Monday Morning Podcast - NFL, War of the Worlds, Grateful Dead Bootlegs | Monday Morning Podcast 9-22-25

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Bill rambles about NFL games, War of the Worlds, and Grateful Dead bootlegs. Squarespace:  Check out www.SquareSpace.com/BURR for a free trial with the code BURR to save 10% off your first purch...ase of a website or domain. Mizzen and Main: Right now, Mizzen & Main is offering our listeners 20% off your first purchase at www.MizzenandMain.com promo code BURR20. Quo:  Join over 90,000 businesses already using Quo, formerly Openphone, to stay ahead.Go to www.Quo.com/burr to get started with a free trial and get 20% off your first six months. 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, September 21st, 2025. What's going on? How are you? How's it going? Oh, Jesus there. How was your football Sunday?
Starting point is 00:00:19 How was it? Was it a good one? Was it a bad one? I watched my New England Patriots in their throwback Pat Patriot uniforms, which I love. Um, I still wish they would come back with the black cleats. That uniform with the black cleats, um, going back to like, you know, er, uh, I was going to say Irving Friar. He was the white cleats by then. I was, uh, Jim Plunkett when I first started Mac Haren way, way, way back over 50 years ago.
Starting point is 00:00:52 I've been watching the Patriots for over 50, probably about 73 or 74, about five or six years old, the first time I remember watching. them with my dad um but uh anyway i saw a lot of great things i saw a lot of bad things i already think i already feel like rabel is the guy i feel like he's turning this team around yes we had six turnovers yes it got ugly there yes all of that stuff however you know there's a lot to be happy with. I mean, we were competitive right to the end of the game, and we were nowhere last year. We were nowhere.
Starting point is 00:01:36 So everybody, you know, everybody's got to fucking relax and give, you know, give them more than three games to turn this around. So if you just look at today, obviously, they're going to work on protecting the football. All right?
Starting point is 00:01:54 I mean, that pickoff. off in the end zone. The ball got tipped. What are you going to do? Right? But the fumbles and that type of stuff, just protect the ball better. Just imagine imagine if we didn't turn the ball over. That's the kind of game we're going to win. And I kind of get the vibe today
Starting point is 00:02:12 that we could win like six or seven games this year, you know, and build momentum towards next year. Very conservative number. Six or seven games. Some would say maybe I'm getting a little crazy that I think they could win that many but i think they can win like six or seven games i think by the end of october they're going to be a very competitive team i think they're going to be in a lot of games
Starting point is 00:02:34 i think they're a little bit young so they're not going to know how to win like today they should have won they should have beat the steelers today they just they just don't know how to do it yet um you know it's like you know watching your kid learn how to walk what are you going to yell at him because he can't run yet you encourage him hey and he falls on his ass good job buddy good job football version of that, which is, you got to get your fucking heads on the game. I mean, that's how it works, but that's the same thing. It translates. It definitely translates.
Starting point is 00:03:07 How about the fucking Jets? What a great game that was. Heartbreaker that they lost it in the end. But, you know, if I'm a Jet fan, I'm liking the direction they're going in. That kid fucking blocked the field goal right there at the end, picked it up and ran it in. I mean, they're in my division, and I was going crazy when I saw that. That was fucking amazing. And, you know, I'm not a, you know, I root for my teams, but I'm not a cunt.
Starting point is 00:03:37 All right. Anybody that wishes more misery on Jets fans, I mean, you really got to, like, you know, if you're wishing more misery on Jets fans, then I also think that you align with people that work for ICE. You know what I mean? Let's go down to Home Depot. These illegal immigrants, they're down here. They're trying to work. And, you know, they're scared shitless. And, you know, to pay off my college tuition, I'm going to help throw them in a van.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Yeah, that's the kind of people that – see, right there, I kind of tied it all in there. It made sense of my head. Here's one for you is – by the way, I've got to be honest with you. Aaron Rogers looks good as a stealer. You know? That uniform, I wish you didn't shave the beard, though. I wish he had a little bit of that Kenny Stabler, silver hair in the beard. You know, silver whiskers, the grizzled vet,
Starting point is 00:04:40 taking over one of the oldest teams in the NFL. I don't know. I kind of like it. I had money on the Niners versus the Cardinals. That game's still going on. It's currently six to three. Is there anything worse than having fucking money on a dog shit game like that? Uh-oh, here comes Billy conspiracy.
Starting point is 00:05:01 Here comes Billy conspiracy. I've been thinking, oh, Bill, why would you do that? Whatever you do? Whatever you do, Bill, don't start thinking. I've been thinking lately a couple of things. One, the genius of making sports gambling legal, aside from all the extra money that the state makes and the league makes it's basically you know
Starting point is 00:05:26 you're paying taxes through football games because they everybody's you know wet in their beak it's a more exciting way to pay for paying the roads in your state I guess at the end of the day but
Starting point is 00:05:42 now that so many more people I believe are gambling on football so many more people are going to hang around and watch dog shit game to the end because as much as it's not entertaining it matters it matters to
Starting point is 00:06:00 your wallet and then my other thing the whole is it a catch is it not a catch the whole ambiguity of that which I can you know
Starting point is 00:06:14 gun to my head I would just flip a coin I have no idea which way they're going to go they literally catch the ball and start running with it and then there's that whole fucking up to interpretation you can't argue with it did the person make the move or not and that right there is how you fix a football game right there i'm not that is the nfl's version of the baseline i remember when that guy was it donahy that was fixing games he said one of your best friends when you're fixing a game is the baseline or something like calling
Starting point is 00:06:50 shit out or whatever when it's in and vice versa and all of that type of shit calling fouls the football version to fuck a game. I'm not saying they do this every game, but if there needs to be some fuckery,
Starting point is 00:07:06 that's a great place to go. But did he because the guy's in the booth never know? What do you think's going to? I don't know. They can sit there and say, that's a fumble, that isn't a fumble. except with the stupid tuck rule
Starting point is 00:07:21 but like they know did his knee touch the ground before that shit you can't fuck with but that whole did he or did he not make a football move and that is just all and they get on a fucking phone
Starting point is 00:07:35 and they call some guy in New York I mean Jesus Christ what what else do you need what what else do you need? That's like a fucking Bronx tale. You know? Who are they calling?
