Monday Morning Podcast - The Game, Dean's Birthday, Beer Scam | The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-6-26
Episode Date: February 6, 2026Bill rambles about not going to the game, drumming at Dean's Birthday Show, and the Seahawks stadium beer scam. (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (29:28) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 2-5-18 - Bi...ll rambles about Eagles historic win, man titted c-notes, and F1. (01:37:48) - Anything Better Podcast Super Bowl Preview - The Super Bowl is here! Bill and Paul make their picks and wrap up the season. Zip Recruiter: Try for free at http://www.ZipRecruiter.com/BURR Kalshi: Kalshi is where you put your money where your prediction is. Download the Kalshi app and get $10 when you deposit with code BURR
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Hey, what's going on?
It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday,
morning podcast and I'm just checking it. I'm just checking in on you, you know, just seeing
how's going. I'm going to fucking run my yap for 30 goddamn minutes. Been talking all morning,
pitching fucking shows and shit. But here I am. Getting ready for Super Bowl Sunday.
Hey, Bill, you're going to the game? No, I am not. I'll be in the affinity. I'll be up there.
I thought about going to the game.
But like when I went to that that KC San Francisco game,
I just couldn't believe how long the commercial breaks are.
Because I hadn't been to a Super Bowl in like 20 years.
And it's always been a bit of a spectacle.
But I don't know.
I'm just, I'm into the game.
I want to see the game.
I want to hear the announcers.
I want to know what's going on.
You know, I don't need somebody from the fucking food network doing cartwheat.
with some K-pop band or whatever the brand-adjacent shit is going on.
It's really fucking crazy that these athletes that perform in the Super Bowl,
I would really think that the head coach is like part of your game plan has to be talking
about the pacing of the game, how long halftime is, how long the commercial breaks are,
how many things, like, how do you keep your head in the game?
Going away that, I mean, there's enough time to heal from an injury on some of those commercial.
Hey, I'll tell you, it's a long time, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, and then just then also like this whole, you know, I'm just, I've aged out of going to games,
I feel like, games of that magnitude when there's going to be an extra level of like,
Comic-Con, people just, like, dressing up.
I was just joking with a buddy of mine.
It said, back in the day, you could tell what somebody did for a living by what they wore
at a game.
Do you see people dressed in jeans and a t-shirt?
Someone else would have a suit on.
You just fucking came from work.
You just went to the game.
You didn't have to dress like you were on the field.
And then you didn't stand up unless something exciting was happening.
that whole new thing that I stand up and I yell the whole game
and that means I'm more of a fan than you are.
I mean, it's like, I don't know.
I don't get it.
I don't know why you're wearing eyeliner.
I don't know why you have a football helmet on.
Why you feel the need that you're going to be the cheerleader of the section.
I don't know.
Where did it start?
Did it start in Cleveland first with the dog pound when there was grown fat men
eating dog biscuits?
it's thinking they were intimidating the other team.
I always love that.
You think your costume is intimidating people.
It's like they have to deal with actual violence in the result of concussions that are going to affect their quality of life until the day they die.
But, you know, you're overhead dressed like Boba Fett.
I'm sure that that's a major distraction.
So anyway, yeah, the let's the let's.
Let's fucking go.
Whenever that started.
I think players started saying it first, and then everybody else starts saying it.
I just saw this great highlight of even like in women's sports, they're doing it.
And there was this great highlight of this woman rounding third base and she's going into home plate and the ball gets there.
And she fucking leaps over, like head first over the catcher, goes past home bait and comes back and touch her.
goes past home bait and comes back and touches
play. It was an amazing play.
But then when she gets up, she gets in the catcher's face and goes,
oh!
Yeah, that's supposed like, that's when I stopped clapping.
I'm like, why did you just do that?
I don't, you know, if you get up to the plate next and you strike out,
then what happens?
Does the pitcher walk all the way up to you and go,
like that dumb shit.
I'm not going to blame women because guys started doing it.
I don't understand that.
And then that is now bled into the stands.
Like the amount of people in the stands that should get a flag for taunting.
Like I don't understand.
It's like I like my team.
I'm rooting for my team.
But I understand that I'm not doing anything.
So as much as I'm given.
athlete shit for making a play on somebody else and yelling in their face. At least they did
something. At least they did something. But to be in the stands, like, that's never made sense
to me that it escalates to the point, like the fighting in the stands. It just never,
somebody's rooting for another team. And you escalate it to the point where there's a fight
and then you get escorted out by the cops and possibly are now facing.
some sort of assault charge. I don't know. Dad's getting into fights at each other at kids' games.
Like, there's just a lot of people that aren't happy with their own lives. That's kind of like
what I'm feeling. And listen, I'm not saying that I don't get like ridiculously into shit.
But like, I don't get, I've never gotten so into something that I'm going to taunt a perfect stranger.
Oh, maybe hell, you know what? You know what? That's not right. Maybe like in, like when I'm driving, road rage or whatever or something like that.
Even like in my stand-up act, if somebody like heckles me or whatever, like, I try to keep it. I'm not trying to escalate it to like a physical confrontation.
I'll deal with the person. But like, I usually just like ask questions or something of something of that nature.
I don't know. Maybe maybe I'm not, maybe, maybe it's because I don't want that smoke, as the kids say.
Maybe I'm not tough enough to be in, to be in this world. I don't know, I don't know what it is.
But like, it is kind of fascinating where you see like when fans act like the people on the court, like where does it start?
Who's influencing who? Who's the parent? Who's the kid?
Yeah. And it, it, it.
Is there an age where you're too old to wear like a jersey with another man's name on your back,
like your high school sweethearts?
Anyway, all right, I think I've said enough.
Having said that, yeah, I'm just going to watch it over a buddy's house up there.
I'm going to smoke a cigar, watch a little bit of the game.
This is my last, by the way, this is my last weekend of cigars,
and then I go back on another one of my three-month sabbaticals.
And then I'm just sort of on my way.
But anyway, let's talk about this week.
I finally watched that Bruins, Tampa Bay Lightning game, the stadium series, and Jesus Christ,
we were up 5 to 1.
Ended up losing the game, I think, 6 to 5.
And I haven't quite finished the third period.
But, like, the last five minutes, seven minutes of the second period is the most
undisciplined period of hockey.
I think I've seen in a long, fucking, it was like contagious.
We just kept taking one penalty.
after another. And as much as like the refs missed that penalty on Tampa and McAvoy got in the guy's face,
he was right. All the penalties they called on us were right. Like, I didn't know what we were doing.
It was one of the greater acts of self-sabotage I've seen in a while. So, you know, it was such a, we were playing,
we completely took the crowd out of the game. And in five,
minutes. They had two five on threes. And then we got another penalty. But there's no way for you to go
down. They won't have you out there five on two. So what they do is they send somebody to the box.
And I think it just extends how long you're on five on three. The guy was trying to do the math.
They literally ran out of places for people to sit down. Like you ever see back in the day when like
an extra pilot would fly like Leonardo DiCaprio and Catch Me if you can, they had that little
jump seat. I didn't realize there's a little jump seat in the penalty box. Once you get three people
sitting there, then there's this extra one. They just sort of pull it out like a folding chair.
We had four people in there. It was like Castellick was in there. I think Coralli was in there
for covering up the puck. Castellick for cross-checking somebody after they scored on a
fucking Swamen. Our goaltender. The guy had like 11 penalty minutes in his career, got seven
minutes in the final like seven minutes of the second period.
One, two for delay a game and five for fighting when they had a great goalie fight.
So the goalie fight was great, though.
So I know he played Florida.
I heard it was a great game.
I don't know who won, but if I was a betting man, I would have bet on the Bruins just
because of that brain fart of the second period we had and they would want to redeem themselves.
And as far as I saw, I think.
I think Marshawn is day-to-day. I think he was out for the Panthers, which is weird saying
Marchons out and being relieved through all those years of rooting for him when he was wearing
the Bruins jersey there. So, anyway, plowing ahead. I did the, I did Dean Del Rey's 60th birthday party
at the Avalon. We did the Bon Scott tribute again. And just had so much fun. I did fun. I did
fun doing stand-up, Ian Edwards, Byron Bowers, Russell Peters, Dean and myself, everybody just screwing around.
And all these people were there, my half-brother, now that everybody knows, was there.
Jerry Cantrell was there.
Fucking Gene Simmons was there.
He showed.
He came out and he played.
It just was fucking, it was insane.
Mikey Ness, Josh Z, Billy Rowe, Dean Del Rey, of course, and Steve Gorman.
And then, you know, Brad Wilk was supposed to be there.
And unfortunately, he got the flu.
And at 10 o'clock at night, the day before the gig, Dean text me, he goes, can you reach out?
Can you somehow get to Chad Smith?
So I knew somebody that knew him, reached out to him within five minutes.
Chad's like, all right, yeah, I'll do it.
What time's the show?
And we're like 7 o'clock doors, 8 o'clock show.
He goes, all right, I got something to 7.
I'll be there.
And he showed up.
He didn't even do sound check.
He just sat down and played and crushed it and didn't even meet a beat.
So Steve Gorman was already crushed.
And then Chad crushed.
And I had to follow those two fucking beasts.
And not only are they obviously professionals and they're amazing.
They're also really tall mountainous men.
And all fucking average size Billy goes.
out there. I got adjust everything.
I just left the hi-hat where it was, and I just had
to bring the snare to
where I could handle it or whatever.
And went out and played.
I had a great time. I thought it was the most relaxed I've played.
Made a bunch of mistakes or whatever, but I was able to just, you know,
not drop the beat or whatever. And
drum sounded great.
And I don't know.
I just...
So I did Sin City,
which, you know, is just classic.
you know, Phil Rudd's tricky shit or whatever.
But it's more like just being locked in with like sort of his feel or whatever.
So I did that one and Dean sang that one.
And then the second one I did dirty D's with Alison Mosshart.
It was just like a total, you know.
I mean, she fronted dead weather.
I mean, she's fucking unbelievable.
Just unbelievable.
And her energy was crazy.
And that really helped me.
So I wasn't like nervous because I was just, I was watching like a fan.
I was like, look at her.
She is a woman.
possessed when she gets up there and sings.
And then Dean came out, came back out, and we finished with, oh, hell ain't a bad pace to be
the live version of it, which is one of my favorite songs off of that album.
And that killer, if you want blood, you got it, live album.
So, and Josh Hami came out in the end and sang,
what the fuck did he sing?
Night prowler.
I know I'm forgetting people.
There was so many goddamn people on that.
Oh, Justin Chancellor from Tool played bass on a couple.
Yeah, man, it was kind of the who's who of everybody that I listened to in the 80s and 90s.
It was just unbelievable.
So thank you to Dean and happy birthday to Dean.
It's just like one of the great, like,
and then all the fans who came out,
they get so fucking into it.
And it's such a fun show because I feel like,
it's like the crowd and everybody on stage
is all expressing how much they all love the same band.
So there's this synchronicity that's going on that is,
it just was just, I don't know, it was such a good time. And by the way, too, like, I play all the
time in my little drum room or whatever, but to actually play like a drum kit that's like
miced up and shit, it just sounds like, I don't know, it's like, it's like going from riding
a little electric scooter to being on a motorcycle. It's just the most amazing feeling
in the world. And I always end up, I always end up, I always end up. I always end up.
learning something like I feel like that night as far as learning drums I like watching
Steve Gorman when he does his when he does the sound check and even then I was going I see what he's
doing here he's sort of like he gives him the dynamics you know he just sort of hits the snare a few
times the loudest he's going to do it the quietest he's going to do it then he plays a little fill on it
then he does the same with the rack tom and then he kind of adds both drums I was just sort of watching how
we did that, where so the person could dial in each drum individually. And here's, I'm going to be
sort of throughout this gig playing the drum from this level to this level loud. Here's what these two
drums sound like together. And then in the end, here's what the whole kit sounds like. I saw that thing.
And then seeing Chad Smith come in, not rehearse at all and sit down and sound like he's been playing
with these guys for like 10 years. I was like, oh, that's not chili peppers, Chad. That's,
studio musician, Chad Smith, where he likes his plate on people's albums where, okay, this isn't a
chili pepper thing here. I have to come in and figure out what this person's vibe is.
And how, I don't know, he just listened to the songs in the car.
Just sort of made, he didn't have anything written down. He just sat down and played him.
And if he made a mistake, I didn't see where it was. It was fucking amazing. It was really amazing.
So like I said, thank you to Dean and everybody who came out.
It was beyond, as always, beyond a great time.
And anyways, what do we got?
So the Super Bowl's coming up this week.
I like the, you know, if I can get the Patriots around four and a half, I love the Pats.
I feel like if you take, if it's at three, because I haven't looked at the line.
If it's at three, I feel that's going to be a push.
I just think it's going to be a close game.
Seattle is obviously the more talented team,
and I think more of a powerhouse of a team.
So we're going to have to shut that down.
So it's going to be like this is going to be like one of those Belichick games
where he shuts down John Elway in the fun bunch,
Jim Kelly and the run and gun.
Or when he shut down the Rams, greatest show on turf.
