Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 9-11-17

Episode Date: September 11, 2017

Bill rambles about the South, undefeated seasons and the Russians....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, September 11th, 2017. What's going on? How are you? How's it going? How's it going? More hurricanes, more hurricanes. And this is the 17th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and then the one that went down in Pennsylvania. You know, I mean, Jesus Christ, what is going on this week? It's just all gloom and frigging doom. You know, I was sitting there watching the news with Nia, right? And they're showing highlights of this was it Hurricane Ursa? Is it what it is? Jim Ursa was coming into fucking Miami, right? And there's some fucking, you know, white dude out there, of course, being like, well, you know, it's not coming down real hard. They show like five white people out there. And Nia literally said to me, she goes, what is wrong with white people? I had to laugh. I was like,
Starting point is 00:01:20 you know, we, for the most part, we grew up in cul-de-sacs. There's no excitement. There's no drive-bys. There's no, you know, cops beating you up for no reason, generally speaking, you know, it's kind of, hey, knock it off over there. Straighten up. I know your father, you know, it's kind of like that. So I guess, you know, hurricane comes around you, you need a story, shit, you need a story. I have no idea why. I came up with a hacky 80s joke, though, about fucking the hurricanes. It's, it's, it's, why don't they have all the people stand where the reporters are? Because the reporters never die. They're always standing in the fucking middle of the shit. I don't know how, I don't know how these news agencies know exactly where to fucking stand, but somehow they stand just enough in the shit. I don't buy it. I don't buy it. I'm shit. One of them died yet. You know, how the fuck, I mean, how the fuck do they, you know, Jesus
Starting point is 00:02:17 bill spit it out. Sorry, I flew today. Once I'm already done, but once I fly, it just, you know, breathe in that fucking pressurized air up there. I mean, it's fucking inevitable. If you stand out inside in a fucking hurricane, something's going to fall on top of you. It's bad enough. Like, I love when they sit there and they tell these people, you need to evacuate, you got to get out of there. It's like, and go where? To my summer home? Don't you remember the fucking banks left half this country upside down in their fucking house? It's fucking unreal. I don't understand, like, where these people are supposed to go? Like, where do they go? Everybody just goes north and sits in a fucking waffle house for three, four days. All the hotels get bought up. And if you don't have money, what are you supposed to do? Anyways, at least it was knocked down to a category three, man. I
Starting point is 00:03:09 read some fucking, you know, read some horrible shit about Houston. That's still going on now. There's all mold and there's all you know, you don't need to listen to this. You see it all fucking day. This is all just gloom and doom, all fucking misery here. So when I go to something positive, I actually friend of the podcast, one of the great drummers of all time, Steven Adler, he sent me this thing. He's got a they're doing something for Ronnie James deal on October 6. It's 6 30pm bowl for Ronnie celebrity. Christ, my eyes are going celebrity bowling tournament. All right. No, fuck, I'm not gonna be able to read this. I can't okay, here we go. Oh, gotta love that you can enlarge it. I wish I could do this to the world, man. I have to get glasses. Why won't I just give into the fact that I need glasses? All right, October 6 2017 6 30pm
Starting point is 00:04:03 celebrity bowling tournament bowl for Ronnie. Oh, for God's sake, Steven, where's it going to be at? Oh, it pins bowling center. 12655 Ventura Boulevard Studio City, California 911604. Go down there. It's for a great cause. And you don't have yourself a white Russian, you know, and tell Donnie to shut the fuck up. Okay, and it'll be down there for a great cause. Alrighty. There you go. I'll have put up a link. I'm going to post the whole flyer on the Monday morning thing. I'm a jig. There's another guy got the TV on the animal on my Twitter account. There's a guy standing out there. Jesus Christ, standing out there on the fucking rain. Like the video Al Roker's out there. How many hurricanes is that poor bastard stood out and now it's going up to Tampa. Then it looks like it's going to go right over the Florida Gators football
Starting point is 00:05:02 stadium. Somehow die around fucking making Georgia. Is that what they're saying? Is that the trajectory? I don't know what anyways. So I was in Mississippi, flew into fucking Mississippi on Thursday night and I missed the entire New England Patriots game. And from what I've heard as a Patriots fan was probably better to just landed find out that they got this shit kicked out of them really just kind of in the fourth quarter though. I mean, it was kind of a shootout with no fucking defense as far as I could tell. The Chiefs are all excited doing fucking cartwheels because they let up fucking 27 points. I don't know what they're so fucking excited about, but I will tell you as a Patriots fan, I'm pretty fucking happy. I'm going to tell you why I want to tell you why because I don't like the fucking worst
Starting point is 00:05:54 thing ever is when before you even start the season, those fucking hacks on the sports shows go, you know, they talk about your team like, couldn't they go with it? Right? They start doing that shit. So before the fucking season already starts, you already got that fucking monkey on your back. Every fucking fat douche who never got picked in gym class coming in with his fucking loafers and his sweaters, waddling into your locker room, just trying to rip the team apart and just adding just distraction. So right out of the gate, we fucking lose. All of that is gone. And then immediately they go, Oh, oh, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. Remember when you say in Tom Brady, isn't it after his last game was the greatest without a doubt of all time. Now we're the exact same people one fucking
Starting point is 00:06:41 game later saying he's too old. So I'm loving that. I'm loving all of that. What would you know, I would actually love if we lost next week too, but then they would have all this, you know, what's the time to hit the panic, but you'd have to deal with that. So I'm open, you know, they win the next three, four, they lose another one, four and two, then they're five, just nobody's paying attention. No, they treat us like the Indianapolis Colts. Remember when they were 13 and oh, and nobody said shit for whatever fucking reason, which is really a reoccurring thing with the Indianapolis Colts, no matter what they do, hearing aids in the fucking helmets, fucking pumping crowd noise in tanking the final third of a season to get Andrew Luck stealing the Patriots
Starting point is 00:07:24 offense, fucking being on the rules committee, changing the rules of passing and on and on and fucking on, right? Going 13 and oh, nobody's saying shit. Ah, they're just a bunch of country boys out there. We won't pay attention to them. I love it. I love that we, I mean, I hate our fucking defense, but I haven't liked our defense since we won our first three. I think ever since then, we've always been like, you know, well, we're going to score you, what are you going to score 35? We're going to score 38. I was just, I just kind of feel like we've been like that for too long. And occasionally we've brought, we've brought in a shutdown corner, like a Rivas. Oh, then Taylib, whatever the fuck his name was, who was here for like a year or two,
Starting point is 00:08:05 he was fucking great. But then all of a sudden they're like, yeah, okay, now I want to get paid. They're like, yeah, nah, nah. So anyways, yeah, so I just, I watched a little bit of the highlights. I mean, when you give up an 85 yard touchdown in your corner, like fucking lets the guy go buy him because he thinks he's got help over the top and the guy just isn't there. I mean, I really don't think that's the chief's kicking our ass as much as that's just horrible defense. You know what I mean? I would say though that that guy running for like 6,000 yards against us is definitely a concern. But you know, what are we supposed to win it every fucking year? You know, I'm all right with it. I love it. I love it. So there we go. So now what? Now what? We
Starting point is 00:08:50 go 11 and five. They'll fix it. But I don't know. You know what we do, we always fucking have guys and then they make the pro bowl and then they ask for more money, then we let them go and then we got to build it back up against. So we'll see. It is definitely towards the end of Tom Brady's career. You know, I don't know how it could have gone any fucking better. You know, what are you going to tell me with the fish? You know, you know why so many people flipped out about that aside from the fact that they hate the Patriots? It's that's how people, that's how most people live their lives. You know, they take one loss and they just pack it in. And I'm including a lot of Patriots fans. You know those, but you can never listen to those
Starting point is 00:09:33 sports shows because even like the people who call in, you know, they always use words like concerned. I'll tell you right now, I'm really concerned about our past defense on third downs. Are you? What are you concerned about? As if you're like, you're a part of the coaching staff. And if it doesn't work, you're going to get fired. You're going to have to put your house up for sale and relocate your kids once again. What exactly are you concerned about? Um, but congratulations to the chiefs. I've actually, I've always liked the chiefs. I used to always watch those Super Bowl highlights and that one with Hank Stram, you know, 64 toss power trap. It was always like the one of the great ones.
