Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 9-16-19

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

Bill rambles about Iron Maiden, football, and Sovereign States.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast from Monday, September 16th, 2019. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? Oh, is it? You having a tough one already? Well, you're fucked because it's Monday, buddy, or lady, whoever's listening. How are you? How great was the fucking weekend? Football, like the first week, it's like you can't even believe that football's back. And then you're like, who's good? Who isn't? Who the fuck is this guy? That guy's still in the league, you know, when once that all takes a week. And then the second week, you're like, oh, that's right. I didn't dream last week. This is real, man. It's all he did was watch football.

I watched the college, I watched the pros. It's all I did. I had such a fucking great time. I did some other shit too. I can't remember during the day, but say Saturday night, I went to, I saw Iron Maiden at the new soccer stadium that they tore down the LA Sports Coliseum. And I don't know, I guess I don't watch the news. I had no idea that they were tearing that down. Iconic venues where the Lakers first played, you know, Will Chamberlain. And who's the white dude? Who's the fucking symbol of the NBA? Was it Rick Barry? I forget. Anyway, the place of Bob Cousy's last game beat the Lakers in the finals as they always used to back in the day. So anyways, they knocked that fucker down. And they put up this gorgeous new soccer stadium

that I would say rivals anything that's out there in the Premier League. You know how it is. England tries, and then America does it better. And then they make fun of how fat we are. I mean, that's basically what it is. But at the end of the day, England, you had a great run, but we're going to take over soccer now. The second we decide, we have all the best players on this side of the globe. You know it's true. You know it's true. They're all on this side of the globe. They're not in this country. They're all the way down south. And if you really look at the globe, it's kind of halfway, would be halfway to Europe, it's halfway to Africa, all down, you know, Central America, South America, I'm just fucking with you. I don't know shit about soccer, but the stadium was beautiful.

Although nobody could fucking nobody knew where to go. I went and I saw, I saw Iron Maiden on the Legacy of the Beast tour, where they were coming out 40 years of the band and they were playing all the hits and they did. And I don't think the band has ever sounded better. They absolutely fucking blew me away. Bruce Dickinson voice was incredible. Nico McBrain, you should see the guy's drum kit. I actually am going to post a video of it, because you know, it has all that, like his drum kits are works of art. I don't know who paints those things, who comes up with the concept. But his drum kit, it's red, but it looks like it's made out of stained glass when it's underneath the lights, including the drumhead, the front

bass drumhead is also a stained glass kind of thing. And I went on YouTube and I was watching, because I was like, I got to see this video up close, because it kind of had him behind like this fence for a little bit before the fence came down or whatever and all this shit, you know, all the theatrics. And each one of his toms, this guy did like a different motif of all the different eddies throughout the years, all the different album covers. And despite all the albums that they have, he seems to have just as many drum toms going around his kit. And yeah, I just, I cannot say enough, I'll fucking great the band sounded and Jesus Christ, Dave Murray, my God is that guy a beast. I always don't him 80 years, Smith will fucking amazing,

but just that fucking he sounded like the record. You know, he just starts playing, he never even looks at the guitar, he just kind of puts his head back. And I went with Dean del Rey, which made it even better. And right out of the gate, Bruce Dickinson made a joke about how old they all were while trash in America in a funny way, where he's like, well, you know, the other day we did a whole, I can't do the accent, he did, we added up all our ages, and we're actually older than this country. And don't you forget it, we are your fucking grandfathers. Your granddaddies are something like that. It was a really funny joke, whole crowd fucking laughed, killed, killed with the joke, and then proceeded to absolutely destroy. And I don't know, it just really took me back

because believe it or not, as much as I talk about John Bonham, Nico McBrain was the reason why I started playing drums, because I watched that live after death VHS tape a million times when they were down in Long Beach. And I was blown away by the band. But at one point, they actually had a shot that you never saw back in the day, they never had it was basically shooting behind the drummer. And you could see all four limbs doing something different, yet all working together. And I just remember that just, you know, guitar just seemed like impossible to me. I didn't have the ear, but drums that look more like physical. And I was playing sports, I was just like, that's the coolest fucking thing I think I've ever seen. And that's what really that thing came out

in like 86. And by 88, I had a kit and I was playing. And then on the other side, this is how much this band means to me is Bruce Dickinson is like a sick, such an unbelievable pilot that he actually flies the goddamn 747 or whatever they have, he flies the damn band and the whole crew around, he's got you know, with him in the co pilot. And I don't know, I kind of got a kick out of that last night going, look at Bruce Dickinson, the guy's a total fucking rock star, he's got to keep this, you know, the plate spinning here to keep people coming to the show, just drip and sweat and all that shit. But he still had time to go out and get his instrument rating. I can do this. I don't have nearly the tour schedule this guy, and he somehow figured

out how to do it. So I've been tearing through the chapters in the prep test. And then I bought this awesome book that just really goes into detail. And I cannot fucking believe how much into weather and how the instrument works and everything. I just, I kind of took the pressure off where it's like, if I don't take the written test, or the multiple choice test by the end of the year, there's a whole new test next year. And you know, something, so I was under the gun and I'm trying to go through the books, I was just like, you know what, I don't give a fuck. So what, then I might have to fucking reread some other shit and I'll know what twice is good next year. I don't care. I just want to, instead of having the pressure of trying to, I got to take this test,

which I still think I'm going to by the end of the year. I want to get in, stay locked into the fun of learning all of this stuff and how fascinating it is and how human beings figured out how to fucking do this. You know, many of them costing them their lives, so everybody can be safe up there. Like I swear to God, the more you get into aviation, test pilots are out of their fucking minds, out of their fucking minds, the shit that they do to make sure to find the limits, you know, push it right up to the brink. And then they come back like, Hey, you know, you probably shouldn't do that. I would love to talk to a test pilot someday on this podcast and just listen to the fucking stories as my blood turns fucking cold. And I

