Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 8-21-17

Episode Date: August 21, 2017

Bill rambles about gambling on baseball, Adam and Eve and snooping.

Now at Proximus, the perfect deals with a 1 plus 11 for 0 euro at a mobile subscription. 0 euro? That doesn't make sense. I don't want to either. Amai, do you feel my heart beating? Oh, that's a good ringtone for that new 1 plus 11 for 0 euro. Information and information on Proximus.be Proximus, think possible. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill. Oh, that's really loud.

Hey, that's really fucking loud there. What's going on? It's Bill Burr. And it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, Monday, Monday. August 21st, 2000. Jesus, I got a cough drop in my mouth. I got a hall's mental elliptus. You're not going to want to listen to this, are you? You know what? I don't have time to start it over again.

I just don't, you know? One of the weirdest things ever is when you have to go on a microphone and you've got a fucking hall's in your goddamn mouth and what, like, how do you make it go by faster? Am I supposed to just spit it out? Is that what you want from me? All right, I will. I don't know a way to go here. You're just going to have to hang on a second. Just hang on, hang on, hang on, fuck on and spit this fucking thing out.

As long as I make noise, it's still a podcast. It's still a podcast as long as I make noise. All right, I'm back. I'm back and I got the energy. All right, this is the Monday Morning Podcast for... It's for fucking August 21st, 2017. You know, they ain't got no August over there in the Middle East. You know why they don't believe in Christ? You don't believe in Christ, God's like, well, you know what?

Then guess what? You ain't got no more August, right? That's why they're so mad all the time. The summers goes by so fucking fast. That's true, man. You can look it up. Go look it up on the pooter over there. Shit. I'm in a great fucking mood. I got a bunch of shit to do as always, as always. I'm recording this quarter to five California time on Sunday, you know,

and I put all this money down on the Red Sox, right? You know, I've been betting the Red Sox gambling, okay? I'm betting on the Red Sox. Two of my friends are Yankee fans, right? It's on there. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. All this fucking shit, all rise, courts in session. Can we hear from the bailiff? We get it. His last name is Judge.

Jesus fucking Christ. How do people in sports get away with the fucking puns? They're just basically the newspaper industry in general. My God. Have you reached a verdict? Yes, we have, Your Honor. That was a home run. You get it?

They're so bad. They're so... I wish... I just wish Sweet Caroline was as funny bad as all those Aaron Judge puns. If they could just make it that fun, as opposed to just watching a bunch of people who you know on fucking Black Friday have their face pressed up against the Walmart window going, da, da, da, right? How that song became part of the tradition.

When the fuck did that happen? When did it happen? When will it go away? You know? It's bad enough they say take me out to the ball game. They never used to do that in the seventh thing. He just stood up and stretched and then Harry carried to it. And it was great. You know why? Because he believed it and he was shit-faced.

And he was hanging out the fucking window and you're like, is that guy gonna fall? You know, you know those guys who booze their whole life. They get this big round belly and then they got those little pretzel rod sticks. So when he started getting a lot of that fucking keg out the window... You know, that's why they have that net above home plate. You know what I mean? Over the fans. You know, that goes back to, it has nothing to do with foul balls.

It has to go to back in the day. There was so many fat alcoholics sticking their head out, you know? Doing God knows what back then. You know, I imagine initially they were just amazed that they weren't on the second floor of a structure. Sticking their head out like, you know, gee willikers, how the hell does this thing stand up? There's people underneath me that I can't see, right?

Then that gradually morphed into holy shit. Look how far, you know, oh, ladies and gentlemen, ah, Babe Ruth here, really far, really fucking far. And that morphed into that. And then somewhere in there it was like, oh my God, is that a black guy on the field? You know, they've always been hanging out the window for years and years and years. And that's why that net was there.

Everybody thinks it's to protect the fans. It's not to protect the fans. Back in the day, everybody wore a hat and they were fine. Okay? The ball wasn't juiced up. It was the dead ball error. It'd go up in the air. You know, those people were tough back then.

They built railroads with their fucking hands, you know? And that's just the Chinese. Okay, forget about the people that fucking built the, I don't know what, the cotton gin. All right, I'm off the fucking rails here. I don't know what I'm talking about. All I know is that I'm like, all right, I got to get back into baseball, you know what I mean?

I'm an old man. It's a slow game and then all of a sudden it gets exciting and then it slows down again, right? Just like that thing as you get older every once in a while, your heart does something and you're like, am I going to fucking die here? Okay, no, I'm good. All right, that's what baseball is. The rest of the time it's just fucking sitting there, you know?

Like waiting for a cough drop to dissolve so you can start your fucking podcast. That's type of shit. So anyways, I decided out of the fucking blue to bet with two of my friends, both Yankee fans, right? One's a Yankee and Giant fan. The other Yankee and a Patriot fan. Figure that one out.

It's one of those Connecticut stories, right? You heard of a Bronx tale? This is the sequel called Connecticut Story. And this guy's a Yankee and a Patriots fan. One of the more bizarre combinations of fans I've ever seen. So I bet 50 bucks each a game. So they stand to lose 50 a game, 50. I'm dropping a scene note of picking it up on the last two series.

We've won two out of three on both of them. So all freckles here is up 100 bucks, right? Is that right? Let's see, I was down 100, then I was even, then I was up 100. Then I was up 200, then I was up 100. I'm up 200 bucks. 200 balloons, right? I loved it.

I almost made it next to 50 because the guy's going, dude, I'm telling you right now to fucking Aaron Judge, you know, everybody's going to rise and court's going to be in session and they're going to reach a verdict and then he's going to hit it. I get it. I get it. He's going to hit a home run. And I was like, you fucking cocksucker.

That guy's like all for 50 with guys on base against the Red Sox the last couple of weekends. Of course the guys do. It's goddamn Paul Bunyan going up there, swinging the bat. Then I thought about it. I was like, all right, fuck it. I'll bet you. But I was voice texting and I said, I'll bet you 50 bucks.

He doesn't. But it wrote, I bet you fixed 50 bucks. He does it. And then I didn't hear back from him. And I was like, all right, you got until, you know, midnight tonight to get your bed in or the offers off the table. And he said he fell asleep, but he was probably sitting on like, well, dude, I said he was going to do it.

Why would you? I said he'd do it for 20 bucks. Then you said, you also think he's going to do it for 50? I think I weirded him out. He hasn't called me all day. So that might be the end of that friendship. It's funny how that happens, right? 15 year friendship can end on a voice text that somebody doesn't understand.

