Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 8-3-15

Episode Date: August 3, 2015

Bill rambles about the Dentists that kill Lions, skateboarding and dicks in the locker room.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, August 3rd, 2015. What's going on? How are you? How are you? Can you believe it's already August 3rd? Where is the summer going?

No need to fret, everyone, because now that we are in the golden age of global warming, you know, right before all the bad shit happens, the great thing is, the summer goes right through to, like, October at this point. So there's still time to get your beach body, ladies and gentlemen. You know, it really helps with you. You ever just get depressed at how quickly life is going by, how quickly time is going by? You know what really helps that is if you're working towards something.

I swear to God, not trying to get all fucking goofy here in self-help, I'm actually excited for August to end, to get right through this month, because I know where I'm going to be, because I've been working out today. I stepped on the scale, and my goal was to go from 180 to 177. Drop my three pounds for the fucking week. I go to the gym every day. It's just become what we like, and if you don't want to be a fatty, well, you go to the gym every day, you cunt.

Woo! I got on the scale, babble, la-boop, when I got out of bed. No, I got on the scale this morning, and I weighed in at 176.4, or point, FOA, as some people say in Massachusetts, or basically the New England area. 176.4. Sounds just despair. Pretty psyched about that. What I did this week was I just kept eating the exact same way that I've been eating,

which is perfect, as I know how to eat. There's only so much you can read about nutrition, about good carbohydrates, what are good fats, bad fats, good cholesterol, bad cholesterol, fucking glycerin, whatever. I just, a glucose and all that shit, I just, I just shut up, all right, with your words. You know, those fucking words don't excite me. They don't make me go, oh, oh, what's the next sentence going to read? I got to figure out how to get excited about reading about nutrition. You know, I just can't, I cannot get into reading about nuts and berries.

You know what I mean? There's no car chase, there's no titties, there's no classic lines, no shiny suits, there's nothing, what is there for me? You know, like sitting through some fucking movie, you know, you didn't want to see, but you fucked up in your relationship, so you're trying to repair it, so you're like, all right, all right, I'll fucking, oh yeah, let's go see this movie. What is, what is it called? What is it called?

Seven suppers in September? What the fuck I'm thinking about? It's never dates, divine, whatever the fuck it's going to be, anyways. But I switched up the cardio this week, I went to the gym and I skipped a rope a couple of times, so it was a different kind of cardio, so my body's still like, hey, whoa, whoa, what the fuck's going on? You know, because I overheard somebody say you're supposed to confuse your body every like three to six weeks, so I did that, it's working for me, it's working for me, oh boy,

oh boy, I know I'm psyched that I'm losing weight, but this is the time because I'm recording this on Sunday night, and it's about, I don't know, seven, eight o'clock, I don't know what the fuck time it is, and this is the time of night where I usually crack open a cold one, and I'm not, I'm 28 days in, 29 when you hear this, and you know, so now I'm not craving alcohol, I don't give a fuck about it, I mean I give a shit, but like I'm not like, you know, I'm used to my new lifestyle, you know, this is it. Wide awake, all fucking brain cells, straight in the line, all counted for, Jesus Christ, I'm bored shitless, fucking bored shitless, but I am working towards a few things, I took

my first auto rotation, advanced auto rotation class, and I fucking loved it, and I felt like I got like 30% better at them in one lesson, and I'm just gonna keep taking those fucking things until I can simulate a engine failure and land it like essentially in a parking spot, and once I do that, then I'm gonna feel like, alright, now I feel comfortable to fly around, take some passengers and that type of shit, that's what you do, you don't get your license and then go, well I gotta pass the fucking test, let me just fly around and hope nothing happens, that's not what you do, you keep going, you keep learning, keep trying, fuck, 28 days in, 72 days, 72 minus 28, that's 52 minus 844, 44 days to go, I'm

rapidly approaching the halfway point, which is 36 days, what's 28 and 7, 35, shit, I was hoping next week I was gonna be at the halfway point, who's kidding who people, I'm gonna come off, I'm gonna drop about 20 pounds, and I am gonna come off this fucking, this stretch of no booze, and I'm gonna put on at least 30 pounds, just a booze weight, forget about all the dumb food choices I'm gonna make when I'm hammered, Jesus, so anyways, 176.4, there you go, so all I gotta do is lose 2.4 this week, I don't give a fuck, I just gotta plow through this fucking week, you know, because then I'll be down to 174 and then it gets exciting, right, then you start getting into the low 170s and that's basically, you know,

that's where, you know, in my business, I could go out and get a headshot, maybe book a Cheerios commercial, that's an exciting weight to be at, you know what I mean, you can sit there and laugh, those Toast at O's commercials, they fucking pig, I did want a long time ago, I think it's up on YouTube, if you search for it, search old Billy Redface, Toast at O's, no I'm kidding, I never did one of those, but I was in a Honeycomb commercial when I was just a kid, Honeycomb's big, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not small, nah, I wasn't in that shit either, anyways, let's get on with the podcast here, so that's the deal, trying to get in shape, you know what I mean, because I'm not a young fella anymore, and

if anything tells me that is when fucking, you know, heroes of mine for when I was a kid die in their sleep, fucking devastating news of Rowdy Roddy Piper passing away this week, man, I couldn't believe he was fucking 61, I couldn't believe he was that old and I also was thinking like that's 14 years away from me, and 14 years you can die in your sleep, like that can happen, and everybody's okay with that, you know, like I'm not okay with it, I mean they miss the guy and shit, but anyways, so rest in peace, Rowdy Roddy Piper, thank you for all the fucking laughs, Piper's pit man, that was the best, just when they think they know the answers, I change the questions, I got to meet him a couple

of times when I was down in the comedy store, and I had a chance to hang out with him one time and I didn't, because he was that big a deal for me, and I didn't want to know him too well, because he was such a big fucking deal, that's when that I'm telling you, before the rock and stone cold Steve Austin, which was definitely a golden age, and I think the rock is the best guy ever on the mic other than fucking Ric Flair, that's what I, my own personal opinion, whatever, but before the golden age of the rock, stone cold Steve Austin, mankind, oh who's the guy, what the fuck was he called, I just know what the rock used to call him, used to call him the red, you know what, oh what was his name, I forget,

anyways, in the 80s, was it Kane, something like that, I can't fucking remember, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Sergeant Slaughter, Mr. Wonderful, Jimmy Superfly Snooker, I fuck, I used to watch all of that shit, Larry Zabisco, Tony Garia, Ted DiBiase, Greg DeHammer, Valentine, Ivan Putzky, Pat Patterson, who else, the end of Bruno San Martino, and oh there was a red-headed fella there, who had the belt, what the fuck was his name, Bob Backlin, Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, the Iron Sheik, George the Animal Steel, the fucking Moon Dogs, Mr. Fuji and Mr. Saedo, the wild Samoans, Captain Lou Albano, Freddie Blasey, the Grand Wizard of Wrestling, I used to watch that shit every fucking week, I loved it, and one of the biggest

parts when fucking Rowdy Roddy Piper came on the scene, it was like who the fuck is this guy, came out in that kilt, and from day one was talking, she was one of those guys, he showed up and he was a star it seemed, like just overnight, he was so good you couldn't remember wrestling without a man, and I can't believe that man, 61 years old, he looked great too when I saw him, fuck it looked great, just terrified, I mean I'm getting to that age where that gets terrifying, like how old was he, what the fuck, so anyways, yes, the men starting to make me feel old, so I feel good that I'm actually working towards some shit, so, oh Billy fucking 20 hobbies here, so I'm working on those auto rotations and

