Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 8-6-18

Episode Date: August 7, 2018

Bill rambles about the flight back to Los Angeles, RnR wrap-up, and strict parents.

Hey what's going on, it's Bill Byrne, it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday! August 6th, 2018, what's going on? How are you? How are you doing? I am back. I am back in Los Angeles. You know, I talk about Los Angeles now, everywhere else I go is just as hot as here, but it's not as nice. Oh, everybody walking around sweating their balls off, you know, you might as well be out here in Hollywood with all the real people, the forward thinking progressive people, how we push the needle, we change the needle, we drive the sled, whatever the fuck, whatever the fuck we're always saying about ourselves. And you won't find anybody out here more phony than me, okay? I'm telling you that right

now. You're going to meet me and you can be like, wow, that guy is so down to earth and I want you to know it is all an act, okay? You're not on my level. Sorry. Anyways, I just got back from, I did Rochester, New York, I believe that's the first time I did a gig out there, did it with Dean Delray, Dean Delray murdering, you know, stealing the spotlight, everybody fucking, you know, flipping out about him, you know, he's so interesting with his glasses in his tattoos. And I just come out right fucking old milk toast Freddie, right? Nobody cares. No, I had a great time. I had a great time with that crowd. What a beautiful fucking goddamn town. What a gorgeous, why can't I just say it was a beautiful town?

What a beautiful F and G D town. I have got to stop cursing around my kid. I have to, I have to do that. I'm starting to do it with adults where I just say like, yeah, the F and guy's an A hole. And then I just go, sorry, I got a kid. I need to practice. But is that any better? Because then my kid's going to be walking around like, yeah, he's an F and A hole, right? It's people that's still going to be like, I don't know, probably would still be adorable because I have to tell you, I just came home. And it was her nap time, so I was expecting her to be asleep, but it was five minutes into her nap time. But we have her on a schedule. And so I figured for sure she'd be taking a nap and I came home and she wasn't.

I was like tiptoeing in the house and I just heard these little feet come running out. It is the best. It's the best thing ever. One of the few things in life that is not overhyped having a kid is the greatest thing ever. So anyways, Rochester, New York, gorgeous, right? So I get there. And first thing I see is a giant brick factory, giant factory smokestacks, the whole thing. There's a little bit of steam coming out of one of them. Well, you know, we're flying in and I'm looking down. And I, you know, I'm doing all this. I have a private pilots license. So I'm looking at the clouds trying to guess what's going on here. There's a bunch of like, you know, patches of clouds, little poof here, little poof there, little poof. So what does that tell me?

That tells me that there's, there's, there's a lot of uneven air there that we're going to have a little turbulence. Okay. Cause there's, there's the air is being pushed up in certain areas. It's not just straight across, but straight across and it was even, and they weren't like all big and puffy. You'd think, okay, that's kind of some smooth fucking air there. Right? I don't know if I'm right. Ground school was a long time ago and I fly out here in LA and there's really no weather. Let's you go along the coasts every once in a while. So I look down and I see this factory. And like I said, it's, it looks like an old school thing. They, they, they, they, they brew in some beer. Are they making some steel? What, what are they doing there? And I looked down and there's

this giant empty parking lot. Couldn't see any cars. And so I was like, you know, they'll just turn that into lofts. Everything just gets turned into a place to live. You know, a place where we made something or was a place to go do something. They'll just take it and it'll turn into lofts. And it's just like, we kept a lot of the character of this place where we used to make things. So would you like to move into this luxury apartment with your Gucci bags, even though you're only making 50 grand a fucking year, whatever the, whatever the fuck it is, people, please don't be that person, everybody. Because old freckles had, I got a bad, I got a bad feeling man. It's like things are not adding up out there. Everybody is walking around with these

Kardashian level outfits or a lot of people are. And the amount of fucking 20 somethings I see driving around in BMWs. It's like this. Everybody have a fucking rich dad out there. You're driving around in a BMW. Okay. With your fucking Gucci glasses and all of this shit. And then this is the thing. Nobody's at work. This traffic 24 fucking seven. I looked at a census. The population really isn't least the legal population isn't really growing in this country. And I think if you're an illegal, I don't think you're driving around in a fucking BMW, attracting all kinds of attention to yourself. So unless everybody's a fucking Uber driver. But then where are they driving all those people during the day?

They're all late for work. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. It just, it just, this happens. This happens like every fucking once every 10 years. You know, first time I saw it was in the 80s. Everybody was doing blow all the yuppies. Everybody was fucking walking around with the Rolex and all of this fucking shit. And then right there friend over. All of a sudden you're fucking you had nothing left in your nose like you've been boxing for 20 years. Right. Skinny ties are out. See, Cavarici jeans are in. You're a fucking cokehead. You fucked up your whole life and they repossessed your BMW. Then in the 90s, right? It was a little rough time there, a little rough time there. And then, you know, Bill Clinton came in.