So anyways, the Red Sox took the fucking series and you know why they took the series because we spent 200 million fucking dollars and God damn it. You know, we better beat the fucking Yankees if we're going to spend that kind of money. I didn't want the Yankees spent this year. I just know they have most of their own draft picks. So it really doesn't matter, right? Or does it? I have no idea.

Do you guys see in Spain, they set up 800 checkpoints to catch that fucking cunt. Did they catch the guy? I don't know. Desperate to ease public fears and neutralize a terrorist cell responsible for the deadliest attack in Spain. Are they going to neutralize the terrorist cell? It was actually going to, I guess, going to be way more deadly, but the fucking dopes accidentally blew themselves up and trying to make a bomb.

That's the greatest thing that can happen. That's my favorite terrorist story when they were building it and then it fucking blows up. It's such a fucked up world, man. It's just people on both sides that are just out of their fucking minds. I don't get it. I just don't get it. Why can't you just fucking be like me and, you know, battle booze and watch sports and

get excited about things that don't matter? Why do you have to have a fucking cause and get all into some invisible fucking guy that you never fucking met and then everybody around you has to die if they don't think the way you think? What is it? There's a tipping point in religion. And it's a combination of, like, you believe too much and you got too much fucking, I don't know what, you know, I just do a bit about that.

If you have, like, too much power and you get too much into fucking religion, like, it always goes bad. You start oppressing other fucking people, you know? Like, when my people really get into Jesus, white people, it gets fucking scary, you know? Black people get really into Jesus and that's a fucking great service. Killer band. That's it.

They're confined. White people. It's an open fucking field. Whatever the fuck they think, they just, they just, they run with it. No checks and balances. That's the problem. So I don't know what goes on with these, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but I don't know what goes on with these people.

The fuck you convince somebody that their last fucking move on the planet is you're going to walk into a, to a group of people sitting there watching a show or eating a fucking slice of pizza and you're going to kill all of them. And then God's going to be like, hey, nice going. Hey buddy, I want to talk to you, you know, I would have done that, but I couldn't dig to thank God you thought to do that. I don't know. So anyways, so good luck to Spain.

I hope you eradicate those cunts right out of your fucking beautiful country. Anyways, why do I talk world politics? Well, I know why because it makes you guys feel smarter. Right. Hey Bill, maybe next time you bring up Spain, maybe you could fuck, go fuck yourself. I'll do what I want. Oh, by the way, I got some, I got some, I got a giveaway this week for the first thousand people.

All right. Now wait a second before you take out your fucking first, the first thousand people that text a particular phrase to a particular number will win some all things comedy merchandise that basically stickers. All right. Text it. Is that what it is? Yeah.

And I'm just letting you know that, that this is so they can build up their email fucking database and let you guys know what's going on with their site. Okay. So it's fucking transparent what we're trying to do here for the price of a sticker. That's what we're trying to do. You know, we're trying to get more social media and all that type of shit because we've got big shit coming up on all things comedy relaunch the website next month. Burke Kreischer has a cooking show on there called something's burning.

I'm going to be doing those road rage fucking videos where you got the fucking camera on me and all of that shit. And then the person that did whatever they did, Felipe Espars is going to be doing a home improvement show. Basically, your favorite comics doing the shit that they like to do being funny. We got a first day and a special release with Paul Verzi. We got a bunch of stuff going on and talks of yes, all kinds of other things, sports shows and all this type of stuff.

So we're trying to got to let you guys know what's going on. So here's what you do. If you want a sticker, if you don't want to do it, don't fucking do it. But if you want to do it, all you need to do is text all capitals, no space. Bill Burr, B-I-L-L-B-U-R-R, two, four, four, two, two, two. Reggie Jackson, Doug Flutey, Derek fucking, oh fuck that, Jerry Remi, the RemDog. It was his day today. I would have said Derek Cheetah, 44, 22, two, two, fours, three twos.

You got it for a sticker and then we'll be bugging you, letting you know what's going on with all these great shows we have coming up. You know, we got Bobby Lee, we got Al Madrigal, we got all these fucking people. All right, we have Ari Schiff, yeah. All right, so anyways, and I got to be honest with you, after these last six games, Red Sox Yankees and having money on the game, I got to be honest with you, after all these years saying Pete Rose shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame, the man was right. Betting on baseball, it makes it better.

It does, it makes it fucking, it makes you care. You know, you think October baseball is exciting, put your paycheck on a fucking game in August. All right, you don't need Joe Buck and all those extra fucking microphones to make that exciting. Dude, am I going to get a Camaro with T-Tops? Am I going to be homeless? You know, that's the type of, that's the type of stakes that you want to raise. I'm calling it right now, Patriots, Giants, the rubber game. This year's Super Bowl, Patriots finally fucking win, right?

No helmet catch, no fucking Brady the Welker fucking two foot pass that goes incomplete, no Asante Samuel dropping the fucking ball, none of that shit. We're finally going to beat those cunts and you know, why Tom Coughlin? No Tom Coughlin's going to be the difference. I love what the Giants are doing. I think, I think they're going to, you know, and they got fucking Eli. He's got ice fucking water in his veins. All right, that team is looking good.

All right, and I'm telling you that team's looking good because I've paid attention for about eight minutes during this preseason and I've just been hearing a lot of chatter about weapons being added and field goal kickers and all of this type of shit. And people questioning Eli, right? As he sits there in his dockers and his fucking, you know, I don't know what he's, you know, he always looks like he just did the right thing the way he dresses, right? The loafers, the fucking pants, the sweater, you know, just like he, he dresses the way I should be dressing at my age and he's like fucking 12 years younger than me and the man

gets the fucking job done the later the season is and forget about in January. The man is lights out. Okay. Telling you, telling you it's going to be a rematch and we're going to win and I, that's the fucking team I want to play. That is the fucking team I want to play because we got nothing to lose. They got everything to lose because if they're 2-0 they can talk shit for the rest of fucking time. I want another shot, right?

The fuck, 2-1-0, 3-0, I don't give a fuck. Doesn't make any difference. But if we get that last one, be like, ah, then we can give him shit. Ah, you know, what the fuck, you know, it's not they say I'm going to drop the fucking ball and it was a screenplay, you know, whatever, whatever, we got you. Then it's, then it's over. Then we, we got that thing we could say back. That's what I'm saying, you know, because I ran through a couple of giants.

They're like, oh, no, you don't fuck or what? Why don't we want it? They're just logos at this point. Eli's probably the only guy left from that 2017. And I bet at least, I don't know, three quarters of both teams are gone since the last one. That's why I never get into those types of stats going like, hey, these guys historically have not done well. It's like, it's all different people. It's all different people wearing the same clothes with better drugs, better drugs, better drugs in their system.