Starting point is 00:07:55 Chas, Palm and Terry? Who are they calling in New York? Some Italian guy hanging out in front of a social club? What is going on there? I have no idea. Actually, I don't think there's any Italians involved in it anymore, which really sucks. Because when the Italians did it, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:08:16 It was a lot more fun. It looked better. the food was great there was a spread you know what i mean not just on the game they had the food laid out all of that shit and this was opposed to these fucking corporate cunts heartless cunts so that's my new that's my new uh conspiracy theory that one of the ways um obviously you can call holding on any any play but uh i was watching that arburn game when that guy caught the ball he gets tass tackled. His ass hits the, you know, the defenders underneath him, so he's never on the ground. The ball flies out of his hands. The guy from Auburn catches it and runs it back.
Starting point is 00:08:58 And they're literally going, did he make a football move? Do you make a football move? He ran like two steps. He caught the fucking ball, turned and ran a step and a half. At what point? Two things I'm never going to figure out. Is it or is it not a bach? I don't know what the fuck a bach is. what a football move is and um you know i just look at it like geometry didn't make sense then doesn't make sense now and it's not going to make sense to me in the future i understand what it's for and i understand that whatever part of your brain you go to to understand it i do not have access to you know it's like when you click on on an ad on the internet and it's to some newspaper and you start to read it and then that thing comes out they need to subscribe
Starting point is 00:09:53 and you're like I'm not fucking doing this I'm never going to see that article I'm not in the circle I don't have the passcode um all right anyway and with that with that that that fucking chatter um Jesus Christ what the fuck happened to the saints I want to turn that game on because the 49ers Cardinals game was so bad and that was the game we had out here in the west coast and Seattle was up 21 to nothing they really are that bad huh um who's the coach for Seattle is it I saw is it the Michael McDonald he came from somewhere back in the long ago called a flea flicker um anyway plowing ahead here uh I had a fantastic week.
Starting point is 00:10:51 I've been working my ass off. Not really been on the road, but working on some scripts and stuff like that. Some projects with some people I'm excited to work with that I can't talk about yet. But hopefully in the future, these projects will come to fruition.
Starting point is 00:11:06 I did a road gig last night in Riverside. Hadn't been there in a minute. Played the Fox Theater out there. I want to thank each and every person that came out last night. I had such a great time. and i worked with dean del ray who i'm telling you has written his best material of his career is fucking murdering and i've been using another new comic that i just uh well d's not a new
Starting point is 00:11:35 comic but i i i work a new person into the rotation you know because i don't bring cupcakes on the road and they all all all of them end up going out headlining you know paul verzi Going around the country, fucking destroying. Joe Bartnick, going around the country fucking destroying. So Dean Del Rey is going to be going soon, right? So I always got to have somebody new. So I've been working with this comedian, Ambria Allen, who is fucking amazing. Absolutely murdered last night.
Starting point is 00:12:08 Made me laugh out loud twice, which I never do. And, you know, I get like really psyched when the people in front of me are going out doing their thing and you know it just makes for such a great show because the people came out to see the last comic
Starting point is 00:12:29 and I think there's this idea that the ones that they're going to see before that aren't going to be up to you know snuff and then they come out and they fucking murder like I don't know that's just one of those things why I come out there and I just feel like they already
Starting point is 00:12:45 you know feel like they're getting their money's worth all i got to do is just finish this off so i went out there try it out some new couple of new ones some of them went some of them didn't but uh you know i'm going to try to jump on stage uh again tonight recording this sunday uh because i got some road gigs road gigs i'm going to saudi arabian barring this week uh really excited to head out there for that there some big festival out there to go out there and go meet the, uh, the, the, uh, the Bill Burr, you know, a fucking Saudi Arabian, Bahrain. You know, it's kind of a great thing to travel the world like that, you know, and, uh, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:13:31 I'm not going to be there long. Of course, it's not going to be hottest. It's going to be like, you know, over 100 degrees, I think. Jeez, Louise. Um, but I'm going to try to see whatever I can see. And, uh, it's kind of cool, man. When you do stand-up, comedy it's amazing like when you do your act you can learn so much about people in whatever country you're in or whatever city you're in by what they laugh at the way they laugh at it they pull back or whatever so um i'm kind of looking forward to that and uh what else do i got going on i've been off the internet for i don't know and by off the internet i mean i just kind of of fucking
Starting point is 00:14:18 I stopped being on Instagram you know like the same way I stopped drinking I had to get off it because I loved it and I wanted to do it
Starting point is 00:14:36 less and I was finding that trying to do it less was not my decision I was really like I had to work at it so like I still go on Instagram every day in that like towards the end of the day
Starting point is 00:14:51 I go on and I basically just check my DMs in case somebody reached out to me and I don't people thinking that I'm a dick blowing them off or whatever but then I immediately get off. So all I really do is all I really do is
Starting point is 00:15:09 I go on Duo Lingo I've been crushing my French like this they got this AI chick Lily and she used to hang up on me break really quick i was telling you the other day now i'm having like five six seven minute conversations with her and i'm starting to fill in some gaps on how to say different things and uh she used to just roll her eyes and be like bad problem and then just fucking hang up on me you know abiento au revoir a la procheon and just whatever she had like 50 ways