According to the Democrats, he turns it all around. He saved it. There was a zero fucking, you know, we had no debt. He got us out of debt. You know, of course, you know, he used a couple of vaginas as a humidor, but you know, everybody's going to have their faults. What was he supposed to do? Balance the budget, play the saxophone and not fuck around on his wife? I mean, something's got to give. And I'm telling you that right now is a sober fucking person who has not drank since June. Something has got to give. You know, maybe you go out, you know, maybe you don't give into the booze. Okay. Maybe you don't bang an intern. All right. But if you lay off the ice cream and you don't watch internet porn and you're

going to paint yourself into a corner and next thing you know, you're driving down the street talking to yourself, going, am I really going to go out here and, and, and I guess do a thrill kill? Is that what I'm going to do? Am I going to kill a hitchhiker right now? To just somehow inject some sort of a rush into my life, right? Sorry. Anyways, I'm coming off the wagon tomorrow for one day, for one day only. Me and Joda Rose. Oh, I'll tell you right now, if our livers could talk, they would say let me up. Throw in the towel. Get off of me. I don't know what they would say, but it would, it would be, they would give us a fucking a thrashing if they could speak. Anyways, that sounds like a fucking book. If your organs could speak, right? And you just

stretch it out over like, you know, how many organs do you have? Like 10, you know, one day is your liver. Next day is your kidneys. You know, and then one day it's your dick. What would your dick say to you? You know, nothing smart. You know, your dick's never going to be like, why did we fuck that girl? You know, your fucking, your brain says that. Your dick never says that. Why, I mean, she was there. Anyways, I'll try, pancreas is just would be like the fucking just the grizzled vet, you know, union toll booth worker just sitting there with a cigarette dangling out of his fucking mouth doesn't give a shit, right? It's getting close to retirement. I think your kidneys would be the most progressive and annoying. He could just drink some more water. Sorry. Anyways, so then after

what is it after Rochester, I then drove down beautiful, beautiful drive from Rochester, all the way down into Western Pennsylvania, and then down into Youngstown, which I'd never gone to. And I always said Youngstown was like three hours away from Ohio. It's like an hour and a half. I thought Akron was way down there too. I thought they were way down the fucking east side, down near Pittsburgh and shit, but they're not. They're right there. So I went got to go to famous Youngstown. Didn't get to see shit. I came in. I saw that there was some sort of Italian feast festival going on in the streets, which I would have loved to partake in, but I'm on my diet. Okay, I'm getting my revenge body, everybody. No, I'm sticking to my diet here. I'm actually

doing really well with it. Till this morning, I couldn't find a place in the airport that had oatmeal. So I just I got some bacon and eggs with hash browns and toast. But every other every other meal I ate, I ate the way I was supposed to be eating. So whatever, that was my one fuck up. And you don't have a cheat day, you have a cheat meal. So that was a cheat fucking meal. I got on the plane. And the and the fucking stewardess was like, you know, I always have my headphones on, right? And so she's got to wave in front of me. And I go, Yes. And she goes, What would you like to drink? I said water with ice. I go, That's all I want. That's all I want. I'm good. All right. And five seconds later, she's waving at me again. Would you like the breakfast? I almost got mad at

her. Like how the fuck did she know that that's what I meant for the whole flight? So I was like, No, no, I'm good. I'm good. I'll just have the fucking water. You don't want anything? Did I say I wanted something? I didn't say that. But I thought it and she I could tell she was good at reading people and she sensed it. And she's like, This guy's a douche. And you know what's funny was I was still wearing my suit and tie that I had worn at the rough and rowdy taping the night before because I just didn't feel like packing the suit. And every once in a while, if you have a backpack and a little wheelie carry on, if you also have the garment bag, there'll be somebody like the Dudley do right, you know, like the cop in the middle of nowhere that has no excitement.

So they got to like fucking, you know, see how far away from the curb you parked so they can give you a ticket. Someone will say, I'm sorry, sir, you have three items. And then she puts me okay, in the position to say, Oh, excuse me, ma'am, I'm flying first class. I'm allowed to break the rules. Okay, I have, I have, I go to your sky lounge. Do you understand? Do you have any idea what the fuck my dad does? She puts me in that position or he, but I never say that. But I definitely think it. And that's what makes me down to earth is I don't say the things that I think. So then the world has no idea how fucking arrogant I am. See that that's how that works. But you got to have a little bit of arrogance in life.

If you don't, then no one's ever going to make a statue of you. That's how it works. Um, so anyway, so we're all waiting the lineup, and they're doing the usual thing. Anybody active military duty, anybody with kids, anybody with less than four limbs, you can board the plane now and all this shit. Nobody budgets. I'm like, Oh, great, here comes group one. And all of a sudden this fucking dude, right? Bald, he's got the horseshoe, you know, buzzed down, but he didn't shave the rest of it walks by perfectly fine. No camouflage. No fucking limbs missing. No kids. You know, can see he's not deaf. He just walks by all of us. He goes, Hey, how you doing the guy go there? What's up? And he just fucking beeps his thing and gets on the fucking plane. It's like,

