Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast with Steve Brill

Episode Date: May 1, 2014

Bill sits down with the director of Walk of Shame, starring Bill Burr.

Now at Proximus, the perfect deals, with a 1 plus 11 for 0 euro at a mobile subscription. 0 euro? That doesn't make sense. I don't want that either. Amai, do you feel my heart beat? Oh, that's a good ringtone for that new 1 plus 11 for 0 euro. Information and information at proximus.be Proximus, think possible. Bill Burr and it's time for not a Monday morning podcast, a very special Monday morning podcast. Some of you who listen to this show every week, you know, every

once in a while, I'll have a good friend come on and we'll bullshit, no commercials, no nothing. And this time. I'm a good friend. You are the good friend. I love it. I like to think that where we became, we had a set relationship. We did. That was supposed to then evolve into some sort of dinner.

Yeah, we never had the dinner. Yeah. No. Yeah, I'm still holding out. I'm still holding out hope, staring out the window. Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Brill. We have here, Steve Brill, the director of a movie that I was fortunate enough to have a very small part in coming out this weekend, May 2.

Walk of Shame starring Elizabeth Banks. Yes. And James Marsden, who people probably saw in Anchorman 2. How are you? I'm good. Welcome to the program. You don't have a small part in it though. There are no small parts.

There's only small actors, is that what they say? No. Insecure performer. Which you are not. There's only people cut out of the movie. There are those. You know, I cut my grandmother out. I swear to God.

No. Well, you weren't there, but my wife's grandmother, who's 90 years old, I put her in at the very end. It was a very cool touching thing to do. And she's a performer and she'd never been in a movie. So you acted like her dream was going to come true. We did. And it was like Queen for a day.

And she was really into it. And I haven't told her she's cut out in the movie. Oh, no. Friday. How are you going to do it? Well, she was 90. So I was like... But...

So... Maybe God will hook me up. No, absolutely not. But part of me was like, this isn't the most pressing thing. And then all of a sudden it's coming out and she doesn't know. Oh, because you have to go through the whole, all the promotion things and edit it down and run it in front of her. Yeah.

No, it's been cut for a while. I have not. I should have told her. And then my wife went up there. She lives in Marin County. And I told my wife to tell her and my wife chickened out. So she doesn't know. I got to call her.

But didn't you kind of chicken out? You kind of ponded off on her. I totally ponded off on her. But it's... Yeah, it's something I got to deal with. That's my life. What are you going to do? You think you're going to actually...

You're just going to let the chips fall where they may? I could because she sort of lives in her own world up there. She's a dance instructor on a hilltop. It's not going to play up there. But she might have a friend who go, I saw the movie and where were you? What if you just deny it? No, you were in there. I could do that.

You were in there. I could do that. Oh my God. Dude, I can literally see the stress on your face about this. You know, it's happened a lot. And often you do movies and you cut parts that people love. And you tell them and sometimes you cut entire performances. And it's the director.

No one else should do it. The director should man up and do it. And I tend to do it. But in this case, I haven't done it. What's the worst... And I have to... I'm sorry. Thank you for having me.

You are cut from the movie. By the way, you are completely cut from the movie. This is like a safe way to do it. This is like breaking up with somebody public like in a restaurant. What are you going to do? There's a guy here. You're not coming across the table. What's the...

I don't want you... If you don't want to name names. What? What's the worst situation that you've had where you had to cut an entire performance? The worst reaction? Or maybe the first time he had to do it? Like how long did it take you to get the balls up to just call him up and be like, Hey, remember that dream he had?

Remember how I told you how well you were doing in the movie and you're really making this movie and how it's going to do stuff for your career? Well... Yeah. Oh my God. See, I'm trying to think of a very particular incident. It happens all the time. It's happened to me as an actor too.

And many actors he'll talk to will go through the experience of showing up to the premiere almost or sitting around the TV with their family and going, Okay, here I come. Here I come. And then they skip the part of the narrative where they're supposed to be and it's like the worst experience. And I've been to a premiere where I was cut out and the director didn't tell me. It was a small part. And I vowed never to do that.

Of course, now I'm doing it with my grandmother. But I can't remember... She lives in the woods. I have cut great scenes from people that I thought that we just couldn't keep in the movie and they were really out about that. And it's a great scene. They've done a great job. The film's too long.

The pacing. Yeah. What is it? Yeah, it's emotional scenes generally in a comedy. I'll usually put a few emotional scenes in that might not have enough jokes or even any jokes. There's a movie I did called Late Last Night, which is a movie I wrote. And it starred Emilio Estevez and Steven Weber and it was all about two guys at night.

It wasn't just similar from this movie, Walk of Shame. It was two guys at one night, L.A., losing their minds. And they had this one critical scene where they sat and they really talked it out about three quarters of the way through the movie. And one guy talked about sort of where all those problems come from. And there was a mention of a girlfriend dying of AIDS. And there was a whole monologue story. But it was a long tracking shot through a sand in the bunker.

They were in a golf course at night. It was sort of telling everything I thought I wanted to write the movie about, which is often a mistake, is when you have people talk about it. And well performed, Emilio cried. And we were all like so proud of ourselves afterwards. And then we just started, I cut it into the movie and it was just like, OK, here comes that scene, everybody. Oh, the test audience didn't like it.

