Monday Morning Podcast - Team USA, Turmoil, Italy v. France | Monday Morning Podcast 2-23-26

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

Bill rambles about Team USA, turmoil, and Italy v. France. Helix: A study they ran found that 82% of those involved saw an increase in their deep sleep cycle while sleeping on a Helix mattress.  Go to http://www.helixsleep.com/BURR for  27% Off Sitewide. Truewerk:  Don't let cheap gear slow you down this winter. Upgrade your day with workwear built like it matters.   Get 15% off your first order at http://www.TRUEWERK.com/BURR  

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrd. It's time for the Monday morning podcast from Monday, February 23rd, 2026. What's going on? I want you! Oh, my God. I just fucking woke up my whole family. My whole family.

It was in the living room, in my pajamas, my pajamas, my pajamas. And I was just sitting there going, we're going to lose to these guys. You know, they're going to tie it up. There it is. They tied it up. Who's going to get it in an overtime? McDavid, McKinnon,

fucking Sidney Crosby again, Brad Marchion, fucking Wilson, anybody but him, right? Dude, we score, and I don't know anybody's names. Okay, so don't even get on me. Okay?

I know Austin Matthews and I know Charlie McAvoy. And other than that, I got two kids under the age of 10, and I'm constantly going up to on the roof getting fucking baseballs off of it. so I don't know anybody's name. That kiddo got took the four-minute minor to the face.

Dude, it was classic, classic hockey. McDavid's coming down. They're like, ah, fuck, it's over. They make the save or whatever, we got the puck away from, and then all of a sudden it's a three-on-one down the other way. I still, I can't, I can't, I couldn't believe it went in. I was standing there. I didn't even, like, scream.

I was standing there, and I had my arms up, and then they were all celebrating, and I was waiting. I was waiting for a whistle. I was waiting for him to call it back. I was waiting to find out we had another game. And then it was just like, I had it like here three times. The Americans win the gold. I thought once they went pro, I was like,

I didn't think we were ever going to beat Team Canada. They're just, they're so goddamn good. I mean, still, even with the whole world, Russia, all of Europe and everybody coming in. Like, nobody has a team like Team Canada. So I can't believe we won. Congratulations. Congratulations to Austin Matthews.

Maybe these fucking Maple Leaf fans will stop blaming him for being so unlucky that he got drafted by you guys. How the fuck do you not win for 59 years and you're blaming some kid in his 20s? Like the people on the Maple Leafs that won for you guys are in their 80s and 90s now, the last time you won. Most of the people in the crowd that wore, watched are dead. It's not his fault. Goodwill Hunting. It's not your fault. Charlie McAvoy, B.U.

kid. I mean, I think the kid who scored the overtime goal was a B.U. Kid. Did you see his postgame interview? He said the same four things like five times in a row, and I was thinking, you know what, maybe he's a little concussed. Because you kind of forget, it's a hockey stick, it's a part of the game. It's also a wooden club that he took to the skull. Um, anyways, I was being a dick, too, when we won. I was screaming, oh my God, oh my God. And then I just started doing that fucking announcer for the Canadians. Oh, and Team Canada was like, how did that go in? Heck of a tour saved by Montableau. They didn't get it out. You got to get it out. Congratulations to the men's and the women's, by the way, and the women's. They were unbelievably entertaining. And I'm

telling you this right now, women's sports is going to fucking. grow as fast as AI, I feel like it is now. And because what's going to happen is they're just going to keep getting better. There's going to be some stories and all of that shit. And next thing, you know, men will be watching it and supporting it. And that's what's going to put them over the top. We've waited long enough for the women to give a shit after all of their speeches at the Emmys. They don't support one another.

So it's going to be up to us and we're up for the job. You know, as long as I feel like, I feel like, women's basketball is like 10 times better than it was three to four years ago. The softball's the shit. Volleyball has always been fun to watch. Sorry. The hockey's great. I mean, Jesus Christ, they were carrying the UFC for a long time. So I don't know. I think it'll be a great thing. Would that be amazing if all of a sudden they just took over and it was all like women's sports and then women like sports. And then that just cured like 90% of divorces.

Oh, Jesus. Unbelievable. Unfucking believe. I never, never. Dude, last time we won a gold medal, I was 11 years old. This is how long ago it was since the U.S. men's team won the gold medal. Like, Toronto was only 14 years removed. from winning the Stanley Cup.

But that's saying something, right? The Maple Leafs won't win it again this year, but at least you have Drake, right? You have Drake, you have Rush, you're the media capital of Canada. You got the Blue Jays. You know, Raptors won it a few years ago. Sorry, I got a fucking fighting off this cold.

