Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 8-6-12

Episode Date: August 6, 2012

Bill Burr interviews stand up comedian and host of That Metal's Show - Jim Florentine.

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podcast is what I should be saying. Every once in a while, I'm graced with a guest and, you know, so you get an extra episode this week, all right? So it's an extra hour in your cubicle that you can actually not want to kill yourself and gonna get right to it. My guest this week is somebody I've known, I think for about 17 years. I was thinking Jim Florentine, Jim Florentine. Yeah, man, it's good to see you.

Yeah, it's probably been. I mean, we didn't, you know, we never did too many gigs together or anything like that. We were always, you know, you were doing your thing. I was doing mine, but you came up in Jersey and I was the suburbs of Boston. But I always felt like you guys, you, Norton, Voss, that whole crew, even though Voss probably started in the 70s, but I'm just saying like you guys kind of had the same thing where you weren't in New York City. Like we both had to like migrate there.

And I feel like when I started to come, I started coming down in New York with Patrice and like 94, 95, moved there and like 95. And I don't think I saw you when you had the long hair. I think you had your hair cut by then, didn't you? Yeah, well, 92, 93 is when me and Norton tried to start going in New York City and just, you know, what no part of us. Yeah. And then about 94, 95. But whenever Kurt Cobain came out like 93 late 94.

When he died or when he came out, well, no, when, when, when did he came out at like 96 though, right? No, he came out in September of 91. And then he died in April 94. And I only know that because of my love of metal and metal was over. And all of a sudden, I thought he was a douche when I first saw him when he was doing like making fun of the tap on solos. And that smells like teen spirit.

I knew he was making fun of metal. And I just was, I thought the guy was a dick. I'm one of the few people who admits that because everybody see, I've talked about this in the podcast, people seem to like when they bring up that Nirvana album, Never Mind, everybody seems to act like, like they knew that this, that there was going to be this total shift in music. And, you know, there was something in the air and all that. And it was just, it took, I didn't get Nirvana until after in utero.

And then I saw him in when they did Unplugged. And right as I started to like him, Kurt killed himself. Yeah, no, I think I really get in that album in the beginning. And you know, and you know what? It's weird about that. It's like everyone thinks that that was the album that changed. I mean, it kind of was, but it wasn't their music specifically. It was MTV and radio decided that that metal wasn't cool anymore.

And they were going to stop playing, you know, how do they like collectively like that is amazing that that album came out. And the second that came out, it was like all of a sudden, all the bands I was watching weren't on MTV anymore. I remember even Madonna was bitching. She had some fucking catty little interview with Kurt Loder. And he's like, Hey, haven't made too many videos off of this album. She goes, Oh, why should I make him?

You guys don't show him anymore. You don't show my videos anymore. And he and she kind of went right at him. And then MTV, like a bunch of pussies started showing her videos like right after that, like I would have been like, Yeah, well, fuck you. You're old now. Yeah, absolutely. But no, what happened was they, you know,

and then Pearl Jam came about the same time, right? They just saw MTV basically decided what what was popular. And then every radio as soon as they started playing Nirvana and Pearl Jam, it was the hot new video, every radio program across the country goes, OK, that's what we got to play now. And they just totally discarded the metal. So what does that happen though? Like they have like some fucking Bilderberg group of like radio stations.

Like they have like a conference. Yeah, you know, it's just one guy like, you know, one big program or probably the guy from fucking Z 100 in New York, right? Whatever that douchebag was. And he started going, Oh, you know what? Nirvana is the newer Pearl Jam. And then everybody have other radio station. What's New York playing and L.A.'s playing this?

Oh, we got to play it. And then they just copy. It's just, you know, it's like a TV business. One show successful and they'll try to put 50 more out like that. Because I remember that that was overnight. And I know I'm old now, so I don't pay attention to like music changing. But that's the last time I remember it was just like I thought it was going to be like headbangers ball and fucking you remember that the top

was that thing that that guy who tried to dress like a headbanger but wasn't the guy was from like fucking Sweden. I'm that European guy with the blonde hair. Adam Curry. Yeah, yeah. No, no. Is he not one of the original guys? No, he was like that guy that wore a leather jacket.

He had the fluffed up like blonde. Yeah, Farrah Fawcett. Yeah, yeah, that was Adam Curry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he used to host that top 10 thing. And I swear to God, like the top 10 was like eight metal videos. And like maybe Janet Jackson would slip in or fucking Jody Watley. They'd be like one R&B thing and and then some like new kids on the

block thing or something like that. And then the rest of it was all fucking guns and roses, skid row. And I thought it was going to be like that forever. Obviously, I mean, it was a young kid. I didn't know that music changed. I thought disco sucked. But I have to bring this up. I talked to you right right before we started this thing was how I was

trashing a lot of the metal videos that I saw. I came home one night like late at night and I put on like VH1 and I was astounded at how bad some of the music was that I listened to. And some of the videos like there was one quiet riot one where they actually sort of wrapped or did some sort of scratching before their song came on. I want to say it was about Russia. I don't know if I know that one. It must have been later one.

Yeah, no, no, no, I combine shit. But I like, I don't know. So people think I don't know that I don't like metal. I like it. But I don't look at it like like with like just, you know, with blinders on. No, no, I mean, if you look back at those videos, because of each one classic plays them all the time, Metal Mania, I'll play like four hours. I'm that a fucking awful Ronnie James Dio.

You know, I love Ronnie. He was a great dude. And, you know, I personally know, but walking around with a sword and fighting these demons and, you know, saying, come on, you're playing a met. And he's going through the woods. And he says, did you remember when they were out though? When you were a kid, you thought they were sick. You're like, did you see the new Dio video, dude?

It's fucking unreal. Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, they always and then the other like the poison's always had the hot chicken there to warrants. Always had that. It's like, holy shit, do you see that hot man? Is she fucking hot? You look back, she's not that hot.

No, no, they were awful. They were awful. It's funny because we're going to have Nana and Nancy, Nancy, Nancy and Anne Wilson from Heart on our show in a couple of days. I mean, my friend Eddie, we're talking how we used to jerk off to Nancy Wilson because she had the big tits and she had the cleavage, you know, which was at the redhead of them. Yeah, yeah, just anyone.

Yeah, they always had the tits out, you know, they had to in the 80s. And I was like, that was that's what I jerked off to in 87, 88. Do you remember when the other one got real fat and they tried to shoot around it by doing like an extreme close up of her face? Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they tried everything that they could. She went she was sort of like the original like fat chick from like

Wilson Phillips. Yeah, yeah, that she had like the I don't like when people get fat and they complain about this business and the pressure to stay in shape. It's like you want to be on a stage and eat whatever you want. And it doesn't work that way. You have you have to come into this business of fat fuck. Like if you come in that way, like it's the fat fuck, then you're all good. But you can't become fat in this business.

You're going to, you know, you're going to get trash. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, yeah, she was she was hot in the 70s. Yeah, she was. You know, yeah, she definitely put it on. I was I was reading an article on them. They were saying how the record company was so afraid to tell her just to lose weight that she was the record company, you know, brought the band in without her

and said, please talk to her because we want to piss her off. But she has to lose weight. Right. And the band went to where she got so fucking pissed. She left the record company at the time. I think it was capital. She like fuck them. Yeah.

And she was wearing like these wear all like that leather and stuff. Yeah, it's not a good thing. There's a couple of people who got fat. George Thoreau got fat. Yeah. He still wore those those snakeskin leather pants. I went to some fucking blues festival and he was there and he came out with these fucking things, dude.

He looked like he just had a kid. It was it was awful. And it was like one of those things where it's like, dude, you got to do something, wear a button down and some jeans and hit the fucking treadmill. It's just one of those. If you're like in this business. Absolutely. You can't you can't, you know, losing your hair or anything, you know, like

that's right. You know, I lose a mind and I'm just saying, fuck it. I'm just letting it go. Yeah. Yeah, it's start. I'm starting to go in the back and I'm just like, what am I going to do? I'm going to scalp the back of my head and then have that shit put in the front. I just, I just, this is why I look at it.

You know, if I was going to be the next Brad Pitt, it would have happened by now. I'm fucking, you know, it's like, I'm 44 years old. What am I going to fucking be some 50 year old sex symbol? Yeah. You know, I'd rather be the just the, you know, dude, I do a podcast that told jokes, I'm good. I can make my fucking rent. I don't need to go there and get my fucking face yank back and have some

pubes taken from fucking my dick and stuck on my head. I mean, no matter what, this business is going to be finished with me at some point. So I've kind of made a rule that I am going to try to look like a fucking human being at the end of this, you know, unless unless they so get like the facelift down, if they get it down where you actually can still look like a human being like, I've been talking lately on stage. Have you seen that that synogenics or whatever it is, you know, like those Yep, yeah, guys, I look that shit up like those old guys who were shredded.

It's fucking they are on HGH. That's what I thought it was. Yeah, they're on they're on they're on fucking. That's why that guy has that tone. Like he wants to fight his kids. Right. Better shape my kids. You feel like he's getting ready to snap.

So like, don't they say that that's like cancer causing like the HGH. So like those guys, that's this first wave of old guys. They're probably going to fucking something bad is going to happen in four to five years, and then they'll use them as guinea pigs. So I figured by the time we get there, it's like Roy's now like back when we were kids, Roy's, you know, the shrink your balls up, you got fucking titties. It was horrible. And then you fucking died.

And now, but now they got that that synthetic stuff, they got the clear that they just keep making it better. So real quick, if they if they come up with a fucking pill for a full head of hair, or you know, anything, or if it just feels like your head's on fire for a minute, I would do it. But like as far as like scalping the back of my head, there's no fucking way I'm doing that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm on the fence about that too.

I mean, yeah, I mean, there's never been a sex symbol all of a sudden that 44. No, even George Clooney made it like 32 or 33. And that was like late. Yeah, he was all he was he was around for 10 years doing little bit parts. And all of a sudden they got ER or whatever. And then he became a sexist. And plus the advantage of kind of being a mess is no one really pays attention to your aging as much as like if you're in that people magazine,

50 most beautiful people, people always say the funny shit. Oh, my God, you see someone. So what happened to her? What happened to him? It's like, dude, what the fuck happened to you? You think you think you're like, you know, under glass, not aging? So yeah, you're right. You're right.