Test audiences, anybody who saw it was like, OK, well played. But it actually sticks out as being a little, not pretentious but unnecessary and overstating the themes of the movie, obviously. Did you fight for the scene? No, I was the only one. It was my movie. I didn't have a lot of pressure on me. So I cut it myself and then told them.

It was an actor's moment. And certainly when you send the script, a lot of actors get very attracted to certain scenes and movies. I don't know if you get that and you're like, that's why I'm doing this movie. I haven't done a lot of movies. I get attracted to the fact that I'm actually in one. That you're in one? That there's a plane ticket for you?

Yeah, just happy to be there. I'm going to New Orleans. Yeah, I'll fly myself there. Absolutely. Well, as it moves along, you'll read a script and you'll be like, oh, that moment, that's a good one. And then often, sometimes you don't even shoot that moment or it gets co-opted or a director will go, oh, that line, I think the other guy should say that.

And then you'll take that one. That happens a lot. Like just certain moments or beats get switched sometimes and you just have to roll with it, just like being cut. And since I feel I've been cut and I sort of live in the reality, I've been at the business a long time. So I'm pretty pragmatic about Hollywood and that's, I don't even tell my parents until jobs are almost shooting, you know, because things fall apart so much out here.

That's why I don't say shit until I started promoting this movie like two weeks ago. And even then, I'm still thinking like, well, I'm trying to think, I was trying to think of a way that you could cut me out and I came up with three different ways that you could do it. So I was just like going, I don't want to be that guy because, you know, I already get trashed enough on Twitter, just me trying to read out loud and stuff. I give them plenty of material on my own. The last thing I need to do is say that I'm in a movie that I'm not in.

Let me ask you this because I've always wanted this. If the actor gets cut out, can he still get the footage for his reel? That often happens and I like to say yes and then I'm never able to do it. So it's a double whammy because I'm like, well, because generally I don't own the footage and the studio will be like, why would you want, unless it's a pure outtake that often we can put the outtakes on the DVD of a scene which happened. That saved us on a few, on a few incidents where, you know, we'd put the as extra scenes. So you'd always be able to put it on.

But often people would want their stuff and I wasn't allowed to release it. Dude, I know a guy who, he had like five scenes with Al Pacino in a movie. Well, yeah, what movie? I don't know the movie, but I saw the pain in his eyes that I knew was a real story. And he told everybody and they showed up. It was one of those stories he's telling me and I'm just like, oh my God, bail, bail. Take an exit. And he just, he rode the wave to the beach and they cut the entire storyline.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just when they want to go pick, put it, like, I don't know how you guys do, like, I have such fucking ADD, like, that's why Stand Up is perfect for me. It's like, oh, I have an idea and I talk about it for 90 seconds and I'm like, oh, look at that light that just came on. And then I go over there, like, I've tried to write scripts and it goes well to about page 30 and it starts spinning out of control and I go into denial. And I'll get to about page 50 and I'm just like, yeah, this is just, it's like a giant pizza dough

that just spits out of control and I'm just like, ah, fuck it. And it's a virtual wall you hit and you back back away from it. And then Jesus shows up and he kills everybody except for the hero and the end. Page 60. Yeah, not a script. Yeah, it's so capricious. Is that the word? The movie business things are.

You know, I was going to say, you were, weren't you? It was right on the tip of my tongue. But I like to let my, I like to let my guest speak. Yes, it's so capricious. The, yeah, I stories, I've been around a lot of actors too and there is a story. I'll tell the story because no one knows the story. It's so crazy about what can happen to you as an actor. Is this the actors podcast, by the way?

No, no, believe me, if people are not into this so far, we're going to talk about the movie and then we'll get on to sports because you got. Oh, we'll go to sports. Yeah, I would say out of all the directors in Hollywood, you have the best throwing arm. Oh, thank you. Dude, it was insane. Remember that day we were throwing the football around? Yeah.

We were doing something and had a helicopter or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That tall seed. Yeah. And you're like, I'm going to throw it. You know, and you know, no offense, but you know, you're sitting there in your director's chair with your beret on. I'm like, this guy can't throw a ball.

This guy's throwing it all over. That was a yarmulke, Bill. That was a beret. Yeah, thanks. I'm new to Hollywood. Yeah, of course it's a yarmulke. Was it a pink one, too, for breast cancer? And how many levels did I have to send people?

It was a pink yarmulke. I can't believe a beret. Is it bad that I call it a little hat? No, no, I mean, that's what it is. Yeah. Yamakai, I forget what I call it. Yamakai. Yamakai?

Yamakai. It's great if you're balding. Yeah, it's, yeah. Although you run out of places to clip it onto, don't you? They do, I don't tape it. I don't know. I got I got nothing on Yamakai's. I mean, I.

All right, well, tell us about this movie. It comes out. It comes out May 2nd, which is this Friday. Yeah, this Friday. OK, so this movie comes out on, it's this new thing they do with movies where you can actually buy it on iTunes, too. The same day it comes out. Did you know that?