Who the fuck was that? Was that the pilot? Is he going to put on his little fucking outfit once he gets down the jetway there? I don't know. Anyways, you wouldn't know I had a great weekend. So I get on the goddamn plane. And I'm like, you know, I didn't get a lot of sleep because the rough and rowdy event was fucking unbelievable. I am going to talk to you about that. All right. But it's going to be a great story here. So I'm sort of teasing that. So you continue. Oh, wait, you could fast forward through all of this. I'm really into me TV and old movies right now. I just go through these phases and I was watching this. The postman always rings twice, which I remember from the 80s. And I thought it was an original Brian DePalma film. I didn't know

he remade it. But it kind of seems like he took the name of the movie and then he like switched it up. He did the Jimmy Page. You know what I mean? Like if Robert Plant just switched the lyrics, they wouldn't have a fucking problem because for the a lot of those songs that Jimmy got in trouble for, you know, he changed the arrangement enough that if Robert just switched up the lyrics a little bit, I believe it when he says that he that he wouldn't have gotten trouble or sued that many fucking times. So anyways, plowing ahead, I'm watching this thing and just some of the shit that they say to women in these things. This guy was in love with this woman and they were trying to plot killing her husband. And at some point, they I don't know, they they came up with the

idea and they thought it was a good idea and they could get away with it and they were excited. And he just grabs both their arms and he goes now kiss me before I sock you. And that was considered amusing back then because guys did not express love. But there were guys beating women. Were there guys beating women? But when did beating women become a fad? Like when did that first happen? I know grunge was in the early 90s. I'll have to look that up. And I'm going to leave that open ended to because somebody's going to post that and then somebody's going to be like, you know, is Bill Burr really that? Anyways, and then I was watching 77 Sunset Strip, my favorite fucking show on TV. And I'm into the first season where they have like the

the matinee idol looking guy and Ephraim Zimbalist juniors is he's like not even in in episodes. And what somebody was saying was he was basically the Steve Urkel of 77 Sunset Strip. They got him in there and then he just kept getting more and more and more lines and he just fucking took over. And then they phased everybody else out. So anyways, the dreamboat guy, they're the lead of the show. He's he meets this woman. She goes, I'm convinced my husband's trying to kill me. He's having an affair with his secretary. You know, if the brake lines were cut on my car, he almost accidentally hit me with his boat. And I think he tried to poison me when he made me a drink. And what's funny is this woman is gorgeous. And this guy, he's got to be 40 years older than

her. And what you amazed me that this guy was already going to trade her in, you know, because that's what those guys do. They just sort of collect them like cars. So not saying there's anything wrong with that. You know, there's nothing wrong with objectifying a woman if it's that obvious. You know what I mean? Because she's what's what's the material I guess gold dig in you. You know, it's like, I know you're here for this stuff. And you know, I'm here. So you look good on my arm and I can, you know, fuck something that doesn't even remotely look the way I do naked. It's an arrangement. But what happens because there's no love there, somebody always ends up pulling the plug first, and then it gets fucking ugly. So anyway, she goes,

this guy's trying to kill me. She goes, I'm convinced he's having, you know, he's having an affair with his secretary. So he goes down over to the office to investigate, right? And he comes walking in and you know, he's about ready to meet a woman because the saxophone starts playing, which was what they always did back there, right? They just play this song, this beautiful Asian woman comes walking out and they just it's his secretary. She comes out and the saxophone does that, right? He's always hitting on him and shit. And this this is his opening line to her. He goes, yes, he goes, they told me your boss imported Oriental art, I have to agree. That's what he said. The sad thing is, is that same shit is still set in a Hooters every fucking night by a by a man of

a certain age. And then he grabbed her and said, now kiss me before I sock you. You know, it's funny. That's one of the first things I said to Nia when I first came home. You know, it's just some some lines are too good. You just you just have to repeat them. So anyway, let's get into rough and rowdy. Number four from Youngstown. Unbelievable night. I don't think I'm telling you I can't even believe I get paid to do that shit. It's just like it's so much fucking fun. And I don't know. It's just you just hanging out watching people beat the shit out of each other. What's not to like? Like I just I don't know. You just sit there watching the fights, even the ones that are bad, they hilarious. First of all, the fight card started off.

It had two brothers like blood brothers fighting each other. And in their promo videos, one was saying that my mother never loved me. You know, and I'm like, oh, Jesus, this guy's the victim of the family. And then his brother gets on and confirms it goes. Yeah, she fucking hates him. You know, always hated him. Right. All he does is sit around and play video games. And I'm in the National Guard and I'm out here crushing it. So the brother when his in his, you know, little what do you call it? Ric Flair sort of promo video, he said that the military overrated their bunch of this soft fucking hilarious, trashing his brother. And then they went out there and they beat the shit out of each other. And I had to root for the older brother.

Because I this is unwritten rule. I don't know if it's something somebody told me or I just I just just I thought you can never let your younger brother beat you up. You just cannot you cannot ever let that happen. You have to be in the mindset of, you know, you're going to have to murder me. And I know you don't want to go to jail. That's where you have to be mentally. You just can't have it cannot fucking let that happen. And I sat there and I watched it happen on pay per view. And I got to tell you, as an older brother, it made me sick. Great fight, though. A couple of Youngstown firemen, Jesus Christ, one went in there and just fucking knocked this guy out to the it was the first time I saw a guy really get knocked out

where he went to get back up again and went back down again. First of all, he he when he first went down, he was doing that thing. You know, Bill Gates tried to do what's that thing that the guy from the Carolina Panthers would do after a touchdown. It was a really easy sort of move, which is why white people have ruined it so quickly. You sort of bring your arms out to the side. Dapping, is that what they call it? Yeah, he looked like he was doing that the way Bill Gates did where he didn't have his elbow bent. He just draped it across his eyes like the sun was beaming down there. He was laying there like that. And and then he rolled over and he went to get up and he went fucking back down again. And it was yeah, that happened. And then what else? What