I actually started taking drum lessons again, because I'm sick of fucking flailing around the kit, and I always admired guys that had that fucking flawless technique, and I think seeing Keith Karloch when he played with Steely Dan, and just watching, obviously no matter how much technique I have, I'm never gonna play like that guy, but just watching him just effortlessly go around the kit, and the sticks are doing the work, he's just guiding it with his hands, it's just fucking, it's really some drum geek shit, but it's fucking unreal, and having said that, does anybody know, who was Jim Croche's drummer, does anybody have any idea, I'm trying to figure out who played on that, working at the Car Wash Blues,

which is really, you know, it's kind of a corny fucking song, who's kidding who, but the drums on it are this shit, I love the drums on that fucking song, and I finally figured out that little fucking, I'll play a little something for you, there's this little fucking press roll that the guy does in the beginning, I'll show you where the hell is it, come on, oh here we go, there it is, come on up right now, right here, oh I fucking love that, and two, three, and one, I've been sitting in my fucking, just like a fucking rain man, trying to figure that thing out, and I started taking lessons, and my teacher helped me out with this shit, I'm psyched, so I suck at it, but I know physically how

to do it, so you just sit there and you do it a million times, who knows, maybe I'll bust that song out of the comedy gym, little Jim Croche, god damn it, that guy's got some depressing songs, huh, New York's Not My Home, and I learned a lot of lessons, and they were not the nice kind of all the shitty things about fucking sleeping in a doorway, getting mugged, having to call his parents, that New York's Not My Home, I just started singing that, don't you know that I gotta get outta here, I'm so alone, don't you know that I gotta get outta here, cause New York's Not My Home, thank god I never knew that song existed when I first moved to New York and was eating my balls at the old Boston Comedy

Club, I would have gone on crying, that was that early 70's shit, they were not about bringing people up, they were just like no, sit in it, sit in that depression, you know, he's got a couple, he's got I Got a Name, you know, like the palm trees lying in the wind and rolled, I Got a Name, I Got a Name, half the song doesn't make any sense, like the singing bird and the croaking toad, I Got a Name, neither one of those animals has really has a name unless it's a pet, other than that it's just called what it is, it'd be like if your name was human being, right, you know maybe I should just sit back and enjoy the song, I don't fucking know, but I just, you know, and I can't with me like

my daddy did, and even then it gets sad, but I'm living the dream that he couldn't give, what did that mean, he drank away his paycheck every week, it was just fucking good lord, guys putting on number one songs and he's all fucking sad, reminds me of the Seattle guy there, right, with the page boy haircut, he was a saddie too, he had all these great fucking albums, he didn't like it here, um, anyways what am I doing, what am I talking about here, something I wanted to talk about, oh so my wife for whatever fucking reason absolutely loves that show, that American greed, and she watches like three of those episodes every fucking night before we go to bed, and I always end up falling asleep because it's the same

fucking story over and over again, you know, it's the same thing, the guy starts up a fucking business, he's dressing the party, he's faking it till you make it, he gets a bunch of investors, he hands out fake spreadsheets, and he got these fucking innocent people just going like, you know, oh yeah, I saw they were charging, I was getting 30% and I was like, oh this sounds like a good deal to me, right, and then they always go, you know, it's always got some really bad metaphor, they invested in an ice cream chain, but this wasn't the flavor they were looking for when we returned glass in the ice cream, that fucking song of American greed, I'll tell you, I was gonna end up on fucking American greed is that cunt

who shot that lion, everybody's talking about this dentist that went over and illegally poached this lion that was friendly with people, I love that shit, is it friendly with people until what, it bites somebody's fucking head off, fucking unreal, you know what I mean, everybody's fucking salient, gas the pitbulls, you shoot a fucking lion, everybody's like oh he was nice, he was a good lion, I'm not saying it was a bad lion, I'm not saying the guy shouldn't have done it, I think everybody's missing the fucking story here, alright, speaking of American greed, this guy paid 50 grand, alright, that's just for the fuck, that's not even for his flight to go over there and kill this fucking lion, alright, not trying

to stir anything up here, but how'd a fucking dentist afford to drop 50 grand to fly to Africa to shoot a fucking lion illegally, just thinking of all the how expensive the shoes he had to buy, that he had to sneak around in, there had to be some sort of ninja wear, fucking, I'm gonna shoot a protected lion wear that he had on, right, that guy dropped 50 grand on that and now he's gone underground, they go over his house, he's got a mansion, right, and all they're talking about is his fucking lion, I'm watching an episode of American greed, how to fucking you afford all, I'm filling fucking, how many teeth are you filling, this guy's pulling teeth, I'm telling you right now, I used to

work in a dental office, right, and there was some good dentists, just like cops, there's some good cops, there's some bad cops, and I'm not talking about interrogation, talking about brandishing a weapon, no, I'm talking about fucking people pulling teeth that didn't need to be pulled, fucking doing filling fillings on teeth that did not need to be fucking drilled into because they bought a car beyond their own fucking needs, or whatever they're their financial responsibility, alright, I think this guy should be fucking taken back there, just for the simple fact, just for the simple fact that he, he went to another country and did that, what do we got over here, does the MGM still have a lion, what if somebody from

Zimbabwe came over here, and the MGM lion, right, right as they were recording that, you're watching an MGM film, they fuck, please turn the air condition back on, yeah the lovely me, everybody, she came in, this is a studio man, Dave Letterman had it cold, I'm having it cold, he lasted fucking 30 years on television, I want to do 30 years of podcasting, well what's good is the air conditioning if you're gonna fucking turn it off, listen I'm talking about that dentist that went out, went over to Zimbabwe, you got to go grab a mic from the, from the closet there, no one wants to listen to this, let me just hit pause here, not fucking, I never hit pause, do you know that story Nia, this dentist from Minnesota,

he's a, you know, he likes, he's one of those big game hunters, you know what I mean, he's one of those fucking guys, I'm gonna shoot something that people think is scary, and they're gonna be like, oh I killed that shit, you know, like it went up and he fucking put it in a choke hold, it's like it didn't, you went over and you shot it, the fact that you can go, you can walk up and kill an armed man, a human being with a gun, you could fucking kill, you could, you could do it, even if he knew you were coming, you have a gun, he has a gun, you could do that, so now you're going up to a lion, the thing doesn't have a gun, so I mean, how fucking difficult is that, actually they shot it with a crossbow, but the only reason

why they shot it with a crossbow was because they were trying to disguise, doesn't he have, he's gone big game hunting before, right, like he's done it a lot, well here's the thing that I thought I saw some weirdly alarmist headline being like, you know, he's like a serial killer of animals, and it's like the way they were putting it was like, you know, this is what he does all the time, I don't know, he's one of those guys, he doesn't seem like he kills to eat it, yeah, yeah, it's just for sport, yeah, he's one of those guys to be like, yeah, you ever hear of an alligator, fucking shot one in the head, it was, he put it up in his study or something like that, yeah, he's one of those guys, he's one of those guys, so he went about him, he fled, right, like he uh, he went over

to Zimbabwe, he bought like a crossbow and he fucking went into some, like wildlife sanctuary, allegedly this lion was friendly with people, I love that shit, Cecil the lion, Cecil or whatever, yeah, it's friendly until it isn't, until the one day you do something that reminds of, you know, of something from its childhood and it fucking bites your head off, but it's what it's supposed to do, it's a lion, yeah, it kills shit, yeah, of course, so he went in and he fucking killed it, decapitated it, skin the fucking thing, yeah, he wants the head, yeah, first of all, how do you get the head back? I don't know, I don't want to know, that you got to go gym bag, they got to drain it out, they probably do it there, like, oh no, you know what he did, he

probably, taxidermy, well, he probably like takes the fucking, just the skin from the head, you bring that back and then you just, you have somebody like make a, like a lion skull and then you put it over there, because no one's going to know that the skull isn't in there, right, this is the kind of shit, this is like premeditated, no idea, wait, let me ask you this, Nia, because you're into American greed, this guy's a dentist, he paid 50 grand to do that, now he's gone underground, they're going by his house, he has a mansion, this guy's a dentist, he has a mansion, he's going all these expensive fucking, you know, going around killing all these, how does a dentist have all that fucking money, is he like a hoity-toity fancy dentist that like

doesn't take any insurance, it's all like self-pay and it's, I worked in a dental office, nobody was going on a safari, even to just look at him, forget about to, just want a safari, how much money that is, forget about, you're going to go over there and then sneak back later, kill a lion, butcher the fucking thing and sneak it back, yeah, I don't know, he sounds very sketchy though, I don't know, American greed, that's Bill doing the theme to American greed, later, yeah, do your best Stacey Keach impression, well give me a scenario, what, it's always the same scenario, the same thing, it's like a Ponzi scheme and he throws lavish parties and he buys Ferraris and BMWs and yacht, they called him Ferrari Mike, dude how many times is Ferrari Mike, how many times

how many times is Ludacris gonna show up in the background of one of those, Ludacris has oddly shown up on two episodes of American greed, greedy white people love Ludacris, they fucking can't get enough of him, I don't know, it's really weird though, yeah he came up twice, it's fucking hilarious, not that he does business with these people but he's like, he knows the people that did business with the person being profiled, it's like that, he's not like, a private party, you know when they like that you're so rich, you can have Ludacris rap in your living room, I love that show, what are you doing, that fucking, that Missy Elliott song used to drive me up the book,