No, I didn't. Yeah. VOD day and date. So I think that's really smart because people basically have movie theaters in their homes now with a surround sound. That is what's happened. And there's certain movies have caught the idea that. Dude, that's a phenomenal idea because you don't have to deal with people talking.

And if they are talking, you're the man of the house. You tell them to shut the fuck up. Yeah, you don't have to worry about getting your job broken. Right. And if you watch it alone, you can. Yeah, Schizophrenia takes off. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, so it comes out.

It gives you the option of seeing it in theaters if you like the theater experience. And then. I love the theater. The sticky floors. Yeah, you can go. But look, I mean, you got to ask yourself, why are movies getting so big and crazy? And why is it all special effects? And then 3D and all.

3D it is because they have got to get people away from their 60 inches, which is really what it is. Now, you can buy a 60 inch TV for three grand or something, a great one. And people are not going to leave their house and go through the whole thing, unless it's, you know, they don't think they can get that experience. So to that end, movies like. Walk of Shame. Walk of Shame.

3D. Is not in 3D. Damn it. It has cinematic touches that you really want to, you know, appreciate in the cinema. But seeing it at home is not a bad way to do it either. So but you have the choice. It comes out May 2nd in theaters and VOD. And it's a new model.

I had a I had such a great time on that. I got to work with Eaton Suple, who I never met before. People might know him from what was that American History Acts. American History Acts. The white man marches on. He's saying that song. Yeah, yeah. I should sing that to my black friends when they didn't pick up their phone in the 90s.

I would sing that to their their answer machines. Yeah, Supley, who was my name is Earl. Yeah, my name is Earl. My name is and he was just in Wolf of Wall Street. We saw him in the Wall Street. He was great. Yeah, he's the best. I think he's like he's not underrated.

People know who he is and stuff, but I think he's the funniest. I used him in this movie called Without a Paddle like 10 years ago. We went to New Zealand and I hung out with him for months there. And he was just the best and the funniest. Oh, he told me that great scene where he he didn't want to point the gun at somebody. You guys had this epic. He's screaming match at each other in some forest in the middle of New Zealand. That's true.

He's also very peculiar as actors can be, even though he's very sort of straightforward, he's the dealer. He decided his character. That's what he says. His character had changed through. He is a bad guy. He thought his character had gone through an arc where he had actually internally changed his feelings towards the guy who was chasing and had ambivalence

about shooting him so he wouldn't point the gun at him at the end. He literally wouldn't raise the gun up. He had to tip down sort of at his crotch. And I was like, gun up, gun up. I thought he was just being lazy and goes, I can't man. I go, what are you talking about? You got to train your weapon on these guys. And you're in you're like in the bush in the middle of the woods in New Zealand,

where you can only access my health after Bert Reynolds is there. It's it's a crazy surreal scene. And he's decided his character has gone through some sort of character arc where he's nonviolent to the point of like, you know, would let him run away. And that was not in the script and that was not intended. And he but if you do see the movie, he won because he just would not tip his weapon up and I gave up on him. Yeah, he said you edited in a completely different gun.

Oh my God, that's true. Yeah, which is the directors. That's right. I remember looking at it and I see it as a game. So I was like, OK, buddy, you want to do that? Oh, yeah. So I think I got like a commando or some Schwarzenegger movie and found a close up of a gun that matched his gun and stood a close up of it,

being cocked and loaded and then to close up of his face. So it looked like he was ready to kill these people. But what I loved about that story is it seemed like you guys argued so bad and then you guys were total friends on the set. So I looked at it like like when Tom Brady yells at his offensive coordinator and then the end of the game, you're like, you know, you're still friends in that. Yeah, yeah.

I think that's I do operate on an aggressive sort of let's work it out. How did you do this this year? I remember when we were filming that the Super Bowl was going on while we were shooting. Yeah, you had some, you know, you'll throw a little money down. I will. Yeah. I lost that Super Bowl. I know that I had Baltimore. Right. I had nine.

Oh, no, a second half. Oh, this I had the Ravens. I actually picked the Ravens last year. How'd you do this year? Overall, yeah, a loser. I mean, I know who says they win is a liar. Well, honest gambler. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I was overall a loser in in football. What was the Super Bowl? Seattle. Oh, yeah, I had Broncos. Who's going to bet against Payton? Me. I mean, yeah, I want to know as a gambler, of course. As a as a as a I don't know why did you hate you hate Payton? No, I just felt that Seattle had that kind of defense. Yeah, that pisses him off.

Yeah, that where he gets frustrated, right? Where they're really physical with his receivers. Basically, the whole thing that caused him and Jim Mercer to make that tape against the Patriots, right? I know a bunch of cold fans are rolling their eyes, but that's what the fuck happened. So I felt like if they stopped him enough early on, he would get frustrated.

But none of that even happened. No, just snapped the ball over his head. I know the wheels fell off all over the place. So I don't put like that loss, you know, on him. It was just like I just think the first play went so bad. And then the pressure of the game because Seattle wasn't that much better than the Broncos. I definitely think that they were the better team that day.