Like we're going to, I mean, I'm not saying their offenses are that level,
but like we're going to have to do something.
We're going to have to out-coach them.
is what I'm thinking.
And I think we got a fighter's chance.
I feel like this game is like a pick-em with a four and a half point spread, hopefully.
And at that point, I will take my New England Patriots.
It is something that they, nope, that they won't bring up because for whatever reason,
I don't know how we pissed off people in the NFL.
I don't know what happened.
But we never get our props.
Like the way they blow Seattle, like, God, their fans are just so loud.
And literally their owner was fucking their own fan base
that time when he was charging the extra money for a large beer
and it was the same amount of beer.
And the guy still has a nerve to go around smiling like he's on your side.
He's a piece of shit.
I'm not saying Seattle Seahawk fans are pieces of shit.
I'm saying your owner is a piece of shit.
Who does that to their own fan base?
How much fucking money?
He already made him buy your stadium.
Now you're going to fuck us on the beer?
cunt. Anyway,
I just got all
upset with that guy. You know, this is
the deal. If the Patriots win the Super Bowl,
that will be their seventh Super Bowl win,
giving them the most Super Bowl
titles in the history of the
Super Bowl. So we will have the most Super Bowl titles,
and we will have the most NBA championship.
So two out of four of our teams
will have the most fucking titles
in the sport.
Which is, we're already tied and we have the most, which is incredible.
Do you think they ever give us props for that?
No.
All they all, this because it is.
So weigh the footballs.
They just do that shit to us.
And then meanwhile, New York City has like nine zillion fucking teams and they all suck.
They all suck and they live on the past of the fucking New York Yankees.
And then they act like something unbelievable, you know, they blow that place.
I don't know. I will never fucking get it.
I will never, I will never understand that.
That New York, I guess it's because there's so many people there, that's where the money is.
I mean, if you want to take it out of Boston, you know, like, just, just go with, like, the NBA.
Why do the Knicks get the level of attention that they get during the fucking playoffs?
They suck.
Every fucking year, they blow it.
They blow it every fight.
They've blowed it for over half a fucking century.
And they get more goddamn attention for losing in the second, third round of the playoffs every year than I think the Golden State Warriors and San Antonio Spurs got combined.
I'll even throw in the Denver Nuggets when they won it that year.
That was such a great story.
Well, that guy was like, there's a parade.
I don't want to fucking go.
You could give a shit.
That was like really interesting.
Nah, that's Denver.
There's no money out there.
It's a bunch of dirty white people.
rafting, drinking Coors light.
Anyway, sorry.
Plowing ahead here. Let me do the reads for the week.
What do we got for this Thursday?
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Like people lost their lives to start unions.
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Because they weren't paying us a living fucking wage.
And we're going right back to it.
And what kills me is the amount of people that,
are like fucking
supporting these
modern day like
Robert Barron's.
I don't want to get all
into this dark shit
but it's just like
sometimes I think about that
like just how fucking cruel they are
like why can't you just like
I don't know
if I ran some giant company
I have a little production company
I pay my people
but if I ran some giant thing
like they'd be
I wouldn't want anybody who worked for me
like laying in bed at night going
like oh my God my kid needs braces
and I got to do
how the fuck am I going to do?
do this. Like one of those idiots said that shit. I want my employees to come to work afraid,
go to sleep afraid, wake up afraid. I don't know. I think that that's like just some nerd shit.
Like that's how they felt when they went to school. So now they're sort of drunk with power and
they want, you know, the abused becomes the abuser. I don't know what it is. But it's so weird that
we're all used to it. We're all used to in this country, United States, we're used to the fact
that if you get sick, even though you're making all of this money and you're working all of
these hours per week, you don't have enough money to take care of yourself. You know,
since I've been like in my 20s, American health care has been, don't get sick. It's fucking
nuts. Anyway, and then if you say that, hey, you know, people, if they get sick, we know,
we should take care of it. What are you a fucking con?
communist? No, I'm just, think that if somebody gets sick as human beings, we should help
them out. Oh my God, that thought is radical. All right. Anyway, enjoy the Super Bowl,
everybody. As always, I will be watching it with some friends, and I tell you this every year.
You want to enjoy the Super Bowl if you're just really into the football and not all the other
bullshit. Go hang out with some friends.
Everybody shuts their phones off.
You fucking barbecue or smoke a cigar, do whatever.
Let the game get like an hour ahead.
Maybe even a little more.
Let it get to like fucking halftime.
And then you just turn it on and you just fast forward through all the goddamn commercials.
That's the way to do it.
I think anyways.
You don't have to do it that way.
All right.
My stomach is growling.
I have hiccups.
And I'm looking at a pork chop.
All right.
I'm out of here.
You guys have a great weekend.
Enjoy the Super Bowl.
And I'll talk to you.
on Monday. Hey, what's going on?
It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday.
February 5th, 2018.
What's going on?
How are you?
How you doing?
I'm actually doing pretty good after a Super Bowl loss.
Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles winning their first Super Bowl championship.
The first one.
First one's the best one.
If my team hadn't lost, I would have gone online or something like that just to watch grown men crying in Philadelphia over sports, which is one of my favorite things ever.
I remember when the Patriots won their first one.
I was actually at the game, having gone previously to when we lost to fucking Brett Favra.
He took off his helmet and ran down the field.
I bet his agent cried on that play.
We're going to make so much money.
look at him he's so adorable um have you seen a picture of his dick lately no um i just remember
when when we uh kicked that field goal and we won and i'm gonna say we by the way and people go
oh we uh you weren't on the field yeah well i get shit when my team loses all right
whenever your team wins people go um you weren't playing but if your team loses then they go
ah fuck you guys you guys lost so suck a dick
All right, we lost yesterday.
Anyways, I remember when we kicked a field goal to win the fucking thing.
And everybody tackled each other and I got up.
There was this guy just standing there.
He was just standing like tears in his eyes.
Like he was going to fucking start crying.
And my eyes met his and he was looking at me.
It's the weird.
To this day, it's the weirdest moment that I've had with another male.
I can see if we were at a fucking funeral.
Jesus Christ, you know, man the fuck up.
And I also remember, if I was in Philadelphia, I would want to hear from that guy,
one of my favorite things this year in the football season was when that carcin Wentz went
down and that Eagles fan called in the radio station and started breaking down crying
to the point he freaked out the radio host.
He called up, he was like sort of complaining that all of a sudden he's just like,
I mean, when's it going to happen for us?
You know?
Fucking radios.
It's going like, buddy, buddy, you're crying?
Oh, it's great.
It was just fucking great.
So I would love to hear that guy's follow-up call.
He's probably crying even more.
So I really wish when I finally saw the Eagles win the Super Bowl that they weren't playing my team.
So I could have enjoyed it more because that is something as a sports fan that I really enjoy.
Because there's only two fan bases that I just wish eternal misery on.
And that's the Yankees because I have to, the same way they do it with Red Sox fans and the Montreal Canadians.
Other than that, you know, I would never wish that, you know, a fan base never got to feel a championship.
So congratulations to you guys.
All right.
Now, having said that, I've had that Don Henley song in my head this whole morning, just thinking about the game.
because there's always that fucking devastating shock when your team loses.
And the song I woke up hearing today for whatever reason was Don Henley's last worthless evening.
And I was walking around the kitchen.
I was just singing, that was the worst fucking defense that I've ever seen.
Dude, that was the, you know, it was an exciting game.
But if you really look at it, that was arguably the ugliest fucking Super Bowl.
ever seen.
It was like both teams were in a fucking prevent defense the entire game.
That was a fucking Super Bowl people.
There was two punts the entire game and no sacks unless you call count the Brady
fumble, which I don't know how that works.
If you slap the ball out and then you tackle the quarterback, if that's considered
a sack.
I heard them kind of alluding saying this was the first sack of the game.
I was at a Super Bowl party, which I usually did.
don't do, but I got a kid now.
And I went and actually, you know, I had a good time.
A bunch of kids running around, throwing balls and all that stuff.
And I was being the lunatic sitting in the other room by myself trying to watch the
game or whatever.
But anyways, you know what's great about having a kid?
You don't have to watch the halftime show.
I'm going to put her in the stroller and go for a walk.
So I don't even know who played the halftime.
I just kept walking by the front door and I kept hearing music.
And when the music ended, I came back in and then somebody goes, hey, great time.
Great timing.
I watched a few of these.
Watched a good 40 of them.
Anyways, I've never seen, like, the defense was so fucking bad in that game.
It was literally like, how did either one of these teams even make it here?
I don't know if it was the weird matchup or what.
I mean, I don't know anything about the fucking Eagles, considering I thought that
fucking Sproles guy was still playing.
But I did call it with the running game.
I just didn't know was that fucking dude you got from the dolphins.
Whatever, right?
But I knew that that was going to be a problem.
Yeah, I don't know what the fuck happened to the Eagles.
But I will tell you, the New England Patriots, the game this season where I went like, oh, boy.
Oh, Jesus.
We ain't winning it this year.
It was when we played the Pittsburgh Steelers.
And we went down, we went down and we scored.
The fucking game was over.
There wasn't enough time left.
even with Big Ben, and then we gave up a 90-yard screen pass.
And the only reason why we won that game was because of that stupid fucking,
is it a catch, isn't a catch?
Now, when he catches the ball here and he turns and starts running with the ball,
we don't know if he has possession as he possesses the ball and reaches over the fucking goal line.
Number one thing I want them to fix in football.
is that fucking rule.
I don't remember there really being a huge,
isn't a catch controversy before they fucked with that rule.
So every once in a while, you know,
you try to make the game less controversial
and you do dumb shit like that
or even the tuck rule.
I mean, that was fucking stupid.
That was a fumble.
It's the stupidest.
He tucked it in.
I don't know.
But I don't know the rulebook the way they do.
It's fucking dumb.
And all you rate of fans who are jumping up
down because a Patriots fan said that that was a fumble.
Go watch the fucking roughing the passer call that you guys got back with old Kenny Stable
and Ray Hamilton jumping in the fucking air.
That gave you a goddamn Super Bowl, okay?
So why don't you take off your fucking Rocky Horror Picture Show, scary Raider costume
and shove it up your ass?
All right?
Sorry.
Still a little upset that my team lost.
Tackin fucking Raiders fans who are about to become the most profitable fucking franchise
in the modern NFL era, the second thing.
go to Las Vegas.
They're going to do so well in Las Vegas.
This is my prediction that I'm going to say the Rams will eventually move to Reno or Laughlin,
Nevada, or some shit, right?
So, anyways, getting to the game, that was the ugliest fucking game collectively of team
defense I've ever seen in my fucking life.
I don't remember seeing a punter the whole game.
I haven't looked at the stats, you know, because my team lost.
You know, you go on fucking radio silence.
I'm not going on social media.
Because not one Eagle fan talked to any fucking shit.
And I already looked at my feed last time.
So it was like, go, fucking done, all this shit.
It's like, where was that before the game?
When your green knees were fucking shaking.
I think there was two punts, no sacks.
Other than, I guess that Brady thing, if they count that as a sack.
Okay?
if you told me before the fucking game started,
I'll just say, because I don't know what happened,
I'll say the Eagles punted once and the fucking Patriots punted once.
You just told me, all right,
you're not going to sack Nick Foles once,
and the Eagles are only going to punt once,
and you'll have one turnover.
I'd be like, oh, boy,
oh, this is going to be ugly.
We're going to get the living shit kicked out of us.
And I bet if you told the Eagle, I mean, what the fuck happened to the Eagles defense?
I thought they were going to kill us.
I was like, Jesus, this fucking team looks like those giant teams.
So they got that great front four.
They got a fucking running game.
They're going to fucking make Brady move.
And we're going to be frustrated and punting and all of that shit.
And then they're going to have the running game chewing up the fucking clock.
It was still a great game.
And I know there's a bunch of Patriots fans whining about that trick play.
Who, by the way, Chris Collinsworth just couldn't get over that play.
They kept going back to it.
This got to be the greatest.
The most iconic play.
It's a ball history.
It's like, you mean the one the Patriots just ran five minutes ago?
You see that at least five times a fucking year in the NFL regular season?
It wasn't like this unique trick play.
And if you watch college football, you see it about 40 times a year.
It's just this standard fucking play.
Now, I guess the legal formation is if there's, you need six guys on the line.
And the Eagles had five and there was one guy a cunt hair back.
So, I don't know.
If you want to say that's illegal formation, I'll tell you this, with the defense played yesterday, and if they actually called that, the Eagles would have scored on the next fucking play.
All right?
It'd be one thing if we were actually stopping them.
I would actually look at that and be like, well, wait a minute, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You know, my buddy said something funny.
He goes, you know, if the Patriots scored on that and we actually won the game, they would be calling it formation gate for the next three fucking years, which is hilarious.
We probably would have lost a draft pick because of that play.
but there's no fucking way
on any level
I would ever take that victory away from the Eagles.
They,
they won the fucking game, all right?
And this is how bad the defense was.
Even on the last play of the fucking game,
they still had to give the Eagles fan base a fucking heart attack
when they batted the ball all around.