That's just I try to keep it as low maintenance as possible. Jean's in a T shirt and fucking whatever. And I brush my hair and I'm fucking doing it. You know, I don't want makeup on when I go on TV. I don't know. I don't want to know. We had that guy seriously. I go to I don't for what, you know, it's funny.

I like how we're acting like being a sex symbol is actually an option for us. Yeah, I know. Like we're going now. We don't want that if we just took care of ourselves a little better. Well, speaking of but look, when I was in late 80s, early 90s, when I had long hair, I took like Bon Jovi's whatever style he had or David Coverdale from White Snake and I got a lot of fucking ass. So I was almost considered a sex symbol back then, even though I wasn't.

I know, but you but you can be a local sex symbol. Well, I was in Pennsylvania. I was a fucking 12 on a scale of one to 10 because they were still five years behind the whole like, you know, long hair thing. So I would do all these gigs out in Pennsylvania, just fucking clean up. That's hilarious. Do you ever go back there? Like, is that like your Germany?

Like David Hasselhoff, do you ever just go back to Pennsylvania? Do like a book signing or something? No, because once I cut my hair, they cut me off. I would they no longer like I was over. They would they were mad. They just like memory Metallica cut the hair or the half their fans were pissed. Yeah, they fucking cut their hair with Felicity. Yeah, who cares?

Oh, so that's going to change their music. So when I yeah, they turned on me, Pennsylvania, too. Just before all my listeners trashed me for knowing the Felicity thing. I took an acting class with a girl who was on the show. It was some show called Felicity and every guy like 14 year old boy loved this girl Felicity. And then she she got her this, you know, I'm going to play softball now haircut and the whole fucking show tanked and this actress was a little bit older.

So she was she came in just bitching one day because she finally had a fucking regular gig or something like that. She wasn't one of the main people. But, you know, she was on like three, four fucking episodes of season and this chick cut her hair and like a hundred people lost their jobs. Well, yeah. So that's how I know what people before I could see. I could see that.

I mean, I'm one Cheryl. I always thought Cheryl Crow was hot. I think she's a memory when she came out with that fucking soccer mom hairdo for like a year. No, all off and it was really short. It fucking she looked terrible. You can't do that. You can't as a woman, if you come into the business, fuckable, hot or whatever,

you have to look that way. The whole it's the same thing. It's the same thing like even as a guy as a guy, if you're coming in and you know, you're all shredded and you have abs and that type of shit. You got it. You have to you can't get fat. You know what I mean? Unless I guess you playing some trying to win an Oscar, but you couldn't.

But you then have to go back and lose the fuck. Yeah, absolutely. So that's the thing, dude. So if I look like fucking Ron Howard, you know, it's I basically I realized now that I'm losing my hair that I'm going to look like him. My whole fucking life, which is really disappointing that, you know, there's no, you know, there's no fucking problem. But you're you're 44.

I mean, you'll, you know, when do you think it might the career might start slowing down? You think he got to at least 50, 50, I think it's going to start. Dude, what I'm doing right now, if I just do if I make money off my podcast and I make and I just keep putting out specials every couple of years, I'm fucking good. But my free time is priceless. Like, you know, you get into this fucking business and they start going,

I want you know, like, you just think that you want a TV show. And then I know you get kind of close to it. And I mean, I don't know, like your show, if I was going to do one, I like a show like yours, that metal show where it's like it's that's taped in pretty much real time, right? Maybe a couple of pickups or whatever. And real time for people not in show business here is just basically, you know, 30 minutes show is shot in like 30 minutes.

And maybe if there's a couple of flubs, if you said the name of an album wrong, you might have to go back and rerecord that. But like those one hour one cameras, those are that's 12 hours a day, like five, six days, I think was it five days a week? They should they shoot an episode every four days and they start the next one Friday and you just keep going. I don't know. I guess it's like three months of your life.

Right. I'm too, uh, I would rather just go slug it out in a strip mall and just make money that way, and then just come back here and then fucking play guitar or fuck around. Absolutely, man. Um, I love taking time off. You know, you gotta do it. Absolutely.

Just, you know, because I was always like, even I would work on holidays. I'd feel like if I didn't get on stage in two days, I'm like, what am I doing? Man, fuck, right? I'm going to be rusty shit. I'm one of my one of my doing my career. Everybody's passing me by and now I'm like, gives a shit. Yeah. No, no, you gotta like, when you guys tape, like you're out here right now in

Los Angeles to tape, uh, like how many of that we're only doing six episodes. This we already taped to a few months ago, whatever they're going to put them. But yeah, we take two episodes in a day. We take from three to seven. We knocked out two, two hour episodes in four hours, basically with like an hour break in between. So we just, yeah, we just pump them out. I notice shit, you know, and I mean, it's not like I got to study it.

We got, you know, guys Meyer made and shit coming on, which I've been fans for years. I just like, I'm just interviewing one of my idols and there's a, you know, a camera on, which is awesome. Jesus Christ. It's not too much research. You're like, you like, you've quietly created, you created the co-creator on this show?

No, but no, I mean, I pitched it with, uh, you know, my buddy, well, Eddie with trunk, uh, he's a DJ in New York and he's been on for a while. I'm working record labels and stuff. We became friends. I go on his radio show and we just, you know, debate metal. And he goes, I'm going to try to get this as a TV show. Dude, that guy is on like a whole other level. Like he has to be the biggest metal fan ever.

That guy, like, I like, he, he takes it all, like really, like seriously. Like, I feel like if I could get into a bait with debate with him and he could actually convince me that kiss is just as relevant as the Beatles. Oh yeah, he can. Yeah. Like I'm seeing, I mean, I can sit there like, I love AC DC, but I mean, they're not on the same level as the Beatles. They just not, you know what I mean?

Like it's, they just not. No, no, I love those guys. I'm not trying to bad luck any bands or anything. And I love those guys to death. By the way, I thought that was hilarious where they described your, uh, your show, at least on Wikipedia. They said, uh, that, that metal show is the, uh, the tonight show for AC DC fans. Yeah, that's the greatest phrase ever.

Who came up with that? I don't, I have someone in a review, someone that came to the show and reviewed it or something. Cause they wanted the VH one wanted to say it's, it's the view, uh, it's a cross between, uh, the view headbangers ball and the view. I'm like, get that fucking nobody. I go, no one that likes hard rocker metal watches the view. Once not, don't say that.

They go, no, it's a successful show. And they're like, and they wanted me to say that in interviews and I would never say it. And like, they were getting really pissed. Like he's got, tell them to say it's a crook. I go, I'm never saying the, what is wrong with them? Just them in general. See, that's right.

When I hear stories like that, I just like, how do you just not go? That is the dumbest fucking idea on the, you know what I, I just, I just feel like sometimes they just have to say something to justify the fact that they have a desk. Cause if they, if there's, if there's, they just want to be like, oh, it's, it's, uh, headbangers ball meets the view. I came up with that. That was my contribution to that show.

And now I want to go create something else. I guess that's how they go up. I'm really not trying to sound like a bitter asshole, but I am here. No, of course you have to be. Cause it's like, come on, we know, like, no, like that fan base. When I go to an Oz fest, I can go up to 20,000 people. Do you watch the view and the fucking about 19,000 would punch me in the face? Yeah.

For even asking them that and no one would say yes. So why are we going? It's a cross between headbangers ball and the viewer. Soon as the guy, if I saw that, cause I was telling him, I go, if I saw that, I go, uh, the view, I'm not watching that. And you know what their thought is? Their thought is, well, this is a very male demographic. We got to get the females in there.

So then they throw in the view and, and just they can't, you know what it is? They can never make enough fucking money. They just never make it enough. They always have to do it. And then they got to add some extra fucking thing. And then when it nose dives, then they put it on you. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

And then you would have to bear that cross. Weren't you in that show that was like the view, but you had Ozzy on it? And you'd be like, that wasn't the idea, you know? And the other person gets to just skate away. I know I've been lucky because, um, you know, the producer gets it. And, you know, we fought for what would they really, I think originally they wanted to be like a rock of ages type thing. The goof on the 80s metal.

They wanted us to basically dress in spandex and put wigs on and, you know, go, oh, that stuff. And we're like, absolutely not. We're three fucking guys with no energy. We're not physical. We just sit there and we'll talk heavy metal. But I don't make, I don't, we don't make anything bigger. I'm not, we're not flashy.

We don't throw kicks. I gotta admit, I've been real jealous watching some of the people you've gotten to talk to, like just knowing you have Iron Maiden. Iron Maiden is one of my big, like I fucked up that I didn't go see them. I could have seen them on the power slave tour. I forget what it was. My dad was pissed at me or something. I fucked up like two weekends before and somebody had another ticket.

And it was like, you know, I was young enough where I still had to ask permission still living at home, like 16, 17. I was just like, yeah, I got to let the old man cool off. And I can't make that one. And I actually think my friends didn't even make it to the show. They got so hammered. My friends were idiots. But that's one of the big ones.

And you see, I saw one time I was flipping through and I saw you had Jason Bonham on and, you know, I'm a John Bonham freak. And I met him one time at Guitar Center in somewhere in Florida. I don't know why he was in there. He was living down in Fort Lauderdale, Coral Springs. I think he still lives down there, Jason. Oh, OK. Yeah. Well, I ran into him and he was cool as hell.

He liked comedy. And I got this, like, you know, cell phone pictures back then was like a flip camera and they usually awful somehow it was fucking great, which is this awesome picture of me and Jason Bonham. And then I left the fucking cell phone in the goddamn cab on the way to the airport and I had never sent it to me or sent it emailed it to myself or anything. So I was flipping through the fucking channels. Dude, I'm such a John Bonham like freak that when like, like when I shook Jason's

hand, like I was thinking like he shook his dad's hand at some point he had to move, you know, like he walk around going, hey, dad, but it just like I literally felt like I don't know, I was like the biggest fanboy ever. So when I saw that you had them on him on the show, I was just like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I mean, I would that guy would have like had to call security if I actually got to sit down and ask him and it would be like 50 million questions about his dad, which he's probably sick of answering. I think he, you know, he doesn't mind it, though.