and with that fucking song, pass that touch, yeah, they be like, way down down in family, nobody paid attention, nobody gave a shit, remember that one, that was the only good part of the song was when he came on, you're talking about Ludacris the solo, 12 amgators, that is the best part, I loved it, it was inspirational, no one believed in him and he said fuck this, he made his own goddamn tape and then he was selling them out of the back of the car and then he was crushing it, yeah that's true, he's gonna be on empire next season, I didn't like the part where he started buying the gators, it's just like no, no, no, no real estate, oh I'm sure he has tons of real estate, not the guy he's singing about, I'm talking about the guy

he's rapping about, not talking about Ludacris, oh I thought you were talking about Ludacris, how soon before Ludacris is on American greed, at some point he's gotta come clean, he's gonna be on empire, I just told you next season he's gonna be on empire, well I'll tell you right now, if he shows up on a third episode of American greed, somebody's gotta be like Ludacris, like yeah who is he, who is he hanging out with, yeah I don't get it, I don't know, look how white I am, I don't know any white guy on that show, that's pretty interesting, huh, I'm sure you do actually, they just haven't shown up yet, I'm sure you know or have somehow tangibly been involved with some like crazy corporate American greed type dude, but it's just so far from you, I used to do corporate

gigs, I bet one of those guys went down, of course, yeah, no but not if you donate to a fucking campaign, no but you're like a white guy working in show business, like there's at some point you came across somebody that did some American greed type shit, like that's just how it goes, no, I don't think so, I don't think they go to the funny bones in the emperor house, I think when you sell out stadiums like him, stadiums, theaters, like venues, promoters, the last one we watched this guy ended up, he throws a party in like Indianapolis and he has ice sculptures cut into the playboy of Indiana, yeah cut into like fucking dollar signs, yeah, and then he stood on his balcony with hundred

dollar bills and this none of the money was his and just fucking did the, he made it rain, they made it rain and like just what I love about those when I find them so fascinating about them is just that living in the moment and thinking like how long do you think you're gonna fucking get away with this and then they do but then what then it's always kind of funny just the dumb shit they buy but then once they actually start showing the people that lost it's always like you know, he was a farmer, he grew food for the country, he never sold out to corporate farmers, he had 170 grand, he gave it all to Ferrari Mike. That's true, they have like a hundred. When I met him, he had a nice watch,

he was well-spoken, I thought he was a nice person. Yeah, it's always like 120, 170,000, that's like their entire life savings. And then they take it and they go all right, and they still get the fake fucking spreadsheets and they immediately walk out the door and they go buy a watch with that, like you really have a level cycle. Yeah, they take their money and just like just go spend it on themselves. Yeah. Those yachts, that's six million dollar yacht we saw. I was surprised, that was only six million bucks. I know, I didn't feel like it was really all that for six million dollars, like the deck of the core and everything, it just looked very basic to me. What? I thought that that thing would be like 40 million bucks. That thing? Oh. It had seven

bedrooms with their own bathroom on a boat? No, I know. Wait, is all that shit, Gomia? That's expensive. Hey, can you turn the fucking AC back on please? Are you really that hot? I was freezing my ass off when I came in. I know, you're wearing some old lady sweater. I put a sweater on. Are you hot? Oh, you just want it on? I'm always hot, baby. Because the Letterman had it on. Are you actually warm? Yeah, no, it's fine. I'm dying in here. Really? Okay. I'm white, you know. It's all that hot air. Oh, touche. White people like the fucking cold, Nia. I know. We do. We're pasty. Yeah, we're white like the snow, Nia. All right. Why did you want me to come in here? I wanted you to go. Well,

I think there was a question that somebody wanted to fucking ask you. Where is it? Where is it? Did you talk about our beautiful day by the pool today? No, that was so nice. Can we talk about fucking UFC fucking? Yes, let's talk about 34 seconds of pure domination by Rhonda Rousey. I didn't know. That was the shit. I didn't know what that girl had said about her father. That was the first like when you said that last night. That was the first time I had heard that. Oh, yeah, that girl. Or like, so one of our friends said that they came over last night, that she said something about her dead father. And she don't do that. Why would you do that? Rhonda already hates you just by virtue of the fact that you guys are going to fight. Why would you

throw fuel on that fire by talking about her family? Like she already just feels like if I step into the ring with you, I want to like kill you, hurt everyone that like loves you. That's what her mindset is. So I don't understand why she thought that was a good idea strategically trying to do some like psychological warfare. When she knocked her out and Rogan said she went down like she got hit by a sniper. I immediately that that goes in his all time fucking quotes. Everybody in our living will burst it out laughing because she looked like she got shot. She did. She fell over in that weird posture where like you sort of end up falling on your neck. Yeah bent over at the waist and your ass up in the air like with your on your knees. It's just terrible.

Yeah, like somehow your legs stay awake longer than your upper body and you just go in. It's look, I respect anybody who goes into that fucking thing. But like why the fuck would you go in and say all that shit? Not a good idea. Well, she learned she learned. I usually I usually root for an underdog, especially when someone's so dominant, you just want to see a fight or whatever. But once you said all that shit about her dad, I was like, I was actually upset that she didn't get to be here longer. Yeah, because she deserves another like 34 seconds of getting I felt like the third third punch. She had a look on her face like, Oh, fuck. And I think I said this is already over. I feel like that need to kind of like caught her off guard. I think she

got a little winded when she got her that like left knee to the body. She looked kind of like I would have started crying. Yeah. Once I got my wind back. Well, I don't know why can't find the question. I don't see one here. I've been listening to podcast years. That's the Russia one fucking Rhonda Rousey just dumb. It just like it's the same thing every time now. It's just the same like she's probably not going to fight for another couple years. There's no other woman that's lined up ready to fight Rhonda Rousey is there like I don't know. My friend said she does have another he thinks maybe she'll fight again another six months or so but like I don't know who out there can take her.

I don't give a shit. Just stick somebody else in front of her. It's fucking amazing to watch. I don't give a fuck to be like, Oh, you could have do the pay review. It's only 30 some seconds. It's like you're watching a legend. You're watching a fucking little she's already a legend at this point. And you're watching her. I don't even think she's in her prime. She's through the armbar thing all the time. And now she came in. No armbar. I like that. Yeah, she did. She just knocked her fucking block off. Yeah, it's great. Totally fucking enjoyed it. So anyways, let's let me I can't find the fucking question here. I like better when I bring you on in the end, because then we ride it out because

I always feel weird like having you swing by like we don't live together. You know what I mean? Okay, well, if you can find it, we'll do it on Thursday. Okay, we'll hear something for you. You leaving? Yes. I was gonna talk about that paleo diet. Those people try to just tell us the whole thing. Do you want to do paleo? I think it's fucking hilarious. Why? It's just meat and vegetables. That's pretty much it. Well, I mean, that makes sense. But here, this fucking thing here. Oh, by the way, so do you hope that the United States extradites this dentist back to Zimbabwe? Do you feel like he should do 10 years in prison in a hardcore prison? That seems like a little much. He's gonna get butt rips. I think

he should be fined probably a lot, like a lot. No, fuck that. I think he should be taken back. At some point, you got to put a value on animals lives. I agree. Was it what you're saying he should go to jail? I think he should. I don't think he should go to the hardcore one. Right. I think that he should go to the jail being protective custody and through his 10 years, he should have to fix everybody's teeth for free. I think he should work in an animal sanctuary, like cleaning up all like the shit and everything. He can't have that. He can't have that. That's like having a pedophile work at a kindergarten. Eventually, he's gonna fucking kill some. He's gonna be able to. That's what I mean. There's not some law in place about him going and killing that animal,

because shouldn't there already be something? No, there is, but he left the country. He left the country. He's back here. So now he's got to get the United States to send one of their own. Now the United States, we're not going to send the guy because that's one of our guys. He's got the barcode in the back of his neck and he's not making us any fucking money. If he's by us, I mean the Illuminati guys, you know what I mean? He's not paying any fucking income tax or any of that type of shit. He's not walking around, you know, saying what he's supposed to be saying because he got it out of his TV. You need that zombie. You need that guy. He's a big game hunter. That guy, he's gonna be on the side of those. I gotta be honest with you, I totally respect hunting. I