I mean, there was like three Patriots
that had a shot at the ball
as it was like hanging in the air.
Just a really weird, weird fucking game.
But I can't say this.
I am really happy for Eagles fans and the city of Philadelphia.
And I know that I will always be sort of connected to that city as if I fucking hate them.
I don't.
I never did.
It was just I had a bad show.
I was in Philly.
And I went after this shit that you loved.
But I really, the only time I ever really hated a Philadelphia team was when the Celtics and Sixers had that
great rivalry. But other than that, you know what I mean?
We're in the AFC, you're in the NFC.
We were in the Adams Division. You were in the Patrick's division.
I actually used to like the Flyers back in the 80s because I liked fights.
And I remember rooting for them. I think they played Edmonton.
I forget who they played, but they were going to lose the game.
And out of nowhere, Ron Hextoll had an absolute shit fit.
And for whatever, I've never seen a goalie do this.
Just skated out of the crease and started fighting somebody.
Just completely spazzed out.
fucking ran out, skated out, I should say.
But after a while, I couldn't become a flyer.
I couldn't stay a Flyers fan because they reminded me of how I was living my life.
Where it's like, well, this worked fucking 30 years ago.
Let me keep trying it every year.
You know, they kept trying to beat their way to the cup because it won them a cup at 74, 75.
And then they continued to do it well into the 2000s.
So anyways, what else?
I made a couple of notes here.
I think that was it.
I think that was it.
Anyways, but this one, it doesn't hurt the way those giants once hurt.
This one is just, this one just kind of sucks.
But anyways, congratulations.
That's fucking great.
So now Philadelphia Eagles in the last 10 years,
the city of Philadelphia,
has won a World Series, and they won a Super Bowl.
So now they need the Flyers.
It's 76ers to win, which I don't know how the fuck that's going to happen.
So anyways, there you go.
There's my Super Bowl chatter.
Once again, congratulations to the Eagles fans.
And, you know, Patriots fans, here's the positive that you can take from it.
All right.
The team 100% overachieved this year.
all right not having edelman the whole year having gronk concust and brandon hooks cooks i should
say hooks brandon cooks essentially knocking himself out of the game i've never seen anybody do
something like that when he peeled back i literally yelled what the fuck is he doing i've never
seen a guy peel back with the ball and be looking the wrong way and get himself knocked out of
the game this should have been like benny hill music playing it
I think he was so surprised he was that open.
He didn't know what to do with,
it was like he had his own public park to himself.
Anyways, here's your, as Patriots fans, how you can get past this.
Just be happy.
You know, every time the Patriots win the Super Bowl,
you know, when you really think about it, you know,
have you ever gotten a ring yourself?
You don't get a ring.
All you have to do is now go out and buy a championship t-shirt
and get a subscription to Sports Illustrated.
So it's nice, you know, to avoid that expense.
Anyways, so there you go.
And now the worst feeling ever, almost as bad as your team losing the fucking Super Bowl
is that football season is officially over.
No college, no pro, no Canadian, no nothing.
Um, whatever, you got March madness coming up.
Formula one starts next month or whatever.
But, um, anyways, congratulations to Patriots on a great season.
And, uh, once again, congratulations to the, the, you're Super Bowl champion.
Philadelphia fucking Eagles, man.
Who would have ever thought?
Um, now wait a minute.
Let's go around the league.
So who's left?
We all know the Cleveland Browns.
Um, they certainly didn't take a step towards winning one this year.
But you never know.
sure they got a bunch of draft picks
let's go around the league
Patriots obviously of one Giants obviously
of one Jets won Super Bowl 3
Eagles have won
Pittsburgh is one
Ravens have won
Washington is one
Carolina Panthers
Owen 2
Tennessee
Titans
Lost to the Rams
in one of the great Super Bowls of all time
All right and they never won
as the Houston Oilers
they did win an AFL title, I believe, the first year.
Jacksonville Jaguars, never won.
So there's three teams that have never won.
And the Browns, that's four.
Bengals never won.
That's five.
Lions never won.
That's six.
Dolphins have won, Tampa Bay, is one.
Atlanta never won.
That's seven.
Oh, shit, there's still a lot of teams left.
New Orleans is one.
All right.
Moving on up.
Minnesota never won. Bears have won.
Kansas City Chiefs won. Super Bowl four. Cowboys have won. Houston Texans have never won.
That's nine. Broncos have won. Arizona Cardinals never won. That's 10.
San Diego Chages never won. Jesus Christ, this is really saying about how many
dynasties there's been in football. The Rams never won.
Fuck.
Raiders have won, 49 is of one,
Seattle of one, I probably missed a team or two there.
So 12 teams haven't won it.
20 teams have.
Well, I guess, you know something?
When the Patriots, we say the Steelers have won six,
Patriots have won five,
49 is one five, and Cowboys have won five.
That's 21 of the 52 Super Bowls right there
spread out against with just four fucking teams.
Giants got four, so that's 24.
Packers have four.
That's 28.
So that's one, like six teams have won 28 of them.
Well, I guess that kind of makes sense then.
So I guess there's really no shame at this point.
You know, having never won a fucking Super Bowl,
considering like a lot of those teams I mentioned were expansion teams like the Panthers,
Texans, and fucking Jaguas.
All right, there you go.
Another goddamn season out the window.
And I have to be honest with you, I am really fearful, you know, with Tom Brady going to be turning 41 here,
that it might be a long, long time before we ever get back to another one if we don't get back next year.
Because I'll never forget, you know, everybody talks about Dan Marino, who,
undeservingly gets all this shit for having never won a Super Bowl. I mean, the game had passed
his coach by. He never had a running game. He never had a defense. He still did what he did. Was he
supposed to tackle people too and come up with the fucking game plan? The man would literally
throw for 6,000 yards a season if the rules of past coverage were the way they are. All right?
Now, that guy went to a Super Bowl in his second year, I believe, in 1984. Not only did the
dolphins never get back during his career. They've never been back, period, since then.
So that was 34 fucking years ago.
Dan Marino was 23 years old. He's now 57.
That's how fucking nuts this is. So I'm telling you right now, when Brady and Belichick leave,
um, you know, I'm going to be 50 years old. If we go through what the dolphins go through,
I will be 84 years old still waiting for them to get back.
So I don't take any of this for granted because there's a lot of people who hate the pages.
I mean, you guys must not even be exciting anymore.
It's like, no, dude, it's fucking unbelievable.
I'm trying to enjoy every second of it because I always think, okay, this is the last time we're getting back.
Thank God we won.
This is the last time we're getting back.
Ah, fuck, we lost.
This is the last time.
Oh, we lost again.
Oh, we won.
We won again.
Now we fucking lost.
I don't know.
I don't know. It's fucking, you know, and for all you patriot haters out there, I mean, you're really, Paul Verzi said it best. He goes, it's like you're literally watching something. You're probably never going to fucking see again that level of dominance. But I do understand, you know, if you love your fucking team and all that shit. But anyways, I, we are deaf. I don't know where we are in the run. We're definitely in the final 10% of it. I don't know if that was the last of it. We shall see. We shall definitely see. But, you know, here's a thing. If they, if they never.
get back again in 34 years or they do
either way I'll be
sitting there watching
because I have nothing better to do
um
okay
what is that 20 minutes in
all right let's read a little bit of fucking
advertising shall we
shall we
all right start com enter burn
look who just came in
the one thing that can put my
smile on my face
after a Super Bowl
lost my wife and my beautiful daughter.
She insisted on coming in here.
Okay, come on it. You know what? I don't know what happened last yesterday in that Super Bowl.
I can't explain. There should have been Benny Hill music playing during that game.
Can you give us your breakdown, HoneyBunch? What happened?
Pushing the microphone away, you don't even want to talk about? You're so devastated?
That's because you're spoiled because this is...
Hi?
Hi.
Hi.
the Patriots won the Super Bowl every year of your life until this year.
That's right.
She's one years old.
They've already been there twice.
And all she knew was winning.
Sorry.
Sorry that you had to learn this ugly lesson.
Oh, my God.
If they showed Nick Foll's wife one more friggin' time, I get it.
Isn't it unbelievable?
I guess I have to say as a redhead the way blonde people get treated.
I swear to God, if she was a brunette, maybe they would have pan past her.
face to some fat eagles fan eating a cheese steak are you going to say anything you just throwing your
hands up is it weird that i have headphones on and a microphone here you can't say hi you say mama
nothing nothing she's speechless after that loss right there you go there's the mama can you say hi
can you say hi buddy you can wave hi hey hey hey who played the half
time show yesterday.
Justin Timberlake. Oh, it was Justin Timberlake. Oh, shit. I should have watched that.
I was pushing her up and down the driveway.
Having a grand old time. All right.
Hi. All right. Let's stop trying to show off here. Let me finish my podcast here.
All right. Say bye-bye.
They haven't showed a quarterback's wife that much since Kurt Warner's.
You know, although she was a brunette. So there goes that theory.
All right.
there's stupid pom-pom hat on you're in an indoor stadium all right bill don't be a bitter douche all right
i won't congratulations to nick full's wife um i was hoping that the patriots were going to kick
the shit out of the eagles just so i could have seen this sports headline you know and if if nick
foles through like three interceptions they would have said nick folded but it didn't happen um all right
formula one let's get to the questions here this week
Oh, no, I got to tell you about my show in Reno.
So I want to thank everybody that came out in Reno.
Even the douche that tried to interrupt my show and have a YouTube moment.
I fucking love that city, man.
I had such a great time.
I went up there and I worked with my buddy, Rick DeLea, who we started out together way back in Boston in 1992.
I think he maybe started like a month before.
We were trying to figure out who started before, but I always remembered seeing him.
and, you know, seeing a friend, you know, Jesus Christ, I mean, we're, we're, I've known him for 26 years.
I've actually known him longer than the age we were at when we met each other.
So it was, you know, just all the stories were coming out.
And when he brought me up, he actually made a reference to this fucking hell gig that we did.
Nick's Comedy Stop, where I started, they, I remember that was such a big deal.
to work at that comedy club.
It was just a legendary place.
It was the house that, you know, Steve Sweeney and Don Gavin and all those guys built.
And we were both, you know, no-name comics just past being open micers,
had started hosting in like, you know, outside rooms, like Dick Doherty rooms and all of that.
And Rita from Knicks called us up to do a private gig for Nick's comedy stop.
I couldn't believe it.
I was like, oh, my God.
Things are finally starting to happen.
And, you know, me and DeLea found out, you know, we were working with each other,
which should have been a red flag right there going like, they called you too.
Oh, my God.
They believe in us, right?
That should have been a fucking red flag right there because both of us should have been
opening for somebody who knew what the fuck they were doing.
But instead, we show up.
It was the fisherman's feast in the north end.
of Boston, which is the Italian section, or at least it was back in the day.
I don't know what goes on there now.
Everything, the prices, they just driven every, every, any, any sort of like culture has
been removed, which is why I like going to be, so-called B, C, and D-level cities,
because there's still that unique vibe there.
You'll go there and see stuff that you don't see in every other fucking city.
You know, the same 10 fucking corporate chains and whatever.
Everybody walking around with their Instagram look on their face, you know.
So anyways, we show up to this gig.
It's outside, literally in the fucking streets.
Did I tell this story last week?
I can't remember.
And it was like a fucking band on stage.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a boy.
And all the Italians are sitting there singing.
And you really just see the feel this great sense of family, tradition.
and culture and now you got these two pasty-faced,
you know, at least Rick was half Italian,
you know, I'm fucking German, Irish,
just standing there with my fucking fire engine red hair.
So Delia goes on,
nobody has any idea what's like,
this fucking guy's like,
now we got a little comedy.
And people like,
what the fuck is this guy talking about?
And then Delia goes on stage.
Trying to smile through probably the biggest panic of his life.
And I remember
wanting to laugh at him, but I couldn't because I knew I had to go on next. So whatever he was
feeling, I was about to feel. But at least I, and for me, it was going to be worse.
Because at least before he went on stage, he had fucking hope. Like, well, maybe this will be good.
But when I saw Rick go on stage, I had confirmation that this was not going to be good.
I just remember him just fucking interrupting this great fucking party, which is so many of the early
stand-up gigs, you know, just interrupting something that everyone was totally
enjoying and they really don't need you.
And then they don't know that you're coming up there.
And then you go up there.
And they're like, what the fuck is this?
All I remember was when I went on stage bombing and just looking up and seeing all these old
Italian ladies like hanging out the window just looking down at us like, like what the
fuck is this?
And just afterwards, I forget, we probably walked out of there.
There's no subway stop.
We walked over to our cars.
I don't even remember.
Anyway, it was great to work with him, but
I was in the middle of my set having a great time
and I do this bit where I make fun of the troops a little bit.
You know what I mean?
And it's not even, you know, it's not even fucking remotely.
It's like a fucking hilarious bit.
The first time I did it, I did it at a VFW
to make sure that, you know, the way I was doing it,
I did in front of the troops.
They were all fucking die and laughing.
