Monday Morning Podcast - States, World Series, Gym Clothes | Monday Morning Podcast 11-3-25

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

Bill rambles about the states, the World Series, and gym clothes. Hydrow:  Skip the gym, not the workout—stay on track with the new Hydrow Arc, Hydrow’s most advanced rower yet.  For a limited time, go to www.Hydrow.com and use code BURR to get $100 off any Hydrow rower—including Arc.  ZipRecruiter:  Try for free at www.ZipRecruiter.com/BURR  Helix:  Go to www.HelixSleep.com/BURR for 20% off sitewide. Cornbread Hemp:   Listeners can save 30% on their first order at www.cornbreadhemp.com/BURR  and use code BURR at checkout. 

Arc Raiders, everybody. Thank you to Embark Studios, bringing us their new game, Arc Raiders. A multiplayer extraction adventure video game set in a lethal future earth. Explore an immersive post-apocalyptic world scarred by conflict and reclaimed by nature. A living surface where weather, enemies, and shifting conditions heighten the constant threat of Arc. Communities are forced below ground to survive. Jesus, this is amazing. Scavage, survive, thrive in a new extraction adventure.

Arc Raiders, available now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X, S, and PC, rated T for T. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, November 3rd, 2025. What's going on?

How are you? Oh my God, it's the day before the election. You got to get out there, got to vote. I don't know what's going on in your state, but this is what I want to say. I want to say this right now. I respect your state. I don't have a problem with your state because we are the United States of America.

Okay? It is a melting pot and all the other bullshit that they say that fucking hardcore certain people for some reason don't believe while they say they believe it. They're actually advertising on TV out here in California, which one of my favorite parts of the World Series was them showing hot chicks fucking rollerblading or whatever, skating out in Santa Monica and Venice. It's like that's the way they used to sell this state. It was called the California Dream. Okay. And I got to tell you, it still exists out here.

Okay. But like every other state, we are in difficult economic times. And it has nothing to do with blue or red. ties as much as it has to do with industry leaving this country because they didn't want to pay the working man a working wage okay that's why everybody's driving Uber and and taking pictures of their food because there's no factories left to work it anyway they are they are openly advertising openly advertising um You know, one of these things.

Vote yes on 50 to prevent Republicans from stealing another election. And they are literally saying that on television. This isn't the internet. Or if it's the internet, you're like, all right, that's just some over-the-top stuff to get me to click on it. But they are literally saying that on TV where there's rules of libel and slander. You can get sued. And they are just openly saying, it's just fucking unbelievable to me. You know?

And then the other side is saying the same thing in their state. which means that stealing elections is happening. They're not even hide. It's like gambling on sports. Like it's legal now. Weed is legal. Tattoos are removable. Like I don't understand what the fuck is going on out there.

But like somebody in both parties needs to stand up and be like, guys, we have to stop this. Or we're going to, this is going to be a civil war. And this is only going to be good for billioners. All right, everybody else is going to fucking suck. We're literally, we're going to kill each other in the fucking streets. So some fucking hairplug nerd can have more rockets to shoot to Mars. Or we could all just chill out and be like, hey man, you know, there's all different ways you can live your life. And just because I choose to live my life one way, I'm free to disagree with the way you live.

your life, but I don't want to prevent you from doing it. If you're out there, right, you've got a four-wheeler and a fucking semi-automatic weapon and you want to shoot them fucking squirrels full of fucking lead to start your day on your own proper tie and you don't hit anybody, I don't give a fuck. Have at it. You want to take that engine out of your fucking F-250 and stick it in the back of your bass boat. Fucking have a great time. All right? If you're in the fucking city, you know, you want to walk around having a beard, tits, and a dress, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. Whatever you want to do is cool. Just don't hurt anybody. Just don't hurt anybody. Everybody respects everybody. You know,

like this fucking, I'm telling you, dude, the fucking internet is evil. It is turning everybody against each other. You're even seeing it in stand-up comedy now. Comedians go after other comedians on podcasts. They literally say the person's name. They trash them. I do interviews now. People try to get me to trash like other fucking comment.

I don't do that. I don't want to fucking do that. I already feel bad enough. Like earlier this year I did an interview and somebody goes, you know, what do you think about comedians having presidential candidates And I knew who they were talking about. It's like, I don't want to fucking, I don't, I just wish I could go back in time and be like, hey, man, I don't want to fucking, I'm not doing this. Okay, everybody has a podcast.

They do their podcast how they want to do their podcast. I fucking sit there by myself in my underwear talking myself like a fucking lunatic. All right? So, guys, we're all Americans. Whether you like it or not, we are. We're all Americans. Let's fucking chill out. Let's fucking chill out.

