Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 8-15-22

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

Bill rambles about a consumer altercation, the population debate, and farmland.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm not checking in on you. Today's the Monday morning podcast. That's what it is. Oh, Jesus Christ. Anyway, I'm on vacation here. I'm not really on vacation because I have the biggest gig of my fucking life in six days. Six, five, four, three. It's just sitting here with the damn thing like just hanging over my head. I just want to go do the fucking show. Jesus Christ. It's so funny too. It's like the last day of my vacation. So the whole, my whole vacation, I can't fucking relax because I got this giant gig. Just fucking sitting there. I feel like, you know, like in between like the AFC championship game and the Super Bowl when they would used to have like a two week break. I don't know if they still have that. They go back and forth. You have that one Sunday where you just don't play. That's what I feel like right now. Or it's just like, I know it's going to go great, but I'm sick. I'm sick of like fucking waiting to do it. Let's just fucking, let's just do it. You know, so I think I've been a little on edge here. You know, I've been having a great time. I bought a Patriots fitted hat the other day and like it just quickly escalated into the fact of like, you know, if I say one more thing, I'm actually going to have to fight this guy.

And he was like six, five, 300 pounds. It could have swallowed me like a fucking Komodo dragon. So once again, I just had to like not say anything because I'm five, 10, 180, 54 fucking years old. You know, it just started off so in, innocently. I was like, Hey, do you have this hat in seven and three eighths? You just have seven and a quarter. And he came walking over and he starts sifting through and he hands me a hat and it was seven and a quarter. I said, No, I said seven and three eighths. And the guy was just like, he goes, No, you didn't. I go, Yes, I did. He goes, No, you didn't. I said, I said seven and three eighths and he goes, I know what you said. You said seven and a quarter. And then it's just fucking escalated to this ridiculous fucking level. And I just had to sit there and just be like, All right, he's way bigger than me. He can beat the fuck out of me. And I just have to fucking take this, right? And then I like for half a second, I was like, I'm not going to buy the hat like he gives a fuck. You know, and then what? Then this guy's a douche. And then I also don't get the hat I want. No, fuck that. I'm going to get the hat.

And then I just walked out and I was so fucking pissed. Like the way I got past my anger was thinking to myself like that guy's not going to be alive in 10 years. At the height he is and the weight he is because he wasn't muscular. He was fat. But you could see he used to maybe be play some sports. He fucking blocked for Emmett Smith. So it's just like, you know, he'll be dead in 10 years. Okay. So if you're ever wondering what it was like to be in Boston and experience the atmosphere, that's what it's like. Being in Boston is going in and just trying to buy a fucking hat of the local sports team and some little fucking confusion about the fucking size. You're now hoping that the person who sold you the fucking hat actually began the sale and then just sort of fucking walked off and let somebody else handle it.

You're just hoping that that guy's going to be dead in 10 years. Like that's the thing that is so you can go get on with your day and not take it out on other fucking people. It's unfucking believable. I just wish I had the ability when he said you said seven and a quarter. I even though I knew he was fucking wrong, I should have just been like, oh, I'm so, oh, my mistake. Oh, did I? I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. My mistake.

I guess I don't know, you know, I guess I don't know a meal. Sorry, my kids are downstairs. I said more of my fucking hat sizes. I guess I don't know what that is. And I guess you do. You fat fuck. Fucking dickhead. It was a food order.

He would have heard it. You know, I swear to God, dude, and everybody has this fucking story. Do you know when I was driving up here? I'm driving up here. I was going to the airport. The guy driving me to the airport was a Yankee fan. He told me 30 years ago he came up here because he always wanted to see Fenway Park since he was a kid. He had respect for the park.

He comes up here. He's Puerto Rican. He's got New York plates. Somebody calls him a racial slur. And next thing you know, you know what he did when he went to Fenway? He didn't go in. He didn't go to the game. He walked up to the park and he took a piss on it and fucking drove back to New York.