I mean, those guys that lost their legs over there and shit
and they were still laughing.
And they love the fucking bit.
So I do the bit there.
You know, and I've moved on from the bit.
And at this point, I'm making fun of ISIS.
And all of a sudden, this guy walks all the way up from the back of the room.
Unfortunately, the chairs were like, where he couldn't get all the way up to the front.
He starts yelling at me, pointing at the stage going,
huh, show some fucking respect.
That's what he started seeing.
Trying to have his fucking YouTube moment.
You know what I mean?
and I was like,
show some respect for what?
He's like, the military!
He's doing one of those fucking things.
Like, yeah, I love how the military is just so fucking off limits now.
That we're supposed to,
you just have to constantly be blowing the fucking military
that you can't even make fun of somebody in the Navy
who all he does is swab the fucking decks
and is getting a standing ovation walking through the fucking airport.
I've done that fucking bit
in front of so many troops.
They've all found it funny.
This fuck go,
You know, this fat fuck.
Oh my God, I went off on that guy.
Why don't you show some fucking respect and lose some weight,
you fat,
for your fellow American for every time you get the middle seat on a flight
and your fat fucking mantis spill into the other.
I'm so fucking sick.
I'm so fucking sick of everybody being so goddamn fucking offended
at comedy shows and just making the whole moment about themselves.
you fucking mouth breathing chimp.
Jesus, fucking Christ.
If you can't fucking see through the fucking, whatever that fucking expression is,
see the forest through the fucking trees with all of this shit.
I just can't fucking help you.
And considering all the shit that I had said up until that point,
I didn't show any remote respect for anything.
Every fucking subject.
That's what kills me.
I blamed women for sexual harassment.
That's how I said.
started my fucking show.
Where was the, where the fuck was he during that one?
Fat fucking cunt.
Oh my God.
I was so fucking mad at that guy.
I hated that security escorted him out.
I appreciated that they did that thinking that I wanted to it.
I wanted to talk to that guy for the rest of the fucking show.
Walks all the fuck way up.
You know he was waiting for his Oprah round of applause.
When I told him to go fuck himself, everybody left.
I can't believe that.
you know, that's the classic thing at like a comedy show that usually ends up on the fucking internet.
You know what I mean?
That self-righteous fucking douchebag.
You know what I mean?
Where everything else that I said up to that point was so fucking ridiculous and absurd.
And then that's the one that you're going to take fucking seriously.
Like what kind of a fucking moron.
That's what I'm saying to this guy.
It's like, do you really think I'm anti-my or?
own country, you dumb fuck.
And when you guys come out to my show, when you see the bit, okay, it's so fucking pedestrian,
it's ridiculous.
I even when I did the fucking bit at the VFW, the troops came up to me and said, yeah,
we say that to each other.
But this fucking guy had to fucking, you know, take his hair out of his ponytail, tossle it
around and come, have his big fucking head rolling moment.
fucking kill yourself.
I hope you fucking have a heart attack,
you fat fucking cunt.
You know what it was?
Was if he didn't like the bit,
then heckle me.
The fact that he came up there
and he's like pointing at me,
yelling at me like he's like I'm his kid and he's my fucking dad.
Anyways.
Anyways, let me just fucking plow.
Other than that,
the gig and Reno was fucking awesome.
And I got to be telling you,
that was actually more upsetting to me
than watching my team fucking lose the Super Bowl.
All right. Anyways, let's get into the questions here for this week. Formula one.
Oh, by the way, oh, Billy's getting in, it's continuing with his getting in fucking great shape, man.
I've made the, my goal is, you know, turning 50 in June, you know, through years of doing stand-up comedy and trying to get a positive out of a negative.
Five people showed up. What do I do here? Do I give in to the fact that there's five people or do I make those five people?
people which they brought another 50.
You know what I mean?
When you're fucking, I don't know, when you're in this fucking business, the greatest thing
about this business, unless you knew somebody when you got into it, most people
get into it and they don't know anybody and they have no idea what to do.
And they're standing out in the street and broad daylight in the Italian section of Boston.
Eating your red dick.
I mean, if you don't figure out a positive mindset, you're really not going to, you're not
to fucking, you're not going to survive. So I'm turning 50, which I used to think was going to be
devastating. I'm actually really excited to try to get myself in the best shape I've been in
about 20 years. So I'm trying to get down to my, basically the weight I was at when, in the shape I
was in when I started. Now, I'm obviously going to fall short because no matter what I do,
I'm still fucking about 30 years older. But that's not what it's about.
It's about going for it and I'll still, you know.
So anyways, I have a weight that I want to get into.
My fucking shoulder, the rotator cut feels great.
And I finally have been able to get a regimen between all the information that I've gotten over the last year.
And I've put together a program that is really fucking working for me.
And I have to tell you, you know what I did the other day?
other than taking my beautiful daughter to the park on the swing,
which I think I'm going to do again today.
It's my favorite thing ever is she was on the swing.
And I was able, you know, once I got the swing going,
because I can finally lift my right arm over my head.
I've been able to take my shirt off with both.
I've had to take it out with my left hand.
I've been able to take my shirt off with both hands in like over a year and a half,
which is really fucked up my closing bit.
everybody, you know, because I really try to get sexy in the end, you know.
I was actually able to reach up and hold on to like the bar above the swing.
And I made sure I didn't put any weight on the arm.
All the weight was obviously, my feet were still on the ground.
And I just gave it a little bit of a fucking stretch.
And it was this tightness, but not pain.
Because what happens I found anybody else going through this shit is when you have an injury like that,
you get into this protective, like, the way you hold yourself.
And it's fucking crazy, man.
Like, having not put my hand above my head for over a year.
Like, I can't physically do it anymore because those tendons don't get stretched
and all this fucking shit just, I don't know, grows over it or whatever.
They just, it's weird.
It doesn't feel like pain.
It's like there's a doorstop and I just, or a governor.
I just can't go any further.
So after doing all these other exercises, I end with that.
And it feels tremendous.
It was funny.
I was doing that while watching the Super Bowl.
And one of these other Patriots fans was laughing at me.
Like, dude, you're really getting into this game.
And I was like, no, no, sorry, man.
I'm just fucking working out my shoulder.
So anyways, I hope that helps anybody out that that has that issue.
So I will actually be able to work out.
But the great thing is I've discovered bands.
It's working out with bands, you know, in a door jam and all that, which is really going to help me on the road.
And I think I'm done with the weightlifting for a long time.
That's kind of what got me into this years of weightlifting and not doing enough back exercises.
And the front part of my body was way stronger than the back.
And it pulled my shoulders forward and one of them came up.
And then I, you know, was bench pressing and just the bones, I don't know, the rotator cuff tendon just rubbed on it.
and got inflamed and then I was just fucked.
And it's really something that if I, if I, if it ever happens again, I'll be able to get
out of it in like, you know, six to eight weeks.
But I just didn't know what to do.
I thought, ah, this will work itself out.
And then they just became all fucking glued up.
So anyways, um, if you ever gone through anything, just remotely physical like that to
finally just be able to fucking take your shirt off or brush your teeth, you know what I
mean?
Or put the shaving cream on my head when I go to shave my head.
when I go to shave my head.
I always had to put it in the left hand.
You know?
I'm fucking mess.
All right, here we go.
Formula One, everybody.
Hey there, Billy, the red face cunt.
I've been a long time listener for about 10 years now.
And the podcast has always been a great break from the drudgery of everyday life,
especially back in my university days.
Okay, I'm done blowing you now.
Anyways, my grandfather, father and I are all car lovers.
That's great.
I remember following Formula One closely as a kid when Jacques Villanue and Michael Schumacher back in 1997.
I'm so pissed I missed that because everybody tells me I miss the great days of Formula One.
Listening to you get into Formula One had me thinking of getting back into it myself.
With that in mind, I decided to buy myself an early birthday president and bought tickets for the Spanish Grand Prix.
in Barcelona for this upcoming season for my old man and I. Dude, that's the shit.
I'm trying to go to two races a year, so I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do.
It's either going to be Mexico City in Brazil or if I do some tour dates over in Europe,
I'll just bookend them with the race.
We shall see. Obviously, Mexico City is deceivingly far away from L.A.
Like I always picture that it's just south of Los Angeles because, you know, you just go south and you're in fucking Tijuana.
Let me look that up.
Where the fuck is it?
Ah, you know what?
I got to hold the microphone here.
Can I do this?
Do I have this ability?
Here we go.
North America.
I see a map.
There we go.
Come on.
Come on.
Slow.
internet. All right. Clicking on it. Oh yeah. It's like south of like fucking Houston or New Mexico or
something like that, right? All right. Where do we go? There's Australia. Where the fuck am I?
All right. Zooming in. I really should have hit pause. Oh yeah. Mexico City is like south of San Antonio.
So it's like flying all the way to San Antonio. It's like basically flying all the way across and then all
the way south again for almost the same distance it's probably yeah the equivalent to flying to
like tampa or something like that but then brazil if i go to brazil i mean that's all the way
you always i used to think when new york or my buddies used to go to brazil that they were flying
due south and that due south actually would get you into like peru or the western side of
south america um i would love to go down there too um yeah maybe i'll do that and that
now that would actually be done with all the races on this side of the world.
Who knows?
That's such a cool thing that you're doing that with your dad, though.
Anyways, plowing ahead.
I know you like the Air India team.
I also like the Williams Martini team.
I just like their colors.
And I don't want to pick a perennial powerhouse like Mercedes or Ferrari.
So my question is, which team racer did you enjoy watching most?
My father and I are going to pick a team to root for during the upcoming season.
to make our father's son weekend a little more fun.
Thanks and go fuck yourself.
Who did I like?
I actually, Daniel Ricardo is probably, you know,
the closest to Lewis Hamilton.
And I would also say I really liked,
geez, I'm so new to the sport and I haven't thought of the name.
That guy, oh, I know, and his teammate there.
His teammate was a fucking maniac.
Hold on a second.
I got to make sure nobody switched out of the team.
Let's see, Red Bull Racing Team.
That kid who was like 20 years old.
Drivers.
Here we go.
Unless he switched teams.
Max for Stappen was really fun to watch.
I would say out of the young drivers,
he's probably the best.
I don't know if he's still on the team.
These guys seem to jump around like free agents.
And then it's all about getting on the Ferrari
or the Mercedes team, which two seasons in is getting a little boring.
So I would like to see somebody else win, you know.
So Max Verstappen, I guess that's what I would say that.
And that's such a great thing to do.
I'd never been to Spain.
That's amazing.
I am going to be doing a gig, I believe, to celebrate my 50th birthday.
I believe it's coming together over in Europe.
I'm going to go, I think I might be doing a gig somewhere in England.
And then I'll be with my lovely wife and beautiful daughter.
Maybe we're going to go to France again.
I'll try to polish up in some of my French.
But if there's any races over there, you know what?
You've inspired me.
I'm going to talk to the guy who books me today.
And I'll be like, we've got to figure out, you know, what Formula One race is going on over there.
Because I've got to add that 50th birthday and go to Formula One race over in Europe, man.
that would be sick.
All right.
More Formula One shit.
Formula One grid girls.
Hey, Billiam Wallace, big fan from Glasgow, Scotland.
Formula One just announced that they're getting rid of the grid girls because they feel this custom does not resonate with our brand values.
And clearly, is it odd with the modern-day societal norms?
saying things has happened with the darts and is looking likely for boxing and UFC in the future.
Are these probably ugly feminists doing nice looking girls out of a job or are they doing the right thing?
All right.
I don't know what the fuck.
I kind of know what you're trying to say.
What are your thoughts?
Cheers and go fuck yourself, you cunt.
Yeah, that's just all.
you know, lip service, no pun intended.
It's just bullshit.
You know what I mean?
And, you know, I think it's all bullshit.
Here's the deal.
To say this custom does not resonate.
It's to say it's clearly, is it odd with modern day social norms?
It isn't.
It's 100% at odds with the public horseshit political correctness,
which all political correctness really is, is being phony.
You know what I mean?
It's just denying what you're really feeling, denying what you really want to say,
denying what you're really fucking thinking.
That's why comedians seem so fucking outrageous.
They always say, oh, you're saying the things that people think, but are afraid to say.
They're not afraid to say it.
They say it in their cars.
They say it with their friends.
They say it at home.
You know, I'm not talking about being a racist,
fucking moron.
All right.
They're basically trying to say that men do not enjoy looking at beautiful women.
This is against a societal norm, that people do not gravitate towards beauty, both male
and female.
Like if you're a good looking guy, you're not going to have you pick of the litter when
it comes to women.
And vice versa.
Like if you're a beautiful woman that you're not going to have to fucking, you know what I
mean, you can look at it in like a negative way.
I always thought that because it was outside of this country, that I always thought that
they had a better way of presenting beautiful women, that it wasn't just like that Hooters
vibe that we have here.
Like to stick my dick between those knockers, you know, the ugly way that we fucking
do everything over here, you know?
I just, I think what that is, is they probably got enough crap from these women's
groups and they just don't need the headache.