think it's the shit. I love animals too, but I think if you go out and you hunt and then you do it for food or whatever, or you're doing it to learn how to do it, I respect that. Go shoot a fucking deer. There's a zillion of them. They're like mosquitoes, but like to go out there and shoot a lion, a leopard, to jive these beautiful fucking animals with it. Dude, believe me, if there was a bunch of fucking, if it was herds of lions running along the prairies, I mean that's what we would have on the 4th of July, but we're not. We fucking killed all of them. And I think there's really something like, I don't, what this guy does, I don't lump all hunters into. Did he go out on his own? Was he like this rogue? No, we hired these guys. I was gonna say he hired

people, right? So he had people who knew the terrain. And those guys are busted. Those guys are going to trial and they're staring at 10 years. Oh, they are? Oh yeah, and being a bottom. I was gonna say, I know he paid somebody like an exorbitant amount of money in order to do that. He didn't just go out there on his own. Yeah, it was incredibly stupid of the people who live there. And this fucking guy, I don't know, he must have had the size of that duffel bag that he must have put the fucking head in. It's just unbelievable to me. I love how you're obsessed with the whole, how does the head travel from Zimbabwe to America? What do you do? I don't know. I don't know how you take a head across. You put it up his ass like those drug

meals. You know, I have to fill out those little cards. We travel, we travel internationally. It's like, are you gonna, are you bringing any fruit or any like wildlife or any like plants? I got an elephant's head in my duffel bag. Do you mind if I look in your bag, sir? Yes, I do. Do you have any liquids in there? No, it's all been drained. And he's so sharp object. You can't do any of that with the fucking with the, I actually think there's something fucking wrong with you. If you have to go around and kill the most deadliest animals to human beings, like walking around doing that shit. I feel like that was an old school like Teddy Roosevelt. I'm an insecure guy and like, you see that? It isn't about like conquering this like foreign land, like isn't that the whole thing?

It's like you sort of take over the people and the neighborhoods and like the countries and then like kill all their wildlife. Isn't it all about like, I'm the big man and I can just sort of control nature as well as man. I don't know what it's about, but I can tell you. The only thing I'll give him problems was as he used to crossbow, you know, that's, but of course for, you know, it had the fucking laser pointer and shit, but like I just, I think America has bigger problems than rich people shooting lions. Meaning what? They shouldn't, they shouldn't pay attention to this? I just think there's more important things to rally behind. I don't really care. I mean, I don't give a fuck about a lion. I give a shit about this. I yeah, of course I care about lions,

but I care about human beings more. Who do you care more about lions or a snoop lion? Snoop lion. Yeah, I care more about snoop lion than an actual lion. Yeah. Is it because he has two animal names? Yeah, it's extra snoopy and lion. No, I mean, I just, like I said, I don't think it's right that he's going over there and I think lions, it's completely wrong. But I think that in the, I think he should be turned over. Given everything that's going on right now. I don't, I can't bring myself to what's going on. What's going on? Just in terms of like climate, in terms of like politically, racially, all that stuff, all that stuff I was telling you how I'm afraid for my brother to drive political and racial climate. Yeah, I care more about that than a lion in Zimbabwe.

I do. That's just how it goes. But I love lions. Why are you looking at me like that? It's not that confusing. No, I'm just fascinated by what I was interested in. I was sitting there looking at like, I think animals are more important than people at this point. I feel like that's a lot of people's reaction. They get so upset over animals. I think it's a very, but I think it's very weird where people place their ire when it comes to rights. I just sometimes feel like the rights of animals seem to be worth more than the rights of some people. And I think that's fucked up. I don't. No, you care more about lions. You care more about a lion and snoop lion. I like animals. I care more about snoop lion than a lion. I got nothing against snoop. It was

a bad. It's funny though. It's funny though. No, I just think that there's too many of us. You would definitely rather be in a room full of animals, I think, than a room full of people. No, I wouldn't. I don't live with animals. I don't. And I like people. There's just too many of us. And the fact that we don't think we're animals is bizarre to me because we behave way worse than they do. Way worse. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, completely, you know, bears don't change rivers and straighten them out and fucking poison them and build nuclear, but we're fucking animals. We're animals. Right. Torture shit, kill shit, kill shit, the kill shit. We lie and cheat and shit. We're fucking animal. We're fucking awful. But in the same way, if I had to choose between

that dentist guy and a lion, because you said, right, choose a lion or snoop lion. And I said snoop lion. But if I had to choose between a lion and that dentist guy, I would choose the lion. Racist. All right, yeah. Thank you for being here. What if snoop lion killed a lion? That would be hard. But what if he just sort of he just sort of that lazy laid back fucking boys justified it? I don't know. I just don't see a snoop ever getting in any situation where he would kill a lion because he's not going to he's not going to fuck with animals like that. No, because we don't do that. I mean, you don't do that. We don't do that. You guys like to do that whole racist with animals thing. I mean, listen, you watch these white these shows about like wilderness

and survival and like naked and afraid. It's like, I mean, there was one black dude that I saw in the commercial. But like for the most part, and you can always find one person that's going to be exception to the rule. But it's like, I don't know why white people feel like they need to constant like fuck with animals or like be out in nature naked. Like we've evolved past that. Why are you doing it? I don't get it. Because we're bored. Oh, really? Yeah, we don't have a cause. We're not being oppressed. It's just you need something to give you that sort of wake 16 hours a day. That's why we jump around and flip around and skateboards and shit. We're bored. Oh, Jesus. That's so terrible. I'm not saying it's terrible. We're just bored. Generally speaking, white people.

Remember, I showed you that. Of a certain income. We're bored where there's a white guy like standing on like a cliff like an I don't know, like a Grand Canyon or someplace really fucking scary. And it's like, you know, white people will do shit like this. But then they'll like cross the street when walking on the same side with like a black person. They'll stand on the ledge of some fucking, you know, cliff or like Mount Everest. It's like, what are you guys doing? Like, what are you trying to prove with all that wrestling gaiters in the bayou? Like, what the fuck is what? I love all that. Why an Australian fucking accent. And then you brought up the bayou and fucking New Orleans. But like why? Really, though? It's what the nature and the fucking with

animals. Why do you do that? I mean, can't you do that with every culture and race? Be like, why do you do that? I suppose. But I feel like white people really like push the envelope in terms of these extreme experiences and nature and like, I don't I don't know. Because we we don't have any gangs. White people have gangs. What are you talking about? But they're like official many there are many white gangs. No, but like, okay, name them. Jesse James gang. I'm white people have gangs. Come on, you know, like in certain areas, like, you know, we have groups. We don't have clubs. We have governments. We have governments. Those are your eyes. But our shit is like mainstream. Okay. I remember a long time ago. I got this

fucking hilarious talk with Patrice. Can you can you push that thing so it's not rattling over there? Oh my god, this whole AC situation is is what we live in an old house. Okay, the fucking heaters rattle a little bit. That we run the AC for like freezing in here. Oh, goodness, you got a fucking Afghan on. I know. And I'm so cold. So I got into this hilarious argument one day, like, Patrice, when he used to just get sick of white people would, you know, he just would stop coming down to the club for a little bit. And then sometimes he would call me up, invent about white people. No, he would vent at me representing white people. So one time I'm sitting at home, just being white, you know, hanging out, having a fucking

peanut butter and jelly sandwich, phone fucking rings. I pick it up and like, hello. And he just goes, Bill, he goes, what, what do white people do? He didn't even say a log. What do you mean? He goes, what, what do you do? I'm like, I was like, did you just get pulled over by a cop? Like, what is this coming from? Like, what do you mean? What? What do we do? Like, what? He's like, what do you do? Like, what do you bring to the table? Yeah, he's like, black people, we do this, we do that. What do you guys do? You're going to hilarious. Like you say, yeah, but the thing about it is how did you answer him? I fucking answered him like, what do you mean? What do we do? You just don't recognize shit is mainstream. It's it's like hiding in plain sight. So you don't see it. So

you don't think that you don't think that there's any sort of culture or anything like, what do we do? Oh, the all the actually look at skateboarding. Okay, that came from surfing, you know, and the fucking waves weren't there next, you know, skateboarding and totally evolved into what that is. What's not like Polynesian people were doing stock car racing. Wait, wait, I'm not going to sit here and have you try to tell me that white people didn't come up with anything. I'm just going to do that all the fucking time. I don't know skateboarding. Polynesians came up with skateboarding. No, no, but I saw the documentary was dark town and z boys and a fucking empty swimming pool at Santa Monica. But I thought skateboarding came from surfing and this is