Let's stop having these cunts wind us up. You know all these nerds that own these fucking social media networks? They're literally bullying the entire population now. They're all, they're flicking the back of your ear. Every time you go on a fucking social media platform, you're letting a nerd. A bunch of goddamn nerds. Nerds fucking flick the back of your ear and ruin your morning. ruin your cup of coffee with some phony shit that a bot just sent you and then you and somebody else

okay take the bait and you start yelling at somebody else that you would vibe with in the parking lot outside of the forum going to a footh fighters concert you'd fucking have a couple of drinks now you're on the internet and you're fucking ruining each other's morning so some nerd some nerd can can fucking go to Turkey and get a fucking hair system can get a bigger fucking boat can do whatever I don't hear anybody out there on the left of the right that is that is like you know

running this country saying anything about bringing people together I don't hear anybody on CNN of Fox News doing that shit they are fucking ripping us apart and I don't even think there's any goal other than let's get clicks and let's fucking make money and to see that seeping into the standup comedy world dude like I don't know

I'm not pointing any fingers and like I shouldn't answer that question I remember when that person asked me that question I was thinking like oh they want me to trash this person I was like so I tried to answer it as like eloquently as I could but I'm in the future I have to say shit out loud because I have a medium brain I'm not dumb, I'm not smart

I got the regular brain so if I don't say it out loud like I'm done with sugar I'm going to the gym all right if I don't say it out loud it doesn't fucking happen if I just think it

it just sort of just seeps into the fucking ether so that's what I'm going to do from here on out yeah anyway anyway it's been a hell of a fucking

fucking weak. Did you see that shit where they allegedly caught these mercenaries that kidnapped some Venezuelan soldiers put on their uniforms and they were plotting allegedly to attack a U.S. military ship to start a war down there? Like the level of no coverage that that got. but I get it now I'll tell you right now but if the CIA tried to put together

a comedy festival down in Venezuela oh my God I mean that they would have got shit for as long as the fucking festival lasted anyway

anyway oh Jesus oh Jesus Mary and Joseph speaking of that I went in the target yesterday because I had to buy

some more T-shirts and some Epsons salt, just a total 100% old guy going into a fucking box store, right? Because I put these pants that I usually dry clean. I just, ah, they're fucking, you know, they're like chinos. I'm not fucking dry cleaning these things. So I threw them in, and it's the first time they've been washed, and they were blue. And I washed everything on cold. I don't know what happened.

Got all over my T-shirts. They actually look kind of cool. They look a little tie-died. they're gym t-shirts now I used to call them changing the oil t-shirts back in the day when I used to change my oil you know what I mean

that's what kills me about my old truck the 68 F-100 I want to change the oil I have the oil filter wrench I have the whole thing it makes me feel like you know I'm kind of a man right

but however whoever fucking designed the Ford that year the frame right with right where the the drain plug is on the oil pan this piece of metal of the frame is right underneath it so it just hits the frame and then goes all over your fucking garage

and I talked to somebody about that one time and they were like well that's just how they built them back there like the left hand didn't know what the fucking right hand was doing it's like really didn't somebody just sit down and draw this whole thing that doesn't make sense to me anyway plowing ahead. So I go into Target yesterday, November 2nd. Okay.

And over the speaker, they were playing Rocking Around the Christmas Tree. It was 48 hours. It wasn't even 48 hours after Halloween. It was like 36 hours after Halloween. Rocking around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday. Booy.

do um i always wanted who did the little slide in the guitar one i do sounded like less paul to me making a little money you know um just completely blowing past thanksgiving as they always do because they haven't figured out a fucking way grocery stores are the only ones who figured out a way on how to make money off of the genocide of Native Americans, okay? Now, thanks.

Thanksgiving, selfishly is my favorite holiday, all right, provided you don't go anywhere. Everybody's just going to sit down and eat, going to go watch a little football. You watch the dog show Westminster with my wife. in the morning. I go out on the back porch. Maybe I'll have a cigar, but I'm back not smoking again, you know, going another 100 days here. Yeah, that's what Thanksgiving is. And there's just no songs. There's nothing you need to buy. And it's also all over the place. It's like

whatever you want it to be. There's not like you have to get a Christmas tree. I guess the turkey's the Christmas tree. You know, and then it comes down to all of this stuff. And, uh, you know, you know what I don't like about Thanksgiving? I don't like people who don't cook and then they come on like they're on one of those fucking food network cooking shows. And they start talking about how the mac and cheese has to be right. It has to be right or what? You're going to continue not bringing anything to the fucking party?

You're going to show up with a bottle of wine and some fucking napkin holders. Go fuck yourself. You got that shit on the way over. You got that shit on the way over. Claire there's always there's always some loud mouth broad

judging the fucking food right the narcissist of the family and everybody's sort of like placating and just fucking looking over did it please this person I say this this is the year

this is the year I say you know you can't tell the person to go fuck themselves but because any sort of attention they like what you have to do is you just have to fucking get everybody on the same page to be neutral if everybody can just be neutral with the narcissist in your family they will be they will leave in about an hour and seven minutes and they'll make a big fucking show of it and everybody just has to you just have to hold it till they fucking drive away, turn the corner, brake lights disappear, and then everybody can

laugh. That's how you do it. You know, I've actually thought about ways of, you know, I'm very inspired by these ice vans. You know, I feel like if applied correctly, we could really improve this country. And I would start with sociopaths and narcissists. All right. And I think one of the first ways, this is how I would get narcissists. I did a joke in my act how the first time I ever went to an air wand,

which is like for people who Gelsens isn't even good enough for them. Like Gelsens is like, that's like the top shelf grocery store. I mean, that is the highest level of cancer-causing food that I was aware of that you can buy and the poison food supply of this, this arguably the greatest nation on the planet ranked 59th in human rights.

Bring us your prore. Bring us your downtrodden. We'll stick him in a van and fucking throw him in alligator alcatraz. Air one is the next level. There's always another level. I always go back to Delta Airlines.