So, and I also feel that a lot of, you know, when they say the, you know, you're exploiting
women and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I think there's a lot of truth in that.
I don't think it's, it's that way with this.
I think that's, you know, what are they doing?
What exactly are they doing?
Are they fucking, you know, twerking and all that shit?
It's just a beautiful woman walking around with a ring card.
That's it.
You know, getting attention in a very safe fucking way.
I mean, what is the fucking problem?
You know, and I do know that, you know, the way guys can't handle a good-looking guy
who's fucking jacked down at the end of the bar, you know, a better-looking guy
with a fucking pussy.
I'm not going to go fight him, you know.
Women do the same thing with a better-looking woman that comes walking into the bar.
They fucking hate him.
That's it.
So I think it's pretty fucking childish.
However, Formula One is on ESPN and, you know, ESPN used to be great, but now they kind of ruin everything.
So I'm going to blame them.
They obviously were too fucking stupid to keep Will Buxton, who was phenomenal at his job.
I don't know.
So, yeah, I think that's all.
The whole thing is fucking dumb.
And eventually there's going to be a backlash.
God forbid, there's a beautiful woman walking around on stage.
God for fucking bid and guys are like excited by it.
Like, you know, and fucking whistling a little bit.
Who gives a fucking, who cares?
You know what I mean?
This is my problem with feminism is that all the corrections are made for them,
which is really kind of putting it out there as if that women don't need to adjust their fucking behavior in any ways when it comes to men.
You know?
And feminists get to speak in these unbelievable, like broad, no pun intended, blanket fucking statements.
But guys cannot.
You know what I mean?
I'll speak in some blanket fucking terms for men.
Hey, how about you earn your own fucking money?
How about you buy around every once in a while?
How about when you go through a fucking divorce, you try to do something fair and instead of trying to take every fucking last dime you possibly can, you're greedy cunts.
All right. We're moving on to the next one.
No, they don't need to adjust that at all.
They don't need to adjust any of their fucking behavior whatsoever.
They don't do anything wrong whatsoever.
I tell you right now, if women died that much sooner than men,
you don't think that there would be a study.
You don't think that there would be a fucking ribbon.
You don't think some way that they would blame men on some level that women die that much earlier than men if it was that fucking way.
I don't know.
I think that that's why guys are so funny is because nobody gives a shit about us.
They really don't.
You know what I mean?
They just don't.
Anything that happens to a guy is, ah, dude, yeah, about so-and-so, I hate to be him.
Sucks to be him, right?
That's it.
That's the level of support we have for one another.
All right, deported father.
Dear Billy Justice, two and a half years ago, my father was deported to Mexico.
He had been in the U.S. since 1978 since he was 13.
My family struggled without him financially and emotionally it's been very rough.
It must have been brutal.
He's healthy and not dead, but he can't be with us.
Yeah, that's got to go.
Oh, man, that's fucking brutal.
It's been very frustrating and words can't describe it.
I'm getting married in a few weeks and he wasn't able to be at the wedding.
Every day I see people criticize Trump and can agree with their reasons for doing so.
But my father was deported under Obama.
my family knows three other people who were also deported under Obama.
My white friends think they're good people because they liked Obama but never looked to see what was happening.
They didn't care then, but they care now.
It makes me feel very mad because it feels insincere and lazy.
As a white man who seems fairly progressive, can you tell me why this is?
What would you suggest I say to them?
it's an emotional thing for me, so it's hard to choose the right words.
Congrats on your child.
I have two nieces, and it's really the greatest thing to watch them grow.
Thank you.
What can you say to them?
It depends on how open-minded they are.
People who are really into politics, which means they 100% watch CNN or Fox News all fucking day as if they're getting some sort of fair and unbiased news feed.
You really can't say anything to either one of them.
I mean, they're a lot like sports fans where I try to see, you know, I try to the best I can to see bowls.
Like I can legitimately be happy for Eagles fans.
You know what I mean?
I can legitimately look at fucking Derek Jeter and say that guy's fucking great.
And I can set aside my hatred of the Yankees or my wanting for my team to beat the Eagles yesterday.
But, you know, it took me a long time to get there.
So, I don't know.
I mean, knowing the way I was wired, I would just walk right up to him.
You know, just so you know, your fucking angel there, Obama,
you know, who for some reason gets no shit whatsoever.
I mean, it probably doesn't hurt that he went,
that his presidency was between two of the fucking,
two of the biggest fucking dipshits I've ever seen is fucking,
did I say dipshit?
I haven't said that because I'm trying to think,
well, with a fucking word I could say,
and not be too
offensive and think that I'm a fucking lefty here 100%,
which most of the times I am.
But I mean,
you can fool me such a fucking,
you're not going to fool me again.
Went after that,
and then this guy who fucking tweets all the time.
And then before that,
you had a guy shoving cigars
and fucking people's twats.
I mean,
it's been really rough
since the first George Bush,
who actually had
the,
you know, when we pushed Saddam out of Kuwait, didn't go into fucking Iraq and was strong enough to push back against the fucking corporation and say, hey, look, this is not what we were doing over here.
We accomplished our mission and we're going home.
That's it.
You know, so it's been a long fucking time.
So I think that there's a thing with Obama, at least he wasn't Bush or Trump kind of thing.
So people have a hard time seeing him.
And I think he gets handled with kids gloves in the media.
You know what I mean?
They, you know, every image of him, he's like kayaking or fucking playing highlight and all of this shit.
Like the joke I was doing in my act, it looks like an erectile dysfunction ad.
And they're really kind of ignoring that that guy for all the hope that he said and everything.
And I know that that job is, you know, I don't know, like literally know.
but I understand that it's an incredibly difficult job.
And they always say if you can get one thing done, which he did.
He did get Obamacare through.
So I guess it was an achievement.
But I have to tell you, as someone who does lean left,
to watch him go on tour now with $70 million of tour dates,
to go talk to a bunch of fucking bankers and corporations,
you know, and all of that.
And just, I don't know, it just,
as far as the way I read that, that's just those corporations washing their bribe money.
Like, we got you in office, you did what we wanted you to do.
Now come talk to us for an hour and we'll give you a nice six-figure paycheck.
And we'll all do it.
And then you can be worth over $100 million like the Clintons, like the Bushes and all.
Like it's so fucked up that none of them get called out on that.
It's like the Bushes, the Clintons, the Obamas.
It's like you guys dedicated your life to public service.
and the presidency is the highest paying job,
which now is like a half a million dollars a year.
If you do two terms,
you're going to gross tops.
What is that?
500 times fucking eight.
What is that?
That's four million bucks.
And somehow they're buying giant houses and they all end up being worth nine figures.
And everybody just looks the other fucking way.
I don't know.
So maybe there's someone within your group that is understanding enough and can see both sides of that.
You know, like if I said what I just said about Obama to a Trump person, they would be like,
yeah, they would be going fucking bananas.
But then if I even remotely suggested that Trump seemed a little emotionally unstable and that he's really doing the country a disservice to be tweeting
in arguing with people on social media like a seventh grade girl.
I don't even fucking respond to people on Twitter when it comes.
Occasionally I do.
But this is supposed to be the leader of the free world.
Trying to get a Trump supporter to admit to how pathetic and embarrassing that is.
I mean, that's just kind of the world that we're in right now.
But maybe one of those Obama supporters, maybe you could, you know, I don't know.
But then also we live in such a fucked up.
world. I'm going to believe that you're actually Mexican and you wrote this and that you're
not some white person that wrote this shit because they hate Obama. I have no fucking idea.
You never know. There's no way for me to vet. So if what you just said was true, that is horrific.
And I understand what you're saying about Obama because, you know, I think the best thing he had was
he could deliver his speech better than Bush or Trump. But at the end of the day, even though the, you know,
needle kind of leaned more left when he was in office, the ship stayed on course, if you know what I'm
saying.
Now, right now I want that guy from Reno to come walking into my fucking room here.
Hey, show a little respect.
All right.
Boyfriend's best friend.
Dear Billy Boy, lady here.
Uh-oh.
Here comes some red shoe diary shit.
I have been seeing slash dating my best friend for almost a year now.
and we love listening to your podcast together.
It's almost, it's absolutely, it's going absolutely fucking wonderful except for one thing.
Oh, this went in a completely different direction.
I thought you would say you wanted to bang your fucking boyfriend's best friend.
All right.
Okay.
It's going absolutely fucking wonderful except for one thing.
His best friend sends him pictures of naked slash half naked girls from Instagram to him.
We recently became long distance.
So I'm not sure of the frequency still, but before I moved away, he did it almost daily.
My issue is one, his best friend, girlfriends complain to me about it instead of taking it up with him.
And I tell her to just talk to him.
Wait, wait, wait.
There's too many fucking pronouns in here.
I don't know who the fuck you're talking about.
Oh, his best friend's girlfriend.
So the girlfriend of the guy sending the pictures complains to me about it instead of
taking it up with him. And I tell her to just talk to him. And number two, it's actually hard
to take that advice because I don't want him to think I'm trying to control his life. Some of these
pictures are actually girls that they know and not just pictures from the chive or the coat of
man. I don't even know what that is. My question is, do I have the right to be heard about
about this? Well, are you heard about this?
Yes. I'm going to say yes. Are you a free person? Yes, as much as they'll let you be. So I would say, yes, you do. If so, how do I bring this up to him? I've lost over 30 pounds over the course of us seeing one another and frankly thought it would stop, but it hasn't. That's not why I lost the weight, by the way. Did it for myself. Okay, well, that was weird. I thought all of a sudden you were stressing out. Thanks for the advice and kindly go fuck yourself. Well, that's great. First of all, you got yourself in great.
shape. You know, who's giving you a standing ovation right now. You're, you fucking vitals.
All your major organs are loving you as we live in a world now where everybody's a hero,
including overweight people. You know what I mean? I'm telling you right now,
if your vitals were standing in an airport and you got off a plane, they would not be giving
you a fucking round of applause. Staying in shape is the greatest fucking thing you could ever do
for yourself and you fucking deserve it. All right? And fucking stop playing the victim
and do something about it
and admit to the fact that you're the one with the hand
shoving that fucking cupcake down your fucking throat.
Sorry, I'm getting off track here.
I would absolutely bring it up to him.
That's completely fucked up.
If that bothers you, you should say something.
And the guy sending the photos
is being completely disrespectful to you
and your boyfriend.
You know, he's happy in a relationship.
Why the fuck is he doing this shit?
Maybe he's jealous.
maybe he's a moron. I have no idea. I would absolutely bring it up to him. And just say it the way
you said it. Like, you know, this is something that bothered me for a long time. Um, you know,
this is so weird. I actually think if you don't get emotional, if you don't like cry and do the
woman thing, which literally freaks most guys out, or maybe I'm superimposing most guys with the way
I feel. Like when a woman starts crying, I just start thinking like, oh, Jesus Christ, here we go.
Now, how do I argue my side now when you as an adult are actually crying about this right now?
Then I'm a push over.
Okay, because anytime my daughter cries, that's it.
I'm done.
And my wife just rolls her eyes at me.
Just like, she's not even crying.
She's whining, Bill.
I'm like, what fuck am I supposed to do?
I just, matter of fact, just say, I want to know, that really hurts me.
And, but I didn't want to bring it up to you because I,
I didn't want to seem like a nag, but I'm just letting you know that that really bothers me,
and I don't think it's right.
And just imagine if we turn the tables in one of my girlfriends was sending me pictures
of guys with their dicks out every day.
Like, how would that make you feel?
Okay?
I'm not saying you have to stop doing it.
I'm just telling you that it bothers me.
Just put it on that and let him make the fucking decision.
Rather than come, because I can tell you as a,
a typical fucking guy.
If you come out,
I'm,
what do you need to talk to?
Yeah.
I mean,
he's starting to make it
it feel that way.
All the guys thinking is like,
oh my God.
Oh my God.
How to fuck?
I mean,
I understand that women are more emotional.
But when you fucking do that,
in a lot of ways,
it's not fair to the guy
because there's no way
you can argue
with another adult
that is literally
breaking down crying.
Okay?
I've been in relationships and I've seen women crying, you know, talking to me about something to this level, crying.
And I'm thinking in my head like, I haven't seen people crying like this at a funeral.
So it really takes away your ability to argue your side if you have a side.
And that causes resentment.
You know, not to mention the fact that women can cry on cue, I swear to God, I feel like some of the time it's a manipulation.
tactics, but if you were able to just say it and just say, I don't want to be a nag and I'm not saying that he has to stop doing it.
I'm just letting you know that it really bothers me. And then if it was going the other way and I was getting dick picks sent to me every day, I don't think that you'd be too thrilled.
And then just let him deal with that. And then be like, I'm not going to say anything else about it. I'm just letting you know.
All right? And then let him fucking deal with it and see what he does. That would be my advice. All right, girlfriend has higher sex drive than me.
All right, dear Billy fucknuts.
That reminds me of that classic Louis CK joke.
Do you remember that time when he was dating the nymphomaniac?
And she kept going, let's do it again.
Let's do it again.
And it goes.
And she was really just backing into me.
