Monday Morning Podcast - the Playoffs, Life Insurance, Being An Executor | Monday Morning Podcast 1-19-26

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

Bill rambles about the playoffs, woman getting life insurance, and being the executor of a trust. Butcher Box:  As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between filet mignon, ny strip or chicken breast in every box for a year, PLUS $20 off when you go to http://www.ButcherBox.com/BURR  SquareSpace:  Check out http://www.squarespace.com/BURR or a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use code BURR to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Helix:  Go to http://www.helixsleep.com/BURR for 27% Off Sitewide Exclusive for listeners of Monday Morning Podcast Policy Genius:  Head to http:///policygenius.com/BILLBURR to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could save.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday. January 19th, 2000, 26. What's going on? How are you? Oh, Jesus.

Drake May. Throw the fucking ball away, brother. Just throw it away. Watching the Pats right now. End of the third quarter. 21 to 16. I got to do the podcast while I watch because I'm losing my fucking mind. I can't handle this.

I will say this. Much as it was hard to watch the Patriots the last few years, you know, it was nice to not have to worry about having a heart attack during the playoffs because we weren't in them. They could just sit here and enjoy it and not be emotionally invested. This has been an ugly game. This has been an ugly game. Half-time.

Jesus Christ, could they trash C.J. Stroud anymore? Go through four and a seven. No, he didn't. There were four interceptions. One of it was tipped at the line. Okay? That's not throwing an interception. That's a tip fucking ball.

It's not like he threw it to somebody. And then another one, he fucking throws it to that 87, his tight end, whoever the fuck that guy hits him right in their hands. And the guy tips it up in the air like he's setting somebody up for a spike in volleyball. And I'll tell you what? Oh, I'll tell you. I'll tell you right now. I will tell you what.

With all of these new fucking stats out there, yaks, yards after catch and all of this shit, like, I don't think quarterbacks, I don't think that that should go against them. When you throw it to a wide receiver and it hits them in the fucking hands, I don't mean slightly overthrown. I mean a ball that should be caught. Maybe that's why they don't do it because, you know, how do you decide that? That's like, did he or did he not make a football move, which I will get to with that fucking debacle of a call, that makeup call.

I have a theory of that on that fucking Bill's Broncos game. But if, you know, if you throw it to your receiver, he's a professional, he's supposed to catch it. If it hits him in the hands, like, you know, you throw it on the floor, hands of fucking stone, and it flies. Who is that stupid reporter with that serious look on his face during that goddamn commercial? like he's actually fighting the battle. With this bulletproof vest on? You know what's so dumb about a bulletproof vest?

What about your head? I understand your head is a smaller target so people aim center mass. But, you know, I always looked at that like, you know, your head is the hard drive. All right? Your chest is sort of, you know, I know there's a lot of important shit in there.

But you can get shot in there. chest and you can still, you know, stumble a few feet. You get shot in the head. That's it. It's fucking over. Why don't they have a bulletproof vest for your head? It's like motorcycle ride. You can buy a vest now that's an airbag, but nothing for your legs. It's just such like a corporate cunty thing to do. Like let's get them to buy the fucking one for their torso first and then eventually we'll get the one from the head. Although I remember back in the the day, back in the day when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore. Two fucking lunatics robbed the Bank of America in the valley. I got a buddy of mine, you know, totally grew up here

in L.A. There was almost L.A. things ever. I was like, dude, I drove by that Bank of America where that big shootout happened back in the day. And he's like, dude, that was my bank. Total fucking valley guy. Anyway, and that's like a catchphrase now. Between us, whenever, like, you know, somebody brings up something that somebody, the other guy already knows about, that's what you say now.

Dude, that was my bag. Anyway, those guys had full body armor. Full body armor. I always wondered if, that's a flag. That's a fucking flag. You go. There you go. Buttee.

interfered with. Anyway, they had the full armor. Like head to toe, they had the skates guards. They could block shots. They could do whatever the fuck you wanted to do. And the only way that they ended up getting killed, one of the guys killed himself.

It was fucking insane. It was like that movie heat, except it was in the valley and it was real. And those two fucking assholes, because of what they, did. Now the cops have like the same weaponry as like, you know, the military in a lot of ways because these assholes, Robin Banks escalated it to that. But then, you know, you know the cops. They don't work for us. They work for them. So now they have these, you're just setting it up

for a police state. So I think that both of those guys were CIA plants and they really didn't kill each other to kill themselves or get killed by the cops. That's what I think. I'm going to float that out there because it's the internet, right? And you can just say anything. You can say anything, and then somebody takes it and they'll have like, they'll quote this as fact, but not say who said it. They'll just say sources. And that's how it starts. And next thing you know, what are you doing? What are you doing? You're fucking, you're digging a doomsday hole in the ground. I always love that. Those people who build like fucking...

You know what my doomsday plan is? Is to get killed. To die at peak civilization. That's what the fuck I want to do. I don't want to fucking live underground and then fucking come back up eating radioactive squirrels when I run out a canned fucking tuna

a year and a half later. Dude, I don't know what people think that they're doing when they come out of the ground. Touchdown! One end of it. motherfucker catch. Woo! Boote!

There you go, baby. There you go. Holy fucking shit. What a goddamn catch that was. Unfucking believable. Oh, he brought the other hand in the last second. I'm telling you, dude, like, these fucking kids,

the level of athleticism, don't even say that touched the ground and he didn't fucking control it, you fucking cunts. I swear to God if you do this. Don't do this. Yeah, that is a cat. Catch, cut, touchdown.

I have the sound down. I can only imagine, well, do you, do you make a football move when he fucking rolled over? Anyway, speaking of which, how about that makeup call for Sean Payton? That fucking call at the end of the game where they somehow, oh my God, they're showing it again.