But that was remember the 80s when there was just like three Super Bowls in a row where it was just an absolute blowout. Yeah, where it was just it started as a game and then one team got up Broncos over San Diego. I mean, Niners over San Diego would. Yeah, that that run in there. That's 90.

No, I was talking more like I would say Cincinnati. No, Raiders destroying the Redskins. Forty Niners came back in Stoffels and Bears destroying the Patriots. Yeah. Giants destroying the Broncos. Redskins destroying the Broncos. Then the 49ers Bengals was a good one. Right. And then then you went into the Buffalo years.

It was just really like. Buffalo is terrible. And they got good. Yeah, it was kind of like, yeah, it was while there was really like Globetrotters, Washington Generals for like almost like a decade. Yeah, I remember like players from other sports, what somebody big in another sports was like,

like, why would you even watch it? It's like a blowout every year. Yeah, it was. And it was like literally eight of the 10 years. It was like 44 to 10, 56 to three until I think the first one was the St. Louis, where he tackled among the two Tennessee St. Louis. The Mike's fight.

Yeah, started a run. Sorry. Is that the game where London Fletcher got him on the two? Yeah, that was 99. And then that started a run where all of a sudden the Super Bowl was awesome. Yeah, 2000 Ravens dominated the Giants. And then all the Patriots ones were close.

And then the fucking best was was Broncos Packers. That was I was at that one. That was great. That was down to San Diego, right? Yeah, I was in San Diego. I remember thinking about going to that game and I was watching the game. And when Elway dove head first and helicoptered around

and said to my friend, I said, if they win this game, that is in every highlight reel of Super Bowls. And when they do the John Elway, that was the greatest. I was right there for that. I was literally right there second row from the top of the stadium. I was literally like so far away. That shit hole stadium.

I actually like that stadium. What is a dump? I guess. I mean, yeah, it is. It is, right? I've seen a lot. I used to work. How many Super Bowls have you been to?

Let's go there. I've only been to. I went to one of the Patriots. Patriots is doing for 80 fucking. No, and it's Bloodsoul. New Orleans, New Orleans. You're right. What you just said was exactly what I was going to say.

It was fucking Bloodsoul lost because that fucking asshole pastel said, fucking sold his house, that baby. Yeah, you want me to eat the fucking dinner, you cooked a meal, you got to let me buy the groceries. That was one of the most self-centered fucking things. It's like, all right, you don't get along with the owner, so you fuck the whole team? Yep, I know, right?

And he was a good enough coach and had a good enough team, where we were in it until, I think it was, first half we were still in it, despite that bullshit. Then there was the return that Michigan kid ran it back. And I always had end zone seats. And he was running right at us. And then the next one that I went to was, I went to when we beat the Rams.

Yeah. Yep, and when they kicked the field goal, I was on the opposite, and they kicked it the other way. That's the kind of hookup I have. I have upper deck end zone seats. But I went to them, and I ended up, when we went, played the next Super Bowl after that, which I, wow, where the fuck did we play after that?

It was either the Eagles or, no, it was the Panthers. The Super Bowl, the Panthers. And I had an opportunity to go, but then I got called in to do the Chappelle show. World Series of Dice for fans of the show. That was taped the day before Super Bowl Sunday or the day after. I couldn't make it.

And I remember being upset that I wasn't able to go, but it's like, because I got acting work. And then the second the game was over, even though we won, the fact that I still had two grand in my pocket that didn't have to go to the airport is just like, you know what? That's kind of cool. And it's never going to be better

than watching the Patriots win their first one ever, being that big of an underdog. So I haven't gone since. Plus, I do the road all the time. I'm always going to the fucking airport. It takes a lot. I'm an old man, man. Yeah, me too.

It takes a lot to get me out. Me too. I used to work at the Orange Bowl as a kid. I grew up in Miami, sort of. And I worked as a hot dog salesman at the Orange Bowl during the Dolphins. I would go to the Dolphins game the perfect season. I was there for that.

No way. 72. Yeah, I was like eight years old. But my my. Mercury Morris. Oh, yeah. Jim Kick, Larry Zonka, Larry Little, Jake Scott. Whoa.

Keep going. I named it offensive guard there. That is pretty good. Jake Scott. Nick Bonaconte, of course. Bonaconte. Who else? Paul Warfield?

Yes. Gary O. Your premium? Very impressive. Gary O. Gary. Bob Greci, of course. Phil Stanfield. The A4, remember? The defense?

I know the name, but uh. Stanfield, Bonaconte. I know all of that just from watching NFL films. Swift, Twilly, Marlin Briscoe. And the thing people forget, which I'm glad on some sort of form I get to bring up, is that I was there at the injury. It was a San Diego when Greci got knocked out. People forget.

Greci got knocked out in the third game of the season. And Earl Morrill took that all the way to the playoffs. And then Greci came in and closed the deal. And he always did. Earl Morrill gets remembered for Super Bowl III. Yeah. More than he does for, was that Super Bowl VI? That one?

Seven, eight. I don't know what number it was. I could actually sit there and Rain Man it and figure it out. I know. I could sit here. I remember. Green Bay, Jets, Chiefs, Colts, Cowboys, Miami Miami, seven or eight.