Starting point is 00:10:11 He's just sitting there laughing his fucking balls off and everybody loved that back then. But now if they had that audio, he'd have to issue an apology to the Minnesota Vikings and Bud Grant and the family and all that bullshit. But, um, so anyways, I was flying back from Alabama. And, uh, so the only football games I was able to catch, I watched the, uh, Green Bay Seattle game, which I know Seattle fans hate cause they, they definitely seem like they were getting the short end of the stick. Certainly on that phantom punching, uh, injection, which I didn't see. I just saw the, the replay of it. Of course it happened on a fucking pick six. Always fun to watch P carol loop blow a fucking gasket, but that guy is a great coach and that's,
Starting point is 00:10:53 that's a great defense. You know what I mean? The fucking Legion of Dube, you know, Legion of boom, sorry, boom, right in your ass with the steroids. Fuck all you guys. If you're going to bring up every fucking goddamn time, Jesus Christ, we bend a card in fucking New England. I'm fucking trashing everybody. I'm doing research on all your fucking teams and I'm going to do what you guys do every fucking time you give me shit about I'm fucking fine. I'm going to fucking look in the corners of your franchise. Jesus Christ, like 30% of that fucking team tested positive defense, tested positive for fucking steroids. And they're still just talking about how great they are.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Unbelievable. Oh, that's another Colts one. The guy caught the fucking allegedly deflated ball, which was never fucking proven. Um, it's never fucking proven yet Tom still got fucking suspended. Everybody's basically paying the price for the under suspension of Ray Rice. I think when they go into Roger Goodell, um, how psyched was he that the Patriots lost after the, uh, those bar stool guys had that hilarious T-shirt of him, just like a fucking clown. Is there anything better than just calling say he's a fucking clown? All your accomplishments just go right out the window. That fucking guy, Roger Goodell makes $30 million a year, $30 million a year. If you can catch and walk into his car and you go, you're a fucking clown. I'm telling you, as much as he has $30
Starting point is 00:12:22 million, probably set 16 after taxes, it bugs him. He's going to be thinking about it when he's drinking his little dunky's coffee in the morning. Fuck is that guy to call me a clown, talking himself, you know, when he's putting his suit on, he's got the jacket tie and shirt. He looks like one of those guys, he gets everything on. He puts the pants on last Clooney already has his shoes on with the fucking socks and the sock garters. You got him talking himself. He's adjusting the nut in the fucking, the knot right there in the, in the mirror. Um, so anyway, so I watched that game and, uh, the defenses, uh, looked obviously great in those fucking games. And, uh, and now I got the, I got the Cowboys
Starting point is 00:13:00 and giants in the background. Um, I did watch the MotoGP race. I just watched the, uh, the big boys. I didn't get to watch, uh, MotoGP three or two, but what a fucking race. How about Mark Marquez just saying, you know, David Sios is just like, Hey man, I'm going to take, I'm going to take the fucking points. Mark Marquez is like, fuck that. Fuck that. I'm going for the victory for you guys. You know, I watched motorcycle racing. It was raining out and they still race. They don't quite go as fast, but they were going like over 150 miles an hour in the fucking rain on each other's asses. And this guy, yeah, what the fuck was his name? He started the race. He fucking shot right up the side
Starting point is 00:13:40 into first place. What the fuck is being able to pee? I can't, I'm new to the sport. I don't know all their names. So anyways, no, it didn't, it was that guy, uh, Bill, why don't you just look the shit up so you can talk? You know what happened? You just can't remember the fucking names. What was the guy's name? Larry legend. Is that the guy who fucking shot up in first before he fucking wiped out? There was more goddamn accidents today, or yesterday I should say when they were racing. And, uh, anyways, everything that formula one needs MotoGP has, it was a race right down to the end and fucking Mark Marquez said, fuck this, I'm going for the points. Cause if he got to 25, he was going to be tied with David Cio. So he passed them on the
Starting point is 00:14:20 fucking last lap or second to last lap and then held them off. Um, you know, it was some Phil Mickelson shit, you know, I'm not going to fucking, you know, just try to get back out on the fairway. I'm going to try to put it in the hole and I'm going to four putt and walk away with sweaty tits. I mean, that's what this man did, but basically on a motorcycle. So that was very enjoyable. Uh, but let's get down, let's talk about going down south now that the Patriots season is evidently over and Tom Brady is, uh, over the hill. Um, you know, the Atlanta Falcons one today and the New England Patriots lost the exact opposite thing that happened the last time. Um, so there you go. I don't know what that means. I'm sure Atlanta Falcons fans, if they could
Starting point is 00:15:04 switch, you know, the results with the Patriots, I think they would, you know, but evidently the fucking football sky is falling. Um, you don't even fucking hate about fantasy football. That is literally taken over. Like, um, they used to have like in the sports pages, they used to just have, they would have like the leaders. It was something was really easy to find the leaders. You could collect football cards and shit. I used to know so much more about the game. I don't know anybody has fucking name anymore. Anytime you go to any sort of website where they have like fantasy, they, when you want to look at stats, it's all this fantasy football shit. Get this guy on your team, Peyton Manning's fucking advertising that stuff. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Should I just give in? Should I just give? I don't want to, I don't want to do that shit. I don't want to have somebody on a team that, actually, I don't really hate any other team in the NFL. Do I hate any of your team? I hate Jim Erse. That's it. That's the only person I don't like. You know, there's certain people that act like fucking idiots in the league that I don't particularly care for, but that I don't hate the team. You know, here's another classic. The cowboys are probably going to beat the giants because this is what the cowboys and giants do. The cowboys win in the beginning part of the year and then the giants always fucking lose. And then in the end, they come back around and they do the same thing down on New York. So time to move on from Eli.