Polynesian people. I don't know. I could be wrong. You thought what didn't surfing come from like indigenous people. No, no, I'm talking about skateboarding. I know, but that skateboarding came from surfing. It was sort of derived of that. Yes, right. So I'm saying but then surfing come from so you're saying white people don't get credit for skateboard. I didn't say that. I was just asking who came up with a thing that inspired skateboarding. I'm just wondering. I'm just wondering. I'm not what I thought this is like literally then this becomes the argument of how my Patrice. All right, stock car racing, stock car racing. Okay, that came out of moonshine. What is that stop moon? Basically the back during prohibition when

alcohol was fucking illegal. Right. What you would do is if you were fucking bringing illegal booze moonshine, right, you know, cross state lines and all that type of shit, you wanted a fast car, but you didn't want it to look fast. So what you did was it looked like a stock car, like a stock car you got from Detroit. That just looks like a Chevy. That looks like a Ford, but underneath the fucking hood, you soup the fucking thing up and you were able to outrun the cops and the cops didn't have fucking radios back then. So these guys that did this shit, all right, would talk shit about how my car is faster than your car. Now it isn't blah, blah, blah, blah. So they started racing and that started stock car

racing. That's a cultural fucking thing. Okay. So then it's on fucking TV. So I started listing all of that shit and he was actually going, he said, I think at one point he went, he said, good answer is what he said. And I just, I'm like, fuck you. I'm not asking for your approval. This whole fucking conversation is annoying. Is that car racing like something that's very important to people? Like, is it like a big deal? Because I know what you're gonna do. I think I came out wrong. I think I came out wrong. I'm not, I'm not even going to get into this conversation. And then we're going to go to music and then everything in music is somehow going to go back to the fucking blues, like Beethoven heard the fucking blues and the fucking

Irish music and all that. Well, if you actually the nozzle be like, well, it all came from the pyramids and black people built those. How would you know that? How would you know that? Cause you went to I'm right.com and you fucking red shit that said you guys did it. Like that is the dumbest shit. Like that whole fucking credit thing is so fucking stupid. But Egyptians are in Africa. So that's African. So that's black. I know it isn't. No, they're not. Aren't they? They're African. Yeah. So that's my point. Yeah. So when you see, when you see an Egyptian guy, right, you think that guy looks like you. I don't know. I feel like some of them are really hard. So I'm French, German and Irish.

You're French. So yeah, I have a little bit of French, but I'm mostly German, Irish. Let me finish. So I'm European. So me and Italians. Yeah, we're on the same fucking page. So Ferrari. Yeah, that was us. That was us. That was pasty freckle, guys. We did that shit. Give me a fucking break. No, you guys invented like vodka and stuff like that. But no, no, Irish, Russians. Sorry. Sorry. I don't know. I don't know the history. I didn't want to get into this fucking debate. It's more of a like a German, Irish, whiskey. What's the other ones? Bourbon? No, is that an American thing? Well, Scotch is from Scotland. Bourbons from Kentucky. Yeah, whiskey was. But Egypt is in Africa. But now it's from everywhere.

I think it was Naz's point. Was that a true thing that he said? Africa is a fucking continent. Yeah, it is. It's not a race. True. It's a continent. There you go. So like, can Irish people take credit for shit that happens in Romania? Because they're all European? I feel like there's a reason why this is different, but I don't know why. So I'm not going to answer that question. But I feel like. Can I fucking have that written on a t-shirt? I feel like an Egyptian person. Would they necessarily say I'm African or would they say I'm Egyptian? They would probably say I'm Egyptian. But I don't know enough about all I know is that all this shit is in Africa. Have you met anybody over in Europe saying I'm

European? No. They go, I'm French. That's true. I'm Swiss. Yeah. Swish. I'm Swiss. This is actually, this is like a toxic, this always becomes a toxic conversation. Okay, we'll start it then. No, I'm going to talk about you and me. I'm just saying, because I don't want to stir up everybody, because it's very easy. Too late. Yeah. It can go off the rails and it becomes this big fucking race. You're a fucking racist and all this type of shit. Um, resist the urge to read too much into this people. Anyways, I'm just. So stock cars is a big accomplishment for white people is what you were saying. No, no, no, I'm not saying it's a big a cut. Wow. You know what I hate about this

conversation? What I hate about this conversation. I know it's you feel like you can't come back. I can't say anything. I can't fucking say anything. If I say anything, you feel like you can't come back and say anything. If I say anything, then all of a sudden it's, it's this, this and this. There's a whole bunch of shit that I'm leaving off because I'll then become, I'll be called a fucking elitist. Okay. What do we do? We fucking pretend to go the moon. That's what we do. The space shuttle. That's the shit. Well, you just see it on TV. That's, that's some shit that we did. I mean, that's, that's kind of a cool. No, it's amazing. I know the astronauts weren't rapping.

They didn't have their spacesuits hanging off their asses. I know that the kids didn't want, but the kids, but the kids still wanted to do it. Give the fuck out of you. They went, Chuck Yeager fucking around any motherfucker out there. Give me a break. I'm just, I'm just getting your go because I see you wanting to leap out of your skin right now. I can kind of say something right now. I fucking hate when you do that. What? My brother used to do that. Do what? You just say shit to get me going. I'm being honest with you and I'm saying what I'm feeling. Don't just be sitting. You think I can't say some shit to get you going? I know you can. You do

all the time. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mocked stock car racing or any of that stuff. That wasn't nice. Yeah. The thing, you know what the fucking, one of the greatest things about stock car racing is what's going, the level of intellect in the pit versus across the racetrack sitting in the stands. That's why I love going to car races. And is that why people think they're elitist or something? No, because you got these guys like what the fuck they have to do because it's so regulated now just to try to squeeze and then the fucking hundredth of a hundredth of a second to try and win this fucking race. The level of science, physics and all that shit that's involved that these guys, the fucking egghead shit that's going on in there and then right across the track is just

fucking. I don't know. I went to the Indianapolis 500 two years in a row. I went to drag racing. Do you know in between races, they pull the whole fucking engine out and rebuild the whole goddamn thing in between races. There's a whole team of guys. Why? I don't know why because it matters that much. Everything has to be brand new. Okay, like that cool song you guys made up, right? Brand new. Sorry. Everything has to be fucking brand because if it isn't, if it isn't a brand new fucking engine, the amount of money that could cost you that split second it cost you was a different like six figures. Wait a minute. That's what they're doing when they stop and all the guys run over and drag and drag racing. They're changing the

engine. I thought they were just like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wiping off the windshield. No, I'm not. I'm sorry. The oil and some maybe no, no in that type of racing gentlemen's dot you're. That's right. They hang one of those little air fresheners from the rear view mirror. Right? No, no, I'm talking about in drag racing. You know those long skinny cars with the big fucking tires, then they got the parachute comes out in the back. The engine sits behind the driver. They finally figured out to do that after years of them trying to see around it. Why do they have a parachute though? Don't they have brakes? They do, but it's going 300 miles an hour. So you need all the help you can get and they don't have flaps to put it down and you

can't reverse the engine like a plane. I see. And they're landing faster than a fucking 747, but it doesn't weigh as much, but that's all the fucking physics. Okay. And it's also probably, if they stop quicker, they don't have to fucking make as big of a track and that saves the guy owns the track money. All of this shit, all of this fucking nerdy egghead shit. All right. Okay. So this is what white people do. They get on a fucking, they get on, they get on a dirt bike and they figure out how to go off a ramp and flip in the air two times over and they land into foam and they figure out how to do that. And then they try to land. We're bored. We're fucking bored. White people need gangs again. Like, if you notice, like white people

I thought we were going to get into all this in the 20s. When you had the gangs in New York, was that the 1800s? I'm fucking right. We would, you know what it was? I know I could really try. I could really trash white people right now. I could really say some mean shit about us. Once the genocide in this country was over and there was nothing left, we just got bored and we just started fucking with animals. There's really something. There's evil about white people. I mean, I just feel like you're always trying to like take over something or like oppress somebody or like hurt someone. Like why I would say this please explain. I don't think it's a white thing. It is an opportunity thing.