He went on that whole Zeppelin thing and supposedly I heard from a reliable source there's going to be something going on with Zeppelin at the end of the year. Oh, is that right? Yeah, I don't think the guy wouldn't say what he's like a famous photographer who's really close with Jimmy Page. Well, I thought I thought Jason played great during that last reunion that they did for the head of Atlantic Records when he died. Yeah.

And what I loved was he just he was doing like an amalgam of like studio and live shit he heard his dad do. Plus he had he had a lot of him in it. Like I thought that he wasn't I mean, that's got to be terrifying because like Zeppelin fans and like drummers like I hate like I look at like there's a lot of people do like drum covers on YouTube and they'll do a drum cover of like fucking, you know, some Zeppelin song and somebody will kill it and someone will be like, good job, but there's only one John Bonham.

It's like everybody knows that this guy doesn't think he's fucking John Bonham. He just loves the guy and and it inspired him to learn how to make play drums and learn how to plays. I've even seen him like Jason. Jason's Bonham will have like, you know, him playing drums and he's fucking killing it. And some would be like, you know, yeah, but he's nowhere near his dad. It's like nobody is right.

And he doesn't have a t-shirt saying I'm really near to my dad when it comes to drums. It's just so fucking annoying. And I don't even know why I read the comments. I just, I think I just read them just to see that just to get mad. No, of course. And look, if John was still around and Jason, John goes, I'm out of Zeppelin and they hired Jason to play drums.

And you can go, hey, you know, you need his dad back there. He's no, he's no John, but he's not around. What are you going to do? So fucking just let Jason be Jason, right? Which is why I don't mind when people trash Wolfgang Van Halen. I want Michael Anthony back there. It's fucking annoying. They finally got David Lee Roth back in.

Just get Michael Anthony back in there. You can never, he can, they get that will never happen. How does Eddie throw his son out of the band? Oh yeah. You know what I mean? That's the problem. And Alex is the uncle. He has to leave.

He's got to throw his son out of the band. You know, Michael's doing a show. Michael and Sam here doing our show this week. Oh, where were they going to be at? We're taping our show. Oh, is that, uh, this week? Yeah. Oh, if you want to come out, if you're around, you want to come to the taping.

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And on the conference call, a feature where you could have actually up to 95 people for each extension. It's incredible. It's basically, it's a business phone number that will, that will ring on your cell phone. Okay. Without anybody knowing your personal one, which gives you the option of knowing whether it's a business one or a personal one and not answering it and whatever.

It's absolutely perfect. It's an amazing thing. They offer an entire service where you can toll free local managing of outgoing calls. This is all, all the, uh, this is all the, the, the, the, what are the options? I can't even think this week. Uh, mobility, all calls forwarded to a number slash people don't have to know your, uh, your personal phone number, virtual numbers.

So long as you have a real number, you can give out fake numbers, but it rings on your own number. And if you don't pick up on your business, uh, your, your new virtual, um, phone number, they actually have professional accents, uh, professional, uh, voice actors to give you any, any sort of like, like an outgoing message. Like if you want to give the illusion that your business is bigger than it is, and you have a bunch of employees, one of the options that they have is that you can actually have.

Like I personally, I would pick some sexy female voice with like a British accent, just gives your business credibility. You know, they'll send you emails with the text transcription of the voicemail. Um, or not the option is totally yours. Uh, it's a great way to basically have all these different business lines without having to drill a bunch of holes in the wall in your house. You know, you got, hello, welcome to, uh, widget, widget, so whatever I'm doing a bad accent, you know what I'm saying?

You can start the whole frigging thing. So it's email, uh, e voice. Check it out today. Do I have a website here? What the hell is it? Uh, hang on one second. Let me get this website. Yeah, it's evoice.com.

There you go, Bill. You're genius. Um, once again, evoice is your mobile phone at work. It's perfect for business, uh, business person on the move. Uh, like myself, I'm actually going to get one of these phone numbers just because when I travel from club to club and all these, uh, different radio stations, like my, my phone number gets out there and, and I get weird phone calls sometimes, you know, I rented a car in Chicago.

Like Avis like three months ago and I don't know where I got it. I had to write down my, my fucking cell phone number and, uh, the guy worked at Avis called me up. No, he actually sent me a text. Hey, so you stand up the other day. Really funny. I'm the guy who rented you the car at Avis, which is beyond creepy and I'm a dude, so I can only imagine how that would make a female.

So it gives you the great, like, um, privacy options while you still exist in the big business world. Features. E voice offers includes call forwarding, call routing, toll free, um, 800 numbers, auto attendant, um, advanced voicemail, voicemail, the text of voicemail, the email, however the hell you want to do it, uh, click on the E voice banner on bill burr.com on the podcast page or go to www.e voice.com slash bill burr to get your exclusive six month free trial, six month free trial.

Evo, yeah, E voice, your mobile phone at work. Um, that's one of those ideas where I'm just like that right there is why I'm not a billionaire because I just look at that. Like that idea was just out there and, uh, I just did nothing. Why didn't I jump on that like YouTube? That's one of those ideas. Um, anyways, but now I'm telling you about them. So you got to check them out.

These guys are great. All right. Um, cause I've actually done half the shit that they do here and I paid a fucking lawyer to do it. It cost me a zillion dollars. Um, all right. If you basically, are you sitting in a cubicle right now? Are you wondering why you're making somebody else's dream come true?

Why you're working towards that when you actually have an idea for a business. You know, well, and you're sitting there going, well, I'd love to get myself incorporated to start my business, but it's going to cost a fortune. Well, at legal zoom.com, if you've been waiting for the perfect time to start your dream business, um, right now is the time to do it. You can incorporate your business or form an LLC at legal zoom.com starting at just 99 bucks. It costs me like 1500, something like that, 700, 1500.

I can't remember. It was a lot of money. They'll do it for 99 bucks. And if you have a family, um, and you need to make sure that they're protected, legal zoom also will help you, uh, make out your last will and testament for just 69 bucks. That's something that I have to do. All right.

I have to make out my last will and testament, which is really a scary thing for me to do. You know, cause you're actually dealing with your own mortality and considering I just had a dream like I did last night, it freaks me out. But I got to tell you, if I'm going to do it, I'm doing it for 69 bucks. Um, in the past 12 years, over 2 million Americans have used legal zoom for LLCs, wills, trust, trademarks and more. This is basically, look, if you're trying to start a business or if you need a

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Legal zoom is not a law firm and self-help services are provided at your direction. All right. So that's the deal. There it is. You want to start your business. You want to be incorporated. That is the cheapest, most efficient way to do it. Uh, I wish they were around back when I got incorporated.

Could have saved myself hundreds of dollars. So there you go. Legal zoom. I fucking miss everything, dude. And then we got Steve Harris taping that same day too, from Made. Of course you do. Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you?

And then they're raffling off a, uh, John Bonham drum kit. Yeah. And yeah, Paige and John Paul Jones are coming in on Thursday. Can you make that? Ah, you know, he's got some insane stories, but isn't in, in a, uh, isn't in a metal band is Steve Gorman from, uh, the black crows. I did his podcast. Yeah.

If you're ever, I don't know if, you know, I'm sure you would tell me about him. Oh my God. He's got some great, and I'm not going to tell any of them. I'll tell them to you when we're off, just to give you a gist of some of the stories, but I mean, I don't know what he wants out there. Plus he, he lived them. So you tell them better, but, um, how the hell did I get to know him?

I think I do in his podcast is I got to know him. And then the black crows came and they were playing the palladium one night. There's some epic, like three hour show, like first half was acoustic. Then they came out to the electric stuff. It was incredible. And, um, he's one of those just really just, you know, you know, been through it and back and back again, you know, so just totally down to earth. Totally cool guy, man.

He would be great. I mean, I don't know if black crows are two, uh, rolling stone. No, they would fit in. I mean, yeah, the black crows. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you that guy would be, uh, a fucking amazing guest. If he told half the stories or just one or two of them, they're just really like, you know, it's, you know, it is, as a comedian, we have a bunch of stories,

but so much of it is solo shit. And as much as you might not get along with another comedian, um, you don't have to go out on the road with them. And it's just that thing of like, you know, I've done a couple of comedy tours and it's just like, you know, there's always, there's the late guy. There's the fucking loud guy. There's the dude to snore in, you know, there's always, there's always, and you have to learn how to get along with those people.

I don't know how the fuck these bands do it. I don't either, man, being on a tour bus for frigging six months at a time. No, and, and, and they all got that fucking story too. Like the second the tour ends, like they just, they just all leave in different cars by then and they don't talk to each other for like fucking eight months. Yeah, it's unreal. I mean, I don't know, uh, I think that's how I would have been with my friends if I was in my early twenties, when you don't recognize like, Hey, shit's

getting out of control with everybody's relationships. We need to have a sit down here and you just let it get to that point with a level of resentment is so high. You don't even give a fuck that you're playing arenas. Yeah. You're going to walk away from that. You can't get along with the bass player. Does that even, doesn't even make sense, right?

They, um, yeah, it's speaking of which we got our Smith coming on a show this week. Of course you do. So who else do you got that I'm not going to be able to come into? I finally have a fucking hookup in this goddamn. Well, actually, well, I'll Smith, they're going to tape on, uh, Sunday. It's not Joe. It's not Joe and, uh, Steven. It's the other three Brad, Tom Hamilton and Joey Kramer.

That's even cooler. Though I know we want to get the unsung heroes of Arrowsmith. Yeah, that's even cool. What is it? I don't want to talk to Steven Tyler about fucking American Idol. I don't give a shit. You know what I mean? He said he's done though.

Yeah, I know he is done, but I'm just saying I didn't want to revisit that or any of that crap. So we got these other guys coming on. But there was a point where they weren't that those step bands always been fighting for years. There was a point that they didn't even play for two years and they were doing a gig over in like the buy and they were getting like $5 million to headline this big rock festival.