This means they're fucking, oh, he has it. That's 100% a touchdown, except nowadays. Nowadays, that all sports teams are now sports books and they're in business with Vegas. This right now, they're calling Las Vegas and now they're showing your fried chicken. This is how it works. You know, eat the poison, forget what you just saw. Let us manipulate it. I'll tell you right now, the CIA runs the NFL, okay?

I mean, this is just, right? I mean, false flags right there. That was not. Sorry. Anyway. The end of that, the over. overtime game of the bills. I haven't watched the game, okay?

But I saw the, I saw the overtime. All right, I got kids so I can watch one game a weekend, so I watch my Patriots. That fucking play where it went from a catch to an interception, if anyone can explain that to me. Josh Allen throws it to his receiver, the fucking guy catches it, lands on the ground with the DB, touching him. So he's down by contact, or if you want to say he ripped it out as he was on the ground, he didn't have it long enough. There wasn't a football move when he fell to the ground. Then it's no catch. It's either no catch or down by contact. But how the Denver guy can be on the ground with him touching the other receiver, rip the ball away, and then that is his,

I don't understand that. Unless what? what they're saying is as he came down, the ball was bobbling, bobbling, which it didn't look like it. And then he pulled it out and like the bills guy never had control of it. And then the other guy did and the ball never touched the ground. So that's why it's an interception. What I think it is, is they owed Sean Payton for that fucking horrific no call of a pass interference when he was coaching the Saints. And they went ahead and they made it up. And I'm not going to lie to you. when the Bills hit that field goal, it didn't go wide right at the end of regulation. I thought that they were going to win the game.

And my condolence, condolences to Buffalo Bills fans and just Buffalo fans in fucking general. Okay. I don't know, like, in my heart of hearts, I think the NFL doesn't like that there's a team in Buffalo. And they just want it to move. And they just keep doing this shit to you. Well, I don't know. You guys haven't been fucked by the refs. Your ass has kicked four years in a row. Well, wide right.

I forget that the Redskins game and then the Dallas games were just fucking debacles. But that fucking 1999 man in the crease and they didn't call it all year, I just will never understand that. I feel like every 20 years when there's a Stanley Cup final, there's just something fucking egregious that happens. So 1999, Dallas stars are in the fucking crease. They don't fucking call it for whatever goddamn reason. Why do they keep showing that? I swear to God. They're showing the play again.

We kick the extra point. It's over. Now are they saying good things? Um, look at this guy. I can't believe it. Oh, my God. I should have bet the over. Anyway.

Was that his true reaction? That looked like a commercial. for how exciting NFL football is. Anyway, what the hell was I talking? What was I even chatting about here? The fuck was I talking about? Oh, I was talking about the Sean Payton thing, like the fucking makeup.

I just don't understand that call. Oh, I was talking about every 20 years in the Stanley Cup. So 20 years after that, the Bruins play the St. Louis Blues. And we had been penalized for playing hockey for the better part of 10 years. So we came up with the Olympic finesse hockey team that the NFL acted like they wanted to have.

And then the blues showed up playing Bruins hockey, running our goaltender. They didn't call anything. And the blues beat the Bruins playing Bruins hockey. I mean, God bless, you know, I'm happy for St. Louis. And I also, I love the blues. I kind of have a thing for the expansion seven. I've always liked all those teams.

except for the penguins. I don't like the penguins because they took the Bruins colors. They forfeited them. And then we wore them forever and then they came back and just took them. Well, they came back as baby blue and then they took them.

And then also like just, their brand of hockey over there with the amount of like just fucking can we stop the run today, people. They're brand of hockey of just blowing out guys' knees and fucking, you know, waiting for them to follow through on shots

and, you know, doing the Scott Stevens hits. Like, I don't know, it's just, it's gross. And then on top of that, you put those assholes in your ring of honor. And then you bitch moan and complain about fucking Sidney Crosby. It's, you know, the way people treat them. You know, I'm more of a Washington Capitals guy. And I always like the Flyers because I just immediately, I always like the fights.

And they were the Broad Street bullies. And what was funny about them is they won back-to-back cups in 74, 75. and they were just like, this is, this is, this is how we got there and this is how we're playing. They finally have stopped doing that. I mean, the whole league has, oh, no, the underthrown ball pass interference. They didn't call it. Thank God. Thank God.

That fucking play, there's another one that is bullshit in the NFL. They rewarded a, maybe that's the balance. If a wide receiver tips a ball for an interception, they call it, uh, you know, he gets the interception. I mean, he gets the interception, the quarterback does. But if you underthrow a fucking football, Jesus, there's a, there's a, that's past interference right there. We got away with that one. Well, you know, they got away with the false start. Look at CJ. He's like, what the fuck, dude. I don't have enough seniority in this league. All right? If Aaron Rogers threw that, that's a pass interference all fucking day long.

Hang in there, kid. Hang in there. Anyway, I'm all over the map here. So, like, that was such a weird call that that was an interception. I just, I don't get it. Down by contact or no catch, I get that he didn't hold on to it long enough. But now I'm thinking maybe because the ball didn't, if they didn't think he secured it and the ball was sort of up for grabs as they were both lie in there, it's kind of like, you know,

when they go to tackle a running back and they think they tackle them, but he sort of spins around on the guy in his knees, nothing touches the ground, and everybody thinks it's a tackle and then he keeps running. Does it fall under that? I don't know. Anyway, oh, Jesus Christ.

Look at the founding fathers out there. You know, that's when you know you're a fucking true fan. You know, when it's snowing out, it's January, and you're outside dressed like fucking Paul Revere. There's almost another pickoff there. You dress like fucking Paul Revere. Oh, the old need-to-kneed-nee contact. Fucking Texans just keep getting fucking hurt here.

