Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 9-30-24

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

Bill rambles about red flags, the Oakland Athletics, and responses to 'ew ick' girl. Gametime:  Take the guesswork out of buying concert tickets with Gametime. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code BURR for $20 off your first purchase.  Terms apply. Lands End:  See why thousands of brands count on Lands’ End Outfitters. Go to business.LandsEnd.com/BURR and use promo code BURR for 20% off your order. SimpliSafe:  Protect your home with 50% off a new SimpliSafe system, plus a free indoor security camera, when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring at www.SIMPLISAFE.com/BURR 

Hey, what's going on man? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, September 30th, 2024. 2024. Oh, Billy Flu Bug, no more. I can take big inhales and I can exhale and I am not coughing. I am no longer contagious. My apologies to the two old people I killed inadvertently down at the diner. You know, when you're an old school guy like me, I'm not even old school. At some point you're not old school. You're just old, right? You're just a fucking old man. That's what I am. Um, and you do old people's shit.

Like you go to a diner, you get some bacon and eggs. I can't have the toast. Right? You buy a newspaper, you sit there and you read it and you shake your head. You strike up a conversation with the person next to you. All right? That's called being an old person. Now, the Geico people try to make it, that's a Geico dad. It's not. It's not. It's called being fucking old. There's a fine line between being old and being, I think, being a dad. I think being a Geico dad is you're more sort of positive and all of a sudden you feel like you need to be everybody's

life coach. And then after you fuck up your own family and after all your blood, sweat and tears, she leaves you anyways and your kids resent you. Then you become the fucking bitter old man. Yeah, my day, you wouldn't get away with that for two shakes of a lamp sale. Right? I think I was born that way. I went right to being a fucking grumpy old man. Um, anyway, yeah, just always, always looking at the group rather than

participating or being in the group. You know, what's wrong, Bill? What were you afraid of? Why, why couldn't you join the Cubs? God, thank God I didn't join the Cubs. Scouts. It seemed cool. You know, tying knots, starting fires without matches. I mean, who didn't like to start a fire as a kid? That's, you know, something, that's what really went away with the internet and the iPads and all that. Like all of these fucking people talking about how these fat fucking kids,

because they're eating the poisoned food. We've got fat kids in this country, people. That's the future of this country. It's gonna be a generation of fucking obese people. They're the ones that are gonna have to protect the borders. You know, you look around the world everybody else is eating fucking food. Alright, I don't know what we're eating, but we are becoming a bunch of fucking beanbags. You know what we're gonna have to do?

When somebody attacks us, we're just gonna have to use that weight. We're just gonna have to lean on them. You know, like you ever see when a fat fighter, a heavyweight level is fighting a guy's a little more cut, what does he do? Ties him up and he leans on him and he leans on him and he tries to drag him into the later rounds and just wear the guy out, just laying those quarter pounders with cheese, the pie, all the mood, all of that shit, just fucking leaning on them. That's what we're gonna have to end up doing. But anyway The fuck was I talking about? Yeah before

You know when I was a kid kids were in shape and they went outside and they started fires See, that's not that's what people don't bring up. Well, we rode our bikes and we did. Yeah, we had slingshots and we put people's fucking eyes out and we lit shit on fire. I mean, one time I lit the woods on fire. Thank God this guy was close by. Just playing with matches is what it was called. And I made a pile of pine cones, pine needles, you know, cleared out a little area around it and I'm right underneath the tree and it got so out of control, so fucking fast that I had to kind of run away from it. I still remember this guy, Mr. Lynn Gell was his name way, way back in the day. He fucking put it out and then came back over with like a fucking, he brought a trash can,

back when he had trash cans, not the plastic ones, and he filled it up with water and dumped it all over it. Like he was very, very thorough. And then I remember another time, this other kid burned down the woods to the point the fire department had to come down there and then he the kid who did it went down to the fire house is like I think I know who did it and then like who is and and he blamed my brother. But I think the firehouse people they saw through it because they never came to our house. He was so fucking freaked out.

And I remember we knew it was him because his dad had these things we used to call them monkey matches. For some reason in the early 70s, men of a certain age thought monkeys playing poker and wearing fucking hats and passing cards with their feet underneath the table was just fucking hilarious. Like my dad had a bunch of those pictures. They never went up. My mother was like, I think, I don't know. I don't know what the fight was, but like he, he bought them and they never got

hung up. They went right up into the attic and they were fucking up there. So anyways, he had these monkey matches. So they, they, the pictures that people used to buy, they put them on the, on, on the cover of, uh, these little matchbooks, monkey matches. Cause I think the guy smokes cigars. I don't remember what, why do, what I do remember was he got a company car every two years and he got the new

fucking Lincoln continental. And that's why growing up, I think I became a Ford Mercury Lincoln guy because I always thought that guy years and he got the new fucking Lincoln Continental. And that's why growing up, I think I became a Ford Mercury Lincoln guy because I always thought that guy was cool as shit. He had like a fucking crew cut. And I remember this kid was throwing rocks at this other kid's head. Oh, it was his son's head. That's right. And he hit him in the head. And the dude with the Lincoln Continental, that was his son. He was across the way working on his boat, right?