Starting point is 00:16:22 He only steps up in every fucking big moment in January, his entire career. I think it's time to get rid of him because he fucked up in September. You know, I didn't even, I'm going to look this shit up. Did that Ezekiel Elliott guy play? Seems to me, what's weird is they threw out his case in the real world, but it's like in the NFL, you need less burden of proof. Elliott Cowboys, is that his fucking name? Elliott Cowboys to play. Is he playing? Judge Grants, temporary restraining order request for Dallas Cowboys running back, probably from that psycho. What would that person seem like a psycho? Okay, Ezekiel Elliott really makes you,
Starting point is 00:17:14 I've been out of the loop. All right, so he played. That's good. That's good because the clown was going to over suspend him. Oh, look at this. The NFL is back and so are the 15 reasons it's a complete disaster. Hey, how about those Los Angeles Rams coming back wearing the Lamar Lundy fucking blue and white, the fearsome foursome Merlin Olson, Rosie Greer. Was it Lamar Lundy? I always forget him. And then what's his face there? I can never name all four of them. I always end up forgetting one. I always remember Merlin Olson, Rosie Greer. Oh, Jesus Christ, the coolest one of them all. Deacon Jones. And was it Lamar Lundy? Lamar. Lamar Lundy. Is this even a podcast? Is this you guys listening to me fucking? Yeah, there you go. Right. Lamar Lundy. Was he a stealer?
Starting point is 00:18:05 Or was he a Ram? He was a Ram? Lamar Lamar Ram's fearsome foursome. All right, I got it. All right. So anyways, let's get, let's, let's, I'm not watching TV anymore. Now I'm focused. Now I'm focused. Oh, here's Eli driving him in. What's he got his second and eight eight oh nine to go in the third quarter? Eli calling a fucking audible over the middle for our first down moving the ball. Cowboys fans are all going to be saying you need to fucking bench fucking quarter back and bring back Roger Starback. So we did the, the horseshoe casino in Mississippi. I had so much fucking fun doing that. Although it was just a part of the South, man, that was just deep, deep, deep, deep South, deep South hang a fucking right. Don't stop in Alabama. Keep going. Stop
Starting point is 00:18:59 right before you get to fucking Louisiana. And it was just, it was, I don't know, the pace of the people down there was driving me fucking nuts. You know, I ordered room service twice. I kept ordering water and they just wouldn't bring it up to me. So the second time I said, did you, where's the, is there a glass of water? And she's like, what now I'm trying. And I'm like, and, and that's what's on the tray. It's just fucking walks out. There's no, oh, I'm sorry. I'll go get you some. It's like it wasn't on the tray. So then I go to use it like nothing fucking worked. I go to use the fucking ironing board. The ironing board was fucked up. I was trying to make it stand up. It wouldn't stand up. I had to bend the piece back.
Starting point is 00:19:49 It wouldn't. And then I finally just had a fucking meltdown and I'm admitting this to the casino. I jumped up and down on it and then I pulled the shark nose back. I felt bad afterwards and I tried to bend it back, but it's all fucked up. If you wonder why it's fucked up, I finished it off. It was already fucked up. So if you want to send me a bill, I apologize. And then the next day me, Dean and Bartnick drove over into Tuscaloosa to go on. We went to go see Alabama versus Fresno State. We had a great fucking time. We met some people there, some friends of mine, and they hooked us up. We were in, I think this fucking skybox, no sunburn. You know, it was a cupcake game. Who's kidding who against Fresno State? It was a day game. It's like I went, but I have to go back
Starting point is 00:20:38 there again. I want to go there and night game when they play like Texas A&M, Mississippi or fucking, you know, anybody like LSU or some shit like that. I want to go back for that and I want to sit in the fucking crowd the next time. This was like, it was too nice. It was awesome. I had a great time, but it was like, I didn't, I didn't get to feel the crowd a little bit, which was perfect because I had a show that night. So I didn't drink. I'm still not drinking and I didn't get a sunburn. So it worked out for me, but I feel like I kind of went to a pre-season game. So we're walking out of there and fucking Joe Bartnick somehow found the one Russian guy in Alabama and shit escalated quickly. You know, Bartnick walks up to the guy, the guy, I don't
Starting point is 00:21:24 know how they got into a conversation. The guy said he was, somehow he said he, he always heard us talking. He meant said something to us. We're waiting for the elevator. The guy said that he was Russian. So Bartnick's a huge penguins fan and he goes, uh, oh, he's like, oh, you're Russian. He goes, Hey, you know, he's like, Gino Malkin, get any Malkin, right? Hey, you like Malkin? The guy's like, nah, nah. He's like, I like, he's like, I let go of Etchkin. And then he goes, you like it back. And then he gets right in the guy's face and he goes, zero cops, zero cops. He's like, Oh, Etchkin, he goes, starts doing the choking thing. Right. Joe had had a couple of sasperillus. Who's kidding who, right? So they fucking start going back and forth and the,
Starting point is 00:22:07 Joe keeps giving him shit. The guy's going, Oh, come on, man. It's a team game. And he goes, Hey, he's got zero cops. How can you like zero cups, zero cups? Keeps acting like the guy's choking on a fucking dick. And the Russian guy's getting mad. Joe's fucking around. He's not seeing it. And the fucking elevator cannot come fast enough because it looks like it's going to escalate into a fight, which, you know, Joe Bartnick and this Russian guy was actually taller than Joe, but he was skinnier. But you know, he's also Russian. You know what I mean? So, you know, you know, those fucking people, they be, they be fucking bitch slapped Hitler all the way back to fucking Berlin, you know, let people out of prisons and say, Hey, remember
Starting point is 00:22:51 what we threw you in there for? Why don't you come out and go do that to people who look like this? And that's what they did. Half of them were in bare feet. I mean, I know it's a legend at this point, but it's pretty much fucking true. So now I'm concerned because they're both Joe's, like whatever, six, four. This guy's like six, five. And I kept going, Joe, hey, man, hey, Joe, take it easy. He just kept going, you guys got no cops. He just kept doing it and then he's laughing at the guy. And I don't know why he just wasn't seeing the guy getting mad. So the guy goes, Hey, why don't we go around the corner and Joe's like, Hey, let's go around the corner and they walk around the corner. I'm like, are they going to go fight? And then there was this
Starting point is 00:23:27 awkward little moment between them and me and Dean is stone sober. Like what the fuck? So finally, I just go to my buddy. I go, is this some stairs we can take? Cause the elevator was taken forever. And he goes, uh, yeah, yeah, we can take the stairs. So we go to take the stairs and we're going to walk out and the Russians guys like, I would take the stairs too. Now they're walking down the stairs and it's just like, I couldn't separate them. I couldn't get him separated and, uh, I don't know what happened by the end of it. They were, they were like best of friends ready to go drink some fucking vodka. We actually left the game, uh, halfway through the fourth quarter because we had to go do our
Starting point is 00:24:08 show, but I, we wanted to go around and get a picture in front of the bear, Brian statue. And we actually got one in front of the next saving one. There's one other guy that nobody, everybody always forgets. He's only won one championship, but it was pretty fucking amazing to go. I'm telling you, if you, if you get a fucking chance, man, everybody wants to go to the ball parks, all the baseball parks to go to a fucking Lambo field and that type of shit, which I understand, but you know, all you guys who live in pro football cities in, in, you know, New York, Chicago, all that pro shit, Boston, don't sleep on going to big time college football, man. I'm telling you, SEC, big 10, you got to go to the university of Michigan.