That's what this place is. That's what it's always been. And I'm just hoping these younger kids who are all claiming that they're woke are truly woke and they'll finally turn this place around because it is such a great place and I do love it. But when I come back here and I just try to buy a fucking hat and I get so mad, I'm wishing an early death on the person that started to sell me the hat and then just tapped out because of his own fucking childhood issues.

I think to myself, you know what, it's kind of great that my kids aren't going to grow up with this. We'll just visit once a year. We'll come in. We'll get some fucking clams. We'll go to a couple of games. We'll drive around. We'll have some bar pizza.

We'll visit the relatives and then we'll just get out of here. And we'll go back to fucking LA, which is completely racist in an entirely different way. It is amazing though how much people don't understand Los Angeles at all and they just think it's all like, oh, everybody out there is so fucking plastic and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like as far as LA goes, like Hollywood is like the size of like a postage stamp. And the rest of it is a bunch of fucking lunatics, you know, gun owners, fucking racist fucking lunatics.

And I'm not saying gun owners are racist. I'm just saying they think it's all fucking hippie-dippy out there. It is. In Hollywood it is. The second you get outside of that, forget it. Forget it. It'll give any conservative fucking city a run for its money. But that's not what people fucking think of.

Anyway. So yeah, so I spent a couple days here, as you can tell, I'm fucking on edge here. I just really just want to do this fucking show. I just want to do the show, just do the fucking show, all right, instead of like tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. But in the meantime of it having a great time, you know, we found this great coffee shop that has an absolutely incredible espresso up here. It had amazing pastries and breakfasts, you know, they have like fucking, on the weekend

they have like lamb hash or whatever. I didn't try it because I'm trying not to be a fat fuck for this gig. But you know, really nice place, like one of those food network kind of places, you know. So we're standing there, it was like Saturday, so you know, it was a little bit of a line and it was moving or whatever. But you know, so there's this couple behind us and the woman says to the boyfriend, it's just like, oh man, it's kind of a line here.

You want to go someplace else? What do you think? You want to go, go someplace else? And he's like, yeah, this place is a fucking shit show. It's like, it's not a shit show. They're not fucking up the orders. Nobody's screaming and yelling. It's just the line that, that like that alone makes it a shit show.

It's a fucking shit show, a shit show. It's too crowded. I don't want to wait. I get that. But it's not a shit show was a very well run fucking restaurant. And you didn't want to wait for eight people to order whatever the fuck it is that you want to fucking order. So now don't it's a fucking shit show.

Dude, the post office is a fucking shit show. All right, going to the mall over Christmas is a fucking shit show. That's a shit show. Standing in line with eight people in front of you with fucking every option you could possibly ever want for breakfast. I mean, dude, they had it all. Avocado toast, fucking French toast, all the fucking toast. Any fucking pancake you want.

I mean, it was fucking Eden is where the hell you were at this fucking shit show. Anyway, none of this has to do with anything other than the fact that I just want to fucking, you know, I just want to do this fucking show like on Saturday, I took my daughter to her first game and when I went into Fenway, that's, you know, actually at one point I was, you know, because I was obviously taking in the fact that I was taking my kid to her first game, which was so important. It had to be at Fenway had to be the Red Sox. I wasn't going to make the mistake that my West Coast friends make where they go to a fucking

Red Sox game on the West Coast, they go to like Red Sox versus the Angels. And then like the Angels mascot comes up to the kid and fucking tosses him on the head. And then that's it. Now the kids are fucking Angels fan, not doing that. I had to take her to Fenway. We had to take the green line, had to get off at Kenmore Square, walk up the hill, go over Mass Pike, listen to the scalpers, all of that shit and go in, you know, walk past where that poor guy who got called the bad word, the fucking racial slurp pissed on the park.

Um, and went in and we ended up having, we had a great time and my daughter was totally in it, you know, into its Wally, the mascot or whatever, which I've never been a fan of. But now that she waved, he waved or whatever, you know, up to where we were sitting. My daughter was convinced that he was waving at her by the second inning. She said to me, she goes, Hey, dad, what do you think about this? What if I said this? And I said, what? And she goes, Red Sox win, Yankees lose, Red Sox win, Yankees lose.