I don't give a fuck what you've done how long you've served the country if you've got crutches, how many limbs you're missing, I don't give a fuck. If you think you're getting on that plane first, there's always a new group that they have created.

I mean, Delta Airlines to a psychotic level has applied the chasing the carrot the theorem I just completely forgot what the fuck I was even talking about I was talking about I'll air one I went to my book

I was getting a cup of coffee with a friend of mine at this place in the valley and this whole little mall thing had all of this elevated shit that I knew my wife was going to like you know for all you know for the cleanest twats in LA you know anytime there's like a lulu lemon you know there's certain stores that they put in and then you know that there's going to be like

a fucking 48 dollar cheeseburger somewhere in there or like fucking you know 17 dollar mac and cheese like just basic food you know that they they juzzi little back in the day was truffle oil he put a little truffle oil in it and he could add like $40 to the fucking bill so he goes they got an he was telling me what they had there because the coffee was really good he goes oh you know they got an air one here too i go get the fuck out of you like no i don't i didn't know what an air one was i was like what the fuck is an air one and he goes oh yeah he goes it's like fucking top shelf grocery store so dude i went in there and i'm not going to lie to you like the food dye that they had in the meat was incredible it was the

reddest, juiciest looking fucking steaks I'd ever seen him. I felt like Fred Flintstone. I'm like, what is this? You know what they should have had in Air One? They should have had like dry ice on the floor. Like you're walking out in the middle of like Led Zeppelin, no quarter. You know what I mean? Like it was like rock star level food.

And I remember I went down the aisle and I saw this woman walking up the aisle and she had a sweatshirt on that said, namaste okay now if i was running shit if all of my friends were dictators and i wanted to ruin my own country and go for a third term and i had the ice vans that's the person i would put in the van and that's how i would get them i would have i would write spiritual shit on mass produced clothes and the first thing I would do is people that buy clothes that compliment themselves or describe their personality

you know like t-shirts that say I give no fucks I remember seeing this woman in an airport you know and she had like on yoga pants you know looking like a fucking horry test pilot about ready to get on this fucking plate right and I'm sorry I get the hiccups

And written all over her pants was like, you know, big heart, but give no fuck, fucking social justice, more. All of those people who actually buy mass-produced clothes that compliment the person that wears them. And it's like mass-produced. And they feel like it's a unique statement about them. Like they think it's about them in the fucking van. In the van. Now, I'm not saying this would cure the problems that we have in this country, but I was just wondering, you know, I would be open to it.

Like, this is just a theory. Let's stick these fucking cunts, sociopaths, people who mirror your emotions, you know, in the van. In the van. And here's another thing, too. I'd get rid of the alligators. Okay? Isn't it enough we make bags and shoes out of them? Do we also have to have them work for free as prison guards? You know?

And I don't want to deal with the uprising when they try to unionize and get involved in any of that shit. So what I would do is I would just set those motherfuckers free. Although, if you wanted to monetize them, if long as you cut them, minute gave the alligator something that would be a great show because only a narcissist would think that they could get across that moat and the alligators wouldn't eat them because they're a fucking god or whatever but i would do that and then that would be the first group i'd get rid of those people and then any fucking billionaire nerd that now has a hair system, is taking

jujitsu, you know, and is walking around with a Botox altered fucking trophy wife in the van. I'm not saying anything of this shit would work. This is

what I think would work. You're not allowed to comment on anything on the internet. You want to make The comment, talk to the person in your fucking house, the way it used to happen. You would watch TV and then you'd look at somebody going, what the fuck is this shit? This is really the direction we're going? That's how you did it.

And more times than not, the person you were with being like, well, then fucking turn the channel. Dude, are you really going to do this again tonight? Put a fucking game on. Right? and then I would outlaw all hate groups you want to hate people you do it as an individual you're not allowed to join a group

no more fucking groups be man enough to be racist by yourself yeah that is it that is it okay no more gated communities you want to fuck everybody over

you're not living behind a gate ain't happening you can have a gate around your house but someone can drive up to it can drive up to your house and be like hey um that's just my thoughts it's just my thoughts it's just the things i like to talk about oh by the way

we got to talk here we got to talk dodgers blue jays holy shit first of all that was one of the greatest world series i have ever seen um i think i'd have to go back to the twins versus the fucking braves 1991 a buddy of mine was comparing it to that game seven just the entire series first of Well, shout out to the Blue Jays and the team that they have that never say die team that they had. I got so much respect for that organization and all of the players on that team. It's absolutely heartbreaking that they ended up losing that thing. But everybody, myself included, I was like, hey, you know, I think they'll give them a series. I said I think they'd give them a series, but I still had the Dodgers winning.

in five or six I thought the Blue Jays would take one or two because like you guys I'm not going to put it on me like a lot of people I was enamored with what Otani did why wouldn't you be in that game for

the closeout game in the NLCS and then for the Dodgers like was it Yamamoto finally got his name out the guy won three fucking games I didn't look, but like, he has to be the MVP of that series. And there was just so many people, Freddie Freeman, it's just fucking money.