And it really fucking hurt.
And I wanted to say, hey, can you stop banging back into me before you rip my dick off, you fucking psycho?
But instead, I said,
Hey, take it easy.
All right, girlfriend has higher sex drive than me.
All right, dear Billy fucknuts.
I started dating an old girlfriend from high school after 10 years of being apart.
Oh, like when Harry met Sally, right?
I'm now 26 and she's 27.
We've been going steady for about seven months.
I love you said we're going steady.
This guy's like an old soul.
And everything has been great up until around Christmas where the problem.
began. To give you some background, I work from seven in the morning. She doesn't go to work until
five in the afternoon and gets out at one. Oh, you go to work at seven in the morning. You didn't tell me when you
stopped them. She doesn't drive, so I have to pick her up every night. The only day we have off
together is every other Saturday. By the time we get back to my place, I'm completely exhausted and
pretty much falling asleep while she's wide awake and usually wants to have sex. Recently, my sex
drive has plummeted. Yeah, if you're not getting any sleep, it's going to. And I can tell you that
having a kid now. That's totally true. The sex in your relationship, it just takes such a back
seat. Your kid goes to sleep and it's like, hey, we could hook up or we could get like 50 minutes
of sleep. And sleep at that point, it's like gold. Um, anyways, um, recently my sex drive is
plummeted, not because I don't find her attractive or because I don't care about her, but I'm
just drained of energy after working 50 hours a week with maybe four hours of sleep every night.
And after about five months of sex every other night, it starts to feel like a chore.
Sometimes I've been turning her down lately.
This has caused a lot of arguments and fights in the past two months.
That's probably because she doesn't know why.
You know, guys, you know, generally speaking, are horn dogs.
And any, you know, you could be in the middle of fucking having chemo.
and your girl be, hey, you want you,
I was fucking do it, you know,
banging her while you stand up with that fucking drip in your arm.
I feel like she doesn't respect my desire to get some rest,
and I've suggested sex in the morning,
but at that point she's already pissed at me.
All right, well, if you communicated it
and she's still not willing to work with you,
then she's kind of being immature here.
She seems to think I don't care about her,
and that when I try to suggest maybe sex,
a certain amount a week like three or four, she gets mad at me and that she always
wants, has to initiate it.
I've been trying to be more consistent with being sexually available and more affectionate
lately, like visiting her on lunch break and getting her small glyphs like flowers to
show that I care, but the problem is still here.
Yeah, because this is all, you're not communicating.
When we do actually have sex sometimes, it's just boring for me because I'm not in the
mood or I really don't have the energy to do anything but lay there.
I really love this girl and don't want to lose her due to something like this.
Do you have any advice for my problem?
And when we come back, you bald ginger ball bag.
I would say this.
You guys need to sit down and have a talk.
And just say everything you just said to me.
This is the problem with most relationships.
It's people in it say the things that they should be saying to each other to other people.
And then they expect the other person to be a mind reader.
She has no idea that, you know, how tired you are.
Just tell her and just tell her that you love her and that you're afraid that you're going to lose her and all of that type of stuff.
And just say the reason why I'm doing it, not been in the mood, is not because of you.
It's because I'm fucking exhausted.
I'm like a zombie.
I'm getting four hours of sleep.
And just tell her that it hurts you that you're hurting her.
So I really needed to clear the air and just sit down and clear the fucking air.
all right that's what the fuck i would do okay that's the podcast once again congratulations to your
super bowl champion philadelphia eagles um like i said you know i hope you guys know all these
you know i had one bad fucking show in philly and everybody thinks i hate the fucking city i
actually love the city other than the fact you have 58 one ways going to the left before
there's one going to the right and then another 58 going left and then 60 going right after that.
It makes no fucking sense.
Other than that, yeah, I really don't have a beef with you.
And a lot of times, you know, I wish that show happened in North Carolina because I would have just stood on stage,
making fun of them for losing the Civil War and the fucking Charlotte Bobcats and Hornets and all.
I just make fun of all that, losing their fucking team and all of that.
That's what I would have done.
I just happened to be.
I was actually in New Jersey.
That's the funny thing about all of it.
All right.
That's the podcast.
Go fuck yourselves.
I will check in on you on Thursday.
All right.
See you.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome back to the Anything Better podcast show for the Super Bowl, everybody.
That's right.
This is the last one of the year.
It went by so fast.
Bill absolutely crushed it.
And I believe you're 10 and 1 in the playoffs.
10 and 2 in the playoffs.
I think I have four or six losses,
something like that in the playoffs.
I'm above in the playoffs,
but I had a rough year.
Jake and Andrew did great,
but today we are here to talk about the big one.
Is there like a nickname for the Super Bowl?
Like I know that like the one bowl is the granddaddy of them all.
Do they have anything for the Super Bowl?
Rose Bowl is the granddaddy of them all.
The Super Bowl, I don't know, the shit show,
the advertising shit show.
The money grab.
The fuck.
No, we were said the last two football games of the year, the AFC and the NFC championship game, if you're a football, if you're a football fan, those are the games you want to go to.
Yeah.
This fucking, this thing, I don't know, this is like, if Martha Stewart is selling pots and pans at one point during the game, I wouldn't be surprised.
It is just the biggest expression of capitalism in a bad way.
Not saying capitalism is 100% bad for all you fucking cunts out there.
I'm just saying that it's like this is supposed to be,
it's out of all the four sports, you know what I mean?
Like they would never do this in a Stanley,
any of the Stanley Cup games, any of the World Series games,
and the NBA championship games.
But this thing here, Paul, like they haven't made enough money
at the casinos at this point.
Well, it's not even, yeah, what I don't like about it is like the TV timeouts,
even the game TV timeouts, like when there's a flow of the game,
you're just waiting there forever and you're like dude get back to the game man no it's just it's
everything everything is for sale yeah everything is for sale on this one so like i said i'm doing
what i always do i'm watching it with my buddies we're shutting our phones off we're letting the
game get about 90 minutes ahead hour and 45 then you turn the game on you just fast forward to
all of the bullshit so it's paced like the nfc or a fc championship game where it's just like i can
stay excited.
Yep.
I don't have to sit through the little river band fucking singing a song or whatever
they're going to be doing, Paul.
Yep.
All right, so here's what we're going to do.
We'll bring in Jake after, first we got a shout out our sponsor.
It is BetMGM, guys.
We've been with them all year, another year in the books.
Sad how fast it goes by.
But we always have a great time with them, the best lines in the game.
But you guys, it's not too late because if you guys want to get in on the Super Bowl with us,
all you got to do is take your device and you download the Bet,
GM app. You put a minimum of, you put a minimum of $10 in the account and you will get $1,500 back in
bonus bets. So bet responsibly have fun with that. And we have the first touched. Oh, our code,
Burr, B-U-R, very simple. And then we have the first touchdown promo, which we've had all year,
where you pick any NFL player in the game to get the first touchdown. And if they do, you win.
If they don't, but they get the second, you get your cash back. It's that easy. For the last time,
Bill. This is sad. For the last time, we're going to bring in Jake the Snake for the injury report of the year.
Jake, it's sad to sing about the end of football season. But he's smiling, but he's smiling,
because he's a professional. I'll tell you who else is smiling, the ladies, knowing that his schedule
is going to be opening up with all that free time.
It's going to be the lucky lady to get knocked up by Jake the Snake.
So, Jake, I take it that there's pretty much not too many injuries since we got a little break here.
Yeah, exactly.
Not too many.
Pretty much no injuries.
People worry that Drake may had a shoulder issue, but it seems like he's worked through it as better.
Riz is going to be good to go.
So everybody's going to be out.
Any thing like that?
No, thankfully no off the field incidents.
I want not.
I remember Stefan Diggs had an incident a few weeks back, but they pushed it back past Super Bowl.
The man is passionate about his food.
Or maybe the check.
I don't know what it was about.
And nothing with Seattle.
Nothing with Seattle, no.
They thought one of their safeties was hurt
and then there was a mild ankle sprain.
So, yeah, there's nothing to talk about there, thankfully.
All right.
So before we obviously do our picks,
this is obviously not going to, this is a shorter show
because we have one game to talk about,
but we do want to bring in some price.
Five eight.
Okay, after this back surgery, I'm going to be less than that.
Andrew, you want to come with some props?
He suggests, my doctor just looked at the MRI and he goes, dude, he goes, I got a guy that like, you have a textbook injury on that disc, and I got a guy that can fix it and make you better for years.
He goes, why don't you just do it?
I've been just holding it off for so many years, but I'm still holding it off.
I'm continuing to lose weight and stretch, and I don't want to do back surgery until it's absolutely necessary.
but hey I'll tell you getting out of the car today
if you would have someone got out of the car today
you would have been like it's necessary dude
I'm walking like it's bad dude
it sucks but Andrew what do we got for props
hey dude you too hey
I mean
this show we always
when you could come to anything better
10 years from now it's gonna look like this
what are we doing you got that Mediterranean
I think you will I'm starting to look like a fucking lobster
fisherman dude I saw a guy I went to
Dude, I saw a guy I went to high school with, and I'm not joking around, dude.
The guy looked like, some of these guys look like 60, 65 years old, dude.
But what's going like?
Yeah, some kids, like, they age the way people used to age.
Like, that guy's definitely not on social media or he just doesn't give a fuck.
It's really like, I think especially just in our business because, you know, you get
trashed all the time.
You try to stay in shape because the second you get a little bloated, everybody's all over you.
Which is great.
Which is great.
There's an upside to the amount that you get trashed in this business.
But like when you meet somebody your age and they look your age, you just like, God damn, dude, you didn't have to remind.
It's just a reminder.
It's how old we are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The first time that started happening to me was like I was in like my early 30s.
And I remember, you know, on the road, I just met somebody.
I was thinking like, you know, you just think like this guy's probably a couple, two, three years older than me.
And I was in my early 30s and the guy was like 26, you know, but he was like.
Like, you know, he was middle of nowhere, 26, you know, had like fucking, like, seven kids already.
Big fucking belly.
Yeah.
It looked like he'd been driving a truck for like 50 years and somehow he was still in his 20s.
Well, the dudes that are like pushing 50 and were always overweight, you could see.
Like the guys that just never, that were always overweight.
But, Andrew, what do we have for, what do we have for some cool prop bets here?
Yeah, Jake put together a few, so I'll just go down the line.
You guys can react to them.
Here's the first one.
Hold on, that's funny what Bill said.
It's funny what Bill said because they look at you online
and they let you know as a performer.
They'll be like, yeah, funny clip, but I see he's eating good lately.
They're like, what the fuck?
They don't even say funny clip.
It happens with the athletes, too.
Hey, Bill, lay off the bread, you fat.
Bill must be boozing again.
Hey, Billy's fat.
It's just fucking, it's Billy Mantitz, it's just fucking, it just goes and goes.
They were doing it on an anniversary.
And your wife's like, where you got to go to the gym?
Getting on the ellipticals.
What did you say?
It's more negative than usual.
Yeah.
I was saying they were doing an anniversary for like that Miami Heat team that won 20 years ago.
And like all the others were coming out.
And they had all the comments, Antoine Walker came out.
and he kind of gained some weight and all the comments are like that dude kind of gained some weight i
couldn't believe it was the same i couldn't believe it was the same person though dude that was
really and then this dude the funniest thing eric snow the old eric snow of the early cabs with
lebron when lebron was a kid his teammate was eric snow dude the comments the comments that the
puns they used with snow dude i'm not going to lie it was melting
avalanche dude
nobody
nobody gets it
like performers
because there's nothing attached to us
so it's just open season
so the coin toss
so the
no Andrew what do we have for props buddy
uh
why this is the one that I just thrown up there
hot star Drake made a complete
his first five passes plus 310
dude
completing your first five in the Super Bowl.
That seems a little rough, dude.
Don't like it.
No, I don't like it either.
Yeah, because what if he takes a deep shot early?
You know, I don't like that one.
What else do we got?
You should have said, what if Paul Verzi's the offensive coordinator?
That's a...
Paul loves Paul.
He's going to die on that hill.
I told you...
First way from scrimmage, we go deep.
We've got to stretch out the fucking defense.
I got to tell you, though, one of the greatest things I saw,
One of the greatest things I saw as a kid watching football,
and I'm thinking if he was the head coach at the time,
I'm probably, it was Joe Gibbs' second time.
I think it was Joe Gibbs second time around.
They were the Redskins at the time.
And first play from scrimmage, first game opening night,
and he decided, you know what,
I'm going to make the D-back shit their pants,
and he had his dude drop back and threw like a 70-yard bomb for a touchdown.
and they were like, and I was just like, yes, you know.
So I think that's where it got planted.
Bill, how many times do I text you?
Why don't they take a shot?
Paulie, take a shot.
Paul, you're like one and done.
You see something and then you're like, this is what they should do.
They should do this every time.
Well, eventually you would have tendencies, so they would be expecting it.
Paul, maybe we should go underneath.
They're giving us a 20-yard cushion.
He's got world-class speed.
Just do a double move and just run a post.
He's going to lay it out there.