Okay. Just like the drugs that was sent to a particular quarterback's wife. Okay. Because she hurt her arm taking cookies out of the oven. Okay. It was a complete non-story. However, had that guy taken a quiff worth of air out of a ball, all of his rings would have been questioned. That's how it works.

Okay. We're taking callers. You know what I did today? I'm, you know, you know, it's funny. I did so much, so many fucking positive things today. So many, this podcast is not one of them, but I did so many fucking positive things today. You know, and then my wife, my wife, she still had the nerve to be moody. And I don't know about you guys, but what the fuck goes on?

Thank you. I don't know about you. I don't put up with that. I don't put up with the moodiness. Okay. Come on. What do I got to do here? What happened?

Fucking thing just died on me here. There we go. I don't put up with that moody shit. If I did something, you got me. I'm sorry. All right. I said, I'm sorry. No.

That moody shit. If I do fucking nine things right, and then the 10 things wrong, and then you're going to get all moody with me, I swear to God, I swear. I just, that's it. You know what I do? I go, hey, grumpy, what's going on? And if she doesn't fucking snap out of it, then I just shut down. And then, you know, I'm fucking German Irish.

You want to play the silence game? I can do this all, I can do this forever. All right. You think there's a lot of silence and master of none? Let me tell you something right now. I can do fucking silence. I don't know why I'm making this motion with my hand. I grew up with that shit.

Rage, silence. You know, days going by. Hey, you dumb cunts all going to stare at the sun tomorrow. Do yourself a favor. Just wait for the pictures. You know what I mean? Looking at a fucking lunar eclipse or solar eclipse, whatever the fuck's going on here. It's a lunar eclipse, right?

Is it the lunar eclipse? There's the one I learned that when the earth is between the sun and the moon, the moon turns red because it deflects the fucking light or something. The only reason why I know this is because this shit's happening on Monday and one of the writers in the writers room knew this shit. And then there's the other one where the moon passes in front of the sun. Oh my God. There's having happened for 37, 38 fucking years.

Did you just see that little, not a meme. Was it a jiff that thing going around about that newscaster? It actually really used to like, used to watch him when I was a kid and he said, uh, that eclipse that I was, uh, there's not going to be another one in 38 years. And let's hope that when it fucking happens on a world that knows nothing but peace, you know, and everybody's like, wow. Wow. He said that.

And then wow. It's just like what he, we've never been at peace ever, ever. Never will be. There'll never be world peace. There'll never be world peace. The level of violence that would have to occur for there to be peace. You'd have to be the last person on earth. Cause if there's another person, if there was just two people at some point, the other

person is going to annoy you and then there goes the peace. Right? That's what happened with Adam and Eve. I hate to tell you at all you people out there that believe we came from fucking the ocean. I actually believe in, in, in creationism, whatever the fuck they call it. All right. There was two white people that started all of this and somehow we had all the other races out of them.

He's two white people, right? Adam and Eve and they got annoyed with each other. So she goes for a walk, right? The snake gets in her ear. Next thing you know, right? She goes over and she bites an apple, which for whatever reason is, is healthy. It's a good thing. It's got fiber in it.

You know, I don't understand why the man, the invisible guy was upset by that. Cause you know what it was an apple with the sugar in it, like because there was no weed or coke or meth or anything like that. Like apples were, I guess the heroin it back then and he said, let me tell you two little shit something. All right. You want to live in this fucking garden of Eden here? We'll do you.

Stay away from the fucking apple tree. That's it. She went down and she probably, Hey, you know, I'm going to eat one of those fucking apples and fucking what's his face? Whatever. Was there a brother? I don't know what went. None of that fucking, is anybody religious listening to this shit?

How to fuck the two white people? Okay. Fuck and create all different races of people. Forget about that. How if you just have two, two fucking people and then they bang and then what? How do you keep it going? Their kids have to fuck. Exactly.

You had nothing, didn't you? Their kids have to fuck. And then their kids, kids fuck. Is that how we went from Adam and Eve to fucking cavemen? Neanderthals and those other fucking people with those slopey foreheads, you know, and that, that fucking Frankenstein brow, which I kind of have, is that, is that what happened? Because Adam and Eve banged and then their kids had to say to sit down and say, children, you have to fuck one another in order to keep this thing going.

All right. None of it makes sense. None of those stories fucking makes sense any more than the fat guy in the red fucking suit going down a goddamn chimney. Okay. First of all, if it was fucking true, all these new homes without fireplaces would not have a Christmas. What are parents who live in houses without fireplaces say?

You know, up on the house top reindeer paws out jumps good old Santa Claus looking for a chimney, but there isn't one gets back and say, you have no fun. Go fuck yourself. Right. No goddamn toys. Go fuck yourself. Go to child world. All right.

That's that's part of his contract. You leave cookies and there's a fucking chimney or that's it. It's over. That never deadly. He has no interest in anybody who's not Christian. He makes toys for everybody unless they're not Christian. You know what it is? It's just everyone.

We were tribes and we had these traps and we just came up with these fucking stories. And as it expanded and everybody started fucking interacting all the holes in our shit, you know, once you got that global view, they'd all fucked up. All of a sudden the world wasn't flat, you know, depending on what basketball play you talked to, it was round. All of a sudden you'd find out that it was fucking round. These people aren't Indians. They're not from the fucking.

They're not from India. They're from America. America. Right. The greatest fuck. Oh, by the way, I forgot to say, you know, if you go to tech, I just fucked up. If you go to text that thing, we're not sending a sticker overseas, by the way. This is just for Americans only.

And by Americans, I mean United States, America, maybe Canada. I don't know. You can't do it because it's a fucking sticker and then they got to fill out forms. I should have said that earlier. You know, I should have done a lot of things in life, but I got to tell you, we're not telling you guys that, you know, if you text that fucking number and it's international, the sticker's not coming. That's probably one of my biggest regrets.

Other than the fact the last time I didn't watch an eclipse, you know, there was a guy wishing for world peace the next time it came around. And now here we are 38 fucking years later, 38 years later. Are we any closer? You know, I'm sure somebody said that in the 1940s after fucking Hitler and Stalin and all that shit. Hey, you know, there was a, uh, last night there was a typhoon. I hope the next time there's a typhoon, it's, uh, killing innocent people in a peaceful

world. It's never going to happen. Well, Jesus, Bill, now with that fucking attitude, the children have to fuck when we return. Part two of the Adam and Eve story, the story no one wanted to show you. Um, all right. So when he was, I've been, uh, let me fucking minutes into this pile of shit podcast that I do. Am I 25, 26 minutes, people, 26 minutes is some of the most ignorant shit you're ever

going to listen to. Yeah. You continue to listen. You continue to listen. Um, all right. You know what I did? So I did all this productive shit today. And yes, my wife, she started pulling the grumpy thing.