Right. And they had to do the gig. They weren't going to cancel it. They didn't talk to Tyler for two years. That Tyler didn't, they didn't even talk to him before he walked on the stage. He didn't, wouldn't even rehearse with them. He didn't, you know, for that one big show that didn't play the first time they saw him in two years is when he walked out.

When they still, when they opened up with like sweet emotion, when he hit the microphone, that was the first time they even saw him. That's how much they hated each other. Yeah. He would, he didn't fly with them. So then when they did the show, was he still putting his arm around Joe? He just went up there like nothing happened. But then you saw like six months later, had another gig and fucking Joe

knocked them off the stage. They had a plat day at a whole stage going out to the crowd, like a little thing and Joe frigging nudged him and he went flying in a crowd and he broke his, uh, like his arm or something like that. He had to cancel a tour and Joe was like, I do that to him all the time. You could see he did it on purpose. Like you fuck. You made me sit home for two years.

That would happen. I don't know. Cause you was a cop. Just think of us as a comic. We have to deal off. I thought he fell off the stage and then he got mad because nobody in the band ran over to see what he was. Well, that's if you watch the YouTube video, Joe nudges him and he goes,

I do that. Well, you'll do that all the time to each other. But he, he was right on the edge. You could see he fucking did on purpose, but just imagine that's like sports right there. I know. Was it, was he going for the head that he hit him with the shoulder? Is that an elbow?

He just gave him a little fuck away from me, but he can't get mad. The other guys didn't come to see the show's got to keep going. They just kept playing, hoping he was going to crawl back up. Wow. But just imagine as a comic, like say, you know, there's three or four of us touring together, right? And then all of a sudden one guy's being an asshole and doesn't want to do the tour six months from now.

And we got to sit home for two years and can't play. Right. That would drive that would drive me out of my mind. And then he goes on and does like a reality show. Yeah. I mean, Joe Perry just doesn't just join another band. Go fuck, I gotta get up on stage. They sit home and do nothing.

I saw Joe Perry project went on. I saw them at the House of Blues. Oh, yeah, it was cool. And then like, you know, when they come to LA, all the musicians, so many of them out here, it's like New York. So who came out like Slash came out and a couple of other guys. Like Slash is the shit. He came out and jammed with the opening band.

Like he doesn't get, he just doesn't kick like he just wants to play. I was speaking of torture. I mean, it must have been torture for him having to wait all those years for Axel before he just finally said, fuck it, I'm going to do my own thing. You know, well, that's the thing that people always ask if we're going to do, you know, facts that would ever get the original band back together. First of all, I'm not broke. So that's not going to happen.

They only do when they're broke. Axel's band, you know, guns is huge still. And over in Europe, they perform for like 30,000 people. So he's got money slash makes money. They all doffs a frigging financial whiz. He's fucking get that he owns like half a Starbucks. He's good. And, you know, Steven did drummers.

The only one that's, you know, he still has some money, but he, you know, he could use it is he who wrote most of the songs is like a fucking gypsy and just lives in a frigging like RV and just travels across the country. So he doesn't need any money. What what band is he in? He was a rhythm guitar player and guns and roses. No, no, yeah, yeah. But I remember Izzy in the juju hounds was.

Yeah, he did a couple solo solo records to sit only the money. But Slash even said he goes, look, he goes, I'm in my fucking forties now. He goes, and if we ever got back together, the original band and the opening band got off stage at nine o'clock and Axel didn't want to go on the 1130 way to make those fans wait. He goes, I'd walk out the fucking door on the bus and I'd go. I'd be in my bed by fucking 10 o'clock because I would never put up with that. I'm not going to sit.

I'm not fucking sitting around for two and a half hours. See, that seemed to be the problem is that they when I read Slash's autobiography, you know, just a few books that I read. If you ever saw like a list of the books that I read, it'd be fucking hilarious. There's like a couple of classics, kind of Monte Cristo, right? Prince and the Popper or some shit. And then the rest is just all. Of course, Tommy Land is one of my favorite books.

Hammer of the Gods. I remember reading that, thinking that they were really sold their soul to the devil. Right. Other than just some bad shit happens in life sometimes. But I remember reading the Slash one, just going like, why are they? There's a point in the book where Matt Sawram finally just goes down and knocks on his dressing room drawers or his trailer. He's like, get the fuck out here. The fuck are we doing?

Like it just seemed like everyone was just sort of appeasing every demand that he had. I don't know if it's because they were doing drugs and stuff. And they're like, as long as I got my little fucking pile of heroin over here, yeah, take, take control of the name of the band. I don't give a fuck like all that crazy shit that he did. Oh, you actually got like one of the few like sit down interviews with him, didn't you? What axle? Yeah. Yeah. What was that like?

It was a man. He's a good dude, man. You know, he's just look, he's a hermit. He's frigging private. He doesn't want any publicity, you know? He just like sits at home and when he feels like going out and touring, he tours. And, you know, he's a maniac. I mean, like, you know, just that he he asked everything has to be 100 percent perfect for him to go on stage for him to put a song out.

That's why I took him so long. But he's a good dude. Like a perfectionist, you mean? He's a total perfectionist. Yeah. And he just and but he's got a great sense of humor. He's just a down-the-earth dude. But and there's so many rumors about the guy and we talked about. He goes, I don't even he goes, what am I going to do?

Address a different rumor every fucking five minutes about me. You know, the London press like a year ago said that he just he kills all the neighbors dogs. He he'd be backs over him with his truck and then he runs back over me. He's like, what am I going to do? Am I going to go out and issue? He goes, so people think people think I'm this big as asshole. He goes, whatever.

I just how many rumors do you come up with? Well, that's that's the next one. Like, well, you know, I know we already got that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Runs over the dogs and then he runs over him again. Yeah, he runs him over again. Jesus, he's like, so it goes to just so much, you know, bad shit about me out there. He goes, look, and he addressed the whole thing about being late.

He goes, even as a kid, my job was right next door and I would still be a half hour late. I'm always just running late. I'm an airhead when it comes to that. But he goes, I like everything to be perfect. Whatever I do when it just takes I know. But do be an airhead like I don't know where my car keys are. But when you hear 80,000 people with their what the fuck? Where are you energy or whatever they perform to 30,000 people?

I think, you know, I don't know this. No, there's got to be something wrong with you. Like if you were sitting backstage in an improv or a theater and the opening act got off and you just sitting back there and you hear the crowd like, what the fuck? And you sit there for an hour and a half. Like, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. No, yeah, make them wait another 45 minutes. There's no way we do that in a million years.

No, I would be so afraid that that might that would be the last time anyone would ever come to see me. Absolutely. I wouldn't even do it out of respect for the fans. I would do it out of fear of going back to what the fuck I used to have to do. You know, speaking of that, how much how much stand up do you get to do? Like during the year now with all your your projects? I do like two weekends a month. I'm out, you know, do it road stuff. So you're doing it then?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I still do, you know, do a funny bone, you know, improv. Do you still go down to like the clubs in New York or anything? Well, once in a while, I do the seller. You know, killing me, man. I'm like the I feel like I'm the only guy like I go down to the comedy store and like the improv out here. And like when I think about all the guys that I started with and all that,

like, I don't know, like a lot of them, they just don't come around to the clubs anymore. Maybe I need more of a home life. You got a kid now, right? Yeah, I got a kid. So that's tough. You know, I got right now. That's totally to do a seller spot of 1210 ain't happening and get home, you know, and they're running late and then I get home like one 30 or two because I want to hang, you know, just be a, you know, talk and hang out and shit

and, you know, catch up with everybody. And then, you know, he's up at fucking seven. Yeah, you know, and it was amazed at how Norton could, you know, once he got the opening Anthony gig, I remember like a few times I sat in for him and I would go out and try and do stand up that night. And I was already wiped out if I had done the show that day and then try to get up at like, you know, five 30 in the morning. Like he's been doing that for like what, 10 years?

Yeah, 12 years. Ridiculous. I don't know how he does. He's a maniac. Yeah. Does he sleep during the day? How does he do it? Yeah, so he takes a nap during the day. But still, it's like, you know, he hits an early spot, you know, he's probably done by like 10 o'clock. He said he goes to bed at like midnight and gets up at five.

Five and then his brain is that quick. Like he has one of the quickest minds ever. I've never gone in there and I've seen him just like, like not on even Jim. Like if he's tired, his brain always seems like it's like sometimes it's sometimes it's better because he's so fucking miserable that anything will set him off. You know, I love what he does. I like how he's into that UFC shit. I like when he has the guys come in and they do the holds.

They'll like show come in. You hear that fucking noise he made? And somebody put that on a loop. I watched that one time when I was on the road, just fucking laughing my ass off. I feel like like just killed like a good 10 minutes on the road. Just dying laughing. Yeah, you get these guys put them in chokeholds. They frigging punch them.

Yeah, this guy like what did he do? He took it. He kicked him with his shin, like. Yeah, right. We get a Charlie horse and the look on Jim's face was so priceless, because it was like one of those pains that was so severe. Like it it it was like a pause before it set in. And then he literally looked like nauseous.

Right. Like he and I remember Kenny was upset, too, going that he's like, that guy didn't have to hit him that hard. That was bullshit. He didn't have to hit him that hard. But it was it was worth it. He's a trooper, man. He really is, man.

He did that guy deserves everything he gets. Because I mean, that guy would get off a plane on fucking Christmas day and do three spots at the cellar and tour the comic strip. I'm like, dude, you could take a day off. Yeah, family. I got spots. I got to do it. Yeah, you remember that shit when we used to go down when we used to do

the food spots at the cellar and we would do them and then you'd play. Everybody would play chess and just shit on each other. If you weren't playing chess upstairs at the olive tree. Thank you. No, I love about that. Thank God nobody was because I'm so fucking codependent. If they were all drinkers, I would have been boozing like every night with them. Uh, but thank God they weren't.

So everyone just sat around like, like Patrice never drank. Yeah. Jim doesn't drink. Bobby didn't drink. Yeah. None of those guys drank. And I remember, uh, getting into this, this cycle of going down there and doing like a 12, 12, 30, you know, David Tell was always at 12.

