Monday Morning Podcast - New York Interactions, The Blame Game, Traveling The World | Monday Morning Podcast 8-10-26

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

Bill rambles about New York interactions, the blame game, and traveling the world.SimpliSafe: Celebrate their anniversary with us and save 60% on your new SimpliSafe system at http://www.SimpliSafe.com/BURRMint Mobile: To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to http://www.MintMobile.com/BURRShipStation: Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at http://www.ShipStation.com with code BURRHims: To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, and more, visit http://www.Hims.com/BURR CashApp: Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/lcfm4iwf #CashAppPod.  Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card.  Savings provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday. August 10th, 2020. Six. Six. Um, getting sick of doing that. Oh, Bill, you've been doing it every week, you know, for the last eight months. Why, why, why, why would you stop?

Um, how are you? Sorry about no Thursday podcast. I'm sure you guys got over. Sorry, had a little bit of a little fucking showbiz gig. I went a little longer than I thought I was going. I was in New York City. New York, New York, I want to wake up living on top of 200 different units

and smell their food and hear their fights. Bad do. You don't get it, man. Man, you don't get it. You don't get it. As a New Yorkers always say, you don't get it. I live there. I get it. I'd like a parking spot. I'd like to fucking be able to, uh, you know,

walk outside to a yard. Anyway, um, I had a great time when I was. I love shitting on New York. It's just a fun. Somebody has to do it. You know, they're so busy fucking sucking their own dicks every once in a while. You just got to remind them. You got to remind them like, hey, you know, this is, uh, this is a, this is This is how you live in your 20s and your 30s. You don't have to do it into your 50s and 60s. Probably a lot less people move out of the city in their 50s and 60s now because of Ubers.

But back in the day, when you had to fight for a cab, I remember when I get in the late 30s just being like, I don't have this in me anymore. When it's raining out and you have your hand up and then some chick would just walk past you, you know, because it's a one-way street. So now she's in front of you. It's just like, oh my God, I was just, I, I, okay, I'm doing this for my whole fucking life. Then you got the guy in the corner selling the umbrella that was three bucks and now it's raining, so now it's 10 bucks.

And the first time is you buy it and then the first time is half a gust of wind, the full fucking thing falls apart. You feel like you're in one of those cartoons. You know, like the coyote where you fucking put the umbrella up to stop the rock. Anyway You wouldn't know I did have a great time When I was in New York And I did what I

My job that I had there And so the next day I had like a little bit of a free day And I went to this guitar store And I was just Of course they didn't have any lefties And of course I suck a guitar

But I still like looking at them right So I come out of the fucking place and dude it's broad daylight and i don't know where this woman came from she was just up on me and she had like her hand she had sweatpants on she was pulling on my pocket and she was like talking like like she was on in shutter island she's like i don't know what she's saying but like you know that all hit me at once so i like fucking slapped her hand away like a child you know you get distance you know slapped it away and I packed up like,

what are you doing? The fuck is wrong with you? And I was checking my pockets, backing up. Like, you don't fucking touch people like that. She's still going like, whatever the fuck she was saying. And then finally, there was enough distance. We know, crazy people.

They don't have, they can't see too far because they're like tripping, you know? So you stepped into their fucking matrix or something. So then she sees this other guy and she starts talking to him and he put both his hands. Whoa, she started grabbing on him. So, I don't know.

You know, your adrenaline's going. You're like, what the fuck? The fuck. And I got back into my hotel room. And I'm not going to lie to you. I was like shook up. Like, it really bothered me. I mean, she was crazy, whatever.

She didn't have like a weapon. But if like she, like, the fact that it was broad daylight and I was so walking on the guitar shop, like, wow, that was like really cool. Like no situational awareness. Like was just right up. If that was a dude and he wanted to stab me, that, boom, that happens. So, um, didn't like that. I was like, a little Billy back in the day used to fucking,

took a few of them self-defense classes. I think I need to go back. I'm out there like, I'm singing in the rain. This fucking lady. I don't know. It was sort of a crowded area, so maybe it was that. I have no fucking, I don't know where the fuck she came from, but it was broad daylight.

got so close two fingers pulled in my pocket I gave me the old dad fucking fucking skin fuck away what the fuck are you doing that's always that the Rubik's cube

of it's a woman like what do I do what if she comes at me front kick do you front kick the cleavage like what exactly happens there I don't know anyway

so I had my little New York moment and also Oh, fucking Billy, man. I'm obviously old as shit now. And like the amount of stuff I can't eat anymore, like chocolate gives me heartburn. I mean, I kind of stay away from desserts anyway, but like I'd gone out to dinner with my lovely wife.