Right. Like I was going to wake up this morning, but they'll do it. And I was going to go play drums. All right. Which I'm still going to do, but I'm going to do it tonight. Okay. But I could tell she was tired or whatever. Okay.

The advantage my wife that your lady has is when the kids crying, they always have the option of the boob. Bam. Instant. Shut it. Right. Puts the kid to sleep. They feel comfort and all that type of stuff.

The only way that a man can compete in that arena is you have to either put the kid in the car and drive around the block a few times or what I think is better. You just put the kid in the stroller. You just walk around the block. Now you're burning some of your dad bought calories. You know, your kid gets to look around and see a bunch of stuff. Fucking acid trip. Birds flying around jets, cars, trees.

Right. Everything's amazing to them. And then eventually they fall asleep. So anyways, I could tell my wife, my wife was really sleepy. So I said, all right, you know, she goes to be really nice. You can just take it for a walk because she was up and my wife wasn't. And I was just like, all right, I was going to work out. I'll go play drums.

You know what? Fuck it. I'll do it. So I did. Went on a nice long walk. Did the whole thing. We had a great time. She finally fell asleep after like 20 minutes.

She finally falls asleep. And then I walked around like extra, you know, taking extra long, you know, walk home and you know, walking further past the house, coming back up, come back up. You know, my wife's still downstairs. I can tell she's still sleeping. We hung out. We had breakfast together. Right.

I watched a little of the Jerry Remy, you know, Jerry Remy day at Fenway Park. Just did all of that. And then she didn't come upstairs to like fucking, I don't know, 1130, 11 o'clock or something, something like that. And she goes, all right, let's go out today. We said we're going to go out. I'm like, all right, let's go out. Let's go out.

So she gets the kid ready and everything but the fucking shoes. I try to put the shoes on. I just can't do it. I can't do it. She tries to kick them off. I start laughing and I can't get them on. And I finally got one of them on and I realized they had it on the wrong foot. And I was like, fuck it.

I undo the buckle. And then I finally got it on right. And she just kicked it off and I just laughed. I said, I can't do it. I can't do it. And I left. She was like, really? And I said, yeah.

I go, look, there's some things you're better at than I am. You're just better at this, right? So I leave. She goes, where are you going? I said, I'm going to go watch the Red Sox. She goes, well, come down here and watch it. So I said, okay. So then I went upstairs and she told me how her tire pressure was down.

And I was trying to remember how to do that because I knew I had the tire pressure fucking thing, you know, you stick the thing on there so you don't over inflate. You don't under inflate. I'm looking up that. We got a little water bubbler. We're all out of water. It's a good opportunity to clean the fucking thing. I'm looking at shit like that when I'm up there.

So I didn't go back downstairs and she came upstairs fucking pissed at me because she spent like whatever the next 15 minutes trying to get ready with my daughter downstairs, which I understand. That must have been a pain in the ass, but I was up there fucking, you know, yeah. So yeah, she gets in a mood. Now she's in a mood. Not yelling, you know, not flipping out. Just in a mood, you know, they, you know, when they get in a fucking mood, they get this

look on their face. They stop looking at you and they make sure that they keep walking into the room that you're in, you know, as you talk to them and they barely say anything back. So do you know what? So you know what? Come on, guys. Let's, let's learn something here. So you are aware that she's in a what?

Oh, Jesus, somebody's in a mood. I'm sorry. Did I do 99 out of a hundred things? Jesus fucking Christ. So she's in a fucking mood. Then I got to go out, you know, because I got my fucked up driveway. I got to get my car out of the way, bring her fucking car out because you got to get the fucking air in the tires.

Oh, and I'm out there. Oh, you think I'm mutter? I put on a clinic of muttering. Fucking kid up the goddamn fucking hill. Come down and make a fuck. Fucking bump that deck and clean out the water bubble. And I got to come home. Right.

Henry Hill. Um, so that's it. I mean, I'm like, all right, I will match your mood with an even dumber mood. So that's it. So then she starts to sense that I'm in a fucking mood. Now with her mood, put me in a fucking mood. Now she's sensing that I'm in this fucking mood. So now all of a sudden what does she do?

She starts flipping it around being nice. Right. And I'm just giving her fucking quick answers like Jerry Lewis, rest his soul. Passed away today. Dick Gregory a few days ago. And now Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis, arguably one of the funniest human beings that ever lived, ever lived. He actually spoke at my college graduation and he was phenomenal.

He did the parent student breakfast. And when he did that, he was crazy, Jerry. And then when he spoke in my college, he was coming down the aisle. He was still crazy. You know, they bring people in. Yeah. And I'll fucking the fucking with the Dean and all those people come down with their, we have a special colored tassel, you know, we're higher than you.

You know, they come down in their robes where he was coming down and he put his hands on the shoulder of the person in front of him. He had one of those dumb hats on too. When he put his hands and when he walked down, he was just going, oh, he came down. Everyone was dying laughing. But when he went to give the speech, he was telethon, Jerry. It was great. You got to see the full gamut of the guy.

Absolutely loved that guy. That guy made me laugh like nobody's business. So very sad day. And Dick Gregory, I learned about him obviously being a comedian a long time ago. I read that book callous on my soul. All those stories about him being one of the first black guys to ever work like white rooms. You know, the playboy mansion in Chicago playing that because what's his face there? Hugh Hefner was cool enough to let him play there.

So rest in peace to both of them. So anyway, so now this all pales in comparison to those two comedy giants. All right. So I matched my wife's mood with my mood. All right. So now she's not that all okay. Now she's trying to be nice to get me out of my fucking mood. Cause then she realizes this is all silent, by the way.

This is all body language, all Kurt little answers. One of these things. Now she realizes that, oh, I took my mood too far. I overly made my point, which justified him now being in his fucking mood. Right. So then at some point she finally just goes, Hey, are you just going to like, she goes, are you going to be in a bad mood for the rest of the day? I'm like, I'm not in a bad mood.

I'm in a great mood. We have an awesome house. I tell jokes for a living. We're going to go get, we're going to go out today. I'm in a good mood. I have the day off. I am in a good mood. You on the other hand, I don't know.