Wow. Very good. That's all I did. 14 to seven. Dolphins lost in 71. Should have been 14. Nothing. Because my pass ran back.

The Garry-Premian. There you go. Oh, God. So I grew up with that. And then I sold hot dogs there. And then I sold hot dogs at the Super Bowl in 78 there. That was my first one. And then, uh,

78, not Steelers Cowboys. Yeah, Steelers Cowboys. You were at that game? Of course, I was selling hot dogs. I was 14. That's the greatest Super Bowl ever. Oh, yeah, I was there. I was a Cowboys fan, but I was a Cowboys fan.

I was a football fan. And I was there selling hot dogs. And it was totally unregulated. What's that guy's name? Bless his heart. He's got to be the sickest man in the building. The guy's Jackie, the guy who dropped the ball. Oh, I don't know.

He played for the Cardinals. He had the surest hands in the business. And then he was so fucking wide open, he had time to think about it. Oh. And he threw it at him and he just dropped it. I was stoned selling hot dogs. We used to get there.

We used to get there. It was so unregulated. There was no is in such a bad part of town and they would let everyone in. And you'd have to buy your hot dogs. And I was 15 or something. I wasn't supposed to be working there. And we'd get stoned and just walk around selling hot dogs

and getting high. And then I remember I sold a hot dog to Edward Kennedy at that game. I thought that was the coolest thing. Teddy Kennedy. Ted Kennedy. Ted Kennedy was there. I remember I sold him a hot dog.

You were at Super Bowl 13. You was stoned. Yeah. You was selling hot dogs. And you sold one to one of the Kennedys. That's right. That's pretty cool, right? And you people aren't going to go see Walk of Shame this Friday?

Come on, man. What more do you need? I agree. That's the best. Yeah. So how did you end up playing catch with Dan Marino in New York City late at night? Oh, gosh.

Yeah. So Marino, I met through a golf tournament. Through Bobby Kennedy. Yeah, Bobby Kennedy. Sharjah and Shriver. And Situate, the Irish Riviera. Sharjah and Shriver. Remember that actor?

Remember that actor? Sorry. That's a horrible way to start, because he's still around. Still works. D.V. Sweeney. Remember D.V. Sweeney? I remember the name, yeah. OK, D.V. Sweeney.

I know athletes. I'm not going to go with that actor. Ephraim Zimbalist, Jr., of course. He was great. He was a kicker for the UF. No. Yeah. He was.

Anyway, I got to meet Danny down in Miami. He threw this tournament while he played. And we became friends. I don't know why. It made very little sense to me that we became friends. Because you're fucking hilarious. Oh, good. There it is.

And we played golf. We sold hot dogs at Super Bowl 13. And we sold hot dogs at Super Bowl 13. And I couldn't be a bigger Dolphins fan. I mean, Marino, I was definitely a fanboy. But he let it go, and we sort of became friends. And I would go down and play the tournament when we became friends.

And then he, oh yeah, he's in this movie, Little Nicky, I did. So we called him. Me and Sandler, who loved him, too, called him. How did he not love Dan Marino? No, no, he's the best. I kind of think he's the best. Yeah, you love him. Yeah, I got to hook you guys up.

Dude, he had nobody. He had nobody. And God blessed Don Shula, but I feel like everybody had caught up to him. And he was, I just, you know, the guy had no fucking running game. You ever look at his running backs during the tournament? No.

By the way, I have to admit one horrible thing. Delvin Williams, Tony Nathan, Tony Abdul-Jabbar. It was one-headed monster. Literally, yeah. Is that who it was? Yeah, you guys had like basketball player names. Oh my god. Robert Parish.

Kevin Mikhail. The, it's so horrible to admit, but I have to be honest, because that's what this is all about, right? No, I shouldn't lie. No, no, it's Hollywood. I'm a big phony, dude. I should be completely phony. I had you on here for me.

Oh, good. That's nothing to do with it. I just wanted to say how great I was in the movie. Yeah, you were really good. But the, this is terrible that I went to college and I wore a beret metaphorically and maybe even real right in the middle of Marino's heyday. I was in college and I wasn't a total like sports

or stupid guy, but part of me, I don't know what happened. You were BU. I was a BU. Oh, yeah. And I was a film guy and I lived 100 yards from Fenway Park and I never went. You never did. I was into football.

I mean, I was into film and foreign movies and I was such a, what word could I say? Douche. I was a douche. You were. Yeah, you were a young man. I was young, but I was an athlete growing up and something changed.

Did you smoke the cigarette? I smoked a tan. I talked. I used my hands when I talked. I was, I cared about movies and I was in the middle of Boston in 1984 and I didn't go and then I got out of college and I came back. But in Marino, I was aware of and I watched them.

I liked them in college too. I was aware of them then and that whole draft. Did you see that documentary on the draft? Yeah. So good. I just watched it again the other day. That's great. You know what I saw today?

That the one that drove me up the wall, they did a 30 for 30 on the Detroit Pistons. Oh yeah, yeah, the bad boys. It was, it's so fucking funny watching that. Like, I mean, obviously take all this with a grain of salt because I am a Celtics fan. But like, just, it's just a bunch of old men talking shit. It's just, I find, I find like, blame beer.