just want to be like, you know, do you just, do you wake up in the middle of the night and cold sweats? You know, anytime I've had one of those dreams, it's a hypothetical, they actually fucking live it. So it's really incredible. So anyway, we go to the concert. It's at the new, whatever, the fucking bank of whatever, Coliseum, and we ended up ahead of buddy, you know, I got the drummer from Instagram who hooked us up and me and Dean up and we got to you know, go into like the VIP area. But then what was awesome was we didn't have like douchey VIP seats. We were like stood the whole concert. We were down on the floor. There was like a fucking mosh pit broke out only a couple of times. But just the whole thing. So then you were down there on

the field and you got to look up and see how many people this band still draws. By the way, they have fucking merch lines. I thought it was the line to get into the concert and it was just people standing there to buy their t shirts. And somebody told me that Iron Maiden set the record for set the record for the most merch ever sold at a concert. I think it was in Australia. They sold $750,000 in fucking t shirts. Unreal, unfucking real. So no, Steve Harris is always him and he used to win like best rock bassist every single year. You know, him and Cliff Burton were the two fucking coolest guys I thought. As far as in the 80s, the guys coming up, you know, they played with the fingers, they didn't have the pick or whatever, which I know, you know, the pick gives

you a different sound and has merits. But I always just thought the guys would play with the fingers just always look the fucking coolest. And I heard through the grapevine that he was actually feeling under the weather and you never would have known, you know, total fucking pro just went up there and absolutely killed it. And such a I cannot say enough about the show absolutely blew me away. And I would go see it again in a second. I went up to their merch table at the end and everything was like sold out. I wasn't trying to get something from me. I was trying to get something for my daughter. I wanted to get her like a cool little shirt or whatever. But what's cool is they make like one off shirts just for that venue. Like I'm sure the Vegas one was cool, probably had

something to do with gambling, but this one actually had any tea like diving to save a ball and a goalie net. It was actually really cool. By the time I got up there, they were out of my size. So what the what the what the what the fuck are you going to do? But then the people watching there was hilarious. It was fucking everybody. It was like people older than me, if you can believe it, a lot of people my age, and you just get to talk to people when you first see them and all that stuff, I missed them in the 80s. Unfortunately, I just did so bad in school, my parents will watch me like a hawk. So I got to see priests, but I never got to see Maiden. And the first time I saw him was 2006. And I was so psyched. Oh, another thing too,

was I watched that that live after death thing so for so fucking long, that it became a catchphrase between me and all my siblings of Bruce Dickinson going scream for me long beach, scream for me long beach. We would just do anytime we would bring up a Hey, Iron Maiden has a new album coming out and then some someone in Verbi yell scream for me long beach. And when we saw him Saturday night, Bruce Dickinson was going scream for me Los Angeles, scream for me Los Angeles. The iconic thing that he said, and me and Dean just looked at each other like, Oh my God, he's saying the thing that we watched that total fanboy thing. It was fucking awesome. You know, what else was great not drinking and being stone fucking sober remembering the whole goddamn concert.

And Jesus Christ, there was some fucking people getting after it. God bless him. I did it for years. This guy walked by me and I couldn't get out of the way because you know where a drunk person walks. It's like watching a bat fly. You don't know what the fuck they're doing. And he ended up fucking bumping into me and I swear to God, I felt I was playing pick up hoop. You know, when everybody else is playing and then you sub in and you haven't been playing and you're like bone dry. And that guy post up against you and you're like all his fucking slime. Yeah, that was the only down part of the fucking show other than that. It was awesome. All right, there you go. Enough of that. So I watched. Yes, I'm coming up on 300 days. No booze.

300 days. No booze. I feel great, but I'm not gonna lie to you. I still miss it. I keep talking to people that quit forever. And they just like, yeah, dude, I don't mean I don't even miss it anymore. I just think I need more experiences like that. But I'm not gonna fucking lie to you, dude. I'm not gonna lie to you a fucking ice cold Miller high life right now with a little shorty next to it. Sounds pretty fucking awesome. Such pretty fucking awesome. So I don't know. Yeah, can you can you feel me fighting it? I've got 300 days on Friday. And my my, you know, I got to break the record. So I know my personal record. So I know I'm going to go at least 367 days. And I also know I want to go to calendar year. So I know I'm going to at least make it to

the fucking Rose Bowl. But then next year is going to be tough. Because that's when, you know, I got the record, my own, I beat my own personal best. And then it's just going to be like, oh, how long am I going to fucking take this for? You know, what am I doing? What do you do next, Bill? Never have ice cream again? Yeah, there's been a couple of times. I don't know, whatever. I don't know. Maybe I'll go back. Maybe I won't. I don't know. I have no idea. This is like one of the end of us, a fucking, you know, Dallas, like who shot JR, like is Bill going to start boozing again? I do think it's funny that you guys can't say Billy Boo's face anymore. Billy Boo's bag and none of that shit. Now what are you going to do? Just attack me for my looks. My all natural sober

looks, you sons of bitches. By the way, thank you guys for all the emails you sent. It's been overwhelming response to my latest special. And I couldn't be fucking happier. I think it really, I think I really kind of pushed through to another level on this one as far as like people, their responses to it, you know, there's always going to be a couple of Boo birds out there. But that is kind of the way it's always been. It's just how it always is. You know, it's funny couple of people were like, oh, wow, you really went hard on this topic or that topic. And I would do interviews or something. We'd be like, no, actually, I didn't. If you watch my other specials, there's no difference in tone. I'm hoping I got better as a comic, but as far as

what I've been talking, the way I've been going at shit, it's just been the same. You know, there's no reason to hit a woman. There's plenty of reasons you just don't do it. I've been doing jokes like that right along. It's just this last weird four years, where all of these spoiled brats started acting like they cared, you know, and so much of their caring really has to do just about themselves. So everyone can look at like what a great fucking person they are, while then they just totally bully everybody else who doesn't think the way they think. And they try to ruin their careers. And that's going to be their legacy. And I'm telling you, I really feel like it's coming to an end. And you watch all of them scurry away like a bunch of fucking rats.

