Monday Morning Podcast - Summer, Tambourines, Classic Cars | Monday Morning Podcast 8-25-25

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

Bill rambles about summer for kids, tambourines at concerts, and classic car owners. SimpliSafe:  Visit www.SimpliSafe.com/BURR to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. SquareSpace:  Check out www.squarespace.com/BURR for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: (BURR) to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

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Hey, what's going on is Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday. August 25th, 2025. What's going on? Hawaii. Oh, what's going on? In this echoey room I'm in. Hope all's good with you. Holy shit, the fucking summer is over.

Oh, boy, my kids are back in school. I think I get more sad than they do. I fucking hate when the summer's over. I'm just not into that at all. Like my favorite thing is when they're, they're just around. And that's like a big, like a big back and forth with me and my lovely wife is like she's always like stressing about activities. Like we got to give them activities. They got to have stuff that they got to go do.

And I'm always just like, no, they don't. They had activities all year. They had activities all year. This is what you, you want them still in their pajamas at like 10 in the morning. That's how I look at it. This whole fucking thing where you got it like, you know, get your kid on some travel team for fucking soccer and they're going around the goddamn fucking state.

You got your whole life to drive around and go do shit. It's summer vacation. Get up whenever you get up. Grab a box of cereal, whatever you want to do. And then, you know, we'll see how the day shakes out. You know, I'm not saying that that's the right way, but I'm saying there's a nice balance because then my, my lovely wife will be like, hey, I signed him up for this thing, right? And at first I'm always thinking, I'm rolling my eyes like, oh, Jesus Christ, what is this?

What, what, what is it, you know? And then it's like you sign him up. And now I don't get a break. I don't get a break from having to get up and take him to school. Now instead of school, I'm taking them to this other fucking thing. but she ended up signing them up for just it was like a one week camp you know day camp you didn't like stay there overnight i don't fucking get that at all people shipping their kids off to camp i mean didn't you ever see fucking friday the 13th crystal lake you know that's what i

always think i always think it's going to be a bunch of fucking you know 17 and 8 year old 18 year olds right 17 year old teenage kids smoking weed trying to hook up up with each other and not paying attention to the kids like either that or there's going to be some fucking you know sociopath kid or some kid with distant awful fucking parents and he's going to be bullying all the kids it's just like why would I do that why the fuck would I'm not doing that shit so but I will say the camp that she signed him up for was uh was tremendous but anyways today was the uh you know i don't know sort of they they sort of started last week but like today's like the official you know starting or whatever and um i don't know i'm psyched i'm psyched that

they're in school back with their friends or whatever but i get i sort of got like when kids go going back to school like i get it i'm like i know it sucks it sucks i fucking hated that i don't say the f bar i try not to anyway um but anyway um but anyway they're back in school so that sucks but when they're back in school that does mean something good though aside from them learning and being back with their friends and stuff it also means that football season is right around the corner and um i don't know i don't have any road i'm very little road work this year for the rest of the year um so i'm actually going to be around to watch the game so um i think uh i don't know i got to pick pick a college team god speak of the devil i don't know if you

just heard that my son was coming dad dad um yeah i'm gonna miss that anyway so i'm gonna be watching a bunch of sports um i'm fucking crushing my french like i do the uh the duolingo thing and this woman Lily you know this AI fucking thing calls you up or whatever probably taking a picture of your face making a robot replacement

but in the meantime you know she's super aloof super sarcastic because that's people's idea of what French people are like which is not true you know what I mean listen you can find a snobby Parisian

absolutely but France is a big country okay drive around you're going to meet great people and there's great people in Paris and a lot of times if they're being snooty or obnoxious you know a lot of time it's it's you you know you came in with your fucking crocs and your giant stupid fucking sippy cup you know walking in there like a 42 year old toddler going out going to a water park you know so they're going to be a cunt to you anyway um if she when you interact with her she calls you up and you practice french talking to her

and uh you know is if she doesn't understand what she's talking about the fucking conversation will be like a minute long and she'll just get off the phone um and as I've gone along

it's got longer and longer today was my record I talked to her for six minutes and 31 seconds before she was like you know like or of what you know whatever the fuck she always says to me um

but I can really like you know listen to her talking and i'm i don't have to be like stopping in my brain thinking about what the way i kind of just know what she's saying knowing what she's talking about it's still not like listening to english where it's like the comprehension is just i just understand it's i'm somewhere between being like that and having to translate every other fucking word and think about it that I miss the next 10 words and then I'm lost. I'm somewhere in between that now where I can kind of just understand, you know, enough of each sentence that I know the gist of what she's saying. I'm still translating it in my head, but it's like really