And there was somebody there I knew. And as a joke, they told them that it was my birthday or something. So they brought over all these fucking desserts. And the waiter knew or whatever. They didn't give a shit. It was like the end of the night. so they were just all laughing so i didn't want to be rude so you know they brought over like it's one of those restaurants where the the the portions are small but the bill isn't you know one of those

restaurants so uh they brought over like four these little things so i sampled each one of them and um i've been doing that macha shit and i just got sick of it it's not like coffee we can just keep drinking it like you're a cop working a cold case file you know like matcha you can have like one and like that's it and i just kind of like i just got sick of it no you know i know what it was i went i kept going to this one place and their their macho was like really strong and it was kind of like fucking i don't know didn't sit right in my stomach so i just ordered a coffee then i got back on coffee so i did chocolate then i had the coffee and then later on that night i had lamb chops with balsamic vinaigrette so i had all that acidic shit and all of a sudden i was

I was Billy hiccups, right? And they wouldn't stop. And I had this one other time when I got into rehearsals with Glenn Gary. So this was the cure. I got to New York hiccuping the whole fucking way on and off. I just got a dry bagel, ate that, and had a banana. I just kept doing that.

That's all like I ate. just absorbed all of it and then I was good. I will tell what I learned is if you tell, if you tell somebody in a bagel shop that you want a plain bagel with nothing on it, they think that just means cream cheese only. And I found out that cream cheese on the acidic table was a four to a four and a half. Anything north of a seven, I think, is considered like full on. Yeah, I'm an idiot.

I'm sitting there trying, oh, I have some bread, and I ordered like a BLT, not realizing that tomatoes were acidic and it would just get it going again. It was just fucking dumb. And Tums did nothing. Did nothing, because I think at that point, it was like fucking acid reflux.

So old Billy had a couple, you know, I had a little moment there. You know, that's when I knew my acid reflux was away. When the Shutter Island chick grabbed my pockets and I fucking was like freaked out, my hiccups didn't. come back. So I was like, all right, there we go. There we go. It's all good. It's all good. So anyway, I ate at this diner, right? And they had like the newspaper. I fucking love that shit.

There's nothing better than having breakfast reading a newspaper, right? So they had the post, which I always felt had the best sports page. Worst front section and then best sports page. And then like back-to-back days, they, of course, had like the fucking funniest headlines. They're going off on that mayor. They call them the socialist mayor. It's so funny. Anytime any politician wants to actually do something for working people,

they're called a communist or a socialist. Like unregulated capitalism is fucking working for everybody. Communists and socialism. That's fucking terrible. Let's have one guy have a bunch of rockets and a trillion dollars and then have a bunch of veterans living under a bridge. That's fucking... See, this is the way you run a country. So, anyway, so they call him like a socialist as always,

and then they just start saying that he's short-tempered, he does this and he does that according to unnamed sources in the Congress or something like that. It's like, you fucking bitches. It's going around trying to dig up stuff on this... Just, like, they had nothing to do other than to write an article that this guy was short-tempered and blah, blah, blah.

you know, all you have to do to read through all of that is he might actually hold banks accountable. He might question our foreign policy. You fucking socialist. Anyway, it is amazing that we can see that communism and socialism doesn't work, but we can't see that capitalism doesn't work. Can't fucking see it. The problem is not the form. It's people.

No matter what form of government, government you have, it's not going to fucking work because psychopaths will ascend to the top of that mountain and then just take everything for themselves, no matter what the fuck you call it. All right, that's my little thing. Oh, get off the fucking stump this. So then the next day, the post of the cover had this whole article about how kids, you know, can't read or reading in a really low level in this country. And guess who they blamed?

They blamed the teachers. They were like, shame on teachers. You're going to blame teachers, those poor underpaid people? That's who the fuck you're going to blame. What about all of the parents out there that use an iPad? They outsource their being a parent with an iPad. They give it to their kids. You see them.

The kid starts crying. They just hand them a fucking iPad. These kids have no focus. They're fucking overly stimulated. And then you send them to school along with 30 other fucking kids. And some poor human beings. up there with a piece of chalk and a blackboard trying to hold their fucking attention.

We took all the funding away and all of that stuff. It should have been shame on us. Shame on us for not raising our fucking kids to have an attention span. Not that all that information is out there, right? And shame on us for allowing the politicians to fucking, you know, defund all of those things because people at the top don't want to pay any fucking taxes.

Blaming the gall, blaming the goddamn teachers. That's what I don't line up with conservative thought. I line up with it with a lot of other shit. iPads, phones, none of that shit. You know, giving hormone changing drugs to your fucking four-year-old, like they have a date that weekend. Like, I don't understand any of that shit.

I'd be like, you know, I think I'm going to be conservative here, and I'm going to back off of that. Don't think I'm going to fucking do that, you know. Well, where you lose me is, when there's problems, you always look down. Like the people down are fucking making decisions. Like you have the whole public school system. Let's blame the least powerful.

Let's blame the underpaid teacher. Dealing with iPads and legal weed. Oh my God. Did you see in Texas out of nowhere all of a sudden fucking made marijuana illegal? And then has like these. those Rockefeller laws. You have like a fucking ounce of weed or so,

whatever the fuck it is. Half an ounce, quarter of an ounce, eighth of an ounce. I don't know what the fuck it is. But like you're going to be a convicted felon. You know? And I got a feeling that they're going to be searching some groups of people more than other groups of people because when you're a felon, you can't vote.