She goes, I'm over. I'm over. I go fine. It's like, he's just going to like, you know, like not talk to me. I said, look, we're going out shopping for kid shoes. The second I see kid shoes, it just puts me in a good mood. They're, they're, they're fucking adorable. Those little Jordans, the little shell toes, kids clothes are the cutest fucking things

ever. They're not even for kids. They're for adults. See some little sport coat. You're like, oh, yeah, you can't help it. So I told her, I said, just let me get to the fucking kid sneakers and then that'll put me in a better fucking mood. Do you know what I saw today?

It's some fucking over on La Brea. They got this, they got this store. It's just all these crazy signs and all of this basically junk to shit from businesses that shut down or remodeled. And this guy just has all these fucking sad, sad, sad. So I'm walking up and they actually had the old school, the little McDonald's. The little McDonald's arch with the arrow that said drive through open 24 hours. That's what put me in a good mood.

All that, all the childhood memories. We were a McDonald's family. We were not a Burger King family. That was a big thing back then. You know, nobody talked politics. You didn't talk fucking religion. Okay. You talked about sports and what do you like better?

Coco Pepsi. Coco Pepsi, McDonald's a Burger King. Those were the big fucking debates back then. And I was old. We were McDonald's fucking family. We used to go to this McDonald's. I don't even know where the fuck it was. It was like in Peabody or North Reading way back in the early seventies.

It was off. It was near these railroad tracks. And I remember there was these fucking seagulls and pigeons and shit. And you'd be eating outside and then throwing them French fries. And then you got to see a train go by. And it was the cool, this is like pre iPads, pre fucking, you know, internet. There was nothing to do cartoons week. Our UHF antenna was busted.

I could only watch cartoons on Saturday. So this was a big fucking deal. I'd always get a cheeseburger, small fry and a chocolate shake. That's what the fuck I had, you know, for a long fucking time. Past when it wasn't filling me up, you know, but you were afraid of your dad. It's like, I'm not going to ask for a quarter pound of cheese. I don't know, I don't know what this is going to do to the whole dynamic. Everybody's in a good mood.

I'm not, I'm not going to try to fucking go up a size here. That's how Americans got fat. Once dad became, dads became their kids friends. They weren't afraid to fucking supersize their meals. The last four years of ordering a cheeseburger, small fry and chocolate, shake, I was still, I was fucking starving at the end of it. Eyeball in my younger brother's cheeseburger. Like he going to fucking finish that.

Huh, your little fucking gummy bear. You know, you fucking teeth. I'll eat it. So anyways, I saw that thing today and I was just like, I would fuck it. I don't know. I'm not into junk. I'm not into stuff, but there's something about that thing. I just think it's fucking cool to get it fixed up as the, the, uh,

the fucking base was all bent and shit. But to fix that fucking thing up. I was like, I just, I was, I'll stick that at the end of my driveway. Have that thing lit up. My wife, my whaps like, you know, say, you know, neighbors would hate us. It's like, I know they hate us. I would never stick it out there if I had like, you know, find some giant fucking house, right?

You know, and there was some sort of, I don't know what, you know, those fucking houses, those, those Republicans have them, you know, and not saying there's not rich liberals, but the Republicans live in those states where you can fucking have a house and then another house on your property, you know, you have an old barn, you know, and you just let your wife, your wife gets the fucking house. Then I'm telling you, this is my fucking dream, my dream, right? Um, you know, but I mean, I would love to live,

I can't live out there in a racial couple. I can't go out there into fucking Nazi land, you know, all these fucking people marching around. Um, but anyways, I would love to have a fucking old house in one of those states that still has clean air if it even exists. And you just got a giant fucking, what used to be a barn. And on the bottom, you'd have your daily driver, your classic car and like a fucking sick motorcycle.

All right. And then up top, I'd have it fucking closed. There'd be a, I always told you this, be a drum room fucking place to work out. And the rest of it is just a fucking cigar bar, you know, and then some stupid fucking reason. I would find a place for that McDonald's drive-through sign. You know, and the more my wife hated it, the more it would drive me into the barn. Now at Proximus, the perfect deals with a Samsung Galaxy A54

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Oh, look who's here. It's our old friend's old zip. Are you hiring? What are you? Do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates? Talk about the challenges of finding great talent and or the importance of finding great talent to a successful business.

Well, I'll tell you, I gotta tell you, you know, when you're looking for somebody, you gotta make sure you get the right person with all those people out there that are fucking morons. It would really be great if there was a way to zip through all these mouth-breathing morons. Thank God for zip recruiter. How zip recruiter is different?

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I almost read that. How has zip recruiter been advertising with me this long and they don't really have stupid eyes? You fucking... You never saw Anchorman? God damn it, who put that question mark there? That's me. If it's there, I will read it. Stamps.com, everybody.

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I use Stamps.com because, why? Because every once in a while I sell fucking posters after my show. I go out and meet the crowd and goddamn it, post office. Okay? And if my assistant can figure out how to fucking use Stamps.com, then goddamn it, so can you.

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Stamps.com, never go to the post office again. You know, I'm one race behind with the MotoGP. I really fucking enjoy that. And I actually, I think I like it better than Formula One because there's all kinds of passing. There's no passing

in Formula One, it seems, after, you know, as far as the first guy. That's my big complaint. And they're like, oh, there's all this amazing racing in position four and five and six. Well, fucking show that. But anyways, let me, let me just plow ahead here.

Me on these, no, no, I already did that. Let me, let me ask, no, I'll read the questions for this week. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. All right. Okay. Boyfriend's Facebook. Oh, this is never good. All right. Hi Bill, straight to the point. Me and my boyfriend, we've been together for two years

now and we're happy, smiley face. The thing that concerns me is that a few times on his Facebook messenger, I saw that he is sitting on a weekly basis with an ex college a colleague of his, a beautiful young lady.

The thing is that they were close at work back then, but he quit three months ago. And I just don't believe in male-female friendships. I'm talking from experience. Also, when we were, basically, if I, you know, if we're having a conversation, if we're talking, eventually we're going to fuck

is what you're saying. Also, when we're watching some videos and stuff on his, on his phone in the search field, I saw a list of a few girls' names. Other than that, he has been great to me and hasn't shown any signs of a man whore yet.

Am I too suspicious or do I have the right to worry? Thanks and go fuck yourself. I don't fuck. That's not enough. That's not enough information. I wouldn't, you know, this ex colleague that's a beautiful lady. Yeah, that's weird.