were some of the other highlights? Oh, pig versus punk, the cop fight in the skateboarder, the skateboarder proved he was a punk. He didn't show up. So at the last second, they got a bouncer. So you got a cop and you got a bouncer. Who's kidding? Who a bouncer is just a cop that never went pro, right? So it's a lot of overlap. So they fucking get it in the ring. And oh my, the cop, first of all, I didn't realize he had lost his job, because he did a drive along or ride along, whatever the fuck you call it. And somehow the mayor got wind of it. He didn't fucking like it. So they fired the guy. And I got to tell you, Bart Stuhl Sports paid two years of the guy's salary. And anyways, he went in there and Jesus Christ. And this was a, he fought a bounce. Now granted,

the guy didn't fucking have any time to prepare. And, and it looked like it. Holy shit. This guy was fast, strong, knew what the fuck he was doing, had decent footwork. I mean, you figure, you know, their cops, they did teach him some of that MMA shit, little stand up, little how to choke a guy out or whatever. And he just, he beat the shit out of this fucking guy. But I got to tell you, the bouncer could take a punch, man, he fucking ate all of them until the last one. And then that was kind of it. And then the cop and the cop got off off out of the ring and everyone's going like, re in state, re in state, like give him his fucking job back. And then he proceeded in the post interview, I think to ruin any chance of ever getting a job as a cop anywhere.

They said to him, they go, Hey, so are you upset? You know, did you get the mayor, you know, stepped in and said your police chief, either it's you or him, are you upset with him? Now, what he should have said was like, Listen, there's a lot of variables involved. I have respect for the office of the mayor and the mayor himself. He was, he did what he felt was best. And I'm not going to argue with that. I'm just happy to have the opportunity to come down here and give the people of Youngstown some entertainment. That's what he should have said. But he didn't. Like, are you upset with the mayor? He's just like, I don't give a shit. Yeah, I was fucking mad. I fucking I brought that fucking anger in there. Just like, all right. That's a wrap on the criminal

justice. Well, who knows? I will just say the tape is out there. So if anybody ever like were to do some sort of, I don't know, internet search on them. But I think they kind of just check to see, you know, if you were watching any porn, you know, isn't that kind of where they go? I have no idea. And then the end, the highlight, the the headlining match gay Pat versus the two time convicted felon homophobe. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention Pat McAfee, former punter of the county in Indianapolis Colts, dude, that guy absolutely crushed it as he would. He was the emcee for all the major day, like four or five major fights. And he would go into the ring and do the announcements. And he was fucking hilarious, hilarious. This one guy went in his name, just

we'll just say his name was Edward Robinson, the second. And he was like standing in the red corner in the sloppy gray shorts. And he goes, this is his whole fucking thing. We'd like make fun of you. And then he says the guy's name. He says like, he says Edward Robinson, the second, the second. There was more than one. I'm butchering his delivery. But he did just the way he fucking ripped apart the fact that this guy went by the second, the fact that he repeated the second again, and then tagged it with there was more than one, just so intelligently and so succinctly fucking basically says what everybody thinks when they hear the second. It's like, I don't who gives a fuck? Why you acting like you Henry the eighth, you know, like you're some fucking king, you're

just some fucking jackass, nobody gives a fuck. And they did that too with the felon. He is a two time two time convicted. He was fucking unbelievable. Unfucking believable. So anyways, gay pat goes in there. And I'm not going to lie to you, everybody was nervous because it was you know, it was this guy, you know, he's saying all this fucking homophobic shit. I know he was also playing a role. He was also helping, you know, sell the fight and everything. But like, nobody wanted to see that, you know, and I and I was really happy that the whole crowd was on Pat's side. They would chant in his name gay pat gay pat, right? And oh my god, I almost forgot fucking raccoon boy. This guy went by raccoon boy, he would wear a fucking raccoon hat like Davey fucking Crockett.

And for whatever reason, he came down the aisle in a trash can. One of those recycled fucking trash cans, he was in there peeking out like a fucking raccoon and they wheeled them down while they did his intro. And then he tried to get his big body out of there with boxing gloves on. And it was some of the best comedy I've seen in a while. He was very upset that they didn't let him wear his his leather vest, which I thought in a very subtle way was him giving support to gay pat because it was very al Pacino cruising. It didn't look like a biker vest. I guess when you're shirtless, you know, he looked like a fat Freddie Mercury. You know, if like if Freddie lived and continued to eat steak bombs or started, I should say he was always in good shape, right?