Starting point is 00:15:44 of being like all right i'm done talking to you i am done talking to you um anyway uh all of that stuff has been going good but i've been like off the internet and uh you know over the last couple of weeks there's been some really like big stories and um you know you hear about the bigger ones but i'm just like kind of away from the hysteria you know like all of that crazy stuff that happened out in utah i have not seen nor do i ever want to see the video of that happening to anybody i don't know why people would want to click on and watch somebody die is is like there's no way to watch stuff like that and it doesn't do something like i used to do this bit
Starting point is 00:16:42 my act a long time ago, where I viewed your soul like it was like pixelated. And every time, you know, like, every time you look at something like that that you shouldn't have seen, that's psychologically damaging, it's like you lose a couple of cubes. Like, it does something to you. So, anyway, I've been just off the internet. And I got to be honest with you, like, the internet is not fucking real. as far as like what I kind of finally realized is like
Starting point is 00:17:15 you know you go into a library remember you guys remember books I must forgot about those things you go into a library and the library has shit divided into fiction and nonfiction you go on the internet
Starting point is 00:17:32 and there's only one category nonfiction everybody is spinning it I'm telling you the truth. And I got to be honest, I can't fucking, I don't have the capacity to handle it anymore. I don't know if other people can. If you can, God bless you. It's like some people like this, people my age that still drink, and they can handle it.
Starting point is 00:17:59 They can go out on a Friday night and have a couple of drinks or have one, like, really nice glass of wine with dinner. I wish I could do that. fucking do it and i really realized that i've sort of been like addicted to the internet for close to 30 years like the first time i got a laptop some in a late 90s for like 25 fucking years i have just been on there i don't know what doing i don't know what i've been doing um i've been watching porno, watching people get kicked in the balls fucking looking at cars and shit.
Starting point is 00:18:43 I still like doing like that, like looking at cars and shit. But I'm going to like kind of go away like I did with cigars. Still have not smoked a cigar since fucking January. I had to talk with my daughter today. I said, you know what? I think I'm going to have a few in October. But then I want you to get back on me and say I have to go another hundred days.
Starting point is 00:19:03 And she goes, all right, cool. How many are you going to have? well usually you let me have five she goes all right cool five so i said all right that's what i'm going to do so um i don't know that's kind of where i'm at so you know i'm not saying you have to get off the internet i'm not saying you got to do it you know i'm not going to be one of those guys like you see on the internet like if i was making an instagram video i would be like i would say you're getting off the internet and now you instantly feel better know this is posted on the internet um so i guess that's not even my idea looking at it like drinking i saw this thing that said being on a social media app like instagram is is five times worse than drinking
Starting point is 00:19:52 i also saw that on the internet so it's five times worse by what analytics i don't fucking know all I can say is that you can literally go out and learn to play an instrument, speak a new language, get a pilot's license, learn how to cook something. You can just do all of these amazing things with that time that you're going on there. With shit that I just feel is it's, you know, it's really, it's out there to make you feel bad, man. um and all of this crazy shit that's like like happening like right now
Starting point is 00:20:37 I mean I don't know we're living in a world for the first time ever we're living in a world where a president cannot handle monologue jokes that are made about him
Starting point is 00:20:51 which is that's a new one um I hope they bring Jimmy back I mean what the fuck we doing. This is, this is, this is, uh, this is, uh, this isn't, this is insane. You know, it's funny because I'm, I'm reading this book on, uh, Enzo Ferrari right now. And he was, talking about that period where Mussolini was coming up. Mussolini, all these dictators
Starting point is 00:21:19 have a group. You know, Hitler, I think, had brown shirts. Mussolini had black shirts, you know, Trump has ice. You know, that's the thing that worries me about ice. It's like, Okay, when they get rid of all the illegals, they still have those vans and they still have alligator Alcatraz. Then who's going in the van? And when you have someone with the dictator mindset, somebody always has to be going in the van. When you lead by fear, when you lead by division, that is the key. the key is division you got to make sure
Starting point is 00:22:01 people are fucking scared to open their fucking mouths um I don't know but I will say like these these fucking corporate assholes at the top the shit that they will do
Starting point is 00:22:19 they will fuck their own country over they will say fuck freedom of speech they'll say all of that And it's just like six of them, just so a merger or some fucking money thing can go down and they can get their seven, eight figure, whatever the fuck they're trying to get, bonus. It's really gross. Like, why aren't they going into vans?
Starting point is 00:22:46 Fucking throwing people in there that, what are they doing? Making papooses in the back of a fucking restaurant? like the, what happened to the people eating the dogs and all of this shit? All I see is just fucking people that are trying to work and escape a bad situation and try to make a better, I mean, to have no empathy for that, you know what I mean? To pay off your college loans, taking children out of mother's hands, the kind of people that can do that, you can go to bed at night and block out those blood-curdling screams as you clothes the van door you know those are the kinds of people that are signing up for that job they
Starting point is 00:23:30 wear a mask to work and you're telling me when they get rid when they're done with all the illegal aliens and you're telling me when whoever's in power flips the switch to somebody else that all they don't have to do is just you know now we'll give you a little house if if you start putting naturalized, you know, just actual citizens in there that don't line up with what, who need to be re-educated, all of that, that fucking bullshit. That's how that works. Goes down. It goes down quick.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Anyway, or I could just be babbling. Who knows? Whoa, shit. No, you know what it is? It's my fucking opinion. And at this point, I am still allowed. I'm still allowed to speak it. I will tell you this.