I'm telling you, just like during that McCarthyism, and one fucking person took the blame. Senator Joe McCarthy, but there was a bunch of other people that went around ratting out their fucking friends and all of this shit are not fucking sticking up for people who are falsely accused. It really is sort of the liberal McCarthyism that I just feel like is going to come to it. You know, you keep people inside on sunny days for so fucking long before they want to fucking come back outside again. I haven't said that. I'm not saying to be a fucking asshole to anybody, but like the goddamn word police, fucking ridiculous. And I'm having a great time making fun of white women too, who really should glance over their shoulder every once in a while out

their fucking Lexus SUV fucking window. You know, before they start pointing fingers at fucking privileged people, it's really just it's just like I just jaw on the fucking ground. You know, I watched this fucking thing the other day. And it was this great thing on like Joan Rivers and the Tonight Show and all that. And you know, Johnny groomed her and all this stuff as far as brought her in and all that. However you want to say it, whatever the fuck those guys do, you know, the all those guys that he let in, let him in, let on all that. And when she did, she ended up getting a talk show that competed against his own fucking show, didn't let him know. And he found out, you know, the way every just regular jerk off found out.

And then he never talked to her again. And I saw, I don't know if I've already talked about this just blew me away. Somebody goes like, you know, and if a guy did that, it wouldn't have been a problem. It's like it apps a fucking Lutely would have been a problem. It apps a fucking Lutely would have been a problem. But that is like this fucking dialogue that has just been out there. It's just like a woman has a bad day. And if a guy did the exact same thing 100% of the fucking time, it's it's all fucking sunshine. It's just like, all right. All right, you're done making you. I thought I was the only one making a fucking cartoon out there. Jesus Christ in the Miami Dolphin Stake.

My God, you know what it is? You guys have such wonderful weather down there other than those fucking, you know, end of the world hurricanes, there has to be a balance. That's the only thing that explains it. I actually didn't see any of the fucking game because I got this new fire. They used to what direct TV, if you order the football package, you automatically renewed again the next year. I don't know what the fuck is going on at direct TV. It doesn't renew. You got to call them up. I don't know how the fuck you subscribe. But now it's only like 69 99. It used to be 100 something because now everybody's fucking streaming the shit. And then they got the Apple TV and then they project it up on the thing. How the fuck you do that and turn your laptop into a projector?

Is it on the Wi-Fi fucking shit? And it goes through your friend's head and into your TV. And then you're slowly giving your friend brain cancer as you watch the lions versus San Diego Chargers, which was one of the ugliest two quarters of football that I've ever fucking seen. It's like, I felt like both of them had a deal with the mob and they were supposed to lose. Every time they would get, they'd make a good play. There was a penalty. Anytime they scored, they fucked up. They're missing field gold. I mean, it was fucking ugly. It was as ugly as the beauty of the Kansas City Chief's second quarter against the Raiders that just fucking nuked that entire stadium. Believe it or not, the Raiders were actually winning that game seven

or nothing. And Patrick Mahomes is just fucking scary. How good that guy is. How fucking good that guy is and how young he is in his career. And I remember making fun of that time when he had that first good game on a national as far as like Monday night football. And that guy was just like, Patrick Mahomes, I hope you appreciate it. I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, relax. The guy had a good game. You know, you're already putting them in the, you've put them in Canton, Ohio, but I got to tell you, that guy was right. That guy was right and I was wrong, you know what? And I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm big enough of a man to admit that I have really learned over the years being married how to say I'm wrong when I'm wrong. Dude, that guy threw four touchdown passes in the second quarter.

Now, listen, I didn't see the game. I just watched the highlights. There was some really suspect coverage on a couple of those things, but two of them were really difficult, especially the last one was a beautiful back shoulder throw. I don't know, as much as people around the Patriots Dick, we played the Steelers who are still trying to put it together. And then we played the Dolphins and they stink. And I don't know who Kansas City played the first week, but I don't want to hear this fucking shit about us going to be, you know, oh my God, you guys are without a doubt the number one seed, you guys are going to go undefeated, all this dumb shit I'm already hearing actually from, you know, a lot of other Patriots fans. It's like you're not fucking watching the Kansas City Chiefs.

So, and I'm sure they're not happy about that loss last year. They're going to come gun and force. So we will see what happens. Antonio Brown, we got to see what happens with the case. Was it bullshit? Is he getting blackmail? Did he do it? Who knows? You know, who knows everybody on Twitter, either innocent or guilty seems to know without seeing any evidence. They do their own fucking research through, I don't know, other people's Instagram videos. And then all of a sudden they, we reached a verdict, your honor. It's like, yeah, we haven't even started the preliminaries. So we shall see the giant stink, the giant stink. I got to be honest with you, here's something I called, I told fucking Bersey from day one, getting rid of Tom Coughlin was the stupidest

fucking thing. This fucking thing where it's just like, you know, we needed to change a scenery, not a change history, we needed to change the culture, whatever the fuck they say. I mean, the giants, you know, stunk when I was a really little kid. But ever since I've been a teenager, I'm now 51, has been a quality franchise and made great decisions. This is the biggest bonehead move that they fucking made. Tom Coughlin undefeated against Bill Belichick, who owns everybody else in Super Bowls, fucking owns everybody else. All right, and I know I'm going to hear some from fucking Eagle fans because they had one good goddamn day. I wouldn't take that away from you, but if you really want to put your coach up against our coach any day of the fucking

week, all right, but Tom Coughlin, they did it twice. And the second that guy fucking left, he made the Jaguars a good team, goes to the fucking giants, they get two fucking rings, now he's back with the Jaguars and the Jaguars are immediately a fucking team that you have to fucking reckon with. Makes no goddamn sense to me that you would get rid of that guy. Um, so good on Jacksonville to get the guy back. He's won everywhere. Boston College, Jacksonville, New York Giants and Jacksonville again. Guys like that do not come around. Me talking to that guy is a hall of famer. And I don't know what they thought they did. I don't know if they thought the game passed him by. He had too much white hair. I have no fucking idea. Stupid fucking move. And then

last thing, last thing that I want to talk about football fucking Sunday, other than the Rams handling the Saints. And I think that that their coach, I forget his fucking name is that he's obviously, I'm not saying anything new, but that guy is the next, I think brilliant mind in coaching, which I don't know why I get so fucking geeked about coaching. I like when NFL films does stuff on players, I love it, but there's nothing I like better was when they just start like talking about some of the great old school coaches. And then one of my favorite football geek things is coaching trees, which is why I became a Lions fan because I root for Matt Patricia out there. I don't know what the hell he did to his leg.