So anyways, and he went in there and he got he got exterminated. There was another one that these two fat guys fight. And one of the fat guys was beating the shit out of the other guy who went by the Dale show and his name was not Dale. And he was getting the shit kicked shit kicked out of him. And then the other dude had to stop because he was so fat that the headgear was choking him. And what killed me was it was like sort of look like it was underneath the bottom of his jaw. But who am I to say that it wasn't was probably the combination of the strap on the jaw and the eight pounds of blubber around the guy's neck. And there was a lot of fucking wild eyed people getting pumped up and then wasting their energy trying to turn fear

into courage. You know, like there was one guy he came out and he's just swinging wildly and he got a couple of punches in and then like his headgear got messed up. So they had to, you know, have a quick stoppage. And as they were fixing it, he was going like, yeah, like flipping out. Like, whoa, this guy's fucking crazy. And then he I don't think he landed another punch for the for the rest of the fight. I think he let out all of that fucking energy and that was over. So anyways, this is all coming from a guy who would get the shit kicked out of him by any of these people. Okay. So anyways, gay pat comes in. And he was just totally fucking calm, went in there. And then I saw the convict go in. I'm like, he's not that big. He's only 58 180. So he's a little

stocky, but he's not that tall. And gay pat is 64, a buck 80. So they weighed the same. So everybody knew that the convict was going to bull rush him and everything. And I got to tell you, gay pat fought a filthy fight. Mayweather would have been envious with the amount of elbows this guy threw forearms to the face. He was leaning on him. He used his height. He had a tremendous fucking strategy. His corner was great. They trained him. And he came out with the victory. And he got some good shots in there too. It was, it was great. It was one of the, it was such a fucking relief that he won. Because yeah, I was getting nervous that if he just came in and took an overhand right, it was knocked out really bad. And the

crowd was actually against him like that could have got really ugly. So kind of dancing between the raindrops on that one. But I want to thank everybody at Barstool Sports for letting me do that. I literally, when I saw the arena and just, I just started smiling, like I can't believe, you know, I go to a zillion sporting events. I've always wanted to be in the broadcast booth. Now, I know this is, you know, not at the professional level, but neither am I. So the next one is going to be in Kentucky outside this one, like the thriller in Manila. It's going to be outside. This is going to be at a baseball stadium. I believe it's October 5th in Kentucky. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm going to be able to make that one because I

believe I have gigs. I think I'm in Connecticut and Boston that weekend. But I'm definitely going to rent it. Okay, you get it for 15 bucks a few days, right up until the day of the fight, day of the fight, it's fucking 1995. I'm telling you, tremendous night of entertainment. So anyways, all right. So now that I've done that, I'm going to read a little bit of advertising here, and then we're going to talk Red Sox Yankees. And New York fans, hang in there. Okay, don't think I'm going to talk about this the way ESPN did. All right, I am not in that business. All right, frame bridge everybody. If you've been listening to this show, you've heard me talk about frame bridge. They make it super easy and affordable to frame your favorite things from art prints and

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lucky we were going to split with them you know and it was going to be you know I don't know what happened it was just one of those things we were hot they were not and they should have won certainly the last game the last two games they should have won they blew leads and they fucking had a meltdown in the last one so the Red Sox are now nine and a half games up so what does that mean to people in sports radio and on ESPN and all that shit you know what it means to them the race is over you know why it's over because we're up nine and a half games there's 48 fucking games left probably even more I just I just counted the games in august and in september what in the fuck I'm sitting there one of these people talking about then it's like oh yeah that's

right they're in the job of over hyping shit hype it up to the fucking god damn moon and if it comes in you look like a genius and if it doesn't come in then you got to be like what happened to the Red Sox what happened to this guy what happened what the fuck happened they start asking acting like the teams that they hype said they were going to do what the fuck they said and I understand it now because they are 24 hour sports network so what the fuck are you going to do during these 16 hours a day when there's no fucking games going on what are you going to do you just got to you got to go big you got to say crazy shit so guys like me lose their fucking mind dude the fucking Red Sox were up by like 16 or 18 games in august in 1978

the Yankees came to town there was the Boston massacre we had the one game playoff and then it was over the fucking the the the Mets were like nine million games out they came back in 1969 I don't have time to look all this this fucking happens almost like dude the Red Sox were up by like 12 13 games like like four five years ago 2012 and we shit the bed didn't even make the fucking playoffs we had valentine as a manager then the next year we won the world series so I don't even know what they're talking about here that this is far from over we have six games left alone with the Yankees we got two series I believe with the Cleveland Indians everybody's

sleeping on Terry Francona and the Cleveland Indians I still think Terry's the best manager in baseball he you know and what about the Houston Astros they're no slouches either and how about the fact that despite the fact the Yankees are nine and a half games out there's still six games up in the wild card so according to what I was watching that dude Mike box seat Mike from the old Mike and Mike show now he's on a different show he was saying that he according to him it's essentially fucking over despite the fact that the Red Sox have blown leads historically 18 12 games we thought we fucked this this franchise alone is fucked it up twice in my life that I remember I don't have time to look up the other ones okay and then okay so now

using that logic I don't mean to just put it on him because everybody was saying it all right using just that fucking logic the Yankees being up six games in the wild card they only need to be up six games for another two weeks and then the wild card is over is that how the math works that's another thing too all the Yankees got to do is just keep playing the way they've been playing all year and they're going to win the wild card okay which means then we all go to the playoffs we're all zero and zero so you know what happened this weekend a whole bunch of nothing because the greedy MLB wants a wild card they want more people in the playoffs so they make more fucking money because you know you can't make enough fucking money in defense of major league

baseball the Federal Reserve is a private corporation that prints the money for this country so they keep us all running on the wheel even those guys with their mistresses and their yachts and their masquerade parties and all that to the point they have to keep adding rounds of baseball see like right now as a Red Sox man I would be excited that we swept the Yankees if there wasn't a fucking wild card that just negates the whole thing so what is all that that meant was maybe if we meet the Red uh the Yankees maybe 50 50 if we meet the Yankees in the playoffs if we continue to win the way we do the first two games of the series will be played at Fenway that's all that meant okay so everybody just stand down and fucking relax dude I got I got a bet with my agent and