Diabolical. You know, I know I have a lot of friends that are potheads that fucking moved out to Texas. So I fucking feel bad for them. You know? You can't fucking do that to people. You can't have something be legal that someone is into.

Be like that's illegal. That's like making sunbathing illegal in Florida. I move down here to get away from the winter. I love how they make weed legal and they don't, what they should make illegal is now that it's legal, what corporations are doing to wheat. It's like the chemicals, the sugar,

all of the shit that they've put into it. Like, what have it happened to a bag of grass, man? That's the worst thing about they're beginning to legalize, like, mushrooms and shit, which actually have true healing powers, I think. It's worked good for me. Once corporations get a hold of them, they're going to just fucking, you won't be able to find mushrooms from Mother Nature anymore, and they'll own the seed and they'll take it over

and then they immediately, the pink slime. They take the pink slime off the floor to fatten up their fucking product so they don't have to put as much hamburger in there. By the way, I did go to this fucking hamburger place. And I had to order it medium. I had to order the burger medium. I should have ordered like medium well

because I remember the last time I usually get a burger medium rare. I got it medium rare and it was like fucking and the center was almost cold. You know, you know, when you pick up a burger and before you even bite into it, there's a puddle of blood on the plate. It's like, is the grill on? What are we doing?

What did we do? Did you put like this on top of a radiator for half a second and just touch it on both sides? And if you have a patty that thick, you've got to go low and slow if somebody's going medium or beyond. I mean, people, this is the kind of thing. things that you learn when you work a grill at a restaurant. Oh, Billy's chef hat. Oh, Billy's

chef hat. Sorry, I'm all over the map here. I'm just, I'm just telling you about my trip. So, oh, on the flight out, I saw, I watched two movies that, um, I thought I had seen both of them. just because I've heard about them for so long and I've seen so many clips I just always thought I sat down and watched it wire to wire. But like there's a lot of movies like that. Like, you know, Greece is always on TV

and you just feel like, yeah, I've seen this movie. That's like I never sat down and watched the whole thing. That or like Star Wars. Don't know that I've ever done that. so you think that you've seen these after a while they've just been on TV so long you think you've seen them was another good example of those just always on fucking TV movies

because people will just watch them because of these huge fucking hits anyway I had never seen Friday if you can fucking believe that with Ice Cube and Chris Tucker I knew I had never like ever just sat down and watched the whole thing but I've seen so many fucking clips over the years that I thought I had seen pretty much the whole movie.

I think that's why I just never watched. I was like, I saw it. I caught it, you know, most of it online. I'll fucking watch something else. I never saw it. And I sat down and watched it like, I didn't see any of the movie. I think I just kept seeing that Chris Tucker.

You guys got knocked the fuck out. And then I always see him like, you know, damn, looking at the good looking girl walking by. And then that. and actor Zeus coming up and robbing him. Like, I'd seen that. And I don't know. Those are just like clips.

I never saw it. Obviously, fucking hilarious. And my favorite actor in there, you know, everybody talks, obviously, about Chris Tucker and Ice Cube, and they all obviously all crushed it. But there was a guy, DJ Pooh, who played a UPS driver. He was fucking fantastic. He was so funny, but, like, grounded.

There was something about him. And I guess he's more of a musician than an actor, but God damn it, he fucking... killed it and then i watched that movie juice which i had never seen and uh yeah that movie's like a 30-something years old that is just a straight-up timeless amazing movie like it held up and the acting in it is fucking amazing like i didn't realize how good an actor tupac was like i saw him with that in that tim roth movie um but i never saw uh the one with janet jackson that just looked like a romance movie and uh you know i was like in my 20s i was like i don't watch that shit

i'm sure that's not what it's about um but uh everybody germane hopkins was fucking hilarious and funny i'm sorry hilarious and like you know had to cry in a few scenes like he was getting a terror bigoted by the cops and omar apps of course was amazing but Jesus Christ What's his face? Tupac's character is those straight up fucking psychopath Anyway, I watched those two movies Oh, and you guys told me to watch that Robert Redford movie

Where he was the That motorcycle racer I got to admit I couldn't get through it His character was such a fucking asshole And he made this choice where he was chewing gum and then he was also sort of brushing his teeth dry with no toothpaste. It was like a character choice he made where he just kept taking this toothbrush out of his fucking pocket and would brush his teeth.

And, you know, people eating in movies drives me nuts, just the sound of it, chewing gum and now brushing the teeth like I was just like, and he was fucking these people over because they were like country bumpkins and he was like more worldly and he was getting over on him. And I was just like, I fucking hate this guy. I don't understand what his journey is. And I don't care what it is. I'm rooting for the other fucking guy. And then he goes to brush his teeth again.