Anyway, and then also, what about the fucking Broncos? Bo Nix breaks his ankle with like three plays left. See, that's the thing. To win a championship, not only do you got to have the players, the coach, the GM, the ownership, you got to be lucky, too. Oh, that wasn't need to knee. Oh, out. Ouch. All right. This is getting ugly here.

Anyways, let's plow ahead here. How about those fucking Boston Bruins? I went to that stankeroo of a game up there in Seattle at that amazing, what do they call it, climate first, where they use rainwater for the ice and all of that, that hippie-dippy shit. We need to be doing more of that. You know, if ice is just going to go in to cities now and just shoot unarmed minds, The amount of people defending that, like, how much hate is in your heart? Some mom driving away in a fucking SUV and you just fucking filler full of holes. Do you realize the whole world is watching this when we're doing this? Like, you know, I'm not saying, you know, you want to get rid of illegal immigrants. That's not the fucking way you do it.

Why does everything have to be stormtrooper shit? It's so fucking, it's such a pussy fucking. move. That whole goddamn show of force and all of these fucking nerds and ice acting like they're in special forces. You're fucking going in arresting people making tacos. What the fuck is wrong with you showing up with all of that gear on? Good Lord. You got to have all of that on to arrest a mom. Jesus Christ. What did she have? An air freshener in her car? Unreal. Unreal. But you know, that's how racism works because they're not your color so you can't see your mom until it's too fucking late because that's the thing about this ice and this alligator alcatraz.

Eventually, they're going to be out of illegal immigrants. And then, you know, guess who's going to be next? You don't recognize what's going on in this country. You must not watch foreign affairs how, you know, a certain group here likes to go in and destabilized countries. And the fact that none of these politicians are talking about what social media is. is doing to the fabric of this country, just pulling us apart. CNN and Fox News.

The fact that they're allowed to do this every day, scream fire in a crowded movie theater and get us all fucking riled up. They're getting the herd all fucking... That means something's... They're going to do something for them. And they're going to say it's for you, white person, and you're going to fucking believe it. And I'm telling you, eventually they're going... Ice is going to come for you unless you do exactly what these fucking Epstein Island cunts want

you to do. All right. There you go. Houston punts. Houston punts. Let's have a nice, long, sustaining. Get out, get out, get out, get out. Oh, nice play by the special teams.

Tell you right now, you know, if you're going to let that ball go, you've got to have the situational awareness to understand how the football is going to react when it hits that wet turf. That right there. Number 11, what a play. God damn it, God damn it, God damn it. That's the type of thing that keeps you in the game.

beautiful play beautiful play look at this kid playing all 60 minutes a little hold on his jersey keeps fighting it off opportunity see that he played the whole play he finished his check anyways the Boston Bruins

oh geez I just dropped my goddamn phone Boston Bruins after that stinkeroo up there in Seattle Seattle the Cracker also played a great game their four check was unbelievable okay I'm giving credit work credits do. We came back, had a five-game homestand. All right? I just binged all of them. We beat Calgary. We beat the Rangers. Look at this kid, trying to get fucking polio.

Shirtless in the crowd. Anyway, we beat Calgary, then we beat the Rangers, then we beat the fucking cunty penguins, then we beat the Red Wink, shut them out, back to back. One-nothing, then we beat the Red Wings, who seem to always be good, three to nothing. I know this doesn't mean shit come April. You got to beat him four out of seven. But, you know, we had a rough year last year, you know. And then we come back, we beat the Cracken, retire Zadano Chara's number, which is really cool because he's also 33.

So now 33 no longer exists for the Celtics or the Bruins, Larry Legend, and Zadano Chara. and we beat the Cracken. And then yesterday we go out to Chicago, home of the Liars Club, one of my favorite bars back when I used to drink in the country. We beat the Blackhawks. I haven't watched that game yet. I binged the other five games.

I got all caught up. I just decided to take a, you know, you know, once I had kids, kids, I kind of stopped watching sports because I got to like, you know, I got to be there for him. And then I realized, like, Bill, you know what? You love sports. It keeps you in a good mood. You got to like, you know, you got to treat yourself to a game every once in a while. So what I do now is I tape all the Bruins games. And then when everybody goes to sleep, I go downstairs and I kind of like, you know, fast forward through the commercials and the stoppage of

play and everything. And I'm able to get caught up in what I'm. love now is my kids go outside and play baseball. Baseball, like right now and soccer, but mainly baseball with each other in the backyard. Like, they go outside to play sports, which I got to be honest with you. With video games, iPads, cell phones, all of this fucking shit. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but I feel like me and my wife are doing a great job. I go out there, like, They asked me, they say, hey, Dad, I want to hit some, can I hit some home runs before school? And I get out there. I pitched lefty.

Back in the day, I had my rotator cuff issue on my right, and I learned how to throw lefty, too. So I mostly just throw lefty now, which is something you can learn how to do, by the way. If you just do it, you know, it's a really adult thing, like, to not want to suck at something. You got to remember how you first look when you tried to throw. with your right arm or your left, whatever your natural side is. You can totally learn how to throw with the other, and it's actually really fun, and I believe it's good for your brain. I'm a big believer in knowing how to do shit with both hands, okay?

From pitching to rubbing one out, you've got to be able to do that. I think it's great for your brain, and, you know, and hopefully staving off like, dementia or what's the other one there that I can't remember, ironically, in Alzheimer's. So I've been helping my daughter with multiplication tables

because they're starting to do that third grade and I remember I used to get my ass kicked on that and then my parents got me flashcards and I just started doing those things because the only way to do it is just memorize them, right? in my kid's school, they go up through 13. You know, our multiplication tape. There you go, Drake.