He was one of those fucking guys and he came fucking running across the street looking like Dick Butkus with that fucking haircut, running in his bare feet and fucking chased the kid all the way down the hill and caught him. I don't know what he did. I don't know what he did to him. They disappeared down the fucking hill, but he definitely, uh, the very least made him piss his pants. And this is what, this is what they don't talk about when they're talking about all these inactive fat fucking kids is they would be outside doing mean shit

and just like vandalizing shit. That's what we used to do. Go around and just fucking destroy somebody's mailbox. You take fucking, I remember taking all these apples one time. They were all rotten apples. We had an apple fight and then we were fucking bored and it was just this car across the street so I had to throw one inside the car right. It just kept escalating. We stuck them up the tailpipe. I always wondered what happened when they drove away because we stuck like three in the fucking tailpipe. And then what's hilarious is we went right across the street and climbed up a tree and

it was the fall. And there was like no leaves in the tree. And we thought we were hiding, you know, behind the little skinny branches were standing up there The person came out and they saw this older guys like I see over there in that tree God damn it. Look what you did. We were just up there not saying anything just like looking at him That's what people did when there wasn't internet You fucking threw rocks in people's pools. You lit the woods on fire. You vandalized mailbox. You fucked with people's cars. I don't know.

Am I arguing for technology? I have no idea. I'm not doing what I'm what I'm arguing for is to fucking people from my generation to tell a more accurate story of what we did. We got we played baseball and football. We rode our bikes. We did all of that shit. We also, we also did a lot of bad shit. People, I don't know what the point is. I'm just happy that I've talked for almost nine minutes and I haven't coughed yet.

I had a great time with my wife yesterday. Fucking making just laugh her ass off. Just had one of those days. She's my favorite person. I had a great time with my wife yesterday fucking making just laugh her ass off. Just had one of those days. She's my favorite person in the world to make laugh. And I was going off on smash burgers. How I fucking can't. I'm over smash burgers.

And I made her laugh so hard about those fucking things. She actually got up and left the room, which is my favorite thing in the world. I don't even really remember what the fuck I was saying. Just so awful. thing. She actually got up and left the room, which is my favorite thing in the world. I don't even really remember what the fuck I was saying. Just so awful. There's no meat on him. Something like it looks like somebody put it in their back pocket and took the bus home. And you know, where's my brother? Oh, here it is. And they just take it out. Something like that. I was like acting it out. I can't, I can't, I don't remember what I said, of course. And she was just fucking dying laughing. And I was just fucking dying, laughing. And I just remember being present in this moment, in the moment being like,

how awesome is it that I'm married to her? Oh, my God. Can you imagine being married to somebody with fucking no sense of humor? And just every fucking day, you know? And it's going to start to feel like, you know, if you're not laughing, like it just it just starts to feel like you're at work. You know. You're at like a job you can't quit.

And that's the truth, too, especially once you have kids, you can't you can never fully quit the fucking job like that show severance oh my god I'm hooked on that show and that shows annoying the shit out of me every time I think that they've reached the level of that they the highest level that they're gonna creep me out they take it to another level I literally watched that show going oh fuck you fuck you why did you add that element? Got up to episode seven and the sinister woman who no one can remember when they get out of fucking work because they have no memory but she knows who the fuck she is. That's what's weird. She knows who the fuck she is

So she must not be severance. I don't understand it. I don't get any of this shit All I know is she was out there fucking holding their baby And and and she's like what is she gonna do they have no fucking idea They have no fucking idea that they're letting the devil in the goddamn house. Oh this is perfect now I have the hiccups. Do you know what I get rid of the hiccups? I just exhale for as long as I can. And then they just go away. See that?

People think that someone needs to come up and scare the shit out of you. You know? I love when they, you know, they go scare you, you know, and they still do like, boo, hurrah! It's like I'm an adult. Just come up to me and be like, someone stole your identity. You're bankrupt. That's what you do cause

shortness of breath somebody just hit your car you know that type of shit boo anyway I had a fucking great day I had a day today like it was fucking Father's Day I didn't watch any football I I'm taping some games, you know Fucking Patriots are getting killed is 20 to 3 at the half. Oh my god Holy Jesus Christ This was my day me and Dean went out and I took that new Harley that I bought And we rode up into the canyons. It's Sunday, right? When I'm recording this. So there was like nobody drove past like two fucking cars

and just went up into this canyon and it was, oh, it was fucking amazing. I still can't believe I own that bike. I just fucking, I just stare at it. It's the 2024 Road Glide in black with Harley Davidson written in red on the side. The CVO, the best one they make. And it is the coolest fucking thing that I just, just sitting there on its kick kickstand I just stare at the fucking thing so but whatever ninety nine percent of the time just gonna be riding around the airport which is just fucking fun as hell anyway I've definitely had some you know learning moments on the thing for better or for worse, but you know, comes with it. Right. And so I rode with Dean and, uh, just had a great time. You know, Dean's the fucking best, right. And then he took off and, uh, then I went, I, uh,

flew a helicopter, you know, just, there was all these TFRs, man. I think Kamala or somebody's out here trying to raise money. It was like football games and like politicians trying to raise money or something. So there's all these no fly things. It wasn't Biden. When Biden comes like the whole fucking area, like you can't fly anywhere. But when the vice president comes, it's, it's, it's all right. Right. So I just flew out to the West, went out to Santa Paula,

and then I flew up to Ojai, and came back around to like Magic Mountain, flew up the grapevine a little bit, just all like that type of stuff. I landed at Santa Paula, just so much fucking fun. And then I came back and here I am. And that was my day. Did not watch one second of football, taping a few games or whatever. There's two Monday night games tomorrow,

you know, and, uh, my kiddos are at their, uh, their Nana's and we're meeting them for dinner here in about an hour. And then I get to hang with them for the rest of night. It's just like fucking perfect But anyway, Oh Billy's back at the gym. I'm doing my old man workout do it with me if you're an old fuck It was always three sets of ten There's three sets of ten and that data data and all that shit. I Just because I was coming out of the flu. I just said, what about two sets of 10? What about that? All right. I'm not trying to build up fucking muscle. I'm just trying to maintain. How about I do, uh, you know,

a nice stretch and then I do two sets of everything. And then I do a nice long stretch afterwards. And I gotta tell you, I feel like a million bucks. And then also, I can get through my workout in about a half hour, as opposed to the whole thing being, you know, like 45 minutes or whatever. That's that, that other 15 minutes is a big deal to me. So, um, I'm back to doing that. Not going to lie to you.