I was like, I can't fucking watch this. So there you go. Those are my movie reviews for the week. I wish I knew the name. Hang on. I'll get you the fucking name of the movie I'm talking about. Hold on, hold on. Robert.

Redford Motorcycle movie it's something Yeah there is Little Foss and Big Halsey I mean obviously Robert Rift's an amazing actor

but he played an astounding cunt in that fucking movie but whatever you guys keep coming with the recommendations and I'll watch whatever you send my way Oh and then last but not least I watched the Moto GP, the one from Silver Cup.

And I watched the sprint race with Jorge Martine winning that one. But too, fucking Mark Marquez was like 18 points away from the leader. And after this weekend, he's 40. And I swear to God, the announcers like 500 times are just going like, I don't think I've ever seen Mark Marquez, you know, slipping. and he's you know his back tire is like ice he has no rubber like i don't think i've ever seen mark marquez you know be on a motorist it's like they said it like 20 times during the sprint it's only like a fucking 10 lap race and then they set it another fucking 30 times on sunday it's like

i get it his bike isn't fucking working well this weekend um but uh what's this i also this is something i don't understand in motorcycle racing every once in a while there's just a race And it just seems like one guy just says, fuck this. And on the first lap, he's just running away from everybody and they can't catch him. That happened like Raul Fernandez. Like by the fifth lap, he had like a three and a half, four second lead. I've got to talk to somebody that knows something about this sport. It's like, why was his bike so much faster than everybody else's?

I don't know. It's strange. So, yes, Raul Fernandez got in first place, but unfortunately, his teammate, Iogura fucking crashed on Sunday because I was actually thinking, you know, let's see, what's the point standings here? O'Gura's in third place, and Rao Fernandez is in sixth place. So he actually had somebody that was fucking with the pre-la as far as getting the team championship. but, you know, Bershecki and Martine are just fucking running away with this thing.

But it was going to be fun for half a second. You know, if a girl could have got some points there. He's only six behind Bishke, but Fernandez is almost 60 points behind Martine. I don't know. I don't know. All right, let me do the fucking reads here. Oh, Billy's still fucking. get your head on a swivel bill

fucking that dream I had with that lady doing like the that gibberish because she was speaking softly too I remember that time I told this I had this dream a long time ago

I was laying in bed sleeping and I woke up and there was some little girl at the end of my bed she had like these giant Fiona Apple eyes remember that awful car those books love is

the one of those weird things that took off in like the 70s and they had these little kids and every page said love is you know buttering your fucking toast and

giving it to your wife's just stupid I don't know just I don't know it was kind of like for people who don't watch the news so they have no idea what's going on and they just sort of would shop at places like

wicks and sticks and then go get a muffin and pewter pot these are all discontinued stores for my childhood um mammoth mart um you know i finally figure that out mammoth mart i'm like why the fuck did they have like a little willy mammoth as their mascot and mammoth also means gigantic you dumb fuck it was a big box store like literally 50 years later i'm like oh that's what I meant Anyway so I had this dream There was this little girl I wake up there's this little girl

Standing there Like with big eyes And she's like whispering Looking at me and she's smiling nodding her head And I go like what What did you say a little girl I can't hear I can't hear

Come a little closer And they're just coming closer And she was going She was like fucking smiling And nodding her head I was like what what And she finally came up like right next to me

the side of the bed and I was like she was adorable so I was smiling what you say what you say and she goes you're going to kill yourself I fucking woke up do you guys remember this I told this thing and then one of the listeners said what they're saying

you want to have a kid because that was when me and they were going to try to have a kid and was saying that by having a kid you're killing your old self because now you're going to have all this responsibility and this whole being able to sleep as long as you want and blah blah blah blah blah you're killing that off and it's like all right well that's that's an interesting theory

but like why did it have to be so fucking terrifying because you're terrified of having a child they can just once somebody gets an angle they can just weave it in there but it's also like I don't know man like what if I was going to kill myself what if it just was what it was And then why is she so excited about it? There's another froth.

Why do you dream in like metaphors and like symbolic shit? Like I don't know. Why can't it just be like, because then I guess it wouldn't be a dream? Does it have, I guess it has to be trippy or it's not a dream. I don't fucking know. All right. Simply safe, everybody. Simply safe, simply safe.

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Visit Cash App slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. All right. I'm going to take a break. Because I still have two more reads. So I'm taking a break. We're going to get into what you guys want to talk about. privacy hack, everybody. Bill, did you know that if you spray your license plate with Rustolium 214-944 reflective coating,

you can avoid being spied on by flock cameras? I did not know that. I think that'd be great merch. You could sell scans at your show with your picture on them. Have the artists make you look like the McDonald's hamburger with a shit-eaten grin. Thanks and go fuck yourself. pretty soon what they're going to do is they're going to make that illegal.