Obviously, Otani. I know Muki Betz was struggling, but like, that guy's still a beast. Game 7 had that big hit. Also started the double play to win it. And Miguel Rojas hitting that fucking homer. Oh my God, when he hit that homer in the ninth inning, I was on the phone. with a friend of mine her daughter was staying over our house

friends with my daughter so she called to say good night and I was going and I was right in the middle I'm like wow the Blue Jays are going to win this and I was talking on the phone I'm like yeah they're you know

they had dinner everything's cool they're in the other room watching blah blah and then as I'm talking to her telling her that everything's okay with her kid Miguel hits the home run and I just go oh my God she starts going what what I go oh nothing

I'm watching the game. The Dodgers just tied it up in the top of the night. I was like, oh, my God. I just kept saying, oh, my God. That was the quietest, like, how quiet that fucking stadium. I haven't heard Toronto that quiet since the last time the Maple Leafs were in the playoffs. You know, that grassy knoll, they all stand out, and they're all jumping up and down, and they got the scarves and the flags

and then they just start slowly walking away. Like Linus, waiting for the Great Pumpkin. I don't know. I keep saying Dante, Bo Bichette hitting that fucking three-run homer. And then the Dodgers coming back. And then they get another run. And then it was four to three fucking Blue Jays.

I just like lost. Oh, my God. And then the fucking bases are loaded. In the bottom of the ninth, they bring in that other guy. at second base. They bring the infield in. Hits it to second base.

The guy's running in to fucking win the World Series, and the guy can't get it out of his glove, and then he bribles it, and then he guns it. Takes the fucking catcher off the plate for half a second, and he got like one spike of his cleat on to home plate before that kid slid in. I think Glaven brought this point.

I never even thought about this saying Homeplate is the hardest plate to slide into because it's flush with the ground. I never thought of that. So you've got to try to get your foot down without slowing down, creating too much friction. That's why the head first slide is probably the way to go. If you don't mind slamming into all of that catcher gear.

I still don't understand why the catcher can't block the plate. You know what I mean? I don't understand that. I don't understand why there's three seconds on the defensive plate. player in basketball, I have to walk away from the goal, which I'm covering. This doesn't make any sense. Jesus Christ, how about that fucking guy hitting a 68-yard field goal? Kicking the moon balls, the floaties.

It's unbelievable. It is just unbelievable the difference in conditioning of a field goal kicker from this season versus three years ago. I'll tell you, I saw him hit, I saw him hit a 72 yarder in pregame. 68 yard fucking field goal. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. The fucking ball was on their own 42. Right?

No wait. Yeah. 50 yards. Then you add 10 for the end zone. then you've got to add eight when they hike it. So the ball was on the 50-yard line. So if you kick the ball out of the end zone, they're going to get the ball in the 35.

They have to go 15 yards for that kid to then be in his field goal range. You know, offense sells the game. One of my New York Yankee friends, one of my friends who was a New York Yankee fan, had the classic New Yorker reaction to the World Series. He said, I'm glad the Dodgers won. You know, because his team lost to the Blue Jays. And then he immediately starts saying

of what the Yankees are going to do next year. You know, he goes, and fucking judge maybe hits one off of Otani. That would be fucking amazing. That would be fucking amazing. I go, dude, this is such a New Yorker response. You're not in the conversation of winning a World Series. You were in a World Series two years ago

You made some moves this year And you went backwards What did you do this year? You beat the Red Sox in a wild card Best two out of three We traded away Devers The Red Sox are a bunch of kids With this side of 26

You couldn't get past the Blue Jays Who barely got past the fucking Mariners Who then played the Dodgers And took him to seven games He goes, dude, we're going to have the best pitching staff In the ALE East It's like you obviously stopped watching baseball after you lost.

Ridiculous statement. The fucking Blue Jay's pitching staff was incredible. Forget about the Dodgers. They got a guy that can win three out of four games that you need to win. I don't know. But that is, you know, I lived in New York long enough to realize it reminded me a lot about Boston, where Boston is this weird thing where it's. and has these incredible fucking universities, two of the best universities in the world, MIT and Harvard.

And it is also ground zero for some of the biggest meatheads you're ever going to meet in your life. So it has this weird sort of duality where it's like it's this smart city because of all the people from elsewhere, for the most part, that go to those schools. And then you have the fucking guy like me going to Dunkin' Donuts and on his way to a Bruins game. is the majority of the population. New York is the same thing. We're like, all of this amazing shit happens in New York, but most of it is done by people

that move to New York. And everybody else is just a meathead, eating a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich, talking about the accomplishments of people who aren't even from New York and then claiming it for their own. Sinatra, Steinbrenner,

all of that. shit. I'll even say comedians. The amount of fucking comedians that came down or came up from Philly, came down from Boston, came up from D.C. All right? I'm removing myself from this. I'm just saying the ones that I saw as a fan of stand-up comedy came there and just

fucking crushed it. And then they were like, oh my God, the New York comedy scene. It's like, yeah, it's like it's a free agent comedy scene. Anyway, I just thought that that was funny Because I love where the Red Sox are And I like our chances next year As far as I feel like making the wild card again You know, it depends on what we do in the offseason

But I know In no way do I sit there and look at the Red Sox realistically And be like, yeah, this time next year They're going to, you know, they could beat the Dodgers. I did see this guy pregame Before game seven Because, you know, if the Dodgers win tonight, that would mean they won three World Series in six years and they would cement their dynasty. It's like, Jesus, fucking Christ, the training wheels that they're putting on a dynasty.