Nice fucking throw. First down. Stefan Diggs. Stefan Diggs. Anyway, they got me these flashcards, and I just started doing them. And I was looking at them the way I was looking at my football cards. And I just never forgot it.

Same way with the football cards. I still remember Louis Kelcher from the San Diego Chargers had a size 16 quadruple E cleat. I still remember that because I drew a little cartoon. I looked at it a bunch of times. And that shit just stuck in my brain. So I made like flashcards. I ordered some, but I'm making some flashcards in the meantime for my daughter. And because she plays sports, I'm able to tie sports into it.

where it's like, you know, when I throw in pitches, I'm like, all right, you got to get five hits both sides of the plate. You know, they get into that. So I just was doing that with the multiplication tables. Like, all right, you got to get all third. Like we were doing, looking at, I think, you know, fours, four times one all the way up to four times 13. And I was just going like, all right, you got to get all 13 in a row before you go to bed. And I forget which one. It was either eight times four or nine times four.

She would mess up. She'd be like 38 or 36. And we just kept doing it. And then she was able to get it down. And I don't know. CJ's looking a little depressed there. Sorry, I know this is fucking weird. I got the game on in the background.

But this is the only way I can handle it. I got to talk to you guys while I'm watching this fucking game. I feel good about this, dude. I feel good about this. If we can just keep getting first downs and then maybe get a field goal that would put us up 15 points. Good no call there. Fourth and eight, not happening on this one. Oh, I got another celebrity.

I got another celebrity endorsement for a commercial. Chris Collinsworth. What's his catchphrase? A little grab of the jersey, you know, if you can get away with it. He kind of grabbed them back, but they never call it on the wide receiver. All right, what are you going to do? Please don't do a fake punt here. Please kick it away.

Please kick it away. Oh, Jesus, what's that guy moving for? Anyway, there you go. Kick it away. Thank you. Didn't really follow through, did he? Fair catch. 12, 13 yard line.

All right. All right. Okay. Let's get another stop here. Oh, my God, the college national championship. Who do you like? You got to like Indiana. But you got to be rooting for, I don't know.

I am actually rooting for Indiana because as much as Miami is the underdog, and I love my buddy Willis. I'll be rooting for that. I'm going to be happy either way. If Miami wins, my buddy Willis and Jackie Flynn will be excited. But Indiana, I don't think they've ever won a football championship, and they are just such a basketball school throughout the years. I will definitely be happy for them.

It's going to be fucking awesome. It's going to be an awesome game. Anyway, let me do the reads here. Did I talk about everything I wanted to talk about here? Oh, I had a really good flight the other day. Hey, a really good flight. I had, Jesus, they're letting them play today, man. He was fucking hugging him like a talk.

there taking his first steps. Big man, big man, nine yards. Oh, Jesus, you hate to see it. Texans playing a little bit of the hurry up. Look at that fucking guy. Did he smoke a joint or what? What the fuck was the look on his face? Or is he just a ginger? You know, that's how we look. We look a little Bill Wildard when you put a helmet on us. All right, I get it. They're keeping him in front of them. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Anyway, so I had the 500-hour maintenance thing. Oh, my little two-seater. So, you know, I pull up to the airport,

and I'm flying out to this airport where they do the maintenance, and I called my instructor, and he was with somebody that was flying an A-Star, which is something that the cops and the media people fly. So I had a ride back So they were flying out You know that thing's fucking heavy right So of course I show up to the airport

You know And anytime I drive in They have a flag right there like deliberately Not even a wind suck just a flag And that fucking thing is like straight out In the wind I'm like Yeah Jesus here we go So

You know there's an air mat for turbulence And that type of shit But you know I got the Cabri G3 So it has a fully articulated Nice play Gonzales I got a 454 to go. I got a, you know, the fully articulated main rotor system. So I don't have to deal with like, you know, mass bumps, low G pushover, or anything like that.

So if you were flying like a Bell or a Robinson, if it had a two-bladed system, what you would do, you just fly slow is what you want to do. But, I mean, it's still, you know, being in an R-22 with, you know, turbulence beyond a certain level. It's just fucking a stupid thing to do. So anyway, I'm flying out to go get this thing. Oh, yes, baby. Yes, yes. Fort down. Deep in their own territory.

Okay. All right. Mike Vrable, what a fucking coach. And how about the GM? All the fucking players they picked up? What a job they did this year. Unbelievable. All right.

So anyway, plowing ahead here. So we're flying out, you know, it wasn't a flight of two. They took off before me, so I was flying out there. So they were ahead of me in this much heavier helicopter. And my instructor radios to me. He goes, Bill, you're on? And I go, yeah, what's up? And he was just like, how you doing with this turbulence?

Which let me know, oh, there's a little flag, man, a little late hit there. No, no, late hit out of bounds. kind of let me know that some shit was coming. You know, I was flying out west towards Oxnard. So, you know, you're in the valley, which is literally a valley. So you kind of protect it a lot. Other than the New Hall Pass, like a lot of the gust of wind can come through that. You just imagine it's like, like, you know, two basically mountains with the road between it,

which creates a venturi. so that air, you know, as the volume of air, it's Venturi effect if you want to look it up. It's the same amount of air is going to move from point A to point B if it's 10 miles wide or 5 miles wide. The same thing with the river. That's why if you're going down a river and all of a sudden it narrows, it starts speeding up

the Venturi effect, which they also use in a carbureated system to increase the air when it emulsed the emulsion with the gas. bill. Yeah, you know, I fucking read on this shit. So anyway, I came in to land and they were landing. It was 8 and 2.6 and, you know, they have helicopters

can land on the on the, what do you call it? The fucking taxiway, right? So I'm coming in for a landing and they, you know, landed your own risk and all of that shit. And I fucked up where I landed like, you know, with the wind to my back, which was a stupid fucking thing to do.