They're going to make doing that illegal. And they're going to make cutting down the cameras a felony and they're just going to force you to be in this police state. And I pray for the day where these morons who follow politics finally understand that the Democrats and the Republicans are working for the same

fucking people. And that you then set aside, your red tie and blue tie loyalties, and with the working class all comes together. That's what I hope happens, honestly. I really do. I hope that, you know, I mean, you live in the United States of America

and you have freedom of speech. Go outside and go protest and see how long you can be out there before a cop beats the shit out of you. I mean, every time there's like a protest, that's all I see is just people getting manhandled and being provoked. And, you know, the powers that be put somebody on the protester side to air quote throw something at the cops so they have the excuse to beat the shit out of you and send you home and then regular people see this oh you go to a protest you get the shit kicked out of you

dude have you seen all of this stuff all of these sexual assaults by these ice agents and you got all of these racist white people that are still backing them because they don't see themselves going into the vans like i don't have to deal with that i'm dumb i'm not brown or whatever it's just it's just it's unfucking believable what people are just are just turning a blind eye to um anyway but yeah we should be doing something like why are we all being treated like we're fucking john goddy we're not doing anything um but i told you like that the reason for that is they know that eventually this whole oh it's because of the democrats Oh, it's because of the Republicans. Oh, it's because of Mexicans or Chinese or the Russians and just, they just, no one's going to buy it anymore.

And then their big fears, we all get on the same page because there's way more of us than them. That's their big panic. So they're just going to watch you everywhere you go. They're going to watch what you say. I'm fully prepared for in the future what I'm saying right now in a podcast eventually by the end of my life will be illegal to actually say what's going on.

We are rapidly marching towards a full-on fucking dictatorship. And, you know, with half of the citizens buying patriotic merch from the person with his foot on the gas pedal to the floor. I mean, these fucking people, it's like they think they're in the club. It's like, dude, you're not in the club. You're not in the club.

you're just you bought into it we all do it we all get duped we all get fucking tricked it's like this guy is not working for you all right african woodstock um african woodstock that sounds fucking interesting hey billy bang the drums burr you know i saw this rare footage i'd never seen it before tony williams in africa with this yellow grudge kit jamming with drummers over there And it was the worst camera work I've ever seen. Like at one point they was zooming in on Tony Williams' forearm with his forearm muscle, like twitching as he was playing. It's like, I don't know what the purpose of it was.

But it was really frustrating because I wanted to see him play and I wanted to see how many people he was jamming with and all of that. And this person was just going extreme close-ups of forearms and elbows and hands on drums. Anyway, Billy Bang the Drums Burr. I wanted to put you on to a music documentary I recently stumbled across called Soul to Soul. Soul to Soul to me is a Stevie Ray Vaughnseum

and an album. It's a concert put on in celebration of Ghana's independence. Who did they get independence from? Was it France? Prominent soul slash jazz artists put in the concert I'll put it on in Ghana in 1971, and it has loosely been called the African Woodstock,

artists such as the staple singers, Wilson Pickett, Santana, and Ike and Tina Turner. What? But what about rock stars over there? They must have had some people from over there, right? Among others were artists that were featured at this concert. You know what? Maybe

what would the odds be that I actually saw that clip? Is your phone now reading everything? They saw that I was going to get this fucking email so they sent me that clip? This is weird. The percussion at this concert was unbelievable and it included African instruments

and bongos, which you don't typically see nowadays. You don't? I have a new found admiration for Santana drummer Michael Shreve. Oh, that kid was a beat. He played Woodstock. He was like 19 years old. And he absolutely kills it during that last set. He absolutely killed Woodstock. Just overall, amazing soul slash jazz vibes and amazing live artistry. I think you would really enjoy it and should

check it out. Thanks and go fuck yourself. I 100% will check that out. That would be amazing. Oh, Billy Drumhead. I've been working on my single stroke. roll, the four-stroke roll coming off the high hat, like those fucking, you know, Mitch Mitchell, Keith Moon and all of them. It's weird. To do a four-stroke roll coming off at Tom, either the rack or the floor, for some reason, is easier for me, but like to have your hand crossed in that first note and then go into, you know, you hit a note and then at tempo, right? and then go into a four-stroke rough, it's just really fucking weird for me.

And then the old herda, the bludjda, the bludjda, the one that Alex Van Halen, Dave Grohl and guys like that, Billy Cobb and fucking abused. I never got a good single-stroke roll together. I would always get, like, frustrated, never had the technique to keep going. My forearms would start burning,

and I didn't know that that meant slow down. and go get somebody to help you on your technique so you don't fucking hurt yourself and get carpal tunnel and all of that shit. So I was just like, well, when am I ever going to play like a fast single stroke role? And then I would listen to everything from like,

you know, train caper rolling or something like that that would have shit like that or like, it's so easy. Stephen Adler, the beginning. And I was like, I don't know, they're doing it. So anyway, Oh, I like the looks of this one here. Quit job and travel.

Oh, I keep doing that thing where I make it go all the way back up to the top. Hang on. All right. Quit job and travel. All right, this person says here, love your podcast, man. I wanted some advice. I am 31 years old and have lived with my girlfriend whom I love a lot.