exciting and, you know, I don't know about you guys, but, you know, just living here in America and just growing around people speaking English. Trying to learn that language to me just seem like fucking impossible. And I'm finding it's just like anything else. that if you just sort of stick with it, all of a sudden, you know, there's different levels that you graduate to, and then one day all of a sudden you're doing it. You know, it's no different than learning to play an instrument

or whatever the fuck it is you're doing. So speaking of that, I just got all new heads on my drum kit, and I got the remote hi-hat, and I took a lesson with Dave Eilich, who has a new drum program, um online course which for my money that guy has done his research he's accumulated all the information and if you want the most up to date you know how to like play without hurting yourself

and having to exert all this extra energy what i love about the way he teaches is he doesn't change the way you play he makes playing what you want to play easier and more efficient and um anyway um he came over because i got i got my drum kit and then i had a couple extra drums so i bought a little 20 inch bass drum i got the grech broadcasters which are fucking amazing amazing sounding drums so i made a little kit for my daughter and my son to play on and they can play beats now and stuff it's fucking awesome so he came over and um tuned up the the drums and i learned so just watching him doing it Like my rackton, it always, the sound was always choking on the drum.

And I couldn't figure out what the fuck I was doing wrong. So he started to tune up the top head, the batter side. And he goes, why is that choking out? He goes, oh, the bottom head's probably too loose. And I said, why do you think it's too loose? He goes, well, the sound from the top, it goes down. It has to ricochet off and come back up so the drum sings. If you have it too loose, it's just going to go down and die.

and he tightened up the bottom head and then all of a sudden the drum was singing. I was just like, oh, like that's the kind of shit. That's the kind of like drum hack stuff that I love. So anyway, anyway, one of my favorite double bass drum songs ever doesn't even have a lot of double bass in it. It doesn't have fast double bass. it just has this really cool pattern

that I was telling you guys about one of my favorite drummers of all time Tim Alexander from Primus this song My Friend Fats and what I loved about it is I was saying I think I just talked about this in the podcast but I don't give a shit I'm geeking out about this song

is that that you know da da dun that he plays da da da da da on the bass drum he's also playing it on the high hat he plays it all

and in the beginning that's all it is and it's like da-da-da-da-dun so you're thinking like triples one and a two one of the three

and then there's this weird pause you're like what the fuck and E-Litch once again he told me he goes no dude it's actually in four it's E-N-1 that's where that lick is

and then he's implying a triplet feel off of that while still playing in four and then it makes common time feel like odd time and I'm just like, that is fucking genius. I love it. So, and then he does all these cool fills. Da da-da-da-da-done. Get, gung, get, da-da-da-done.

It's so fucking cool. So anyway, that's like going to be what I'm working on. And then I'm going to be doing some show, out here in L.A., putting together some dates everywhere from, like, you know, in L.A., out to Riverside, you know, a few other places so I can keep my act tight because next year I'm going to go back out on the road again. And so, I don't know, that's going to be my fall. I don't know. Other than that, you know, going to the gym and all of that. fucking bullshits all right so that's what i'm up to i hope you guys had a good summer if you

got kids i hope you had a great time hanging out with them and all of that and uh you know you're probably psyched that they're bad i mean i'm not gonna lie to i there's there's a part of me you know when they go to school then i get to hang out with my wife more so you know it's always you know the little like push pull but speaking of push pull let's talk about the fucking red socks versus the yankees um i'm recording recording this before the fourth game we've beaten them eight games in a row you know and this game three it's like we were up like five to one or something and the bottom of the eighth they had like two guys on somebody coming to the plate i go here comes the home run comes a three run shot it was five

to one and i'm going to be five to four like there's no fucking way we're going to keep beating this team This is the fucking New York Yankees. They don't end up scoring a run, and then they just fall apart. I mean, fall the fuck apart in the top of the knife. Can't get anybody out. We scored seven runs. And in that was like, you know, a throwing era, a bach. I mean, so, you know, I lived a long time in New York.

I'm also out here in L.A. I know a lot of Yankee fans. So I didn't rub it in. I just said, hey, I'm not being a dick of nothing, right? It's like we're a young team. We're finally going in the right direction. I think we could make the wild card. I think we could maybe win the first round.