Defensive coordinators, defensive coordinators would have meetings about me.
All right, listen, Verzi is the offensive coordinator.
D-backs, play back on first down.
I just love the idea of Paul getting in the huddle, like literally talking, like, the first play,
like, it's the end of the game, like, all right, guys, let's put this thing away.
Like, we're going deep.
click.
There was a prop built for Paul in there.
There was,
it was like either team to score a touchdown on the first play of the game.
I was like,
first play of the Super Bowl will be insane.
So that was just funny.
Actually,
as that happened?
I think that happened in like one or two Super Bowls ever.
I think that that's happened.
This is Super Bowl.
Fulton Walker was the first guy to take a kickoff back for a touchdown.
I don't think he did it on the opening play, though.
Devin Hester did it.
I was going to say Devin Hester,
Devin Hester of the Bears.
This is Super Bowl 60.
Oh, Devin Hester did the first play of the game?
I don't know if it was the first play, but it might have been.
I think it was because my dad put it on the other room,
and I was like, I'll be there in a second.
And I was like, he already scored.
That's when they played the Colts?
Yeah.
Steelers.
No, that's when they played the Colts,
and the quarterback was Rex Grossman.
No, that's right.
That's when the Colts made the way we covered their receivers illegal,
and they stole our offense and they won a fucking Super Bowl.
And then they turned around and called us.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, that's Super Bowl, Paul.
Then fully didn't vote for your boy, or for Belichick, for everybody's guy.
That was crazy.
I don't give a fuck.
You know who finally got in?
Who should have been in?
Roger Craig, I was thinking of you.
Roger Craig, Jesus Christ.
Thank God.
Dude, I was on radio this morning in Connecticut, and I just said, what a job.
They had an NFL agent on.
He's got three players in the league.
I mean, he's got three players in the Super Bowl.
He's got two on the Patriots and one on Seattle, and he was on the radio talking.
and they brought the Belichick thing up
and I just said the fact that
Bill Belichick, this is how much of a joke
the Hall of Fame is, the fact that
they were like, well, you know... The Hall of Fame's
not a joke, it's the people who vote for it.
Well, that's what I mean, though. That's what I mean.
They should be fucking kidnapped
and put in a fucking room if he's
not in the first fucking bad. It's sickening.
I got sick.
You don't need, Paul, Paul.
Paul, it's a part of being
successful.
It's just, Paul,
you have to, you have
to understand. It's what's wrong with the world. Not everybody's going to be happy for you.
Do you remember? People who are confident, people who are positive, they'll see you achieve something,
Paul. They'll be happy for you and they will be inspired. Yeah. Man titted people that can't lay off an
appetizer and eating bread past 8 o'clock at night. They're not going to be happy for you, Paul.
Because he upset a couple of nerds because he was short in press conferences. Do you remember when
Chevy Chase? He made it work, Paul. You know who did a first?
First Ballad, fucking Hall of Fame from all of those fucking press cunts.
Rex Ryan.
Rex Ryan would write the article for him.
They love that guy.
I'm not going up there.
Kids was rig.
Yeah, well, Bill Parcells.
He's out there playing with his wife's feet.
Yeah.
He's as fat as they are.
They fucking love them.
Yeah.
The guy's out there giving him fucking one word answers, banging a 26-year-old.
I mean, and he's got eight rings.
It's...
He was reminding them on all levels that they lost.
Do you remember, you remember, you remember Chevy Chase in Christmas vacation when he kidnapped Randy Quaid?
When he goes, I want him right here, here with his, you know, taken from his place and so-and-so in a big bow.
And I want to tell him what a, I just picture, like, I just want the Hall of Fame decision-maker to just be fucking in that situation.
It's writers, right? It's just like baseball.
Yeah, it's a bunch of riders.
Whoever the fuck it is.
The Hall of Fame should have been like, guys, what are we doing?
There's got to be an override of that.
Yeah, it's just being automatic.
If you break several records, like, we have to, you know, then consider.
Well, can we get to Roger Craig?
Roger Craig was doing in the 80s.
Like, he was like so ahead of his time.
That guy, like, dude, back in the day, I don't know if you guys remember this,
you threw a fucking more than a two-yard pass to a running back.
You had a 50-50 chance he was going to drop it.
Like, all they did was because the running game was such a big thing,
you never threw it.
There was like Walter Payton.
Yeah, that's why they gave it to the fullback.
Yeah, they did all of that shit.
And this guy came in, and he was like an absolutely ferocious runner,
not afraid of contact, knees high.
And he could have gone in just as a running back,
but he had wide receiver skills.
And with that West Coast offense with Joe Montana and Bill Walsh,
the guy was just, he was, dude, it's the Marlon Briscoe thing,
where Marlon Briscoe was playing quarterback in the 60s.
Like, you were seeing the modern day NFL.
I just don't understand why.
I mean, there's always going to be people that are overlooked,
but Roger Craig should have been in.
I'm going to remember a chick from the Yankees.
Roger Clemens, I'm going to do it.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Of all the things I've ever seen.
Yeah.
That's one of my favorite calls.
But he should have got in in the 90s, too.
He should have been in almost 30 years ago.
So Roger Craig was, I didn't notice.
He was the first guy to record a thousand yard rushing and receiving.
And receiving in the same season.
And he did it in the 80s.
Yeah.
He was my first memory of watching football ever.
My older brother told me about the 49ers and Joe Montana, and it was the 80s.
And I wasn't able to.
I'm probably what, like nine years old, eight years old.
And I remember Roger Craig, his socks were coming down.
And they go, he ran out of it.
You know, the guy that runs out of his socks, his socks would always, they said, yeah, they said like by the end of the game,
his socks which were up normally to his knees were down by his ankles and he goes this guy runs out of his socks
and they had number 44 who i believe was tom rapman he ran his knees went up to like his shoulders like
you took a beating tackling that guy yeah who was who was the fullback uh tom raffman 44 that's the second
half of the 80s i think that that's that's yeah that's yeah um all right andrew what was the other prop
you just put up uh yeah it's not a bunch they're more so long shots i mean that's like kind of the fun
Yeah, these are just ridiculous.
Will the game go to overtime plus $750?
You know what, though, $10 on that, you get a couple hundred bucks, never hurt.
Go ahead.
What else?
That's a fun one.
$5.5.
But yeah.
I like that one.
See, I like that one too.
Yeah.
Down punt inside the five-yard line.
Yeah, that's definitely doable.
Well, you got to put $200 or what?
Make 100?
No, 100 to make $200.
$200 to make $200.
I never understand.
What is so?
Plus 200?
So you double your odds.
Or you double your money.
You double your bet.
Oh, okay.
So it's like a percentage thing.
I only do this every fucking week.
Thankfully,
calculates it for you because I couldn't do it.
What else,
Andrew?
Longest field goal made over under.
Oh, dude.
That's a,
that's why it's under though.
That's why it's like,
it's almost like favorite to have.
But that's a definite pair to include that one
because I know that we talked about the juice about the balls
a lot of time and how far these guys kicks.
I was like,
oh, we got to think about the over here.
I feel like they backed off the juiced up balls, though.
Everybody started saying like, dude, what the fuck?
And then all of a sudden it sort of backed off.
But there was like a moment in the season where people were like fucking kicking 60 yards like it was nothing.
And I think too many people talked about it.
It's like Kansas City last year.
Too many people being like the refs are helping them out.
And I feel like they called the dogs off in the Super Bowl.
A two-point conversion is attempted.
That's a definite.
I like that.
I'm surprised two-point conversion in the first quarter.
I would have that those were the other.
No, dude, that's a definite.
I like these.
These are all available, right?
On bad MGM?
Yeah, these are all about MGM.
So these are kind of the best ones.
Drake May,
Drake May and Sam Donald to each have 15 plus
passing.
What?
Okay, okay.
That's weird.
Yes.
That's weird.
That's weird.
Paul, I'm telling you right now,
bury the Patriots at four and a half.
The fact that that fucking line is there,
that seems like a joke.
That's like two passes they could do that.
Yeah, like 15.
I'm telling you, Paul.
I'm telling you.
And you've been right all year.
Bill, you've been right all year.
This is your year.
Take the fucking Pats getting four and a half.
If that's what fucking Vegas is looking at,
because that's a sucker bet right there.
That's the fucking bet that everybody jumps on that hook.
Are you fucking kidding me?
This is going to know, this is going to be a joke.
Yeah, there's plenty of quarters where quarterbacks don't throw, you know.
Oh, my God.
Dude, that's a weird.
That low, Paul, with the defense, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, Paul.
I'm telling you.
Listen, Bill.
This is going to be one of those.
It's going to, all right, I'm going to shut up.
No, no, no, no.
You shouldn't, you shouldn't because here's why.
Bill, you have been, if Bill Burr has not made you money this year, you're not paying attention.
True.
Well, in the playoffs, I crushed it.
I was 50-50.
Dude, you had a year.
Go ahead, Andrew.
What else are you?
Billy Ross.
So we don't count the playoffs.
so Bet MGM can save face.
That's what we do in this podcast.
You shattered every non-quarterback to win Super Bowl MVP.
I mean, Sequin Barclay did it last year, right?
But who thinks Sam Donald's going to win the MVP?
I just drinks it.
But I don't know.
That's, this kind of feels like,
I just, this just feels like one of those quarterback games where like,
yeah, you're going to give it to one of the two.
They always give it to the quarterback.
So somebody would have.
to have like one wide receiver would have to have like 200 yards or one running back.
Yeah, because you're not going to give it to a, last time they gave it to a defensive player,
who was that?
Was it like Randy White and Harvey Martin in the late 70s or something?
Yeah.
We were talking about that today.
You would need like two interceptions and one for like a pick six to like win it to get that.
Yeah, I feel like now you'd have to do like some Dion Sanders.
It's going to be Sam Donald or Drakeman.
get yeah does Kenneth Walker get like 350 yards and you know three touchdowns like
no and you're not gonna he no nobody's gonna run like that on the defensive line of the Patriots
it's gonna be Sam Donald or Drake May for MVP what else I am I didn't send you guys this one
but there was one the method by the way this is real quick just in it's just to connect to that
this is these are the odds for Super Bowl MVP Sam Donald plus 115 Drake May plus 230
yeah that kind of makes sense but they basically think it's gonna be a quarterback and then
So break me if I bet a hundred bucks, I make $2.30.
That's what you're saying?
Yes.
Here's another one I thought you guys would be interested in because it'd be kind of fun.
I don't fucking like this.
Now why is he plus $2.30?
It seems like this is what I feel like the bookies are saying.
They're saying the paths are going to cover, but Seattle's going to win with that.
Yeah.
I think the number probably.
You have to, Paul, you got to look at these not as like what you think's going to happen.
you got to like look at this shit
anything makes you fucking like
you know your blood rush a little bit
you know that they're trying to get you
to go that way why are they doing
I'll Paul I'm in full paranoid
full paranoid mode
dude you know what that's the thing about having your team in it
I kind of like don't envy you guys right now
because if the Giants weren't it I'd be a wreck
a wreck you're right
well it'd be much better to not have you
no no no listen
that's one way to look at it now
I just mean nerve wise like my
I know. Dude, my son, I'll be honest with you.
My son, Lucas, dude, my wife and I, like, have to, like, move things in the house when the Knicks are in the playoffs.
Like, I don't know what he would do with the Giants, a one and done, dude.
Dude, I won't watch big games that have my team in it with my kids there.
Like, I just don't, I don't want them to see me like that.
Dude, what is this fucking AI stupid fucking camera doing?
Can you just stop?
Can you just stop fucking movie?
What is it doing?
It's just so that it follows you, you know?
know.
It's for better framing.
No, but I sit back at Zoom bag that came in, it came out.
I'll shut the setting off on your iPad next one.
So I'm, Jake, you were saying something?
No, no, no.
You ought to just tell me how to do it.
All right.
Okay, if you give a man a fish, you feed him for one day.
I was saying the man's fucking Zoom, he still doesn't know how to you.
Yeah.
I was just saying the method of the first turnover, uh, being a turnover on downs at plus
300.
I thought it would be fun just because we talk about all the time.
These teams go for it on a report down.
So that's funny.
I was like mentioning that one.
Is there a turnover prop?
Is there an interception prop?
What about that guy one year that he bet that someone would run out on the field
and then he ran out on the field?
Yeah.
And he won like $8,000 and he paid like a fucking, you know, a $300.
I don't know what, somehow the math worked out.
I saw that post.
That was a streaker.
So what he should have done was he should have fucking had one of his friends bet it.
He still didn't get in trouble.
Like, I'm surprised at Casino.
Because he's right there.
It's like, is he cheating?
It's like I didn't cheat.
I actually did it.
And I got arrested.
Yeah.
I'm not having cards.
I'm in jail.
Andrew, is there a turnover thing or no?
That's what I'm looking at now.
No.
The defensive section.
Yeah, it's very specific.