But like, I just wasn't familiar with the airport. I wasn't sure if they'd let me go around the tower. So, you know, I was aware of what I was doing. So I made sure that, you know, I had my fucking airspeed. And I also came to total stop. So when I went to turn, I wouldn't get like totally whipped around or anything. Kind of crabbed into it. But after I was sitting there, I go, like, what the fuck?

I probably shouldn't have done that. my instructor talked to me about it. You know, so like, I mean, that is one of the, that's how you learn in aviation. So hopefully you live to learn. I mean, it wasn't that, but it could have been something stupid. But anyway, landed safely. And then I ended up meeting some people over there that were in aviation on a whole other level. And this guy showed me this bell.

What the hell is it? The bell, uh, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

it's, it's, it's their, it's their entry level one. Is it the 405? I don't know what the hell it's called. 5.05? And, um,

Jesus Christ. I felt good about my helicopter until I saw this. He just had like, one of his blades had more fucking surface area on it than all three of mine. And I'm like, no wonder. No wonder I get bounced around in like this turbulence and shit.

It was like interesting. But then also it's like, you know, when you fly like little shit, like a Cessna or a little Robinson or what I have, like it's totally doable. But then that next level where you can, there's no middle, it's kind of like movies now. Movies, the budget's either a million dollars or it's one of those fucking, one of those superhero movies with that $200 million budget. And that's what like aviation is.

It's like you can pick up something with some hours. on it used. And, you know, you can get into it. You know, you can get into aviation. But, like, if you want to move up, that next move up is just like, you know, you got to be like profiting off a war or something. Like, I just don't understand that whole goddamn world. But it's fun to run into people that do. It's just a whole other fucking level. All right. See, this has been good for me. Two 50 left to go in the game. It's snowing to beat the band. And we are up by 12 points. That's still plenty of time. Oh my God. My celebrity endorsement is for Chris Collinsworth. He loves saying that. There's plenty of time. There's plenty of time. Plenty of time.

Right. And that's what you do. It's some sort of food commercial. and he's making a recipe and somebody ask him for some spice. And he's like, plenty of time. And he's holding up time. T-H-Y-M-E. No? It's a bit of a stretch. I think he does a cameo.

Like the people who sell time all of a sudden, you know, you just create this false narrative that it fucking, you know, it stops prostate cancer, you know. so you need to have more time and you diet, right? And then in the end, they cut to Chris Collinsworth. He goes, plenty of time. And he's like sprinkling it on. There you go.

I mean, come on. These fucking commercials write themselves. All right. Sorry. Julianne Moore is fucking amazing. Everything that she did. What did I see her in? They also, I already knew she was a great dramatic actress,

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year if it's not fucking poison this is how fucked up this world is like they're having it This isn't fucking poisoned food, everybody. Jesus Christ. Where are all the blogs on that? Can't find that, can you? Tell jokes to the wrong group of people. Oh, boy, do they come for you? What, they're just poisoning the food supply of their own countrymen.

Thank God for butcher box, right? Here's some patriotic goddamn people. Every product meets the same rigorous standards, whether you're cooking a filet mignon or popping chicken nuggets into the air fryer, it's all quality across the board. A certified B-Corp Butcher Box is committed to doing things right.

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They're bringing you quality meat that you can trust and they'll show you how to prepare it. As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between filet mignon, New York strip, or chicken breast in every box for a year, plus $20 off when you go to butcherbox.com slash burr. You know what I love to do? I love to start it in the skillet and finish it in the fucking stove. And that, you know, you can read that as sexual, but I'm still talking about food. Um, oh, God damn it, incomplete. Um, Hernandez, he's out of jail. Oh, no way. Sorry. Um, um,

Do we just completely going to act like that guy never played for us and just say that guy's wearing Russ Francis's old number? Or Randy Moss. Didn't Randy Wass wear 81? I can't remember. Anyway. Just read the ad bill. Okay. That's right.

Your choice. I like to do it. Yeah, you do it. You searing on both sides. You finish it in the oven. And then you bring it up. You get a little garlic, little butter, little rosemary. You spoon it over the top.

You have the skill it. You're angling it there. Chris Collins worth 149 to go. Plenty of time. There's plenty of time. As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between a filet mignon, New York strip. My mouth waters when I read this ad. Chicken breasts in every box for a year.

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Don't forget to use our links so they know we sent you. Okay. Look at Mike Braver. What a great head of hair, huh? You know you got a great head of hair when you can still do the fade, look like a fucking retired astronaut. All right. Speaking of hair systems, I was watching the Bruins game the other day. Am I out of my mind or did Charlie McAvoy do a hair system ad while he's still playing for the Bruins?

It's really amazing, like how good hair systems are now that you're actually not even ashamed because they look great. God bless you. I swear to God, when I started to go, if the hair systems were actually decent, I still couldn't get it because I had alopecia in the back of my head and that's where they take the hair from. from all my childhood trauma there. You know, so yeah, it's a price you pay. It's a price you pay. You want to be good at comedy? You have to have the required childhood.

All right, Squarespace. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offering with the professional websites, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. Another drop. Another drop.

CJ Stroud better not take the fucking heat there. There's been a lot of drop passes. Coach knows it too, man. I like this Texan team, and they are a team of the future, and I would stick with C.J. Stroud. He's going to get a ton of fucking bitching and all of that crap. You know, it hasn't only been him. their offensive line got totally dominated today.

I felt like we controlled the trenches. I've actually think the D-lines on both teams, you know, did a fantastic job. Is that guy wearing Thai law as old number? Anyway, Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experience, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time with professional on-brand invoices and online payments. Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in, a point. scheduling and email marketing tools.