I mean, it got me. Last few days I've just been like fighting it off. Oh my God. I cannot fucking believe we won that game. I knew it was coming. The overtime goal was coming, and I was just, who's it going to be? Who is it going to be?

And like, I don't even think like Canadian fans celebrate when they win the gold medal as much as it is like relief. I just think the pressure for them to win it every, there's only one medal you can win. It's the gold medal or else you got to go back there and listen to all these whining cunts. especially the Canadian fans. There's a lot of loafer wearing pocket square

having man boys up there that can't even handle stubbing their toe we're going to criticize that Team Canada, man. It was a great, they had a great show. What are you going to do? You lost in sudden death. God knows, an American hockey fan knows what the fuck that feels like.

So, condolences to the team Canada and to the real fans in Canada. But all you fucking finger-pointing fucking nerds who never got picked in gym class go to Tim Hortons and get yourself a donut. Have another donut, you fat pig. One of the greatest quotes in olive hockey.

Hey, Kowarski, have another donut, you fat pig. Donut. Somehow it made it seem more fattening the way he drew it out with his Canadian accent. Anyway, and just like that, just like that, the thrill of victory is now starting to fade. And then what happens? You have to face your life.

Speaking of facing life, Jesus Christ, somebody sent me this clip from Bill Maher's real time. And these people were sitting around talking about AI. And nobody ever says, why are they doing this? Why are they doing it? Nobody wants this. and they're just talking about how to deal with it, how you have to adjust to it. Those who adjust to it last are going to be left behind. Just trying to get the herd to start running.

But no one just sits there and says, you know, since the beginning of time, the king and the queen never wanted to pay anybody underneath them for their labor. Slavery, indentured servitude, the serfs, whatever, the feudalism system. the industrial revolution, the amount of people that died going on strike, going you have to pay us, we're getting injured at work and all of this stuff. And there was always some rich guy. And he had enough money, all the money that he was stealing from his workers, he'd pay for leg breakers to come down there and smash people over the fucking head.

And then we finally get unions and then they get mad so they move the factories out of the country. So then they can treat people in other countries. these innocent people, the way they treated people here in the 1800s, well now they have fucking AI so they could do what they've always wanted to do, not pay anybody anything, except this time it's going to be permanent. They're going to fire 10 to 20% of the labor force,

causing a depression for no reason other than the fact that they are insatiable and cannot have enough fucking money. Like, when is a politician on either side going to stand up and stop these people? It's fucking insane. because then all of those people are going to go on unemployment. Unemployment is paid through taxes. The fucking people who are creating it don't pay taxes.

And then that'll come out of whoever still has a job left check. It will be eating each other. And you watch, they're going to get us to just fucking kill each other. We need to all come together and just stop and stop having them divide us by red ties, in blue ties, in skin color, in sexual preference. it's us versus a very small amount of them. But Ted Turner and Rupert Murdoch will never let you hear that story. They're just going to keep going.

It's the liberals. It's the conservatives and keep us fighting with each other. It's unreal. Like the level of fucking, it happens in my business with these fucking streaming services. They've put half this town out of business. They clearly all got together and colluded during the strike. They're not paying anybody. anything. And then what kills me is then these executives, they show up at these events.

And they're all smiling. And you want to be like, what are you smiling about? Does it warm your heart that you're ending all of these people's dreams and their ability to pay their rent? They're literally not human beings. They're fucking reptiles. And I have to say, the amount of like junior executives working at these streaming companies, feeling like they're on the bus that's running all the artists over, it's like you're on the bus, but you don't realize you're on the hood hanging on to the fucking hood ornament like Indiana Jones. Like I saw on that real time with Bill Marr, they said that AI is now writing its own code. So even if you wrote AI code, now you're out of a job.

I don't know. I just don't understand. And there's nobody's going to do anything about it. You know, why would they? That Pelosi lady, she makes a couple hundred grand a year. her portfolios worth a hundred million dollars. She's a fucking criminal. Fucking criminal.

They're all fucking criminals. Trump has made like a billion dollars for himself. They're fucking criminals. Criminals. But she's a liberal. He's a conservative. So you got to look the other way and you ignore Pelosi if you're on the left and you fucking point your finger at Trump or if you're on the right,

you ignore Trump and you point your finger at the like, I don't know. like they can literally do anything that they want to do. They can go to Epstein Island. They can come up with their own fucking money system. They can post videos of the Obama's heads on top of monkeys and just nothing happens. Nothing happens. But I'll tell you, you know who they keep their eye on? Stand up comedians.