Starting point is 00:24:46 You got to go to the horseshoe in Ohio State. You got to go to one of them. You just have to experience a hundred thousand fucking people going, absolutely fucking nuts, pick a good rivalry game, go on fucking stub hub, pay through the nose, go out there, get fucking hammered, go to the game. And then please tell me what you see in the NFL. Cause I don't think the NFL can nearly, nearly touches the excitement, although having said that, how great is it that it's fucking football season? And this is what always happened. Football season goes by like the summer. You know what I mean? Like every year in the summer, I'm like, okay, it's May. We're going into May. I'm really going to pay attention and try to enjoy and remember like, Hey, it's the summer.
Starting point is 00:25:24 We're in the summer. Let's fucking enjoy this shit. I still feel that way, even though I live out in LA where it's summer all the fucking time, right? And every, every fucking year, all of a sudden it's just like September, right? And football season is the same thing. You're like, Oh my God, fucking football season. It's fucking great. Then all of a sudden it's like it's the playoffs and you're so focused on the playoffs playoffs that all of a sudden like it's that week between the championship game and the Super Bowl. And you're like, what the fuck happened? You're so busy putting money on the games and betting on the fucking games. You don't realize not only is there only one, two teams left. There's only one game left.
Starting point is 00:26:06 And then, then we're fucked. Then we're fucked. And then the panic starts to set. And then you think, well, at least I got much madness, right? At least they got much madness. And then I got the hockey and the basketball playoffs. And then there's just, it's just, you know what it really is? It's just July. It's that one panic of July and into August, the dog days of baseball that you have to fucking deal with. That's how I ended up getting into fucking, I think formula one and all that shit, just to cover that. And then I totally got into it. I don't know. I feel like I've been talking in circles for like fucking 25 minutes. What is this? How many, how many awful minutes has this been? 26? See that? You're comedian long enough. You can, you can, you can sense time.
Starting point is 00:26:47 I had this feeling that I'd been bombing for 26 fucking minutes. So congratulations to everybody's team who won this week, including the chiefs. I'm not a cunt. And everybody who lost, it's only, you know, it's just one week. Fucking relax. 25 days and no booze. 25 days and no booze. I'll tell you how well I'm doing with no booze. When I went out, I went through the duty free and I saw that McCallum, McCallum, rare cask, black, which I'd never heard of. And I'm like, I am fucking buying that. When I get, when I come back off the plane and when I got off the plane, I, you know, I think I flew Delta out and united on the way back. So it wasn't there, but I was going to buy it. You know, I'm sitting there talking to myself like, am I done? Like I was actually
Starting point is 00:27:37 thinking on the plane today, like I might be done for good. And then I came home and I ordered these whiskey glasses. And I'm like, well, that's not a good sign. Like if you just say I'm done with heroin and then you go to Amazon, or you go to like syringe.net, you know, and you just order a bunch of fucking drug paraphernalia, I guess as long as you don't buy the drugs, right? I just, okay, officer, I collect crack pipes. Okay. Can I have, can I have my license back, please? You're not going to find any residue in there. So anyway, I was actually thinking on the plane. I'm like, am I, what if I just next year I turned 50, right? And I'm just done with the booze. And then I just become like this yoga Pilates guy. I just go sting, right? Gordon Sumner.
Starting point is 00:28:31 I become that fucking guy, you know, I look good for my age. If I actually fucking did that through my fifties, I would look fucking unbelievable at 60 for a 60 year old, you know, and you figure by then, you know, how good tanning beds are going to be, how good the hair plugs are going to be, you know, and I bet I'll be microchipped by then, which I can also have like the added Viagra option to it. You know what I mean? I think I can stay in the game for another 10 years after that. I don't know what do you guys think? Have you guys thought about the future you, the microchipped you, full head of hair and abs? All right, let me read some advertising here. Oh, speaking of fantasy football, you know,
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Starting point is 00:35:02 class of mail based on your needs. No need to lease an expensive postage meter for the last fucking time. I use stamps.com anytime I send out my posters, anytime I sell posters at the end of the show. I'm a moron. If I can figure it out, so can you. And right now, right this very many, you too can enjoy the stamps.com service with a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus postage and a digital scale without long-term commitments. Go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type bird stamps.com and a bird stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. Alrighty. There, that is done. That is done. So I'm actually toying with that idea. You know, no booze, done, done. I don't know if I can, I don't know. I understand why
Starting point is 00:35:54 alcoholics like they take it one day at a time because it's just sitting there like I'm never going to do this. No, just today. I'm just not going to do it today. Just not going to do it today. You know, sometimes you got to do it though, right? You know, your wife's talking to you and you're sitting there looking at her smiling and nodding. She's thinking, oh, I love when he looks at me that way. He still loves me. I can see it in his eye. And you're actually thinking about that bottle of booze that you bought. How are you going to go out in the garage like a fucking degenerate? Sit in some dirty chair. You don't give a shit, right?