Paul Verzi I bet him 50 bucks each I've been doing the last two seasons we bet the the Red Sox Yankee series you know whoever wins you know the the regular season series right and then if we go to the playoffs I think it'll bump up to 100 bucks a game each right keeps it fun it got me back into baseball and I am fucking loving baseball now right um those two guys they had they had their fucking head in the oven it was hilarious fucking hilarious it's just like you guys are Yankee we've been up 18 games and you guys and you came back what the fuck is wrong with you Jesus Christ just packing it in it made me maybe actually question both of them as human beings I really hope they hear this you know Verzi right now you can't rob a bank with that guy the second anybody

goes like if Rick Flare walked by and went whoo you know he would think the cops were coming and he would just pack in and he would think he would think it was over now I got to be thinking my agent you know when a promoter pushes back a little bit he's not getting me the best deal um anyway so there's plenty of time left I am really looking forward to uh when the Red Sox have a uh the Indians and then we also play the Astros or the two that I'm paying attention to I would pay the Astros on September 7th 8th and 9th and I'm hoping Justin Verlander is pitching because I want to see how we do against their best um and then we got some you know yeah we got two we got one series in August I don't have internet access here for some

fucking reason but in September we got the Indians on the 21st 22nd 23rd and then I believe we close out September I always think that don't they play for like the first three four games in October but we have the Yankees 28 29 30 if not October 1st maybe my cell phone will work here um like how funny is that with you have 48 games left you're up nine and a half games on this one team that you're you're still gonna play six more times and everybody's going yeah yeah man it's it's fucking over I'll tell you right now that's why most people's dreams don't come true you know not because of the the the patriarchal fucking structure whatever the fuck people are saying nowadays it's because you quit all right and I'm not saying that things are aren't aren't unfair

out there but like nobody gives a fuck nobody everybody's too busy trying to keep their shit afloat to have time to give a shit about you and your fucking dream all right so why don't you grow the fuck up I don't know I'm just trying to fill time right here people I don't mean to fucking come down on you man what's the next October no games scheduled wow look at that no games in October I can't remember the last time they finished the regular season in September that's kind of cool they're playing the world series in like November now I guess they got to get ready for all the playoffs all the rounds of the playoffs playoffs um anyways all right let's read some uh so anyways it was great to see them win all those fucking games it's nice to have that

kind of a lead but I am by no means thinking that this this is over by any stretch of the means I will think that it's over when uh we're up nine and a half games with eight games left and the Yankees are out of the wild card too that's when it's over other than that it's it's it's game on there all right frame bridge everybody if you've been listening to this show oh wait what the fuck am I doing I'm reading the goddamn advertising all right podcast comment hey Bill on your latest episode oh Jesus Christ I really feel like I'm gonna get shit here you're you said you don't appeal to women but just want to let you know you have a yeah yeah okay that creeped me out um all right just for the record I'm 50 years old

that was from a 23 year old just what if I fucking sat across the table from a 23 year old I'd give her a rattle um who's your little woogie boogie why we hated why we hate other redheads Jesus Christ hey what's up Billy no glutes I was listening to an old podcast when you were talking about the paper planes music video and that a group of redheads made you feel weird yeah it was weird to see because you never you never see us you never see just a giant group of redheads you know we're like the spice in the stew you know what I mean we're not we're not the beef in the stew right I can say that I totally agree with you on that part but I would actually go a little

bit further with it of course you would say and say that I hate or despise other redheads oh this is a self-hating redhead I didn't say I was a self-hating redhead oh Jesus here's my reason though they make me look bad simple I'm a normal guy kind of tall try to hit the gym often enough so I have what you once called a standing six pack but most of the fucking redheads are a fucking disgrace just out of shape dorky unathletic unfunny losers with no charm don't get me wrong there are exceptions but not many anyway go fuck yourself and bring your balding redheaded ass to Iceland you cunt I think with any group that gets picked on you're hypersensitive in a negative way to the way that people around you are behaving

because I know it's I've seen the big pasty freckled shapeless arms that for some reason they're wearing like a tank top I definitely agree with you I do feel not not necessarily with women I do feel with guys there's a redheaded male there's a certain level of shape you have to stay in because you're already going to get picked on so I and I do understand some of that but I am not a I'm not self-hating I don't hate the way I look I actually think I'm a good looking guy I do make fun of myself but like I don't know I don't get like I'd never been anything else so I don't know what the fuck you know that would be like but uh I do feel bad for redheaded kids now because of you know that South Park episode like the level of shit that that probably started

you know I can't I can't play can I play and I can't play them I'm too big of a fan I would say whatever that kick of ginger day came around like I'm so glad I can't tell if I'm glad that that wasn't around when I was a kid or I'm kind of jealous because at least you knew a day to fake sick on you know as a redhead like whereas when I was coming up there it kind of seemed like that was more of a week rather than a day but whatever you know what doesn't kill you makes me makes you stronger uh all right Tom Cruise helicopter um okay hey there Billy Bald the Wise uh Billy Bald the Wise I always feel like this I should be figuring out what the fuck that means Bald the Wise the Wise is that's another English word kind of