But when we get to these more solid teams, like I don't, you know, I'm not sitting there acting like the Red Sox are going to win the World Series. I'm not saying that, but I am excited that we're moving in the right direction. So I'm just asking because I have been watching baseball now for since 1978, whatever that is like 47 fucking years all right i've never seen a yankee team like this like no matter you know good bad or ugly they always showed up to play and if you knocked them down they always got back up you know it ain't over till it's over i mean that came from their own guy yogi bearer i have never seen a fucking team like this so it doesn't make sense

I know they lost Juan Soto and I know they had the shutdown what's his face there for Tommy John's surgery but that doesn't mean that people stop trying or have like these brain farts so I just asked a couple

of like big time psycho Yankee three of my friends who they're the biggest you know the kind of people you can call in August and they're watching the game not those October April fans I mean the people

that ride through the team and I was going like what the fuck is going on with these guys you went to the World Series last year I understand you lost Juan Soto

you lost one of your best pitchers but like this is like the lack of fight what the fuck is going on and according to them and the rumor

with that team is that Boone is not making decisions as much as it's like somebody like on the mezzanine level in an office at a fucking computer so they make all of these decisions like literally the batting lineup how long to keep somebody in or take them out is all being made on a computer and then all of a sudden their lack of vibe totally made sense

like you can't plug human beings into a fucking computer and not expect, you know, that look on your kid's face when they're, they're looking at a fucking tablet or watching TV. Like, it just glazes over. Like, we somehow have gone from the Earl Weaver, Billy Martin, LaSorda, Lou Panella, all those great fiery fucking managers to like, and I think a baseball manager, if you're going to go that route, it's just like a fucking matri-D. You know, who's up next? I don't know. They're checking like, you know, their reservations or whatever and it's like i was joking with my buddy because you know i don't like i don't like rub it in i'm not rubbing it in on a team that has 27 championships

and we have nine i'm not gonna in one fucking season we're getting the better of you i'm not one of those duchess you know and there's a lot of red socks fans like that there's a lot of yankee fans like that there's a lot of sports fans like that and those people are just fucking jerkoffs whack a mole fans is what i call them they're underground and then when their team wins all of a sudden they pop up you get a text and you look at the text thread you haven't heard from them in a couple of years those fucking douches um i was joking with that guy uh the yankee fan going like because he was going you know i want a manager that smokes in the dugout and i knew what he was saying and i was saying

like yeah like if you if it was the weekend and you got invited to two parties One of them was being thrown by Spock and the other was being thrown by Captain Kirk. Which one you're going to? Which one's going to have the vibe? Which one is Ron Burgundy going to go to and do a cannonball into the pool? It's Captain Kirk. You've got to have the fucking human element. And I think a lot of people are going to take a lot of heat over there on the Yankees.

And people might lose their fucking jobs. they're not going to fix the fucking problem if they keep if that's what the if that's what the fuck they're doing um if you're going to take the human element out of the game you know i mean one of the best things about the game is you know i always felt like what really separated a good manager from a great manager is how well he knew his team so he knew when somebody was off or he knew if they're settling down okay i know what you're watching right now if you don't watch us every day. It looks ridiculous that I'm not taking him out, but I know this kid. I know what he's got. I know what he's going through. And I know him well enough that like, even though this doesn't

make sense to the naked eye, me who knows this kid knows I can ride another inning and, you know, he's going to turn it around or he's got a chance to or whatever. Or I as the manager know, you know what, there's something wrong with him. I got to shut him down. And when you just, I don't know what you're fucking you got some nerd standing behind a fucking cash register just pressing fucking buttons um i don't know i i i just don't like the second he told me that that that that that was the rumor of how they were managing the team all of a sudden this lack of vibe and passion on their team totally made sense um and i got to be honest as a baseball fan as a red sox fan it's it the series has been fucking boring you know what i mean it's like you've you've taken that

element out of it so i don't know strange the whole fucking thing is just a uh it's just it's just i don't know it's why i drive old cars you know like like my wife's car god bless her it's like she puts in the map like where to go and it's just so fucking over design i got a map i literally have a voice going like turn right in 400 feet i got that then there's also a map and on top of the map there's like video of you driving down the street superimposed over the fucking map so when you look down like what i'm going to look down and do what watch where i'm going and look at the map it's like through all of this extra safety which it really isn't extra safety it's just new shit to make your old car that's fine seem like it's not as good anymore all it does