Stand up comedians. You do the jokes in the wrong place. Oh, they'll be hell to pay. They will be hell to fucking pay. All the rest of the shit, don't worry about it. Anyway, this is the first cold that I caught in over a year. I was doing great, but my son finally got a cold and, what am I not going to hug him? You know?

And he does this thing when I read him a book. Like he literally puts his head on my head. And then if he has a book that has like sound effects. on it. He like has like both forearms on my stomach and he has all his weight on his elbows. And I'm like, dude, first of all, your head is blocking the book. And he just thinks it's funny. And he was all in my grill. And then the next day, the next day I had the cold. And that was it. I'm still trying to remember what that girl said to him. It's the way kids put things. Do you not a whistle? Yes, I do, but I can't do it yet.

something like that. Yes, I do, but I can't. I know how to whistle. I just can't do it. It was that way. It was somewhere in that but said in that cute kid way. So anyway,

anyway, anyway. I just wish there was, you know, it's so brilliant how shit started to get deregulated under Reagan. And here we are 46 years. later and there's like no journalism left. There's no one to be have to say have you no shame.

You know, I just want somebody on a live television program to ask these fucking billionaires on their way to being trillionaires. Just ask them, why are you doing this? Like you understand what you're going to be doing. You're going to be making people out in the street, begging, begging, begging, food, begging for money, begging for shelter. You already have a 40,000 square foot mansion. Why are you doing this? Why would you do this to other people? How do you sleep at night? Do you believe in a higher power? Do you feel like there's judgment after this? Do you have access to top secret files that tell you without a doubt that we made up all this God shit. So this is how you can live this way because you have no fear of an afterlife judgment.

Is that what's going on? Because that's what I've noticed about all of these fucking people. The heads of all of these religions, the heads of all of these corporations, the leaders of countries, the way they tell you to live this moral lifestyle and, you know, the heaven and hell thing. And none of them seem to be even remotely living a life that's going to get them through the pearly Gates. Or maybe they actually are really close to immortality. They're just going to keep living, which I don't understand, like, why you would want to keep living. I get wanting to live a full life, you know, living into your 80s, 90s, you know, with all your faculties, right? You don't want to suffer. Quality of life still there. I get that. But like, you just want to keep living like a

fucking vampire? And it's like, all right, so they can keep like, oh, dude, I thought about this a long time ago. I feel like in the future, once they know how to keep people alive forever, the only purpose human beings will have is to reproduce with each other so they can use us as like a parts car, like when they need a liver. They just, all right, bring me in one of those. I'll take a liver, one kidney, and a couple of lungs, you know, and then they can just sit there doing blow and overdosing and fucking shooting heroin. You know, having sex with like fucking robots and shit. Then every once in a while, they'll just go into their parts car and have sex with an actual human.

They'll call it going, you know, I've been eating clean lately. I've been fucking organically. I'm actually having sex with a human being. Granted, it's against their will. But we've all been doing that down on Epstein Island for years. know, that doesn't bug us. You know? And as dark as this is, this is actually stuff that they probably talk about at those

fucking Bilderberg meetings, which once again is totally fine. Nobody has a problem with that. There's no reason to cover it on the news. Nothing to see here. And, uh, yeah. Well, like I said, you know, don't tweet the wrong thing. Oh boy, oh boy, is a regular person. You're going to get yourself in trouble there.

So anyway, anywho, I still feels like we have another game. I cannot fucking believe it. I just, I cannot, I can't believe it. Anyway, so old Billy Freckles, been fighting off this cold. I've been having some of the best sets of my life, though, despite being, uh, despite being sick here. And I had a friend of mine sent me this fucking, such a nice, uh, text after one of my sets saying that they could see that there was a real change in me

and that my whole vibe on stage was more open and more vulnerable. And then what I loved was they said, it was still unhinged in crazy, but it was lighter. That made me feel good. I'm still journaling, I'm still meditating, and I'm still doing yoga. Not every day, but it's like, I don't know, I'm a change person. The anger is gone. And how can I be angry when the women's and men's U.S. hockey teams have won gold? Oh, and Team Canada's like, they beat both the men and the women.

What do we do next? Do we go up against the they's? How about we go up Native Americans versus the originals? Oh, Jesus. Anyway, I have some gigs coming up in Canada. Not for a while, though. I think not until the end of August, but I don't think that'll be too soon to bring it up. I'm going to have a good time talking about that.