And I was just like, that's right, buddy. That's fucking great. I didn't say fucking, but I'm like, that's great. So I got her on board, hopefully. Um, but we just had like the best time. My daughter's big thing was she wanted to eat cracker jacks because of the, uh, take me out to the ballgame song. So I got a great picture of her cute little hands opening up her first

package of cracker jacks. Um, what else? We took the train over there. We got some great pictures. Um, but, you know, it was also like her, uh, you know, her bedtime, you know, so by the third inning, she was zonked out. So we only, you know, she's only five. We made three innings and then we went down to the pro shop across the street.

I got a hat and she got herself something. And then we cruise back. It was a cab sitting out there. We jumped in and went back to our hotel and, uh, it was just like the perfect day because earlier that day, I'd gone by the hardware store and I bought a wiffle ball and bat and I was pitching to my, uh, my daughter right in the Boston commons. She was fucking hit, you know, getting a lot of hits.

I was so proud of her and then my son wanted to go up and hit and cause my daughter's a lefty. He started swinging lefty too. So I think they're both going to throw right and bat left, which I think is pretty cool and, um, you know, it was hanging in the park, but just the two of them and my wife, and then they have the, uh, make way for ducklings. We rode on the swan boats. Yeah, it was just, and it was just like the perfect day.

It was like 72 degrees out like both days. Like the whole thing was perfect, which was so funny to be in the middle of that paradise. Any of that guy going, oh, dude, it's a fucking shit show. Well, my son's on one today. All right. I'm going to have to fucking wrap this podcast up. So, um, anyway, well, Jesus only done 13 minutes.

What am I talking about here? So anyway, uh, yeah. So I'm back up here. I actually did a spot at Nick's comedy stop. Uh, I got to work with the great Mike Donovan, one of my favorite Boston standup comics and somebody that I learned so much from when I would open for him way back in the day, um, particularly, uh, his use of the microphone. And he was really cognizant of when he was being loud and taking the microphone

away and he had all these different little subtle tricks that would add to what it was that he was doing on stage. And he used to do this great, um, impression of the local, uh, play-by-play announcer for the, uh, Boston Celtics, the late great Johnny most. And, uh, he's almost hold like the microphone sideways and cup his hand over and would just do like this dead on Johnny most, uh, impression. But anyway, he was, um, he was headlining. So I went down and I opened for him, um, at the place where I started 30 years

before and, uh, same goddamn place. They've redone it a little bit, but it's just still the same place. Every time I walk in there, I expect to see the late great Bobby flank a kid. Shut that fucking door. That's what he always say. Hey, Bill, Bill, shut that fucking door. Do me a favor, shut that fucking door. That was like his catch catch phrase.

Shut that fucking door. And then when you go up the stairs and you make like the two turns and as I come up there, I always expect to see the late great Kevin Knox standing there, looking at the lineup with the pen in his hand and the piece of paper, you know, in his fucking brave heart level mullet that he had. And then walking in and looking to the left and seeing those four red shares that would have like Patrice, Dane, Bobby, Kelly, someone else. Every time I have that exact memory and, um, yeah, but I go in there,

obviously nobody's there, which is weird. But then I go on stage and it's still the same, the same room. So I went up, I had a good time. I tried out some of the Boston stories that I, uh, yeah, I might tell the Fenway gig. If that gig, gig ever happens, um, I still can't believe I'm going to do stand up there. It's going to be fucking amazing. And I'm, I just, I'm chomping at the bit here, people.

I could literally, I swear to God, I could just, there's a dresser here. I could just fucking know off one of the goddamn handles here. I'm just like, let's fucking go. Um, anyway, I know, I gotta, I gotta be careful with that energy because my wife's going to be like, what's going on with you? Come on, we're on vacation. Oh, fucking hell of a good time. Um, but she's right.