is just fucking distract i don't for me anyways so um i just got you know all i had was my old truck i just got a new um a new old car that i'm driving around in um um um a new old car that i'm driving around in um that i love to fucking got a v8 you know manual transmission no screen um you know just a fucking daily driver and i absolutely i love it i don't even listen to the fucking radio i'm just driving down the street and guess what i drive way better i get my wife's car and i'm so busy getting annoyed by the thing like my wife's car like the new cars it's like you know it's like you ever just meet somebody new when they're just doing too much and it's just like if you would just chill the fuck out you would get the reaction that you want from other people but you're so

fucking insecure that when you don't get the reaction you just got to try harder and harder and harder and you're you end up like pushing people away that's what a fucking car does to me but I'm also out of my mind so who knows um anyway I got to give a show. I'm going to start doing this shit. Giving shoutouts to local places that I've been to that are like owned by individuals. They aren't chain chains, you know. So fuck all these corporations.

This goes back to those, you know, Pete's coffee and fucking, you know, Timmy's donuts and shit. There's no Pete in there. There's no Tim. It's a fucking corporation. Fuck them. All right. My wife took me to a breakfast at this place called Alta Adams. A-L-T-A-Adams, and they had a brunch down there,

and I went there, and they had Oxtail on the menu. And the first time I ever got Oxtail, I was at a restaurant called Lupa in the village, Mario Battali. I was a huge fan of his before all the bullshit. I still have some of his cookware. One of his crock-pops. But anyway, I had Oxtail.

and I was blown away about how good it tastes. It's really fatty. It's almost like a pot roast type of thing. So I went in and I saw that they had that on the menu. The chef over there, chef Keith Corbyn. And this lovely woman, Asia, Situ, I didn't get her last name. But we went there. It was me, my wife, and my kids.

And I got Oxtail. with some grits and I got a side of eggs over easy and I got a biscuit that they had butter and this honey and it was it was just it was insane I'm not going to lie to you when I left I was like lean into one side because I didn't realize how filling ox tail was but I was just thinking with the eggs over easy and the yoke and that fatty meat or whatever and the gritty meat or whatever and the grits like that could all come together nicely which of course it did it was really delicious and um they're great people over there and it's a local place and locally owned business and uh if you guys have any of that's places out here you know l a lot with those fires they've gone through a lot

like every other with covid and these fucking banker cunts cooking the economy and these corporations that are trying to buy up all the houses it's it's really insane but you know as long as we get all the brown illegal people out of the country evidently all those white people who are ruining the entire experience of being an American evidently they're going to grow a heart like the Grinch and once we get all the illegal brown because what you don't want to focus on who is like you know poisoning your children through genetically altering the food you don't want to pay attention to those white people you want to go down to home depot and find some illegal brown people that that will make it better so fucking stupid it is so the whole it's so fucking stupid it's like

literally there were like weasels coming in and killing all your chickens so what do you do to stop that you get a weasel to guard the fucking hen house and then the next day you come out all your chickens are dead again and there's the weasel you hired sitting there with feathers and blood around its mouth you're like what happened oh it was the mexicans it was the chinese It's the fucking Middle East. No, bro, it's fucking you. You fucking cunt. I don't know.

I will never understand it. Lying is lying, but at least come up with a good one. All right. With that, let's do a little, let's do some fucking reads here. Did I, did I, all right, here they are. Oh, by the way, do my temper has been coming back. And I got to get it under control.

just like sugar came back. I got it under control. Except for last night. I fell off the fucking wagon, but I'm going to get back on. I went and I saw last night, Nea took me.

She goes, you got to, we got to go see these guys. The clips, you know, legendary rap duo, Pusha T, and Malice, who now goes by no malice i'm old school i would have gone by absence of malice because i'm a paul newman fan but he goes by no malice so we went down to the nokea theater and uh i smoked some weed

and uh dude it was fucking unbelievable the show they put on and uh kendrick lamar came out and did a uh a surprise you know guest star thing came out and did a whole song and i thought the roof was going to blow off the place and i'm not going to lie to you i felt like the fucking old guy there like the level that people were going nuts like that would be like i went to see ac dc and eddie van hailing came out like it was the same rest of salt the same fucking you know like the place went crazy and um it was such a great show um my favorite part of this show was when the two of them, their brothers, they honored their parents and they had this whole picture of all this whole collage of pictures

of their parents' life. And they just seemed like the perfect couple, like it was true love and that they were amazing people as individuals. And when they came together, they were even better. And it was a really cool thing to see, especially with entertainers. Because so many entertainers, like, you know, you ask their child and it's a really like, traumatic things so it was really cool to be like all right well you know to see that they had great parents and um they seen parents seem like old school too like my favorite picture in there