I find people who actually did shit on those 30s for 30s at very reserved, like a Bobby Yorke, Larry Bird, other Boston guys. I'm sorry, just naming other, like, even like Jordan, you don't hear, even though he is a shit talker, you don't hear him like, these guys were just like, the funniest thing was with filthy players, talk about like what they do, how the way they frame it.

They're like, you know, I always tried to get like, you know, I was going to win the mental game. I was going to win. And then they like cut to lambir, like throwing an elbow in somebody's face as they're in the air coming down the lead. It's just like, and lambir kept going, you know, somebody had the way the black hat, you know, somebody had the way, it's like, no, you really didn't.

You didn't, you could have gone out there and just played the game and see if you could win, win playing the game. And the enforcer mentality. Yeah, and Isaiah was doing like, you know, when they were called thugs, Isaiah was kind of going, you know, when people, I mean, he has these long pauses, you know, you know, use stereotype against you.

You can choose to either fight it or embrace it. It's like, dude, there's no stereotype there. That's what you guys were doing. You were beating the shit out of people. You took basically the flyers. Yeah, yeah, the broad street. Yeah, basically, yeah, we can't beat you. So we're just going to beat the shit out of you.

And then we're going to call it act like we're playing chess. I know. Dude, you just broke my nose. I'm in your head, man. I'm in your head. I really think when some said fucking team up, and I'm not talking about Rick and Horne, because that guy was seriously, I would not,

I mean, obviously I wouldn't fuck with anyone. That guy like was the real deal. But the rest of them, dude, when they want, when they find them, when the bulls beat them, and they didn't shake their hands, they just came off like a bunch of punks. Oh, yeah, yeah. They were punky.

That was terrible. And people will talk about... Not Finney Johnson. We'll talk about Belichick walking off at the end of the Super Bowl when we were undefeated and then we weren't. That was also the same thing. That was embarrassing as a Patriots fan to watch.

That was terrible. Be a fucking man, walk across. They beat you. Hey, congratulations, you were better. Then you walk away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you do. But I don't know.

That reminded me of the University of Miami one. Oh, that was brutal. Where they're just going like, the whole country was afraid of us. I was like, dude, I was in a professional football city. I don't even remember. I remember hearing you guys were doing things, but I wasn't sitting by my phone shivering.

I know. It's a football team. Oh, God, yeah. So I totally just went off on a rant. So we were talking about you and Dan Marino. No, that's funny, the enforcers. How they'll say it's a mental game. Just trying to get a mental edge.

It's like, oh, really? So Bob Probert and McStorley had that little mental edge where they were just like, you had to stick over that. No, but Probert. Probert was good. That's not the right one. Yeah, he's the wrong guy. Did Probert die, by the way?

Yeah. Yeah, so they all died. One time, I know we can tell sports stories, and I got to remember all the names. I played in this hockey tournament, because I wrote those Mighty Ducks movies. I don't know who you played. I played.

Yeah. Well, I created that hockey team. If you cut me out, I'll get the mental edge or you'll go out on the ice. I am dirty. My favorite player is Kenny Linsman. So don't fuck with me. I'll fucking hook you in ways you didn't even know

you could be hooked in. But that guy, I don't consider, was like a dirty player. That's awesome that you think that he was so dirty. Chippy dirty. Chippy dirty. There's Chippy dirty. And then there's Linsman, yeah. But then there's Blow Your Knee Out and Your Career

Concussion Game. Yeah, what was that, really? Matt Cook, as he calls it, finishing his checks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or fucking Hunter. Oh, Dale Hunter. Jesus Christ. That guy should have gone out on the ice with a sickle.

That guy was literally like a sociopath. And when he would do shit, what was the scariest thing about him is when you looked at him, when he was in the penalty box, what was it? An ounce of remorse? No, no. But the comfort that I take with a lot of those guys, because they have that, look, I did

what I had to do with that Bill Romanowski kind of thing. And all you do is you're just like, thank god, they're not working in a corporation that has some stuff that they need to get rid of. Because those guys, with their hockey helmet on, would pour it into the drinking water. Of course. I'm going a little big here.

No, no. It's, yeah. It's like, I find it frightening. So anyways, you're in New York City with Dan Marino. It's about 4 o'clock in the morning. Somehow you have a football. Yeah, after a Knicks game, got to toss it around in the street. He had just retired and he wanted to chuck it.

He's the best guy because he's like, I want to throw. I want to chuck it. Or you don't say, just sling it. He just likes throwing. I love throwing, too. There's no better feeling. And yeah, after a Knicks game, just outside the region, the hotel and whatever on the Upper East Side,

took a 60, 64th Street or something like that. And there's nobody really on the streets and Dan Marino is out there. Just throwing balls that look like a punt. You're running underneath these things. Dress shoes and sneakers. Sneakers. But yeah, there's nothing like a pro athlete throwing ball.

It's just so different. I mean, I can throw a spiral and something, but it's like just that swoop. And then right in your hand, so great. Absolutely cutting through the air. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you've been out on the sideline and stuff. You see the difference.