Billy Bald the Wise is that like a character I don't know anyways just wanted to hear your thoughts on the new Mission Impossible film I have to see it I haven't seen it yet I'm seeing three movies this week I'm seeing the Mr. Rogers movie I'm seeing eighth grade and I'm seeing uh Mission Impossible all right so I'm seeing something from my childhood I'm seeing how millennials deal with being in the eighth grade and then I'm just watching a big summer blockbuster so I feel like I'm I got a nice fucking you know Schmorgersborg of what the fuck's going on out there all right just want to hear your thoughts on the new Mission Impossible and how Tom Cruise is notorious for doing his own stunts do people understand what the word notorious means that

that's like uh that's basically known usually for a bad thing um I'd say he's famous for doing his own stunts I feel like a lot of people don't know what infamous and notorious means uh anyways I read he learned how to fly a helicopter in about three months for the film as a pilot yourself that seems like a short amount of time for someone to do the action sequence and stunt work that was displayed check out the link below uh thanks and go fuck yourself well I think there's uh there there there is a lot of this look they're trying to sell a movie so whatever he did they're gonna they're gonna shrink it down um but I don't care how long or how short um the amount of time he did what he did took an unbelievable amount of fucking balls and uh I was talking to some

director he goes I can tell you without a doubt they definitely shot that shit on the last day meaning if he killed himself that they they could easily put a stuntman in there and they would still have a movie I don't know um I I've just only seen the movie clip and but there is no fucking way ever in my piloting career would I ever do anything like that ever that's all I can fucking tell you no fucking way um I like to live you know that's my shit and uh I don't have problem with stuntmen I really don't you know I don't want to see them act and they don't want to see me jump in front of a fucking moving car and I I stay out of their lane I like how I'm acting like I'm at Tom Cruise's level I just like that shit where he jumped from one building to another

and they kept it in the film and he like broke his foot or something like that uh yeah that's like like Jackie Chan does shit like that and then Tom takes it to the next level where he's like was he as far as I can tell you essentially just knows the helicopter over and just was flying straight down at the earth while spinning I believe added that to it uh which I really believe is hard enough to do in a fucking airplane forget about on a helicopter like I don't understand I don't know how that works but uh you know hats off to that guy that guy is and he can also fly like a like a fucking jet like a g5 like just get in the thing and fly to England like I believe he's that level of a pilot I would tell you though I would definitely rather fly with

John Travolta because it seems like you know he dresses up like the captain and he just you know straight level it just sort of flies where I feel like Tom Cruise be like oh shit look at that and he would just do a fucking barrel roll just to scare you so he can laugh at you I remember him a long time ago telling a story on fucking Letterman where they they they were up front and they thought it was funny and they depressurized the cabin and they made the guy in the back pass out they didn't like 100% but they somehow made the the oxygen I don't know the mixture of it I don't know if there was too much oxygen so he fucking overloaded on it got lightheaded and passed out uh I don't know but I'll remember he was crying laughing when he said it and I was like yeah that guy's fucking

guys nuts but I'm definitely going to see the movie and I'm a huge Tom Cruise fan I and I didn't you know he's one of those guys I didn't realize how big a fan I was until one day they listed all these movies and I realized I saw like 80% of them um that's kind of like when you go to somebody drags you to a concierge like I don't want to I mean I know they are I mean I'm a radio fan of them and then you get there and you're like oh fuck they sing this song too oh my god you know you come home you're downloading all their music that's what Tom Cruise is like well I can't wait to see the movie uh it's perfect it's got Tom Cruise it's got helicopters and they shot a lot of it in Paris I mean I'm in it's over um anyways lady asking for advice

hey Billy no buns I'm loving this you motivate me I'm going to the gym right after this and I'm doing some squats I'm a 23 year old woman oh by the way I I cannot I I got one of those little fucking you know you know those little uh foam rollers I already had one of those but I've been using that religiously and then I got one of those little balls that you can just roll out your fucking legs your glutes your back the whole fucking thing when you're on the road if you're an old person like me it is a game changer game changer anyways I'm a 23 year old woman from London and I love your podcast oh thank you I'm crushing it with the 23 year old ladies this week you always say you want to hear from more of us ladies I do

because it gets too one-sided so here I am I would love your advice on my current situation my parents were quite strict when I was growing up so I never I have never been on a date before yeah I would say that goes a little beyond quite strict I would say suffocating I still live at home I'm studying for my masters they are less strict now as my brother is now married and they are now more comfortable with me dating well what the fuck is their problem I do that's that's like sad you should you know I'm not saying go out and fucking you know get gangbanged here but you know go out and you know go on a date experience finding love losing it and fucking that weird thing when you finally erased that number out of their phone I mean I