Starting point is 00:36:32 Pour that glass. You set the bottle down. It touches the floor. You hear it echoing in your garage. You know, that garage, that's yours, right? That garage that you made the decision, you weren't going to be like these, most of these guys who let their wives not only take over the house, but also the garage, right? And they just fill it up with all their shit. You can't even get the fucking car in there. That garage is yours. You put up the dartboard, you get the kegerator. That's that's your little fucking tree for it. You know, I mean, I was kidding. Oh, you're a guy yet. You're still a child. Just because you can grow a beard doesn't mean you're mature. All right.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Would you look at all these stars doing these fucking commercials now? Jesus fucking Christ. Can you leave something on the bone for the struggling actor? Can't you just do a fucking ad over in Guam like you used to? Anyways, I want to redo my fucking garage again. Okay, I gotta, I gotta add something else in there. I gotta add a fucking, you know, now that I never have my truck in there, you know, I put it in storage. So I kind of flip flop and everything like that with the new car and then the old car. I haven't driven my truck in like two weeks,
Starting point is 00:37:47 man. I'll miss it. I got to do that someday. I got to have the garage with the fucking room above it. You just have to have it. That's what it is. You know, and then what you do, you have a fucking prenuptial agreement that if we get divorced, I get the garage and the room above it and you cannot fucking evict me. That will be mine and you will get the fucking house. But you know something fucking diligent people, but I just don't feel safe with him being out there and they cry their way into getting that too. You know, I swear to God. I wonder if anybody like when a hurricane's coming and if they're in an unhappy marriage, like what's going through their mind, you just sitting there with your wife, you know,
Starting point is 00:38:31 she doesn't know that you bought a boat that you tied to the back of the house, a little fucking rowboat, you know, she can't see it. You convinced her to try to ride out the storm and then when the water comes in, you're like, see you later. Oh, Jesus, Bill. All right, let's get to the fucking questions this week. I apologize. What do you, you know what? I don't apologize. I don't apologize for fucking making up shit. I'm making up shit, man. What the fuck you want from me? All right, booze lineups, booze lineups. Did I talk about everything I want to talk about first before I get into this shit? Let's see here. Stephen Adler, Ronnie James, Alabama versus Fresno State, Mississippi, horseshoe,
Starting point is 00:39:15 ironing board. Oh yeah, when I was waiting for the fucking car to come around, I was standing out in front of the hotel going, I'm never coming to this fucking state again. I was so fucking, everything was going so goddamn slow. But you know, once I got over my five second temper tantrum, I realized that I actually had a great time there. So I'm going to come back next time I'm coming back. It's either when Ole Miss or Mississippi State has a game. I'm going to a fucking game that and I hope they're playing Alabama or some shit like that. Joe finds a Russian. I talked about that. No booze 25 days. Oh, Billy fucking red velvet cakes was going to take a month off. Now all of a sudden he thinks he's the next, he's the second coming as Sting, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:52 Sting held onto the hair. He was losing the roof. And then all of a sudden he started doing yoga. He started standing on his fucking head and all that blood went to the top of his head, started feeding the roots. That's what happened. Maybe mine will come back. Fantasy football is taking over trading cards and all that shit. I talked about that. Well, I guess it's time to get on the fucking with the, uh, the booze lineups here. All right, these guys booze lineup. Hey, Billy Bollock chops. Uh, I'm a listener from a listener from the UK. I, uh, by the way, it's 16 to three. Well, you guys already know this shit. Dallas playing some good defense. I'm a listener from the UK. I managed to get to your show in
Starting point is 00:40:31 Manchester and it was brilliant. Ah, thank you. I was nervous about that show. You know, all I knew was this fucking soccer hoodlums from the 80s. You know, the fucking neo-nazis falling around man united. That's all I knew. I read among the thugs and to me that was Manchester. He said, I wanted to send you my team of drinks, but I don't watch baseball. Oh, you're batting lineup. Okay. I tried when I was in New York to watch baseball, but I found it boring. Same with football. Fucking boring. Uh, he means soccer here, I guess, because he says I only watch for that for the world cup. I mainly watch rugby league. You watch that seven nation league where if you come in last, you get the wooden spoon. Um, NFL for the Seahawks cricket,
Starting point is 00:41:13 and I'm a big fan of F1. Dude, if you can sit through fucking cricket, you can get through a baseball game. I mean, that's the same thing except cricket lasts for fucking five days. Um, I decided to send you my list of drinks as the formula one teams. I don't really drink that many neat spirits or whiskey. So I included everything else I drink when I want to get pissed. All right. Leading off, he's got Mercedes, his Mercedes Benz team. For those of you don't watch F1, they're like the fucking cream of the crop. Uh, we really should have batting cleanup, but I get this. You're going to do this more like, you know, how they rank football teams, the best to the worst. All right. Uh, IPA beers. Yeah. I'm one of those guys,
Starting point is 00:41:56 but I know pissed people off talking about it. My pole position drink quite happy to drink these beers all night, drink IPA's all night. Jesus Christ. It's like drinking a Thanksgiving dinner. Each pint is so fucking, I fucking hate, they're so fucking, you know, every once in a while, I just want to have one beer, but I know I'm going to drink 30. I'll have an IPA because by the time I'm done with it, I'm just like, Jesus Christ, I've had enough, enough with the fucking hops. Good Lord. It's like overacting. Quit bugging your eyes out of your fucking head. I get it. Beer's supposed to have hops. Well, as long as you don't drink any of those stupid beers that have those, those aggressive for no reason names, you know, angry fuck face, kick your mother in the
Starting point is 00:42:45 cunt beer, whatever they have, ale, angry ale. All right. His second batter would be the Ferrari team, Jack Daniels, black label, old number seven, whatever you want to call it. Uh, been around for these all these years and it's, and it is as popular as it's always been. Usually drink it with a Coke rarely neat. Oh Jesus. This guy's not even in triple A here batting third red bull Mount gay with Mount gay eclipse rum. All right. If you're in your twenties, I forgive you for this lineup. I've been drinking it with ginger beer since these guys were Jaguar. Oh, the red ball. I'm sorry. The Red Bull team. I'm a fucking idiot. So I'm sorry. I thought you were drinking red bulls and Mount gay eclipse rum. I was like, what in the fuck? I'm sorry. I apologize. All
Starting point is 00:43:37 right. Force India team is, is a Browke vodka. Never heard of that. Usually with apple juice. Dude, I gotta be honest with you. You drink like a woman. Usually with apple juice and a little umbrella in there. And I sort of spin around a couple of times or like fatness. I'm new to good vodka. Like a few Brits. I was drinking paint stripper, paint striper vodka and red bull from 17. All right. The Williams Stella, our choice, Larger. It's okay. Williams team is the Stella are toys. I don't know how to say have to ship the old dependable. I never heard of it, but doesn't win many races anymore. Still nothing beats turning up at a maids house with the crate of Stella for a day of drinking. Toro Rosso team would be sailor Jerry rum. This guy's a rum drinker.