That's, you're right. That's fucking weird. I don't know about the fucking phone shit. That's, I have no idea. I have no idea what that's about. But that, that thing there, yeah, that's definitely red flag. You know what I mean? Like, well, put yourself in his position. If you were fucking, you know,

close with some guy and you left the job three months ago and you're still chat on Facebook and, you know, here's the thing about women that they can sit there and be like, oh, I thought we were just friends. They seem to be able to get away with that. But I would always say to the woman I was with

them, it's like, listen, can I tell you something? That guy wants to fuck you. Okay. I don't care how much you have in common and how you both like fucking Rose or whatever the fuck it is. And he really listens to you when you talk. He wants to fuck you. Yeah. So I don't know

what you do there because you went on his Facebook and you're snooping. So that's one of the things, you know, if you're going to pull that moment, you better be right. Because if you're not, then they get to play the, you know, how dare you snoop? You know, how dare

you fucking snoop on me? It's just like I mean, don't women have the out? Why are you snooping on me? Because you have a dick, sir. That's why I trust you. I don't trust your dick. All right, missed opportunity.

I would bring it up. I don't know if you bring it up. I don't have enough information. That was a really quick and to the point which I really appreciate. But watching some videos and stuff in the search field, I saw a list of a few girls names.

That's not good either. I don't fucking know, but I don't know who the girls are, but that there right there, that fucking ex-colleague think I don't know. I don't know. That seems like a blow job in the future to me. That's what I would, if I was standing in front of a green screen, a little meteorologist, there'd be a

fucking, you know, dick floating towards a woman with their mouth open. Down south. All right, missed opportunity. Hey, Billy Buckaroo. I'm going back to school soon within the next week, actually. I got an offer a couple days ago to register for a class

this upcoming semester that is essentially a paid internship. It entailed working with a company called Sun Corporation. Why is my stomach growling? Because I'm on a diet called Sun Corporation on a software project.

If you complete the internship, you get paid a couple hundred dollars, like two or three hundred. And of course, something worth putting on your resume for job hunting. But the thing is that I turned it down. I didn't think it would mean that much to take it

as I don't really need the money and software engineering majors are for the most part guaranteed a job after graduation. Plus, I only have one semester left and it's looking like it's going to be pretty and it's looking like it's going to be pretty tough anyway. All right, so you got to concentrate in schools. What's the problem?

He says, however, I cannot help feel a bit pissed off at myself for saying no, it's one of those things that has virtually no negatives to it. I get to, I get work experience and money. What more could I need? Anyway, I can't help but see this as a wasted opportunity. My question to you is, have you ever been offered

an opportunity in your community career that you've pissed out pussied out on and then heavily regretted later and can you offer me advice on this? Thanks and go fuck yourself. All right, first of all, dude, it's a fucking internship. It's your last semester. It's going to be tough. You know, you want to fucking go out and party a

little bit. It's not the worst thing. It's not the end of the fucking world and absolutely I had all kinds of times I pussied out. Really in my career, I was afraid. I was afraid to go on stage. I was afraid of bombing.

I was afraid of the whole fucking thing. So, yeah, there was a whole bunch of times that I did. So, what I would do, I started to do in moments like that, my fucking stomach will start, I gotta eat dinner.

I was good today. For lunch, I had lentil soup and a fucking salad and I've just been trying. I've been trying. I'm laying off the booze. I don't eat fucking sweets. The writer's room, we have fucking Fridays and we just order whatever we want

and they got barbecued and I just, that's like, at my age, that's like nap food. It's literally like drinking fucking Nyquil or some shit, so I can't do that. Anyways, let's see, how would I answer?

Sorry, just click that. We'll hit the button there. How would I answer this? Basically say, what I did was I always remember what it felt like when I pussied out that night, when I put my head down on the pillow, my big Charlie Brown

fucking head, I'd put it down on the pillow and I just would always remember that awful feeling of pussying out. So then, the next time that moment happened, I'd be like, all right, tonight, whether I kill, whether I bomb, whether I just do okay,

I'm going to feel way better than if I didn't even try. But I think you're being too hard on yourself on this one. I mean, you didn't pussie out, you just said, no. It seemed like you weighed your options. If you were too afraid

to do it, then I would say that you pussied out. But I don't think you did. But I don't know, if your reasons for doing it were different, if there was some sort of fear involved, you got to figure out why you did it. And then you got to forgive yourself for doing it

because it's part of, like, you know, you got to fail to succeed, right? Remember that Michael Jordan commercial? You know, missed all those shots. Missed all those shots. I failed over and over and over and over and over again. That is why I succeed. There you go. Same fucking thing. Same fucking thing.

All right, nose job. Dear Billy Muzarella, legs. What? Hello? Is that my daughter yelling at me in there? She does this

hilarious thing. When you're on the phone, you have an on speaker, she sees you talking into it and she just going, what are you yelling about? I can't find a single pass. You know, I was telling them that story of how, you know, I did all that stuff

for you this morning, then you got into a mood. So then I matched your mood with my mood and then we had that little game that you play where then you try to be nice to get me out of my mood. You know that little thing? No, I don't know what you're talking about. Nia. I don't know what you're talking about. Nia.

What do you want me to say? You know what I'm saying. I don't know what he's talking about either. Nia. What? What? What? That's a funny game where, you know, you go into a mood and then it puts me in a mood

and then you go, okay, maybe I took my mood too far so now I'll be the one to turn it around and then, you know, me, you always got to fucking pull me out of the anger mud, right? Fine, yeah, sure. Oh, yeah. Can you tell guys you're hearing a voice? Look how beautiful you are.

I gotta find that pacifier. Hey, buddy. You like the computer or anything with the screen on it, you like, what are you yelling for? It's because you got to have my DNA. What the problem is? You realize as you grow up every time you screw up I'm going to get blamed for that

because I'm the screw up in this relationship. That's right. Talk to the people. Tell the people what you're feeling. Huh? What do you got there? What are your feelings about global warming? What should we do?

Nothing. The baby senator was surprisingly quiet on some of the biggest issues out there. Hey, how you liking, you loving the avocados, aren't you, the mushed up avocados? You liking them? She's shy. She has Mike fright, she doesn't know what it is.

It's probably she didn't grab it. All right, here we go. Hey, somebody's going to ask a question about a nose job. Somebody's in my fuck... Oops, sorry, don't make me curse here. My stomach is growling. All right, nose job. Dear Billy Muzarel Alex.

White like the Muzarel. White like the Muzarel. I'm a 43 year old married father of two. Yeah, you like that, huh? Very happy with my life, but could use some advice. You see, I have a schnauz. Oh my God, dude, your nose is still bugging.

You're 43, you're married, a woman loves you. You got a couple of kids. A real honker, a really big nose. I got a big nose over here. Now you want to talk, huh? I've been able to get by with the successful life, career and marriage.