Fortunately, I only heard one person say that. It's like, you're not a dynasty if you're losing. A dynasty is for three years in a row, the championship was in your city and there's nothing. anybody could do about it. You own the league for at least three years. You can't, like, they won 2020, the pandemic year, no crowd. Okay, you win that year. The next year, you lost. The next year, you lost. The next year, you lost. And then you won, and then you won. So we're going all the way back. You're going to drag that title from six fucking seasons ago into the back to back.

And then say like you're like the 98, 99, 2000 Yankees or the 74, 73, 74, no, 72, 73, 74, Oakland A's. You're not. You're not. The 76, 77. 78, 79 Canadians, 80, 81, 82, 83. Islanders. Those are dynasties. Dude, the fucking Lakers in the 80s won five championships.

They were not called a dynasty. Because they didn't win three in a row. Sorry. That's what it is. The Lakers 2001, 2002. That was a dynasty. The NBA title was in. in L.A. three years in a row and there wasn't a fucking thing.

The other 29 teams could do about it. The Lakers didn't win and then lose, lose, lose, win, win. Fuck out of here with that. Anyway, I got to go in a sports show and fucking, like, they said that about the Kansas City Chiefs. I mean, they've been to like seven AFC championships in a row. I mean, that's a dynasty.

A dynasty of what? So are the Buffalo Bills of Dynasty? They went to four AFC championship games in a row. Wow, Jesus. I don't need to keep explaining it. Or do I? Or do I? All right, here we go.

Where are we? But anyway, I guess I do advertising now. All right. Hydro. How are you? All right. Hydro, everybody. You know those workouts where you finish and wondered,

did that actually make me stronger? With hydro, there's no guessing. In just 20 minutes, you're working 86% of your muscles and with the new hydro arc. You can actually see your progress measured in power, endurance, and precision. Every single time you row. Hydro. Oh, I get it.

It's the most efficient workout you'll ever do. It's a rowing machine, everybody. It works 86% of your muscles in one smooth, low impact. motion, arms, legs, and core. Everything gets engaged while you're still being easy on your joints. And now, hydro has taken things to the next level with their newest rower, hydro arc. It's their most advanced rower yet, designed to make you stronger, smarter, and more consistent. The arc introduces hydrometrics, a first-of-its-kind performance tracking system that actually measures your power, endurance, and precision each time you row. That means you can literally see your strength build

overtime stroke by stroke stroke me stroke me on top of that arc gives you the personalized workout recommendations based on your progress so no more wondering what class to take it adapts to you all you have to do is show up and arc takes care of the planning and like every hydro you're getting immersive workouts filmed on the water with Olympians and world class athletes and breathtaking locations around the globe what more do they have to do to get you off your fucking ass uh you'll never get bored getting a good sweat used to mean hours at the gym now with the new hydro arc i can do it all at home in just 20 minutes and actually see my progress improving every time i row hydro also backs it all with a 30-day risk-free trial free standard shipping and a one-year warranty getting a good

sweat used to mean hours at the gym now with the new hydro arc do it all at home and just just 20 minutes to see the progress improving every time you row. Skip the gym, not the workout. Stay on track with the new hydro. Arc, Hydro's most advanced rower yet. For a limited time, go to hydro.com, h-y-d-R-O-W. Dot com, and use code burr, B-U-R-R-R to get $100 off any hydro rower, including ARC.

That's H-I-D-R-O-W.com, code burr. B-R-R-R. All right. Oh, look who it is. It's old ZipRecruiter. What if you could constantly find whatever it is you're looking for right away? We're talking everything from parking spots to holiday gifts to jackets or jeans that fit perfectly. Imagine how much time you'd save.

While you may never instantly find these things, if hiring, you can find quality candidates right away time and time again with Zip. And right now, you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter. dot com slash burr zip yeah uh powerful matching technology works fast to find top talent with zip recruiters advanced resume database you can unlock top candidates contact info instantly no wonder zip recruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on g2 uh want to know right away how many qualified candidates are in your area. Look no further than Zip. Four to five employers

who post on ZipRecruiter to get a quality candidate within the first day. And right now you can drive for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Burr. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash Burr, ZipRecruiter. Smart's way to hire. All right. Please be the last one. It isn't. Jesus Christ.

Oh, wow. I guess the controversy must be over. My advertisers are back. Look who it is, everybody. Helix. The Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning Lux and Ultra Premium Elite Collection. The Helix Plus, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers and Helix kids' mattresses designed for growing bodies endorsed by child sleep experts. Jesus, what a bunch of weirdos they are, sitting around watching kids sleeping? What made you want to do that job, buddy?

Take the Helix sleep quiz and find your perfect mattress in under two minutes. Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it. in your own home that's why they offer a hundred night trial gross and file for god's sakes who the fuck is this who the fuck is this page of me at 546 in the morning all right i'm back little biggie smalls for you there cracker dawning now i'm yawning wipe the cold out my eyes see who's this page of me and why all right i can't sing the rest of it or else i'll get canceled Just singing along to the song. All right.