So I'd be on after I'm like 1245, 1250. And then you just sit there and you always be like, I'm going home early tonight. I'm going home early next thing. It was like four in the morning. The amount of times I took the subway home. You stick the six from Astor place. I take it up when I was living with fucking Bobby and we'd be getting off the train and the sun was coming up and people were coming out to go to work.

And, uh, it was so fucking, but it was kind of cool. But then also I always felt like a bum because I used to be like a morning person had like a paper route and all that type of shit. And, uh, then you get in that awful cycle where you'd go to bed at like seven 30, sleep to like three or four, and then you just wake up and do what? Get breakfast. And it was time to go down the fucking cellar again. Yeah.

That's, that's a tough, you know, I live with Norton for like four years. And that's what that was his schedule. I would go to bed at like two. I was never six o'clock. I go to bed at two and get up at 10. He was a guy that, you know, at seven in the morning, he'd still be up. And then I have to wake him up at like six o'clock. I go, dude, you got spots.

You got to celebrate eight o'clock. I'd be waking him up at six o'clock. How long did you live with him? Like three, probably three years. And you guys were able, you guys seem like you'd be able to get along good. Absolutely. Yeah. We got along great.

And we live right outside the city. We paid like 300 bucks. We let, we had a, I had a girlfriend at the time that lived with us. It was 900 bucks for rent. So we split it three ways. 300 bucks a piece. Perfect. We were fucking five minutes away from the GW or the Lincoln tunnel.

It was beautiful. It was a shithole. It was fucking mold all over the walls and stuff. We didn't care like 300 bucks. It's fucking beautiful. I lived with Bobby and we almost killed each other by the end. And, but I actually learned how to let shit go. But Bobby has this, this great thing where he can get past shit.

And I didn't come, I didn't come from a school where you got past shit. It's like, you did something to me and then we had, fuck you, fuck you. And then the shit was over. But I learned through him how to be like, all right, dude, you know, you don't write somebody off because they spilled orange juice on your fucking little kitchen TV that you had there. You know, um, but we lived in a, you know, we lived three people in a walk through one bedroom apartment that was one bedroom.

And then it was like a sitting room. Right. And we actually use that as like the bedroom. And then in the living room, Bobby had a pullout couch that he slept on. It was ridiculous. And the, our room might use anything, but I brought a chick back there. He always fucking walked through. Like we, Bobby put like shower curtain up.

It was fucking hilarious. And the guy always would come fucking and he fucking like trying to peek in to see the chick you were with. Oh yeah. You know, not during, but like afterwards when you fucking lay in there. So one time Bobby fucking, you know, the dude came walking through. So Bobby was naked and he was underneath the covers. So what he did when the guy was coming back was when he'd come back as

the way you were laying in the bed and he'd look to see, I don't know, see your titties or whatever. Bobby pulled the covers off of himself and was laying there totally naked. And the dude came walking in locked eyes with Bobby and Bobby was just like, what's up? He never did it again. Really? He never did it again.

It was fucking, it was brilliant. It was fucking brilliant. It was classic Bobby Kelly. Like, you know, I would have sat there for fucking four days trying to figure out how I'm going to approach this subject with him. He just got right to the call. I'll just show him my junk. Right.

That'll freak him out and I don't have to say anything. It was it was fucking perfect. That's great. I used to have a roommate where his dad used to come home and want to look at the girls that were we brought home. Yeah, he was real creepy, right? Yeah, you know, we like, I think he fucked one of his son's girlfriends after they broke up.

Wow. Yeah. Was he a younger guy? No, I mean, you know, I mean, he was like 20, he was probably like 45 and we were 20, something like that. He was a ball dude. He wasn't good looking at all or anything like that. Jesus.

Yeah. So he's always, so I remember one time, like we weren't, we only had one bedroom we're sharing. We had these two girls there and I was on the floor at one. He was, the son was in the bed with the other and he comes home and he's peeking in and he turned the light on. He looked and never forget. He looked at the bed and he couldn't really see.

And then he looked in the ground. He saw this girl and she was fucking fat. That's what I got. And he's like, who the fucks with Orca down there? He said that. Yeah. What did the girl do? She, I, we just put that like, oh, get out of here.

And we just put, you try to drown him out. We tried to, but it didn't drown out at all because it was, it was awful. We were, we were, I was trying to hold it in because it was pretty fucking funny. Who's with Orca? Yeah, dude, you had that thing. Yeah. I never had like, I could never hook up with somebody. I was, I, some of my friends, they could just hit anything that fucking

moved just for the numbers. I always had, they had to be some sort of like some sort of attraction. I remember a couple of times my friends like, dude, what the fuck? And I was just like, dude, she's gross. And they'd be at least let her blow you. And I was like, yeah. So I tried to do that one time and I'm hooking up with this girl. And she was, ah, she just was fucking, I don't, you ever hook up with a girl.

She's like young, but she wears like an old person's perfume. Oh, the worst. She smelled like she was fucking 80. She smelled like she was fucking 80. And that's all I could remember. I just remember banging her doggy style with my head turned to the side. Yeah, it was horrific. No, that's, that's, that's bad.

I went through that phase for a while, but then I needed, you know, it had to be quality, but there was times where because I had quality, dude. I never saw it. Like there were certain guys I saw, you know, they'd bring girls down to the cellar. I was never a guy who brought girls down to the cellar. I never like, I never trusted like, I just feel like you're just bringing them down to the lion's den. Well, yeah, yeah, you know, if someone didn't take her at the very least, you

know, I would go down there and take a pounding, some epic fucking pounding. I remember one night, Patrice was getting, was going after Norton and Norton had some girl there and they got into it a little bit. Yeah, because Norton doesn't like that. Like if you know, he says something because Patrice will say something that a girl or something, Norton doesn't like to get, you know, if he perceives he's totally makes sense, which totally makes sense. But you know, Patrice, once he saw that, that Jim was annoyed, it was fucking

hilarious. It was really, really fun. Jim really got mad and, you know, of course, they, you know, they squashed it the next fucking day. Well, Patrice did that when I brought a girl down. She said something stupid while he was sitting at the table. He's trying to be nice and she just said something and I forget what it was. And Patrice just laid into her and the girl's like, I want to go. I'm getting out of here.

Why is he so mean? Yeah, of course, I was bad at that. I'm like, yeah, I go, he's an asshole. I don't know. You know, I thought he was my friend. I don't know why I would say that. I mean, I'm like, that was fucking funny. You deserved it, but I wasn't going to say that.

No, Patrice and Keith Robinson, if they were ever there together, it just was like, why would you do that to yourself? Like I didn't have the skill to still get laid after parading the girl past those two fucking guys because they were either going to trash her or they were going to trash me and make me look like an asshole or even worse. I really took some epic, epic fucking poundings down there. I was not good at that. It took me, I was not good at that game.

Just sitting there trashed people because the way I learned the game was it was serious and you went right for the fucking jugular. Like Bobby has that a little bit, right? Which is why we probably almost killed each other when we were living together. But I don't know. You know what I wanted to talk about here? How far into the salary? 45 minutes.

By the way, you're a fucking great guest. Thank God. I appreciate that. You know what I mean? There's nothing better than when somebody comes over and they can just shoot the shit at the worst. You know what? If somebody comes there, like I imagine on your show and be like, yeah,

you had one of the greatest albums of the 80s. What was that like? And they were like, oh, yeah, it's nice. Yeah, it was good. It was, you know, yeah, it was there were some other ones that were good too. But that was I know, but I mean, it's we always discuss that. And like lucky that guy, Eddie, Eddie Trunk. That's, you know, one of the hosts, he's been in the business for 30 years.

So he knows these guys. So before he'll go, look, that's this guy's a tough interview, right? Say much or you can't get much at him or this guy just talks. He'll keep going and going. So we got to cut him off. So he knows, which is who's been, I guess you can't name a name, but who's been like just the toughest, like, you know, who's tough to interview, but a great guy, one of the great is Lemmy from Motorhead.

Because he's an old cranky British guy. If I love Lemmy, he's my favorite. When he passes, man, it's going to be a fucking sad day. Brutal. Yeah, I saw that documentary on him. It's fucking amazing. He's just a legend, man, but he's, he just gives one word answers. And you know, he needs a few cocktails in him to lighten up.

And if we're taping at three in the afternoon, he's got to have a few jacks in him. And, but he just gives a lot of one word answers. He goes, no, I don't, I didn't like that album to me. It was terrible. And that's his answer. He's not being a dick, but that's just the way he is. So it's tough to get stuff out of him.

He makes, he's a funny dude, but it gives me hope that guy, that you can boos at that level still, you know what I mean? Sixty six years old, smokes two packs of cigarettes a day, marble reds, drinks a bottle, at least a bottle of Jack Daniels a day and still does, you know, crystal meth from time to time and been doing it for, since he was Jimi Hendrix roadie back in the day. So he's been doing it since the early seventies. I watched the documentary on him.

He just decided to try like every kind of bourbon or every kind of Scotch. I don't know what it was and he had all the bottles like on his windowsill on the floor, going up a bookcase. I mean, it looked like, uh, like if they ever said, Hey, Bill, this is all the whiskey you and your friends drank over the last 25 years. And with him, I think he was just knocking them out. I don't know. He's, he's, he's more hardcore than Keith Richards.

Everyone's like Keith Richards with the drugs. And, you know, I read Keith's book. Also, of course, cause that's my library. He seemed like he said, like basically, you know, I think he has a drink every now and again, but like since basically from 1980 on, he's been clean, but like the publicity he got, the publicity that he got when he was doing heroin and getting arrested and everything, like he was never able to shake that. But he talked about like the way he did coke.

He goes, you don't sit there and just keep doing it. He's like, you do a bump and then you get on with the party or whatever. You know, you don't get so fucking high. You got to keep doing it. He seemed like a really like in control kind of user anyways. You know what I mean? He didn't like, I mean, as a comedian, my, all the reference is always like, you know, the new killer Holocaust comes, you know, cockroaches and Keith Richards.

The only people he's going to be shooting heroin into his eye. And you did. I just kept hearing that. And I thought that that's how the guy was. And I guess he wasn't at all. Yeah. I mean, I think he had like a good 15 year run from like 65 to 80 where he was just, you know, did a lot of drinking and coke and stuff like that.