We have no kids and love traveling. we both work she has a bit of debt she's paying off i'm an engineer who's been at my job for about three years now dude i swear to god if an engineer chooses the hippie travel life that's fucking amazing because i feel like you could get a job you know they always need engineers right uh the company gives me stock and the stock has tripled in the past year meaning i have saved a bit over 200 grand not even including my retirement fund So I'm immediately thinking, well, dude, why would you quit this fucking job? Take a week off, travel, keep banking that money.

You sound like you're young. When you get even older, then you could do this move. But he goes on to say, I hate my boss and my boss's boss and all the douchebags above them. The job itself is interesting, but I've come to hate these guys. They criticize my work and point out errors and deadlines constantly, even though I get my shit done. I feel like they're trying to crucify me. All right, well, as long as like you're not like a fucking arrogant ass, I mean, you do work for them,

but I see what you're saying. If they're just nitpicking, justifying the fact that they need to justify that they have a desk, so you've got to come around and say some shit. The person goes on and says, anyway, I want to quit my job sometime in the next year, finish our apartment lease, and take my money and travel the world for months.

My dad would be upset as he was, an engineer who worked hard his whole life, but I want this badly. Should I do it? Am I wrong? I don't give a fuck about a fancy car or much for material objects. Let me know, man. Thanks to go fuck yourself. No, dude, you're not wrong at all.

I can tell you you will never fucking regret doing that. Traveling the fucking world as opposed to playing it's safe. Even like, you know, when you get a job, because I'm saying, wow, you saved up $200,000, you got benefits. Okay, your boss is an asshole. All right, the boss is boss.

Okay, they crucify you. But, you know, money. Money makes you, like, choose, like, fear, makes you choose security. It makes you not follow your heart. Follow your heart, dude. If you want to go travel the fucking world, I would do it.

You can travel the world for nothing. You know, there's all kinds of information out there and how you can just, people just have, like, a backpack. Travel like a rock star. Speaking of Stephen Adler, I remember one time I got the chance to interview him, one of my heroes in life. And I asked him, I said, all right, I go, you know, comedians go out for a week and we come back. You guys will go out for a year, two years.

So I said, all right, you're going on, you're not going to be home for a year. You're packing for the road. What do you bring? He goes, that's easy. He goes, two shirts and one pair of pants. And people would be like, dude, that's fucking gross. Like, to just be living with a go bag, basically. And I kind of pieced together what he was saying

because I read David Lee Roth's autobiography. You know, listen, people. You don't listen to this podcast for the brains. All right? This is some of my deep reading. So I read the David Lee Roth. autobiography and he was talking about the same thing he was like you don't have to bring any clothes like people give you if you're in a band you're going to get some free t-shirts the venue will give you a t-shirt

you said one time uh harley davison came by was trying to get us to buy motorcycles they came by with a bunch of merch and next thing you know he said everybody on the tour for like two months was wearing harley davison shit until people lost it or spilled shit on it or burned it or whatever the fuck happened um and uh anyway so you can just literally like not get involved in this whole world of getting married and then having kids and buying a house and filling up with stuff you know not to say there's anything wrong with that that's my life and i love my life but i also traveled the world before before i did all that sorry had to get up early before the kids to do this podcast um i don't uh i don't regret any of it and and to be able to watch the news and listen to what

they're talking about you know with like a place that you've actually been to and hung out with the people and vibe with them and everything and it's it's how you start to realize that like everybody's basically cool and that all of this um all of this shit wars for foreign policy, embargoes, all of this tariffs, all of this stuff is just nothing more than greed. And it's one side trying to take something from another side or one side trying to force another side to do what they want. And then they, you know, they get on TV and they get behind podiums and they start saying that these people want to come over here and take what we have. It's, you know, they usually say the exact opposite. They want to come on. They want to take your freedom

like you that you're free. I mean, when I was growing up, the whole fucking time I was growing up, they tried to tell me that Russia didn't like America because they were jealous of our blue jeans and our movies. And then terrorists were like, they, you know, they're jealous. They don't like our freedom and all of this stuff. And we just completely ignore, you know, our foreign policies and what we've been doing that, you know, it's like, it's like, it's, you know, it's how racist looks, look at the world. You know, they looked at an oppressed group of people when the oppressed group of people has had enough and they respond in a violent way, then they go, see, look, they're prone to fucking violence and they just completely ignore what's been doing to these.