And most people, well, if you notice, look at this business. If you look at most people in this business, you see when they get a little something, how it affects them. Some people are fine with it. A lot of people when they get a little bit of power, I'm talking just getting a fucking, you know, enough money to have your little personal assistant, you know, I asked for dick half, you know, they start doing shit like that, right? And you talk and you're talking about such a fucking basic level. When you get to the upper rational, when you're talking about like, you're going to start a fucking war, and you're actually going to profit off of it. I mean, and you go into those fucking parties where everybody wears a mask,

and you sort of walk away from your wife and come back later and act like you didn't fuck 40 women on a pile of gold. Like human beings can't have to be kept in check. We can't handle that level of power. So as fucked up as white people, look, if you really read a little bit, you know, not read, I know you read all the time, but if you read about, you know, you go over to Asia, you know, there's some characters over there that that will give white people a run for their money. Yeah, well, that's a very arrogant fucking attitude. Why don't you read it first? Okay, yeah, check out some of the stuff, you know, go over there and bring up Japan of anybody who doesn't live in Japan about some of the shit that they did. I really want to go to

Japan, though. I know, because you saw lost in translation, and you're not going to read about it. Keep that white people reason why. Listen, I mean, I was I mean, it's definitely I used to do a bit my f saying that white people are the Jordans of evil. Like every group has their hitters. We're I don't know. We're innately good at it. Don't you want to go to Japan though? Don't you want to see Tokyo? I heard some. Yeah, no, I like it. I like it. I love the food and all the time. Listen, I'm not singling out Japan either, like they're any fucking worse than anybody else, but they got some characters over there that have done some things. Well, you know, you insulted them a little bit between like the stock car racing and everything else, like hopefully you guys will come

back from, you know, the brink because I feel like your PR rep is asleep at the wheel. What do you mean? Listen, one of the great things about being white is you just don't give a shit what other people think about you. Really? Clearly. Yeah, I don't give a fuck what you think. Why would I give a shit? You know what I mean? Where am I going? Question that was supposed to be asked. I'm trying to find it right now. Yeah, I went easy on you, by the way, with skateboarding and stuff and stuff. I went easy. Okay, I could I could have, you know, I could have brought the other shit you bring up though, then it's considered fucking racist, even if it happened. Well, we would have done that if we had the opportunity. Right? Isn't that what all the women say? I don't know. I would have bench

pressed 600 pounds if I was allowed to go to a gym. Oh, my God, how funny was it last night? We're not going to name names here. Okay. But after the fight, when my buddy, right, me and my buddy are hanging out. I'm in my late 40s. He's in his early 50s. Ah, fuck you. I'm not going to say anybody's name. No, no, no, no. No, Nia, Bill, Nia, Bill. Oh, God, you're such a fucking party pooper. That was just the generation gap there. Yes, it was. I could do some advertising here before you fucking. Oh, my God, it's almost an hour over. It's almost an hour over. No, I'm saying the hour is almost over. I have like fucking verbal dyslexia. I can't even talk. So you're going to walk out of here and just you just don't think white people have done anything?

Not like culturally. Is there anything that we get credit for artistically that it's that Spike Lee or some other grumpy guy with black frame glasses isn't going to come along and say, well, actually fucking Pine Top Johnson fucking did that originally. I feel like you guys probably were the ones that started like using like a jug, like blowing on a jug as an instrument. Hey, who who like I feel like that was a that sounds like a white invention. Not invention, but just like blowing on it somehow. Like, but you stopped with this passive drinking like all the moonshine. Remember you talked about moonshine earlier, like drinking moonshine and then putting it down and going, who that was

a lot of moonshine. And it was like, Oh, that makes a who who who and then you came up with that. Really start no wonder why you married. Okay, I'm going to leave you to do your advertising. Okay, why don't you go read up on some things? How smart was that? I did not take the bait didn't take the bait. All right, Dollar Shave Club, everybody, I got to tell you, shaving the old way sucks a lot. It hurts. You lather up with cheap foam, wincing his hair is scraped from your face with those old worn out razors. You won't throw away because they cost so damn much. Not anymore. Dollar Shave Club sends amazing razors for a few bucks.

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Legals owners can be peppering you as I slowly the personal computer nerds. That's a whole scene. Right. That's a cool scene. Nerds with computers. Whiskey. Right. Right. How about the Earl of Sandwich? We came up with sandwiches. That was cultural. You guys eat sandwiches all the time. You stole that from us. You don't see us bitching every time you have a sandwich, do you? Legal zoom. Each time you get in the car, do we go, we invented that by the way. So Elvis was bad. He didn't write a song every day. He drive that shit every day. All right, legal zoom. Do you want the government to decide what happens to your property and minor children? Jesus Christ. No, I don't. All right, legal zoom scaring you right out of the gate.

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Okay. Irish sweaters. We invented that. Everybody's neck was cold until white people came along. He started knitting. Come to Russia. Hey, Billy, Kami, Redford, you guys started barbecuing. You started that? Yeah. And then we took that from you. We didn't take it from you. We just were influenced. You're still allowed to do it. I've never understood that. You took it from us. What about all those blues musicians? They never heard music before. They never heard. They didn't fucking, they just slowed it down. What are you talking about? Beethoven played all those blues notes. Beethoven. Yeah. Was Beethoven an American? I'm just, he was white. No. Oh, okay. You're

still, oh, you're still. Tell my music. All right. Okay. Can we just move on to the question? I like this. He shit's fun to me. You didn't think that was funny? Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. So really look, there's really only seven notes. So everybody kind of played everybody's show and shut up ukulele face. All right. Come to Russia. Hey, Billy, Kami, Redface. I've been listening to your part chess for over a year now. And I was really excited to hear about your Eastern European tour next year. But I'm pretty sure you don't even think about going to Russia. Yeah, I do. Moscow. It's right near the Baltic States. I'm going to try to go to Lithuania and fucking those other two ones that are there. Estonia. That's two out of three.

That's not bad for an American. Okay. And Balamak. I can go to Moscow. Sure. Mali crew went there. You ready to party Moscow? Yeah. On MTV. Hair metal. Hair metal scene. Oh, white people definitely came up with that. Yeah. Dressing up like a lady and singing rock. Santa Claus came up with that. I thought Santa Claus was like a, no, not like, I don't know. Is Santa Claus black? No, it's from another country though. It's not America. That'd be the courteous name ever for a black guy. All right. Hey, Billy, Kami, Redface, blah, blah, blah. I'm pretty sure you never think about Russia. I know it's very unlikely for an English speaking comedian to visit us, but Dylan Moran and Eddie Izzard did it a couple years ago. Eddie Izzard

probably did it in Russian. Guys like Albert Einstein telling jokes. Did it a couple years ago and it turned out great. Well, if you decide to come here after all, you should not, you should bring Nia. Sorry. I just, my eyes went to Nia and I saw the end. You should bring Nia. Okay. And visit St. Petersburg. Not only because that's the second largest city in Russia and I lived there, but because of the beautiful architecture. Lots of museums. I hate museums. I'm fucking going there looking at plates and shit. This is a spoon somebody used in the 1500s. You can see the beginning of the microwave on this structure and all that crap. I think she loved it here. I also hope you'll at least consider St. Pete as it's not far away from Scandinavia

and everything here has become way cheaper for tourists because of our weak currency. And it was in St. Petersburg. Then I used to belong to Finland and they beat Russia in World War II, but they were down with Hitler and then they had to give up that part. Or is that something else? I have no idea. That's right. Yeah. Why would you? But if we go there and Pussy Riot is playing somewhere, I'd love to check them out. Why would you do that? Why would I do what? Go see Pussy Riot in Brooklyn with some fucking nerdy white kid that wants to be naked on TV for six months. That's what you do. You don't see it in Russia where you get arrested. You're showing you clam. I can't show you clam in Russia. On the unrelated note, I subscribed to Netflix just to

watch your show last December because you just couldn't stop bitching about the pirating. I think how he turns it around on me like I'm the asshole. And Netflix is not even available in Russia. So I have to use the VPN and shit. Oh, poor fucking baby. I go, see how much we love you here. Please come to our beautiful and totally not hostile country and see it for yourself. That's not what a cab driver told me when I was over there in Europe. Say you got to be careful in Moscow after dark, but then again, you got to be careful here. Please come to our beautiful Toledo. Yeah, what the fuck? I would love to see St. Petersburg. I think that would be really cool. You know, it'd be funny if it's a totally fucked up city and this guy hates me and he just lures me

over there and beats me over the head with my mixer. All right, female coach, a Billy butt kiss. Thoughts on the Cardinals hiring a female coach. I hear she can take a hit. Think she's got what it takes or is it a publicity stunt? What does that mean? Take a hit? I think it's football. I had no idea that they did it. You didn't read about this? I tapped out on the news during Hillary Clinton, Bruce Jenner, and somewhere around there. I just I just I've been too busy to watch anything on the news. I heard that there was a woman that was hired to be an NFL coach, but I don't you know, I don't follow football. So that seems like a very big deal.