She's right. So, um, I threw my back out, walking up some stairs, walking up government center, coming back from the north end. Um, I went over there. I, uh, smoked a cigar. It's whatever the, I never can remember the name of that because it's such a crazy fucking name is it stanza? What the hell's the name of the place?

I'm going to get, I'm going to get it done right now. All right. Hang on a second, cigar bar, north end stanza, de cigar, that's what it is. That's what it is. I went down there, smoked a cigar and just shot the shit with some fucking hilarious people. It's Italian chick from Austin, Texas. Who didn't know how to cook, which I thought was hilarious.

My cat is an Italian end up in Texas and she was talking about how her dad got transferred down there or something like that. I'm like, you don't know how to cook. She's like, no, she's like my dad can cook. I'm like, he never taught you. He's like, no. Then I go, all right, what part of Texas? I go, I love Texas.

What part of Texas? She's like, Austin. I went, ugh. She goes, why? She goes, what part of Texas do you like? I go, Dallas. She goes, Dallas. She goes, it's all just fucking phony and fake and blah, blah.

I go, that's what I love about Dallas. There's an honesty, you know, they're just trying to fucking, we're Texas. Everything's bigger here. Look how big my fucking bed is, right? There's just something funny about that as opposed to fucking Austin, Texas was a bunch of white people pretending they're, they have money problems. Anyway, I was just teasing. I don't know shit about Texas, but she ended up, you know, it's just an

afternoon crowd and then I got my place where I go to get my sandwiches. And there's a bakery right next door to it. It's not on that main drag, whatever that street name is that they've turned into a one way street for whatever fucking reason. They just turned it into like a one way street. And they just, and they didn't make it a two way one way. They just shut down the other lane. I don't know who comes up with that shit.

It's like, it's totally congested. Let's just make it impossible now. And then they always think that people are going to choose public transportation and they just don't. It's like that stupid fucking HOV lane. Nobody uses it. It's motorcycles and a couple of fucking old ladies on the way to some lunch time special and everybody else is just jammed up in this other lane.

No one has ever been like, Hey, you know what? I think I'm going to start going to fucking work with my friend. Nobody does it. Nobody bill. I don't know. Not enough. So I was coming back from, from the north end, walking back over to my hotel. And I was going up the stairs of government center and I ended up throwing out my back.

It's finally better after like two days. I'll tell you what's stupid is when you throw it, you're back and somebody wants to give you a leave or Tylenol. And it's like what? So it can mask the symptoms that I actually threw out my back and I can fuck up my liver in the process or I can sit here and stretch and work it out. Hey, work it out. Okay, baby.

All right. So anyway, that was kind of my trip out here to Massachusetts. So far, I'm going to hang with the family, you know, have a good time and all that type of stuff. And then I'm going to try to run out and do spots here or there. So my axe stays tight. Oh, look who it is. The lovely Nia.

Hey, how fun. I was joking about that guy. It was place to fucking shit show. What are you doing today? Nothing. Nothing. All right. What an asshole.

A lot of nothing just like your act in case you missed that case. She was too far away. Oh, I did watch the end of a great movie last night that I had never seen that my wife was telling me how much she loved the movie to die for, starring Nicole Kidman and Joaquin Farrer. It was loosely based on the Pamela smart case where she was a 22 year old banging a 15 year old and she convinced him to kill her 24 year old husband. Because she didn't want to get divorced and lose some money.

And then she also had life insurance on him. And she was like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. And then she also had life insurance on him. One of the more fucked up. Stories I remember growing up. It was a lot of fucked up cases. There was the other one where the white guy tried to blame the black guy.

You five oh, you five oh, that one. The fuck was his name jumped off the Mystic Tobin bridge. And they arrested like every black guy in the fucking city or harassed him or whatever. And then it turned out that it was the white dude and he killed his wife. Spoiler alert. The fuck was that one called? I can't remember that one either.