Probably body language, hoping a fucking field goal would go through the uprights in that game the other day. Tours meniscus. I should was at charges. We missed it all the field goals. That fucking Seattle Seahawks challenge on a non call of a pass interference. I didn't even know you could fucking do that. How much more advantage are you going to give to the offer? And then there wasn't even pass interference. And he went back and they looked at the all that's right. The team with the ball had something bad happen to him. I got to be honest with you, man. I have the fucking Pittsburgh Steelers are just snakebitten. I've never seen a team that's just in this new fucking I don't know no helmet to helmet hit error in the NFL. I don't think any franchise has gotten fucked

like substantially like costing them the game more than the Pittsburgh Steelers. If there's another team, please let me know. I've kind of pay attention to the AFC. But I remember that that fucking time we first of all, like half the defense has gotten suspended for tackling people. There was a, you know, they haven't beaten us in forever and they actually beat us. They scored a fucking touchdown and then some fucking, I don't know, tuck rule 2.0 thing came in and then now actually that touchdown you just saw wasn't a touchdown. And then we ended up winning the game and then fucking yesterday, I watched them, you know, great tight coverage, great non-call pass interference. Pete Carroll throws his little fucking red hanky on the go by the way, I mean,

I just like, I could, I can't fucking believe I get in bounds out of bounds. I get that shit, but like literally saying I'm throwing a flag because I feel like you should have. I don't know when the fuck that started, but I don't know, Jesus Christ. But having said that, I'm done complaining, I guess, I guess I am, although that's the whole backbone of this podcast about how bad defenses get fucked in this new pro offense era that we're in. I don't know, I'm just going to just forget it and just be like, this is, you know, the fourth quarter with three minutes left in a lot of NFL games as, as, listen to this segue, is as fun as the last four laps of a fucking MotoGP race. Did anybody watch the last one from

San Marino? Now, if you're an American, you're probably saying to yourself, where the fuck is San Marino? Is that near, is that near Rhode Island? Where exactly is that? San Marino is what's known as a sovereign state. Okay. Sovereign state is basically, that's what basically Illuminati level rich people, but they, they're too afraid of hurricanes, so they won't buy their own island to have their fucking sex parties on. So what they do is they carve out a, a part of a country and they're just like, we're our own country without an army, and you guys are going to protect us because we have this much money, but then we're not going to pay taxes for the army. I made up that last part. I know what that part is true. A sovereign state

refers to a state that possesses full sovereignty. Oh, thank you. And orange is a fruit that's an orange. I mean, what the fuck would you know at that point? Full sovereignty over its affairs, I guess freedom, existence and territory. It is completely in itself. A sovereign state is recognized as being a legitimate nation by other major nations in the world. The minor, minor nations sit there. You're not a fucking nation, but bigger than you. Major characteristics of a sovereign state are super rich white people going to eyes wide shut parties, sex trafficking. This is all right here on the Wikipedia page. I'm kidding. Major character, a defined territory in which the state exercises internal and external sovereignty. All right, I gotta look up the definition

of sovereignty because this sounds like it's it's it's beyond. Okay, sovereignty definition. All right, sovereignty power. How can we hope to Jesus Christ, they give me a quote. The authority of a state to govern itself, or another state, a self governing state, supreme power or authority right there. Supreme power. I think it's just a bunch of I gotta look up sovereignty state conspiracy theory. I can't spell it. How the fuck did such a tricky fucking word? This is one I'll never be able to spell. E, E, R, E, I, G, N. Why do you guys listen to this point? That's not a spell it s o r. I was literally looking at the word and I copied it. I somehow spelled it right. Oh, it's not s o r. It's S O V E R. Sovereign state conspiracy.

What's the deal with sovereign states with sovereign citizens? Great. This is going to be perfect conspiracy theory. It's combining bad 80s stand up. Come on, man. Give me a conspiracy deal theory here. All right, FBI, the sovereign citizen movement. Okay, the FBI is freaking out about this shit. Domestic terrorism. Americans attacking Americans because of US based extremist ideologies comes in many forms in a post 9 11 world. We kind of have an extremist fucking foreign policy. No, to help educate the public. We've previously outlined two separate domestic terror threats. Eco terrorist animal rights extremists and loan of people who like animals are on this FBI list. Stop killing rescue dogs. We need to bug that house. I want to know what these fucking

people are doing these animal people. I guess what are they like blowing up fishermen boats or something? Today we look at a third threat, the sovereign citizen extremist movement. Sovereign citizens are an anti government extremists who believe that even though they physically reside in this country, they are separate or sovereign from the United States. Yeah hippies, spoiled people. As a result, they believe that they don't actually super rich people to what am I talking? Why am I blaming the fucking non working man, man? They believe they don't have to answer any government authority, including courts, taxing entities, motor vehicle departments or law enforcement. Yeah, this sounds like the sons and daughters of the super wealthy. This causes all kinds of problems

and crimes. Yeah, like backing over people and then driving home. And when the fucking cops show up, your lawyer meets them in the driveway and says, yeah, she'll turn herself in the following morning. Do you remember that fucking publicist in New York at Long Island did that? I remember reading that as a younger man going, I didn't know you could fucking do that. For example, many sovereign citizens don't pay their taxes. They hold illegal courts that issue warrants for judges and police officers. They clog up the court system system with frivolous lawsuits and leans against public officials to harass them. And they use fake money orders, personal checks and and the like at government agencies, banks and businesses. Well, yeah, that's their protest that bank the banking system is