Come on, guys, you can't win it. You can't win it all the time. But I will say, I feel like women's hockey, the U.S. team, we've won it like at least two times in a row. I feel like we won it four years ago. And then we lost it overtime. The men's did. So I'll have to look that up. Either way, I really, like I was saying, I really feel that women's sports, the level of play in the last three years has got to the point where I watch the shit now, which is critical for women's sports.

In order for women's sports to be successful, men have to watch it because I don't know why. They're just not supporting each other. There's a lot of chatter out there about supporting one another. We'll see if it happens. Which would be great. Oh, my God. How amazing would that be for the male-female dynamic if women got into sports too? I mean, I tried to do the reverse.

I got into like real housewives and I started watching that shit with my wife. You know, it definitely helped a relationship. I don't know. It just doesn't go the other way, though. You know, that's funny. Men are much better at doing something they don't want to do just to keep the peace in the relationship.

You know, where I feel like if women are asked to do that, they just start crying. I mean, you saw me sitting here in the second period. You can see I wasn't having a good time. You didn't even say anything. Sorry. Anyway, plowing ahead here. So in the future, when we all get replaced,

it would be amazing if we could finally all just get on. the same page. And I feel like that is the number one thing that they're working on. I think that that's why right now is just so crazy and so fucking unhinged. And I feel like those Epstein Island files coming out and all of the shit that Trump is doing and all just in the 24-hour news networks, it's just all designed to get people. people to be running around like their heads are on fire. So no one could just stop, just stop and just be like, what are we doing? Why is there no harmony?

Why is everything us against this or us against them, us against that? Why aren't, if we're all in all of this God and first responders and support the troops and all of that, family values and all of that. And all of these that these fucking politicians and rich people are doing is heading us towards civil war, false flag wars, poverty and absolute chaos. Like, why are they doing that? They need to be stopped. I have no idea how to do it.

They own the military. They own the cops, the National Guard. they got the money and they got the media and whatever they want you to think, they're just going to broadcast it. And that's it. All right, you tell one half to think this, you tell the other half to think that. And you just say that our way is totally fucking right and these people are going to ruin the country and then just get that going.

And then we can just keep going, you know, the direction we're going. going, which is just totally taking everything for ourselves. I don't think that what happened in World War II was an anomaly. I don't think that that is, you know, it's just, it's documented, this film of it. So you can actually see what that level of evil looks like. I feel like that is cyclical. And we are just headed towards that, again. We have a bunch of Mussolidis and Hitler's and Stalin's.

and, you know, just going, you know, in FDRs and fucking Churchill's and all that. Let's be honest, they all committed war crimes, and they all knew it. And we firebombed Dresden, we knew goddamn well if we lost that war. It's like, you know, those guys said that, you know, if we lose this war, we're all going to get fucking killed for doing this shit. It's just all fucking horrific shit. This is a comedy podcast, everybody. No. Yeah, I don't know how to stop any of this shit. I'm just going to try to be a good dude. That's it. That's it. Try to help people out. Try to treat people the way that I want to be treated and then just try to get everybody to settle down.

Everybody's cool, except for these fucking rich cunts. That's it. What exactly is Jesus waiting for? He better get back here soon or no one's going to believe it's him. it's fucking AI how come he's walking on the water again why does he do an original miracle that would be hilarious wait doesn't it say that

in the Bible I don't fucking know and I will come back and you will deny me fucking six times sorry I had to blow my nose there and you will deny me six times I don't know. I will say this, though.

For a God that loves us, he certainly makes a lot of pretty colorful characters, doesn't he? You know? I think God takes this balance of the universe thing a little too seriously. You know, for every such and such amount of good, decent, empathetic people, I have to make this amount of sociopaths

and absolute fucking mouth-breathing morons. I think that's why I never fully got into politics on one side or the other. It's once you go political, it's like, in like three days, you're just going to meet mouth-breathing morons on either side. And both sides are just 100% convinced that they are 100% right. And there is no room for any other way of thinking. other than the way that they think. And which is the level of ignorance as a human being

to actually think that way. Like, just look at your life. How many fucking times you think you know what you're doing, you think you have the answers, you think you got it all figured out. And what is life doing? It gives you the right there, Fred, right? Like this morning, I'm all impressed with my fucking Billy barista skills.

I got the game on in the background. I go to make a coffee. Big bang, boom, right? I go to like, I got it down to a system. And I pour the shot, do the latte art, everything's great. Now I'm taking my, just did the shot. I'm knocking it on the rubber thing to have it drop down into the cup. That works.