Helix knows there's no better way to the 100 nights. That's why they offer 100-night trial and a 10-to-15-year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress. 10 to 15 years. No, you get 100-night trial to try it out. And you get a 10-to-15-year warranty, I guess, if you keep it. Models. Dude, they get models with these things. With memory foam layers to provide optimal pressure relief if you sleep on your side.

models with a more responsive foam to cradle your body, you fucking pussy, for essential support in stomach and back sleeping positions, plus enhanced cooling features to keep you from overheating at night. I always just picture somebody stealing from their cunt company, you know, and they know at some point the feds are showing up. Just fucking flopping around sweating. But you can't open the window, right?

You have the window open. then what you can't go to sleep because you know when you open your eyes there's going to be a fucking raccoon staring there standing there staring at you eating the rest of your sandwich um if your spine needs some extra tlc they got you every helix mattress has a hybrid design combining individually wrapped steel coils in the base with premium foam layers on top it's a perfect combination of comfort and support hellex has been awarded the number one mattress by gq and Wired magazine. It's even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine as a go-to solution for improving your sleep. Go to helixleep.com slash burr for 20% off

site-wide. That's Helix sleep, H-E-L-I-X-S-L-E-P dot com slash burr. All right. Last one. Cornbread hemp. You skip the advertising. Oh, you're going to kick yourself for this one. Cornbread hemp. Anytime I hear cornbread, I think Cornbread Maxwell. Put the team on his back. Cedric Maxwell for the 1981 NBA champion, Boston Celtics, Larry Bird's first. Cornbread hemp. Have you been looking for a natural way to relieve aches and discomfort?

The CBD gummies from cornbread hemp are formulated to work with your body, not against it. Dude, where's the cornbread with the hemp in it? Thanksgiving is coming. Cornbread hemp, CBC. Gummies are made to help you feel better, whether it's stress, discomfort, or just needing a little relaxation. They only use the best part, the best part of fucking hemp, the best part of the hemp plant, the flour for the purest and most potent. CBD, formulated to help relieve discomfort, stress, and sleeplessness. All products are third-party lab tested and USDA organic to ensure safety and purity right now.

Monday morning podcast listeners can save 30% off their first order. Just head to cornbread hemp.com slash burr and use the code burr at checkout. That's cornbread hemp.com slash burr and use code burr, B-U-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Rq Raiders. Thank you to Embark Studios, bringing us their new game, Arc Raiders, a multiplayer extraction adventure video game set in a lethal future earth. explore an immersive post-apocalyptic world scarred by conflict and reclaimed by nature a living surface where weather enemies and shifting conditions heighten the constant threat of arc communities are forced below ground to survive jesus this is amazing scavenge survive thrive in a new extraction adventure arc raiders available now on playstation five Xbox series x s and PC rated rated Tea for team.

All right, finally, mercifully, end of the questions. Into the questions. Now, what are you guys going to do? What are you going to do this week? You're not going to fucking argue with anybody. You're not going to argue with your fellow countrymen. If you live in Arkansas, you're going to appreciate California. If you live in California, you're going to appreciate Tallahassee, Florida.

Right? You live where you live. I live where I live. I like you, you like me. we're on the same team don't let these habedash cunch separate you all right cholesterol myths dear bill feel free to ignore this email i'm about to give you some unsolicited health advice which i know you are not a fan of yeah but you know that's the perfect intro that's see see the way this person did this feel free to ignore it but they they just they just capitulated the whole fucking thing over to me

which is a power move because that means I actually have some information you want to hear it okay you don't you don't no skin off my back all right can we stop saying that it's a reference back to fucking shut up anyway but he says but I can't let my favorite redhead comedian possibly get sicker not on my watch I just wanted to clarify a few things out a few outdated teachings about cholesterol and I say outdated because nurses and doctors are sick too take a look around the hospital hospitals at all the overweight staff, we nurses have a higher obesity rate than the general population. We are giving ourselves the same bad advice on health and nutrition that we give our patients.

I don't believe this is a conspiracy. I think the education just needs to be updated and changing the system is slow, as you know. Please do not do a low-fat diet. Eating fat makes you fat and makes your cholesterol high is a very old teaching. slowly changing in the general population, but a lot of our health practices will be slow to adapt this lesson. Well, no, I was just eating too much fucking red meat. I was eating breakfast burritos. So, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. I mean, and also, how can you diagnose what my shit is without looking at it yourself? Anyway, the FDA changes regulation towards eggs and healthy fats in December of 2024, saying that both are part of a healthy

heart healthy diet, more change is coming. The old standard LDL blood work does not show LDL particle size, large particle LDL versus small particle LDL. It's a small particle LDL that is truly dangerous and that causes atherosclerosis, i.e. heart attacks. You could have a large of large particle LDL that is not dangerous at all. What the fuck does LDL mean? the biggest indicator of whether or not you're going to have a heart attack is inflammation we get inflammation

through an ultra-processed food diet not from protective anti-inflammatory food like healthy fats and proteins too much sugar i don't fuck with sugar unless i'm eating fruit too much flour i don't fuck with flour too much fake food all cause inflammation and this usually comes with the low fat low-calorie diet. This is why when fat got vilified in the 1990s and more people switched to low-fat diets, the rates of heart disease went up and not down. Well, the reason why they did the low-fat thing

was the skim off the top of the milk and they didn't want to throw it out. They wanted to figure out a way to sell it to us. But it was weird because they were also bad-mouthing their 4% milk. There's a whole bunch of shit. Anyway, as a cardiac nurse, I treated many patients who had heart attack

with perfect cholesterol levels. The solution, eat real food. This is good shit. I like this here. The food humans have eaten since the dawn of time. Food from plants and animals. The food humans were designed to consume. Eat the food that is in the outer aisles of the grocery store and nothing from the shelves in the middle.