can't I know your phone I can't believe you missed all that anyways I'm studying part-time and I am working for the rest of the time how do I go about meeting new people the people I work with are all in their mid 40s and don't really socialize outside of work any advice would be appreciated all right number one don't fuck any of those 40 year olds okay you work with them and they're old don't do it okay god knows where the fuck those old dicks have been stay away from them all right you like a fucking one of those you know you know those those nerds by the star wars action figures and it's the big thing if the box has never been opened your box has never been opened all right it's worth a lot of money there um and also you're asking me how to meet

people when I've been out of the dating scene for like 15 years I'm 50 years old and at no point in my life was I still living at home studying for my master's while having a job I love that you felt enough about me that you've thought at some point in my life I attained that level of success and was that pressed for time um how do I go about meeting new people don't you guys just like go on apps dating apps you know what I'm actually gonna I'm gonna phone a friend on this one the rest of the podcast listeners guys how do you do it ladies I should ask the ladies how in this day and age could someone with a vagina 23 year old vagina that has not had the seal broken yet how can they go out into the dating world avoid the dirty dicks and actually

have a nice entry into the dating world a positive experience that's gonna make her not be jaded and think that maybe her parents were right for a fucking you know keeping her chain to a radiator for the first quarter of century of her life uh how should she go about doing it I think feel like dating apps there's a lot of guys on there just trying to fuck you know and then there's these no no that's that app that's that app where people are just trying to hook up this app is the more serious app well what's to prevent someone to go on there and just act like they're looking for a relationship when they just want to ban you so um the first thing I would say if you have the time is you need some sort of uh activity that you're involved in that involves you uh socializing

with uh you know men and women basically I don't know what it is you know go into bars getting hammered and shit that's usually not gonna you're not gonna meet a nice guy there for the most part uh I would say I don't know join a softball you meet a lot of women there um volleyball what it was I mean I'm old fucking start riding a dirt bike maybe you'll meet some guys out there in the trail uh the dusty dicks I I mean I don't I don't know how to I don't know how to help you here I'm sorry uh I yeah I got a I got a phone a friend here you guys got to help me out here help this lady okay put on on in the subject put uh uh what are we 23 fresh box all right fresh box 23 let's call it that all right and you send email me your advice okay and then we

could fucking figure it out we can help this lady out because uh you know I have empathy for you that you're late to the game I I showed up late to the game I showed up at about fucking halftime down 40 points all right dilemma would you rather get punched in the head by Mike Tyson in his prime or get kicked squared in the nuts by Bruce Lee oh easy Bruce Lee not a doubt not a doubt I would go to a sperm bank have my sperm frozen before I had that happen and uh you know and then I would still have my brain intact to intelligently be able to tell the woman that I ended up falling in love with why I allowed the greatest asian of all time to kick me square in the nuts um I mean Mike Tyson I'd still have my balls but I might be drooling on them afterwards as I sit

there that uh that was a disgusting image I didn't mean to say that all right for the for the Tyson choice oh I'm sorry your hands are tied behind your back okay now I have details your hands are tied behind your back Tyson can wind up and is told to cause maximum damage to your head with one punch it's going to be his famous overhand right yeah no fuck that fuck that you know there's nothing too is this way better footage on Mike Tyson than there is on Bruce Lee for the Bruce Lee choice you are spread eagle and cannot defend yourself I assumed you can only wear a European man thong to give you a semblance of dignity I appreciate that Bruce Lee is told to cause max maximum damage to your manhood with one kick he will get a running start do you choose Mike Tyson or Bruce

Lee I still got to go with Bruce Lee you know what I mean what is my quality of life going to be if Mike Tyson gives me permanent fucking brain damage but my junk is still intact all right if Bruce Lee obliterates my dick and balls but I've already frozen my fucking sperm I can still have kids um I don't know I let my wife fuck other guys I guess I don't know I don't know what to do at that point uh but you know I can still have my brain but then my brain would be all day long in a loop going you don't have any junk you don't have any junk you don't have any junk yeah but you know what if I still had my brain I could be smart enough to figure out how to kill myself all right so I would go with the Bruce Lee you know it would be funnier than watching me

get kicked in the balls spread eagle wearing a European man thong is you know the only thing funnier than that would be the yell that I let out as Bruce Lee was running at me I think it would sound a little like this I think it would just be like it would and then watching my inner thighs flexing as I tried hopelessly to try to close my legs um oh that would be the worst too if your legs were tied spread eagle I mean immediately you kicked in the balls you go into the fetal position I would not be able to do that you know which I would think it would make it your your body stay and even more of panic mode

because when you go into fetal position you know it kind of covers up your junk unless you have old man balls and they squirt out the back right um at which point somebody walks by and accidentally kicks them you know like when you fucking think you clear the door and you actually stub your toe um all right that was disgusting okay that's the podcast man I hope you guys enjoyed it thank you to everybody that came out in Rochester thank you to all the guys at at uh I almost said rough and rowdy everybody at barstool sports rough and rowdy I had such a great time and thank you to all the competitors that showed up and entertained everybody I had such a great time uh if there's a way for me to get to the one in

Kentucky I'm gonna be there if I can't I'm gonna be I'm gonna be watching it either in Connecticut or in uh Boston Massachusetts with a bunch of my friends um that's it oh freckles is in town this week and I think my next date I have is in Las Vegas on uh August 18th I believe that's it uh go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on thursday