I came out of the fucking flu kind kinda eating like shit a little bit, but I'm gonna get back on the horse here. And what else? Ah, Christ, I just fucking spaced. What the hell was I gonna tell you guys? I don't know. Who the hell knows? All I know is I got Tacoma!

I got Tacoma coming up this week and I'm gonna be I'm down the improv tonight It's a buddy of mine is doing like a benefit for like the his hockey team, you know hockey stuff is super fucking expensive I remember that growing up like you'd have like hockey families, like that was the way to do it. They had like four kids. So it was funny. Like the fucking oldest kid got all the new shit and then it was just handing it down.

And then by the time like the fucking, the littlest kid, right? The youngest boy was playing. He still had like the fucking leather skates with the steel blades and everybody had moved on to like the Bowers and the CCM's from the fucking eighties and you're out there looking like fucking Bobby Clark. He's wearing all this old fucking sweaty shit. Yeah, super fucking expensive sport. So it's such a fun benefit to go do because I love that sport, which is starting up here in the next few weeks.

We shall see my beloved Bruins every year, every year I've watched them every fucking year since about 1980. How crazy is that? I've watched them for 44 fucking years. One Stanley Cup, 44 years. We gotta get another one, man. I'm hoping we're gonna get a tough guy out there to protect our goal scorers. I feel like we got enough finesse out there, but a little teeth there, you know, you know what I'm saying? If I was, if I was the guy doing it, uh,

still off the coffee, still off the cigarettes, the cigarettes, the cigar. Sorry, never smoked a cigarette in my life. Um, off the cigars. Oh Billy, clean living, fucking walking around straight edge you know what I'm doing I'm judging you guys hey man why can't you be like me man I'm kidding I'm not doing that at all I did uh I did this fucking douche. Fucking wouldn't let me in when I was coming back, like just aggressive driving, bad fucking driver, right? And I'm like, all right, you know, not going to let this guy bother me.

And then I looked at his fucking license plate. His license plate said, I'm you. And I was like, Oh, Oh my God. That's, that's amazing. Is there anything better than a toxic spiritual person? It's fucking amazing because they actually, they think they're like good people. There was a clip of somebody I saw recently. Like I, you know,

when they talk about college education and how they don't teach you about money, one of the things that they should teach you about is red flags, um, early in a fucking relationship. So you don't, you know, you don't waste any time. You don't go through all of this fucking shit that you then going to have to unpack later. Like if I was, uh, you know, every once in a while I go back to Emerson and I get to talk to, uh,

the kids there. It's one of my favorite things to do. I think I'm going to bring that up next time. Just bring up like narcissists and just toxic fucking people and like if you ever went to a job interview right and like if the boss is going you know we're really like I gotta tell you right now though okay you know I'm difficult to work with just full disclosure I'm gonna be hard on you blah blah blah blah. What he's saying is is he's a fucking asshole Now that's the type of shit when I was in my 20s if somebody said that to me I would be like, alright, I need to rise to the occasion and try and please this person

Then that's what they always say, but you know, but if you do the right job I'm going to be the best guy you ever fucking work with. So they just excused all of their toxic fucking behavior. They're basically, they just gave themselves license to be a fucking asshole to you. And but you know, if you do exactly what they say, they're going to be the greatest person that you ever worked for. So now they got the carrot dangling out there. So you can sit there chasing after this fucking pot of gold

that just does not exist. And they're going to go in and they're just going to fucking wear you out. And I'm telling you, men, women, and I'm sure some fucking theys. In fact, I think a lot of people who are transitioning is because they were so fucking toxic as a man or a woman that they now need to literally change their fucking identity. I think a lot of people who are transitioning is because they were so fucking toxic as a

man or a woman that they now need to like literally change their fucking identity to run from their past crimes. You know? I mean, the Nazis used to go to Brazil because the technology didn't exist. But now, although you never know what the fucking Nazis, they were already making meth. You know, those Nazi doctors got a little fucking sideways to put it mildly I'm sure they were working on some shit like that probably fucking German porn is so fucking weird who has the weirdest

porn Germans they always get shit for it. I will say a lot of the Asian shit, there's not a lot of consent. Probably the least consensual porn. Unless it's like American made, then it's just fucking regular. Like hey, what's up? And then they just fucking bang Anyway You know I'm sitting there talking like I actually ever watched like some fucking scat shit