But anyways, we watched that movie and it was done. Just the way it was shot, the whole thing was fucking amazing. Just dude, Joaquin Phoenix is just that guy's always been a great actor. He was already a great actor. And he was like a teenager when he did that one. Obviously he's playing a team and Nicole Kimmon. I think that that was like one of the, some of the best work I saw her do. And I never, I didn't remember when that movie came out.

I think it came out like 95 when I looked it up. And that's just when I'd, right as I moved down to New York. So I was so focused on, you know, getting standup gigs and not going broke. So I could actually pay my rent that I missed out on a lot of shit. Like, I know everybody's excited that they're going to make another heat. I don't think I really ever saw the first one. I don't, I think I saw it in the movie theater, but. Yeah, I can't remember that whole part of my life.

When I first moved to New York at 95 until about 2003, it's just a blur. Of like scratching and clawing and trying to get gigs. So I wouldn't end up, you know, fucking homeless. I know the Yankees won a bunch of World Series then. I knew sports. The Red Wings won a couple. The Sabres got fucked on that in the crease call. I remember that.

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And with that, Jesus. What did I just do here? Let's get into some of the questions. Some of the questions for the day. Hey, I won't you play another. Somebody asked me a fucking question. Um, by the way, what are the odds for? I want to see what the odds are for the Yankees to win the World Series.

You know, because now I'm getting fast. I'm getting fascinated with this shit because it looked like they were going to run away with it. Let's look at the fucking stats here. And this is all I have right now. And all you Yankee fans just know that I am hating because I got nothing left. MLB standings. All right.

We're finished for the year. Yankee 72 and 43 last 10 though, two and eight. Fucking blue Jays three and seven. Can you make a fucking move? They're 10 games out. The devil raise or 11 games out. The Orioles at 12 and a half. Oh, look who's in the cellar.

The Boston Red Sox. That's actually a good division. I mean, the fact that we're in last place, we're only two games under 500. That's not bad. Um, yeah, look at these other fucking divisions. They got people 371, 414, 357, 443, 447. You know, that those are some weak divisions. All right.

Then he got the Houston Astros, um, this 75 and 41 in the Cleveland Guardians, 61 and 53. So the Astros have the best record in the American league followed by the Yankees. Now wait a second. Now wait, wait, just one goddamn moment here. Yeah. So the fucking blue Jays, they added some player. I don't know who they're, they're in the lead for the wild card and it would be them versus the Marinus.

Yeah. I think, uh, I guess the Astros would be their biggest fucking problem. You know, but they kind of got caught now. So I mean, what are they going to do? The Astros that is, they can't bring out the fucking, they can't bring out the cameras and the trash cans again. Um, the Mets 75 and 40, they went eight and two of their last 10. And then the Dodgers went nine and one their last 10.

There's 79 and 34. I don't know. What do you think? That's a tough one. I feel like the Yankees, despite the last few years, I still feel like push comes to shove. They have the history and I feel like they step up. I feel like the Dodgers always fucking choke. The Astros, I don't know.

You know, if they don't have a trash can, can they do something? And then he got the Mets, they always shit the bed, but the Cardinals are in first place. And I feel like they always do well. I'm just talking historically. It just seems like that's what ends up bad. Look at the Braves. Braves are 70 and 46 defendant champions. Maybe they sneak in.

Maybe that's what they do. I don't know. But I can tell you what I do know is we're not Red Sox are not making the playoffs. All right, diaper population. Uh, let's see. Any chance you could tell Bill that Japan sells more adult diapers than baby diapers. I really got a kick out of yesterday's episode talking about the underpopulation must stuff.

Yeah, but the Elon Musk shit I was talking about that he was sitting there saying how people are having less babies and that that's how we were going to go extinct. Like if we were in danger of becoming extinct, people would start to go back to having 10 babies again. The fact that he would just suggest that we be like, well, I guess, I guess we're going to go extinct is was the dumbest fucking theory I've ever heard in my life. And I just thought it was a classic example of a guy who's considered smart, just trying to be interesting with his own fucking offbeat take.