But in the back of my mind, okay, in the back of my mind, and whenever I look in the mirror, I just can't get over my nose. I kind of look like old joke, grout show marks.

Oh, those old joke grout show marks with glasses, without glasses. Now my question is, why are you yelling? I gave you the floor and you didn't want to talk and now you're yelling there, cutie? What are you doing?

Huh? What do you say to your wrinkles? My little Sharpay? All right, where am I? Now my question is, being that I've come this far in life at my age, do you think it's

super vain or silly to get surgery done? Money or wife is not an issue. I just think it's silly of me to really want to do this, but it's really affecting me where I don't want to look at myself in the mirror when I shave

or put on contacts. Thankfully, Vice and Go Yankees. Go Yankees! Guess where New York is. Go Yankees! The greatest promo ever. Wheel of Fortune, if you can ever find it. When they went to New York.

I guess we're in New York, huh? Go Yankees! That was it. Two-second clip. Here's the thing, I actually... Don't get surgery. Yeah, you got to learn to love yourself. And here's the thing,

when you got a friggin' giant nose, it's really to find your face. And when you shave that thing down, you're not going to look like yourself anymore. And people are going to be like, you know... I bet... What's wrong with you?

I bet... Maybe if I talk quieter. I bet that the only person that really has issue with your nose is you. You know, your wife loves you, your kids love you, you got friends. You're fine. I wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't do it. Okay, you think... You think that I haven't looked into, you know, whatever Michael Jackson had bleached out of him to put a little bit of that in me, so I can wear shorts? Can I have some of that leftover pigment? Um...

Look, you're always going to have something about yourself that you don't like. I am a firm believer in just keeping yourself in shape. Yelling over a baby and basically you know, aging naturally. You look way better.

Alright? Whoever makes us knows what they're doing. However, if you're going to go that road, I don't know. I don't know. You better make sure you find somebody good. Exactly. Because you could end up like that chick from Dirty Dancing. I thought it was gorgeous.

And I loved her nose. Yeah. I loved her nose. I mean, I think she looks beautiful. Yeah, I know, I know. She looks so cute. She got a lead in the movie with that nose. Barbara Streisand. Who else has a very strong nose? Sarah Jessica Parker.

Who are the guys that have like strong nose? Joe Bartnick. Joe Bartnick. Yeah, that was that lady. That lady when she made fun of his nose and he said, you need to lose about 40 pounds before you talk to me, bitch. One of the great lines ever. And then her husband turned around

when she complained, looked at Joe, and then started yelling at me. I was like, you fucking... Oh, sorry. I'm not going to lie. That's what I would have done. I would have picked a smaller guy. Why? What are you saying? You're saying pay attention to me, man.

She wants to talk to you. You can talk to me anytime you want. Ask girlfriend's dad for hand in marriage and he denied. Oh, no. Whoa. We got to read this one. Come on, baby. You got to be quiet. You're riveting. You got to listen to this one, kiddo.

All right. Hi, sir. Hi, sir, William Burr. Hey, long... You know what's so funny is the amount of people that are going to say mean stuff. I get it. She's cute, but I swear to God, if you bring your kid on that pocket,

it's gonna look... All right. Long time fan. Thank you for all the laughs. You got me through some hard times and I am thankful to that. All right. Well, thank you very much. My current girlfriend for five years come this November. I'm 25 and she is 24.

I've been thinking about proposing, so I decided to do an old tradition by asking your father's hand in marriage. Now, that's a classy move. The dad's like that stuff. I also asked her mother to be sure... to be there as she is very close to both of them.

I took them out to dinner and I told them how much I loved her and how much she means to me, et cetera, et cetera. Once I was done giving my speech, they just stared at me like I had three heads. They didn't give me their blessing to marry their baby and went on saying that they don't think

that I get along with their... Oh, that they don't think that I get along with their siblings well and it seemed awkward when we, the family are together. Oh, my God. They said that they felt like I would try to move their daughter away from her family

because of my job and she belongs with her family. Oh, no. Should I keep dating hoping that something changes or that the relationship with her parents can't be repaired or should I just give up on this five-year relationship?

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. First of all, that sucks. Yes. And I can tell you this right now. Marrying into that. I know. That effin nightmare. That's going to be a nightmare.

Yeah, you better love this girl because I'll tell you, buddy. Yeah. That sounds like those parents are going to screw up. Do they live on a compound? That sounds like the Rayburns and Bloodline or something. You're trying to marry into one of those families. Yeah, I would walk.

He's got to talk to his girlfriend about it and be like, listen, I wanted this to be a surprise but I went out and I asked your parents about getting married because I wanted to do it the right way and this is what they told me and see what she says.

I think you just kind of go from there. What are they, like Freemasons or something? You know, you marry into the family too so if you don't get along with them on that level and they're already looking at you like, mmm. It sounds like some blue blood. Yeah, I don't know. The hedges never need clipping.

Is she the youngest? I'm curious as to if I'll see this coming whatsoever because I would find that a little hard to believe but maybe he didn't spend much time with the family. Well, if he didn't see it coming that would mean that he's a dope and maybe that's why they don't want to marry the kid.

This guy's got no anticipation skills. He doesn't see what's the hand in front of his face. Like, obviously you know that you don't get along with the siblings. I feel like that probably wasn't a surprise to you. It sounds like nobody in the family likes you but that woman. So she's going to have to then

make a decision you or them, which is very romantic for somebody in their 20s but eventually as you start having kids and stuff Christmases and all that, oh dude, I don't know how much you love her but this would be a great thing

to walk away from if you could do it. That's five years, that's a long time. No, he's 25. 25. You've got to be in a better relationship. You've got to be a free agent in college, huh? You've got to get the lay of the land out there.

No pun intended over there. Yeah, maybe they think you're just too young or, well no, they said why they don't approve. So I think you, if you really, you've got to talk to your girl about it. They don't like them. Yeah, you've got to talk to your girl and see what she says.

Do her favor, just dump her so then she doesn't know why and then she won't blame her families and I would leave, I would leave right now. Okay, we're moving on to the next question. I would leave. No you wouldn't. He's got to talk to her about it. Oh, in my 20s I wouldn't have,

because I wouldn't have been smart enough, but in my 40s, if your family was just like, yeah, you know, we just don't like you dude and I would just be like, all right. Well, yeah, and I agree with that but he has to talk to her about it. You got to tell her what happened. Can you get the little crazy person here

crawling all over me? She just dropped it. It's right here. She's going for the computer. There you go, buddy. Here you go. All right, let's look at the last one. Girlfriend's sociopathic mother.