And then I go to tip it over and the little hockey puck of fucking coffee bangs off that rubber thing that you hit the thing on. Misses the fucking barrel completely and lands. on the floor. Giant fucking mess. Giant fucking mess. Right there. The fact that I've done that a million times and that never happened and then it happens to that right there. That's just a little reminder like, hey, Bill, do you know, let's not go around thinking we're fucking smart and then we know everything. Hit the floor. Old me would have fucking flipped out. New me laughs. It just says, you know, what am I going to do? Pick most about my hand. I got the vacuum cleaner, cleaned it up. was over. Coffee tasted delicious. I didn't freak my family out. I was humbled in that moment.

I was reminded that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing most of the time. So why would I go around telling other people what to do? I mean, the information's out there if you want to, if you want to receive it. That's all I'm saying. All right. Well, I still don't have the average advertising reads here, so I'm going to hit pause here. Going to go play some drums. I've been telling you guys, I've been really listening to a lot of Pantera. And this one song, the intro, all the drum parts. Fiddy Paul, rest his soul, that war nerve.

You know, do do do, do, go-gagat-j-j-jog. That fucking thing in the beginning. He's playing triplets. and then it goes that da-da-da-j-j-j-j-j-j-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- and then... Jack-o-d-d-d-prepo-d-d-d-d-prept-dall-dh...

And then Phil comes in, you know? I've been having a great time doing that because I told you, I got that dad jam thing every Sunday. And I'm playing with some people that are into like Pantara and Primus and stuff. So two of my favorite drummers of all time, Tim Alexander and Vinnie Paul. And it's getting my double bass chops going again. Let's be honest, not chops, my attempts to do it. All right.

I'm going to hit pause here. Work on my Pantara. And I'm going to finish this podcast a little bit later. All right. All right, and I'm back. Getting over this fucking cold, dude. This fucking cold. Hey, so, of course, there's not a bunch of Canadian fans.

Now that the championship has been 24 hours old at this point, there's some of them grumbling, talking about how it was three on three, and blah, blah, blah. And that's not real hockey. It means not real hockey. What the fuck are you talking about? Like, first of all, like, didn't three on three, wasn't that more advantageous for them?

Three on three? Who are we going to put out there? All we have is Carter McDavid, Nathan McKinnon, Bradmore, Sean Sidney Crosby. It's a fucking Hall of Fame team. What are you whining about? And also, last time we played you in international play, we fucking beat you cunts. And we advanced to the championship round. and the way the tournament was set up, Canada was allowed to play their way into the championship.

And then we met Canada in the final. And then it became that the United States had to beat Canada twice. We had to go two and oh against them to be champions of that tournament. Canada only had to go one and one. They came into the championship game. They beat us. We beat them. They beat us.

We were one and one. They were one and one. They were the champions. It's like, all right. I mean, that's bullshit, but if that's the way it's set up, like that first game is considered like a regular season game so it doesn't count. All right. I didn't hear any Canadians whining about that. That didn't make sense to me.

You know, I don't know what to tell you. See in four years. Fuckos. No, actually, I'll see in August. I'm doing some gigs up there. I don't think it'll be too soon to bring this up. Oh my God, somebody sent me this fucking video on Trump's fucking, whatever, his social media. I'm not on social anymore, so people just text me shit.

I had to look up to make sure it was real. It was AI, him playing hockey in a suit. He had a stick, gloves, his suit with his red tie, no helmet. And he was just skating around and beating everybody. At first I thought it was Vladimir Putin highlights. I don't know if you ever seen him when he go. At least Vladdy Daddy actually gets on the fucking ice. Shout out to Stuart Scott, one of my favorite nicknames ever.

Rest his soul when he used to call Vladi Divac Vladi Dati. I fucking love that guy. Vladdi Dottie. Yeah. No, this is the thing. There's an unbelievable education. that is not given out there. And it's for human beings to recognize when they're working for,

living with, in a relationship, or maybe your parent is a narcissist. It's fucking wild. It's wild because when you're in it, you're blaming yourself the whole time. And then when you come out of it, you're like, what the fuck was that? Why was I so stupid?

And then if you actually pursue everything that the narcissist said, it ends up being like the ending of the usual suspects. Remember when Kevin Spacey's foot straightened out and he walks away and the guy realizes everything was bullshit? That's kind of like what it is. So if you look at this narcissistic behavior, it's like the U.S. hockey team won a gold medal. Okay? It's their time. They did it. he figured out a way to make it about him.