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Why is Steve Grogan covering that guy? Drop the fucking ball. That's the game. What the fuck? Stefan Diggs, can't believe it. What the fuck just happened? How did he drop that ball? How did he drop that?

Oh, sound up now. Sound up. What happened? Oh, no, it was a great defensive play. He got his hand in there. You got his hand in there. Steve Grogan, the son of Steve Grogan. Nice.

All right. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall, perfect for online courses and exclusive tutorials and premium workshops. Sound going down. Dude, it's been so long since the Patriots, I feel,

since we were worthy of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman during the dark years. After Tom Brady left, Belichick left, and all of that, like we fell off the radar there for a minute. So congratulations. to the Patriots organization, what they've done this year. And all these assholes that said we had an easy fucking schedule. Look at us. All of a sudden, we're in the AFC championship game.

Taking a knee. That's the game, baby. Make smarter decisions with Squarespace intuitive, built-in analytic tools, review website traffic, learn way to focus engagement and track revenue from bookings, invoices, or products, sales all from one place. Check out Squarespace.com slash burr, all or a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code, Burr, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain that's,

Squarespace.com slash burr for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code burr to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh my God, we got one more here. Patriots in the AFC championship game playing the Bo Nixless Broncos in Denver. So Sean Payton has this work cut out for him. But stranger things have happened. So I am not counting my chickens before they hatch here.

Um, we shall see. We shall fucking see. Anyway, uh, Helix everybody, Helix. How are you navigating the colder season and spending more time indoors, parentheses, in your bedroom? Staying comfortable inside with your helix mattress? A good night's rest sets you up for a great day. Something that can ruin a night's sleep for me is, um, my wife watching murder shows as I lay on a fucking uncomfortable mattress. You know, last week when my wife was binge watching heated rivalry, it wasn't the gay sex as much, it wasn't the relentless gay sex as much as it was my uncomfortable mattress. Every time I would turn away from the screen, like my shoulder would start hurting. And then I had to make a decision.

Do I take the pressure off my right shoulder and roll over and watch a man blow up? another man or do I take the pain? Thank God for... Oh shit. Thank God for... Dude, you know what's great about heated rivalry being a smash fucking hit

is... Do you remember when all of a sudden vampire and were making money? Then they're like, you know, Hollywood. Let's fucking roll out 50 of them. So I will tell you this right now. No sport is safe. they're just, they're going straight through.

And then eventually, once they've worn it out, then all like the women are going to be like, hey, what about the lesbians, right? And then they're going to have a bunch of, you know, but they had one a long time ago. I remember when I was a kid, they had a track and field one with Muriel Hemingway. I remember a long time ago. So this is going to be a whole new genre. It's so fucking funny. All of these years, all of this fucking homophobia and all of this perceived that people

had a fucking problem with it. It's really just closeted gay people and severely religious people who actually believe, you know, what they hear on Sunday. Other than that, nobody has a problem with it because look at the fucking ratings. So it's a great thing, you know? And I think that gay people will finally feel accepted when they don't have to be in literally Cinemax level shit. because the level of fucking, like, we get it. You know what I mean? That was just like, you know, I don't know what, I don't know what, I don't know, you know,

that reminded me, you know, of straight ones where you're watching it. You're like, there's no way that guy isn't fucking that woman right now. He's insider. He has to be. How do you fake that? Jesus Christ, there's a guy who didn't need to take your shirt off. All right. Let's get back to this.

Let's do a straight read here. here, no pun intended. Helix, everybody. How are you navigating the coldest season and spending more time indoors in your bedroom? Staying comfortable inside with a Helix matrix, a good night's rest, sets you up for a great day. Something that could ruin a night's sleep for me is

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Jesus fucking Christ. This is like the NHL playoffs. It just keeps going. Policy genius. All right. Protecting your loved ones and financial planning for the future is overwhelming. And how, oh, I'm supposed to say how finding the right insurance policy can help ease that way. Yes, I'm talking specifically.

to men here. You know, we don't like dealing with their fucking mortality. There's no responsibility for women. What's the last time a woman went out and got fucking life insurance? I swear to God, it's always on the guy. You know? And you just have to understand that if you get life insurance, you are in fact giving your wife motive. No, I'm kidding. I went out and I got life insurance and as much as it was something I didn't want to think about, like the end of my life. It made me feel great knowing that if I did kick the bucket in an untimely way that the people I love will be taken care of. It's a great thing to do.

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We are through it. I feel like I've done 45 minutes here. 51 minutes. Jesus Christ. All right. Here we go. Let's do some of your questions here for the week. Leaders of Japan and South Korea have a drum jam.

Bill, check out this article. The leaders of Japan in South Korea had a drum session. The leader of Japan is a woman. Isn't that nice? We should fucking do that over here at some point. You know, balance it out. You need balance.

And if you're a misogynist, just, you know, you ever do a tailgate with just men? What do you show up with? The keg of beer, you know, a bag of chips and shit. If you go with women, all of a sudden, there's tables, there's napkins, There's fucking silverware.

It's the balance. There should be men in power. There should be women in power. You know? Eight years of a conservative, eight years of a fucking liberal, you know? They're all serving the same banks and corporations and, you know, everybody's happy. The leaders of Japan and South Korea had a drum session. The leader of Japan is a woman and a fan of deep purple and Iron Maiden and has been a drummer for some time.

I actually checked it out. Yeah, she actually, she played good, and then the guy from South Korea hung in there. And it's good, you know, there's been, you know, hasn't been like the best relations over there. Japan sort of has American vibes

where they feel like they're the chosen ones and acted accordingly and maybe weren't so nice to their neighbors. We'll skip over a lot of that shit. you know, as we try to take over Greenland. So this is nice that they're getting together there. It is kind of funny at the end of the video, though. The South Korea dude, as a joke, you know, hit one of the symbols.