Starting point is 00:44:28 When I started drinking rum and moved to the Red Bull team not long after. All right. Well, at least you didn't mix that with anything. The Haas, the American formula one, Jack Daniel, single barrel, one for the Americans. There you go. The only whiskey I really drink neat. Good man. There's hope for you. Renault, that poor ass team, bitter. The classic British, British drink, which has not served warm. It's served at cellular, seller temperature. I don't even know what bitter is. McLaren, Jager Meister. Not as good as it used to be, but I have some great nights drinking this stuff. How the fuck anybody drinks more than one of those is beyond me. The Sauber team, I don't even know who that is. Bringing up the rear, it's cider.
Starting point is 00:45:11 Not even close to a go to drink, but I'm glad it's there. I fucking hate cider. Love the podcast. Efforts for family and all those specials. Come back to the UK soon. Thanks and go fuck yourself. I'll definitely be back there. Thank you for your booze lineup. There was actually a couple of interesting things in there. That's a Brauka vodka. I never heard of that. But you know, I'm going to do yoga and Pilates for the rest of my life. I'm going to age like Sting. Granted, he started doing that shit in his 30s. All right. Number two. All right. Question number two or whatever the fuck I'm doing this week.
Starting point is 00:45:47 A rhinestone ball bag. Billy, I love the podcast and love when you rip into the morons simply for being morons. Keep it up. That's why I trash myself so much. I wanted to throw down a booze lineup, but for hockey. All right, here we go. We're going for more booze lineup. I feel like this is getting old people. I'm going to read this last one. That's going to be it for the booze lineups and every once in a while we'll do it. We need some more overrated underrated. Center, the Cindy Crodby position, Miller, genuine draft. I hate that beer. God bless you. Somebody's got to drink it. You pay a little too much for him, but he's your franchise players. So you have no choice. Left wing is Wiser's black label smooth dangles and sets everyone else up.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Right wing is Santiago 16 year Cuban run from foreign player. Other teams are afraid to sign that plays his ass off every night, but takes some stupid penalties. D-man number one, Jack Daniels, safe, gritty, defensive minded, and you didn't break the cap hit for him. D-man two cores light, never misses a game, jumps up in the zone, but on the wrong end of the odd man rushes too often. Goli is crown royal hometown boy that gives you 65 starts a season and always gives you a chance. Bartnick would love that lineup. I don't know about Miller genuine draft, but he'd love that you finish with crown royal. Thanks and go fuck yourself. All right. Now we're on. Now we're on to some fucking questions here. All right. And the fuck are we built? What is this? This is
Starting point is 00:47:25 more fucking football. I can't do this. This is this too many booze lists here, but it's just going to get boring because it requires me to really read out loud, which I'm not good at. All right. Fingerprinting students. What in the fuck is happening to this world? Hey, Billy Bo Baggins, I'll try to keep this short. I just started college and in the dining halls, they now only use fingerprint scanners to let you in. Cooking is not allowed in the dorm. So if you want to eat, you have to give them your fingerprints. I'm not one of those. I got chip slash free t-shirt people, but what else can I do? Your thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Well, millennials, I think it's time you guys fucking rebel. You got to rebel against
Starting point is 00:48:11 something here or go to subway. Why do they need your fucking fingerprints and what are they going to do with them? Even if they're not going to do anything with them, they're going to hack into the your system. Somebody's going to hack into the system. That's so fucking nuts. That is legit. I honestly have to look up like how, how, how do people justify taking your fucking fingerprints to give you a fucking slice of pizza? How do colleges justify taking students fingerprints? I love how the mainstream fucking pussy ass fucking corporate media never talks about this shit. They just sell people out. They're just such, all these fucking idiots screaming about Trump and Hillary. And this is what they're doing to citizens of this fucking
Starting point is 00:49:10 country. It's fucking unbelievable. Can I refuse to have my child fingerprinted at school, background of fingerprinting? I got a Jesus. I almost lied to you guys. I got to read up on this like I'm actually going to do this. Should schools fingerprint your kids? Isn't that what is this for? Let me guess. It's for our own protection. All they do is make gift bags for people that know how to go on the internet and steal shit. Here it is. Here's the fucking social security number with the fingerprints, the home address, all the relatives, all in a nice, neat little fucking bag. I can't fucking believe that this, these fucking jerk offs, these fucking jerk offs,
Starting point is 00:50:00 anybody watches Fox and CNN as a fucking jerk off? When was the last time they held the feet of the fucking cunts that are doing all of this shit in the fire? When the fuck have they ever done that? Have they ever really gone off to pharmaceutical companies for starting a heroin epidemic? Have they ever really gone after Monsanto for fucking with the food supply? Have they ever really gone after bankers for what the fuck they were allowed to get away with 10 fucking years ago? Jesus fucking Christ. You do one off-colored fucking joke. They cover that more than these fucking insurance companies are probably going to fuck everybody over. Ah, now I'm upset. You know what I would do, sir? I would fucking somehow go out of my own pocket and I would
Starting point is 00:50:46 fucking eat down the street for fucking cheap. The best I could. That's why you can still bring snacks. You can't cook. You can still have a fridge, right? I need a bowl of fucking cereal. I would eat a fucking bowl of cereal three days of three times a fucking day before I get those fucking cunts, your goddamn fingerprints. First of all, all you're going to do is come out of college. You're going to be all these student loans. What sort of job is he going to be there? You got to give me your fingerprints, too? Fuck these people. Fuck them. You know, I don't know. You're not even allowed to fucking protest anymore. You'd have to go to a certain section. You'd have to get a fucking permit to protest. Dude, I guarantee you the reason
Starting point is 00:51:35 why they're taking your fingerprints is an added revenue stream and they're going, you know, they're going to fucking sell them to somebody else. All of those fucking people that take your fucking in from me, oh, it's safe and secure. It isn't safe and secure. What they've done now is they've made it a lot easier for these people that go in and steal shit rather than having to break into you personally. They just break into a company and they get like a, whatever, a couple of thousand people, a whack. And then what kills me is after these cunts, take your information, their system gets hacked into and you, can you sue them for putting your shit up there? It's fucking unreal.