nothing but a Ponzi scheme. That's just the beginning. But the thing is they need if everybody believes the lie that I think we're good. That's just the beginning. Not every action taken in the name of the sovereign citizen ideology is a crime. But the list of illegal activities committed by these groups, cells and individuals is extensive and puts them squarely on our radar. In addition to the above sovereign citizens. Listen how well I'm reading out loud when it's something I'm interested in. Commit murder and physical assault. Jesus, threaten judges and law enforcement professionals and government personnel. Impersonate police officers and diplomats. Oh, these guys are assholes. Use fake currency, passports, license plates and driver's license. Hey, you know, you're under age,

you want to get a drink. Engineer various white collar scams, including mortgage fraud and so called redemption schemes. Now, wait a minute. That's like super mainstream, though. Fucking let all those people go, didn't you? All right, I have no idea. Anyways, I want to talk MotoGP race in the sovereign state of all these fucking murderers who don't want to pay fucking taxes and impersonate police officers evidently. I'm telling you guys, you got to watch it came right down to the last fucking lap. The race starts. All the Suzuki's were in first place. Fabio Quattarara, Quattarara. Maverick Vignales was he in the beginning? Alex Rinds, I forget who the fuck was in there. It was all I

know is the three Suzuki's. I'm still learning the sport. And then you just got to watch Mark Marquez run all these guys down. And then he's behind Fabio Quattarara and just became Fabio Marquez show for the rest of the race. And Marcus followed him all the way to the last lap. Like I felt like 17 fucking laps. He was just in second place. And that's got to be unsettling for a younger rider to have the greatest fucking rider of since, I don't know, I guess say Valentino Rossi as far as my limited understanding of the sport before he jumped all over me. Just behind you for 17 laps, looking at all your strengths and weaknesses and just figuring out, okay, on the and they just wait till the final lap. And then the final lap, they pass each other

like two or three fucking times. But I was really impressed with the power of the Suzuki in the end where Fabio had another run at him. But right as Marquez break Fabio was too close to the head of like he had to come hard on the brakes. And then Marcus just kind of broke away. I kind of fucked over the excitement of the last like two, three turns, but Marquez wanted to congratulations to him. And once again, another outstanding race. Despite the fact it was in a sovereign state full of murderers and personators and people with fake IDs. You know, I don't understand why do they get recognized? How does this I this really fascinates me. It's just like say like, Monaco, you're right in France, you get to be on the fucking French Riviera.

And but you don't have to pay any taxes for France and you're in France. How does a sovereign state come about? Can you imagine if I read up on this shit and I figured out how to become a sovereign state with it? Then I would be fucked because then I'd have to trade with you guys. I'd have no food supply. I can't do that. That was a dumb idea. You know, and you guys want to listen to me read up on this shit, do you? How does a country become a country? What constitutes, how does a country become a country? I gotta take bloodshed. All right, what constitutes the sovereign state?

Why can't they just answer the fucking question or get to it? This person writes, this is how they started. One might try to determine just what constitutes a sovereign state empirically by examining the characteristics of states whose sovereignty is indisputable. Just fucking tell me. I got my hat in my hand. I'm asking you. Can you imagine if you want to have somebody's house for a party like, excuse me, where's your trash? One might determine just what constitutes a trash can by examining the characteristics of the structure. You'd be like, I'm going to fucking mush this garbage in your face. Just answer the fucking question you cunt. All right, I no longer care. Maybe that's part of their fucking

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slash burr. Jesus Christ. Let me get a drink of water here. Oh, Billy Freckles has been working out again and I don't do the fucking water thing too well. Nobody drank water when I was a kid when you fucking worked out. Nobody stretched. You just showed up with your matching gray sweatpants and fucking hoodie, right? And those old school guys that have the towel around their neck tucked into the fucking hoodie. All right, pulling out. Oh, wait, is that it? Okay, that's it for the advertising. All right, let's get into the fucking questions. Let's get into the questions. All right, this is the new thing and I got a new fucking jingle here. Right? Here we go. We're going to read the fucking questions here. Hey, that's me. All right, you want a production value on this fucking

podcast? You got it. All right. I like that you guys get to hear the fucking shit. Godsmack. What was it? What was that drumming Shannon? Shannon Larkin. Jesus Christ. What a fucking beast that guy is. All right, pulling out. Dear Billy of Defense. I agree with you about Trump. I didn't vote for him and he doesn't do things that represent me, but you're right that he gets no support when talking about pulling out troops. It's fucking unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Or he's going to talk to the Taliban, even though he said I'm not fucking doing it. But I mean, just as long as there's somebody trying to fuck, I mean, we're just hemorrhaging cash for the love of fucking God. You heard Democrats spewing the same things Republicans did when they were pressed

with scaling down our presence in the Middle East. They all vote for war and we need another party, but for now, we need people to recognize what's right, even if it comes out of the mouth of someone you don't like. I'm going to read that last sentence again. For now, we need people to recognize what's right, even if it comes out of the mouth of someone you don't like. Love you, love the special. Thank you. That's one of the biggest fucking problems that you have with people who are politically active. It's like they're sports fan and their team can do no fucking wrong and they just want to, they want to start history with, say, if they're a Democrat, they want to, if they want to talk about the banking system, they go, well, George Bush, buh-bah-bah-bah-bah,

and these fucking people, Republicans, well, Obama did this. And before Obama was there, during George Bush, Republicans would be like, well, Bill Clinton, you can thank Bill Clinton for that. You can fucking thank Bill Clinton for that, right? And now all these fucking, you know, liberals right now are talking about how bad fucking Donald Trump is. And, you know, I mean, we just had a fucking Democrat in there for eight years and he couldn't fucking get us out of, you know, any of this shit that we're fucking in. I mean, that's a tall order to ask one person to do, but they're all kind of like, they're all getting paid by the same fucking people. If you look at the fucking speech schedule of a retired president, they're all playing the same college