Starting point is 00:24:21 I don't know why Donald Trump writes books on business. He should really write a book on vengeance because I've never seen anybody better at it. I feel like Shakespeare would be like, God damn, dude. Wow. Anyway, well, we'll see what happens. It's out of my hands. I don't know how to stop it.
Starting point is 00:24:46 All right. Squarespace. everybody. Let's do some reads for this week. Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scrolling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place.
Starting point is 00:25:13 From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings. with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time and with professional on-brand invoices and online payments. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, and premium workshops.
Starting point is 00:25:46 make smart of business decisions with Squarespace's intuitive, built-in analytic tools, review website traffic, learn to focus engagement, and track revenue from bookings, invoices or product sales, all from one place. For a free trial, that you can check out whatever. They don't have my thing here for some reason. I keep meaning to tell them, I don't have my unique URL for a free trial. and when you're ready to launch, you use the offer code burr, B-U-R-R-R to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's Squarespace.com for a free trial.
Starting point is 00:26:28 And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code B-U-R-R-R to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain or domain. All right. Okay, I guess this is another read here. You know what? I always bring my glasses and then I never use. I think it's time to put them on here. All right. Okay, who is it?
Starting point is 00:26:52 Oh, look who it is. It's Mizzen and Maine, like Turks and Caicos. Misen and Maine. You know, the saying, look good, feel good? Well, the problem is, most dress clothes only check one of those boxes. Sure, they look sharp,
Starting point is 00:27:07 but they're stiff, hot, and high maintenance. Well, that's the truth. That's why I don't like fancy clothes. every time you rub up against something like oh oh get in a cab you know all of a sudden you know you're aware of everything um anyways which makes it hard to actually feel comfortable that's why i'm such a fan of mizzen and maine mizzen and maine makes classic men's wear with performance fabrics so it's efferlitz to look sharp and feel great all right i'm already a big fan of performance fabrics Mizzen and Maine actually invented the performance fabric dress shirt over 10 years ago,
Starting point is 00:27:49 and since then they've perfected it with modern fabrics. Mizan and Maine shirts and pants look for fine, yet they're stretchy, lightweight, moisture wicking, wrinkle resistance, and completely machine washable. No ironing or drying or dry cleaning. When you put their clothes on, you'll feel the difference instantly. Professional style that's actually comfortable, whether you're in the office on the road or even out on the golf course. It's timeless style you can invest in once and enjoy for years.
Starting point is 00:28:22 That's why thousands of guys swear by Mizzen and Maine when they want to look great without the hassle, man. Right now, Mizzen and Maine is offering our listeners 20% off your first purchase at Mizzen and Main.com promo code Burr 20, B-U-R-R-2-0. That's Mizon-I-Z-Z-E-N and Maine. M-A-I-N-M-A-N dot com, promo code burr for 20% off. Mizzen-in-Main.com promo code Burr 20. And if you'd rather shop in person,
Starting point is 00:28:54 you can find Mizan-Main stores in select states. All right, there's one more. There's one more read here. Quo. Oh, formally, open phone! I think I got bought out already. These guys must know what they're doing. Quo.
Starting point is 00:29:13 You might know it as open phone is one of those tools that can really help business owners. It's the same great business phone system you heard me talk about before just with a new name. And here's why it matters. If you're running a business, every miss call is money left on the table. Think about the last time you had a plumbing emergency. If the first plumber didn't answer, did you wait? Or did you call the next one on the list? Chances are, if you're not a dope, you moved on.
Starting point is 00:29:43 with Quo, Q-U-O, Quo, Quo, Quo, Quo, Quo, quote, take it easy there. Formerly open phone, you'll never miss a chance to connect with your customers. Quo gives you a dedicated business number that works right from an app on your computer or on your phone or your computer. You and your team can share one number. Reply to a customer faster and keep everything organized, so nothing slips through the cracks. Quo even helps your phone covered after, even keeps your phone covered after hours so leads don't disappear while you're away. And if you've ever sat through a long business call and couldn't remember what was actually
Starting point is 00:30:22 said, subtext, if you microdose, your favorite drug and you're kind of flaked, you're not alone. Quos call transcripts and summaries capture the conversation and give you follow-ups. So no more taking notes or losing track of next steps are getting busted for being high at work. Join over 90,000 businesses already using Quo, Quo, Quo, take it easy. Formerly open phone to stay ahead. Go to quo.com slash Burr to get started with a free trial and get 20% off your first six months. That's QUO.com slash Burr. You can even bring your existing number with you for free.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Quo, no miss calls, no miss customers. You know what's funny about that mizzen in Maine? I mean, the genius of that is they realized somewhere along the line that our food supply had been turned into poison. And no matter how much you get on an elliptical, your body and your joints are just going to give out before the poison you eat every day is going to. You're going to become a fat fuck.