there was a picture of of their dad and he was on a motorcycle and he had big grin on his face he was turned around looking over his shoulder pointing at the camera um it was cool it was like that guy led life you know he lived life and he fucking enjoyed it um probably my favorite part of the show um so anyway we did that but then we came back i was really really i was like so high like i'm not gonna fuck with marijuana for like maybe the rest of the year you know you know we get like that level high we're like i think i need to like do some sort of introspection here i was super high and i had this really funny fucking interaction with this guy this black dude came up to me and he goes oh shit he goes pill

Burr, he goes, I fucking love you. I love your style. Oh, you know, thanks a lot. He goes, no, you don't understand. And he just kept going at one point. He said, you're my N-word. And I laughed. He goes, he goes, you know, that's really. He goes, I just called you the N-word. And I go, oh, you know, I appreciate that. That's what I said. It was just one of stupid things you're saying when you're high. But I knew what he meant. But I was laughing after I said it. You know what I'm saying? I just called you I mean you know what's real when I just refer to you using the N word and I just I know I appreciate that

it was one of those nights it was just nothing but like positive vibes um anyway plowing ahead here let me let me do the reads here for the week oh by the way they have

they have a new album out the clips do that everybody is losing their minds about from what I'm hearing um it's uh let god sort them out i think is what they is is the name of it but they did it obviously they did some tracks off of that it all sounded fucking good to me um so check that out um all right here's the uh here's the advertising for the week oh look who it is everybody it's simply safe isn't that what we all want um simply safe what does feeling safe at home really mean to you For a long time, I thought it was enough to have good locks and maybe an alarm that would, you know, make a lot of noise if someone actually broken.

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So head to moo.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies and the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with. And remember to use promo code burr at checkout to save 20% off your first order. There we go. Jesus Christ, he got through it. All right, enough of my babbling. It's time for your babbling. This is where you're right in. And for whatever reason, after listening to me, read out loud that poorly, people still ask me for advice. So here we go.

Black and white phone screen. Hey, Dan Road, Billy. Good call. Recently, you've been talking about being addicted to your phone on the podcast. We all know this feeling too well. Glad to hear you're back to reading books. Oh, my God. Like, one of the greatest things my daughter said to me.

Last night, she saw me reading. She goes, Dad, you read a lot. No one has ever said that to me in my life. Yeah, I started reading. I'm reading like plays and like comic book series because, uh, they're shorter, you know, you just don't want to fucking pick up like war in peace. I'm going to start reading again. You don't want to, I mean, that's not how I'm wired.

So I've just been doing that. And then I took the Instagram app and I always had it on the second page of my iPhone. I just moved it all the way to the back. And I replaced it with like YouTube, the YouTube app. And I find the YouTube app. to be tremendously frustrating. So I don't, you know, it's just not a fun app. So I sort of mess with it for a little bit.

And I'm just like, I don't want to fucking do this. And I just shut it off. So that's what's been working for me. Anyway, this person says, glad to hear you're back to reading books. I've also been getting back into reading lately. And it's a great feeling to spend less time online consuming students. stupid bullshit. Yeah, and you're worried in a way that you're going to be like missing out on something and you're not going to be able to hold a conversation with people. You're fine.

You're fine. And if something is a big enough trend, it usually makes it to some sort of mainstream thing, you know, you'll be able to see the people, you know, doing their TikTok dances to the Law & Order theme, even if you're not online or whatever on that app. Anyway, plowing ahead. Thank God someone finally. wrote in and told you about scrolling to the top of your phone by accident. It was one of those situations where everyone knew what was happening, but no one had the heart to tell you. What do you mean no one had the heart to tell me?

Like, you know, you're not telling me like, you know, my dog died. Just tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong. You know, there's being concerned about someone's feelings and then there's just fucking enjoying watching somebody's struggle. I think that that's what was going on. I would have said something. I just didn't have the heart to tell him to give him the information he needed.

Like, that doesn't even make sense. Anyway, plowing ahead. Since you figured that out, I didn't figure that out. Somebody explained it to me. Here's another phone tip for you. Try putting your screen in black and white mode. Oh, that's cool. There was an episode of Effis for Family

where they get a color TV and instantly everyone is more addictive to watching TV. Oh, that's true. I had a similar experience when I went from an iPhone 6 to an iPhone 12. The phone screen of the 12 was just more vibrant, and I found myself just wanting to look at it more for no reason other than it was appealing to the eye, and my screen time went way up.