No, it's the only scatch shit meaning shit porn that I ever watched and I don't mean shit bad porn I mean literally shit porn was that two girls one cup it was the only one I ever saw and that was the most disgusting fucking thing I had ever seen and I had ever seen I feel like Donald Trump right now and I have English professor friends of mine you don't have any friends that are English professors just some of my friends at NASA it's like dude you're in real estate just stop it um my dad used to do that shit he used to his thing to cover his bullshit. No matter what he said He would always just Christ I had a patient in the other day and they always worked in the exact field You know, whatever the fuck he was talking about, you know, he could be explaining to you. Like I don't know what He was always like get it out in front of his fucking skis. It was hilarious

Just talking, you know, and then you would question him and be like, you know, I don't think that's right. Well, you tell Christ, I had a patient in the other day. They worked for NASA and they were building a rocket and this is it. It's exactly what it... And he just would end up flying off the fucking handle. Fucking lunatic. God bless him. And now you know why I'm so fucked up why I have my fucking issues there you go it's hereditary it's not even because

of shit that happened I just think it's how we're fucking wired anyway once again I cannot recommend the penguin with Colin Farrell high enough. You know, I watched it with Nia and I was really tired so I missed about five minutes of it and fell asleep so I went back and I watched it again. It is fucking fantastic and they gave him a really cool ride. Spoiler alert, I'm going to tell you what his car is. All right, he's got a purple Maserati with gold rims and like gold door handles and all of that.

And you know, I know a lot of you guys who are into like Batman and Robin and shit, they're like, Oh, because the penguin likes purple and stuff like that. Yeah, it is a little bit of that. But it's also like, he comes from nothing. So it's sort of that new money thing, you know, where new money wants people, they want, you know, they want other people to know that you have, you know, when you don't have money, you feel embarrassed your whole fucking life. So when you get money, you want to make sure people know you have fucking money.

How do you do that? You buy a purple Maserati with fucking gold rims. That's how that's done. Anyways, let me do, let me, let me,. Anyways, let me do the reads for the week here. Alright, what do we got? Oh, look who it is. Haven't coughed yet. Still have a frog in my throat though. Oh, look who it is. Game time. Talk about how much you love going to concerts and events. You know, if it's the right concert and it's the right event. I love it

I don't like going to fucking NFL football when somebody goes and that's another first Screaming like a microphone in the back of his fucking throat Pumping crowd noise in and all of these fucking jerk- running out on the fucking court, shooting shit to the crowd. And they're holding the t-shirt up with their eyebrows up like, Oh, who, who wants it? Shove it up your ass. All right. I'm not into that stuff. However, David Gilmore at the Hollywood bowl, there is no pain. You are receiving.eding I'm gonna go see that shit events car shows I like stuff like that yeah I like going to shit like that gun shows does

game time have gun shows and teaking don't kidding game time has a new feature called game time picks that makes getting tickets for concert and events even easier. College football I like going to. I'm going to Michigan, Washington this weekend. Coming up. Here we go. Game Time Picks filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats so

you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets like on some of those other goddamn sites. Ticket manager. Um, cheeky. Um, stuff up. Priority game time picks. Curation makes it easier to save more on sports, concerts, comedy, theater, etc. All in pricing. Toggling this feature.

Toggling. This picture is somebody playing with your balls. theater etc all in pricing toggling this feature toggling this picture somebody playing with your balls toggling this feature shows the total upfront with no surprise fees at checkout seat views get a panoramic view from your seat in the app before you buy the lowest price guaranteed or game time will credit you a hundred and ten percent of the difference game time. We'll credit you 110% of the difference. Game time, ticket coverage. Your purchase is covered with the most flexible customer service policy in the ticketing industry.

Take the guesswork out of buying concert tickets with game time. Download the game time app, create an account and use the code BURR, B-U-R-R for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply, again, create an account and use the code burr burr for $20 off your first purchase terms apply again create an account and redeem code spell out burr burr for $20 off download game time today what time is it it's game time oh look who it is everybody

this is one of our news people lands and know, if you want to energize your brand, Lands End Outfitters will partner with you to provide clothing that unites your team and makes your brand stand out. Wait a minute, just everybody wears the same clothes like at Wendy's? Do they still do that? Remember they still have those striped fucking hats? Great quality apparel featuring your logo and colors. All designed by the expert outfitters at Lanz &s. And with decades of outfitting, expertise, Lanz & Outfitters provides a seamless solution so you can focus on your business. That's such a fucking long name. Lanz & Outfitters.

For more than 30 years, some of the world's top brands have relied on Lanz & Outfitters. It's like forgetting your fucking keys upstairs saying this name. Provides a seamless solution so you can focus on your business. For more than 30 years, some of the world's top brands have relied on LANDS and Outfitters to outfit thousands of employees. The branding experts at LANDS and Outfitters,

we know who you are, help you showcase your brand the way it's meant to be. Seeing, sorry, great email, chat, and phone support from expert outfitters willing to go above and beyond. Every business is treated like a VIP, whether you have five employees of 500. Set up an online store where employees can order the apparel they need without worrying about inventory. See why thousands of brands count on Lands' Ends Outfitters. Go to business.landsanz.com slash burr

and use the promo code burr for 20% off your order. That's business.com, lanzanz.com slash burr, promo code burr for 20% off your order. Oh, look who it is. Simply safe. Isn't that what we all wanna be? Have you ever felt a sense of unease when you leave your home?

Wondering if everything will be safe while you're away? I know I have. It's a fucking creepy way to start an ad, huh? That's why I needed a security system and I knew my family deserved the best. After some extensive research, I found Simply Safe. I did extensive research I found simply safe. I didn't extensive research. You're fucking reached out to me. I use your product and it's great. Extensive research. I've never done extensive research on anything.