gigs, if you know what I mean. All right. All right, I swear to God, this fucking black mold, ever since I, you know, I had it in here, man, I got to go get checked out. It's like, I feel good, but it's just this fucking shit. I can't get out of my goddamn throat. Well, Bill, maybe it's because you smoke four cigars a week. It can't be that. It's got to be the toilet. All right. All right. Okay, pulling up. Dear Billy of Defense, I agree with you. Oh, no, I already did that one. Okay, clouds. Hey, Billy, skyballs. Oh, please, by all means, I hope this is somebody who's a fucking pilot or something. I'm actually really into weather now, looking at the clouds and not being like, oh, that looks like a Dalmatian. I'm actually now trying to figure out what kind of

cloud it is. All right, so here we go. Last week, I was listening to you try to sort out the smorgasbord of sexual terms for that lady with the polyamorous aka cheating ass boyfriend. That stuff is all Greek to me, so I can't help you there. But if you liken the confusing terms to the cloud types, you've been struggling to learn for your instrument rating. All right, first off, good on you for doing your instrument rating. Even if you never fly IFR, it means instrument flight rules for all you guys not doing the shit. I don't know shit about it. It says VFR and IFR. VFR is visual flight rules, which as fortune themes are put so eloquently, I fly VFR. I can only fly when it's nice up, when there's at least five statute miles visibility.

And, you know, I can see what the fuck's going on. IFR is when you're in the clouds and shit or you're above the clouds, where you can, you know, okay, you need to land in a city and it's completely covered in clouds like where the fuck is the airport? Where are the buildings? Where's the shit that I'm going to run into? And you have to have the fucking balls to trust your instruments. And that's how you navigate through it's fucking next level shit. All right, but if Bruce Dickinson can do it and fucking tour the world as a rock star, I goddammit, I can find the time to learn how to do this. All right, if even if you never fly IFR, the training will help you in low visibility conditions. And in the unlikely event that you

inadvertently enter a cloud, those skills will keep you calm and prevent yourself from going ass over TKL into the ground. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. And I got to tell you something. I was, I've been watching all of these videos and I watch these videos of people with VFR get into IFR and fucking, you know, unfortunately, most of them died. And it is it fucking, it may be literally like, I don't know if I want to fucking do this anymore. But unfortunately, in aviation, you know, you usually learn by somebody fucking dying. And the reason why I am doing this IFR training is because somebody crashed a fucking helicopter in that shit, basically almost dyingly across the street from me when I was in New York. And it just

freaked me the fuck out. And, you know, so you either stay scared your whole fucking life or you face it and you learn what to do. But you can get when you get in the clouds, you totally learn you it's, it's, it's, it's hard to explain because I've never been in it. But just the way they describe it, it doesn't even seem possible. But you can literally be like, you know, at night, if you have no horizon, you can literally be in a spin and you don't even know it. You know, in the centrifugal force, if you even had a drink, it's not even going to spill. It's like that ride at the carnival, except you're fucking spinning. And you, if you, if you go into a turn, you get this thing called the leans, where all of a sudden being in the turn feels like you're,

you have a straight and level attitude. And if you look at your gauge, you're like, wait, I'm not. You look at your, whatever the fuck it's called. I got too much shit in my head right now to try to fucking think, but your attitude indicator, when you go to level off, you're going to feel like that's just your, your fucking lean and weight of the right and you're the fluid in your ear that tells you your balance is fucking lying to you. And you have to look at your gauges and fucking ignore that is you're flying a fucking plane or a helicopter and you can't even see anything. And you have to fucking override that and just look at your gauges. This is the fucking, this is the shit. This is the real shit. This is taking the fucking training wheels off. It's

terrifying and fascinating. Anyway, as far as the cloud types go, it's pretty easy to learn once you break down what the Latin root words are, reading them all as a list makes it unnecessarily confusing and can be hard to memorize. There are really only two types of clouds you need to know. Yeah. Stratus and cumulus. That's what I was kind of feeling. All right. Stratus is Latin for layer. Think fat, flat fat, think flat, hazy, featureless clouds. And cumulus is Latin for heap or pile. Think puffy, pillowy clouds. What about the ones that kind of look like a little bit of both? Like it's Stratus and then all of a sudden you'll just see one that looks cumulus. Is that because it's just a lifting force underneath there or as it was moving, it ran into a different,

a different pressure system or more moisture? I have no fucking idea. Almost all cloud types are either one of these terms or some combination of the two. Yeah, those are like all the offshoots. The other hint hidden in the name is the altitude in which the cloud is found. Yeah, that's like alto and all of that shit, right? This is noted with the prefix on the front of the name. For high level clouds in Latin, the word sero means high. Interestingly enough, that's what the comedy store's name was back when it was a supper club before it was a comedy store. It's called seros. Okay, meaning high. And I actually had, you know, in Vegas, they have a casino out there called the Stratosphere.

And when I was getting my private license, I was joking with my instructor saying, I want to start a one floor casino called the Troposphere. Even though it goes up to 60,000 feet, it would be just a fucking joke. Totally all VIP, super fucking high hand, one floor, only like the sovereign state, fucking eyes wide shut fuckers. Anyway, is, is in front. Okay, sero meaning high is in front, is in the front. Okay, like sero cumulus, sero stratus. And it's above 20,000 feet for mid level clouds, alto meeting middle is in front for clouds between 6,000 to 20,000. And for the low level clouds, there is no prefix. Gee, dude, God bless you.

And then, okay, now he's going to talk about nimbo, which I know me, that's basically when it starts raining. And that's the ones that you want to avoid at all costs, nimbo, cumulus, cumulonimbus, I believe, there is only one other Latin word you need to know. And that's nimbus, which means you're fucked. No, or nimbo, which means rain. That gets thrown on the front or the back of words, depending on the cloud. Yeah, that's weird to me, how it's a prefix and suffix. Once you know these five terms, you can pretty much name any cloud with a few small exceptions. You see a thin, flat, high level cloud, it's sero stratus, you see a mid level cloud that's puffy alto cumulus, you see a big ass, tall, puffy rain cloud that looks like it could fuck you up,

that's cumulonimbus. I was a flight instructor for a few years at the beginning of my career and breaking it down like this helped students who were like myself and weren't the best at memorization. Yeah, dude, you really helped me out. Thank you. Sorry to have education on your podcast. Love the new special and good luck with the rest of your training. Hey, I'll take any and all fucking help I can get on that. Thank you so much that I'm going to fucking copy and paste that and read that 1000 times until it sinks into my old brain here. All right, cop writing in Dear Billy No Booze, I'm a police officer in a major Canadian city and I wanted to chime in about the opioid fentanyl crisis you were mentioning recently.