It's like, that's how abusive people view the world. So you can get out from, if you travel with open eyes and ears and, like, I'm actually, I've had such a good time. traveling the world, I'm like excited for you to go do this. And the fact that you're an engineer, you found this job. There's going to be another engineering job. Okay, but you're never going to be young again, not married, no kids, you know, you have your health and all of that shit. I think it's great your girlfriend's paying down her debt. And that's how you should live. don't live in this constant state of debt and you know you're young so you don't have that much debt i would hope and just get out in front of that shit early if you can i get the debt of

having a house i mean who the fucking just go buy a house right you got to take out a loan but like that fucking revolving credit card debt you know because you had to have that thing you saw i don't nobody goes to the mall anymore on fucking Amazon you don't need to do that anymore I would have limited amount of stuff debt free um and just go and travel and uh I there's never been a country I've been to that I haven't been absolutely like amazed with like the second you get there like you know as much as corporations are fucking everywhere you know You know, the same fucking chain things. When I went to Saudi Arabia, that was like the biggest disappointment.

Like, Jesus, McDonald's, Burger King, Dunkin' Donuts. And, you know, but then the people, though, is what's amazing. I'm going to like fucking New Zealand. And it was like Eden, you know. I'll tell you what I'm amazing. Israel was staying in Jaffa and actually went to this little bootleg 7-Eleven looking thing. And they actually had real cigars. you know, real Cuban cigars, sorry.

And I sat there with Joe Bartnick smoking a part of a series D and watched all these beautiful, you know, I thought the Palestinians and Israelis didn't live together. I mean, I thought like there was always so much strife that it's like, you're over here, we're over here. And no, they were just all mixed up. And they were beautiful people. And you just, you know, and you get to sit there going like,

what the fuck is everybody fighting for over the Mediterranean Sea? This is gorgeous. blah blah blah you just kind of get you get past this is all fucking real estate and religion um went through the middle east they're big on dates i had no idea how much i liked dates i had a buddy mine who was doing the gig with me he was like dude i'm back and stay i'm fucking eating dates things are goddamn delicious um they served him with like tea never would have thought of that combination that was like fantastic i'm gonna take your old little memory that Lane, just the shit that pops up. I remember going through England and the promoter. We ended up

doing a gig near his hometown. And I told him I wanted some legit fish and chips. He goes, I'll take you to where my parents used to take me. And we went over and we got fish and chips. We sat by this little river in a park eating fish and chips on a perfect sunny day. It was fucking amazing. And then the classic going to Scotland. And the guy holding up the sign, and I couldn't understand a word he was saying. He had a sign with my name on it, and I pointed at him, and he nod, and he goes, Bola Wulab. I was like, what?

Bulla-wool-wob. What? You prefer Bola-wulab? I said, oh, Bill, and he goes, bull. And he was the greatest guy, and he shot this shit with me the whole way into town, and I maybe understood fucking 20% of what he was saying. Oh, I remember the first time. I heard somebody say, cunt.

Me and me and they were in England. You know, and you feel like, I feel like when they go over there, they want to see somebody in New York be like, hey, I'm walking here, right? So we were in this, one of those little black cabs that they got. And somebody stopped short, so our cab stopped short,

and there was a guy on a bicycle behind us, and he had to stop short, almost ran into it. And I just heard, Maladah, you fucking cunt. And me and Nia smiled at each other, like, we really are in England. I remember being somewhere in the Nordic countries

and there was a whole bar made out of ice being in there with Nia drinking fucking vodka. I also remember being over there and there was this crazy meal that we got. It was like 17 courses. And in the end, the dessert was the most funkiest fucking cheese to the point. Nia couldn't even smell it.

And I just started eating it because she couldn't believe that I was eating it. And she was going, stop it, stop it. And I was dying laughing. And dude, My fucking nose of my eyes were tearing up the sharpest, whatever, I don't know whatever the term is. First time we went to France and seeing the fucking Eiffel Tower, speaking a little bit of French. I went to the Dominican Republic and I rode a horse and went like behind this fucking waterfall.

I mean, this is like, you're going to fucking listen to your bosses? One time I did a whole tour of Canada and I brought my hockey stuff and played pickup hockey across the whole fucking continent. My favorite one was they flooded a basketball court. It was the smallest rink I'd ever been in. And these fucking, they're obviously the Canadians, they can skate. These kids' ability, they could turn in a phone booth with the puck. It was fucking amazing. What else?

visiting Bond Scott's grave, being upset that there was a Miller genuine draft, a bunch of alcohol, which I thought was kind of stupid too. He kind of died because he was drinking. It was kind of weird. You know, if somebody overdosed on fucking heroin, I wouldn't leave a bunch of syringes there, you know? That one, first time seeing the Sydney Opera House, going to Singapore, the fucking dumplings when I was in Hong Kong. Mumbai, India meeting all the comics over there and they were fucking hilarious and they were like ballbusters

which is not something what did I know about India? I knew Gandhi, Deepak Chopra and somebody calling you up on like, you know, when you called customer service and they'd be like,

hello, my name is Steve. And it's like, I know your name isn't Steve and I know you're not in America. And that was my fucking opening joke. that I wanted to do that night. And I forgot to do it because I had to get a piece of paper that said I could go to India

and then I had to go to the embassy and fucking get a piece of paper that said I could leave. And the promoter, when he was calling me, he's like, don't worry, man. It was, I'll go in there with you, I'll handle it. And I got to the embassy and they said that he couldn't go in there. I had to go in there by myself,

navigate that whole system. I was sitting next to some chick from Afghanistan. She's looking at me, and I'm looking at, We're like, I don't know, we're going to get out of here? And I finally got my piece of paper and I go, this means I can get out of here, right? And they don't shrug their shoulders. They do like this bobblehead thing.