I've loved having simply safe protect my home for years now. And the security and service have exceeded all expectation with fast protect monitoring and live guard protection. Simply safe agents can act within five seconds of receiving your alarm and can even see and speak to intruders to stop them in their tracks. Hey, get away from that. You'll never be locked into a long-term contract so you can cancel anytime. Pricing is transparent and affordable at less than a dollar a day with no hidden fees.

Simply Safe has been named best home security system by US News and World Report for five years running and offers the best customer service and home security according to Newsweek. It's easy to install and activate your Simply Safe system in less than an hour or choose professional installation. Have a pro do it for you. Protect your home with 50% off a new Simply Safe system plus a free indoor security camera when

you sign up for fast protect monitoring. Just visit simply safe dot com slash burr that simply safe dot com slash burr P L I S A F E all right now we're getting into the questions answer the question the question jerk that you guys have oh man we'll start with the sad one we are starting oh I going to look this up too, we're starting RIP Oakland A's. Now here's the thing about the Oakland A's. Before they were the Oakland A's, they were the Kansas City A's. And before they were the Kansas City A's, they were the Philadelphia A's. So this is their third city. They're now moving to Sacramento temporarily before moving to Las Vegas, I believe.

And that would give them one, two, three, four, five cities that they've been in. And I think that that would leapfrog them past the Sacramento Kings, who before the Sacramento Kings were the Kansas City Kings. And then I think they were the Cincinnati Royals and then the Rochester Royals. So they've been in four different places. There's a number of teams that have been in three places. Not a lot. But only the Sacramento Kings had been in four places

as far as I know. Correct me if I'm wrong. All right? Like the the New Jersey Devils, before they were the New Jersey Devils, they were the Colorado Rockies and before they were the Colorado Rockies, a lot of people don't know this. They were the Kansas city scouts. So they're on their third, they're on their third one. For some reason there's still the New Jersey devils, even though they play in Brooklyn. They play in Britain. No, they don't play in Brooklyn. They have their own arena. That's right. Um, who else has moved three times?

It's a lot of West coast teams that sort of gradually move their way across. Here's a weird one for you. The original Washington Senators, they moved away and became the Minnesota Twins. I believe it was the Twins. And then the very next year they got awarded a new franchise in DC called the Senators. They didn't last but a couple years and then they moved and became the Texas Rangers or it's vice versa. The first one became the Rangers and the second one became the twins. I'm not sure.

I'm trying to think if I know any other team that has moved three times. Oh my God, the fucking Rams, the Los Angeles Rams, then moved to Anaheim with the Anaheim Rams. Then they became the St. Louis Rams. And then they moved back and became the Los Angeles Rams. Now if you count Los Angeles to Anaheim, I don't know about that. That's like Boston to Worcester. I don't know. You're going to count that. That's technically four. And then you have the Arizona Cardinals who were the St. Louis Cardinals. And before that were the Chicago Cardinals. Why do I know all this shit? Because this is what I studied. This is what I

researched. Instead of fucking studying in high school and going to some amazing school that has an incredible football program. So instead I have to bandwagon with LSU and Michigan and shit like that. Pretend like I studied in high school. I'm trying to think any other hockey teams that have moved that much. In high school, I'm trying to think any other hockey teams that have moved that much. The Quebec Nordiques are now the Colorado Avalanche. The Calgary Flames were the Atlanta Flames. Everybody else is the same there. The Kings have always been the kings.

Oh, the California Golden Seals became the Cleveland Barons and then they fucking shit the bed and they were gone. The Minnesota North Stars became the Dallas Stars. The Montreal Expos became the fucking Washington Nationals. Cleveland Browns became the Ravens. Then they got another bronze. You know what I feel like right now? We're doing the beginning of Reservoir Dogs and that guy was running his mouth.

Toby One, Baba Bet, Charlie fucking Chan. What am I talking about? Let's get to this person's question here. Right here. The Oakland A's, they played their last game. I mean what a fucking franchise. Absolutely amazing. They were so good in the 70s that the Yankees just bought two or three of their guys and won back-to-back world series. That's how great that team was.

They were the team in the 70s. They had a dynasty. They won three in a row. 72, 73, 74. They were the team of the 70s. They had a dynasty. They won three in a row 72 73 74 All right, rest in peace the Oakland A's And they said the best fun they better not fuck with those uniforms either Hey Bill, I just want to say that some sports are awesome But a far cry from having the backbone that it used to have. I just don't think you should be able to own a team unless you can prove you love the sport and the team.

Yeah, like the Pittsburgh Pirates owners. Admittedly attendance has been down and that doesn't help nor hurt the cause. It just gives the owner an excuse. Well, they're also like weren't trying to win. They were also like, it's a bad economy. That's like fucking bullshit to blame the fans The fan base has been there, but how long can you can just can you keep fucking them? You know While all these tech nerds are swallowing up entire businesses for themselves

And getting rid of jobs and positions that are never going to come back and people are fucking unemployed and then you're not even going to field a decent team like people are cutting costs they're not going to show up. This person says it just gives the owner an excuse but the reason the attendance is down is because everyone has been thinking the team's going away for a long time which makes it hard to put your heart into following the team. That's true. Also, I find it infuriating that the MLB has allowed 5% of ownership of a team to be sold off to an equity group, which is just a private group that manages people's investments and

retirements. They use that capital to enrich themselves at whatever cost. Yeah, I'm surprised the MLB did that. That seems like you're going after short money. And in the long term, if private equity starts buying up sports teams, that's going to be the end of teams. As far as like owners wanting to win and that, it'll just start running it like a fucking Walmart. Like how can we cut costs? And then eventually they'll be developing AI athletes. You may also have heard that Red Lobster is being gutted by one of these groups. They buy a company, sell off the real estate to people who will indefinitely jack up the rent and bankrupt each location. They short sell the company's stock the whole way down because they orchestrated the fall and know what's about to happen. Yeah, like how come no one's stepping in with stuff like that?