Starting point is 00:31:30 All that shit that they're talking about uncomfortable clothes means you're fucking out of shape. That's why you're sweating. That's why everything sucks. All right? So get in shape. When you're in shape, your clothes feel good. That's a slippery slope. Slippery slope. Or you get in shape and you wear Mizzen and Maine and think how good your man tits will feel. I don't know. I have no idea. All I know is that when I'm a fat fuck, my clothes don't feel good. All right, let's plow ahead. Okay, this is some fantastic information that we got from a listener. Now, as I mentioned before, you know, the ancient Greeks, there's two mindsets during a debate, okay?
Starting point is 00:32:17 The Philosophia, Philanokia, is the love of victory. Your ego is attached to the point that you made, to the point that even if somebody gives you new information that debunks your old information, your pride won't let you let it go. if your brain is in the philanocia which is what i'm trying to become which is the love of knowledge you're not married to your opinions you can actually get new information and be like oh i didn't realize that you're right and this is a great example of this a few weeks ago i was talking about war of the worlds i used it as an example and i quoted what i learned in my college from a professor that told me the original broadcast of War of the Worlds. They just broke into it.
Starting point is 00:33:07 They tried to trick people. People believed it. They got so freaked out. They never thought to turn the channel. Some people actually killed themselves. That is what I've heard my whole life. I never bothered to look it up. Anyway, this person says, war of the worlds.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Bill, I wanted to clear up a few misconceptions about the war of the world's radio. presentation that you mentioned. And this guy's cool because he said a few misconceptions. It was all of my misconceptions. It was my entire conception of War of the Worlds. I was completely wrong. Listen to this. A few of the things you pointed out have been fabricated and made up over time.
Starting point is 00:33:54 The broadcast wasn't intended to trick anyone. There were repeated announcements of a radio show that had to do an alien invasion. A small and debatably significant portion of the audience was carryover from another popular radio show on another station. That show ended a few minutes after the hour and those who switched over to the channel, War of the World's World War of the Worlds was being broadcast on were met with a fake news report. Only a third of the listeners even believed it to be Martians. They were listening to
Starting point is 00:34:33 it casually. They assumed that it was another invasion from another country, given that it was 1939. A couple of years before Pearl Harbor was, what year was Pearl Harbor? 1940, December 7th, right? So a year before that. Newspapers were growing threatened by growing popularity of radio,
Starting point is 00:34:54 so ran with the story and fabricated every aspect of it in order to make the claim that the radio should not be as trusted as print. They sensationalized it. Hitler even agreed with this notion, making note of the hysteria. Oh, would you look at that? Doesn't that sound familiar?
Starting point is 00:35:15 Fake news. Fake news. But this was actual fake news. And then newspapers exaggerating. This is crazy. This is just been going on forever. there is there's no actual records of anyone killing themselves the story of hysteria has become much larger than the hysteria ever was thanks for the free podcast dude thank you so much for this
Starting point is 00:35:45 i actually looked i mean looked it up on the internet but i mean i think google is as long as you don't click on somebody's thing they backed up everything you were saying my whole not my whole life. Since I was in college over 30 years ago, 35 years ago, I had a professor that went along with what they saw and told this to my class. And I'm like, well, I'm in college and I'm paying for this. This must be true. Turns out it was completely false. That is wild. But when you break down the reasons for it, it totally makes sense and, you know, is really relevant to today. So there goes all my shit. Get off the internet, man. Start reading books. I don't know. If you would have guessed the number one commandment that is broken, you got to say it's lying.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Right? It's kind of the easiest commandment to break. A lot of the other ones involve planning. Killing somebody or whatever. Anyway, let's get out of that, Meyer. All right, well, thank you for that information. I had no idea. And now I can pass that on to the next person who used War of the Worlds. Now I'm waiting for the Emperor's new clothes.
Starting point is 00:37:06 This is a big thing. The Emperor actually had clothes on. All right, Glenn Gary. Hey, Billy Bleach Balls. Come on, man. Don't I have enough hang-ups? I'll tell you what I did do this week. That was amazing.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Is I got a motorcycle that I'm going to sell. It's not my Harley. I absolutely love that thing. I had a smaller one, a little Royal Enfield, you know. And it was what I kind of got my feet wet back on, riding that thing. And I don't need it now because I just, all I do is ride the Harley. so I'm going to get rid of it. But I had to ride it back to my house
Starting point is 00:37:56 so I could give it to a buddy of mine so he could sell it. And it was like a 20-mile ride through like, you know, the valley. And I had a great fucking time. I had a great time riding that thing. It's severely underpowered to ride in traffic. I can tell you that.
Starting point is 00:38:19 that and what was funny was when I got closer to my neighborhood, I got off the main drag and I was kind of cutting through like the hills in the valley and thinking that that would be safer than being on like the main drag was not the case. There's just all of these blind turns and everything. So I was just hugging the curb on my side, which is great because this work truck, you know, cut the corner a little bit sharp. I still would have been fine, but it just would have been closer than I needed.
Starting point is 00:38:57 But it was a lot of fun. I am really becoming a fucking motorcycle guy. I, I, uh, the smart part of my brain tells me not to, but then the part that needs to fucking chill out enjoys it because there's something about it where you have to concentrate the whole time you're doing it. It just clears your brain.
Starting point is 00:39:26 But whatever, I'm just going to continue to ride around the airport. I'll be smart. Somebody was telling me, though, that there was one of the criteria for becoming a fighter pilot back in the day was the question, did you ever own a motorcycle, and they wanted you to say yes, and then when they said, did you get rid of it? they wanted you to say yes. So they wanted you have the balls to ride a motorcycle, but also be smart enough to get rid of it.