It's a fucking epidemic. Oh yeah, Jesus Christ, these guys see this. I would think so many of their calls that they respond to has something related to do overdose or violence of somebody trying to get this shit or whatever. Anyways, and the average person reading the death toll in the paper sees the numbers but not the faces. I thought Dave Chappelle's bit on it in his new special was funny, sad, and accurate. Yeah. And that right there is what separates Dave from the rest of us is his ability to be that fucking dark. And I guess is a little inside thing on Chappelle's show, the small part that I had there. When I saw the first cut of the law and order sketch in the end when the white dudes in prison try not to get raped and then Dave's character

is on the golf course, the way they for him and, you know, Neil first put that fucking thing together, it was so fucking dark. Like it actually made me feel like, wow, like what the fuck selfishly, because as a white person, I could finally relate to the character that was in the really bad situation. I just felt like he did that with that bit. The coldness of, hey, fuck him, just say no. And it's just like, wow, we really did that to a whole race of people. And that was their kids, their parents and all of that. And just let them die. It's just fucking brutal. And he somehow got a laugh out of that. Anyway, I can't count the number of times I respond to accidental overdose deaths from fentanyl or even heroin on any given week. I'm sick of having to tell parents

that their adult son or daughter was found dead and alone from an overdose, you know, because all those fucking druggies take off too, because they're going to get, I don't know, implicated or something. Whatever, we're found dead alone from an overdose behind a dumpster, behind the wheel of a shitty stolen Honda Civic or in a fucking McDonald's bathroom. It also ruins little Timmy's goddamn happy meal experience when they go to use the bathroom and find this Jesus Christ. So what's the solution? I don't fucking know, Bill. I'm a street cop and the people in charge of this shit are too entrenched in red tape to take suggestions. But I do have two my two cents. I would love to do. Let's do like two of the smartest fucking back to back emails I ever got.

You know, nobody asking for advice. They're educated. No freckles. All right. It's true that almost all homeless people have a mental illness and slash or a drug addiction. The three are tied together in a destructive cycle of petty crime to feed the habit, wandering around like zombies from the walking dead, ending up in jail and slash or a why do I just say and or why am I reading the slash and or a hospital ER slash psych ward visit then back on the street without solving anything whatsoever. Yeah, because there's no money in it. Because these rich cons don't fucking give a fuck about anything. I don't know how the politicians work in your country, but ours are set up to be bribed. They're grossly, grossly fucking underpaid.

So they need someone to finance their fucking. It's like a ban trying to get signed by a record label back in the deal and you just get fucking raped. So how do we break in this break the cycle? My opinion is forced long term rehab. It sucks to say but there are plenty of resources out there for addicts slash homeless people to get better. But most would rather not go through the trouble once they are strongly addicted. They need to be taken out of the general population for their own and other safety and the addiction meant slash mental illness combination can lead to unpredictable behavior and violence. Doesn't all of this make sense? We got money for all this other shit. Why don't we do this? The facilities themselves and you know what someone would figure out how

not to give them their right fucking treatment and make money off of these fucking people. The facilities themselves need heavy independent civilian oversight and those being held should have regular assessment to determine whether they can actually hold a job or take care of themselves or whether they too or whether they're too fucked from years of drug abuse and trauma. If they go, they should have regular check-ins. If not, try to give purpose and meaning to their lives and continue to have regular assessments. At the same time, legalize all drugs makes me feel weird to type this as a cop. Provide them for cheap and in moderation and assess the users for long-term rehab. People are going to use drugs whether they're legal or not. Take the power away from these

fucking dealers and faceless mega-corps in China who are distributing this shit. Dealing with drug use and possession as criminal offenses has never worked and I can tell you as a cop, they are way better using, they are way better uses of our resources. Well, there you go, man. Anybody going to fucking argue with that? You know what? Somebody will. Somebody will actually will argue with the cop who's actually up to his eyeballs in this shit every goddamn day about why you can't legalize drugs. All of that fucking made sense to me. And if a politician were to come along and suggest that, how much would they be fucking attacked? It's unbelievable. That's why I can't watch politics. It's literally if somebody comes on and actually talks logically and says

something that makes sense, that would actually cost money but help society in general. It just immediately gets branded as socialism or fucking, I don't know what, extreme right wing, extreme left wing and they just fucking, they just shit all over it. And then like the same five corporations just keep making money off of everybody else's misery. It's fucking off. I gotta be honest with you, like the homeless situation out here in LA is crazy and it wasn't so goddamn dangerous. You just don't know how to approach people. I saw a woman the other day, it just looked like somebody's mom and I was thinking like maybe that would be somebody that, you know, and it was daylight and shit that you could maybe try to like just fucking help out. Like what if I did,

if I found like a family that was fucking homeless and you know, I set up like a donation thing. Everybody throws in a dollar and you just fucking pay for an apartment so that you get those people off the street so they feel safe and they can, you know, shower and get them some clothes so they don't look like they're living on a street so the mom can go into a job interview or something like that. Like I really think at this point it's kind of a cop out to just sit there and fucking blame politicians because you know that that system doesn't work and their hands are tied. I think it's kind of like it's up to, you know, just regular people, you know, I live in this city. Why don't I try and take care of it? I don't think it's enough at this point. It's not working that I just take care of

myself and if you have a little bit of means or something like that, I don't know, maybe that could be something to look into. I just have no idea how to fucking approach somebody on the fucking street like that and I don't feel like getting this shit kicked out of me or get scratched and then have to take 42 fucking shots to the abdomen, you know, those rabies shots or some shit. See, look at that. I'm fucking, yeah, I'm nervous. I would be nervous to do that, but that could be a, I don't know, everybody gets their one person off the fucking street, you know, as opposed to they just all these fucking banks just loaning out all these money for these fucking construction company to keep knocking down cool shit for regular people to do to put up another fucking unoccupied