Yeah, you know, that's something that I heard a long time ago about food, and that the food industry looked at heroin addiction. with envy they didn't look at it as a problem they looked at it like we want people to be addicted to whatever food we're selling them and they didn't want to use they didn't want to say addictive because that had a negative connotation so they used the phrase a uh oh fuck i just forgot what the hell was it i'm reading now it should be a craveability they wanted their food to have a craveability like Doritos it is impossible to open a bag of Doritos and not just get half even if you get a big bag I mean you're going to kill anywhere from a third to a half of it and after

the second handful there's this voice way in the back of your head like I wouldn't do that dude right and you just keep going and going sugar salt all of that shit and it's weird they practice on fucking animals i guess you know they they get like some white mouse and they don't put the dorito out until the fucking mouse is literally covered in orange dust and they're like all right it literally can't stop it's licking the inside of the bag this is now ready for human consumption um anyway plowing ahead here um recently so okay to get to the phones and stuff like that's the same thing like these all of these things online they want you to be like totally just i get you know this isn't new information but like i guess your phone itself is taking a picture of your face every

five fucking seconds which i think then goes into some sort of AI algorithm to see if you have the right dopamine look in your eye and drool coming out of your mouth i mean it's fucking evil These fucking nerds are absolutely fucking evil. But the thing is, is if you're evil and you're broke, you're going to go to jail. But if you're evil and you have a billion dollars, you're suddenly going to be affecting the direction that humanity moves in. Because all of these cunts care about is having enough money to basically, I don't know what, feel like they won or to get a good looking woman. I have no fucking idea. I don't understand how these people's brains work.

They're fucking reptiles. So this person said recently, I put my phone into black and white mode and it makes it feel less appealing to look at. It feels more utilitarian. Is that how you spell it? Utilitarian? I always said it was U-T-A-L.

It's U-T-I-L. Utalitarian this way. That's one of those words I know how to use it. but I don't know what it means. Dude, it means stuff is in black and white. It's not that hard to do. All you do is go to the iPhone settings, display and text side, color filters,

then activate gray scale and set it to 100%. You can add a toggle switch to your iPhone so you can instantly turn the color on and off. I don't want to overwork. you with adding a color toggle you know go fuck yourself overwhelm me like you figured it out and you designed it you just know where to go in settings fucking relax don't want to overwhelm you with adding a color toggle button uh look it up on youtube all right i will uh i know you just breaking my balls but you know i get talked down enough and all of a sudden my freckles they they go from

brown to red and i get a little upset uh i take exception to it um i hope this is a three-click process. The three-click process is not too much for your middle-aged technology hating ginger ass. Yeah, people my age are not good with technology. People your age are much better at it. But you know what? Most people your age did not invent it. So I don't know what you're excited about. Good luck with your Apple genius and go fuck yourself. All right. I really appreciate all of that information. And I also appreciate the ball busted in the end. But I got to break your balls back and just remind you, you know what I mean?

That's like when someone with a truck pulls up with a bigger truck than yours. And it's just like, all right, congratulations. You bought a truck that other men put together that's bigger than mine. All right? Let's not act like you fucking put the lift kit on it. You didn't. Oh, you know what I saw the other day that I really liked? I saw a Hummer pickup truck.

And they had taken the top off. And I looked at it. I'll go, that's a fucking fun-ass-looking vehicle. Although I was never a fan of the Hummer. I liked it when I saw it, and then I got in one, and it's, like, really deceiving. There's no room inside. It's like really like, it's almost like you're in one of those cars

with a chopped roof. However, I think if you took it off road, it's got to be fucking amazing. I mean, that's really what it's for. All right. I'm going to do that. I'm going to put it in black and white mode. I'm going to be that person and act like I'm interesting.

All right, obnoxious hippie at concert. Oh, brother. I already hate this person. Hey, Billy Baldi, love the podcast and was hoping you could weigh in on something. You're 100% right. If the person was actually an obnoxious hippie, I am 100% on your side. This past weekend, my brother and I went up to say for a Neil Young concert. Neil was great, of course.