I've sat close enough to the game. Look, dude, I'll go to like a Division III college football game and you can blow me away with my athletic capabilities. But I did something earlier this year for Inside the NFL at the Pro Bowl. Yeah, I saw that. Talking about my IMDb page here. But I know all the old guys.

I know all the young guys. Who's the amazing athlete from Des Bryant? I saw him, they were just basically doing some walkthrough practice. It's the Pro Bowl, so the guy was joking around stuff. And he was playing catch with somebody. And first of all, the guys like Fizik, I couldn't draw a guy in better shape.

He looked like a superhero. And they're throwing the ball to him. And he was kind of letting it almost go past him. And then he was just reaching out and catching it the way I would like a balloon that was floating very slowly. He was catching a three-quarter speed football. He would catch it. And then he did this thing that almost looked like a butterfly

knife where he would flip it around and it would be in the throwing position. It would go around the back of his hand, the back to his front of his hand. In the same motion, he was bringing it back and would zip it back to this little bold white guy coach who would, you saw the pain every time he caught. I know.

Des is catching. I just saw that. These guys, they have big hands. But that's one thing I must say. I go, they're great athletes and stuff. But when you have huge mitts and you shuck in these guys' hands, that helps. I don't have big hands.

I'm not saying I could have been a pro. I think it's the only thing that stopped you. I read your story. Well, I think this is what it was because my hand's like a little girl or a baby or something. That's why it could never be a heavyweight fighter. But yeah, my hands have totally kept me back in many ways. They're not huge.

At what age did they stop growing? They stopped growing when I stopped growing at about 20. But whatever. It makes a difference. I mean, hockey, too. You ever play like someone who has big hands. They hold the stick. You just don't feel and put.

I don't have the leverage that I only had. I was a big kid the first, right up until about fourth grade. I was supposed to be born June 10, 1968. I was born June 10, 19. I was like, no, I came out, dude. I was like a 10-pound baby. There's not one cute picture of me. Oh my god.

My head was the same size, giant white head. I look like I should have been walking through a little city just knocking shit down. I rode that baby fat till about fifth grade. Plus, I stayed back in first grade. So I had an extra year on people. Then around sixth grade, there was always that kid who caught puberty.

A couple of times where he all of a sudden guys are getting peach fuzz in the eighth grade. And I was a late bloomer. And then after that, I was like, I better stop being more funnier or not. So I was never a force to be reckoned with after fourth or fifth grade. Once the Nerf football was out of the game,

it's like when they took away the red line. I was just too slow for the whole fucking thing. Did you start skating at a young age? Was that your thing then? No, I actually didn't take the game up, like getting pads and actually really trying to get good at it until I moved out here. Oh, really?

Yeah, because you got to come up from a hockey family. You're going to get up at 4 in the morning at 4.30 AM ice time, cutting up orange slices and shit, whatever the fuck it is they do. And my family was Midwest people that moved. So they were more baseball football. Not even like basketball. They were just baseball football.

So you play hockey out here now? We had a great group of guys, like comics, that were playing. Oh, yeah. And I was the guy organizing the game. I got a little busy on the road and somebody else took it over. And you know what happened was a bunch of people heard about it. And at first, it started off as fucking like bad news bears. I was out there at a helmet club, skates, that's it.

And I was falling on the ice. Getting bruised so bad they weren't showing up for three days. I'd be in the shower and all of a sudden it looked like somebody caned the back of my fucking thigh. And so then I started like I bought all this stuff. And then everybody was all suited up. And what happened was all of a sudden these rink rats started showing up.

The game sped up. And everybody who sucked stopped coming saying it wasn't fun. Yeah, it's not. I was the only guy. I stuck it out. And I went from being upper level shitty to immediately the worst why are you even? I mean, I look literally like a fan that ran out on the ice.

Like that's how much slower I was. But I did learn to change direction pretty quickly. Because every time when I would finally catch up with everybody, we'd be going the other way. So I learned how to stop on both sides. I burned a lot of calories. That's the best. Well, there is nothing more fun than even if you're bad at hockey.

Because I played it as a kid and then moved out here in 86 or something. And then Gretzky got traded down here. And I became a hockey fan again because we would go to the games and hang out. We had nothing else to do. We'd go to the games. Then I remembered I used to skate as a kid. And I loved it.

And I lived in Culver City. And there was a skating rink literally a mile away. And I live with this. That's closing down. I know. I know that sucks. That was my place. I live with this guy, Pete Berg, this director actor I know.

And I lived together. And we used to go. You just did that Wahlberg movie, right? Yeah, Loan Survivor. Yeah, that was amazing. We were a loser, nothing to do. And we'd just go to the skating rink and skate around in circles all day because he was from New York and we used to play Peewee.

And it was like fucking, what's that movie where they skated around? Walked around in circles. Midnight Express. We were like, oh, that's how we spent our days. Like just going in a circle going, what are we doing in LA? And then kids would. It's like free air conditioning, too. That's also true.