I don't buy it on any level. As far as Japan goes, they live on a fucking island. They've run out of space, right? They got all kinds of problems over there. I get it. I get it. They more adult diapers than baby diapers. Well, man, I don't know.

I don't know what I don't know what that proves. We just went through a fucking pandemic and we were still out fucking that as much as it was killing all of those people, the world population still increased. So I don't know what to tell you, but hey, I'm not Elon Musk. All right, I'm not Neil deGrasse Tyson. This is my thing about those guys. I want to see those guys talking to other science, other scientists. And blowing other scientists minds.

I'm sick of these guys just to do a recap. The Musk's, the Tyson Fury guy, one of Neil deGrasse Tyson guy. I'm so fucking sick of them talking to shitheads like me. I mean, it's a layup that you're going to blow my mind. How does the moon affect the tides? Dude, think about that. Somebody figured that out. I mean, that's who he's talking to with me.

Is it that hard to come off as intelligent? All right, population studies. Bill, on the topic of population, Elon's reasoning might have been too pedestrian. I have actually written to you on the topic in the past. The population is not growing at a healthy rate. It's virtually a unanimous opinion among those who study it for a living. I have never come across any scientific or economic paper that agrees there are too many people. How is that possible?

I've come across shit that I've looked up that was saying like once you go past three and a half billion people, the planet can't sustain it as far as like our ability to live here indefinitely on the topic of the planet. The amount of waste we produce is not proportional to the population directly. Different societies produce different amounts of waste. When all of this is considered, it does not change the outcome of the scientific opinion on population. OK, I was with you to that last sentence. What this sounds to me is people moving numbers around

so they don't have to fucking deal with like you're just going to be a contrarian. Well, you know, there's way more people in India, but America has like 50 times the fucking waste. OK, so a billion people, you know, shit in a river isn't bad, too. Like there's too many fucking people. I don't care how you slice it. OK. Rainforest is getting chopped down, species are going extinct, the ocean is fished out. I don't give a fuck how you slice it.

There's too many fucking people. That just is and you're not going to move some shit around with the numbers. But, you know, I'm open to it. You convinced me that there's not too many fucking people. I know I'm just pedestrian. All right. All right. But I think like the Elon Musk thing saying like this, you know, there's more old people than younger people

and that younger people are not having as many kids. And that's that's how we're going to go extinct is fucking ridiculous. I think that we would notice like, hey, man, there's only like a hundred of us left. Maybe we should start having more babies, you know. I think that that would probably happen way before you got down to 100 people. I don't fucking know. All right, owning a scale, owning a scale. Hey, Bill, there is all pretty obvious stuff here.

This is all pretty obvious stuff here. Well, I'm not the brightest guy. Here's you talking on anything better about how Paul should own a scale. Anyone who doesn't own a scaled and isn't in perfect shape is a moron. I'm a former fat fuck who is in denial about my fat fuckness. First thing I did to change my situation was to get a scale. Can you please send Paul a scale so we can monitor the results? He's not going to do it.

He's not going to do it. I can just tell you that right now. He's he's not going to do it. You know, I don't know how to put it. It's just like I walk around all the time going, I'm a fat fuck. And my wife goes, you're fine. You're fine. You look fine.

You have body dysmorphia. It's like, no, I don't. I don't. I'm in I'm fucking informed on I'm fucking informed. Like how much and I've been walking around with, you know, an extra 10 pounds for like almost two years now. I've just been so fucking busy. I can't get over to the gym as much as I need to.