He's always great. so was his new backing band, The Chrome Hearts. The show was at an amphitheater, and we had general admission tickets on the lawn. But we were standing as close to the stage as possible by the rail at the back of the pavilion. During Harvest Moon, this older baby boomer in front of us took a tambourine covered in LED lights out of her bag,

and started spinning around and beating the thing out of time with the music. Oh, no. I was a few beers deep and loudly told her, put that fucking thing away. You're not in the band. No one here paid to listen

to your entitled ass. Oh, my God. I'm going to fucking stand up. You know what? You know what? good for you good for oh my god you should have i mean the old days they would have been smashed over her fucking head uh she stopped and went elsewhere good a couple people next to me backed me up but my brother says i went too far and she was just having fun do you think i was out of line telling her off

thanks and go fuck yourself no not at all i would say the last time you and your brother fought you won and he's just looking for a way to criticize you because there's no fucking way you could be more right than that there was a total like it's like that's one of neil young's greatest songs neal is up there at age who knows how much longer he's going to tour this is your one time to hear it live and this fucking jerk off is going to make no that that that's i'll tell you i will go beyond what you did that person whoever marries that person is going to live a life of misery that is a self-involved fucking person to a level that there is no medicine and there's no therapy that can help them

in a perfect world that hippie with the tambourine she would die alone and never reproduce if what she has is contagious. I'll tell you right now, she's going to get married someday. Her husband's going to be miserable and their kids are going to be sad because it's going to be all about her. Who the fuck would interrupt Neil Young

singing Harvest Moon with an LED tampa? Jesus fucking Christ. I'll tell you right now, the last thing I would want to do is be you having dinner with whoever the fuck your brother's dating because if that behavior isn't out of line,

for him. Jesus. Jesus. I'm going to go on on limb right now and say, you know, if he marries something like that, you guys are not going to be spending Thanksgiving together anytime fucking soon. That's how out of line that fucking lady was. Once again, if I was wearing a hat, I would fucking tip it to you. That is like round the bases and then come out of the dugout for a curtain call good for you good for you and all of those people that were around you that like didn't have to deal with their bullshit uh was she in bare feet too and they were filthy oh my god people walk around in in bare feet and it's just like like fucking johnny apple seat it's like i just that's bottom of their feet i just i don't i don't understand those people i don't want to

understand those people. Take them out back, hose them down, and send them on their way. All right, car collector. Hey, Billy Buick, I really love classic cars and hearing you talk about them. I didn't start to fawn over them until I hit my 30s. I'm a 45-year-old black man who grew up in the Bronx, so my exposure to cool cars was limited to MTV. I'm moving out of the city soon, and I'll have a driveway and garage to properly store and drive one. Classic car owners are some of the friendliest people I've ever met. I've met a few guys and a lady who have helped me navigate the ins and outs. Dude, I'm like getting excited that you're going to tell me what you're going to get.

Inns and outs of owning a classic car and I'm getting ready to purchase something in the spring. My taste has changed from 70s muscle cars to mid to late 60s fords, specifically Thunderbirds. Oh, yeah. I mean, those are fantastic. And you know, it was cool to what the Thunderbird is. I feel like they changed the way it looked every couple of years, like drastically. They also have some in the late 50s and the early 60s that had like that swivel chair when you went to get out. You hit a button and like you didn't have to step out of your car.

You're like literally the chair spun with you. And then like your legs were pointed out the door and you got up. some of them had the steering wheel that also moved to the side um it's fucking amazing um i am as far as fords i'm a big fan of the ltds the late 60s ltds uh i love the ford galaxies uh more of a galaxy guy than a fairline guy and um and as far as if you're going to go muscle car the four Ford Falcon. It's the same chassis as like the Mustang, but it's just, I just think it's cooler because it's more rare. And I don't know, for my money, that's what I would go. But that's incredible. I'll tell you, the, there's another car that I love is the car Dirty Harry drives, which I think is just called the Ford custom. In the first one, it's like a 68 midnight blue four-door sedan. You can't find that those things just got junked, you know? They weren't like sexy or anything like that.

But now that I think they're just cool as hell. I think that market's heating up to like Ford or sedan. Just because the baby boomers, they, I think they just bought and sold the same fucking 12 muscle cars. And they just became like, I don't know, you've just seen them too much. And then, I don't know, the rarity of them just wasn't as cool. I don't know. So anyway, plowing ahead here. This person says, I wanted to share a video with a man who owns a thousand cars. The most impressive thing about this man is that he knows everything about every single one of his cars. It's beyond impressive. He doesn't open his warehouse to many people, but this particular YouTube channel is well respected.