Why? Because they've never had a female coach before. Yes, but how is that like how is that going to affect wins and losses? It probably I probably won't matter what gender you are. You have to be a good coach. Yeah, yeah, but it's it's still like it's never been done before. So it's historical, right? Yes, it is. It is. We have let to we have yet to learn any lessons if any just yet, but it's a big deal that's happening. It's a publicity stunt. It's not a publicity stunt. I'm not saying she's not qualified, but this is what the NFL is a corporation and every quarter they have to have a show again. That's just how a corporation

works and they're trying to make more money. So they have reached every possible fucking football fan. All right, they did that years ago. So then they started bringing in people like Britney Spears to sing during the Super Bowl, just trying to get people hooked on it. And then they wear pink for a whole fucking month. Now they're getting in with trying to get in with the ladies to try to get more. It's just it's I think it's a business move that's going to be disguised as forward thinking. I'm not saying she's bad and not qualified or anything, but I just think that that's why they're going to do that. I don't give a shit. I don't have to I don't care fuck if she if she's good and they win that I think it's a good move. If she stinks,

unfortunately, all the other women behind her will be judged. So I imagine she has a lot of pressure. It's just weird when you go into the locker room, you know what I mean? Everybody's standing there with their dicks out and shit, you know what I mean? Now they got to cover up. It's weird. You'd rather they just be able to stand around with their dicks out and not have to worry about covering up. Well, I mean, I don't think like that. Does the male coach walk into the females locker room? Is this sitting there taking off this sports bras? Probably not. They go, look, we got to get out there in the second half and shave your clamp. Slow it down. Probably not. Definitely not them afterwards. Definitely not in the last.

So she probably does the same thing. Definitely not. She's not in there like talking to them like there's no way. But then that hurts her as a coach. That she can't go in there when they're standing there with their dicks out. How did that hurt her as a coach? Because they go in and they discuss strategy during halftime. You go into the locker room to talk about that. Are they naked during halftime? No, but after the game, you talk about the next week and that type of shit, but if somebody got hurt, it's a locker room. Somebody's got their dick out. It just happened. Somebody's got to take a shit at halftime. It fucking happened. I guess that's what I was wondering. Do you have to be naked just because you're in the locker room? Yeah. And this is what's

going to happen. This is what's going to be all the adjustment. They're just going to keep adjusting it. Okay. Yeah. And then a guy can't have his dick out in a fucking men's locker room. Oh, the injustice of it all. You see what I'm saying though? You guys just keep encroaching encroaching encroaching encroaching. And then we always have to adjust to you. You guys do not adjust to us. Well, if you're walking into a men's locker room, there's going to be a dick out and you're going to have to either fucking deal with it or you have somebody go in there and take some notes. I'm sure she's prepared to deal with any dicks that are out. I'm sure, I'm sure it'll be fine. Oh, God. I don't think she needs to worry about this being out. You guys are obsessed with us.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You're obsessed with keeping your dick out in the locker rooms. What does that say about you? No, I'm saying you guys are obsessed with us. Yeah, we're totally obsessed with you. Yes. Why can't you guys just start your own shit and fucking go do that? Well, it's not a start car company. Why? Why do you guys always have to come? It's a men's football league. There was a woman's football league. I wouldn't give a fuck. I got to get in there, stay next to some clams and discuss strategy. I'd let you have your fucking deal. Absence makes the heart grow fonder in the most loving way ever. Fuck off. Can you fuck off for three hours on a Sunday? Can we just have a minute?

Jesus Christ. The shit that's set in a locker room, now they're going to get offended. I love it. I love that the NFL is doing this. I guarantee there's going to be something fucked up happens. There's going to be a lawsuit. Didn't that happen years ago? It happened in Boston, right? The fucking, the woman went in there and these guys acted like fucking immature idiots. And then there was a lawsuit and then she had to go to New York. It was a fun. The guy had to sell the team was nuts. I don't know. I don't know. I was talking about dicks being out in locker rooms. Yeah, nothing good. Very fast. Can happen about that. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I'm uncomfortable in a fucking locker room. I go to the goddamn gym. You fucking go in there. Okay.

You're staring at your eyelids, but eventually you're going to walk by somebody taller than you. It's going to be hanging down. You're in a men's locker room. You're going to see a dick. It's just happened. I was going to say men don't like talk to each other like naked in the locker room. So the other day I went to the standing there. There's always, there's always the naked guy. There's always the naked. Well, this is not, there's also a generational thing as far as being comfortable being naked around another man in a locker. Oh, like the old guys don't care. They don't give a fuck. Yeah. They do. They grew up in the Little Rascals era. They like the parents bedroom and then all the kids slept in the same fucking bed with a dog and like a fucking Wolverine.

Right. Then you had my generation. I was one of the last generations that in gym class, the guys gym class, you went in and when you showered, it was just this communal fucking shower and you went in there like a bunch of cattle. Fuck you. No stalls or anything. Everyone just went in there. There's a bunch of like shower heads all around, but no stalls. So no privacy. And that started in sixth grade. I remember the first week locker room like that. The first week of gym class only like six kids had the fucking balls, no pun intended to take the shower and they went in the shower and it was wide open. Like all the lockers were all the way around it, the school I went to. So you could, like they walked in that dude and me and like there was

like six other guys, we were laughing like hysterically. These are kids I knew all the way through grade school and they came walking by butt ass naked. That's the thing about a naked guy. It's either the funniest thing ever or absolutely terrified, just spending on the situation and it was fucking hilarious. But after like two, three weeks, it was normal and no one gave a shit. And that we were part of the last like generation and we thought it was like when we heard like the women's gym, they had their own little private showers, which was weird to me. You think the guys would be fucking more weirded out. We were actually more advanced than you guys, more mature. We could all shower together and be after the first week and be mature. I don't know if that's

what that really means. What does it mean? That you guys are all animals. You know, you're all animals. Just throw you in there and hose it down. I know. That's really what it was. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck animals. So anyway, so there's different levels of like generational, you know what I mean? That guys will just like old guys don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. And then there's the weird guy who also doesn't give a fuck. You don't know what he's doing. That guy you come walking in, right? The gym I go to like you can see like you come walking in the lockers to the right and then straight ahead is like the sink area with the mirror and shit. And like, you know, I walked in there one time and there was a guy staying there completely naked except flip-flops

shaving. And I just, I walked in, I just, and I just went, really, you can't fucking just throw a towel on. Anyways, I'm just saying. Dick's be out in the locker room. All right. Big green egg. Hey, Bill, congratulations on the new big green egg. Actually, he's had it for a couple of years. I'm not by any means an expert, but I've been experimenting since December with mine. Based on your description, we have about the same setup. Egg, the guru with two probes and a fan, rib rack, et cetera. I also have a pan that I keep watering. Yep, I've seen that, that you put on the plate setter, right? And put it in there while I'm smoking. All right. So he says, I put it on top of the smoking plate. Yes, just like I've seen in the YouTube videos. He goes,

I'm not sure how much of a difference it makes, but it seems to keep the inside of the big green egg pretty human. And it catches a lot of the drippings, a few pointers, keep the charcoals at the line. All right. That's the Phillip line. I think that's what they said. Soak the chips, but don't soak the chunks. You can soak the chunks, but they smoke just fine without soaking. Yeah, it's hickory. It just smokes, right? It's easy to get the big green egg hotter, but really hard to get the temperature lower if you overshoot. The temperature is all about air flow. The top vent on a slow cook 225 is cracked to about a quarter inch. This is what I've seen on YouTube. When you clean out the ash, make sure you have it cleaned. You've cleared all the holes

on the bottom of the grill. They can usually clog up and the big green egg won't perform like it usually does. This is if you're going to smoke something for ribs. I've had luck with the yellow mustard spice rub combo. Dude, you watched the same fucking YouTube video I did. This is the video you showed me with the mustard. Yeah, prep the ribs the night before. Make sure you remove the membrane from the ribs before you rub it down and make sure the ribs out of the fridge and let them get to room temperature before you slap them on the smoker. It usually takes about eight hours or so for three racks. I can't wait to try this. I just set the temperature to 225 and let them go until the ribs get to 190. I wrap them in foil and let them rest about 20 minutes.