Starting point is 00:39:57 They're like, all right, this is the guy. I don't know if that litmus test worked. Is that how you say it? But it's interesting either way. All right, Glenn Gary, everybody. Hey, Billy Bleach Balls. During your Glenn Gary run on Broadway, you expressed excitement about the experience
Starting point is 00:40:12 that there was much you wanted to share in the podcast but said you would speak more about it after the production was over. A few weeks back, you got into this a little bit during your conversation with Carol Leifer. She was one of my favorite guests of all time, man. She was fantastic. This person goes on to say,
Starting point is 00:40:34 it's fascinating to hear the inside baseball of how a stage ensemble refined their collective process as the production went on, how choices are made to challenge one another or to help each other out, please consider sharing more stories or insights to how the Glenn Gary experience has changed your approach to acting. You got to work with some of the best in the business.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Yes, I did. So let's hear about it. Also, it's been a minute since you've done stand-up in central Florida. Yes, it has. It has. I love Florida. I mean, just the fucking fact that you guys coexist with alligators is pretty goddamn amazing. Alligators, hurricanes, I mean, that is not a state for the week.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Rising oceans. Anyway, please consider coming to Melbourne, Florida. It's on the coast about an hour southeast of Orlando. we have a great theater called the King Theater, the King Center. Oh, do you? I'm going to look that up. I love an old theater.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Carlin Seinfeld, Gaff again. Well, there's a murder's row of comedians. And more have all played there. It would be great for you to come through to spew your thoughtful ignorance. You know, that's one of the best compliments I've ever gotten on my act. I think our best descriptions.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Thoughtful ignorance. That's a good name for a special, but you already did it, so I can't use it. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Bill Burr, thoughtful ignorance. It's a little too highbrow. It's a little too clever.
Starting point is 00:42:35 That's probably why I didn't come up with it and you did. Anyway, did I mention that I saw Adam Sandler? Did I? Did I mention I saw him at Madison Square? garden if you want a fucking great vibe at a show go to an adam sandler show um that guy's the best all right um and that's the second time i've seen him do uh the chris farley song i don't know how he gets i get choked up every time i watch that i don't know how he gets through it he actually
Starting point is 00:43:10 knew the guy um i was just a huge fan and i get choked up every time i'm I watch it. All right. Grateful Dead show recording. Oh, bringing up music. I love music. Bill, what are you working on right now? I am working on my single-handed 16th note.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Still doing that. And my eventual playlist that I want to be able to play along to and not have any fatigue, this is what I've been going with. And I just sort of play to these songs in my head at a slower tempo. But the playlist that is named James Gadsden is a Bill Withers song called Kissing My Love. Then there's this incredible song by Rufus that later became Rufus and Shaka Khan. You Got the Love, which is incredible just for drummers in general, because it starts off with quarter notes that then go to eighth notes,
Starting point is 00:44:16 that then go to 16th notes, then go back to eighth notes, and then it rides out with the 16th notes. All of this stuff, the tempo is between like 95 and 100 BPMs. And it's played with one hand. And the last one is the Dave Grohl guest drumming with Killing Joke,
Starting point is 00:44:39 the Death and Resurrection Show. So I've been playing those beats at like, you know, 75, 80 BPMs. Like I start at like 70, 75, work up to like 80. And then, you know, it starts, things start getting tight in my arms. So I stop so I don't hurt myself. And that's what I've been, that's what I've been working on as opposed to the, you know, and then the usual just sort of noodling around these 16th note
Starting point is 00:45:14 triplet licks that I have tying them all together and then and I got like these these you know the classic quads and then playing the bottom left right kick but as 16th notes
Starting point is 00:45:32 with a quarter high hat that I got from this who did I get that from that was an exercise I saw I can't remember I can't remember where I get this shit from but that's what I've been working on I'm babbling here let's get back to the thing here
Starting point is 00:45:49 all right grateful dead show oh oh my god grateful dead show recording listen to this one hey Mr. Tangerine man dude I gotta be the fucking love these things are
Starting point is 00:46:06 I got that's just it's perfect Hey, Mr. Tangerie, man. I got to tell that one to Nia. She's going to love that one. On the 9-8 edition, I was hoping that was some sort of time signature. Of the Monday morning podcast, you mentioned that you had seen the dead at Sullivan Stadium in 1989. Great summer for them.
Starting point is 00:46:31 It must have been an unreal environment. It was incredible. It was incredible. that was like um i just got to be like a spectator and like you know you had like the people that were just catching the local dead show and then you had but i also sort of wandered into the actual traveling economy of deadheads and was you know was watching them you know selling their wares be it weed or clothes they had made drum circles and you know before drum circles became a bad thing.
Starting point is 00:47:14 I don't know what happened. Somehow drum circles got tied in with like emasculated fathers or, I don't know. And it was in the middle of Connecticut. It just really went off the rails. It's like anything. It starts off. It's cool.
Starting point is 00:47:31 Then it gets a little wind in its sale. It meets maximum sort of exposure. And then it just ends up at the mall. You may or may not be aware of the extensive Grateful Dead taping culture and extensive catalog of recordings of all their live performances. I was not. Most of it exists on the Internet Archive. I went and found a quality recording of your show here for listening. You're listening pleasure and nostalgia.