Like that can't be legal. I just feel like everybody's like asleep at the wheel and like politicians now can, you know, the fucking Supreme Court said it's okay for them to accept bribes they're called gratuities like what are we doing here I've never been to a Red Lobster but I know they employ a lot of people anyway thanks for the lab sincerely Oakland A's lifelong fan yeah what do you do if you're an Oakland A's lifelong fan? Do you? I don't know.

Oh, the Raiders. The Raiders went from Oakland to LA, back to Oakland, and then to Vegas. They've moved three times. Four times. One, two, three times. Yeah. I don't know, I think Oakland is such a cool city, and I think everybody that lives there, generally speaking, is fucking cool. It has its own vibe.

And all of a sudden, it's like the Raiders are gone, the A's are gone, the Warriors play in San Francisco. Now granted, at one point they were the San Francisco Warriors when... ...when Wilt Chamberlain played for them. Why do I know all that? So fucking stupid. Anyway, my condolences. You know, as ugly and as fucked up as that stadium was, I always had this theory as to why the Oakland A's had so many Cy Young award-winning pitchers or contenders.

And aside from obviously they knew what they were doing when they were scouting players, but the amount of foul territory that the ball is still playable. Like, you know, if you pitch in that stadium, I know, I know both sides, you know, the other side is pitching that stadium too, but like, if you're pitching like half your fucking games and beyond the foul line, you know, where Fenway park, you'd be 20 rows into the seats and have no play on it. And your third baseman can just flip the shades down and catch it.

And you get that guy out. I always felt like that. That was good for a couple outs per per start. I might be wrong. All right. Seeing red. This person is seeing red. Seeing ginger.

Seeing red. Dear, dear Beluga belly Bill. Fuck you dude, I'm in shape. Don't fucking come at me like that. Fairly long time listener here. Listening to you reply to that girl last week who has, who asked about her ick regarding her boyfriend wanting to become a landlord didn't sit well with me. You yourself have on several occasions have lambasted the act of buying up extra housing, seeing how it drives up the price of all housing and makes it less available to people who actually need to live in.

No, I was talking about, I'm not talking about an individual who wants to start buying rental properties. I'm talking about a, there's this corporation out there that's acting like they're three corporations and they're buying up all of the fucking houses. Like, and they're gonna do to owning a house what Clear Channel did to radio. That's what I'm talking about. I never talked about a fucking individual doing that.

So if I didn't make myself clear, that's what I'm talking about. I understand that you meant that in the context of large corporations. Okay, so you heard me. However, you should not hate the player but hate the game. Oh shit! That's fucking deep. What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? Don't hate the player, hate the game. So if you're dealing drugs, like I shouldn't be upset that you're putting drugs into the neighborhood, because that's the game, so you're just excused from your behavior, that's fucking... First of all, don't hate the player, hate the game is not an original thought.

Okay, you're speaking in soundbites. And the game of hoarding basic resources of survival for profit at the expense of your neighbors in need is a game worth hating. All right, so like what side are you on here? She was completely correct that landlords do not add value to society They degrade it and it's a shitty dream To lord over she's not completely right. You're speaking in absolutes here You want to hear landlords talk about their fucking nightmare clients? Their nightmare fucking rental people I had I've had fucking salt of the earth landlords

and then I dealt with like corporations where I never even got my fucking My my my deposit back and had people in the building steal from my fucking apartment. They did nothing from it Yeah, you're speaking in fucking absolutes All right for someone to own a rental property first of all you rent until you can afford to buy So they are providing a service now as long as they're not like a fucking slumlord someone to own a rental property, first of all, you rent until you can afford to buy. So they are providing a service. Now as long as they're not like a fucking slumlord and refusing to fix stuff and being a cheap cunt, then there's nothing wrong with what they're doing.

Anyway, to lord over others and extract wealth from them like that. You're trying to excuse it by saying that most renters treat the property like shit and it's... So let me ask you, so what are you supposed to do? Just be gifted a property? Is that what you're saying? I don't understand, like, why... I think because most of you guys rent and So you're in like this victim fucking? Mentality, I don't know. I rented for a long fucking time. I got absolutely fucked and then I had a few sweethearts, so I

Don't know anyway. Let's go. Let's move on you're trying to excuse it. I'm not trying to do anything I gave you my fucking opinion. I hate when people present their opinion and then they, the way they start redefining what you said. I wasn't trying to excuse it. I don't think being a landlord needs to be excused. I don't think there's anything wrong with an individual owning a couple of rental properties and if they keep them up nice, you know know and treat the people that rent them there fairly and rent it for a fair

price I don't think there's anything wrong with providing that fucking service I don't think there's anything wrong with it but anyways evidently I'm trying to excuse it by saying that most renters treat the property like shit that is true most renters do treat property like shit. That is true. Most renters do treat property like shit. Most people rent a car and they feel it's an excuse to beat the fuck out of it. Anyway, and it's difficult to manage the properties and yada yada is bullshit at the end of the day.