And he single-handedly is out there beating Team Canada. Like he's somehow an extension of it. It's like that, like right there. He saw, whoever made that video, he saw it and it made sense to him. Because that's how they view, the prism that they view the world through is all like through them. So I don't know what that was. I think that that was like his man fantasy of wishing he was young that he was still on the team. It's fucking unhinged.

Dude, we're going on 12 years of this. We're on 12 years of mentally ill people running this country, and it is not going good. I feel like both sides are like, oh, yeah, that's your unhinged guy? Here's our unhinged guy. Joe Biden, whatever the fuck that was. They used to put sunglasses on Joe Biden. Because he would, I believe, because when he would lose his place during his speech, he'd have panic in his eye. And I think it would cause, like, the stock market to plummet.

So they started putting them out there wearing fucking aviators. But, yeah, if you dated, one of the hardest things is they have a parent for a narcissist, because then you have to undo your whole fucking childhood. And it's like truths that are so fucking, like, real. It's so true. Like, you just, you look up to your parents, like, you know, they're superheroes to you. So these things that they tell you, you know, hopefully just have one. You come out the other side and like years and decades later, you go, wait a minute, that doesn't make any fucking sense.

That was just a fucking straight up lie. That was a fucking lie. That was just a lie. The whole thing was a fucking lie. So, anyway, I don't know. What are you going to fucking do? All right, let me do some of the reads here. The 13th annual Patrice O'Neill,

Comedy Benefit. I can't believe we've been doing it 13 years already. April 28th, it's a Tuesday at New York City Center. In New York City, we have an incredible lineup. Adam Ray, Davidel, Drew Dunn, Jordan Jensen. Matt Richards, Zanagark, and me Bill Burr, and as always, the great Rich Voss, will be emceeing.

Dare I say, a reverse narcissist. I'm just going to make fun of Rich the entire fucking time. And then right before the benefit, we'll have them on the podcast and he can trash me like the old days. Tickets are on sale now. They can be purchased at Patricecomedy Benefit. Oh, sorry, at Patricecomedybenefit. All right.

Let's get into the reads here. Helix, everybody. Hellix. How are you navigating the colder season and spending more time? Oh, how are you navigating the colder season and spending more time indoors, parentheses, in your bedroom? Staying comfortable inside with your Helix mattress? A good night's rest, set you up for a great day. If that isn't the truth, then I don't know what is. I don't know.

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Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. What does that mean? Why don't you tell them what the fuck to write in there? I feel like they're screwing me. Oh, there it is. Sorry. I take it all back. Helixleksleep.com slash burr.

It was in a different color. I didn't feel like it was the same as the copy. Listen, people, I'm just a fucking old ginger getting over. cold work with me all right true work t r u e w erk work like twerk true work twerking at work will this get you a corner office according to jasmine it does uh winter job sites don't mess around freeze in mornings wet conditions wind that cuts right through your cheap gear you need workware that performs when it's brutal out there do true work builds maintenance work wear like it matters because it does, dude. You down there with your Duncan's coffee, right?

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Anyway, why does it always go up to the top of you when I don't scroll it like that? You know, I've asked you guys. I've asked you guys. All right, sport commentators. My wife asking me how I'm doing, taking care of me when I'm sick. I'll tell you she's all right. Sports commentators. Hello, Mr. Burr.

Making me feel my age. Hello, Mr. Burr. I was wondering if your son is home. Thanks for the podcast. Writing from Berlin, Germany, about sports commentators. Imagine you watch football, soccer in Germany, pure negativity, expecting failure, waiting for the mistakes. Game starts. The guy leans back and it's like,

Oh, no. I have to go through 90 minutes of embarrassment and failure and mispasses and whatnot. Don't they sell a product, the German Football League? Do they not enjoy the game? No idea. Oh, you're saying the announcers over there? Trash. Their own team? That's kind of funny. Sounds like some major league shit. Don't they sell the product, the German Football League?

Did they not enjoy the game? No idea. Last example. If you listen and watch the British commentators and some player fucks out, silence. Everyone saw it. No need to put the finger in the wound or to say. Or they turn it around. Good pressure by the defending team. Provocation of a mistake. Something like this. Sell the product. Or am I wrong? Is it a German thing? Yeah. Schidenfreude. How is it in the U.S.? So, so, thanks for the podcast. Greetings. Sorry about my English and have a good day. There's definitely negative people, but people feel more like over here. They never

don't sell the game. They always sell the game. That's what's funny when you know it's going to be a bad game and you just listen to this guy have to put on his positive hat and tell you how this is actually going to be, you know, when like the fucking pelicans

were playing the Warriors back in the day. Like they'd always be somebody selling the game like this was going to be a close contest. But I feel more like there's definitely former players that have grudges against teams or players, it seems, when you're watching. The funny thing was Tim McAarver. When Tim McAarver was in the booth, all Red Sox fans thought he hated the Red Sox and all Yankee fans thought he hated the Yankees. And I think it was both were true. He was a St. Louis Cardinal. And I think he was in the Boston organization. And I think they cut him.