And I felt the lady from Japan could have him have that moment, but then she hit hers just to be like, well, you're not going to speak last. All right? Let's not get crazy here. And this person says, sincerely, one of your fans from Florida. I don't know why I needed to know that you were from Florida. I like Florida. I don't base Florida on your politics.

I blate based Florida on the time that said I've gone there. I've had a good time in Jacksonville, Tallahassee, Tampa, Orlando, Miami. I've been everywhere. Daytona. I don't give a fuck what you want to do. You want to be all Botox and fake-titted out? I'll go to Miami and hang out. You know, you want to have your mullet and get your fucking, you know, NASCAR.

fucking eat an alligator. I got a desert eagle on both hips, motherfucker. I'll hang out with those guys. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a shit what you're doing as long as you're not hurting anybody else. As long as you're fucking cool.

I have no fucking problem. What you're eating, what you're shooting, what you're driving, how your hair looks, what you're fucking, I don't care. Just don't hurt anybody. I don't think that's much to ask. All right, no rap songs. No rap songs.

What? Hey, Bill, did you see for the, that first, for the first time in 35 years, there isn't a rap song in the top 40, despite the Drake's and the Kendricks? Well, doesn't that also depend when they put their albums out? Kendrick had that huge tour with, uh, we had that Buick Grand National on stage, man. Oh, my God. One of the best rappers with one of the best rappers with one of the best. cars.

That was pretty good marketing. There are really far less rappers in the zeitgeist. Rap is a tough genre to reinvent so I think new producers and guys like Tyler the creator

can keep changing the sound of it. All right. Well, I don't know much about hip-hop, but it seems like it's been changing at a pretty regular pace for a while. I just think what has happened is the internet has just disintegrated everything. It killed the music business. It's killed my business. It's like there's no sort of collective everybody all eyeballs in the same area. I think like the

Super Bowl is one of the last things. But even then, there's a million ways to watch that and consume that. You could tape the game like I do, wait till halftime, and then you start watching it and you blow through it and you don't get caught up with the rest of the world until like the beginning of the fourth quarter. I hope it's not over. I don't think it's over. I think you just have to find it. But, you know, there was a while when rap took over. There wasn't any rock song in the top 40. But also, I feel, you know, music has to move forward. It does have to change. I don't think rock or rap will ever go away. But I also feel like a lot of this fucking shit that DJs are playing, the vibes, you know, kind of putting vibes out there.

I really feel like that speaks to people now because, you know, the way that these news organizations, these conglomerates that aren't news and they're just scaring the shit out of people and just, you know, you feel like your head's on fire by the time watching it. I feel like DJs in a lot of way are really, you know, they're catering to help people with their stress levels, you know, people take a gummy and then they just play a lot of way. like some vibe music. And I've really come 180 on DJs as far as like, um,

you know, my wife at night now, you know, now that Billy's not angry anymore, which is fucking amazing. Um, I still can't believe it. I still cannot fucking believe it.

Um, but we've been like, you know, my wife puts on these YouTube channels where there's just like, this is one of this, couple. And they're like this apartment in New York and they just viving. They got like a cat and shit. And they just play like this, I don't know, it's like the way the guy mixes it together. And then someone's just sort of the lo-fi shit. I don't know what you call it. But it's soothing.

And it's a nice way to end the day. You know, take a couple of hits off a joint and just kind of come to where they are. And we just sit there chilling. You know? So I think that there's like a time in place for music. Like if I was going to listen to hip hop or rock, it's usually if I'm going to a gym or I'm playing drums. And I want to have more like that energy. But like in the morning or the end of the day,

like I think a lot of this stuff that people are making on computers nowadays. I mean, listen, I'm not, I would never, you know, say that, you know, you shouldn't play an instrument and go see live music and stuff. But like I understand more so like that type of stuff. But that is interesting. But I also think that there's always going to be incredible musicians out there. And I'm continuing to discover people.

Like I said, this kid, Daniel Caesar, that like I'm just kind of all in now on. And there's always going to be every generation is going to have their Jimmy Hendricks's and stuff like that. So I don't know. If you younger people, if there's anybody young, listen to this shit. If you can keep me up

on who's out there, I'll listen to any of that shit. All right, moving on. My rich uncles will. Hey, they're Billy's shitbags. What the fuck is that? I don't know what that means. I kind of love that.

Shitbags. I got one for you. I'm not seeking legal counsel. Just some. input from one Boston meathead to another. All right, I love it. All right, do I got to read it in the Boston accent? Dude, in the 70s, my fucking uncle pulled together some scratch and bought an apartment building on the cheap. He fixed it up himself over the course of 30 years while living in one of the apartments. Now it's worth millions. Sadly, he passed away, dude. Just before

Christmas, in his mid-80s, he lived a long life and hasn't been a long life. And he hasn't been a lot of been sick for, and had been sick for a little while, so it wasn't any big surprise, but still nonetheless. The Boston accent didn't feel right, you know, considering this person lost their uncle. Over the course, maybe a little bit, over the course of the last few years, he started to lose it a little bit and had a bad argument with his daughter, his only child, and escalated it to the point where he cut her out of his life. Stop answering phone calls, returned her mail when she sent him handwritten notes, oh, no, from her and her kids, etc. Definitely an overreaction and most likely attributed to his declining mental health.