It's not, you know what you sound like? Someone who never rented anything to anybody. It's passive income through the exploitation and it's a shitty dream to have. Oh God, fucking spare me. It makes me question if you're serious about retiring and become a slumlord. Oh is it really making you question that? Do you have to get this fucking dramatic? Because that doesn't deserve support. According to who? You? I love the fucking shit that people focus on. You're going to focus on an individual with one or two fucking rental properties, and meanwhile, the entire fucking food supply has been turned into poison.

Politicians can be bribed. They can fucking insider trade. We get involved in these never ending fucking wars for profit for a small amount of people. They've completely bankrupted the country. There's no more fucking middle class. But some person with two properties is lording over people.

Buddy, you know something? I'm just going to give thanks that I am never going to fucking meet you. Because you should go fucking hang out with that chick where it gives her the ick. That was the male version of it. Oh my god. Ugh. How fucking ignorant was his opinion? It was just 100% all the one side. Okay? I'm not the brightest fucking guy, but at least I was saying there's some good landlords, some bad landlords, some good tenants, some bad tenants. Okay? And that's basically it. All

landlords fucking lording over people. I love how they're using that lording away. Is it because lord is in the word landlord? What about Walmart lording over every fucking small town in the fucking the middle of nowhere? Why don't you start with them instead of some fucking jerk off with two fucking two family houses? Lady listener and lady landlord writing another thing too is you can lose your fucking ass in real estate Okay, you can fucking lose your fucking ass You don't just fucking buy rental properties and just sit back and just rake in the fucking money. As a homeowner, I can tell you this.

Al Madrigal says it the best. He says owning a home is like painting the Golden Gate Bridge. If you know anything about that, the second they get done with it, they have to fucking start over again. It's just non-stop. Something breaking, something has to get fixed. I've owned this house for fucking I don't know how many years I've had to replace everything from the fucking main sewer line Out to the front the fucking air conditioning door locks the fucking roof the whole goddamn fucking thing

I feel like I rebuilt the whole fucking house and guess what more shit is happening So I don't know I think this is people who don't understand business and it's just their idea of what being a landlord is, is that you just sit back and put your feet up on it. It's like when people think you own a business, you own a business and then, oh, he just sits back and everybody else does the work. No, that's not what I'm when you own a fucking fucking business you never get a day off You have to be down there every fucking day because if you don't people aren't going to work because they don't give a fuck

People will steal from your fucking business because they don't give a fuck That's I will say that that is the big the biggest Thing that I've learned going through show business and all of that is that the way I viewed people who had their own TV show or were fucking selling tickets and blah blah blah blah blah. I just pictured them with their goddamn fucking feet up and it's like no, no. When you get to that level, you are going to have to work 10 times harder than where you are right now when you don to that level, you are gonna have to work ten times harder than where you

are right now when you don't have jack shit. You're gonna have ten times more fucking responsibility and the whole fucking time you're working your ass off to not fall all the way back down the other side of the mountain. You got your head on a swivel to try to watch to make sure people don't fucking steal from you and they still fucking do. I don't know. Whatever. I'll forgive both of those people. I'll just say you're young and you haven't lived enough life.

Yes, that was passive aggressively condescending. Lady Landlord, dear Broadway Bill, Lady Listener and Lady Landlord writing in response to that ill-informed, unrealistic, idealistic, other lady listener that's against all forms of being a landlord. Must be nice, she said. You sound really fucking comfortable providing living for yourself and whoever else you have to provide for. Talking about the working class folks. Do you have any idea how the working class folks fight the ruling class it's called ownership. You know how I was able to get a place when I was a broke single mother and caring for my father? A lady landlord that owned two multifamily houses that never ran my credit or verified my income and rented to me below the market rate. See? You see

that? There's decent people out there. She never increased my rent once in over five years, and it allowed me to save up to buy my own multi-family home, which would most likely be owned by a BlackRock or other bloodsucking private equity fund if I hadn't come along and bought it with my hard-earned money. It honestly sounds like you haven't ever had to pay rent. And if you ever did, most likely had someone in your life guarantee it for you. As an immoral landlord, I have to be able to take calls at any hour to fill my tenants' needs and unclogged too many toilets for things like action

figures and kitty litter being flushed down. I've had to learn how to completely refinish and reseal bathtubs because tenants have completely neglected cleaning to where mold is growing through throughout the grout. I've had tenants give me every excuse for not paying their rent and then deliver weed to their house. I've had tenants that argue constantly even on Christmas morning and I just have to mind my business. Being a landlord, however, has given me the ability to provide a stable home to my son and dad. It's by no means a lazy way of life because the margins are so thin you have to learn how to maintain and repair a house on your own not to mention the huge risk and liability that comes with home ownership. Mind you I still work a full-time job in

a hospital quote contributing to society. What are you doing to help contribute to the housing shortage sweetheart? Until you start organizing home co-ops for hardworking people, you should just get off your high horse judging your practical boyfriend. Bill, looking forward to Glen Gary, Glen Ross, and the Spring. Go fuck yourself. There you go. There's another opinion. I guarantee you the ick lady and the guy you're excusing those people like the people like that cannot

hear somebody else's fucking opinion. Um, what you guys probably think I'm guilty of. Okay. I heard their opinions. I just don't fucking agree with them that all landlords are evil and all tenants are salt of the earth fucking people. Um,lord hate. Hey Billy Booger Blaster.