Something happened. So he didn't like us for that. And then he didn't like the Yankees because they were fucking winning all the time and fuck those guys. So I kind of liked that he didn't like it. But, you know, I live over here in capitalism. So all it is is, you know, we sell everything regardless what it does to people. Like literally synthetic heroin. Like, this is amazing.

Like, my favorite thing now is, like, all these new drugs that are coming out. Like, they literally come out with, like, the original name is like the street name. Like that Sky Rizzy. Like, am I really supposed to think like that's the name of the product? That's like something like a drug dealer would say, like back in the day, going down to the Boston Comedy Club in the village. Weed Coke, Sky Rizzy. You, I got that Sky Rizzy.

That just sounds like a psychedelic. So, yes, in answer to your question, the people who announce over here are painfully aware that they work. for a billion dollar corporation. So, you know, they don't criticize the game or shit on the fucking team because they want to get paid. Sorry, I'm getting fucking dressed here. You didn't need to know that, did you?

Sorry, I just get conscious about the fucking the noises I'm making here. I went down to a fucking monster truck thing yesterday with my son. And afterward, we got to meet some of the drivers. We did the meet and great thing. I got the full package. And I was just watching that thing going like the level of herniated discs that these guys must suffer. Because the amount of times, like, they would go flying through the air and then they would land hard and like the steering column would just fucking break or something. And they couldn't drive anymore.

And I'm like, all right, well, that just broke metal. What is that doing to bone in cartilage? Like, what is going on there? So I got to talk to one of the drivers. I was kind of joking about it. I was saying, you know, hey, how much is your back take that impact? He goes, well, it depends on the night. It all depends, you know.

He goes, the truck takes 90%. And he goes, we take 10%, but on any given night. And like, I was trying to keep it light. I go, how tall were you when you first started this sport? And the guy goes, oh, yeah, I've definitely lost some inches. And I was like, oh, my God. This dude talked about how he broke his fucking sternum. Like I felt like I was talking to like a NFL running back.

So the next time you go to one of those monster truck things, I have to tell you, also being in show business, the sacrifice that these people are making to put a show on for you is fucking incredible. I was another dad buddy of mine. We brought our sons. It was fucking awesome. Had a great time down in Anaheim. Traffic wasn't too bad either.

Anyway, let me do some of the reads here. and then I got to get all of my fucking dad day here. The dad day. Okay, let's see here. What's the next question? Is this head to head, huh? Okay, head to head. Hey, Billy Blumkins,

I know you fancy yourself a bit of a Frenchman, but these Winter Olympics going on, you seem to get a twinkle in your eye and a fondness in your words for the Italians. I love Italians. I love Italy. I love their food. The whole thing.

I often find myself going back and forth between these two cultural behemoths of Europe, the French and the Italian. Oh, dude, I love France, Italy, Greece. I want to go to Spain and Portugal. Anything along the Mediterranean, I just feel like people know how to live. Their food is great. The women are beautiful. The weather's awesome.

I love that part of the world. I felt the same way when I went to Tel Aviv when I was in Israel. I didn't get any shit for it. that. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's such a funny world. But I went there, and it was great. Women were beautiful. It was fucking insane.

It's so fucking insane. Israel was the most insane place I went to. It was just like, what are we fighting? This is fucking place is gorgeous. Everybody here is gorgeous. Food's fucking awesome. I almost said, look at the lake. The Mediterranean seas right here.

Like, what is the fucking? What is the problem? Oh, that's right. The cunts at the top. That's what it is. Cunts at the top on both sides. They're going to do this. They're going to do that.

It's like, no, you are. You're doing that. You think that. We don't. We're just hanging out, having a fucking kebab, you cunt. Greedy fucks. Anyway, I often find myself

going back and forth between these two cultures. So I want to know which country you would tip the nod to, oh, I love this. in this following head-to-head challenge of who does it better? Cars.

Oh, Italy. Come on, dude. That was insulting. Weather? Um, I want to say Italy. They're further... Are they further south? They're kind of the same. I would say that's a push.