Starting point is 00:52:21 Anyways, I just recently had, you know, a TV network that I worked for sent me a fucking letter. She'd go in there and go read it and say, you know, unfortunately someone broke into our system and a lot of personal information might have been exposed. So all they're required to do after it's like, why did you keep all that information? We need to go back to paper and file cabinets, people. I'm telling you, make these fucking pieces of shit, put on little cat burglar outfits, have the flashlight in their mouth as they try to pick the lock to go in. Sorry, I really just lost my shit there. But I feel like my, you know, even though I didn't have all the information I needed to make a logical argument, I feel
Starting point is 00:53:02 like I am right. I'm sniffing around something there. All right, Alcoholics Anonymous. Hey Bill, I was in AA for roughly two years. If you're thinking about attending, I would suggest you visit a library and get the AA big book. Sometimes they have a copy available. I would read it. Okay, now you just asked me to do two things that are really difficult for me. One, going to a library and two, finding a book and then actually three, reading it. What else you only do? Dunk a basketball. You're really getting outside the realm of what I do here. Then I would also read the orange papers, an online website which attempts to debunk the AA philosophy. Attend a few meetings and get a feel for it. But honestly, I don't think you're an
Starting point is 00:53:48 alcoholic from listening to your podcast. I just think you're a piss head. You can put a cork in the bottle. I hear you sometimes beating yourself up when you've had three large pores. Oh Jesus, relax. That's not alcoholism. I love this guy. Sure, you're probably not a good drinker, but it's all on a spectrum and you seem to be doing fine. When you start drinking cleaning gel mixed with fruit juice because it has alcohol in it, then we can talk. I've heard it all in AA and you don't qualify for the club in my humble opinion. Take it easy, you bald fuck. All right. Well, thank you for the kind words, sir. No, but it's also, it's not good for you. I can tell you it's not. The level that I was drinking was not good for you. But I also don't think AA is bad. If it works for
Starting point is 00:54:38 you, then I think it's good. If it doesn't work for you, I don't think you then have to go out and debunk it. What kind of a cunt does that? Alcoholic Anonymous has helped so many fucking people. Let me look at the orange papers. Who the fuck's the asshole? Everybody just always has to reign on somebody's parade. Orange papers here. I just realized somebody might be fucking riding out this hurricane down on Florida listening to this podcast. If you still have power, if you get a generator, I just said rain, rain on your fucking parade. Sorry. What are the orange papers? Orange papers, I spelled orange wrong. I put two N's in there. I don't know why I said ORNANGE, orange papers AA. Here we go. Orange papers, recovering from recovery, anti AA sites such as
Starting point is 00:55:32 orange papers. All right, now this is just going to be another website that just hijacked the whole fucking thing so I can't get to it. Where are the original? Orange papers, original, original, please, please can I get the original? I can't find it. I cannot fucking find it. What the fuck? Come on, man. All right, I just clicked on this page and I see a picture of a monkey. Leaving AA staying sober. All right, here we go. The suffering alcoholic and those unhappy and AA. All right, let's see what they bitch about here. For the suffering alcoholic and those unhappy and AA, Alcoholics Anonymous has over two million participants globally. That's it. It is a friendly and welcoming organization with many
Starting point is 00:56:26 caring helpful members. AA offers companionship, blah, blah, blah. If you think you have a drinking problem and haven't tried AA, stop reading this essay and go to a meeting. However, a growing number of options are slowly, I don't want to fucking read all of this shit. All right, I'll take your word for it, evidently. Look at Eli stepping up in the pocket. What's the score here? 16 to three, seven minutes to go. Did he just throw a pick? Who knows? All right, wife working out with X. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. If I saw that at the beginning of a fucking porno, I'd be like, oh my God, can we come up with a fucking less cliched scenario?
Starting point is 00:57:23 Okay. Hey there, Billy Redsack. Love your podcast, love emphasis for family, can't wait for season three. I wanted your advice on something. Here's the story. I got married about a year ago and me and my lovely wife moved to LA right after the wedding because she had a great job opportunity. She had lived in LA a few years ago prior to meeting me and when she was living here, she had a fling with some douchey private fitness trainer. Both of them viewed marriage as a stupid concept and they made a pact that when they'll get married to other people, they'd meet up and fuck. I don't believe a fucking word of this. I don't believe a fucking word of this. This is too stupid.
Starting point is 00:58:06 They made a pact when they'll get married to other people, they'd meet up and fuck. I mean, that definitely sounds like an LA conversation in a gym. I'll continue reading. So as soon as she changed her relationship status to married on Facebook, that guy sent her a bunch of messages, which were sexual and pretty much offered to take her up on the agreement and fuck. She didn't respond, but she did tell me about it, but I didn't lose my shit and remain calm. In the last few weeks, she told me she's looking for a way to get in shape and she said that the douche had offered her private workout sessions in exchange for her help in his business. She's an accountant. She said that because private workout sessions are expensive
Starting point is 00:59:00 and he's very good at what he does, this is a great opportunity that would save us some money. She said she made it clear to him that she's happily married and nothing is going to happen and he understood completely. She asked me if it bothers me and I not wanting to look like the insecure jealous type. Oh my God, you fucking, dude, I'm telling you, these fucking women are in guys heads. All of this bullshit that you've seen on fucking TV, all of these fucking women fucking playing the victim all the time, all of this fucking coverage of just what guys do to women has now every fucking guy has his balls in his fucking back pocket. And it's just like, well, I don't want to be the guy that fucking makes you uncomfortable. Okay,
Starting point is 00:59:48 wait, but she fucking tolerate this from you. You don't want to look in. That's not being insecure, sir. That's common fucking sense. So he said, honestly, honey, I trust you. I want what's best for you and tried actually to do that. My question is, do you think she's trustworthy? Possible, but that guy isn't. And that guy's just drawn her in because he wants to fuck her. Um, she does have a history of cheating on her exes. But so do I, we've both been happily married and our sex life is great, but still the doubt and insecurity about that is this issue exists. Love to hear you take on this. Can't wait for the new hour special. Thanks and go fuck yourself, buddy, buddy yet. No, no, no fucking way. No fucking way. Work some extra hours. You know,
Starting point is 01:00:49 I would actually be willing to believe that she's going over there thinking she's not going to do anything, but that guy's going to seduce her. That's what's going to happen. They already banged. They're already, you know, physically like, you know, you know, the boundaries are not going to be there. And I'm telling you that that's not a good situation and you're not in, you're not insecure at all. You know, and so what if you are, that's a legitimate, that's a legitimate feeling, that full fucking thing. That's like those stupid fucking t-shirts. I saw this, this woman was wearing this fucking t-shirt. I told you about that when I was back in the
Starting point is 01:01:29 summertime. I said something like, a real man is excited by a strong woman. A boy is like, whatever, intimidated or something like that. It's just some miracle. Oh, I want to be, I want to be considered a strong man. I want a cookie. I was reading that Rolling Stone, where they had the actress that was playing, played Wonder Woman. And I was all excited to read the article and the first quote that they had, they said, are you a feminist? She goes, yes, I'm a feminist. Everyone should be a feminist because if you're not a feminist, then you're a sexist, right? And I like burst it out laughing thinking like, well, it all depends on what your definition is. That's what's funny about these Hollywood people out here. I swear to God,