And I'm like, what the fuck? So I was so nervous when I wanted the stage because I had a flight out that night that they weren't going to let me leave. And I forgot my opening joke. My opening joke was going to be like, hey, what's up, everybody? Thanks for coming out.

Can't believe I'm here. And you know what's funny? I've probably already talked to half of you already. on the phone. And by the way, I know your name isn't Steve, which would have fucking killed. And I forgot to do it because I was as scared.

So there you go. There you go. Oh, Saudi Arabia performing to 8,000 people all dressed like fucking Yasser Arafat. Going out of the fuck. Someday I'll tell you guys about that whole gig.

You know, when the false flag outrage of of that kind of goes away or whatever. It's like one of my top three gigs of all fucking time. Just as far as like just standing there going, how in the fuck am I going to make these people laugh? And then also worrying about getting arrested and then knowing full well,

there's no way fucking Donnie Boy is going to get me out. Oh, Donny Boy, I had like fucking dry mouth for like the first 20 minutes before I realized, okay, it is cool. Am I going to do my gay gym joke? all right i'm doing it let's see what happens anytime anybody even moved or got up i would get nervous and i don't know that one was a great one uh Italy i could go on for fuck germany that was just fucking oh my god what i first time i did budapest

and the crowd was so amazing i was like i should have fucking shot a special here um last one i'll tell you in finland like the person who said I will never forget this. I go, do you guys believe in an afterlife here? And they were like, no. And I go, so what do you think happens when you die? And this is the greatest answer I've ever heard, the one that makes the most sense.

This guy in the crowd goes, do you remember what it was like before you were born? And I said, no. And he goes, it's like that. Oh, it's just like, oh my God. I mean, that's the best fucking answer, especially since I recently read that book, a brief history of the world. And when it put human beings on a 24-hour clock as far as like how long things have been alive on this planet and when we got here,

it said we showed up at 11.51 p.m. So this whole idea that God made this place for us and made us in his image, the whole way that we make ourselves the star of the show. The math does not work out on that. I think he made it and he left and he's just continuing to expand the universe. He's just, he's an artist. He's just still out there building.

And we're way in the rear, I don't even know that he's even fucking aware of us. When you look at it that way and all I ever think is, do you remember what I was like before you were alive? It's like, Zat. It's just like, wow. gotta fucking give it up to you, sir.

That's a fantastic fucking answer. That's the only answer I've ever heard that made sense. The whole, oh, you get like reincarnated and you come back and blah, blah, blah. It's just like, well, the math doesn't make sense. If everybody's just getting reincarnated, it would be the same seven people over and over again. But then you make more people and they keep coming, like, until what? The only thing that there's just a bunch of people standing around, there's no trees left? I didn't ever understood that.

The whole idea of living forever in heaven, have you really thought about that? Like, forever. Like, what would you want to do? Like, you get to see all of these fucking, everybody, all your friends, all your family, all this shit. Forever?

I mean, I can't even go to a fucking cookout without getting into argument with a couple of them. I'm going to spend forever with all of these goddamn people. It just doesn't make any sense. but I also know that I'm a living thing, so I should not understand what happens at, but I just never understood, or like if you're an asshole, you go to hell forever?

You don't serve a sentence? Why can't you go to hell for as long as you were alive? If you go to hell forever, you kind of owe... And also, how could you enjoy heaven if you got there and then you realized one of your friends didn't make it? And then you have to sit there every day knowing that your friend is burning in flames forever? forever, ever?

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Get started with ShipStation today and get 60 days free at Shipstation.com with Code Burr. That's Shipstation.com, code Burr. Shipsation.com, code Burr. Taxes and fees apply. By the way, how about them fucking Red Sox? What are they, like, 31 and 5? Absolutely killing it. And then we actually made some moves here, trying to keep up with the fucking Dodgers. who were buying everybody out there on the planet. We took that catcher from the Orioles, which I think sucked.

I hate that shit. I was really excited when he came up. Like they had a whole fucking YouTube video about this guy finding out that he was going up to the big leagues and the way that they were talking about him, his arm and all of that. And, you know, the offense that he could provide and everything. You know, I grew up with like, you know,

Johnny Bench all the way to Johnny Bench all the way to fucking What the fuck's his name? Mike Piazza, the offensive catchers, you know? I don't know. I wish guys like that would like stay on teams. Anyway, that's the podcast. Thank you for listening.

Have a great couple of days, your cunts, and I'll check. Go fuck yourself. That's what I'm supposed to say. Go fuck yourself. And I'll check in on you on Thursday. Thank you.