It'll be like, is this player going to force the turnover or whatever?
but like that's like you know too that's too niche that definitely is something crazy to bet on method of first turnover as jake by the way if you're on benmgm certain states do not allow certain bets so like this is jersey we're looking at jersey of course we are of course we are
of course we couldn't find it early in the week we had to email and we're like hey wouldn't they said oh no you got to you got to set it to jersey so you can see it all
god put new jersey that close to new yorks or new yorks or new y'n't you know
Yorkers could feel better about their
stumbags. Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good one.
What do you guys think is going to happen
for the actual game? I mean, New York,
New Jersey, new whatever,
New Bedford.
Anytime there's a new in it. It's just, you know,
you got to watch your wallet.
That's that old, that old stand-up joke.
New York? That old stand-up joke, Chris.
New Hampshire. I don't give a fuck.
Anything with new in it. Just watch yourself.
Remember Chris, I saw Chris Rock at
Chris Rock at the stress factory
when I featured that week
and Vinnie Brand told me to come and see Chris Rock that week
and then they charged me back in the day.
I'll never forget that, Vinny.
I don't care if you see this.
I was going to run for office.
That's fantastic.
He has the background for it.
Chris Rock goes,
New Brunswick.
He goes, I hate to see old Brunswick.
It's like, that's a comment.
That's a known thing.
All right, you know what?
Let's do, we should do our picks, and we'll start with Andrew and Jake,
and then me and Bill will finish off the, we'll finish off the season.
Guys, so what we'll do now is we will do our picks for the show.
We'll start with Andrew and Jake, and then Bill and I will close this puppy out
and get everybody ready for the weekend.
So we're not going to do the Pro Bowl next week?
No, it was last week.
It was a fucking flag football game.
That's how bad it's got that it's gotten a flag football.
But you know what, Jake, that's how they're finally realizing what the playing the game of football does to your brain.
There's no reason to do the extra.
Yeah, I'm all for that.
Play, play, play pickleball.
Just, it's so stupid.
Is pickleball over?
No.
That's still popular.
It's still popular.
It was getting so much press.
Like highlight.
It's sort of the middle ground between ping pong, Marty Supreme, and, uh, 10.
Yeah, tennis.
Thank you, Tom.
All right, Jake, sorry, good.
Jake to Snake, you have the honors.
You have the honors of starting off your Super Bowl pick, buddy.
This is tough because it's really a perfect number at four and a half.
I think Seattle's probably the better team,
but New England's been great all year.
I love Brable.
They've done a great job.
So I think Bill's instincts are right.
I think the NFL will want the Seahawks to win
and the Patriots to cover.
So I think that's just going to happen.
I'll take the four and a half of Patriots.
Andrews, Emlis.
I'm going to go Patriots, obviously.
I mean, it's pretty simple.
I actually feel good about this.
I asked my friend of basketball last week because also from Massachusetts.
I was like, yeah, I feel pretty good.
I go, and I don't just feel that way.
I actually considered it.
And I actually feel pretty good about this game.
So, you know.
Relax confidence.
Yeah.
I really do.
I think we're going to control it.
I think we're going to control most of the, I think we're going to control most of the game.
So clock and at least two sides of the ball.
So there we go.
All right, we got two Patriots.
You know what, Bill, I'll let you close this puppy because you had the good year.
All right, look, this game, I've been going back and forth with this in my head up until this show.
I've been thinking so many different things.
I think Seattle has a slightly better defense,
but I don't know about the coach
because the Seattle coach is two years in.
Mike Vrable is only one year in with this team,
but Mike Vrable has been great everywhere he's been.
So I think the coaching edge goes to the Patriots.
I think there's a little more talent on the other side
with Leonard Williams on the front lines of the defensive line of the Seahawks.
Dude, if it was money line or a pick-em,
I might say Seattle.
I just, oh my God, I'm going to change my pick.
I thought that it was, I thought I was going to sit on this show today and say Seattle.
I really did.
But you know what?
I think Seattle can win the game and might win the game.
I just think it would be by three if they did.
So I got to, I'm going to take the New England Patriots getting four and a half points.
I have to take the points.
So there you go.
I'm taking the underdog for the Super Bowl.
All right.
like that you said if it was three. I think three is a push. I feel like Seattle is the better team
athletically at all the positions. And I think we have the advantage at the coaching level.
And I think we're going to do the classic Belichick thing. Whatever their strength is on offense,
we're going to take it away. Everybody does that now. Broncos did that to us last, you know,
in the AFC championship game. I think this is going to like how the Patriots win is we have to out-coach them.
That's what's going to. We have the coaches to do that. And I am a Patriots fan. So do not bet by what I say here, because this is all passion. I love the Patriots. I think not only they, I think even if we lose the game we cover, but I think, you know, in my heart of hearts, we're going to out coach them and we're going to win. Like, that's what I want to have happened. So I can't even, I almost have to like remove myself from this argument, dude. It's my team in the, yeah, super.
But I all say is I'm going to take the Patriots four and a half, but Seattle's a fucking great team.
And I loved watching Sam Darnold getting all this shit and all of this stuff.
And then finally getting with the team that knows what they're doing.
Because everybody's talking about, oh, the Patriots.
Oh, my God, they're back there soon.
Hey, so Seattle.
Seattle wasn't, they didn't go away for that long either.
So I think these are both great organizations.
And like I said, I think that they have, they have better players.
at some key positions.
We can hang with them.
And what's going to level us out is Brable.
And Josh and all those guys are going to out-coach him.
And then we're definitely going to cover.
But as far as if we win, dude, whether we win or not, it's a flip-up of a coin.
But I can tell you, though, if it wasn't my team, I would still take the four-and-a-half.
I love four-and-a-half.
If it was three, I would just be like, that's what they should have put it at.
They should have put it at three.
and Vegas would have cleaned up because it would have been a push.
I think it's going to come right down to the end.
Don't think it goes into overtime, though.
Yeah, and if it went up, if it went up to six, I'd put both Lexuses on it.
I would put the whole house on it if it went up to six.
And having said that, dude, I don't know what is with Seattle fans.
Like, the Mariners fans are cool.
Cracken fans are cool.
Back in the day, went to the Sonics, they're cool.
I don't know what this, this, like, Comic-Con shit is that they do when they go to games,
this like, and I shouldn't just say them, but like the level of dressing up, there was
back in the day, there was always one idiot who did it.
And it was fun because it was just like, that guy's out of his fucking mind.
Now it's like entire sections.
I feel like it started with the dog pound.
Grown men eating dog biscuits.
Well, don't forget, though, the Raiders dress up like Darth Vader and shit.
Oh, no, they completely lost their way.
When I was, when I watched them in the 70s, dude, they pan to the crowd.
like the fucking Hells Angels were in there.
Like they were really intimidating men.
They were just like cigarette smoking fucking looting.
And I don't imagine just thinking like, dude,
Oakland's got to be one of the toughest places in the world.
Like even like Ken Stabler,
until you heard him talk because he had a high-pitched voice
and kind of had the twang.
But like when you just saw him with that fucking white beard and stuff,
it's like he looked like their leader.
Like he should have come in with the ape arms chopper.
And then somewhere, now that they're like dressed in like Darth Vader
and Boba Fed.
and Chubaka and they have like names for their characters.
It's sad.
It's fucking sad.
It is.
Like, Jesus Christ, take that shit off and go talk to a woman.
Turn your life around.
Dude, imagine what it would feel like to put the Chubaca head on and then just go like into your seat.
Yeah, then you lose by 40.
Yeah.
I don't care if you're winning.
I also feel, I also feel.
I also feel there's a different aspect to this.
I feel like this game,
I do feel like there's a little more pressure with Seattle.
I feel like the Patriots could play a little more free.
And I feel that this whole week I was like Seattle.
Seattle's going to win.
Seattle's going to win.
And then something in me was like, no, dude, I don't know.
So I think it's the points, but it should be a great game.
We hope that you guys enjoy the game.
As a matter of fact.
The guest guy was cool.
He had a jersey and a fire.
Fireman helmet.
That's the far as you need to go.
You start borrowing your wife's makeup, Paul.
You've got to have that moment.
Like, what am I doing?
No, it's nuts.
It's nuts.
You're not in Queen.
Like, what are you doing?
Exactly.
Taking your shirt.
Hello, just watching the show.
Over and over.
Well, guys, the whole show picked New England with the points.
There you go.
This is the last show of the year.
No, it isn't.
We'll come back in August.
It's the last show of the season.
Paul, you're like, you already have me sad like the game's over.
Don't do this.
Hey, Bill, Bill, it's a dog and pony show.
A horse and pony show.
What did I say?
No, yeah, you go.
It's a horse and pony show.
Bill just goes, Paul.
It's dog and pony show.
No, I said, no, I go, it's pony and dog.
Then I found it was dog and pony.
Like, I don't know.
And what does that even mean, by the way?
It used to be back when the circus came to town, that was part of that.
Actually, I looked it up to find that out.
And there's an actual flyer that had dog and pony show where, I mean, that was like, dude, this was like entertaining.
You're churning your own butter.
Your closest neighbor was four miles away.
You basically married the first woman.
saw.
Yeah, I'll do.
Whether she wanted to
or not, as far as
some of the history books
talk about.
Do my grandparents.
Somebody was actually coming to town
and there was a fat
lady singer and they had
dogs and ponies
and they do tricks?
Oh my God.
Dude, you're sitting in the middle
of nowhere, whittling a stick.
No online porn, Paul.
No, I googled it too.
I googled horse and pony,
and that's just when you go
somewhere and there's horses.
and ponies to like rhyme.
I've been,
I've been reading this Mark Twain
biography that came out recently's
churn off. He does these really
in-depth biographies. They're really good.
And yeah, just
listening, reading Twain
going to these places
and sending these letters back to
America. These people have never heard or seen
any of this shit. And it's like the world was so
big then. And yeah, like
you said, like just what people experience
like, oh my God, a dog and pony shows coming
to town. And you hear about it. It's like, yeah, it sounds
It sounds like a blast.
Mark Twain wrote...
He's so funny.
The stuff, dude, have you ever read, Paul?
You ever read Mark Twain?
Dude, it sounds like he's talking about social media now.
He was talking about people back then.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, it's great.
And it's like fucking hilarious.
I remember I still can't find it.
They had a collection of his short stories.
I read it in, uh, when I was in L.A. in the late 90s.
I'm reading this one while I'm reading the other book because as I go through time,
I want to like actually read the stuff that he's reading.
So this is the one I'm reading now.
This is, uh, Tales, Speeches, essays, and,
sketches, but the actual one that he wrote while abroad was called The Innocence Abroad or the
New Pilgrim's Progress.
But, yeah, that I'm going to start reading next week.
I can't remember the name of the one that I was reading.
Paul, it was a collection of his short stories, and he was talking about wherever he was,
how fucking stupid the people were.
I was reading a book laughing out loud.
And at that point, the book was like 90 years old.
Wow.
Yeah.
No, dude, that guy is like one of, uh...
What year did he die?
Like early last century, I think.
20s?
Lloyd, chill out.
I think he died.
It would be funny if there's actually an axe murder around there.
1910.
All right, you know, I tried.
Did you hear George Wallace's...
You told me to show out!
Did you hear George Wallace's...
Dude, George Wallace did that...
was on a radio show, and he just...
He made me burst out laughing.
He goes, how come the dogs always got to get the last bark out?
And he'd be like, like...
Woo!
Boom!
Boom!
My dog was that.
It's like last licks.
All right, guys, you guys know the drill.
Download the app, use our code bird, B-U-R-R.
Thank you so much.
Put as little as $10 and you get $1,500 in bonus bets
and the first touchdown.
If your player gets the first touchdown, you win.
If they don't, but get the second, you get your cash back.
As we always say, bet responsibly, have fun with it.
Enjoy, and here's what I'll say.
Do not invite anybody to your Super Bowl party that is not into the game.
That's the message.
And also, thank you to all you guys for watching again this year.
We had a great time.
I love doing this podcast.
Jake to Snake, do we got to get a hang in a couple of times before August.
Absolutely.
I love it.
I'm living vicariously through you.
I'm a married man.
You cut and wait?
What do you got on?
You look like that's got a trash bag on.
Yeah, I have the merch on anything.
Oh, you do.
Oh, all right.
Rock on the last day.
Dude, those merch held up.
My wife and son, they all have that tie-dye shirt from the Halloween one, and they hold up well.
By the way, I'm going to be in L.A.
from the 15th to the 19th.
We should do a little A.B.
dinner.
I love it.
Little dantanas or something like that.
Hey, listen, I'm me.
You gotta go chicken pump.
Hey, Bill, Phil.
These are in the store, too.
These are in the store, too.
Just got a shit for these.
Oh, we got new merch.
Is that the football?
Yeah, they just got a little late in the season here.
We put it together.
But yeah, Paul, I'll bring one over.
Jake, I'll bring one over.
That's the, uh, that's awesome.
Oh, that's awesome.
Oh, that's cool.
That's really cool.
That's really cool.
Is that kids would love that.
Yeah, dude.
I need a package.
I'll have sent some smalls, yeah.
Okay.
All right, guys, enjoy the Super Bowl,
and you'll be hearing from us real soon.
Take care.