But then he stopped. So he's not really that, but I mean, Lemmy's been doing it since, you know, 1970. That's unreal. Well, considering also that Betty Ford clinic didn't come around to like what? The mid 70s, even probably 80s. Yeah. So like nobody really knew like that first, you know, wave of people, the, the Elvis's and them, you know, just people not knowing that somebody has

a problem and they need like an intervention. I mean, if, if you were getting high from 65 to 80 and you figured out an 80, that's pretty good. Yeah. I think, dude, I got a problem with that shit, man. Like the level that I like to drink. I'm not an alcoholic, but like, you know, that's stupid joke. I'm not an alcoholic, but I drink like one.

Yeah. Like, I mean, I don't do Lemmy level of drinking, but like, I haven't drank in like a month, just took a month off. And I don't get like that. Like, oh, wow, everything's awesome. And, and it just makes me want to every day. It's like, I'm adding to the equation of how much I want to drink. Like after a week, it's like, I'd love like fucking four beers.

And then the second week, God, I'd love a 12 pack. And now it's just like, I want to drink like Lemmy to like, I have to drink like that and then realize how you can't do that. Then I stop, then you stop, like cold turkey, but I'm not like fending for it. I just fucking like it. You know, absolutely. Man, I was never one of those like my grandparents always had like a drink at the end of the night.

You know, I'm like, I'm like, as a comic, we never did that. We're like, Hey, just go to fucking God, you guys didn't because I would have. If you guys did, I would have. Yeah, I never did. Especially it's like, I'm on the road about the fucking full order del for three, four days. Yeah, I'll have some beers after the show, maybe call shots. But, you know, when you're home doing comedy sets in New York, I'm like, no,

I would never even think about having a beer or anything. Thank God. But now as I get older, I'm like, yeah, I have a glass of wine. Have a couple, but I don't go that far. I never, that was never my, uh, I never had that problem with the alcohol. I always just wanted to get a little buzz on just so I can wrap with chicks. Right. Because I had no, I was shy.

Right. So if I had a little buzz on, I'd fucking have some balls to go up to and say, that was my whole thing. That's really why I started drinking. That's why I never get in the drugs. So I would see my buddies doing Coke on Friday night. We, we went to go out there and they would do Coke and they would just fucking just spend 300 bucks and just fucking want to talk all night.

I'm like, let me just have fucking a six pack and let's go to the bar. Yeah. It's like a wrap with chicks. What are you guys doing? You're not solving anything over there. Fucking talking about American Indians who gives a fuck. You know, somebody told me a story about Patrice recently. I never, I never heard this one was about, he was talking to his mom about

trying weed. He tried it a couple of times and was like, and then, you know, tried it, got high and then just got the munchies and ate and he told his mom, he was just like, look, I'm just going to fucking save the money that I would have spent on weed and just go buy the food, just fucking get right to that. And it was just such classic for trees where he was always analyzing and breaking shit down that he didn't have to go through fucking 20 years. Like, dude, I got, I got some friends, you know, in this business and outside

of this business who have been regular users, like fucking getting a bag of weed every fucking week since we've been like 15 right through getting married and having kids and I mean, I guess it's all right if it doesn't get in the way of your life. But you know, I got a couple guys where it's just, I don't know. At some point, like I feel like a fucking, the thing with like booze is you can fool yourself by sitting there drinking like, you know, if you're sitting like in a parking lot, you know, shot getting beers, right?

It's pretty obvious that, you know, you're too old to be doing this, but you put on a sport coat and you had a whiskey bar. All of a sudden you feel like there's this sophistication to what you're doing. It's like, no, dude, you're getting loaded. You did this outside the Worcester Centrum before fucking Judas Priest concert. You're still doing it. Yeah, it's just you put in scotch and a glass now instead of drinking fucking beer out of a can in the parking lot, you know, you're trying to class it up

below. I never drank wine. I'm like, wine's for fucking pussies. Wine, I'd see my friend. What the fuck you drinking wine? No, it's good. It's nice and mellow. I'm like, what a fucking queer you are. And now I'm like the last five years. I'm like, oh, I fuck I've been in the wine country twice. I'm like, this is awesome. I know I hate that I like it. It's a horrific hangover, but I hate that I like it to me. Wine was it was something that rich people did. And then it was like the soccer mom thing. Like there's so many soccer moms out there like they're running joke is is

if it's after four o'clock or after five o'clock, you don't have a drinking problem. If you sit down and have that glass of wine. But from what I've heard, you know, having kids and that type of shit, you need a couple of shots. You do at the end of the day. But you drink. If you drink, you know, find some good wine, you won't get a hangover. I like Barolo. My, my girl's a big wine, wine connoisseur. And she knows she was buying like 15 bottle $20 bottles. And I was getting headaches to go fucking up at the 40 a bottle. And then it's fine.

You don't get headaches at all. So it's not, it doesn't have to be a hundred dollar bottle. But yeah, no wines and wines. Now I love it. I'm like, this is fucking great. It's nice and mellow and shit you have a good meal. And I get a little buzz, man. It's like, I get a little buzz on like a glass and a half. I'm like, this is fucking awesome. He used to take me like 15 beers. And now, you know what's weird? I'm drinking fucking, I'm drinking fag beers now. I call them all the micro brews and stuff. And I was never in the night. I was like, fucking,

where are you? Yeah, drinking. What the fuck? It tastes like just give me a fucking Coors light. Give me a bud. Stop with this shit. And my, my, my girl and her whole family drinks all those. And I used to make fun of my fucking fag beers. No, can I, can I want a Coors light? I want a bud light. I'm not drinking a fucking fag beer. Right. I don't want to weed ale summer fuck you. Right. And now that's all I drink. Is that right? Yeah.

I, I, I go to the micro brews just because I feel like I'm sticking it to the man. But then I'm like, who is the man, the guy who makes Budweiser? I love that guy. Like I'm actually upset that Coors light for the first time ever outsold Budweiser. So technically Budweiser isn't the king of American beers right now. So I've been ordering more Budweiser trying to help them get up and over the bar. Lately, you know what I mean? Yeah, but I'm telling you, man, those micro brews and all that other shit, those wheat, the ales and stuff, they don't give you hangovers. I mean, if you have eight or 10, they

yeah, because it's more it's pure. And I never bought that shit. I'm like, whatever. And like, I'm telling you know, it's just better for you. I thought the hangover just came from fucking, you know, you get dehydrated with all the alcohol. Well, that could too. But just, you know, especially the light beers are doing something to it to make it light. It's not fucking natural. This is such a classic fucking like bar room. Like none of us know we don't know what the fuck we're talking about. We don't know. It's like it's like the alcohol takes out, you know, yeah, the light process. You fucking drink this. Some

guy was screaming on me. What the fuck are you getting the light for? You know, it's the hardest thing when you're dried to watch as those fucking Sam Adams commercials. Like they have to be responsible for so many people losing their sobriety when they sit there and they fucking snort in the hops like goddamn Tony Montana. They got one recently, the guy literally jumps into the beer. He's like swimming in beer. Really? And like when you're not like when I'm drinking, I don't even notice those commercials. But when I'm not drinking and I fucking see that like I actually get angry at the people at

Sam Adams, like when you kick, like, I don't know who came up with that. But they're making it so fucking appealing. Right. That I don't know. They annoy the shit on me. But we're running out of time here. We only got like, man, I guess I can go as long as I want. But I don't want to fucking I go by the the old show biz adage of leaving them wanting more. Yeah, absolutely. But that's why my podcast like 18 minutes, 20, I fucking love your podcast. Really? Oh, me and Paul Verzi are like we Paul Verzi's get does a great. He does a great Florentine really telling you it's it's he got

me. He's want to tell me that you were doing because I didn't know you were doing it. He's like, do you think you got to listen to Florentine's pocket? Oh, by the way, hype your podcast. What? Where can people get it? It's on iTunes is comedy metal midgets. It's called Jim Florentine comedy metal. Yeah, it's on my website, Jim Florentine.com. I'm trying to think of how he does the impressions of what are you kidding me? garbage. It's a joke. Fucking joke. Fucking joke. Yeah. I know some guy tweeted me a day goes, dude, you sound so miserable when you start your podcast off. I'm like, Yeah, I am. I'm

fucking. Yeah, I'm sitting in my office by myself and something fucking bothers me. I go, I'm going to do a podcast about I'm fucking. I'm yeah, I'm angry. How do you think I know you're a big Miami Dolphins fan from knowing you're all these years? How do you think they're going to be? I think they could be pretty good. You know, they got new coaches and they got fucking old man parcels out of that what is fucking ancient 1980s. Let's get some big bodies on the defensive defensive offensive line to stuff to run. You mean, while it's been a passing league for the last 15 years, you fat ass

hole. So thank God he's gone a fucking overrated piece of shit. And you know, they got a new guy in there used to run the Green Bay offense and they got that Tannehill got a rookie quarterback and they got a couple veterans. I'm psyched. We'll see. I mean, look, they might go 10 and six, nine and seven probably. But you know, New England's a fucking monster always going to be. Yeah, we checking Brady, man. Yeah, we got lucky going to the Super Bowl. Peyton was out and when the Ravens beat us, they just fucking choked. Yeah, absolutely. No, I know. And the Patriots in Miami's division, I got no problem with them

because that's a well coached team. And they just fucking they go for the kill. They don't sit on leads when they're up 27 three to still throwing bombs. I love that. Well, I know what you're going through as a fan because I had to deal with fucking Dan Marino. Like I just was he just was unbelievable. Like to me, that guy is the best quarterback. I've like he's he's the guy that I saw go from the college to the pro level and make it look effortless. Peyton Manning's the close second. Yeah. But you know, everybody's all these guys fucking breaking Dan Marino's records now. It's because of all the rules changes that

they have. I always joke that Marina would throw for 5500 6000 yards. Dude, he had nobody he had no running game. One of the one of the things that I always talk about on this podcast is the fact that people give him shit that, you know, he didn't win a Super Bowl. And it's like the guy had no fucking defense. You guys had like two white cornerbacks at one point. Oh, yeah, we had the Blackwood brothers. Kyle and Lyle. Yeah, Lyle. Yeah, the brood. Yeah. There was like nine white guys on defense. Do we cooch and Berg? Yeah. Yeah. Doug betters and Alicia. You know that it Marina was telling me a story because I

became friends and was I worked on inside the NFL with him. And he's like my ultimate idol. He's the fucking greatest dude ever. Marino. He was told they had this coordinator, defense coordinator, Tom Oliver Dottie, who was the biggest piece of shit. He'd fucking rush three old white guys. And they would just keep that's why Ken O'Brien was a fucking genius against against my only against Miami. The guy was unbelievable. He'd rush three old white guys and they just leave another guy in the block. So it was six against three. The quarterback had a middle, you know, all the time the world. So anyway, he said before to