Anya, can you give a woman, because women never write into this podcast, because I'm such an asshole, can you give some quick advice here? This woman went on Facebook, she's been with this guy for two years, all right, everything's fine, but she checked his Facebook.

Why? Because you guys... Why did you check to see how much my check was for today? Bill! Huh? Oh my God, I can't believe you're just putting me out on Front Street like that. Because you guys snoop, it's what you do.

Ha ha ha ha. Um, anyways... I was just curious. See, now you're going to have everybody with the gold-digging W-H-O-R-E comments. That's not why you did it. It's because we did a job together,

and you wanted to see what I made versus... Job-back-ease. Job-back-ease for the family. Yeah, and you wanted to see how much I made versus what you made. Obviously, I know you're going to make way more than I make, okay? I just happened to be there.

I mean, they did request me, but that's a whole other story. I'm going to go back to Facebook, straight to the point. Wait, wait, wait, let's go back to the check there. Why? Because I like watching you twist on the awkwardness that I live in day to day. So anyways, she goes to check the Facebook Messenger,

and she said, I saw that he is writing on a weekly basis with an ex-colleague of his, a beautiful young lady. The thing is, is that they were close at work back then, but he quit three months ago. Okay, keep going. That's it.

I just don't believe in male-female friendships. I'm talking from experience. What do you say? What's the question? What are you doing? Go back. Also, when we're watching some videos and stuff on his phone, I saw a list of a few girls' names.

Other than that, he's great to me. Yeah, listen. This is why you don't go snooping in social media or in phone, because the thing is, if you are looking in that direction, you're looking for something. So any little thing, no matter how innocent,

is going to get you all fucked up in the head. So if you're going to go looking for stuff, you're going to go find stuff. So either drop it, or confess that you've been a little snoopy-snoop and you're paranoid and you're insecure. But I think you should just zip it and move on and not look at his

social media or his phone anymore. Wow. I actually asked him about that. That guy. But you're the lady. I would listen to the lady here. Well, I said either one. You've got to like fess up and be like, listen, I've been feeling kind of insecure lately

and I went in your Facebook and I saw that you messaged somebody and first of all, I apologize for invading your privacy because I wouldn't appreciate it if you did that to me. But second of all... But since I've done it... Who is this bitch? All right.

Girlfriend sociopathic mother. But you know you're wrong for looking at his Facebook and you know you're looking wrong for looking at his phone. You're wrong. You're wrong for that. So just know that. Girlfriend sociopathic mother. Hey, Billy Boo. I can't say that in front of him.

She doesn't know that word. I know it still. Not sure if this is the right place for MM questions, but I'm in dire need of red-headed C-note wisdom. So I've been dating this lady for about a year now

and her mother is a next level piece of crap. There are countless examples her psychopathy... of her psychopathy... Wait. There are countless examples her psychopathy. They always leave out words. I already read bad enough.

But to trim the fat on the story, I'll... I'll cite a couple of scenarios. She has repeatedly asked me whether I use protection whilst banging her daughter. And when I've responded yes, she goes on to say she has no evidence

that I do use protection. What would there be evident? Where would there be evidence? No effing clue. Unless you're banging her house and she's checking the waste paper basket. She doesn't want her daughter to get pregnant. I am 21 years old and she has called my mother

on multiple occasions to ask where my girlfriend dad to talk about my girlfriend and I. My mother has obviously declined the invitation and she has continued to persist. Other than that, she is the helicopter parent of the century and calls my girlfriend at least 15 times a day

to tell her how to live her life. I hate this woman with a burning passion but I don't know what to do about it with my girlfriend. My girlfriend has tried to set boundaries with the mother but has had no luck. Well, just don't answer the phone. I'm going to tell her the future

and I never want to see this woman again let alone have her being in law or the grandparent to my children. I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks and go eff yourself. This guy is thinking at 21 that other guy should have been thinking at 25 but you're going to marry into that.

You're young enough where your girlfriend is only a few years out of the house but she just don't answer the phone. Yeah, she just doesn't. Her daughter is too young and is going to leave her forever and all that stuff.

I don't think she's a sociopath. Who's kid who? Neither one of us know this woman. Neither one of us know this woman. We don't have enough information. We have to go off of what people write to us. That's the only way that we have to go all in. It's like when you watch a TV show you just got to watch it.

You can't be like that would never happen if you just got to like... This isn't Dr. Filda. You need somebody's problems within 22 minutes. You need to stop punching her in the face and stop doing math. Okay, when we return.

Yeah, you got to talk to your girl. You're obviously your girlfriend knows but yeah, you just got to ignore the mother. Yeah, just ignore. No, if she's calling like 15 times a day and she's asking about their sex life

and she's calling their parents. That's really, that's crossing the line. Yeah, you got to respect your kids' boundaries like their own personal space. You can't be calling somebody's boyfriend asking them if they're using protection.

Ask your daughter if she's on the pill and if she's not, get her some. Otherwise, what are you calling me for lady? Yeah, that's weird. Jesus, get your paws out of my pants lady. Exactly. All right, that is the podcast for this week. Congratulations to me.

For winning all this money on the Red Sox. Sox making baseball, exciting by gambling. There's your lesson. You are so adorable and all you do is smile. Happy baby. Been in a good mood all day. Look at you. She's getting mobile everybody

and anything that she sees she wants to get her hands on. Then she gets her hands on and then she wants to go to something else. And I'm going to tell you something right now. Nobody can flip over faster than this one. By the way, shout out to Ric Flair. Hope he's doing better.

I heard that he's recovering and I'm looking forward to seeing him doing the flair chop, the flair strut, the flair flop. All of it. Absolute legend. We already lost one of the funniest guys of all time. This is Terry Lewis.

Dick Gregory. Do you realize how many stories went with those two guys just today? And forget about Don Rickles. That just closes a to like Sinatra, the whole Red Pack.

Red Fox, Richard Pryor, all of that. That port hole just closed. So I hope somebody made a documentary. That's the podcast everybody. Oh, did I tell you? She was about ready to face plant right off and I just like lightning quick, Nia.

Lightning quick. Like a freckled pasty cobra. I was able to grab her. All right, that's it. She's starting. She's going for the mixer here. All right, you guys, I'll check in on you on Thursday. Set it nice because the kids here. All right, see you.

All right. For you in Snari Tzandersnacht or Halt van Klassikers. Oh, yeah, that was a spaghetti bolognese with a lot of meat. Download the Maide Leise App and cook me. Yeah, top. The Leise.

Me with a cleave.