I mean, it was the middle of the summer in Culver City, California. And no prospects, nothing. So we started skating again. And that inspired me to do Mighty Ducks doing that. Like seeing kids come in, like little fucking rink rats would come in. And I was like, I don't want to do any movie about kids hockey. I used to play kids hockey. And that's how that all started.

And so I got into hockey that way, then all those movies. And I got to fulfill every hockey dream in the world, you know, because the Mighty Ducks became a franchise of a hockey team that I named. And then I just took advantage of everything I got to play. Are you upset when they went from Ducks to Mighty Ducks? No, what do you mean? It was the other way around. I'm sorry.

It's one of the Mighty Ducks. The Ducks. Yeah. So I was somewhat upset. Yeah, I was a little upset because, uh, yeah, no, I liked. I actually, when they first named it Mighty Ducks, I thought that was stupid because I was a sports fan first, even though it was my name. I was like, I totally understood.

I go, really? That's the Mighty Ducks. I loved it as the franchise and the name. And I had to sue Disney for doing what they did. But when as a hockey purist and you had to sue him, yeah. And you sued Disney. Yeah, I did. Let's just go through your price here.

You were at Super Bowl 13 high selling hot dogs to Ted Kennedy. Yeah, yeah. You tipped me, which never happened a lot. By the way, I remember he gave me like $2 and it was a dollar for a hot dog. We're 75 cents. Come on, Irish. A tip was a big thing. Yeah, you know, of course.

Yeah, that was cool. So what else? Your resume. You played catch with Dan Morito. Yeah. And played hockey with, you know, everyone you can imagine, faced off against Gretzky. And you played, listen to this. You sued Disney.

You don't know that. Yeah, I did that, but listen to this. I played in the last game in the Boston Garden in a celebrity hockey match before they tore it down. It just happened to be like the last thing they did in the Boston Garden was a stupid celebrity hockey match with us against. No way against the old Bruins, like the alumni Bruins, which is a very active organization too, like the Flyers, the Bruins.

And so we sat in the Bruins locker room, me and the stupid celebrities. I'm barely a celebrity because of the hockey thing. I was able to suck up to it and become and I had Bobby Orr come in and give us a speech in the locker room. He was making fun of it, but he started giving us a speech about how we to go out there and fucking kick ass and everything. And he, he got into it. Everyone was drunk as shit.

And we went out and played against the Bruins alumni. Are you telling me that everyone was dying laughing like Bobby Orr was hilarious saying we got to win this period? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was the best. And I had a shootout against Reggie Lemelin at center ice with the place was packed to Boston Garden and I scored and I swear Reggie was trying. He stacked the pads on me. Okay, so that was it.

That was my favorite experience of all my yeah. Put that on a resume. Jesus Christ. There you go. Yeah, I could win an Academy Award. Well, not likely, but if I did, I have a forest gump like slash make a wish. Life, dude. That's amazing.

Yeah, it's fun to be able to do those things. Yeah, that's the best part. Yeah. Jesus, Steve. Yeah, I don't, I don't know where to go from here. Well, we don't have to go anywhere. I think that goes to theater or go home and watch Walker Shane. I think that's absolutely brilliant.

I hope more movies do that. Yeah, they are. Although I still love going to the movie theater and I know I'm a sentimental jackass, so it'll upset me because eventually, you know, I mean, I don't know whether. Oh, yeah, eventually, you know, that's going to be the way it's going to be done. What, no movies? I think that I know, I think to know that's like saying that everybody thought

like the LP vinyl was going to go away. Yeah, there'll be people. There'll always be hipsters and people like that. The sentimental fools like me that will still want to go to the movies. Yes. And then bitch about people talking and all that stuff. The movie theaters are evolving and will evolve into a, I think a cool, cooler experience.

They just will the seats and everything younger people. I mean, it was a great place to take when you didn't have a license to take a girl and be alone with her. Oh, yeah. Right. It was fucking awesome. People will never. Yeah, or the balconies they had.

You can't watch it now, you know, at your parents house. No. What am I basically saying? It's very hard to go to third base at your sister's house. They sister's house. Jesus Christ. Your girlfriend's house. Yeah.

Yeah, it's hard to go to third base in movie theaters too. Well, but we can't end on that. No, okay. We can't answer that. That's somebody complaining. All right. Anyways, listen, dude, I had such a good time, whether I'm in it or not. You're totally in it out or not, whether fucking hilarious, whether you were

metaphorically saying, you know, you're talking about your grandmother, but actually talking about me that I was cut out. I still had an awesome time and I got to, you know, got to meet some great people. I still every once in a while, I'll reach out to Ethan's fucking hilarious. So all your stuff's in there. I hope so. Yeah, whatever. What are you yelling at the kid?

Nothing funnier than Bill Burr yelling at a kid. Shut the fuck up. You know what? Right there. That's probably the biggest selling point to my listeners. Dude, so great to see you again. Let's eventually take the women out here and we'll go to dinner at some point. All right.

All right, that is the the the bonus episode of the Monday morning podcast. Thank you so much for listening and please check out Walk of Shame Friday, May 2nd at the theaters, or you can download it on iTunes. Yeah, that's it. All right, buddy. Thank you. Thank you. Bye.

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