That's where all the fake ultra-processed food is. Sorry for a long-winded email. What are you talking about? You're improving my life. And anybody listening who wants to take this information. Not looking for any recognition or even for you to read it on the podcast. I just truly hope you take a minute to hear a less popular opinion. Either way, I wish you the best of health for you and your beautiful family.

Thanks for all the free laughs. So basically the breakfast burrito, the egg part isn't the problem. It's probably the flour tortilla that it's in. The flower tortilla. No, you know, I've been doing green juices, oatmeal, parfays for breakfast, get my cardio in. And then I've been eating salads with fucking. salmon and then at night i'm also you know i'm eating i am eating real food and for like uh snacks at night i have like steamed spinach and like uh snow peas so anytime i get like a craving i just grab

a handful of it and i just shove it my mouth and i start chewing and immediately i am satisfied and my uh the old freckled belly it ain't what it used to be is going down Down. It's going down. All right. Girl asking for money. Hey, Bill Bubble Beer Belly. Just kidding. No, I love fat shaman. I love it. Fucking, you know, gets me to the gym, which is where I am going.

Right after this. Backstory. Over 10 years ago, I used to work with this girl. We were kind of into each other. I left the job before anything. What the fuck is that? What are they drilling outside? Oh, it's a fucking leaf blower. Jesus Christ.

Everybody bitches about the helicopters out here. It's the fucking leaf blowers. Oh, fucking, when I used to smoke cigars, I love that I can say that now. When I used to smoke cigars on a regular basis, when I would sit on my back porch, it was like fucking clockwork. The second I would light it and take, you know,

the first little, you know, puff. You'd hear wabada, wabada, wabada, wabada. You'd sit there. all right oh my god this is dude at my fucking gym i swear to god i swear to god i swear to god he comes in and he wears like a he's like skinny and fucking really hairy pale skin with like this jet black hair all over his fucking body he has the tank top where it doesn't go down to the armpits it goes all the way down to the waist you know

the fucking the open area Jesus fucking Christ dude Jesus fucking Christ he's fucking goddamn it sounds like

he's fucking drilling for oil out there anyway taking a walk here so this guy's got one of those tank tops with the part that usually just goes

underneath the armpits it goes all the way down to his waist is totally open on the sides and then he wears those fucking short shorts from the seven 70s, okay, with like the blue shorts with like the white line on the side, and they're like

fucking baggy. You know, like when you buy your kids underwear and they haven't grown into them yet, they're fucking loose around the legs. That's what, except he's an adult. And then he like does these stretches where he's doing down dog and then he's lifting one leg up in the air. And it's like his fucking junk is going to fall. I just want to be like, dude, can you put some fucking shorts on?

Can you put some, every time I go to the fucking gym, he's always got the giant like exercise ball and he wears the same thing every time. And he's like bent over backwards on it. Hey, I'll tell you, my fucking gym is wild. It's fucking wild. I'm like, how is no woman bitched about that? Am I going to be the guy? It was, it's like fucking annoying. It's funny.

He fucking got these Kurt Rambis glasses on. I mean, there's just like. I don't know. Maybe I should just look at the total picture and just be like, maybe this guy is just so unappealing as a person that he just has to put it out there hoping somebody. Somebody's going to love him. I don't know what it is, but Jesus fucking Christ.

Put on a shirt, put on some fucking shorts. Cover yourself up and work out. Oh, my God. it's fucking terrifying it's like his fucking hose is gonna it's gonna come out one day i don't want to be there for all right girl asking for money all right sorry already started me okay back story over 10 years ago uh i used to work with this girl we were kind of into each other but i left the job before anything became of it we remained cordial through the years and about five years ago what does cordial mean you occasionally hooked up or you just occasionally said what's up

on social, or she still has your number. Anyway, through the years, and about five years ago, we went on a date once, but never really followed up. Current story, we're both in our 30s now and still single, so we started to talk again. We went on a date two nights ago and had a great time. I believe the intention is to take it serious this time, but plot twist. She calls me around 4 a.m. this morning, he asked me if, ask if I could cover her dental bills. Oh, yeah, that's a hard no. I'm usually uncomfortable people I don't know too well, asked to borrow money, but anyway, I asked her how much it was, and she replied $15,000. I told her I didn't have it, which I don't. Who's got 15 grand to give to somebody else you

don't even fucking know for their dental work? Anyway, but I'm kind of turned off by the fact that she felt comfortable enough to ask me after one date. Technically two dates, but five years apart. Buddy, you need to be majorly uncomfortable. You went on one date and she asked you for $15,000. What is she going to ask you for? What is she going to ask you for when she's actually your girlfriend? She's really nice.