Language. Ooh. I like French a little bit. I love them both. Fuck, that's a push. Capital City. I got to go Paris. art

come on people you know me I'm not a fucking I would say the Italians you know anybody lays on their back for fucking three months painting some priest's ceiling

I gotta give it to you um coffee oh no doubt fucking Italy wine oh you motherfuckers dude what the fuck wine

I mean I love a barolo all right it's wine and cheese of the next two Dude, you can't. You can't. You just can't. Food, overall, I got to go Italy.

Dude, wine and cheese is a push. And then the women, oh my, dude, you're just making me realize how much I love this part of the world. I got to go, Parisian woman, get the fuck out of here. Makes you be a better man. Just like fucking Jack Nicholson.

Yeah, I'd have to say, I'd give them the noise. I just love the way they dress. Parisians in general It's all muted And then bam It's a scarf It's an umbrella

It's just something A little pop of color They're so fucking stylish It's ridiculous Anyway Maybe my answers Will change after your response But this is what I got

Cars Italy hands down Ferrari Lamborghini Maserati Up against Bugatti Is a Bugatti A Bugatti is French That sounds Italian

I don't like the Bugatti. Renaud is like old money and new money, if you know what I mean. Weather, I'm going with France here, but I'm also from the Pacific Northwest, so I could be swayed. Language, both romance language, but on the other side of romance. Italy has gangster, and whereas French is just weasily. Italian gets the wind here. Dude, this is a fun game.

Capital City, I simply don't understand why people cream themselves over Paris. the ancient ruins and the Vatican. Oh, isn't the Vatican great where all those people were fucking molested and all the stolen shit in the basement and they found all of those Jewish people's valuables from World War II in there? Dude, fuck the Vatican.

Don't put the Vatican in fuck. That has nothing to do with Rome. It's a sovereign state. The Vatican is not part of Italy. That's its own country. But I will say, the food in Rome was unbelievable. I don't give a fuck about the world. the ruins. I really don't. I just love the whole vibe there and the energy of the city. I mean,

it's really a push. Anyways, the person said, the ancient ruins in the Vatican give the Louvre and the tower a run for its money. And in my opinion, the city is way more walkable and welcoming Rome all the way. They're definitely friendlier in Rome. Not saying they're friendly, but they're friendlier. I think there's a certain level of ego that comes to living in one of the best cities, you know, and it's, it's kind of funny because everybody thinks that they're the reason, they're part of the reason the city's awesome. And, you know, like they're leading the race when they're really drafting behind it, you know? Like New Yorkers are like that. New Yorkers all just think they're fucking fascinating people, and they also feel that everyone is enamored with them.

Now, New York City is a fucking magical, amazing fucking place, but, you know, I, I, I stopped short of saying that all of the people there are the same. They're not. It's the overall. It's the overall. It has to do with all the people that pass through and visit, interacting with the people that fucking live there. But most, you know, I mean, it's a really, like, low-key meathead city.

And I'm coming from Boston, so game recognizes game. Like Boston, New York, and Philly. It's the same meathead with a different accent and skyline or whatever. But I love all of those cities. All right, what happened? This thing just went all the way up here. Okay, art, this is a dead tie. Monet.

Dude, I don't know any of these people. Cizane, Rodin, falls short compared to Da Vinci, Carvaccio, and Bernini for the painting and sculptor to of a friendship, but France absolutely kills it in the philosophy program with Descartes. Okay, dude, I get it. You're smart. And the fucking enlightenment. There you go. Coffee, another close one.

Really? But I had a cup of coffee north of Milan that made me cry, whereas every cup of coffee given to me in France came with a side of judgment. This one goes to Italy for me. I thought the coffee in France fucking sucked. They're more like into tea. I think that that's how they I think that's how they roll

I'm not sure but all right cheese parmesan all right sorry cut off my wife FaceTime me all right we're cheese food

sorry man all the duck and raw meat in the world will never stand up to pasta I agree women probably the hardest one of the lot but I'm going France here merely for the lower likelihood of having to wake up early for a church on Sunday morning

after a night with them. Now that you're fluent in French, maybe you'll start taking some Italian lessons anyways. Thanks for all the laughs and go fuck yourself. I wish I was fluent in French. I am not. All right. I have to wrap this podcast up. I got to go do some family shit here. Thank you guys for listening. I appreciate it. What else? I don't know what it is. Just, you know, I don't know. that fucking hockey video Jesus Christ unhinged narcissist nothing we can do about it

but you know just fucking try to educate yourself and try never to work for live with fall in love with something like that it's a mentally ill mentally ill situation all right that's it go fuck yourselves I'll check in on you on Thursday