspace. So a lot of these guys taken off from cable, which is like just northeast of Bracket. And if they want to go south towards Orange County, they bang a left and they don't want to talk to the Bracket Tower or Ontario. They just want to be able to cruise. So they go tearing through. Not like they're flying.

They're flying way faster than helicopters do because they're planes, they have the ability to do it, but they're flying at a helicopter altitude and whenever I'm going into bracket, when I'm in that airspace, I'm always, you know, I look at my avionics and I'm also looking to the right up to the north to make sure they're not tearing through there cutting through To basically go down the 57 or whatever the fuck there. They're on their way, too So I always do that. I always make sure

I've had great instructors that always teach me that stuff about always keep stuff You know keep the odds in your favor so like You know, I always want to come in to land. You know, if there's a lot of sketchy stuff before the runway, I always come in. I come in higher than I normally would and faster than I would. So if I have a problem, I can auto and make it to the runway. You know it's usually you know once you turn base you start your descent you know 300 feet per minute but if I just see like a bunch of houses railroad tracks trees or just you know uneven surface and

shit just I don't I don't see a place to put it. I sort of maintain my altitude. And that's one of the great things about having a helicopter. Is that, you know, I can just then just do a steep approach. As long as I'm continuing to move forward. I won't get involved in settling with power or any of that shit. I know this is all like nerd shit, but I do know some pilots listen to this shit. So anyways, that's the podcast I Am currently yeah working out a deal

with the Harley Davidson guys They heard my podcast and everything so we're trying to figure something out Maybe some advertising on the podcast little you know little, little trade for play there. And I am so fucking ridiculously excited. And what's funny is like, I want to get this road glide and I don't want to go a zillion miles an hour. What I want to do is just fucking ride through the canyons on the fucking week days with nobody around and just enjoying the work of art that that bike is. with nobody around and just enjoying the work of art that that bike is. And then it's just great for me mentally.

You know, I stay ahead of the fog, the demons, the demons, you know. It's like staying out of, you know, my mental vortices. That's what I plan on doing. All right, so that's the podcast. I'm gonna get all caught up with all the other MotoGP races this week, so I'm looking forward. I don't know where the next one is. I looked at the flag, it was red and white. I'm like, is that in Poland? I don't remember them ever going to Poland. I have no idea where they're going. But once again, it's coming down to the wire. It's gonna be an amazing, amazing bunch of races, a bunch of races right through to November. Alright, that's it. Go fuck yourselves. Have a great couple of days and I'll check in on ya on Thursday.