And she asked you at 4 a.m., which means she's up, worried about this shit. which means that's just the tip of the iceberg she's really nice yeah people who need 15 grand tend to be pretty pleasant she's really nice but i'm not sure how to continue with this has anything like this ever happened to you has anybody asked me for 15 grand after one date no has anybody asked me for money 100 percent um i take it on a case by case basis and on this case it is a No. It is definitely a no. Listen, if you felt bad and you had the money and you just wanted to help somebody out because, you know, what's the point of making money if you're not going to help somebody out? I believe in that too. And this felt like the right thing to do, then I would do it. But the fact that there's like romance and, you know, you're kind of like into her. And it's just like, no. She's well into her 30s. She doesn't brush her teeth. She's not good with money. She is just going to fucking back that truck of problems up. I don't know what fucking level model that weed, that fucking leaf blower is,

but that's good. I thought they'd fix that problem with the fucking wha. I'm going to go down there after this and tell that guy to put on some fucking earplugs. Or he's going to end up with tinnitus like me. Yeah, I would say, I would. would say don't do it and i think it's the tip of the iceberg all right you're in your 30s i'm sure you can find a nice person that has their shit together financially okay she is not looking for a boyfriend she's looking for a sugar daddy or she's looking for uh you know the same way there's like

guys out there who act like they're looking for a wife but they really want another mother you know wash my clothes take care of me do all of this thing they're just like they're like uh my wife She's man babies, man boys or whatever. I think she's the female version of that. That's an easy one. I would walk away from that, you know? I mean, what is she going to say? You got 15, I mean, that's fucking wild.

That is wild. 15 grand? I mean, that's something a relative does. I mean, you don't even know this person. Has she even sucked your dick yet? No, I'm kidding. that no no fuck that fuck that fuck all of that and i would uh in a very nice way i would just do what you did the first time where there was really no follow-up on the date um and then be

thankful that the first time there was no follow-up in the date because if you married her she's uh i don't know i don't know maybe she's going through some this ain't your problem dude you can do a lot better all right you're on the used car lot this this thing has been in a fucking It's got a bent frame. I would move on to the next car, personally. All right, Big Bear. Hey there, Billy Bear Bate. I heard your Big Bear story from Thursday,

and I have a better one for you. My wife and I rented, and by the way, I wasn't at Big Bear Lake. I just said that because I was still at the lake that I was at. It wasn't Big Bear, but I just said that. Anyway, my wife and I rented a nice house on Big Bear Lake Inspiration Point area

to celebrate an anniversary I cannot fucking believe how loud that thing is. I have to go see if that guy has hearing protection. I do that to fight. Believe me, God, you don't protect your fucking ears. You know, Wu Tang said protect your neck all the time? They got your neck covered. I'm talking about your ears.

You got to have the ear plugs. All right, I heard your Big Bear story. That, da, da, da, da, da, okay, inspiration point. Neighborhood had a former boat ramp adjacent to the house that acted as a walking path down to the water. The first night there, I was in amazement of the stars, so I pulled out my good camera and set up for a difficult night picture. I'm also a pale, bald, whitey,

so typically I would stand out to nearby animals. But I was accidentally camouflaged by wearing dark pants in a hoodie. I was lying on my back for a while, trying to be very still because I didn't have my tripod, but felt like I got some decent shot. So I slowly stood up, still mostly looking up at the stars. Oh, my God. Out of my peripheral vision, I see a large black silhouette move on the nearby old boat ramp

and I instinctively flinch, then go still. Oh, my God, dude, this is making my heart race. My brain immediately realized it's a large black bear and the only thing separating us is about 25 feet in a baby gate. My flinch must have gotten his attention because I see him, maybe her, but him sounds more badass. Look straight at me.

I'm in a dead cold freeze on my feet at this point, wondering if I have time to make it through the sliding glass door before blue bears down on me. Do you know the relief you got when you think you just got a second chance at life? I had that when the bear started running away from me, up the boat ramp. My wife was inside at the time washing her face, and above her sink was the open window facing the boat ramp. As I'm opening the glass door, she's coming out to tell me she thinks she heard something and that I should come inside.

She says my eyes were like saucers, and then I just yelled, I saw a bear and he saw me. like a child the bear had also set off the motion lights when he ran off so the noises along with the lights and my reaction had my wife convinced I was telling the truth meanwhile my parents who slept through the whole incident and they thought I was fucking with them

the next morning I was still amped up and had barely in quotes slept the night before Jesus it was muddy from the recent rain so I suggested, why don't we go look for bear tracks in the mud area? I'll never forget the look of, oh, shit, he was telling the truth on my dad's face when he quickly came across these giant bear prints, attached picture.

Oh, I don't have the picture. I'll have to ask Andrew for it. The lasting thought I have about that memory is how that bear was able to get so close to me without me hearing a thing. They are surprisingly stealth for something so large. keep the faith and go fuck yourself yeah dude for all you know it was already there i think that's what happened to my wife um yeah we were up in uh we were really up in lake taho um but we were still there so there's always weirdos so i never say where i'm still going to be there you know

when the podcast you know wherever i say am i never am or i already left that's how the game works but I didn't want people up in Big Bear to think like because I heard there was no bears up there I don't fucking know evidently there are who knows all right

that is the podcast everybody baseball season is over the baseball fan of me is sad but what a great season but the pilot in me is excited because there's no more TFRs

over fucking Dodger Stadium until next year because that's always my big paranoia fly around theirs is my is my um is my information up to date on four flight you know have i done all the downloads is there a tfr and i'm not aware of it i'm gonna fucking fly into it don't need that shit um so anyways that is the podcast everybody go fuck yourselves come together man let's not have another civil war that's what they want don't fucking do it it's a bunch of goddamn nerds

Thirds, I'll see you Thursday.