This is in response to the lady who hates landlords. It all boils down to the classic punching up versus punching down mentality. Landlords are assumed to be wealthy and have power over tenants. Therefore they are perceived to be inherently evil. It is socially acceptable to speak negatively about them, AKA punching up. Tenants are assumed to be poor while having no power. Therefore, they are all perceived to be inherently good.

It is socially unacceptable to speak negatively of them, AKA punching down. Anyone who adopts this ignorant black and white mindset is an idiot who lacks the basic understanding of human nature and economics. They are usually idealistic and believe that if a landlord if landlords didn't exist then everyone would own a home. This couldn't be further from reality. Yeah especially with what bankers do, print money with nothing behind it and just continuing to create inflation. Because not everyone wants to be or is able to afford being a homeowner.

If you cannot afford the upkeep of a house, then you are absolutely fucked. The only alternative solution would be to have homeowners and government housing where the government is the only landlord. We can all guess how effective and efficient that would be. Take care and thanks for everything. Well there you go. Alright, this is, I knew this was gonna fucking start a shitstorm here. Flyover states. No such thing in my world. Hey Bill, I live in one of those overlooked states in a town with really smart, caring people in a community that interacts and knows each other. Listen, dude,

I think those flyover states are going to become very desirable as the population continues to grow a vast, a vastly different experience. I had growing up in a city where people use the word community and act like they care, but have no connection to anyone outside of their block. Yeah, if you're lucky. Yeah, that is, you know, there's a lot of cool things about living in a city, but you definitely don't know your neighbor. I appreciate you being one of the few people to constantly defend us and not other us as

mindless pigs. No, I don't think people in, there's mindless pigs in fly over states, but there's also mindless pigs where I live This good there's good and bad people everywhere. It's good and bad landlords. Just good and bad tenants Sit Anyways, here's a clip of a famous photographer who has spent her life Photographing rich people and celebrities dismissing Everyone who doesn't live in her bourgeoisie world Now wasn't the bourgeoisie the middle class isn't that the French word for the middle class?

No doubt in my mind She crossed the street if she saw me coming All right, well I can't open this because I have to be offline when I record so people don't call my phone and shut off the podcast. I'm gonna do that when I get off the phone here. Alright, girlfriend doesn't like me listening to your podcast. I've never been popular with the ladies. Dear Billy Big Mouth, hello, I'm from England. I love doing a bad English accent.

We don't fucking talk like, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit You don't do a good American accent, okay? Although you all think you do. All right, we all do a Bastardized version or whatever the fuck you sound like I'm a huge fan of yours and listen to your podcast in bed to help me sleep at night God, we should listen to my act. You'll be fucking sleep for three days. You're a tiny bit angrier than me. That makes me feel good.

People usually say I'm way angrier and much funnier. So it's the perfect combination after a long day in my cubicle to bring my brain down from the ledge for another day. My girlfriend has just moved in with me and wants to sleep in silence. It's causing a rift in our relationship. She thinks, and I quote, someone shouting about how bad women are isn't conducive to a good night's sleep.

I mean, you can't really argue with that. I'm agreeing with your girlfriend here, dude. If she can hear... Can you get some headphones where she can't hear me yelling? English isn't her first language, she's Greek. She's probably a hottie. Greek women are gorgeous. So I'm pretty sure she only hears the swear words.

I really love this woman, but I have ADHD and sleeping in silence is never going to work for me. So please can you give me some advice on what to say to her or compromise or compromise we can make so that we can both get the piece we need to drift off to slumberland. Thanks and go fuck yourself. P.S. She works in sales. So we're coming to New York to see you and Glengarry Glen Ross. She doesn't know you're in it. Oh God.

Yeah dude you can't listen to my podcast Me screaming and yelling like a fucking idiot. That's not fair to her. And dude, you gotta choose some chick from Greek, from Greek, from Greece that you love over my dumb podcast. So I would, there's gotta be some sort of like noise maker you can get, or maybe you can listen to some like meditation. I think my podcast is feeding your ADHD

rather than helping it. I think you need to turn your brain off. So I would go with, you know, they have like, you can go on YouTube, they'll have like two hours straight of like meditation music and you can just listen to that and fall asleep. But I would definitely choose your relationship and her over

Over my dumb podcast and I cannot tell you this. This is something that I have learned. It's taken me a long time That when you're in a relationship and somebody loves you how important that is and how important it is for you to listen to them and for them to listen to you too. And you have to understand that they're agreeing to share the one life that they have with you. So you shouldn't be doing anything on purpose that is affecting the quality of their life. You should have their back, you should listen to them, whatever. So she's telling you that this bothers her. You got to respect that. Just listen to my podcast when you're on the tube or driving to work in one of those three-cylinder cars you have over there in fucking Europe. Europe makes the worst goddamn car. I'm kidding.

I'm joking. I would do that. Okay? And I'm gonna tell you this, if you want a fucking happy life, just say to her, you know what? You're right. I'm sorry. All right? I'm just gonna listen to meditation music instead. Is that okay? And you know, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, like so many women date assholes and if they finally get with somebody that actually listens to them and acknowledges what they're feeling the same way as a guy, if you can meet a woman that does that, it's fucking amazing and it puts them in a really good mood and your life is going to be fucking easy. All right? Or you can keep listening to my podcast, pissing her off and fucking up this great thing you have. It's up to you. It's up to you. Alright. That's

it. That's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves and I will check in on you on Thursday. you