San Francisco, Dolphin, Super Bowl of 49ers, dolphins, Oliver Dottie in the team meeting for the defense Saturday night before the Super Bowl, told him, look, I don't know what we can't stop this team. I don't know what to tell you. I got no plan. And Marino heard that he goes, dude, he goes, just he took him aside, he goes, lie to him. He goes, fucking lie to him and just say we could we got a plan. He goes, I would do that to my offensive line all the time. You coming back and you could block Bruce Smith. No, I can't. You can't. He's a fucking pussy. You could block him. Just fucking get him on his knees because I

knew we couldn't. But I gave the guy encouragement. Yeah. He goes, I don't think Dan Marino hadn't. He had no running backs. He like Delvin Williams, Tony Nathan, Kareem Abdul, Sammy Smith. He had nobody. He had one guy Kareem Abdul-Jabbar gained 1200 yards, one season. He only had one running back rush for 1000 yards in a 17 year career. Right. And then he also had he had Don Shula, who the game had passed him by. And then who do you have Jimmy Johnson, Jimmy Johnson, Jimmy Johnson seemed like he wanted him off the door the second he got to Johnson hated him. Right. Mario told me a

great story real quick. He said, um, that's, you know, we're going to go long. If you fucking know Dan Marino, we're going to Jimmy Johnson. Jimmy Johnson was a dick to him. And it's a there was no reason for it. Because I bought into his plan. But he so anyway, he said that one time he goes, you know, coach Shula, Shula was a coach. He goes, I'll tell you, he goes Shula had a dog named Zonka, a fucking bulldog named Zonka. That's a fucking coach. He goes Jimmy Johnson and a little fucking Yorkie that he would bring on the on the team planes. He goes, we're we're trying to play Buffalo in the

championship game. He's in he's in the first seat in the fucking plane. Pet and fluffy. He goes, how am I going to fucking win with a coach that brings a fucking six pound Yorkie named fluffy? And he's fucking got on his lap fucking pet the thing when coach Shula's got Zonka. That's a coach. Did he ever talk about getting annoyed with people talking about him not winning a Super Bowl? Yeah, I'm not really. He just said, look, you know, what it's a team game. What am I going to do? You know, you try and that's all you could do. But he he

always said everyone brings up the fake spike play. He goes, you know, because he works out in New York on CBA. He's always in New York and he's like, all these jet fans go to Dan, you know, I hated you back then. But I do like but that fake spike you killed us, you know, and he says he goes, I just told him, get over it. Just get over it already. All right. It was freaking 1991. Get over it when he did that. What did that do to them? They knocked them out. They were there were eight and five at the time. The Jets they were going to they were on a roll. They won like six straight and Marino did the fake spike. And

they didn't win another game the rest of the year. They went eight and eight and then they went one and 15 and actually they went two and 32 after that game. What is with fucking New York and Boston? I don't know if anybody else does it. They're always into like the that old lady curse jinx. Like you didn't win another fucking game after that because you sucked. That's a little that's why because you didn't fucking you weren't ready to play not because he like that whole curse of the babe horseshit. Yeah, it completely ignores that the ownership of the Red Sox were like, you know, they could have started the clan with some

of their fucking ideas and like the whole game changed once Jackie Robinson went in, they completely fucking ignored it. And then also let's say that even if they weren't racist, like what the Yankees did going from, you know, I mean, they got Babe Ruth, they bought him, but they got Lou Gehrig to Joe DiMaggio to Mickey Mantle. That's like it's like going Jordan to Jordan to Jordan. One fucking franchise did that. And that was the real deal back then when you had to spot talent and they came up through your system. Yeah. And it's just like, you're never going to see that again. Like especially now, like I'm not

a big fan of these like these pile on teams. I thought it was really weird that Miami got like the shit that they did. And it's like, why doesn't anybody shit on the Lakers? Like they do just basically every fucking year with what my team the Celtics did in 2008. We bought that title. Yeah, you know, but the Lakers do it every fucking year. And and they're like Kobe's got five championships. One more, you know, he equals Jordan. It's like, dude, Jordan had Luke Longley and fucking my listeners like Bill, we've heard this is only time go fuck yourselves. I don't give a shit. Luke Longley and fucking

Bill Cartwright at center. And the only the only big guy that I remember them signing was fucking Dennis Rodman. Yeah, Robin, they got from Detroit. Yeah. And they had him during his last three productive fucking years. But like Scottie Pippen that was his guy, they had blonde hair dude and BJ fucking Armstrong me break. Yeah, well, you're right. Absolutely. I don't know. But also, in respect for my listeners, my hatred of the Lakers is so fucking blinding that it really kills any sort of rational thoughts. Haven't said that I love Kobe. I love his mentality. I love when he doesn't win a championship. And he

doesn't just go water skiing right after he loses. He fucking goes right into the front office. And it's like, What the fuck? Yeah, some guys like I mean that I wish everybody would do that. No, absolutely. I hate when they fucking smile after they just lost a game. Oh, they start hugging it out. They start hugging and shit like that. Hey, how's it going? You just want at the last second in a fucking field goal of 47 yarder. And then you're smiling two seconds later. Pat them on the head. Do we do that as comics? If we have a bad set and fucking, we're like, Yeah, let's go. Yeah, sell CDs. Hey, what's that

was fucking great. Yeah, it's fucking saying a back a miserable. Absolutely not. Well, let me ask you this last thing. I got to have you on again, though. I would love to. Okay, every guest could be as effortless. I'm telling you. I appreciate you. Don my rare is another one just fucking sat down here. We just came into the house shot the shit upstairs came down here turn on the mic shot the shit turned it off walked upstairs. It just was seamless. But I was gonna ask you like this new thing that hopefully it's just a fucking little blip. Actually, it already feels old to talk about it. This new thing

where people will film a comedian at a fucking comedy club. And then you put it up and you have to apologize for a fucking joke. Is that the most insane fucking thing? It's fucking it's it's it's brutal. It is just fucking the big biggest bunch of fucking pussies. Well, you know, I love it's every joke that they've done it. The crowd in the club is laughing. Yeah. And then they go it's sparked outrage. It's like where? Yeah, that tattletailers they're fucking little fucking. Oh, I'm gonna tell you did I said I was saying I go basically they come into our work and filming us at a moment that they think we're doing

something wrong. And then giving it to the boss, which is our audience or the public and going, Hey, do something about this. Look what they did. Yeah. That's like magic. I said magic. If we go into someone's work tomorrow, and the guy smoking pot at fucking lunchtime or he's looking at porn or his computer when he's supposed to do in his fucking pay whatever, doing his fucking spreadsheet and we go and we film like a boss. Look, he was looking at porn. Look, what are you going to do about it? But even then, even then, I don't think that's a fair comparison because trying out new material is is not smoking weed at work.

He's you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. Yeah, some of the best bits come out of doing something edgy. And there is a style. There's shock comedy. There's dark comedy. There's all that type of stuff. And for you to fucking sit there and act like you hired this guy to look at people are here by fucking opinions. Let me I'm sorry. I said it. Imagine if Red Fox and you know, with San Frans on days, he was a filthy comic. I mean, disgusting on stage. Imagine people were filming, were recording him and going, Listen to this, he wouldn't have a show or show it off the air. I know he's talking about eating some girls

asshole, you know, and when no one talked about that in the fucking early 70s, I don't think people care about it would be if he said something about the president, or if he said like this. Like that whole day and cook joke that he was basically letting people know that this edition of Batman isn't as good as the other one. That's the way I looked at it. That's what I got out. Yeah, he just said it's a shitty movie. Yeah, and then people get out. Yeah, he's advocating. He isn't. He isn't such a just I just stay out of the clubs. You know, you know, the wrestling the WWE had to apologize. I saw what because they made a joke about

what? It was such a fucking great joke. This manager is is talking shit to the crowd about, you know, the wrestler that he's managing. And he's going, you know, so and so whatever the guy's name is, he goes, he's like Kobe Bryant in a Colorado hotel room unstoppable, right? It was and he delivered it. It's funny. Yeah. And he not only did he have to apologize, he had to apologize to somebody, a specific person who wasn't Kobe, or the girl, right? I was Mike something or other. I remember, you know, reading and passing, but it's like, it's getting to the point of like, it's sort of like, it's ridiculous. But I look at it like it's kind of scares me because

it seems like if allowed, it's the beginning of like, you're going to like start censoring people. They say in the beginning, don't film the comedians. That's another thing to none of these comics uploaded that shit to try to reach anybody else other than who the fuck they were performing to, you know, absolutely. And you know what? I mean, someone made a good point. My friend was saying, because you know what? I mean, basically what they're doing is they're it's illegal. They're illegally recording you. Right. You have to at most stage, you have to have permission to record somebody. So they're basically doing is is doing is illegal by secretly tape recording us, right? You know,

comedy clubs need to what they have to do is they have to fucking leave everybody's phones and cell phones at the fucking at the bar before they walk in the room. Oh, they're not going to do that. They're not going to do that because they want to turn over the crowd quicker. They don't give a fuck. I know it's too bad. Someone that you consider considers it art should do that. Go look, you leave in your fucking phones and every course, put them here, put them in. But I do notice though, the only people that they ask to apologize are people who have like hit TV shows. You know, that's true. Absolutely. So I think I think I'm safe. I don't know about you. You know, it's VH one classic. It's like a basic cable. It's only