Dude, I cannot fucking wait to do that. I'm going to get good at that shit. I'm going to try ribs in a pork shoulder this month, hopefully. All right. Let's get through this because this thing's going to take forever for me to upload. All right. Yeah, you want to go? Yeah. All right. Good to see you. That was a fun one. I love the jug thing. That was a good one. That was a good one. The jug thing was good. I feel pretty strongly about that joke. You got so passive aggressive. You're like, so like, ah, fucking went to that Rhonda Rousey face when she talks about a, you know, when she talks about, I always say everybody's name. Am I saying name right Rhonda Rousey? Yeah. All right. She fucking

gets that fucking dead look on her face like, yeah, destruction is about to happen. All right. Eating help. Oh, by the way, most of those fights kind of stunk on that one, except for that one where the guys ended just doing the rock and sock and bleeding all over each other. That was my wife fucking freaks out when that shit happens, not in like freaking out like, oh my god, gross. She loves it. Standing up screaming at the TV, grounded pound, grounded pound. Yes. I fucking love it. Lunatic. All right. Eating help. Dear Bill, bills and roses. Hello from Wisconsin. Ah, the badges. I'm 22 year old factory worker and guitarist. Jesus Christ. I used to work in a fucking warehouse and I played drums with a bunch of musicians. How do you guys always end up in

the fucking factory? Oh, that factory's not a warehouse. Bill, just read the goddamn question. All right. I've been a fan of yours for five to six years and want to first thank you for everything you've put on. All right. All right. Nothing. Looking forward to efforts for family. Gotta get that plug in there. Okay. The reason I'm writing to you is I for my entire 22 years of existence have had a hard, have had a hard gut that I never ever been able to shake off earning myself the nickname teapot at an early age for my short and stout appearance. Oh god, that's hilarious. I'm a little teapot short and stout and they started calling you teapot. Oh, and you started to have fantasies of murdering all of them. Anyways, I wouldn't say I'm obese, but I'm

certainly starting to lose the battle of the bulge. Well, I get a bit of exercise from work and hit the gym once in a while. My diet is complete shit. The thing is I was raised on takeout fast food and fried fats. Dude, the fact that you're not a big teapot is pretty amazing there. So that's already a victory. He says, I literally don't know how or what to eat a way to start for that matter. All right. Well, I would go on the internet and I would start looking up nutrition. All right. Shocker that this West constant native is a shitty eater. Most where most of the populations looks like they could play O line for Mr. Rogers and the Packers. Could you please give a few days worth of meals to eat to lose pounds? I think I figured now

is the time to get in shape. Absolutely. And attract a cutie so I can start to build my empire. All right. P.S. Tom Brady is innocent and anyone who thinks otherwise is just upset because they have to watch their team eat shit every Sunday. Unlike our powerhouse dynasty teams. Best luck. Best luck to Brady and the Patriots organization. See that? See that? What happens when you give respect to the Packers? The true New York Yankees of the fucking NFL because they won all they won in every fucking era other than the 20 years after Lombardi and Bart Starr. You know, they went to Lynn Dickey, the magic man, and then they got Brett Farve. And then it's been all good. They fucking won championships from the 1930s all the way. I've already read off

all their fucking championships. NFL championships, Super Bowl championships, whatever championship existed, whatever era they fucking wanted. They won more than anybody else. All right. Here we go. All right. Well, all right. This is what I every day what I've been doing is I have oatmeal in a banana. I don't put anything in the oatmeal, no milk, no sugar, no honey, none of that fucking shit. I have that. And then for a snack between that and lunch, I have an apple. And then for lunch, I have a sandwich with the side salad. Sometimes I just have the meat and no bread. And that's if I'm, you know, I weigh myself every day and I try to lose two to three pounds. And if I feel like I'm off course, I won't have the fucking bread. And then I don't know,

between like fucking lunch and dinner, I don't know what I have. I usually try to eat something healthy. If the worst thing I'll do is maybe cereal, I'll scramble a couple of eggs. And then for dinner, either go totally veggie, or I do the protein the size of my hand, my hand, palm of my hand, I should say, and a side salad. None of this shit is groundbreaking. You can find all of that online. And I try to stop eating like around, you know, six ish around six o'clock. After that, I just drink water the whole night. And if I'm hungry, I have pre cut celery sticks in the refrigerator that I will either just eat those or if I'm really feeling kind of more hungry than that, I will have like a half a spoon or a spoonful of peanut butter. And you fucking do

that and you add cardio, the fats got nowhere to go, at least for me. And it's just been falling off my body. Although I'm still disgusting, man, I can still sit here and just grab a nice fucking handful. But whatever, man, I've lost 10.2 pounds. 10 points. I'm shaving down the ham here, people. All right, Boston hates the Olympics. This is the last one. Hey, there, Billy Jim rat. I read Boston won the bid to host the 2024 Olympic Games, but the city couldn't get the citizens behind it. Apparently, Boston residents don't want the games to be held there. I thought that was weird because Boston always seems very proud of America to me. I figured they'd be stoked about hosting the games. They root for a team called the Patriots, but have little or no interest in watching America's

finest athletes compete. I would like to hear your take on this. And I'd also like to know what position you take on the matter if you were living back East. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Yeah, what kind of fucking moron wants the Olympics in their town? You don't want the Olympics in your town. You want your the Olympics in the city that's close to you. So you can drive to it if you want to go see it. Like I wouldn't want it in Boston. I put it in Hartford. I don't want to deal with that fucking traffic. The traffic's already fucked up as it is. You know, you have a bunch of people coming over here and it's not, is it the winter Olympics at least? Olympic hockey would be the shit, but nobody gives a

fuck about track, the high jump and all of that shit. I don't want to see that. I like the winter Olympics and even then fucking put it in New Hampshire. There's too much traffic in Boston. They got like 40 highways and they all fucking merge right at the TD Bank North Garden. And there's no way to go. They stuck it all underground because it's so fucking annoying to look at and they put a park over the top of the thing and they try to act like it isn't happening. It's a complete fucking shit show. Yeah, it's a shit show and there isn't the Olympics. All right. We don't need that shit. We don't need that shit. All right. Fuck that. You want the Olympics, you take it. We'll come and visit you. You know what I mean?

That's like that old analogy I said my brother taught me about having a boat. He's like, you don't want to have a boat. You want to have a friend who has a boat. Then you just show up with the 12 pack and you're a hero and then you fucking leave at the end of the day and he's got to deal with the barnacles and dock in the fucking thing. That's the same thing with the Olympics. You don't want the Olympics in your city. The only people want the Olympics in the city are the people that make money off of building the tents and the shit that the people have the tents, the fucking state, those people want it there. Nobody else wants it fucking there. And by the way, they're not the finest fucking athletes. Okay. The finest fucking athletes get paid. You know what I mean? They're

professional at these are amateurs. It's a fucking sports open mic. Who the fuck wants to watch that and have a tie up traffic? All right, everybody. That's how I feel on that shit. I hope you enjoyed that debate that fun debate I just had with the uh, what does it say? What else do I got? I keep saying it's fun. So I just please, please don't if you're going to be fucking ugly about it, just write to somebody else's podcast. Just try to have a good sense of humor about the shit. Okay, we've all contributed in our own little way, culturally, racially, humanly, all of that. All right, don't be fucking morons. All right. So anyways, that's a podcast for this fucking week. Um, I'll check in on you on Thursday. If you'd like to donate to the podcast, just go

to billbird.com, click on the podcast page. Anytime you go to Amazon, you can just click on the Amazon app right there or whatever you call it, the link, go there, buy whatever the fuck you want to buy. And they'll kick me a little Doremi for, uh, you know, I don't know what for driving traffic there. And then I kick a good 10% over to the St. Jude's hospital and everybody wins. All right, that's the podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you on Thursday. You think there's always one in your mind on Beepat.be. Beepat.