Starting point is 00:48:02 Get the fuck out of here. it claims it looks it looks i see oh seven oh two no no that's not a date i was oh seven two would that be july second i remember it was the summer and i saw uh that keyboard player was with them still before he unfortunately passed away um always a sad thing this nothing's that's just the saddest thing ever to me is a great musician on the road passing away in like a hotel room i think that's what happened with that guy this happened a lot of people um and a few comedians unfortunately um well i will definitely check that out all right jesus lincoln and jfk fun conspiracy oh my god dude what like like what are you doing to me on this one all right this
Starting point is 00:49:06 this is just combining like uh did trump need to sign off on this one like the president signs off on on mergers like this jes lincoln and jfk fund conspiracy hey there babbling billy boy burr sometime a year or more ago you mentioned a president taking on the banking system which prompted me to write in eventually i figured i would share my homegrown conspiracy thing on why this doesn't happen that often. In a way, the thesis statement is, if you mess with the dough, you've got to go. This is how I line up Jesus, Abraham Lincoln,
Starting point is 00:49:52 and John F. Kennedy. Dude, this conversation right here makes me miss day drinking. Because this is the kind of shit you would walk into. If you just could get that quiet guy at the end of the bar to open up, this is what it ended up coming out. All right, with Jesus, no one really cared that this weird dude out in the wilderness was calling himself the son of God. Healing the sick and lame, raising the dead, and turning dirty food water into Manashevitz. Is that how you spell it? Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:50:30 But as soon as he kicked over the money chargers table, which is Matthew 21-12-17, is that how you say? They had him pinned to a piece of wood by the next Friday. Oh, Jesus, he fucked with the dough, so he had to go. Abraham Lincoln created the greenback to fund the Union Army during the Civil War, which had its problems. Then he established the federal banking system around 1863 and 1864. His administration faced opposition from a chaotic and fragmented system of thousands of private state-chartered banks. And we see what happened to him, shot in the head in public. All right, two-for-two here.
Starting point is 00:51:26 These are people that are dying and they both messed. I don't quite understand what, I mean, when Lincoln did this, I mean, this was like, you just said, it was a chaotic and fragmented system of thousands of private state fund-chartered banks. But I guess they all got together again. I don't know. JFK signed executive order 11110 in 1963, which gave executive. permission to the U.S. tragedy to print currency
Starting point is 00:52:03 backed by silver. These are also known as a Kennedy Notes and our collectibles nowadays. Again, shot in the head in public. Rattle these three nuggets around your fair
Starting point is 00:52:19 freckled dome. If you're still thinking about getting a dog, I recommend going with the German shepherd. We were thinking about that today. Great family dog. Your work on Star Wars and as an animated turtle are stellar. Thank you. Thanks for the laughs.
Starting point is 00:52:34 My best to the lovely knee and the kids. And as always, go fuck yourself. You know what? Now that I'm off the internet, I have time to read about stuff like that. The Enzo Ferrari book is amazing, by the way. What really is amazing is I find with all of these super successful driven men in history that changed an industry, you know, and become an icon. And it's like they die, but their name never does. You know, there's this theory out there that behind every great man
Starting point is 00:53:20 is a great woman. I don't know about that. I feel like behind every great man is a great woman. I feel like behind every great man is a bitter, resentful woman that you didn't spend enough time with. I mean, something has to give. Unless you marry a woman as driven as you, like Bill Clinton did with Hillary,
Starting point is 00:53:45 like, she's there for the status. she didn't marry Bill Clinton to go to brunch all right she married him to get into the fucking Illuminati the Bilderberg group and all of that she is like they had two peas in a fucking pod but all these other guys
Starting point is 00:54:11 they just always have like some sort of you know just awful marriage failed marriage or whatever And that's what I'm finding with, like, Enzo Ferrari. That he married a cafe singer and sometime prostitute. Hey, the guy liked to have a good time. He liked fast cars and fast women, just like that guy in stripes.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Anyway, I always get sad when I read that. Oh, Billy the Romantic. I always want them to have both. Like, you couldn't make a Ferrari and keep your woman happy. Those beautiful cars, convertibles, you couldn't take her for a ride. You know, you're not building the cars. They're down there building them. Take her out to breakfast.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Make her laugh. Anyway, 43-year-old single. guy. Hey, Bill, I'm a 43-year-old and trying to figure some things out. Hey, dude, I didn't get married until I was 45. He goes, I got divorced about five years ago and then spent a full year completely alone, not even a single date. I don't think that's a bad thing. You know, you were married for five years. You gave yourself 12 months to fucking, you got to remember who you are. You know, there's a lot of fucking shit out there about women losing themselves in relationships and coming out and having to, you know, get back in touch with themselves, which is 100% true, but that's a two-way street. It happens both people. If you're in a relationship that doesn't work out, both of you guys got your head spun around one way or the other. So I recommend being alone like that. That's good. The person goes on to say, after that, I wound up in a really toxic relationship that dragged on for almost two years. All right,
Starting point is 00:56:18 now you got you got to start looking in the mirror there. maybe go to therapy figure out what you're doing here said i've been out of that for about a year now and i haven't been with anyone since being trying to put the work in on myself i go to a boxing gym about four days a week drop 20 pounds i like this seeing a counselor twice a month there you go dude i could take some advice from you i need to do that and i've got a really good job where I supervise about 25 people on a plumbing and welding crew. I also play
Starting point is 00:56:51 and write the music in a metal band. I'm sorry, dude. Are you living the fucking dream right now? You got a great job. You're boxing, you drop 20 pounds, you're talking to somebody to work on yourself.