And I just need to get to the fucking gym. That's how I stay in shape. And just an extra five pounds walking around on that, like how much that shortens your life because each pound of fat is like something like some crazy amount of like five miles of capillaries that you got to grow to keep that part of your body, you know, the new additional skin and fat and all that alive. And that's every heartbeat, your heart has to go an extra five fucking miles. You know, there's people that are like, you know, it's like that dad who wanted

to fight me last week, like he thought he was like a fucking husky tough guy. It's like, dude, you're a fat fuck. When he was going, like, what are you like a buck, 80? I weighed 180 in high school. It's like, yeah, dude, you should probably only weigh 185, but now you'll dude, he looked like he was every bit of 230, 100% fucking obese, 30 pounds overweight is, you know, it's, you know, obviously, if you're fucking eight feet tall, maybe you're not obese, but 30 pounds overweight, you're fucking obese.

And this guy was like twice that, but he's walking around, you know, one of those guys that still eats fucking shit food, but, you know, also still does pushups. So he thinks he's like in shape. And I think you can have reverse body dysmorphia where you can be a fat fuck and not think that you're a fat fuck. And I think there's a lot of people doing that. There's a lot of people out there just buying bigger clothes.

And, uh, you know, they do that thing, that thing where they just sort of bring their hand down the front of their torso. I'm not that bad. Not that bad. It's like, dude, you're a fucking house. You're a house. Listen, I'm like 10, 15 pounds overweight. And I have, I already have difficulty with like, you know, taking my shoes off

and stuff like that. Like I've not like I'm breathing hard, but I just, my stomach gets in the fucking way, not enjoying that at all. So, um, that is like my big thing. When I finally finished editing this movie and was so goddamn close, um, I'm going to get myself in shape, get on the other side of Fenway, the other side of this movie, and I'm just hitting the elliptical every fucking day and eat well and, uh, I should be fine.

That's my big thing. Um, and I should get on the scale. I haven't got on the scale because I already know what the fuck it's going to say. All right, um, farmland frenzy, uh, dear Billy, all the live long day, all the live long day. What is that? I've been working on the railroad.

Oh, is there a guy named Billy in that song? Oh, don't you hear the whistle blowing? Yeah. Dino. Once you blow your whistle. All right, you're right about the food supply. My sister is an agricultural scientist. She's been into the earth man for a long time.

She doesn't listen to the podcast. So I couldn't get her to write in about her story. So here's an abbreviated version. She wanted to save the earth. Her whole life, parentheses, dork started getting into clean food initiatives that funded research on what's going on with our foods. This brought her into the world of cancer research, which has a strong correlation, uh, cause cancer rates just keep going up and we've got cancers that now occur 1000

of per sense more than they used to. Yeah, this is pretty loosely written, uh, which then brought her to fighting the corporate global takeover of the food supply by supplying independent farmers with legal help and anything else she can provide them through raising money. This is what people should be doing instead of focusing on dumb shit like the color of ties or jokes that comedians are telling. She probably tried to protect the food supply. Um, all of this has sent her down rabbit holes.

She never knew existed rich people are buying up farmland and now governments are making huge restrictions on farmers that will knowingly destroy their production and make it harder for areas of the world to get food. News never covers these protests. The restrictions are unreasonable and not planted saving measures by any means. This all takes a toll on her and I try not to say, I told you, I told you say, I told you so I think cause I would always tell her that the Illuminati is real and there are a whole cities underground populated with different species of aliens that work without

government. Jesus Christ, dude. That was you were driving right down fucking main street and all of a sudden you went into the cornfields there in the end. You think that there's underground cities with species of aliens that work without the government. Now let me ask, how the fuck do you know that? All right.

Now I got to look this up. See what you guys do to me here. All right. The underground cities populated by aliens. All right. Derun Kayu underground city is an underground city in an ancient multi-level underground city. What?

That's a turkey. The alien underground half a mile below the surface in a cave too hot to explore without an ice pack suit. What? Underground alien bases, flying saucers come from inside. All right. I think this is more what you were talking about. Underground alien bases, flying saucers come from inside the earth, exclamation point,

an intelligence agent's shocking report. Flying saucers come from inside the earth, proof positive. Aliens have established underground bases around the planet. Ancient tunnel system has existed on earth since the time of Atlantis. Three entrance ways can be found in many major cities. What get the fuck? All right. Let's see.