fucking apartment building that nobody can afford to go into. Jesus Christ, I'm on my soapbox this week. Let me see here. Here we go. One more time. Time for preaching with your host, Cunty. These theories from somebody else. All right. Where am I here? Let's get back to the goddamn podcast here. All right, rookie firefighter. Dear Billy Baldbags. I like that one. I'm a lady listener for a while now and seriously love how you don't give a fucking say and say it how it is. It's so rare now. I say how I think it is, but I'm just joking. Everybody relax. But I don't know how it is. Nobody knows how it is. I just got hired into a fire. Although that last cop, he kind of knew how it was. I got hired onto a fire department, took a year of applying to every

fucking department possible, and I'm beyond excited to get out there and put that wet stuff on the red stuff. Water on fire, lol. All right. I thought you'd be dirty there. And was wondering if you had any advice how to deal with dicks that I, that think I can't do the job slash the normal rookie hazing. You just got to take it sweetheart. And this is, yeah, I can tell you what you got to do when they fucking trash you, you laugh. The worst thing you can do is get upset and show weakness because then they're just going to fucking be on you. They're going to be on you. If they come at you with any misogynistic shit, you just fucking roll with it. Don't listen to these fucking fruit cakes out there going live. You should complain to human

resource and then everybody's going to think you're a dick and no one's going to want to work with you. They just break in balls. Even though you don't have any, but you do have balls if you're becoming a firefighter. So I don't know how that works for you do that balls. They're pulled up in you, aren't they? They turn into ovaries. I never took a health class. I have no, I don't even, I'm a dad and I don't know how women's fucking, you know, my wife wants sex. They take it a jiffy loop. Thanks folks. I'll be here all week. All right. All right. I have zero idea how to handle someone hitting on me at work. Okay. Because normally guys are terrified of me and I'm engaged to an amazing man.

Just tell them to fuck off. Just tell them to fuck off. I can't tell them that why I can't tell them to go fuck themselves because then I get reprimanded for being rude to a superior officer. All right. So now tell them to go fuck themselves. Thanks from a fellow ginger. Well, you know, go fuck yourself is the most unimaginative way to tell somebody to go fuck themselves. Anytime I would just, anytime somebody started hitting on you, I would just really loud, oh my God, are you hitting on me again? And then look at the other guys in the fires. How many times do I got to shut this guy down? He's fucking relentless. Just, I would just do, I would just, I would shame them.

I would, every time you turn them down, I would do it loud enough for other people to hear. Oh my God, not even if I was fucking homeless in a tent and you had money for an apartment, would I bang you? I would, I would actually have a fucking sign. Just have like a fucking sign that says, I don't like you. And as he's hit on you, just hold it up. And then I would yell to you, you think he's got to get the message? You just humiliate them. Absolutely. They'll fucking laugh. And then that'll be it. That's, that's it. That's fucking it. Just say, Hey, these, these fucking fire engine red pubes are the one fire you're never going to hose down there, buddy.

I would just come at them like that. Just use fucking humor. All right. You know, I don't know. I guess guys like a woman in uniform too. Let me know how that works out. Give me an update. All right. Your fellow ginger. So I extra care on that one. Not saying I don't care about the other brunettes and the fucking jet black people fucking hair there, not jet black people, jet black people, people with jet black hair. There we go. Oh, geez. I almost had a controversy. When you said jet black people, were you talking about how would a liberal talk about a black person with extra dark skin?

How would they, what would be the woke way of saying that? Trying to blank here, what would be the, are you talking about glorious something blood? I don't know what the fuck they would, they would say something stupid while still being fucking, you know, terrified of someone like that moved into their neighborhood, not outwardly. They would do it by their actions, by immediately moving out of the neighborhood. Well, maybe they would handle one family, but the second the family came in, the second family came in, they would fucking leave while they reprimanded other people about their terms. All right. Single mother slash underrated. Dear Mr. Billy bread snatcher.

I'm a single mother raising this boy with no financial aid from nobody, from anybody. So you're supposed to say that I took advantage from a program from a program Omaha instituted in South Carolina, Obama, sorry, Omaha, Obama instituted in South Carolina that let us whores go to school for free with free childcare. I love this person for having a sense of humor about herself. So now I'm now a welder with a house and a car I bought out right there you go. That's fucking great. That is fucking great. Great to hear. Look at that. A politician came up with that. So they're not all bad underrated. You tubing shit to fix it yourself. I bought

a refurbished fridge from a shady guy and had to take the entire thing apart and put it back together in order to fix a leak as well as do the plumbing for the ice water thingy. You did that. How fucking great did you feel about yourself? Now I know everything about my fridge. Same thing for my 07 MDX. What is that a Mazda? I don't want to MDX this. I don't know any cars are anymore. They all look the same. So I don't care to even know. Yeah, I look like a soccer mom cunt. But thanks to YouTube, I can fix cars so long as it ain't electrical. Well, you could probably learn how to do that too. And it's even better that you look like a soccer mom cunt because nobody likes a sleeper more than me. A station wagon that blows a fucking BMW M series off the line. I love

that. That's fucking great. That makes you even cooler. Anyways, it's a lost art in this world of call your guy or just throw it out. And regardless of gender or financial circumstances, we should all take the time to know the mechanics of the things we bought. Jesus Christ. That fucking statement, that entire email by the cop. And then that first one. But for now, we need people to recognize what's right, even if it comes out of the mouth of someone you don't like. I mean, come on, people, I'm going to go out on a limb here and think for the first time. And the difference in clouds. Jesus, I think this podcast is turning the corner. I think I need a fucking jingle. I think somebody's got to make me another fucking jingle. I got to

sing something. I don't have another melody because I can't get the other one out of my fucking head. When we actually learned things here, you know, I learned I talked way too fucking long and I got to do David Spade's new show. I'm taping that so that I think that'll air later on tonight. I believe I'll be taping that today. So did I say taping another time? That's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves. And I will check in on you on Thursday.