Starting point is 00:57:10 And you write music and play in a metal band, dude. It's just like he said think lamb of god pantara and i don't know this band amman amarth i'm going to check them out if they're in the vein of lamb of god and pantera chris adler viny paul um art cruise now with lamb of god see i know them all man um but here's the thing i've never felt more depressed in my life yeah you know why dude because you're still a human being you need to find love that's all right that's all right you know it's good that you know that he said most days i'm just going through
Starting point is 00:57:56 the motions and putting on a fake persona to get through the day but when i'm home the feeling of desperation and loneliness is almost too much i've got people you could technically call friends but i never hang out with them well why don't you hang i'm terribly introverted and deal with pretty severe social anxiety all right well this is good you're talking to a counselor and why don't you do this why don't you start with just one hang a month one day a month you i love that you have all of this anxiety but you're playing in a band i mean this is this is very typical of you know people that perform i still have a lot of social anxiety and I go to events and just, you know, I want to, you know, air quote, want to get the fuck out of there.
Starting point is 00:58:49 The reality is I don't know how to, like, do it. So I get in my head and then I'm just, you know, I'm a mess. So I relate to that. This person goes on to say, I've been listening to your podcast for years and I'm looking for some advice what would you tell a guy who's done all this work on the outside but still feels like he's barely holding it together on the inside appreciate your time and thanks for all the laughs go fuck yourself dude i think you're doing amazing um that i was going to say to talk to a professional it seems like you're doing that maybe you know just i would be if you want to grow
Starting point is 00:59:39 This is just my opinion, and I'm not a professional. Obviously, I have found that you have to give yourself permission to fail. So you have this anxiety. I would just, you know, once a month, once a week, whatever you can handle. Like, I am going, like, I literally, back in the day, I used to say to myself, I am going to go into the deli and I am going to make small talk with the person behind the register
Starting point is 01:00:13 and by small talk all it literally was was just saying hey how are you you know and they would say good or whatever and if they said you know
Starting point is 01:00:28 if I said hey how's it going and they said good and then if they said something back yeah yeah I'm doing good I'm doing good. You? Yeah, I'm fine. I would count that. And that would be a victory. And then, like, I would just use that to just expand. It's the same thing like you got a band, right? And let's say that you're selling tickets in the town that you're in. But the next town over, they don't know you. So that's the next step. Let's be known in two towns. And then three towns and then in this county. And then in this city and then in this state. And then in this state. And that's how you do it. I mean, obviously, you don't have to be that big with your social life. So you just sort of baby step your way out of this stuff.
Starting point is 01:01:17 And, you know, I actually think that the anxiety and all of that, a lot of times that's what steers you in to performing, being in a band, being a comedian, being an actor, or whatever. Giving tours of your city and you're the person on the microphone. It's like human beings need some sort of interaction, human interaction. So it's actually a positive thing that you're depressed. If you weren't depressed and you were spending this amount of time alone, you might be a psycho. So the fact that you're depressed, this is all, you know, I think normal and your soul telling you,
Starting point is 01:02:04 that this person by yourself is not who you are. You're actually a really social person and you're actually going to be good at it. It's just whatever happened to you as a kid, which you'll work out through counseling, you just need to push through it. And I've found with therapy that there's a lot of shit in your head
Starting point is 01:02:23 that you think it's a mountain because it happened to you when you were a little kid. So your universe was really small, so these problems seemed gigantic. And by the time you're an adult, it's, it really ends up just stepping up onto a curb. And I still do this day, I will make a mountain out of a molehill. I get all in my head that these, these ideas, these things, I just, I make rules of my head that I can't do that.
Starting point is 01:02:54 I can't do it. I can't do it. And I have worked really hard to push that voice down, to tell it to shut the fuck up. you know anything i could do like if i would think something i would you know i read things to cancel it out loud you know which was a weird period in my life because i would be walking down the street next to people and all of a sudden randomly i would just say out loud no fuck that so you're not alone dude i am in a lot of ways uh still where you're at um and and it's caused like problems in my relationship because my wife is very social and she sees who I really am at home and then I go out and I I pull back or I get negative and I start trash and I go to my safe space you know and I start trashing wherever we go and it ruins her good time and then she gets mad at me and then I get mad bumble and it just becomes this fucking nightmare so I've really had to work on being like take a deep breath you know no one's going to beat the
Starting point is 01:04:03 fuck out of you. No one's going to hurt you. Nothing bad's going to happen. You're literally just going out to dinner. I've literally had to do that. So, you know, if I can do it, so can you. I think you're doing the right thing. You're putting the work in. And you're going to get on the other side of it. And then one day, like I'm trying to help you, you're going to try to help somebody else. And that's how it works. Okay. So, you know, good luck to you. I think he can do it. And I'm really psyched that you're playing a fucking metal band. I think that's cool as shit. You actually write in the music.
Starting point is 01:04:38 That's pretty awesome. All right, there you go. There's my positive words for the week. That is the podcast for this week. Enjoy Monday night football tonight. Whatever you like doing. I'm telling you, man. Fucking.
Starting point is 01:04:52 How about you just start, you have your phone upstairs and you go downstairs. And you just leave it up there for a few hours. You know, what's exciting is you come up to it. How many text messages did I get? Instead of having a response. to him and then he can just knock them all out and i don't know maybe go play with your kid or go for a walk go play drums you know go on your backyard lay on your back and look up at the fucking clouds
Starting point is 01:05:16 something that doesn't involve comments and being judged and anxiety and enjoy the fucking day that's it all right go fuck yourselves i'll uh what am i going to do i'll check in on you on Thursday. All right.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.