Starting point is 01:02:15 they sound just like the Fox News, right? People, they're the exact, you know, that is zero tolerance. You think the way I do, if you do not, then you are this. Like there's no clear cut definition of feminism anymore than there is of like what makes, like, you know, that's real rock music. And then somebody's always like, that's not rock. This is rock. That's bullshit. It's the same thing with like feminists. Like everyone was a feminist the way my wife is, which, you know, in all fairness, this actress that played Wonder Woman could be, I don't fucking know, but just to say, like that is just such a, I mean, granted, it's a fucking interview. They're trying to get people fucking worked up to read the fucking
Starting point is 01:03:01 thing. Maybe it was taken out of context. Maybe she said other shit, but just the way that's presented, you know, Rolling Stone is just fucking insufferable though. It's just fucking insufferable. The way they handled Obama with like kid gloves. And if you, if you're fucking Republican, they stick your head in the fire. Now I'm not saying they shouldn't stick these Republicans head in the fire. I mean, they're the fucking, you know, they're, they're, they're bought and paid for at that level. Right? Am I nuts? And I also thought Obama was too, judging by the $69 million worth of tour dates he has coming up, giving speeches to all these fucking rich people. Guy just bought a $10 million fucking house. It's fucking unreal. And they don't say shit. All they do is show them playing
Starting point is 01:03:47 Highline fucking going kayaking and parasailing. Like, isn't he cool? I can't believe how cool he is. Anyways, by the way, Rolling Stone is Trump the worst president ever. I haven't noticed you. It's not like you haven't fucking written it. It's just like, I don't even read the fucking article. It's like, I understood your point of view the first 90 articles. There's so much other shit you could be writing about. You know what I mean? Good fucking Lord. Like my, why can't you make fun of like extreme liberals every once in a while? Throw me a fucking curveball, something. Ah, Jesus Christ, I fucking need to go buy some fucking tampons here. Sorry, you know what, what happened? You know what the funny stopped was the
Starting point is 01:04:32 fingerprinting of these fucking poor kids. These poor kids are going to college. They're getting in all in fucking debt. All right. And these colleges are acting like they've adapted to how quickly the real world is changing. And I don't think they are. And that's why these kids are coming out. It's like they're coming out with degrees and like fucking, I don't know what the fucking, uh, churning butter, essentially, and then they can't find a fucking job. You know, I don't know. I remember like always reading up about all these fucking amazing musicians. They would go to Berkeley and they would, they would never complete the guys that went out and seem the guys that went out and did shit. They never finished. Like they were like,
Starting point is 01:05:11 this, this whole being here, I got what I needed. Now I got to get the fuck out of here. And, um, I'm not saying drop out of college, but I really feel like, uh, if that voice is screaming in your head and you fucking have some good ideas, why take on the last year of debt? The last, you know, why? Cause your parents want you to, um, I don't know what, because Bill Gates dropped out if you drop out. I'm just saying, you know, what the fuck I ended up doing. I didn't need to go to college. I had all those fucking, all that student loan, all that debt and I left and I immediately went down to a comedy club and started doing shit jokes. Um, anyways, we got to end on something positive here. Uh, please go to that Stephen L Adler, Ronnie James thing. Um, I gotta post that
Starting point is 01:06:06 the bowl for Ronnie, Ronnie James. What a fucking voice. I want a great guy too, man. I never met the guy, but like all his interviews, he couldn't have been more down to earth. Um, once again, it's going to be at pins, PINZ bowling center, one, two, six, five, five, Ventura Boulevard. Uh, it's going to be a bunch of rock stars there, a bunch of comedians all bowling, raising money for, uh, I don't even know what the, what is the cause here? I know Ronnie died of cancer. So I imagine it's that, right? Oh, Ronnie, Ronnie James Dio, stand up and shout, uh, cancer fun. There you go. Stand up and shout, right? Um, so there's something positive for you and I believe it's October 6th. All right, I will be tweeting that out and I am
Starting point is 01:06:51 trying to get back onto Instagram. I haven't posted on Instagram and forever. I think I have to create an entirely new account because I keep saying, I forgot my password. Please email it to me and they haven't been able, or I haven't been able, I can't find the fucking thing. Um, so that's it. That's the podcast for this week. Congratulations to everybody. One week, one congratulations to all football fans. That is football season. Um, my favorite fucking thing happened this weekend, by the way, when I was in the Alabama theater, there was this fucking guy in the front row and he had his middle-aged dude, he had his cell phone on. It's middle-aged guy. And I'm like, dude, are you recording the show? Are you recording the show? And he kind of was like, no, he goes,
Starting point is 01:07:30 he goes, I'm looking at the scores because it was Saturday night. He wanted to see how the other SCC teams were doing. And I go, well, what, what, what are you watching? He was watching the Georgia game. I go, what's your Alabama? What the fuck do you give a shit about Georgia for? He goes, they're in the SCC. I go, they're not going to catch you. They got that decent quarterback, though. I don't know. And the crowd kind of dies down. And this guy in the back goes, he says to the guy with the phone, he just goes, excuse me, sir, sir. He goes, what do you say? Oh, fuck, I'm going to butcher the joke. Auburn Clemson, whoever the fuck Auburn was playing. It was like I wasn't even there anymore. He just asked for a score.
Starting point is 01:08:09 Oh God, what a fucking great setup. It would have been such a killer story if I could have fucking remembered Auburn score. What do we got here? That's right. They played Clemson. Yeah, he goes, excuse me, sir, Auburn Clemson. That's all he had to say. The guy's just right on his phone looking to give him the fucking score. I don't know. It's a great fucking place. Don't sleep on the south. All right. If you really think about it, your state's just as racist. Okay. That's it. Go fuck yourselves. I don't know what else to tell you. I'll check in on you on Thursday. I hope, you know, I hope this is a little damage in Florida as humanly possible. And that's all
Starting point is 01:08:52 you can fucking hope for. And, you know, all you guys making fun of people driving electric cars. I don't know now, you know, what the fuck? I drive gas combustion cars, so I'm not fucking looking down on you, but you know, I don't know what the battery does in the end. When you drive the Tesla into the fucking ocean, can you recycle the battery? I have no idea, but I'll tell you what that guy's doing over there at that Tesla company. I like it. I like it. I just wish the car could look a little more meaner. Looks great from the back. Looks great from the side. The front. I don't know what it is. Just can't quite get into it, but I know it's a fucking amazing car, but the SUV is fucking cool,
Starting point is 01:09:30 huh? The Lamborghini doors opening up. Plus, it's also a great way to win the war in the Middle East. You know, drive an electric car, you ride a bicycle, anything you do to use less fucking fossil fuels, fucks those people over over there, and they don't have money to funnel through the moss to give to the terrorists. And there you go. And then all of a sudden, oh, uh, Jimmy crack coins out of fireworks, right? Oh, I just solved the Middle Eastern problem or the Middle East problem, not Middle Eastern. I don't have problems with Middle Eastern people. And this is why I don't hold office. All right, go fuck yourselves, people. I'll talk to you on Thursday. Proximus. Think possible.

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