in the NFL network. We're only in 40% of homes. Do you know what I actually think? I think that they weigh that into into consideration those groups where they sit there and they go, okay, how big is Jim Florentine? How big is bill? How big about this guy? Oh, this guy's got like, you know, whatever, like, well, remember when Corolla made fun of like transgender people or whatever he goes, I don't know what the hell they are, whatever his joke was, he did it on his podcast. And they tried to go after him. They go, what are they going to take away his podcast? It's his own podcast. Right. He's got like dot coms, you know, like fucking advertised or whatever it did not get. He doesn't have also any so he didn't know he didn't apologize because they

couldn't do anything. That's perfect. He's got his own network. What does he get? What are they going to do? They try perfect. He didn't say one word. Fuck you. That's perfect. I know. See, that's how I look at it. See, that's my thing. Why, why, why do you want to go to the next level where all of a sudden you have to start apologizing for trying out material? You know, I get this is the deal. If I was sick of doing the road, I would, I would be more apt to want to go that other road. But like, I don't know. I don't know. This is supposed to be about you. I'm sitting here for no, no, no, no, it's about comics. No, I hate it. It's, it's the worst thing that can happen to comedy. It's the worst that people are going to want to

take chances. Well, I just look at it. Look, if you there, there is the style of comedy that those people who get offended are looking for exists out there. Okay, you didn't go to that show. You know, you didn't have to click on it. You didn't have to listen to it. You chose to listen to the fucking thing. And the guy who said it, didn't choose to film it and upload it. Somebody else did. So I don't know. I'm talking in circles here. My mom is 74 years old. She's super religious. She's just watches like touched by an angel all day. She's been the two of my shows in 20 years spent the two of my comedy shows. Right. So I wanted to invite it like six months ago. Mom come to us. She goes, no, I don't like the words that come out of your mouth. You're going to make

me uncomfortable. I go, look, I'm going to be clean tonight. So I was working on a clean set. Right. And you know what she said? She goes, yeah, but I don't know about the other acts on the show. I don't know what they're going to say. So I'm going to stay home. That's how does a 74 year old woman get it? But nobody else does. I don't know what the other racks are going to say. So I'm going to stay home. Right. It makes that choice. She didn't want to go into that situation. But had she gone down there, she knows what she's getting herself into. Exactly. Then she goes, well, I made that choice to go down there. Yeah, even though my son wasn't, but I went to a show. How does she get it? Right? Does that bother you that she's only come out twice? No, no, not at all

because I feel uncomfortable with her in the audience. I said on TV one time, I did George Lopez. Johnny did stand up on it. I said penis in my act and she's like, I can't believe you embarrass the family. You have nieces what they saw that what do you I go, mom, if I start thinking about my fucking 10 year old niece when I'm writing jokes, my career is over. Now how did you with the mom as religious is that we do? Did you rebel against it? Brutal. Yeah, it was brutal. Yeah. Yeah. How bad did she make you dress in like super tight? All the boy, all that stuff and, you know, sign me up for that Catholic schools my whole life, you know, put in them from, oh my god. Oh yeah, from, you know, kindergarten, basically. Now, what point would you were you

deciding that this wasn't the road for you? Was it what the priests were saying or like what? Well, probably after like the third because all my friends from public school and I want to hang out with them. I was hanging out, you know, I just hated it right off the bat and they were like, no, it's a better education. I'm like, how how is it I got a fucking priest teaching me math. He doesn't know fucking math and non is teaching me fucking English. You know, yeah, that's a better education. Right. You know, even in high school, my fucking, so wait, you went all the way through to senior year to senior year. Wow. Yeah. I got thrown out of two schools for being out of control. And what was that? What was that? What was out of control?

Why like they had these they were bragging, you know, they make the announcements in the morning. Oh, you know, whatever, you know, so you have to say a prayer and all the shit. So they said they oh, we just bought these wrestling mats. We spent a lot of money on it for a gym class. So please take care of them. So fucking my next gym class later that day, I fucking caught them up with razor blades. It was like fucking $3,000 worth of wrestling mats. And I cut the fucking stage curtains to why I don't know just because they said take care of them. Yeah, really take care of them. But you know, okay, fine, I'm going to cut them up with razor blades. And how did you get caught? Well, they didn't they didn't know it was me. They knew it was from us from our class because

we were like the last class of the day, like eighth period or whatever. So they knew it was somebody in our class and it was only me and two other fucking derelicts in the class. So they narrowed it down to us three and they had us in the office every day. We know you did it. They'd punch me in the face, smack me, pull my hair, stare at the wall for eight hours. Yeah, and I'm like, okay, fine, I would stare at the wall. I wouldn't admit it. I had a fucking swear in a Bible. My mom took me to our local priest. And she goes, I want you to swear in a Bible. You didn't do this. And I swear in a Bible. Like, no, I didn't do it. Yeah, which is hilarious. If you don't believe in this shit. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'll do that. I'll fucking be putting a whole

stack of whatever book I don't give a shit what put slashes book I'll swear on that too. So did you start partying and that stuff? You started getting into the weed and drinking probably like 14 or 15. I was good in sports like baseball. I was on the freshman team. I was playing on the soft. I played on the varsity team as a freshman. But then like sophomore year, I started getting into frigging. You played varsity as a freshman. Wow. Yeah, I was a lefty pitcher. I was really good. At some point I was a good hit or two. I played first base. But then I just started drinking and getting into smoking pot and cigarettes. My sophomore year. And I was that was it. So did you did your mom at what did she do? My dad was pissed. Did your mom know you were doing any of

that stuff? Not really. Because I had older brothers, they were kind of like, you know, that's why I got in the middle. They'll bring them to concerts at 14. I saw a fucking AC DC with Bond Scott. No, you're a kid. Fuck you. What's at the power age tour? No, it was it was highway to hell. Jesus Christ. I saw him home for Ted Nugent at Madison Square Garden and I saw him AC DC and I forget who else. I think it was Def Leppard maybe with with Bond like two times before he died because my brothers would bring me I was 12 and they were like 18. And like, oh, we want to bring up. So I saw all these shows. So you would go from Catholic school to then going down to one of those goddamn shows at 12. Yeah, partying with your older brothers. Yeah, they would like get me

high. Absolutely. Yeah. Dude, you had a fucking awesome childhood. No, it was great. I mean, I was angry because I was fucking stuck in Catholic school and shit like that. But yeah. But no, it was great. Absolutely. Man, man, all the brothers would bring home my albums like all those black Sabbath and his Ted Nugent and Aerosmith, like, Oh, just fucking great. That's awesome. My younger brothers got that out of me. I was second oldest. So they, you know, I didn't know shit. Like my first album was Mitch Miller sing along with Mitch and the gang. Okay, you shouldn't even know who they are. They literally I know. Yeah, they're like polka. Yeah. Won't you come home, Bill Bailey? Like that type of shit. And then I got Aerosmith's greatest hits was my first foray

into like fucking real music. But my first concert was a docking Judas Priest. Nice. No. Oh, yeah. No, what? Yeah, that's right. I was I thought it was loudness was docking Judas Priest loudness opened up for AC DC on the Who Made Who tour that Japanese heavy metal band is still around. Are they really? Yeah, we were going to have the guitar player play on our show, but he had a can he couldn't get it. Have you gone out to go see any any of bands from like that aren't like huge like the Metallica's the AC DCs that are still playing arenas? Like I'll go out to Vegas every once in a while doing a gig out there and I'll see like slaughters playing with like fucking warrant a couple other guys. Have you gone out to any of those shows? I just saw

Sebastian Bach last night in Nokia. Oh, you did? Yeah. Yeah. How was it? It was great. Yeah, still he's still can sing. He's got a good band behind him and stuff. So yeah, I always go see shows. Now is he going to get together with Skid Row? He wants to. There's one guy in a band that doesn't want to do it. The only other guy I can remember Rob a few so was the drummer. Yeah, he was the drummer. Yeah, Rachel Bolin is the bass. Something or a bow guitar player. So who doesn't want to do it? I think Rachel a bass player. He hates Sebastian so much that he won't do it. And they got offers like 100 grand to do festivals overseas. They could do so. What kind of money does that dude have? Rachel? I don't know. I get he gets to publish it on those

first couple records, you know, youth gone wild. I remember you every time I think that that would be trickling down now the kids are just down like it is sharing sports stadiums and shit like that. I guess he's got money coming in. We were watching me and my buddy Eddie last night every time back because Sebastian filmed it for a TV show last night or something. So every time he played us a skid row song like Rachel can buy another house because he has to pay for that. It goes to him. Anytime Sebastian does anything on TV or puts a DVD out of those songs because Sebastian write those songs. So Rachel did Rachel and Snake wrote those songs. His name is Rachel. Yeah, I know. Why is it Rachel? I don't know Rachel Bolin. I'm not sure from Europe or something.

No, he's Jersey, Jersey white trash like me. Alright, what do we got here? We're an hour and 20 minutes in and it just keeps getting more interesting. We got to do a part two at some point when I'm in LA. Yeah, when are you going to come out? I come back out in October. I'll be back out. I was thinking the last time I think I saw you in LA I ran into you at the forum for that AC DC concert. Remember? One of the greatest shows I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, we caught it early and Brian's fucking voice sounded great. Fucking killer. Alright, well, let's wrap it up here. Jim Florentine, your website is Jimflorentine.com on Twitter Mr. Jim Florentine and my podcast Comedy Metal Midsuits on iTunes and when can we see the next editions of

a new season that Metal Show starts August 11th on VH1 classic one classic. Yeah. Okay, August 11th is coming up. Alright, Jim, thank you so much for coming by the podcast. Thanks, Bill. Alright, amazon.com. You guys know the deal. If you're going to buy something on Amazon, not saying you gotta go to billbird.com, click on the podcast page and click on the banner ad on the right hand side, the Amazon banner ad on the right hand side, you go to Amazon, go ahead and buy something doesn't cost you any extra money. They kick me a percentage 10% of that I give to the wounded warriors project. You help support my podcast and the troops who made an unbelievable sacrifice for us. Alright, and gameplay.com. Wouldn't you love to have 8,000

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