Oh, man, that's really sad. Sorry about that. That side of the family, my dad included, has lots of childhood trauma too. There you go. So they've always struggled with holding grudges and anger issues. But this was another level. after he passed, oh God, his attorney reached out

and let me know that I was mentioned in the will. Mind you, I am one of 26 cousins on that side of the family, so it seemed a little weird to me right off the bat. Turns out I am not a beneficiary on the will, but I am an executor. That just means I have to manage all of his financial stuff

according to the instructions in the will, like paying his bills, selling the building, etc. Effectively, a project manager, not the beneficiary, so I get zero money. I'm not upset about that fact, but I mention it because it's somewhat relevant for the rest of this story. Oh, boy.

The twist here is that at some point after that argument with his daughter, he angrily stormed into his attorney's office and made them change his will to cut her out. and replace her with his cleaning lady. You read that right. He replaced his only child in the will with the woman who cleans his apartment for him. Oh, boy. Well, at least it's going to somebody, you know.

At least he didn't give it to somebody. Somebody's cleaning houses. You know, they could probably use some scratch, as you say. Oh, man, that's so fucked up. I've been trying to work with my cousin, his daughter. to figure out how she can legally contest the will. But other than that, I am just a spectator, despite being caught right in the middle of all this shit

with no actual skin in the game. I did my best to keep it short and sweet for the purpose of this email. But there is way more juicy detail to this story. I could probably write a book with... He wasn't banging his cleaning lady, was he? I could probably write a book with all of the drama that's going on around this.

Any input or comedic relief from you, provide it on this situation would be appreciated. Thanks and go Pats. Well, all I can tell you, the upside of this thing is the Patriots won. Why can't she contend, was there any proof of his declining mental capacity? That's just, and can lawyers, do they, do lawyers ever say like, buddy, are you sure you want to do this? Like if I was a lawyer and a client came in that far down the road and came in angry and not only wants to write his daughter out of the will, it would be one thing if they just gave it to other family members. But to give it to the cleaning lady would have been a red flag.

But I don't know what power the attorney. They work for the clients, so what can they do? Hey, you know what I mean? I mean, in a way, it's like a fairy tale for the cleaning lady. I mean, I'm getting Julia Roberts vibes out of this. Did he take her shopping on Rodeo Drive? Wow. Does anybody else, has anybody else, like, randomly been made a beneficiary of a will?

And how do you handle that when you come in there? And people who actually have blood ties to the person that die of? fucking staring at you. That's got to be, oh my God, that's got to be weird. All right. Well, another fucking angry Boston story ends the way you thought it would, making no sense. Well, you know what? Hopefully the daughter doesn't become angry about this and is able to understand that it came from a place of childhood trauma, trauma in mental illness. And, you know, your job is to not only, I feel as an adult, is to not let your trauma affect you. You've got to work it out.

And it has to end with you. I think is huge is a big thing. And I have done that the best I could. My kids definitely, my daughter, you know, watch me have a temper for the first eight years of her life. But I always apologized, always said I was wrong. so I was able to at least advance the ball there and now I've gotten rid of my temper

and now I don't even curse in front of my kids. It's like it's unreal. My kids also know that they're loved. They also are not afraid of me. They speak their mind and I am 100% involved in their life. And that's the only way, I don't know,

because you can't undo the shit that happened to you, but what you can do is make sure you don't pass it on as much as you can. And you have to forgive yourself in your 20s and 30s where you don't realize you're fucked up and you end up hurting other people and stuff. And, you know, but once you realize you're fucked up, then that's when the work starts. And it takes a while.

It took me till I was 57. So anyway, all right, last thing here. Billy Baby Boy. Bill, as a man who was related to your anger and cynicism deeply for 10 years, and as a man who went to therapy and healed myself for my childhood, proud of you, buddy. This guy goes on to say, we're proud of you, Billy Boy. Nice.

Don't ever think that we get tired of hearing about your growth and the work that you've done on yourself. You're an inspiration for a lot of men with pent-up anger from a crazy childhood. I'm 37, went to therapy when I was. 34, changed my life. Trust me, I completely understand what you mean when you say it's gone. Keep being you, Bill. We love you, man. Well, thank you. That is the weirdest thing. That it's gone. Like, it's just, it's like a diseased. That's the only thing I, I've never had to fight a disease, thank God. But like, you know, my, I can only imagine. There's just things eaten away at you from the inside and all of a sudden it's not there anymore has been incredible.

But I'm also not taking it for granted because I still don't quite believe it. I never thought that this was going to happen. So I got another massage breathwork thing tomorrow. I'm continuing to walk towards the light. I've been in the dark hole for a long time. Just continuing to do that. Doing the journal. Did yoga.

I'm doing everything I can to like make sure I don't go back. into that stuff, but like, it's weird. Like, I know it's over, but I also don't trust it at the same time. So anyway, there you go. I'm going to watch this Rams Bears game as much as I can. I don't know. Seahawks are looking like fucking world beaters, huh? But then again, they also played a really banged up 49ers team.

So who knows? It's really anybody's game at this point. All right, that's it, everybody. Congratulations to the Patriots. Great seasons by the Texans. Condolences to the Broncos with your quarterback, Bo Nix getting hurt. Bills, you got the, you got, I don't get that fucking call at all. And I am a Buffalo Bills fan all the way back to fucking Joe Ferguson, O.J. Simpson, Joe de Mallier.

OJ. on the field, not off. And in movies. OJ. was great. But that fucking. space movie he made and those naked guns. And Joe Cribs. Who else? Who won yesterday?

Oh, the Seattle Seahawks, man. They're looking, they're fucking looking all right. All right. Anyways, that's the podcast. Go Bruins, go Patriots, go Celtics. Great fucking time of year. Good luck to Indiana and the University of Miami. I hope it's a classic.

both obviously incredible seasons for both them. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves or check in on you on Thursday.