Okay, this isn't like a link that I can just tell you. Unless you want to write it down, old school, www. www. YouTube.com slash watch question mark. And then it's Victor equal sign, lowercase R. What am I really going to do this? I might as well just finish it.

Capital D. The number two. And then lowercase delta kilo Papa. Capitalize Tango Delta. I feel like I'm calling in an airstrike for capital E echo and then the last is either a zero or the lowercase letter O. Oh my God. I'll be clicking on that the second. This is fucking done.

All right. Moving on. Kids book in French. Oh, bravo monsieur. Hi. Hi, the great dad, Bill. I like how great dad is in quotes. I can't tell if you're saying I am or if you're fucking saying, what are you a great dad?

Because you say you were? All right. Long time listener from Canada here. Heard lots of stories about how you spend time with your kiddos. Just wanted to share a book they would definitely enjoy. The incredible story of the giant pair by Danish author Jacob Strid, S-T-R-I-D, Jacob, J-A-K-O-B. really fascinating story and illustrations I suggest to buy a hardcover copy

for whatever reason it's not published in English you could get it in French though and translate it to English for your kids as you read through the pages they would translate it better than me at this point that's what we're doing at home good exercises for your French and kids would 100% love it

I will add the link here if you were interested but I was only able to find it from one of your favorite companies Amazon enough. It'd be once in a while you've got to dance with the devil. Well, I will definitely check that out. Thank you very much. Anyway, that is the podcast for this

week. I came up a little bit short, but I'm going to go play with the kiddos. And later on tonight, I'm going to go out to the garage and I'm going to go fucking play some drums, which is going to be awesome.

because that's it I lead the life of a kid I try to as much as I can so with that as I mentioned before I will be doing a lot of stand-up in and around L.A.

running my hour for the rest of the year keeping it tight and there's some new comedians that I've seen that live out here in L.A. that I'm going to be bringing

on those shows always excited to see a new funny person come out and uh you know this year is no different and i've always worked with great comics that then go on to headline themselves and uh i think that's how it should be like i like i said i i don't want to have the terminal open i don't want a lifer opener for me I want someone that wherever I'm performing at, they want to headline it. So they are, you know, it's good to be working with someone that's moving forward. Because as they move forward, they sort of pull you along to my belief. Anyway, so, oh, also, I've picked out the college football game that I'm going to go to this year.

I got the green light from my wife. And because this was the hard one. It's Auburn, Alabama, in Auburn. And it's the Saturday after Thanksgiving. So that was always tough. It was always like, I mean, that weekend's like a non-negotiable. But, you know, because I'm in town the whole, you know, all of the fall. And my wife's fucking cool.

She's like, all right. So I'm trying to. get a crew together and get some tickets or whatever maybe do a showdown that way i don't know um hoping it's going to be uh hoping it's going to be a good game um i know it's good the i know the energy is going to be crazy but like i know sabin's retired it's a whole new time with like paying players and shit i know alabama you know it's nick sabin they're not going to be as good without nick saven but They're still Alabama. And I know Auburn kind of goes up and down.

I haven't heard anything from the last few years. I know they had a few tough years. But I've been so fucking busy. I haven't been able to pay attention to it. But I'm thinking if I'm going to go, I'm also going to order that SEC package. And I'll just sort of be watching. You know, I always try to watch LSU,

but I'm going to try to be like staying up on that. I still want to go to a game that's that big historically and not know. who the quarterbacks are and shit like that so in other words i'm doing guy shit i already bought my fucking espn you know uh fantasy football thing i don't play fantasy football but i just like how they rank the players and i got to get to know some of the things because anything better podcast is coming back with paul verzi um and jake the snake jake the snake we stole them we stole them the fucking six round pick we stole him from all things comedy got him for nothing and he's uh the big hit

of the show can't wait to be doing it with him um and andrew themelis and i got to tell you as great as paul verzi has been picking um jake the snake andrew themillus has been quietly right there with paul so you can win some money listening to paul and andrew and jake and doing the opposite of what I say that I'm doing. All right. That's it. That is the podcast, everybody. Don't listen to billionaires.

Okay. Don't listen to them. They own the politicians. Okay. There's plenty of money. There's plenty of food. There's plenty of places to live. They're just acting like there isn't.

And they're just trying to get us all to hate each other. And we should all come together and look at them and tell them to stop being cunts. All right? And let everybody fucking relax. all right you're not going to make jesus come back you fucking lunatic um all right that's it go fuck yourselves and i'll check in on you on thursday there