Underground city entrance. Guide to the underground. Well, this is in Montreal because it's freezing out. All right. Illuminati. Let me watch this. Inside the underground city below DIA. What is DIA?

He shouldn't have gone down the Illuminati underground Manchester graveyard entrance. Finally uncovered. Finally. This is a YouTube video. Oh, listen to the music. All right. What is that? All right.

Here's the safe thing to assume, okay, that if there's a TV show about the Illuminati, there's going to be no good information or a video. I mean, what are we doing here? But that is disturbing what they're doing with the farmland. What the fuck is wrong? Are we going to buy up all the farmland and then what destroy their production and make it hard so what you can drive the price of food up? I just don't understand like the level of fucking evil that's out there.

All right. Overrated, underrated, underrated, getting dumped. Oh, yeah. Getting dumped is definitely underrated. You know why? Because you have the broken heart, so you don't have to deal with the guilt. And then, you know, once you kind of get through it after a couple of months, you're like, wait a minute.

I'm single. This is fucking awesome. This guy says, or this woman says, I was bummed out for about three months when my ex dumped me. I thought we were in love and happy and on our way. But after some time, I was thinking, okay, yeah, I can see what she's saying. Now I'm single and I do shit I want to do every day that I made excuses for when we were together.

I love that she dumped me now and didn't try and do it later. That's amazing. And I'll tell you, the best thing that you could do for yourself and your happiness is do not let your ex know that you are excited that she dumped you. You know, now it's three months have gone by. You know, it's very, it's a very weird thing when you run to an ex-girlfriend, you know, you got to be cool, but you can't be happy. You know what I mean?

And they just see it like, what's going on with you? There's something different about you. Like, what, what is it? You're just like, what, you're just happy? Wow. That makes me feel insecure like it was my fault. So now I'm going to mind fuck you and get you all messed up again. So I'm going to be like, yes, see, there it is, there it is, so I back up there underrated

threesomes. Those things are, they're underrated. I just had one and it was awesome. I've heard people say, man, that's too much work or you wouldn't know what to do. Fuck that. I promise that every man or woman knows exactly what to do. I had no training and everything worked out just fine. Well, good for you.

Um, why would someone say, man, that's too much work, man, that's too much work. Like they're turning down threesomes. Somebody says a threesome is too much fucking work. Well, I actually, I was going to say that they never had one, but I would say this. I remember, uh, Axl Rose a long time ago, I think talking to Howard Stern was asked, was talking about threesomes. He goes, yeah, you know, somebody always ends up feeling left out and I'm sure he had.

So I don't, I don't fuck it. Hey man, I don't fucking know. So anyway, that's basically the podcast here, people. I know I only did like 50 minutes or whatever, but I am on vacation, man, and I got to go play with my kids and I'm getting ready for, uh, getting ready for Sunday. I'm just sitting here like on pins and needles. And then the next moment it's like it's not even happening. So I knew this was going to happen because for months people going, are you stressing

out about this gig? I'm like, no, I'm not even thinking about it. I'm just working on my act. I'm pretending like it's not even happening. So I think, uh, I'll have one little minor freak out, I'll get past that and then I go up Sunday and it's going to be fucking awesome. And, uh, and when that shows over, that's when my vacation begins. I'm telling you that right fucking now.

All right. I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm obviously going to have a great fucking time, but, uh, it is what it is, right? Um, and with that, I'm going to go play with my kids. Um, is that it? Was there anything else I had to promote? I got Toronto coming up. I got Buffalo coming up.

Another place in Pennsylvania, um, and then maybe Maryland. I have no idea, but all I know is football's coming up. What? What? What? What? Uh, Pat's looks fucking great. I mean, I know it's just a preseason game, but I liked how our defense was looking and,

uh, I'm just fucking psyched. I can't wait for college football. The whole thing is going to be great. Uh-oh. Here come the kids. All right. Have a great couple of days. I'll check in and I'll check in on you, uh, check in on you on Thursday.